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8 Hilarious Catholic Jokes

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2024
  • A Franciscan, Dominican, and a Jesuit walk into a bar... As Catholics, having a sense of humor is part of being Christian. We are able to laugh at ourselves and make fun of each other in love. Here are eight jokes about being religious that will have you rolling on the floor!
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ความคิดเห็น • 771

  • @mariogonzalez-gf7ur
    @mariogonzalez-gf7ur 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    A painter was painting a church and ran out of paint as he was about to finish ,so instead of buying more paint he thinned it really thin when he heard thunder and a voice saying " REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE.

  • @TheKoolbraider
    @TheKoolbraider 4 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    Our priest told this one: A janitor was up cleaning and out of sight. There was a little old lady in prayer before a statue of Mary. The janitor decided to have some fun. He said in a "Jesus-like voice" something to her. She responded " Shhhh, I'm talking to Your mother!" I loved your jokes; we need something to lighten our days now.

  • @st.joanieofarc6115
    @st.joanieofarc6115 5 ปีที่แล้ว +364

    Having a dad who majored in theology, I stopped the video half way and told my dad one of these jokes. He responded with another religious joke. I went to finish the video and For. Casey told the same joke.
    Brilliant minds think alike 😂😂😂

    • @EnderElohim
      @EnderElohim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      man i'm jealous XD and here i have a pagan family. God bless your father

  • @paulbrosnan4339
    @paulbrosnan4339 4 ปีที่แล้ว +281

    An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian are looking at the Garden of Eden by Michelangelo. They're having a debate on what nationality Adam and Eve are. The Englishman says "they look so fancy and regal, they must be English. The Frenchman says "they look so good while naked, they're clearly French" finally the Russian says "They have no clothes, nothing to eat, no source of knowledge and they've been told this is paradise. They're very clearly Russian.

    • @winchesterchua3311
      @winchesterchua3311 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      You didn't say he was a 19th century Russian.

    • @sergei_mikhailovich
      @sergei_mikhailovich 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@winchesterchua3311
      Or a Russian during the USSR.

    • @glenncordova4027
      @glenncordova4027 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Or a modern Russian living in Putin's Russia. Somethings never change.

  • @ScottyUrb
    @ScottyUrb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +287

    A Dominican, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit are transported to the time and place of Jesus's birth.
    The Dominican marvels at this manifestation of God's glory.
    The Franciscan is awed by the simplicity and humility of the Child in the manger.
    The Jesuit goes unto Mary and Joseph and asks: "Have you thought about the Child's education?"

    • @atn2018
      @atn2018 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ScottyUrb ...Now I know why Jesuit are doing such a wonderful job in my place... 😂

    • @lordjesuschristhavemercyon3251
      @lordjesuschristhavemercyon3251 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Lolol, time to write this down.

    • @brotherutoy2225
      @brotherutoy2225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I was looking for this joke at the comments section. Thanks!

    • @contact3604
      @contact3604 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That was first class👏👏👏
      That made me laugh, so much.😁😁😁😁😁
      Thank you!
      Moira
      From England🤗

  • @buntug
    @buntug 3 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    After getting all of Pope Francis' luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel lightly), the limo driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
    "Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "but would you please take your seat so we may leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, so I'd like to do the driving today."
    "I'm sorry, but I cannot let you do that -- I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never come in to work that morning. "There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
    Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 MPH.
    "Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the limo driver.
    The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches. The cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on his radio.
    "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five. "So bust him!" said the Chief.
    "I don't think we want to do that; he's really important," said the cop. The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
    "No, I mean REALLY important!" said the cop.
    The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
    Cop: "Bigger."
    Chief: "Governor?"
    Cop: "Bigger."
    "Well," says the Chief, "then who is it?"
    Cop: "I think it's God!"
    Chief: "Now what makes you think it's
    God Himself?"
    Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver."

  • @jen9774
    @jen9774 5 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    Thanks for your jokes. One of my favourites :---- Jesus, sitting on a park bench, turns to the young man next to him and says "When I asked you to follow me I didn't mean on Twitter."

    • @Angelalex242
      @Angelalex242 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How about Instagram? Facebook maybe?

  • @bluegrasskid4835
    @bluegrasskid4835 5 ปีที่แล้ว +853

    A Dominican was getting a hair cut and when it came time to pay, the barber refused and said a man of the cloth does not pay. The next morning when the barber opened the door, a basket of fresh bread was there and a thank you note. A Franciscan shows up for a hair cut and again the barber refuses payment from a man of the cloth. The next morning, a basket with bottles of home made wine and a note of thanks is at the door. A Jesuit walks in and again the barber refuses his payment. The next morning a dozen Jesuits are at his door for their hair cut.

    • @lizb853
      @lizb853 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I understand the jokes well enough, but I fail to find any humour whatsoever in any of these jokes. Perhaps someone could
      enlighten me, just WHAT is meant to be so funny.

    • @geraldineekhator5428
      @geraldineekhator5428 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Liz B I don’t think that they are funny the way that they were delivered.

    • @lizb853
      @lizb853 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@geraldineekhator5428
      Think you're right, I do like a good laugh, so at first I thought it could have been due to the fact, that I've been under rather a strain lately, so my brain just was't functioning properly, but you've hit the nail clean on the head. It's the way the man told them, making them in effect boring, straight and humourless.
      Pity really, as they COULD have been a proper belly laugh.
      Oh well! better luck next time I guess.

    • @YeomanLocksly
      @YeomanLocksly 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      This joke really made my day 😃

    • @bluegrasskid4835
      @bluegrasskid4835 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@YeomanLocksly Glad you liked it

  • @mittwochxiv.9770
    @mittwochxiv.9770 4 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    When I first watched this, I had no clue of the characteristics of different orders. It send me on a trip of research. Now the video has been recommended to me again and I get all the jokes. Feels very satisfying.

  • @SteReso
    @SteReso 4 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    Moses goes to his friend Abraham and says: "Abraham, my dear friend, I am so puzzled...! Apparently my son wants to convert to Catholicism, what should I do?"
    Abraham responds: "It's fun that you ask, because my son as well wants to convert to Catholicism! We should ask the rabbi for advice"
    So they go to their rabbi: "Rabbi, rabbi, we are so puzzled! Apparently our sons want to convert to Catholicism, what should we do?"
    The rabbi responds: "It's fun that you ask, because my son as well wants to convert to Catholicism! We should pray to Yahweh for advice"
    So they pray intensely and suddenly the skies open upon them, a blinding light shines through, and a powerful voice says: "...IT'S FUN THAT YOU ASK, BECAUSE MY SON AS WELL..."

    • @EnderElohim
      @EnderElohim 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      hehehehe goood one :D

    • @mwplaylist2890
      @mwplaylist2890 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Brilliant!

    • @adrianinha19
      @adrianinha19 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😂

    • @tommythecat4961
      @tommythecat4961 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      A variation on this joke is that nobody knows what to do, how to deal with it, their precious heritage... until they ask God what He did, and He answers: "simple, I just wrote a New Testament!"

    • @lingsuyen9509
      @lingsuyen9509 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      👍👍😂😂

  • @millergre
    @millergre 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    What do a priest and a mutual fund have in common? They're both in~vest~ments. har har har... I crack myself up.

  • @Rick-ve5lx
    @Rick-ve5lx 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    An Orangeman (Irish Protestant) is on his deathbed and says he wants to convert to Catholicism. He explains by saying “Better that one of them dies than one of us.”

    • @seulanen576
      @seulanen576 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @darwinlbeceril4052
    @darwinlbeceril4052 5 ปีที่แล้ว +317

    A Dominican, a Franciscan and a Jesuit entered a bar, then the bartender said, "Oh my! Is this a joke!"

    • @TheLeonhamm
      @TheLeonhamm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How did (s)he know they were a Dominican, a .. etc? Not very funny, but all too true. ;O)

    • @jen9774
      @jen9774 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Ben 😅😅😅😅

    • @TheLeonhamm
      @TheLeonhamm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Ben Don't! I nearly choked laughing. Cheers, Ben.

    • @andoylanggid
      @andoylanggid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Ben
      Some Jesuits are quite traditional, they wore black with a rainbow collar.

    • @amymhchan1584
      @amymhchan1584 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      😄

  • @itsjustbree9267
    @itsjustbree9267 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1254

    Jesus: "Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone."
    Crowd: *silence*
    *a single stone comes hurtling through the air*
    Jesus: *rolls his eyes* "Mom!"

    • @peppy619
      @peppy619 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      do I detected a H E R E S Y?

    • @itsjustbree9267
      @itsjustbree9267 5 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      @@peppy619 If you're Catholic it's not a heresy.

    • @razorransom1795
      @razorransom1795 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @Khrotso Koza also she's in a way, the living ark of the covenant, since she held Jesus for a time period.

    • @USMCVetDawn
      @USMCVetDawn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      Marian devotion is probably the most misunderstood part of Catholicism, even for some Catholics! Disappointing, as her role was foretold in Genesis and when understood, is positively mind-blowing in its beauty!

    • @ant.d531
      @ant.d531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      All the comments above mine....just awesome.😊🙏

  • @juliuscaesar5397
    @juliuscaesar5397 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Even though no Catholic has ever converted me, every Catholic I know has been able to give me something - often a new insight or interest. However - we all know what this Catholic has given me: the pure joy of laughter at these jokes.

    • @therese_paula
      @therese_paula 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      And no Catholic will ever convert you, for it is not their work. It is the Holy Spirit's nudges and it depends on whether you respond positively to the call. 😊

  • @conradlobo3956
    @conradlobo3956 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    3:03 When all of a sudden the power went out... And I try to tap my phone screen thinking it went off!

  • @anipigs
    @anipigs 5 ปีที่แล้ว +165

    THE ONE ABOUT THE LIGHT HAHAHHA

    • @juanvaldez1995
      @juanvaldez1995 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Ana Paula Guevara that was hilarious !

    • @shadow_of_the_spirit
      @shadow_of_the_spirit 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That was my fav

    • @ironymatt
      @ironymatt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      As an electrician, I concur

    • @ophyjgjhnfn
      @ophyjgjhnfn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Right? Hahaha. Totally something my grandpa would have said

    • @jackdarby2168
      @jackdarby2168 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yep laughed out loud at thT one too. Halarious

  • @simeonbaumel7293
    @simeonbaumel7293 3 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    A priest, a rabbit and a monk walk into a bar. The bartender asked the rabbit, "What do you want to drink?" The rabbit replies, "I don't know. I'm here only because of autocorrect".

    • @loveartandscience6289
      @loveartandscience6289 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This joke is definitely underrated. I love it!

    • @thisguy9400
      @thisguy9400 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      A Marianist Brother told me one similar to that - a priest, a rabbit & a monk walked into a blood bank - the rabbit said “I think I might be a type-o”

  • @GinnyandEric
    @GinnyandEric 5 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    Father Casey is a Priest for the Church, a TH-cam content creator, AND a comedian! 🤣

  • @vkorchnoifan
    @vkorchnoifan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +276

    What do you get when you don't pay the exorcist for his exorcism ? You get repossessed !!!!

    • @BreakingInTheHabit
      @BreakingInTheHabit  5 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      Clever!

    • @mariadeleon7667
      @mariadeleon7667 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Busted up laughing 😂 and woke my husband up, that was a good one TY

    • @susann.1618
      @susann.1618 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Too funny!

    • @Loreman72
      @Loreman72 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Oof!

    • @jen9774
      @jen9774 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @PointyTailofSatan
    @PointyTailofSatan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Betty Crocker, the famous bakery chef, is given an audience with the Pope. She greets His Holiness, but surprisingly, the Pope begins to chastise her, telling her that she will go to Hell if she doesn't "stop". Everyone in the room is totally confused by the Pope's diatribe. That is, until a nearby cardinal suddenly realizes the cause is the Pope's poor hearing. Diplomatically, the cardinal leans over to the Pope's good ear, and whispers......"Your Holiness......Ms. Crocker is a MASTER BAKER. A MASTER BAKER".

  • @donbarton2747
    @donbarton2747 5 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    The monks were required to take a vow of silence however, every six years they were allowed to say three words to the head monk.
    One day a young man took his vows and became a monk, and after working all day he finally got his dinner. And using his first three words, he tells the head monk "Food too hot!"
    When the next day came and his food was ice cold, and the monk was stuck with cold food for the next six years.
    After six grueling years, the young monk said "Food too cold!" and when the food came to him later that day, it was too hot again. Thinking he wasn't making any progress with the food he laid back in his bed thinking what he was going to do, when a spring came out from his mattress and into his back. The monk let out a sigh.
    After six more years of agonizing sleep he exclaimed "Bed too uncomfortable!" the head monk turned to him and said "You know what? You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

  • @dawnelainebowie3943
    @dawnelainebowie3943 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thomas Merton reportedly told the monks at Gethsemani that they weren't really contemplatives, they were just introverts. As an introvert, I find this hilarious.

  • @sullyroddy
    @sullyroddy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    There was a man named Frank-- he was a big man, and all through out his childhood his mother had told him, "Frank-- if you're ever in trouble, pray to your patron saint for help. Pray to saint Francis."
    One day Frank is on a jet crossing the Atlantic heading to a business meeting in Europe, when suddenly a gas tank springs a leak. The pilot calmed the passengers, and said "According to out calculations, if we jettison all the luggage the plane will be light enough to reach land despite the leak.". Immediately all luggage is jettisoned. But it isn't enough! The plane is still too heavy. So the cabin crew unbolts all the seats from the floor and jettison them, too. Still not enough! The plane is still 250 lbs too heavy. The pilot looks around and spot Frank. By far he is the heaviest and largest passenger-- they've got to jettison him, too, in order to save the others. They push him out, and the rubber raft they'd given him a moment earlier is ripped from his grasp. He pulls the cord for his parachute, but the parachute fails to open. He is hurtling towards a watery grave! Remembering his mother's words, he shouts "Saint Francis! Saint Francis! Save me!". The clouds open, and a huge hand swoops down and catches Frank just feet before he hits the freezing water. "Oh, thank you, saint Francis! Thank you," Frank sobs. From the heavens comes a booming voice. "Saint Francis of Assisi, or Saint Francis Xavier?"

  • @keonlouissebastian3131
    @keonlouissebastian3131 5 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    the franciscan and a jesuit are arguing which of their order was more popular and pleasing to God neither one convinces the other then the heaven opened with a thunderclap and roaring winds. a note fell down and says
    don't argue please.
    God, O.P

    • @nasugbubatangas
      @nasugbubatangas 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      hahahaha This made me really laugh.

    • @paulmiller3469
      @paulmiller3469 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too, lol

    • @anhthunguyen8958
      @anhthunguyen8958 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes, even more funny!

    • @a.d1287
      @a.d1287 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Huh

    • @paulmiller3469
      @paulmiller3469 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@a.d1287 The joke is saying God is a Dominican, or Order of Preachers (O.P.).

  • @jacobphyman4049
    @jacobphyman4049 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    “What’s a novena?” - A Jesuit
    Bruh, this made my day. Thanks so much for your witness to humor!

    • @zhouwu
      @zhouwu 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      What is a novena?

    • @lynk8435
      @lynk8435 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@zhouwu Seriously? You are not Catholic then? It's saintly prayers you say for 9 days for a particular intention.

    • @zhouwu
      @zhouwu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@lynk8435 Oh, thanks! No, I'm not a Catholic. I'm just one of those run of the mill, born again, Bible only Christians, who refuses to take a name other than the name of Christ, and is ignorant of every tradition apart from what is written of in the Bible.
      My equivalent to a novena is just a pell mell fasting and praying to discern the Will of God in my situation. I dare not ask for anything like a Mercedes-Benz. With my food and water and covering and a roof over my head, I am more than satiated.
      That I can read the Bible and pray is the Grace of God to allocate to me sufficient time outside of my work and studies to devote myself to my Lord.
      I'm not a Jesuit, and don't even know what a Jesuit really is, except that the current Pope is supposed to be some sort of Jesuit, and something about how Dominicans were commissioned to take out the Albigensians, and completed that task with an Albigensian crusade, not for the Albigensians, but against them. And the Jesuits were commissioned against the Protestants, but were not quite so successful. To the contrary, in fact.
      But beyond that, the Jesuit and a Dominican and novenas are just about a foreign language to me.

    • @zhouwu
      @zhouwu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@lynk8435 but it seems like in the matter of knowing about novenas, it seems about impossible to tell the difference between me and a Jesuit. But I dare say that on further investigation, there are many areas where I am rather different to a Jesuit. A Jesuit would, for example, be far more handy to have around when the light goes out than I would be.
      I can try, but I'm definitely not as much an expert at practical matters as the Jesuits seem to be. And Jesuits probably know more about Mercedes-Benzs than I do. I'd be completely hopeless to negotiate a good car deal. I'd probably just say yes, no matter how unreasonable the other person is, to not offend my Lord Jesus.

    • @lynk8435
      @lynk8435 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@zhouwu Your Pope is a Jesuit.

  • @jovanweismiller7114
    @jovanweismiller7114 5 ปีที่แล้ว +195

    A Jesuit and a Carmelite were good friends and heavy smokers who found it tough to pray for long periods without stopping prayer to have a cigarette. So they decided to ask their superiors for permission to smoke. The next time they met, the Jesuit was upset. He said to his friend, "I asked for permission to smoke while praying, and was told no." The Carmelite replied, "I asked if I could pray while I smoke. He said "Of course.""

    • @etherealstars5766
      @etherealstars5766 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Lol this was the Joke told in "The Two Popes" Movie

    • @tessaben1211
      @tessaben1211 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I like that one....because I'm a Carmelite!!

    • @simeonbaumel7293
      @simeonbaumel7293 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@tessaben1211 I used to live near Mt. Carmel..
      (just north of Haifa; while the mountain stretches from Haifa southwards)

  • @susangrande8142
    @susangrande8142 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I LOVE THESE!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I’m a grad student at a Jesuit university, and I’m passing this on to a Jesuit priest I know! Thank you so much, Fr. Casey!

  • @brianayers1736
    @brianayers1736 5 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    What’s the difference between at Dominican and a Jesuit? The Dominicans where founded to combat the heresy of Albigensianism, the Jesuits to combat the heresy of Protestantism. Well, how many Albigensian have you met lately?

    • @wms72
      @wms72 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Oh, this is priceless!!!

    • @MariaMartinez-researcher
      @MariaMartinez-researcher 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      (Someone up here said: Dominicans had swords.)

    • @thiagodemelo9939
      @thiagodemelo9939 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      😂😂😂

    • @ultimateoriginalgod
      @ultimateoriginalgod ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@MariaMartinez-researcher *Hint* só did jesuits

    • @MariaMartinez-researcher
      @MariaMartinez-researcher ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ultimateoriginalgod Sources? Literally, sources? The Jesuits were funded by a former soldier, but they weren't combatants. Protestants are very much alive, and, many Jesuits were killed in their missions - and still are.

  • @frankherbert6476
    @frankherbert6476 5 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    How many Orthodox does it take to change a lightbulb? Orthodox: What is change? Other Orthodox: What is a lightbulb?

  • @junelledembroski9183
    @junelledembroski9183 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    “...Then finally Saint Francis stood up and with a smile on his face he said yes you were right, before order was chaos so we the Franciscans are first...” then laity comes in and says in Matthew, Mark, and Luke say many who are first will be last and the last, first, therefore we are last...

  • @michaellyons9820
    @michaellyons9820 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Three men out in a boat fishing found themselves in dire straits when a storm was approaching and sharks were circling the boat, and the engine wouldn't start. None of them were religious, but, desperate, one suggested they pray. They all agreed but no one knew how. Finally, one spoke up and said he grew up across the street from a Catholic church and would listen through the door to what was being said. One of his boat mates yelled, "Well get to it, man, we have to try something!" So he said, "OK, I'll do my best." Then he folded his hands and began, "N39. B14. O75. I20. G57."

    • @seulanen576
      @seulanen576 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What does that mean, I really need to know :'D

    • @michaellyons9820
      @michaellyons9820 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@seulanen576 Those are Bingo numbers.

    • @seulanen576
      @seulanen576 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@michaellyons9820 Thank you x'D

  • @monaoconnell5650
    @monaoconnell5650 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you for the chuckles. Hope to hear more from you! I am a 72 year old woman and need a few laughs. :).

  • @italianboy2005
    @italianboy2005 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    What we need in our church, a sense of humor

  • @maryloufrisch54
    @maryloufrisch54 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    One of my professors in college always talked about the Jesuits and about their calling and he called them the marines of God. The ones I know of are lawyers, doctors and accountants.

  • @maggierose8279
    @maggierose8279 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    just watched this vid with my morning coffee ... funny ... i'm still smiling

  • @YeomanLocksly
    @YeomanLocksly 5 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    There is a computer in the Bible, Adam and eve had an Apple 🍎,
    (now for the joke) it had a very weak memory, just 2 bytes and it crashed 💻❌

    • @alfonsovaldez2838
      @alfonsovaldez2838 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hahaaaah what a joke... Sorry apple.

    • @atn2018
      @atn2018 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      YeomanLocksly ...😂 😂

    • @s.t.santos5928
      @s.t.santos5928 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      LoL!

    • @colleen1750
      @colleen1750 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @Glen M The Apostles had a Honda -- they were all in one Accord.

    • @colleen1750
      @colleen1750 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I haven't laughed in ages. Thank you!!

  • @therese_paula
    @therese_paula 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    😂 Father, your timing & delivery is impeccable! Seems like you had theater training

  • @WashingtonDC99
    @WashingtonDC99 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Hahaha LOL
    Thank you so much for the video clip. I laughed so hard 😂😂 Personally love...the Franciscan. San Francisco de Asis is my most favorite Saint. I was born in a town name San Francisco, the church where I was baptized is Saint Francis of Assisi, one of the school I went is Saint Francis of Assisi. God bless you Fr Casey.

  • @tesschavit3009
    @tesschavit3009 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    God bless you father Casey, hope there are more young men like you to follow Christ rather than this world. There are mansions waiting in heaven for the priests who follows Christ faithfully.

  • @bebetonguga
    @bebetonguga 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Well, our Father Casey's also a commediant!! Hahaha! Congrats for the humor! I really liked it! Stand up comedy, next!!

  • @msinvincible2000
    @msinvincible2000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I loved the one with the jesuit fixing the light. It's so true: jesuits are intellectuals (although my beloved benedictines are quite intellectual too, but they are more humble and discrete)

  • @draghaly
    @draghaly 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    I like this one: a man goes for confession: Father I sinned,.... during the 2nd world war, I hid a jewish in my attic, .... but my son there is no sin in this action, you actually saved his life
    -I know father but there is something else, I charged him 50$ a month!
    -well you helped him you gave him warmth and a place to sleep.. I see no sin in that
    -well father the problem is that I never told him that the war was over

    • @destaabigael9004
      @destaabigael9004 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Electric chair!

    • @dmitrylytov5005
      @dmitrylytov5005 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And the money was still valid after the war? No inflation?
      (on my second thought) What kind of $$ were there in Europe, actually?

    • @zagrizena
      @zagrizena 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dmitrylytov5005 where in Europe, haha?

  • @Davide_Zanoni
    @Davide_Zanoni 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Very funny Father... I laughed a lot! Have a nice (and maybe a fresh...) Summer!

  • @bobapbob5812
    @bobapbob5812 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Two men were big baseball fans. They make a pact that the first to die would come back and tell the other if there is baseball in heaven. Several years later one of the two passes away. The next day he comes back to his friend and says "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that there is baseball in heaven. The bad news is you're pitching on Sunday."

  • @feurigerStern
    @feurigerStern 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I saved this video and look forward to sharing not only the ones in the video, but also many in the comments with my father. We both have great admiration for the Jesuits and well understand their penchant for logic and education.

  • @Angelalex242
    @Angelalex242 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A priest was driving a little erratic and got pulled over by a cop. The cop asks what he's been drinking. The priest says, "water ". "So why do I smell wine?" "Good Lord He's done it again!"

  • @alistairbain6149
    @alistairbain6149 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Pope and Cardinal Ratzinger die and go to heaven. S. Peter greets them and says, “Before you enter, Jesus would like to have a word with each of you. It’s just a formality, nothing to worry about.”
    The Pope goes first. He comes out half an hour later. “I got most of it right. I’m in!”
    The Archbishop of Canterbury goes next and after 45 minutes he comes out. “I got a few things wrong but it’s all good. I’m in.”
    Cardinal Ratzinger is next. Hours go by. Finally Jesus staggers out, shaking his head: “I got it ALL wrong!”

  • @Ferric29
    @Ferric29 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    "What the Jesuits would do next?"
    😂😂😂😂 that made my day fr... HAHAHAHAHA

  • @JS-wq4nf
    @JS-wq4nf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    And the most amazing thing is, that me, living in central Europe knew five out of this eight jokes, even if slightly altered and sometimes more secular...

  • @stevensonDonnie
    @stevensonDonnie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    A rich man died with no heirs and decided to take his money with him to the grave. He converted everything to cash and had 3 billion dollars. He gave a billion dollars each to a Dominican, a Franciscan and a Jesuit, with the instructions that before they closed the casket, they were to throw the money in.
    The day of the funeral came, the three passed by the casket and the pall bearers complained about the weight of the casket. The three men smiled.
    The three met Over coffee the next day, the Dominican blurts out “I did not keep my word! The temptation was too great! I only threw in 800 million! I will use the 200 million to open a Children’s hospital in his name as penance!”
    The Franciscan said “ I too kept our 200 million! I will open schools around the world for poor children in his name!”
    Both looked to the Jesuit, calmly sipping his latte.
    The Jesuit, sitting his coffee down, said “What are your deceitful pair looking at me for? I will have you know that the check I threw in was for the full amount,”

  • @amative63
    @amative63 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    A gambler was at the race track and noticed that a priest blessed a race horse. Thinking this was strange, followed the horse in the first race, and it won, clear two lengths.
    The gambler looked through the crowd and spied the same priest again, and saw that he went up to another horse. Where the gambler observed the priest bless another horse, by making the sign of the cross on its head. Once again, the horse won easily.
    The gambler thought, I'd better watch this priest, and back those horses to win.
    After several more races, the gambler was close to breaking the bookies. All the horses that the priest had blessed had won easily.
    The final race of the day rolled around, and the gambler noticed the priest went to a certain horse, and not just blessed the horse on the head, but had gone around and performed a blessing on each of the four hooves and the head.
    The gambler thought he was on a sure winner, so placed all his winnings on that last horse.
    The horse ran stone motherless last.
    The gambler sought out the priest, and began to berate him. You blessed all those horses and they won. Yet that last horse you blessed even more, and it lost!
    The priest, calmly replied, "That's the problem with you Protestants. You don't know the difference between a Blessing and the Last Rites"

  • @patraic5241
    @patraic5241 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A Dominican, a Franciscan, and a Jesuit walk up to the doorman at a club. He stops them and says, "Gentlemen, I'm very sorry but I can't let you in." They are confused and ask, "Why?" The doorman replies, "Someone might think this is a joke."

  • @contact3604
    @contact3604 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Gosh!
    This is just want l needed.
    Isn't amazing, how the Lord knows exactly what we need! When we need it.😊👏
    Thank you, for being God's hands so we can be blessed!
    Even with your jokes!!!! 😁😁
    Stay safe always you, and your order! And your families.🙏🤗
    Moira
    From England.

  • @jamesalexander5623
    @jamesalexander5623 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    A Priest a Rabbi and a Witch Doctor are on a Plane. A large Fly lands on the Priest who brushes it off. It then lands on the Rabbi who shoos the Fly away but it lands on the Witch Doctor who snatches the Fly and Eats it! ..... The Witch Doctor says "It's Good Luck"! Again a Fly lands on the Priest who brushes it off and again on to the Rabbi who shoos it away. As it lands on the Witch Doctor he grabs it and Eats it up! "Good Luck!" says the Shaman. This time a Fly lands on the Rabbi,he looks at it,Snatches it and turns to the Witch Doctor and says .... "Do Ya Wanna Buy a Fly?"

  • @nbenefiel
    @nbenefiel 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My dad taught at a Jesuit University for close to 50 years. My sisters and I all went to college there. My favourite was three priests, a Jesuit, a Franciscan, and a Dominican were in church, arguing about whom God loved the most. Suddenly, there was a huge clap of thunder, a lightning bolt spilt through the church and left a note smoking on the altar. The priests looked at it in wonder. It said SHAME, I love all of my children the same, signed God, SJ.

  •  3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love it when we joke about ourselves... great video

  • @hectorjr6796
    @hectorjr6796 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    a Fraciscan Priest and a Comedian is a blessed Talent Father, Cheers

  • @efcast1
    @efcast1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Oh, but the Mercedes one.. I learned it as the man went to a Jesuit church and asked if the priest knew what a Mercedes was. He said, “Yes, we have lots of them in our parking lot.” The man said, can you teach me how to do a novena?” The Jesuit said, “What’s a novena?”

  • @ericlepanto4201
    @ericlepanto4201 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A Jesuit, Dominican, Franciscan, Benedictine and a diocesan are in chapel ready to pray vespers when the lights go out.
    SJ immediately dispenses himself from his obligation
    OP thinks of the metaphysics of light and darkness
    OFM embraces and swoons over contemplation of brother darkness
    OSB prays the Psalms cause he has them memorized.
    Diocesan goes to check the fuse box.

  • @herrschmidt412
    @herrschmidt412 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I don't know enough about different orders to really get this but I still enjoyed it quite a bit

  • @brockmackin8913
    @brockmackin8913 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    A Dominican and a Jesuit were discussing which was the superior order. After much discussion, they decided to pray for a sign from the Lord. A short while later, a balloon floats down with a message attached. They unroll the message to read the following: "Stop arguing about such trivial things. Signed God, OFM"

  • @samppakoivula9977
    @samppakoivula9977 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Q: What happened when an earthquake interrupted the service? A: Mass panic

  • @nasugbubatangas
    @nasugbubatangas 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Just out of curiosity, I have never heard a joke about the Augustinians. (I am a 3rd Order Secular Augustinian Recollect).
    I sometimes feel these there great Orders, the Franciscans, the Dominicans, and the Jesuits; have forgotten that we still exist hahaha

    • @BreakingInTheHabit
      @BreakingInTheHabit  5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Yes, the same with the Carmelites. My guess is its because these two orders are not very easy to caricature. I'm not sure of any obvious, stereotypical trait.

    • @albertbenedictsolimanosa5552
      @albertbenedictsolimanosa5552 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@BreakingInTheHabit The General Curia of the Augustinians is located beside the colonnade of St. Peter's Square, facing the windows of the Apostolic Palace. Perhaps it is because the Pope is keeping an eye on us friars for heresy XP

    • @DubiaFluctuant
      @DubiaFluctuant 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      have you ever hear of the Cartujos,,,, yes they exist.

    • @lordjesuschristhavemercyon3251
      @lordjesuschristhavemercyon3251 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DubiaFluctuant Cartujos?

    • @bradleesargent
      @bradleesargent 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @B r i a n Did you hear the one where Saint Theresa of Avila, her carriage tipped over and she said "No wonder God has so few friends"???

  • @SmokeFlame1
    @SmokeFlame1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    A sinner kept going to his priest to confess the same sin, over and over. He kept stealing lumber.
    Finally the priest said "You should make a Novena."
    The sinner replied: "Father, you get the plans, I'll get the lumber."

    • @redmichiko
      @redmichiko 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      SmokeFlame1 lol

  • @briankelly85
    @briankelly85 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    very funny. thank you. laughter is the language of the soul.

  • @cristineevangelio5223
    @cristineevangelio5223 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    working as a lay collaborator in a jesuit education, i find these (especially the jesuits) so funny! 😂

  • @evandroantonucci2653
    @evandroantonucci2653 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video, Father Casey! It was lots of fun. Thanks for sharing!👏🏻🙏🏻

  • @razorransom1795
    @razorransom1795 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Ok, the jokes actually do make me crack up.😂

  • @carverredacted
    @carverredacted 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is a good crash course in how the different groups work.

    • @BreakingInTheHabit
      @BreakingInTheHabit  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Haha yes. While jokes, there's definitely a bit of truth to them! That's what makes them funny.

  • @pedroalvarez2803
    @pedroalvarez2803 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    A Franciscan and a Benedictine were arguing over which order had most favor with God, and since they couldn't agree on an answer they decided to take the question to prayer. The next morning they found a note on the altar written by God HImself!! It said: "I love you both equally!! Blessings! God, S.J."

  • @ratimiras
    @ratimiras 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Fantastic jokes. I am so glad I ran into you the other day. Love your approach to Evangelisation. God bless you

  • @chrisdaniels3929
    @chrisdaniels3929 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The last joke is a variation on the doctor, lawyer and politician joke.
    Arguing as to whose profession was the oldest, the doctor referred to surgery when Eve was created using Adam's rib.
    The lawyer recalled that earlier God made order out of chaos.
    But the politician asked who made the chaos in the first place.

    • @simeonbaumel7293
      @simeonbaumel7293 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually, it was a doctor, an engineer and a politician (OR a lawyer..)

  • @jamesalexander5623
    @jamesalexander5623 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hey! Did you know Samson was a Great Warrior but an even Greater Entertainer ..... When he Played Dagon's Temple .... He brought the House Down!

  • @patrickhall1739
    @patrickhall1739 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Fr. Casey I can't remember the whole story of the Jesuit and Fransican trying to see which one can preach the best without words. Maybe you know the whole of it. It starts the Jesuit holds up one finger, the Fransican holds up 2 fingers, the Jesuit responds with 3 fingers, the Fransican raises his hand closed, the Jesuit pull out an apple, the Fransican pulls out a loaf of bread, the Jesuit sighs and walks away. That even the fellow Jesuits ask what happen. The jesuit says I used one finger to signify one God, he raised 2 fingers saying Jesus is both Divine and human, I raised 3 fingers signifying the Holy Trinity, raised his hand in a fist to so the creation story, I used an apple to so the fall of Adam and Eve, used bread to so the salvation by Christ in the Eucharist, he beat me and I left.
    The Fransican did the same telling his brethren that Jesuit raised a finger, I thought he was going to poke me in the eye, so I raised 2 letting him know I' poke in both, the he threaten me with 3 fingers so shook my fist at him, then he took out an apple. I thought it was lunch time so I took out my bread. Then he left to take a nap.

  • @johnharris6655
    @johnharris6655 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As a Protestant who loves this channel, can you explain the difference between all the different orders.

  • @radiogoodguy6287
    @radiogoodguy6287 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Enjoyed the humor Father. I pray your first assignment goes well.

  • @carolynschmit66
    @carolynschmit66 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Enjoyed reading tonight. Brought many smiles. Hope to be reading more.😂

  • @hobbywright8495
    @hobbywright8495 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Be wise as Jesuits and harmless as Franciscans.

  • @Joliebebe2001
    @Joliebebe2001 ปีที่แล้ว

    😂😂😂 I love the Franciscans simplicity and humility

  • @lydiapereira1942
    @lydiapereira1942 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Fr Casey

  • @TS-yu2mp
    @TS-yu2mp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love clean jokes they are always more funnier good job.

  • @m4641
    @m4641 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    It takes humility to see the humor in these jokes. Fortunately for me, I have some and I much needed the laugh!

  • @samuel8989
    @samuel8989 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Before choas there was silence, therefore the Carmilites are the first.

  • @dawnlapka2433
    @dawnlapka2433 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I kinda missed those guys, could you bring them back? lol! Jokes and music therapy, prayer, and the power of God's Love is getting me through CORONA VIRUS. I live alone, and I'm ready for a second career. Thanking God 🙏 for Faith Hope Charity every day.

  • @johnweber4029
    @johnweber4029 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for these light-hearted jokes. You told them well and I laughed my butt off, LoL 😂

  • @Mythilt
    @Mythilt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A Rabbi, An Imam, and a Preacher walked into a bar, the Priest ducked in time. (Slightly modified from the original)

  • @efcast1
    @efcast1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The one that ends, “... as confused as a Jesuit during Holy Week.” LOL

  • @JanuWaray
    @JanuWaray 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The chaos and the order...
    Absolutely hilarious!
    Thanks very much, and blessings, father!

  • @Otaku155
    @Otaku155 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian
    Someone who knocks on your door at 6 in the morning and doesn't know why...

  • @santiagoperez5431
    @santiagoperez5431 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I almost spat my tea with the Fransican and Dominican joke

  • @Raven-zr8gm
    @Raven-zr8gm ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amen Thank you god bless you always 🙏❤️😇

  • @DavidIrthum
    @DavidIrthum 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Growing up in a Roman Catholic Church I heard these jokes my parish priest.

  • @gimphglmt
    @gimphglmt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Man: What is a million years like to you?
    God: Like one second.
    Man: What is a million dollars like to you?
    God: Like one penny.
    Man: Can I have a penny?
    God: Just a second.

  • @coraggio93
    @coraggio93 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    LOL! The way I heard the desert island joke was that the Benedictine made no wish. He tells the genie, "I love the silence now that they're gone, so thanks for granting my wish!"

  • @LP-gs3xj
    @LP-gs3xj 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As a product of 12 years of Jesuit education very funny. In all fairness I did have some great deep spiritual conversations with them. They can really challenge you.

  • @893263007
    @893263007 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    The thumbnail for this video is pure gold.

  • @patriciarivas2638
    @patriciarivas2638 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are making me laugh and it’s been so appreciated! Keep it up!

  • @fonsedyr
    @fonsedyr 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Aw these are so sweet. Lovely to be able to joke about the different charisms!

  • @Ajay-nj4vx
    @Ajay-nj4vx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    We need all of them being in a different way and we have them for our different ways.