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Relationship with an Ostomy - We Could Use Your Help! | Let's Talk IBD
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ส.ค. 2023
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We are getting ready for our trip to Houston, Texas and I've been thinking about what we would like to talk about in our session for ostomies and relationships. I want to ask you your thoughts on what should be shared, what concerns you may have with your stoma, and what questions you want answered!
For 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 & 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 requests ONLY, please reach out at maggie@redefined-agency.com!
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Hi, I'm Maggie and I have Crohn's disease. I am thrilled to be here sharing my personal experiences with Inflammatory Bowel Disease as well as living with an ostomy. I'm proud to share a little bit from a clinical experience as well, having worked as a GI pediatric nurse and ostomy telehealth nurse. I am so glad you are here. ♥ #ostomy #ibd #chronicillness
![[UNCUT] ชาวบ้านถาม “นายกอุ๊งอิ๊งค์” ประชาชนมีกิน มีใช้ กี่โมง? I คนดังนั่งเคลียร์ I 16 ส.ค. 67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tKZvOzLIJJc/mqdefault.jpg)
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Thank you for being you.
❤SENDING LOVE AND PRAYERS ❤ ON YOUR ROAD TRIP!!! XOXO YOU HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND. ❤🎉 BE OPEN TO ANY QUESTIONS...YOU ARE A GREAT INSPIRATION ❤❤
I've been disabled since birth and a wheelchair user for almost 30 years. My partner and I met online 18 years ago and he knew about the wheelchair before we met in person. I got a colostomy almost 3 years ago and I was apprehensive, but it didn't phase him. I asked him once and he said, "You are you, it doesn't matter to me." He's a keeper.
How sweet! God bless you and your husband twofold. 💕
Well Maggie. Truth be told, ever since watching your videos here, I find your personality more powerful than your Ostomy medical situation. Yes, Ostomy is serious and needs to be discussed. I do wish good health and minimal disruption by your Ostomy condition. You DO have a magnetic personality. I think Zak might agree with me on this. You’re so positive about life. Sometimes we forget that you have an Ostomy condition.
You being positive is a great story for your conference. Best of luck on your road trip. You and Zak have fun and make wonderful memories.
I'm convinced relationships with ostomies are all about confidence and maturity levels. I've had my ileostomy for almost 30yrs. so all of my "what ifs" have happened and are in the past. Everyone I run into these days is at least aware of what stomas are and most likely even know someone with one. The internet and TH-cam have opened so many ways to learn. If I mention I have a bag people will ask me if I've seen this one girl who talks about "everything ostomy". I gladly say, "Maggie, yes, isn't she wonderful!". You'll do great. Personally I'm proud you represent us ostomates, especially us females, since we tend to be more worried about our appearance. Take care and enjoy your trip!
Perfectly said
You are a great representative for the IBD community! Just act like yourselves and you will do great!
Yes! Pretend it is us!!!!
When you have a digestive difference, there is the matter of those nights when digestion is active and sleeping in the same bed isn't functional - and this can lead to the other partner feeling abandoned. This has had severe impact on some of my relationships.
You're so open and comfortable about your life experiences, I think the greatest gift you can give your audience is an open and comfortable place to share stories and ask questions they're worried about. Only they know what's on their minds and what they need to hear. Maybe open by sharing some of your life lessons like you did in the video, and modeling your confidence and growth and vulnerability to the audience. Inspire people to share their hearts, and let them share their experiences and concerns with you and each other.
Maybe ask some questions to encourage participation, such as, "what is your favorite story about dealing with the world having an ostomy?" Share one of your own.
Whatever you do, you got this!
Hi Maggie, my husband and I are married for 14years, have my ileostomy now 2.5 years, was extremely ill past 6-7 years. I have an amazing support system in my hubby, my kids, family and friends. My biggest concern was living with the ostomy, but my hubby being the wonderful person he is, really made this transition so easy, he does not even notice her(my ostomy), when I was uncomfortable with her, he told me that is the only time he would notice her, he really made this journey so much easier,
I would say things to consider is definitely intimacy and finances, that really plays a huge part in a relationship with an ostomy.
You and Zak will do amazing.
💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
I have BTDT (age 46) but one thing I think is important to reassure young people that it is possible to conceal your appliance if that’s what you want (shy, new/ casual relationship, etc)
There are several methods of course, but the easiest would be to request lights off and just use a belly band for pregnancy, there are also ostomy specific lingerie that securely holds your pouch in place, Crotchless undies , etc. You could even hold it in place with a tight tube top.
The day you are going to be intimate you may want to do a low residue diet so your bag won’t blow up like a balloon.
They also make ostomy belts for men that conceal things and just look like a supportive weight training belt. They can be quite inconspicuous and even come in flesh tones.
I have to respectfully disagree that it's important to hide it. I got my ostomy at 18 years old because of severe Crohn's disease and at 42 I still have it.
It took me 15 years before I shared it with one of my intimate partners, and he broke up with me the minute I told him about it. He never knew because I can sealed it for three years. I still conceal it I have lived with men who didn't even know. It's a terrible secret to keep. Maybe you just mean concealing it during intimate acts
Which I would do even if my partners didn't know about it. But if I could go back and give my 18 year old self advice, it would be to be up and honest about it before intimacy even entered the picture
My stoma usually announces herself as she is quite talkative. No hiding her. She’s not a year old but I’m mainly single because I care for an elderly relative so no time. The gynaecological complications of the Barbie butt is worse. Everything is in a different place, different angle, there’s big amounts of scar tissue etc. not sure if that fits in with your talk? Pelvic physio is a must, especially as it’s helped strengthen my stomach muscles too.
You are so on point. Core muscle strengthening is critical with a stoma.
Total life changer having a pelvic floor PT work with you. It can be hard to find a good one, but it’s so helpful!
HI CattyT! Ive had my stoma for 6 months now, no on mentioned pelvic floor physio so where do I find these online please.
@@claresinclair8030 I found a local specialist physio and pay privately (I’m in the U.K. you can be referred to a gynae physio on the nhs. There’s usually a wait but I just needed mine to be out of work time). I’ve a Barbie butt so that surgery caused the problems. Ask your stoma nurse if they have someone they work with. I think all ostomates should be referred as I hadn’t realise how weak my stoma side was. I struggled to put a sock on as my left stomach muscles were weak. There are lots of pelvic floor exercises on google but you don’t know where your weaknesses are until you’ve seen someone in person. In the U.K. there’s also a group called The Mummy mot who do gynae physio. Hope that helps.
I do not have experience with this, we were married for 25 years prior to “Blanch my belly butt”. Nothing has changed. Certainly directly afterward for the first few months. But the pressure is off once the ostomy situation is opend and freely talked about. It is not something one would just blab about. And respect and Care. Be open, make sure you are comfortable with your self.. and your partner.. you darlin’ are a genuine delightful and well spoken. And Zack is a terrific and genuinely treasure. You got this!!
Im old and already married when I got my ostomy 8 months ago so I didnt have the worry about relationships like a younger person. However it killed what little romance left in my marrige.
Don't accept that.,. Talk to your husband and try again. To love and be loved is the greatest joy on earth.
I agree with @missmisto7261 you may want to use a band etc for practical reasons but please do not feel you have to hide your ostomy. I have shown mine to my boyfriends right before getting intimate so that there be no surprises on the day/night! And neither of them had an issue whatsoever as they said it was a part of me.
I think you'll be great at the conference, you already speak openly to us with your natural warmth and friendliness all the time, public speaking is no different! Keep it interactive if you can and encourage audience participation where feasible. I think you're a great advocate for us stomies! Can't wait to hear all about it when you're back. Best wishes ❤️ 🇬🇧
Dear Maggie, you need to remember that u are already a profesional speaker since you have been making youtube videos fór a long time. Do not worry, you can go there with your head up and high confidence and show everybody how well spoken u are. 💪💪 I Wish u the best luck, Linda from Czech Republic
I don't have an ostomy, but you would think it was a great screening tool. If a guy (or girl) had an issue, he's not an understanding, cool person with whom you could have a great relationship, so it would save a girl/guy from lots of time dating the wrong people.
Hmm. I’m not sure. If I know beforehand that a woman has a serious medical condition (not necessarily an ostomy), I might think of her as a friend. Sometimes, it’s hard to go from friend to romance. I think the best time to reveal would be after the first couple dates when you’re sure you like each other.
You must not have any family or close friends with medical issues. All of us need 💕 love. My ex complained about my back issues. Yet I went back and took care of him the last year of his life. I asked him if he was happy I didn't have the same attitude that he had with me. He apologized and stated he was wrong. I was happy to be with him during his last year.
@@ruby1037 Of course, I would take care of a sick friend. Romance is different. I can’t imagine being sexually attracted to a girl in a hospital bed. I’d hold her hand, though.
@@ruby1037 I don't think you understood the comment.
@LetsTalkIBD I had a full panproctocolectomy in 1997 and I’ve not had a relationship since then because I couldn’t bring myself to even think of being intimate with anyone once I had an ileostomy bag stuck on my body.
I was 35 when I had my operation and I’ve been on my own since then
You provide such great educational content, I say it all the time but just putting videos out there and keeping your channel up is such a great resource for people.
If anything i hope that if anyone is feeling the same way you did at 16 they find a way to adjust their personality to fit their circumstances. Have a great sense of humor, realize they are loved greatly...that their disability doesn't define them. Also to cherish the ones they love, focus on appreciating what you have versus what you cannot control.
It is so hot and humid here in Houston. Wear as much cotton when outside. Yet bring a sweater because sometimes the ac in buildings you can get cold. You will enjoy our accents.
I think if I was going to address anyone that is new to anything health related, I’d let them know they’re not alone. One thing that I know is a commonality among patients is the feeling of going through something alone. It helps to know that there’s someone else who has or is going through something similar.
I think you practiced your intro to your speech right here. It's okay to say you're nervous. You are practiced. Admittedly you won't be able to edit, you're very entertaining.
I have been following you for awhile. I comment now and then. I too am abdominally rearranged . 22 years post. The most painful operation ever. 40 on a scale of 0-10. Ex RN as well who lived kinda close in Lansdale. Love you and your sweet hubby very much. Good luck on your trip. You got this girl. Congratulations on joining the speech circuit!!! 💌
I do not have an ostomy, but I do have an abject fear (I hyperventilate) of public speaking anywhere, You Tube, business meetings or in front of an audience. You do well on You Tube, that ability to be friendly and open is a skill set for all public speaking. As for suggestions, I am guessing "Relationship with an Ostomy" will go in two directions: (1) when your significant other is also a sometime caregiver and occasionally an advocate in public situations...security checks and (2) intimacy issues (there have been several videos on this channel that have already addressed that subject quite well). BTW take industrial strength deodorant with you, Texas in August! Also take a sweater or shawl as hotels/conference areas tend to over cool!
This is definitely a topic that I would like to hear about! I hope it's live streamed or something. I'm haven't exhausted all the other options before needing an ostomy yet, and would be interested if you have anything to say about someone in that situation who is still pretty messed up
I read "relationship with your ostomy". I can't stand it burble especially when that gives a strange tickling sensation there, but i will have to stay kind to it as it stays in that one place.
Sometimes, when a person who has undergone such medical procedures and feels particularly down, will ask: why did this happen to me? Why something happens to one person when they are good, kind and decent is a mystery. What matters is that they are loved by a person who vows "...to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow." Such is the promise of love that sustains them.
I don't have an ostomy but when I was a little girl who was taking piano lessons I had to give a concert because that's what piano students do. I wasn't afraid at all. I just went out on stage and sat down on the piano bench and began to play. Inevitably I made a mistake. I wasn't upset. I slid off the bench, bowed to the audience and announced that I made a mistake but now I would do it correctly, and I did. I bowed again and went backstage where my teacher said with horror, if you make a mistake just keep on playing the rest of the piece. I began to cry. From that moment on I had stagefright and I shake like a leaf whenever I have to speak in public.
On occasion I have had to address a public audienmce in the course of issues I advocate for. What I do to prepare is to write out everything. Then I highlight the main thought of each paragraph. Then I just speak and hop from paragraph to paragraph keeping watch on the time. I add or subtract detail depending on the time remaining, but I always get in my main thoughts. They are the highlighted bits. I can drop parts or embellish parts depending on time allotted and how much I have strayed from each main point.
You know your subject, Maggie. You know about the insecure child. You know about the first intimate moments when something went wrong. You know about sexy stoma belts. You know about asking for and getting your needs met. You know all about your own life. You have years of videos to draw from. You always pull it off when you talk about your real life. Just tell your side of your life story and Zack will tell your life from his point of view. It does not have to coordinate. Leave time for four or five questions and you both are home free! You are a pro at public speaking. You do it on You Tube all the time. That's why we love you. It's your frankness, honesty, and pleasantness that we love.
Number one how you’re talking right now is what people need to hear. The fears the anxieties, the discomfort of having an Ostomy and wondering what other people think. In a relationship I believe if you have a supportive partner that makes all the difference in the world. You and I are blessed enough to have a partner that gets it but there’s always the times that both of you get sick of the ostomy getting in the way of living life as a relationship couple or a married couple or whatever. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be dating with an Ostomy. I would say a topic to hit on is overcoming the ostomy being a barrier for yourself in your own mind first because how you think about yourself affects everything about others and how they view you as well, if you’re good with it, a lot of other people will be good with it too! I believe It’s coming to grips for yourself, dating or married or otherwise. I think a huge topic for a lot of people with ostomies and relationships would be intimacy and feeling comfortable in your own skin and getting your brain past what you see and ways to do that in order to be intimate with confidence. You’ve talked about it and I’ve experienced it as well. The frequency of having to empty and planning and also I have found when I wear lingerie that actually covers my Ostomy and it takes it out of my sight to be able to focus on the moment and the intimacy with my husband. And what to eat and not eat before intimacy etc. I think that all plays into the factor of one of the most important parts of a relationship is intimacy but also I believe that communication between you and your partner is super super enormous and being able to communicate and educate. I think it’s huge so they don’t feel so helpless and they don’t get sick of hearing about it and they understand that this is permanent and that life can be lived. There just needs to be some certain steps to enjoy it as much as possible in between any episodes of any kind and that we are more fragile in some ways, depending on the person and that we’re all different, even though we all have ostomies.
I hope that these couple things help on topics to speak about. I wish I could be there as a support and also to learn I have learned so much from you.
When I was going from a J-pouch to having everything taken out, it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made in my life, but I had to because I had a couple setons And an ileostomy, and I still had function of the bottom part and there was no control. I had a Seton in my rectal wall, and I also had one in my vaginal wall which made it, so there was no control out of either opening and I was miserable and scared, and, it took a lot for my husband to be the man that he was through something like that so I gave him huge props! But if you don’t have a partner that is supportive like that and they don’t understand it can be very difficult so encouraging communication in a relationship is huge. Having them go to the doctor with you having them hear it for themselves not just see you go through stuff and wish that you didn’t have to because it’s inconvenient or lack of understanding and then them shying away possibly people might have to deal with that, and then the patient feeling like a burden in the relationship.
These are all phases and learning stages that we go through but not all of them work out for people. When I was making this decision for the J-pouch excision, and to have everything closed up and reconstructed, I watched your video you had had it done the year before me I was in April 2020 during Covid, but you gave me hope that life can be lived even if you take all of that out and go to a permanent ostomy for quality of life, and to save my life.
So that’s my two cents. I hope it helps and I think you’re doing a great job every time you share online whether it’s positive or what you’re going through or how to get through something or just venting, or, whatever I appreciate it because it helps me to feel not so alone in this journey. Your experience and compassion and real true thoughts of what you go through in a relationship is all you need to do is just be you be authentic and speak truth. Make some bullet points so you stay on track and you will do exactly what you’re supposed to do. God bless take care hon.
You and Zak got this
The best suggestion that I can think of is talk to them just like you do on a video. Just write out a script as you would and tell person stories about yourself or maybe a patient.
M is having a normal existential crisis for a person in her medical condition. My wife, also named Maggie (Margaret) has had 13 surgeries for various conditions including an intestinal blockage (12 hours away from tissue necrosis per e.r. surgeon) and I have actually lost count of the number of emergency room visits. I'm sure that all who follow her channel wish her well.
Maggie your a natural real,warm,up beat person you and Zak are going to be great! You so got this!
I guess it's late on this, but yeah, your personality shines through: it's why I took a look again even though I got my colostomy reversed 5 months ago. You have such a good sense of humor: a wry, dry, humble way of, as you said, seeing the lighter side of things "because otherwise you'd lose" your marbles.
I got here from a short video that popped up, and it was nice to see were no longer rail-thin. You looked contented and happy (if that's a word for such a life of stress;) - and beautiful, as always.
I’m 6 years with my ostomy and sex is just too painful, so it changed my life in that respect. My partner is very understanding.
A pelvic floor therapist may have some suggestions for you.
I think coming to terms with Urostomy / colostomy is the most important aspect: that would feed into one's ability to successfully negotiate a passing/ permanent relationship/ s.
I don't know that this will fit/make sense in context and I don't use either but plenty of paraplegic's use indwelling caths for bladder care and ostomies for bowel care. In either case the main reason is freedom and independence from another person for something private/personal. That can be a double edged sword with relationships because of either not being needed enough or to much as a partner. Also, how one views themselves in such contexts can depends on the age of the person. Someone that's had an ostomy or been incontinent since early childhood/birth before the brain is fully formed is going to look at how they go to the bathroom as just how they do. They aren't going to have the same worries or concerns around it that others who experienced it later might or in perhaps the same negative way a partner or someone they intended on having a relationship would.
I have a urostomy, to a bit the same, a bit different. I am very open with people if they ask about it, and have no issues sharing my story. I tell people it was a lifesaver, and honestly think having a urostomy is an improvement over my previous way to urinate! Much more hygienic and can empty just about anywhere. I wear whatever clothes I feel comfortable in that are my age-appropriate. I carry a complete change of clothes (leggings, t-shirt, underpants, plus stoma appliance gear) in a thermal bag for the car, and a smaller makeup bag with 2 changes of stoma gear in my purse. Having these emergency supplies make me feel secure to go anywhere. Unlike bowel ostomies, we don't have single-use, non-emptying bags, but that's ok, too. Keep spreading the word that bag peeps are fun and fabulous!
The straightforward truth is always the best. In other words, don't hold back! I don't know the conference set up but I would say that attendees be offered a questionnaire on which they can submit their questions that they want you to address. The confidentiality would make it easier for those listening to possibly get their most "stressful" issues addressed. Also, you are a great speaker because you are truly an educator. The fact that you live with an ostomy is just the particulars; you are a teacher and it shows. A good teacher cares deeply about their topic/experience so as to help others to either follow a recommended path or to not do a wrong thing that the teacher has discovered. So, please, do not speak the words of what you "are not" and be thankful for this wonderful opportunity to help others. We are.
I think the things you've spoke on are things people can be concerned about for sure. Then just living differently with everything you do now. Can be concerns as you go and in the moments of just living.... product and supply needing and having things that help with having a ostomy with whatever..up to and including a home and having your ostomy supplies covered by and insured through your medical insurance. Then having proper storage for your supplies in your home. When it becomes permanent then life has to be more permanent when your health takes on different necessities and cares that you cannot go without at all...if i I think of anything else ill write some more here...😊
Hi my fraternal twin sister Helena has one she recently had her colon out 😮 she is doing ok getting stronger 💪 everyday
HI MAGGIE AND ZAC. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SPEECHING ENGAGEMENTS. YOU WILL DO WELL. I THINK IT WOUKS BE INTERESTING TO KNOW HOW TO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT HAVING AN OSTOMY. LIKE HOW WOULD I BRING UP THAT I HAD ONE?
Safe travels Katie.
I think you’ll do great, Maggie. I have IBD but I don’t have an asked me yet and I hope I don’t have to need one.
I think that the most important thing that you can tell people is that you are more than your medical condition or your ass to me or your stoma.
Everybody has medical needs and that’s OK.
You’re more than your disease or condition. If a partner is not able to handle your IBD, and everything that comes with it, then they’re not the right fit anyway.
If you’re not comfortable discussing your IBD with your partner, then there’s definitely something wrong. Obviously it’s not something you have to discuss on your first date, but if it doesn’t come naturally, in the conversation, then somethings up.
Hi Maggie, always happy to help. I'm having my major surgery on Thursday 21st September 2023 and I'm really feeling so anxious, very nervous and scared. I've always been very shy and reserved and I'm feeling especially concerned about my future relationships as I am a strong believer in Christian values and believe in a family atmosphere with children around the table. I am now so worried as I dread that after surgery, this will remain an unfulfilled desire. Sometimes I wonder why people, even those close to us, act so different when they know we have a stoma bag. It's almost as if they are embarassed or ashamed to be around me. I feel unclean and want to hide. I have spoken to my surgical team and expressed my concern. They said it can wait until after surgery, but I'm just wondering that why not resolve it before. The sexual organs are so close to those areas. I should have mentioned, I'm having a Total Proctectomy with a Barbie Butt. I have Crohn's and an ileostomy. God am I scared. I am so thankful that you are there to remind me that there are others like me with Crohns who have had the same surgery and what is happening afterwards. I am bleeding from around my stoma too and my butt end. I always wake up with a wet bottom drenched in blood and get so many leakages. My bed is a mess and I've soiled and discarded so many clothes. I can't share my problems with my parents. I feel all alone. No one is there to look after me. My parents are elderly with Dad in his early ninetees and Mom in her early eighties. So no one will care for me or visit me in the hospital. Please can you advise me on what to do? Many thanks, Maggie.
That's so sad,you shouldn't go this alone. I'm fortunate to have a wonderful husband and grown up children to support me and nothing has really changed for us other than I'm healthy now. We have traveled and lived so much more since my total Procolectomy due to UC , I've had a permanent end stoma for 22 years now and whilst there's been a hic up here and there, it's mostly been wonderful and life changing for both me and my husband and no more bleeding,pain,pads,messed up sheets etc. I get it,but you HAVE to talk about it,find a friend,a medic, someone to start a conversation with and it will get easier the more you talk. Seek out other Ostomates through your hospital perhaps? Please don't be ashamed and embarrassed as it's just poop and one way or another we ALL do it. You will find a special mate one day who won't give a hoot about how you go to the bathroom, they'll simply love you for who you are inside. Please,chin up,press on and look forward to a bright, healthy future. ❤ Bron from Sydney, Australia
Find a caseworker/social worker or a specialty WOC for ostomies and wound care, and he/she will become your best friend!
thank you so much. 🙂will find out.
Hi Maggie Zac and chat. As you know I don't usually comment but had to let you know. You got this Maggie... even if you just start out like you did in video and do a Q and A. Your vast experience and knowledge makes you a natural speaker. You been prepping ur entire life for this. Cant wait to watch you knock it out the park.
Maggie you are awesome nothing to be nervous about god is with you you are a very gifted person and blessed keep up the great work
People enjoy hearing how you met, how long did you wait to tell Zach?
I was 63 when I got my bag after the colon ruptured. The nurses work with you to explain how to take care of yourself , but they don't know the little things that you share with us. To be fair most have never lived with one.
Have a wonderful trip! Good luck at the Conference, you're going to kill it!
Good luck for the conference and just remember take a deep breath and smile, the rest will come from the heart 😊.
My wish for y'all is to have a wonderful time, nail the speech at the conference, and be safe on the road💜
You are so open with your health challenges. You have helped me so much.
That's hard to believe. I always thought Zach was the uncomfortable one in your videos. You got it Maggie.
I have a stoma after bladder removal because of cancer. I didn’t feel womanly after my surgery but it didn’t bother him he loves me what ever.
I was terrified of public speaking until I eventually realized that a lot of the people probably weren't paying attention. It might be different because that was in school, so people don't really want to be there and/or are nervous about their own turns and distracted, but that might help. The more people there are, the more likely some are tuned out.
I would be so self conscious about that the Ostomy would leak or if there would be an order. But I believe ppl who have an Ostomy can live a beneficial life.
Thank you for sharing. I think you will be just fine. Take care.
Oh my gosh u r so close to 100k
Some couples will like use the toilet in front of each other. I'm not like that with my partner - we share a bed but have separate bathrooms! - so it feels like ostomy is another thing that's kind of off-limits from our shared space. Are there times you NEED help with an ostomy that would force a partner to be more aware of it / perhaps even interact?
I heard you say "worry", "worried", "anxious", "concerned", "nervous" WAYYYY too many times for such a short video. Please take this comment with a grain of salt, but as a casual observer just passing through, I immediately noticed an aura of nervous energy around you.
I would encourage you to acknowledge that and seek to balance and fortify your mental and emotional state. It appears that you were in a Sympathetic Nervous System (fight or flight) state while making this video.
Maybe this is something you are already addressing, but in case you would like some suggestions, I would like to point your attention to a few things that I think could help and definitely couldn't hurt:
Yoga Nidra (a type of guided meditation, Tripura Mandala is my favorite on youtube)
B-Complex vitamins (very good for energy, mood, and nervous system)
Nasal Breathing (Patrick Mckeown's Oxygen Advantage on youtube)
Kefir and other cultured foods, specifically containing L. Reuteri beneficial bacteria species. Lifeway Kefir is great and available at most grocery stores.
Hope this wasn't offensive and actually helps! God bless you!
I dont have any questions. But i just wanted to say..i know what you mean about being nervous with a medical condition. When i was younger, i was more worried about my my medical condition then using my virginity. When i was younger
One big thing that needs to be talked about is SEX. Every ones stoma is big, small, medium. You get the point.
How far into a courtship would one mention to another about one's ostomy is my question n if rejected over this how long should one grief? Good job Maggie!
I have a colostomy and a urostomy and had my rectum and anus removed. Being a bit older than you, ok, happy to be grey and over 60… but I have problems with wearing dresses. I need to support the bags and due to multiple obstructions and 7 abdominal surgeries, my colostomy side sticks out over an inch more. Due to placement, I cannot wear a belt. I must also mention flying…in 2021 I flew from Baltimore to San Jose. They took my cane, (L2 incomplete paraplegic) and had my undue my pants so they could swab each bag. I have also been asked to stow my urostomy drain bag in the above compartment. Somehow I don’t think my urine will flow up to the compartment. I will not fly anymore.
I’m sorry you went thru that. It’s not right.
Hi there thank you for sharing all this.
But where is this conference at? I didn’t know they existed
I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease about 8 years ago and had surgery 3 years ago so I’ve had an ostmy bag since then. And yes feels nice to know your alone and others are going through things that your also going through ❤❤❤❤❤❤ and I had a boyfriend when I had surgery but I felt so unworthy and adjusting to my new life has been hard so I’m single and too scared to date 😢
What do you wish your partner would have known or done during your recovery?
Glad you r ok to a nd s t ay stro n g and healthy ❤
You just said what you should say.
Please be totally honest and dont sugar coat it in any way that would be so helpful.
Intimacy; telling a potential new partner about having a stoma. I am 5 months post-op and am almost resigned to being single for the rest of my life 😢.
Don’t give up. If the people on My 600 Lb Life can find someone, than anyone can. I’m sure you have a lot of good qualities. Focus on showing those and people will be drawn to you.
@@willaerley7140 Omg...excellent point. I, myself, have become more accepting of it much quicker than I thought I would. I suppose someone else could too. Thanks for the encouraging words. 😀
I would bet if you met a very nice man you would not care if HE had an osteomyelitis??? Right??
I think osteomyelitis is infection of the bone.
@@garsu1229 No...I wouldn't care if someone had a stoma and colostomy bag. But I often think women think very differently. I guess this would definitely show if someone is truly interested in me for me.
Say what you talked about here for a beginning.
💛💛💛
🌼
Being the big spoon