Amazing video! I have always wondered this as an autistic woman who never knew why I cannot have cis female friends. I specify cis because I have really amazing trans women friends that I love dearly! So it's definitely a socialization issue in my personal opinion! One critique about the editing. In a section of it when there was music, the music was loud and i could barely make out what you were saying. I tend to listen to YT vids as I work so I missed that entire bit. 😢
Thanks for the comment! Also, I think I set the music too high and my audio files too low unfortunately. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I will try to make my audio louder next time.
I can't stand the whole "pick me girl" thing. I've been hearing it occasionally as an insult for at least a couple years. Which is completely ridiculous, because I've been exactly like this since I was four years old, and no one had even had the idea of a "pick me girl" in 1986. I also don't understand what the big deal is about almost all my friends being men, that's been true since I was four as well. I'm 42 now, and I have one woman who is my friend (I had one years before her but we lost touch), I met her four years ago, and she just has a beautiful heart, and never expects things from me that I don't know how to give. My best friend is a guy though, and almost all his friends are women, and nobody bats an eyelash about that, only that all my friends are men, it feels pretty misogynistic honestly 🙄
@@emilala9049 I think there is a big difference between a woman happening to mainly get along with or mainly be friends with men, and a woman who puts down women at any given opportunity. It's like the chicken and the egg, which came first? Does she have little female friends because she puts down women? Or does she put down women because she can't seem to make female friends no matter what, neurodivergence or not? It's rarely black and white, and I'm happy you brought up the nuance about this. Thanks for the comment!
I don't have a hard time getting along with neurotypical women. I've always made a point of being kind, considerate, welcoming, and generous toward other women. It is THEY who do not get along with me. It is THEY who make a point of keeping me at arm's length, often I think because they can sense my autism but interpret it as something off-putting. I'm not like other girls, but only because my entire life the other girls have designated me as "the other", the one who is "not like us" and they would always treat me accordingly.
It's a researched thing that NTs can detect autism within seconds of interacting with us, even if they don't realize it's autism. We give an "uncanny valley." It makes them uncomfortable and then they mistreat us. I think, like you said, this is a big contributor to conflict between NT women and ND women. Women are socialized to be on the alert for threats and danger which, in a world where there is plenty of danger for women, is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can lead to singling out autistic women when they fail to conform to social rules/norms.
@@AstroWinter931 Yeah, the findings from those "thin slice" studies are wild reading. I could cope a lot better with being othered and alone if that was all there was to it. But no, they've got to add literal insult to literal injury by mocking and blaming us for the results of *their* treatment of us. So they label us pick-me's, as if we wouldn't give anything to be like the other girls.
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Nice video, though I'd lower the music it's hard to hear you sometimes
Thank you! And I will try to make it less noticeable for future videos.
Amazing video! I have always wondered this as an autistic woman who never knew why I cannot have cis female friends. I specify cis because I have really amazing trans women friends that I love dearly! So it's definitely a socialization issue in my personal opinion!
One critique about the editing. In a section of it when there was music, the music was loud and i could barely make out what you were saying. I tend to listen to YT vids as I work so I missed that entire bit. 😢
Thanks for the comment! Also, I think I set the music too high and my audio files too low unfortunately. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. I will try to make my audio louder next time.
pick-me girls secretly having autism was not on my bingo card this year but oh well
😂
I can't stand the whole "pick me girl" thing. I've been hearing it occasionally as an insult for at least a couple years. Which is completely ridiculous, because I've been exactly like this since I was four years old, and no one had even had the idea of a "pick me girl" in 1986. I also don't understand what the big deal is about almost all my friends being men, that's been true since I was four as well. I'm 42 now, and I have one woman who is my friend (I had one years before her but we lost touch), I met her four years ago, and she just has a beautiful heart, and never expects things from me that I don't know how to give. My best friend is a guy though, and almost all his friends are women, and nobody bats an eyelash about that, only that all my friends are men, it feels pretty misogynistic honestly 🙄
@@emilala9049 I think there is a big difference between a woman happening to mainly get along with or mainly be friends with men, and a woman who puts down women at any given opportunity. It's like the chicken and the egg, which came first? Does she have little female friends because she puts down women? Or does she put down women because she can't seem to make female friends no matter what, neurodivergence or not? It's rarely black and white, and I'm happy you brought up the nuance about this. Thanks for the comment!
I've never met an autistic girl, but I think I'd like to.
I don't have a hard time getting along with neurotypical women. I've always made a point of being kind, considerate, welcoming, and generous toward other women. It is THEY who do not get along with me. It is THEY who make a point of keeping me at arm's length, often I think because they can sense my autism but interpret it as something off-putting. I'm not like other girls, but only because my entire life the other girls have designated me as "the other", the one who is "not like us" and they would always treat me accordingly.
It's a researched thing that NTs can detect autism within seconds of interacting with us, even if they don't realize it's autism. We give an "uncanny valley." It makes them uncomfortable and then they mistreat us. I think, like you said, this is a big contributor to conflict between NT women and ND women. Women are socialized to be on the alert for threats and danger which, in a world where there is plenty of danger for women, is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can lead to singling out autistic women when they fail to conform to social rules/norms.
@@AstroWinter931 Yeah, the findings from those "thin slice" studies are wild reading.
I could cope a lot better with being othered and alone if that was all there was to it. But no, they've got to add literal insult to literal injury by mocking and blaming us for the results of *their* treatment of us. So they label us pick-me's, as if we wouldn't give anything to be like the other girls.