Hi, I just wanted to take a minute to say how brave and amazing this video is. I'm a cis gender, bisexual women. I was too raised in a Christian faith although very different experience to you, I'm over in England, our vicar has her pride colours one (I'm actually surprised she didn't dye her hair too). And has well wishes and open to marriage within the church. So even though I was raised within the church my experiences are different, I do love that you are doing what I see as one of the most important things which is treating others as you what to be treated, with kindness and compassion. Thou shall not throw the first stone and as long as you are there not judging, not harming and you are being a good friend its a good thing. Also as you said yourself you were listening to authority figures before, that's normal. It takes time for us to start questioning and analysing context. Taking to time to learn and do as you did by watching these videos is amazing, especially since it was emotionally challenging and far more than most would come close too. I don't know most of you, in fact this is he first I've seen of your feed (sorry I'm a core instagramer, is it feed here too hmmmm.... I think I'll get that the term right one day 😊) any way, the way you have done all of this says so much about your character, and I for one want to thank you. Keep searching for answers and being this amazing person ❤️
Thank you Jo for this honest deconstruction of your old beliefs. This shows amazing growth and self reflection and hopefully inspires so many others to do the same!
I try to be understanding of people, even if i don't get it myself. With that said, i have gay friends, and i can't believe the things they hear on a daily basis. We are all different...we should embrace those differences. After all, it would be a very boring life if we were all the same. Spread the love, stop the hate❤
As a woman who frequently gets misidentified as male because I'm tall, broad shouldered and large boned, I feel for anybody, trans or not, who gets gender misidentified. I was born a woman and continue to identify as female, but knowing you're a woman, or man, and having someone tell you, you are in the wrong bathroom, or freaking out and calling for security to remove you because they saw your big, wide feet under the stall door, is humiliating and hurtful on level that it's difficult to understand. I've stood in checkout lanes and have had cashiers of both sexes refer to me as Sir, despite my wearing a 38D bra size. Please everybody, if you can't tell, use a gender neutral term!
I feel ya, sometimes I wonder if I need to do more feminine things to make myself look more like a female, I am a biological female...it makes it awkward. I'm unfortunately used it now
I want to express sympathy for everyone whose beautiful body has lead to people assuming & saying hurtful things to them, no matter how they identify. We humans need to be less judgmental & more accepting when it comes to non-threatening individuals who just happen to be different from us.
@@starrywizdom Mind the phrase "non-threatening individuals". This person was relating how she has been hurt and humiliated by people making assumptions about her "threat level" while she was using the toilet in a locked stall. I'm sure you were referring to actual sexual or trafficking predators, but if so, please use those terms. "Non-threatening individuals" is very much subjective and has a soft feel to it that sounds acceptable, but it could EASILY be used to justify transphobia. All you have to do is say "But trans people ARE threatening, I feel threatened" and boom, you've validated transphobia with that phrase and JK Rowling would nod her approval. I'm not giving you shit, just pointing out that on topics such as this, you HAVE to be mindful about the words you choose. I understand that's probably precisely what you were doing, but if I ever miss the mark, I appreciate someone pointing it out. Since none of us are here to cause anybody harm. Much love.
When my son came out as trans, I was confused, and didn't understand...I'm a product of the 80's so you can imagine the trans stereotypes I grew up with. I accepted him fully, but wanted to learn more. And you hit the key thing us cishet folks need to do around the 10 minute mark...LISTEN. I found Trans Twitter and met many trans men and women, heard many stories, made many friends, and while I can't know what being trans feels like, I have some sort of understanding. And very spot on about how you don't have to experience something to still support and believe. I view this as akin to Feminism. I am not a woman, but I can listen to you, respect you and support you, even if I will never know what it's like to be a woman. I will stand with you against misogyny. as one of my friends says "Lead with Love"
I'm really glad to hear that you are so willing to listen and learn. A trans person being rejected by their birth family doubles their suicide risk to 10.5 percent. If you'd like another resource to leave from, I'd like to suggest my ongoing series on my channel. It's an educational series in five parts about trans people and the science behind their journeys and identities.
Bless you for standing by your kid! The world needs more loving and accepting parents. I'm blessed by mother was also loving and accepting of my coming out. (apparently she was relieved, and saw that shit coming- she wanted me to come to the conclusion on my own rather than her.) There should be a "Cool Allied Parents Club" for folks with LGBT kids. 🤔
as a lesbian this made me both cry and think.. ive never heard someone talk about their ex homophobia and its a weird experience. I love you so much jo, you have helped me through a lot and I very much appreciate your ally-ship.
I was homophobic for the 1st 16 years of my life until I realized I was a lesbian. Almost everyone was homophobic back in the day! But it takes so much courage to talk about that. I am impressed and honored by Joe's video. And as a disability rights activist she's a total role model of mine!
@@nikkij4873 "Almost everyone was homophobic back in the day" Not really and it doesn't make it alright. I respect that your perspective might be different to mine but that comment is just so much nope I couldn't not comment on it. - a bisexual non-binary pal
@@boglenight1551 34 year old here. Sorry to burst your bubble. But it's true. OUR generation fought for you to be "nonbinary." We used to get beat up for stuff like that. Sorry to reality check you.
@@nikkij4873 I'm a 39 year old lesbian and you are wrong when you say "Almost everyone was homophobic back in the day". It depends on the community you grew up in. In high school a lot of my friend group was LGBTQ+ and no we didn't get beat up for it. I also had a family friend at the time who was in their 50s and trans. They were openly accepted by my parents and most of their friend group. There's definitely been a lot of progress in the following years but no, not everyone was homophobic and judgmental even back then.
We need more people like you willing to admit that you were in the wrong not supporting everyone but you are so much more accepting now and I love that for you!! Happy pride month everyone, stay safe, stay prideful
Yes but it’s hard for people with a little bit of Influence to admit it just for the fact that people are willing to cancel anyone for anything I’m not saying their fans but the people who don’t understand and wanna listen also happy pride month
@@TheLateNightReactor that is very true but they should tell their fans and if they dont like it they should unfollow the person but most of the time people are too entitled to thier own opinions that they won't change for anything so I was just glad to see her say that she's changed
@@theygottaluvmaze I mean everyone is entitled to there opinion well at least for what I know in the US but I understand what u mean I say if u don’t believe in the homosexual trans thing don’t be a asshole about it at least if you have a opinion that’s fine just don’t expect everyone to have the same opinion as u do if that makes sense
@@theygottaluvmaze and for god sake don’t use religious or god into it because it doesn’t help it makes them look bad especially the ones that actually don’t care if they are homosexual or not
@@TheLateNightReactor yes respect everyone and their opinions at least and I wasn't going to I'm Christian- and I'm apart of the lgbtq I wasn't gonna say anything about god
Paul and Morgan are confused by anything that doesn't exist in their immediate bubble. And it's so sad because Morgan didn't used to be like that. She used to be a free and independent woman whose natural musical talent brought her happiness but Paul broke that part of her down and squashed it.
@@Black-Swan-007 and she seems always angry, see how she yells at the camera. If she was at peace, if she'd found her truth then she wouldn't need to raise her voice against no one
This means so much to me, Jo. I have felt so much shame and anxiety in my past around my sexuality and gender identities because of evangelical christianity. And to hear from someone who is willing to admit their mistakes and has changed means the world to me.
One of my friends believes in God and used to be really homophobic. He said he thinks maybe God saw him being judgemental and sent him his 2 best friends (me - an atheist lesbian, and a gay man)
This reminds me of one of my best friends. She used to be really queerphobic back when we were 15, but now she’s one of the most accepting people I know and has also realised she’s asexual.
As a queer person, this was an interesting video to watch because often we struggle with the same things when coming out, just on a much more personal level! Realizing who I really am was a process that included a lot of confusion and youtube has definitely helped me learn about myself. Which is why I would have loved it if you had included the names and channels of some LGBTQ+ creators you watch or learned from so that people who come out of this video wanting to learn have an easier time starting. Most likely, if they come here they already trust you and it would probably help them a lot to have a trusted creator show them where they can start!
Yeah this video made me a bit uncomfortable like... it felt a bit awkward to be told these things and as good as it is for Jo to own up to her mistakes, this is pride month, so if you're taking the time to talk about a related topic when you're not even queer yourself, at least, make sure to shout out to the appropriate people and allow the queer community to benefit somehow.
I do think it’s important that she made this video, there are so many people who refuse to even consider learning and changing and this might help people to consider it.
@@melissacoviello2886 It is important, and the video feels genuine so I don't think there was any intention behind it. But having a video of this kind, with so many ads in it, I would expect in the minimum that she would amplify the voice of other creators. A fund-raise would be even better. It just comes across as a little tone-deaf. Like I said, I don't think it was intentional, but it's something that could be improved in the future
@@grilodonilo621 yeah that's a great idea And, like just having the money made from this video go to charities that support lgbtq people would've made a huge difference
I'm sad to see a few people defending or holding on to their own bigotry in these comments. Particularly the transphobia. However they're severely outweighed by the positive comments and people speaking about their own growth and journeys. They're heartwarming to read and thank you Jo for creating such a positive environment on your channel. Love your content.
@@SG-zp4fz wtf? What is your point? Also, no, I'm not 12. I won't assume your age, but I will say that your mental age is about 8 if this is how you act
This is one reason why I think it's unfair to pull someone's tweets from years ago and then call them out as racist/homophobic/etc. You don't know the kind of growing they've done in that time.
Yeah but if they've done enough growing/learning though hopefully they've already made some sort of comment/video/apology owning up to their mistake? Or else how do we know they've changed? Edit: cause it's one thing to have said horrible shit in the past but if you never acknowledge it and become vocal about now believing otherwise, you're a rather weak ally.
@@safeforwork8546 well I tend to remember the messed up things I said cause deep down even then I knew it was wrong. But yeah I guess people who said horrible shit and were very much convinced in those horrible opinions might not have formed any memory about it. Oh and I guess there's also people who said so many horrible shit they can't keep track... but then again, they could still make a general statement about how their opinions have changed since without using a specific tweet they're apologising for. Edit: Since it's apparently not obvious, I want to specify that I think people should apologise for "public and damaging behaviors". Not only tweets and other social media posts/comments are included but it could things you've said, opinions/ideas you've spread that were damaging, etc...
People do this with Colleen Ballinger a lot and it's so frustrating. She's spoken up often about issues of injustice and has acknowledged her past. She grew up super Christan. She went to a Christan college and had to do a lot of self reflection and unlearn what had been taught to her. She's learn and grown and people want to act like she's the same kind of person she was 10 years ago.
It's really refreshing, as a trans guy, to hear people speak about the growth they've had as a person. I had a couple family members that were also judgemental in a similar way, but watching me grow and change and improve as I transitioned somehow changed them. I went from actively contemplating suicide, daily mental breakdowns, psychiatric overnight stays, to suddenly- a very successful student and artist. Suddenly, my pathetic depressed facade became the real me; collegiate honor society, I stopped looking in the mirror and hating what looked back. I'm just me. This is prime example of why grabbing old posts from many years ago, and destroying a person after they've come to terms with their own demons, and have grown and changed their opinion is a fucking shitty, horrible thing to do. Just because someone starts one way, doesn't mean that person is not open to change and growth later on. It's okay to accept being wrong, and willingly changing your opinion when presented with new ideas and logic.
As a queer trans person that was raised in a conservative, catholic household, it took me a while to unlearn the judgements I was taught growing up and even longer to recognize myself as who I am. Happy Pride and cheers to growth 🌈🎉 Edit: oof was not ready for that transphobia from the Christian couple 😬😭
A true Christian wouldn't say 1/10th of 1% of what people claiming to be Christians say (and that's about many different subjects). You are perfect the way you are. Whenever a "Christian" comes at you sideways about how you live your life, remember *they* are confused about what Jesus stood for and believed.🏳️🌈
I am always so overwhelmed by the strength of queer and trans people who were raised in this way. The amount of courage it must take to examine and accept your sexuality and gender identity in that environment absolutely floors me. You're an absolute superstar, the world and the community is so blessed to have you in it! Happy pride!!
@@painwarriorprincess5120 Yes. They say that Jesus came to us to take our sin and save us *ALL*. the bible literally says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." and "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." the bible and Jesus clearly promote acceptance for all, regardless of opinion.
I think releasing this video during pride month is the exactly right thing to do. If you look at the origin of pride, it's all about LGBTQ+ rights and fighting against discrimination. And I think you are helping to do this by sharing this experience. Not many people would be brave enough to admit this knowing it could cause a shitstorm. Also pride isn't just a big gay party. Straight cis allies are always welcome to contribute.
Wow. As a bisexual woman who has faced discrimination talked about in this video, thank you for this. Although it was sad to hear the news about what you've done in your past, it is also very admirable to see you own up to your mistakes, learn from them, and genuinely apologize for it. Really gives me hope that not all people stuck in your previous mindset will be stuck there forever. That one day they will educate themselves like you have done and recognize how hurtful and wrong their actions are when it comes to LGBTQ+ discrimination. Happy Pride Jo 💗🏳️🌈
I wish I could be so forgiving. I thought all my life I was bi and had relations almost exclusively with man. Last year I realized I was actually a raging lesbian. I am 42. Talking about comphet right? I was raised in homophobic environment and totally internalized it. And my family isn't actually Christian they just believe in "something bigger" 😏 I am still not out btw. Just two of my siblings know.
It’s use to break my heart when somebody called me wayward, lost or “in a phase”. I’m a black, bisexual woman , who also loves God. I was a born into a COGIC family (Protestant), so being anything other than “straight” was frowned upon. If me being me , stops me from going to heaven one day…it’s just something I’ll have to account for on Judgement Day.
@@pltatman1 There are many interpretations and doctrines of god and christianity, nothing's set in stone, and some of them take god for what it means in it's truest form, love and charity, and accept LGBT+ people just fine.
I'm so glad you said you don't have to fully understand something to respect a person! Even as a member of the queer community myself I don't understand certain labels, but it would be hypocritical of me to just reject someone because "I don't get it." The best thing we can do is educate ourselves and be kind.
From a MtF Trans woman I would like to say thank you for opening your mind and trying to understand us. I grew up in catholic church so i understand the indoctrination. And thank you for being an Aly.
I came out to my Best friend growing up whom was born a woman and still is. She said she wasn't surprised and kinda figured i was, as whenever she would come over we would play with dolls. I knew from about age 8 i was different.
@@cqllel5186 Are you actually asking a genuine question? I may have gotten the wrong person, but I just saw you ranting about how trans people are apperently bullying everyone else, and to go from that to genuine questions in such a short amount of time does not sound so good and genuine in my mind.
@@zapazap Because homophobia can be quite heart-breaking, especially from someone you thought you knew. And because sometimes empathising with homophobes leads to internalised homophobia.
@@JuMixBoox Thank you. That helps me understand. May I ask if you advise against people exercising empathy with homophobes? (Which I take to mean: empathizing with a person who happens to be homophobic?)
I was raised in a very white church with a lot of the same ideals. I remember being in the car with three other girls and when the song “same love” came on they said the song was gross and changed the channel. My sister’s friend was kicked out of her home group in middle school for coming out as gay. It was so hard to accept myself as bi and even now I struggle. I’m glad you’ve changed but I remember the thing that hurt the most is that these people were my friends and I felt like I could never be myself. Sending love, thanks for the upload
Where you are on the LGBT+ spectrum does NOTHING to detract from your worth as a person. EVER! You are completely valid and anyone who treats you otherwise is wrong. You are no less deserving of love, dignity, etc. than ANY straight/cis person. ❤️💙💜🖤💛💚 🏳️🌈
I used to believe all this in my first 10 years as a Christian - and applied it all to myself, which in addition to conversion therapy - which I now recognise it as being - it turned me in to a self-hating, self-destructive mess. It's taken a long time to get to the place where I can say that I am gay, a Christian, and I have peace. Thank you for sharing this - it needs to be heard more.
H0m0 isn't a s3xu4l1ty. It's a f3ti5h. Quit the p0.rn and the feelings will go away. "H3t3ro53xu4l1ty" is natural law. Nobody is born g4y. It's purely environmentally caused
Im a Christian woman, I find men attractive but wouldn’t be against dating a woman : ) Im not Trans but my closest three friends are, and I’ve seen the pain they go through with discrimination I felt in my heart and my gut, that it was right to stick by them and love them no matter what! 💕💕💕 Today I can’t imagine how miserable I’d be without them they are incredible people
As a gay woman who spent a decent amount of my education at catholic schools, it was definitely implied that it wasn’t normal or okay. I had to end a friendship because she could not accept that part of me. I hope one day she will be willing to learn and listen like you have. Jo, thank you for taking the time to listen, learn and grow. That’s all I could ever ask for. ❤️ ✨🌈
What gets me is: why do people feel the need to judge someone on something that does not effect them, or hurt them? Being, Trans, Gay, Bi, Pan or A Sexual or using non gender assigned pronouns does not “hurt” them the person it applies to or anyone around them that they associate or come into contact with. I’m a Pagan who may or may not be Asexual, (still on the road of self discovery) and I am firm believer in: “do what ye will, in it harm none.”
I think humans feel threatened by whatever they don't understand. So anything that can make a person seem different than what we're used to (race, gender, sexuality, being neurodivergent, disabilites etc.) feels threatening because we feel like we don't understand these things and therefore they can cause harm to the things we love and want to protect. I think when we hate someone/something, it's because that thing is a perceived threat to what we love.
I believe that they genuinely want to "save" people from eternal damnation because they were raised to believe that that was the destiny that every sinner faces, when instead it's not for them to judge.
The thing with "Christian Love" trying to "help" LGBTQIA+ people to stop them going to hell, it's STILL about the xtian's ability to "save" them, not about the LGBTQIA+ person!
I remember during that big skeptic period on TH-cam, my ex who was trans had these very strong feelings on how non-binary people, people who use neopronouns and people who didn’t experience severe dysphoria weren’t valid. That they were damaging to the community because they made more binary trans people or people who defined their identity by their dysphoria less valid to others. So I guess at the time, the reason why I felt the need to judge people on that was out of this fear that it might be harmful. Sometimes it takes knowing that thinking that way can also be quite harmful. That it’s harmful to define your identity purely off of pain. That it’s harmful invalidate those who don’t strongly connect with any gender. That it’s harmful for those who struggle to identify their gender.
Firstly, I really, really appreciate you posting this. It's an incredibly brave thing to do. Secondly, honestly in the grand scheme of things you're quite ahead of the curve. You're basically where my mum is now. She identified as a fundamentalist Christian for a large chunk of my life (UK based, so a little different from the American brands of Conservative Christianity) and a lot of my upbringing as a result was saturated with this "love the sinner, hate the sin" kind of vibe. I remember going to a Christian camp where an older, "same-sex attracted" man spoke about how there was no real way around being queer and pure in God's eyes than pure abstinence. I think that was a turning point for her - seeing me so scared that this would mean I wouldn't be able to find and feel love in the same way as her. Over those years, I bit the bullet and cycled through a couple of identities before settling as a bisexual trans man at 15. And through those years she read A Lot about queer experience. She particularly used resources from the charity Mermaids. It also helped that she had a degree in Biblical Studies and a close friend from university working as a queer-friendly Baptist reverend in London, so she had a lot of theological resources to hand to learn about the origins of Christianised homophobia and how that's by no means a good reading of the Bible. I'm 21 now, 3 years on T with an amazing relationship with her. She's on my hometown's Pride committee, always reading and learning. But she was over 30 years old before starting this process - far older than you are now. There is no time like the present. As for the friends you lost, I am so sorry. My community has a suicide attempt rate of just over 40%, so it is far from uncommon. While it's true that there were better ways for you to support them at that time, the blame really rests on the hegemonic transphobia that surrounded you and them. Blaming an individual for what is a societal problem that harms everyone within it isn't a productive way to make the world a better place. You tried your best with the tools you had at the time - I just wish that those around you gave you better tools to help them
Jo, I don't know if you are aware of how very much important this video by a straight person who used to be homophobic is for a member of the community like me. To this day, there are people discriminated, hurt physically and mentally, getting thrown out if their home by their own parents, get arrested, murdered, and even committing suicide. If this video is helping just one person thinking about what they are doing it will make the world a better place. Thank you so very much for this important message. I'm sorry for the mistakes I eventually made, English is not my first language.
Late reply, but I just wanted to say that your English is fine for most unprofessional use. Of course there are mistakes and oddly phrased sentences, but you are perfectly understandable. You're far better at speaking English than I'll ever be at speaking Spanish, despite me learning it for 2 years and Spanish being probably the closest language to English.
@@williandalsoto806 based is what people who aren't afraid of the concept of "woke" use instead of the word woke. It's defiance of accepted norms in pursuit of a greater truth and a better world.
@@cqllel5186 at no point in that meandering, ham-fisted attempt at a rebuttal did you remotely approach anything vaguely resembling a cogent point. Everyone who stumbles across this will inevitably find themselves slightly dumber for having been exposed to it. I award you zero points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
A trigger warning for mentions of suicide wouldn't have been a bad idea. Speaking as a trans woman who has been suicidal, the end of your first story about your friend hit like a gut punch
I just came out this past week and have lost so many of my followers who I considered family and friends. I hate that in 2021 we live in such a world of hate.
So sorry for that. I know its probably no comfort but its better they have gone because you are being yourself and can gain new followers who understand and you may even help with your story. This is just the begining of your journey. Good luck
I'm so glad you were able to realise that "hey, I might be incorrect on this, let me look into it further" and not digging yourself even further into a hole telling yourself that everyone else is incorrect, you're right, people need to get over themselves. It shows real maturity. Not all people do that. I'm really lucky to have grown up with queer people around me my entire life, which meant that I was comfortable enough to accept myself as trans, and not have to fully mask that part of my identity. I'm also really glad that I have parents who let me wear what I wanted, cut my hair how I wanted and play with the toys I wanted even at a really young age. Unfortunately, the pronoun and name change-deal has been less of a success, but I'm working on it. Thank you, Jo.
As a bi woman, I greatly appreciate your growth and genuine honesty. So many friends, family and subscribers can learn tremendously from this beautiful video. I grew up with a younger sister that struggled deeply with me dating a woman, due her fundamental religious beliefs. Fortunately, we have both matured greatly, and now are closer than ever and she truly loves my partner. Thank you dearly for taking the time to make this extremely valuable video. I'm sure it will definitely impact a friend or family member that will listen to your advice and hopefully it will soften their heart towards our community. Most importantly, being in the LGBT+ community is just a very small part of whom we are, we are made up of so much more. Lastly, if you are reading this and are struggling regarding coming out, find a compassionate person and just do it...you will forever lead a much more authentic life as a result of getting this off your chest. You are valued and have a meaningful purpose in this life, don't let anyone dim your light....ever!!!
As a queer teen (lesbian) this was so amazing to hear. I’ve never faced direct discrimination, mostly because the only time I’ve been out I was online, but I’m scared for next year because my first day of school shirt is a queer one. But this was so cool to see, and I hope someday everyone can accept us, so thank you for telling us your story Jo.
As a Christian, I'm a proud ally of the LGBTQ community💞. I have many Trans and gay friends, and I will stand arm in arm with them for anything if they called on me. There are still many gender identities I don't understand, but that will never mean I'll judge someone if they were to tell me they a part of one of those. I mean, I'm still trying to figure my own identity out at the age of 50! I know I'm cis, but who am I really?
Exactly. As long as they are a nice person I don’t care about anything else about them. Be who you want to be and everyone should accept you for that 😌👌🏻
@@Josephiah24 I respect your deeply held beliefs. However, I would like to very respectfully suggest that you go fornicate with a blender, you hateful little creature. Who are you to call anyone else a sinner? Judge not lest ye be judged…Let he who is without sin… Stop using a religious text to justify your discomfort/disgust with people who aren’t like you. Grow the hell up, or at least keep your nonsense to yourself.
Thank you for being honest. I really think this could help a lot of people. I’m really proud of you for realizing the bias you had and continued researching and not bailing the moment it became uncomfortable.
I have shivers. THANK YOU for being so honest and open about your experiences. You are a bright light in these stressful times. Thank you for accepting others as they are, and thank you for admitting when you needed to change. Thinking of you :)
thank you for growing into a better person Joe! so many people indoctrined by the church never see that they are doing harm. knowing I can safe here as a queer disabled person makes me feel even better supporting your channel.
It does not matter how you were. That is meaningless. You have come to know the truth, and are a wholesome person now. That is what matters. Happy pride Jo!
Thank you for this. This is exactly what I needed to hear this pride month. My parents were not supportive of me being bi when I was growing up and it was traumatic. Thanks for voicing your growth
Thanks for boosting my faith in humanity. I want to believe that people who see identities other than theirs as "invalid" or "wrong" can learn that other people's identities don't affect them & they can just accept them.
Happy pride month everyone! 🌈 Just goes to show that people really are capable of learning, growing and changing for the better🥰 hopefully some other people can learn from your story ❤️ love your channel Jo! 💕
I am a 34 year old asexual lesbian. I only came out as asexual last year because I was so confused and ashamed of myself. What you were feeling about lgbt is actually something I often thought about myself. I thought I was abnormal and just needed to act normal and I'd start to feel normal. I found coming out as gay has been hard, but a million times easier than being asexual. That's still ignored and very misunderstood. If anyone has any asexual friends, be kind! 😊😊 Thank you for the video 🖤🤍 💜
Blows my mind that They/Them is harder to remember than She/He. It's really not that tough to show someone enough respect to recognize them properly, not even a little confusing IMHO. Thanks for the video and your willingness to admit your faults.
@@chadfalardeau5396 it’s also so useful in a gender-indeterminate context. Like ‘A student should reread their essay at least once before they turn it in.”
@@archervine8064 it's been a recent thing, I accidentally misgendered someone in a comment and got so much flack that I rarely use gender pronouns even irl anymore. It was a simple typo
The way I explained it to a friend of mine who showed a little resistance stemming from confusion when I came out as non-binary was this: If you understood completely and perfectly, that would make you non-binary (or whatever other identity) too. With some things you can't possibly understand when you're not in that position. All you have to do is accept. Hearing you discuss your journey felt quite healing to me. I know a several people very close to me at different stages of their own similar journeys, and it's amazing to be able to hear someone who has come all the way through. It gives me so much optimism.
This was almost my exact same experience! It's incredible how certain and unshakable you can be in your beliefs your whole life, only to completely change your worldview in a short time
I’m glad you grew and are willing to admit your past mistakes. That takes guts. Being subjected to Paul and Morgan even once is one too many times for me lmao.
Aww, it’s so nice to hear people who have opened their mind to be kind. I am nonbinary and bisexual. It took me a long time to learn the words to explain who I am. And I was raised in a semi-conservative way. “Gay people are fine, but you aren’t one” kind of place! I’m so glad I am out, my life is so much better now! I am SO glad you are able to accept humans as they are, and you have decided to share this journey! 💜 love your work even more now!!
omg this is the first time i see someone who was told nearly word for word what i was told!! "if you ever meet a queer person, treat them like they're a normal person. but know that you aren't one because you have normal chromosomes"
I know this is an old video but: Good for you. Identifying that you have prejudices and that's wrong is... a lot harder than it looks. Admitting it is even harder. In my experience, being trans or queer is a lot like getting divorced. Lots of people who aren't even remotely "in the middle" of this relationship, in this case between a person and their own identity, feel like they have a lot of say and have a right to strong opinions about it. When I came out to my sister, she made a big deal about how it was hard for HER, how SHE couldn't handle it, and how I was so selfish for putting this on her. I don't remember what exactly I said at the time, but I do remember impressing upon her that who I am and what I am going through ISN'T ACTUALLY about HER; it's about me. And she can either be okay with that or not. And she just looked at me like she'd never thought about it like that before.
YES JO. People need to realize that there is grace and honor and intelligence in changing your mind and admitting past faults. this type of candor is so so valuable to encourage people to change
@Hai Hai Exactly. Their words didn’t mean much but their actions spoke volumes. The religion I was in spoke very poorly. Calling homosexual acts a sin, and how they were flawed. It’s caused a lot of abuse and loss of life over the years and I’m so glad and thankful I’m no longer in that environment.
I hate when religious people say that. Another common phrase they say is "we hate the sin not the sinner". But If I told them "I don't hate christians, I hate the Bible" they would take offense
@@pia_mater Itpd actually be "I don't hate the christians, I hate their religion". You hating god's word, which predates all of man's demonic religions, is not offensive. Merely disturbing. Watching the very thing we were warned about/against via prophecy come to reality
@@cqllel5186 “...god’s word which predates all of mans demonic religions...” The bible takes inspiration from earlier cultures and religions so how about you stfu and do some research on your own religion. And the whole “LGBTQ is unnatural” argument is incredibly idiotic and generally ignorant as homosexuality is common in the natural world. And what about a man kissing a man or a biological female identifying as a man inhumane?
Kudos to you. Great great message and video. . it seems rare to hear people admit they were uninformed, overly harsh and judgmental and unkind, , and that change and growth are worth it! Thank you!
Being a non binary person I never think it's a requirement to openly talk about your support for the lgbtq+ community but it means a lot every time someone talks about it! Thank you! 💜
Jo, as one half of a lesbian couple and longtime patron supporters of yours thank you for sharing your journey. One question I have always wondered is why do religious people feel the need to try to convert and interfere with anyone who is not straight? It always makes me laugh when I’ve been told “I’m going to hell” like that’s some kind of threat. As I’m an atheist as well as gay (shock horror, I know) how is something I don’t even believe in meant to scare me so much I will turn straight, leave my amazing wife and our very happy 15 year marriage? Honestly, I feel sorry for religious folk as they seem to live their lives in fear of doing wrong and spend their lives doing what’s expected of them instead of that makes them happy. I live a very law abiding and moralistic life (apart from the whole lady loving part 😉) and I didn’t learn any of that from a book or someone preaching to me but from my parents who raised us kids to be kind, polite and respectful to ourselves and other people, animals and the environment. Thanks again Jo, great video and happy pride. You maybe not be part of the LGBTQ+ family but we would never turn you away for being supportive. ❤️
For someone who believes in hell, it is a very scary thing! Being tortured *forever*? And very often Christians believe that it is their responsibility to save other people from a fate that is so unimaginably horrible. If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that someone, even a stranger, was about to die in a horribly painful firey car wreck, wouldn't you go to great lengths to get them to change their behavior so that didn't happen? If approaching them with "love and kindness" didn't work, perhaps they would change something if they could just understand how much danger they were in! So I think that homophobic evangelical christians genuinely believe they are doing the most loving thing by being hateful
Even the somewhat accepting evangelical christians believe it is their calling to be a missionary (haha, pun fully intended) to anyone who does not believe *exactly* what they believe. Everyone else is 'only confused' about virtually everything: their faith, their calling, their sexuality, whatever. As such to prevent them from eternal damnation and torture in hell they have to do everything in their power to convert you. Trying to 'convert you back to a "normal" sexuality' is only part of their plan to change you into cookie-cutter copies of themselves. What they fail to understand is that by doing that they are personifying exactly the type of non-acceptance and hate that a real christian should not succumb to. Because the central position of the teachings of Jesus was to love your neighbor like yourselves. To love someone like yourself you first have to be able to love yourself. Once you succeed at that you also have to apply it to everyone else, no matter what their outlook on life. But those two steps are incredibly difficult for those types of evangelical christians to master, much less to understand. They are often so dyed in the wool old testament 'wrath and hellfire' believers that they completely missed out on the paradigm shift that happened later. So they fail to understand that hate is deeply frowned upon, and love in every shape or form is the only way to go. Which includes all the members of the LGBTQ+ community as well. Now imagine that someone is raised by the standards of 'believe what I say, not what I do, and don't think for yourself' of one authority figure preaching from a pulpit every Sunday. Suddenly hate of everything not according to their strict and essentially 19th century norms becomes becomes the new normal behavior for them. They suddenly believe that hate of everything not according to their own norms is the only way to go. Then you get the Westboro Church members on the streets shouting BS day in, day out. NOTE: I am NOT condoning this behavior or their beliefs, only voicing my interpretation of how such things happen. I personally have a few friends of nearly all groups of the LGBTQ+ community, though I am not certain about the Q group currently.
Jo, you are a courageous young woman to talk about a time when you weren’t as open as you are now. Admitting we have been doing harmful things and trying to change how we do things and the things we believe is a daunting thing to do. Your talking about your journey to change gives others a way to follow your lead. Take care and stay safe.
I really appreciate your honesty and bravery. I think that people often spend more time and energy trying to defend their existing beliefs then examining other beliefs weather they will change their beliefs or not.
Owning your mistakes shows how good of a person you actually are. Love your videos on how you manage with your amputation and seeing this video makes me enjoy you even more cause you a honest and willfully admit your mistakes.
As a trans person that was raised in a conservative christian kkkult and have at multiple times in my life been abandoned by everyone I know, thank you SO MUCH for making this video. It's hard for us sometime to realize that people CAN change. If more allies would talk about their path to deprogramming homo\transphobia instead of pretending they were always the ruler of Wokeville, we'd have even more potential allies following that path.
I know I'm like overly late to this entire conversation, but yesss As the child of emotionally abusive and immature parents who refuse to ever apologize for anything, thanks for admitting that you were wrong! As a society I think we're so scared to say we've done bad things/have thought harmful things and apologize for them because we're afraid of being villainized, so I appreciate that you're owning up to it so openly. It's always really cool to see that. I'm non-binary and the arguments around like, whether or not I'm confused about my gender, why can't I just pick one, etc etc, is so eyeroll-y to me. Non-binary folks aren't asking you to do anything other than refer to us the way that feels most true and comfortable to us, and I don't understand why we tend to view it as this huge undertaking to just refer to someone in a way that doesn't make them feel shitty. Getting misgendered is a lot more emotionally impactful than this example, but it's somewhat akin to your name being Nicholas and everyone calling you Nick when you prefer your whole name. What does it cost you to call that person Nicholas when they ask you to? What does it cost you to refer to me as they/them? The grammatical correctness thing is also hilarious because w h o c a r e s if it's grammatically correct or not? We don't follow grammar rules in conversations a lot of the time anyway, it's not like you're getting a grade at the end of every interaction. Doesn't my being a person matter more than sentence structure? Sorry 4 the rant, but this is a great video! Thanks for posting :)
I was born male, and lived as a boy and man until I was 40. In that time from age 15 to 40, I attempted suicide 5 times because being “me” was “sinful”. Now I am a post-op trans woman who is and always has been attracted to women. When I came out, my church kicked me out, and fired the pastor who supported me. Unfortunately, the Christian church has done and continues to do tremendous damage to the members of the LGBTQI communities. Since transitioning, I no longer want to die. Since suicide is a sin, since lying about who I am could be viewed as sinful, and I no longer want to end my life, I fail to understand how my transition could be evil. All of that said, the entire time I denied my true self and lived as a man, I was a devoted homophobe and transphobe.
Ah well I’m glad you know who you are now! Not only is changing bigotry, and admitting you were wrong tough, but then learning who you are is different is very hard. As a non-binary person, who never really spent time of my life (apart from maybe age six) homophobic or transphobic, I really appreciate people who can change, or who actually put in the effort. I’m honestly scrolling through comments, and just appreciating all the people who changed.
Lmnopq is HEAVILY linked with depression. The vast majority of people in it were abused as children and/or had absent parental figures. Highest 5u.1c1.d3 rates among adolescents. An inhumane, radical coping mechanism They act on fanaticism. They demand from us. They force their radical, inhumane ideals down our throats, completely inconsiderate of how we think/feel, forcing us into obedience/compliance, OR ELSE. They threaten our reputations/lives by punishing us via Cancel Culture or other forms of Censorship, wehn/if we speak/think out of line Itls self-glorification, narcissism, extreme prejudice/intolerance, and totalitarian. True PSYCHOPATHY. That what this entire community is
Ugh, “you’re confused.” I got that from someone who insisted they weren’t homophobic, but I really needed to date a cis boy to better understand my orientation.
When I go public with my transness there is not a single person I work with that will have my back. In fact they will actively work against me. I expect it but it will still make my life hell. But I will live my truth.
I've heard a lot of people join churches because the churches "have a good children's program" or "have a lot of young families." They're happy to buy into or overlook the fundamental flaws in an organization that excludes and persecutes others until it hits close to home for them. I pray that more people will realize that love and inclusion are higher authorities than the people who interpret religious doctrine. Thank you for making this video. I hope many will view and find encouragement
Thank you for owning up to this and sharing your path to growth as an empathetic, educated ally. Stories like this are an important part of showing folks why and how they should open their minds and hearts. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend as well. You're doing them justice now.
Jo, I’m twice your age and have been queer since the day I was born. I came of age in the decadent 70’s when closet doors were blowing open, liberation and equal rights were at our fingertips. Then, the 80’s, and all of the discrimination and hatred came pouring back in on the coattails of a terrifying virus that took so many from us. Then glimmers of hope again and huge victories, late 2000’s to the mid-2000-teens, and now a lot of hatred. Again. Sometimes it feels hopeless. I can’t begin to tell you how much older people like me cherish younger ones like you. Please know how much you’re loved, appreciated, and valued, Jo.
As a transwoman and a lesbian this really got to me. From the age of 3 all I ever remember hearing from my mother is how god hates people like me and that I will burn in hell. Now I am in my 50's, having HRT and loving myself so much more than I ever have. My mother wonders why she never hears from me, so do the rest of my family but I told them a couple of decades ago that if they can't accept me for who I am and apologize for all the harm they did to me (which did lead to multiple suicide attempts and being in the hospital a few times) then I want nothing more to do with them. I wish them no harm and hope that they are truly happy with their lives, I just don't want to be a part if it. So Jo, thank you. It's not the same as getting it from my family but your apology definitely got to me.
Thanks for being open to changing your perspective! Funny how, for me, the journey to becoming comfortable with being lgbtqia+ looks pretty similar to your journey of becoming an ally. We’ve all got history, sharing it helps! Happy pride, ally! 🏳️🌈
I absolutely adore how you've taken the time to talk about this. There are so many people who shy away from their mistakes and past beliefs, people who just will not acknowledge what they believed in and act like they always were good people. I believe that if more and more people start talking about their past beliefs and how they were able to learn and grow and become more accepting of people, that people still stuck in their closed-mindedness can open up! So happy this channel exists, and even happier this video exists!
Honestly, the whole life is confusing. I am so confused every day. I think this is important. If I'd ever get anything completely, I don't know what to do next. I am also Christian. I think this religion is about loving everyone without exception, because God does so. So LGBTQIA+ should not be loved any less.
We need more Christians reminding the phobes that Jesus' entire message was loving people and taking care of the vulnerable. That's it. Period. If he were around today, he'd be ridiculed as a commie.
@@kfallon862 Are you referring to me? I absolutely do support LGBTQIA+ people and I don't love them any less than anybody else. Sorry if this was ambiguous.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for listening to queer voices and not getting your information from someone like Ben Shapiro, who makes a career out of fearmongering and misinformation. I'm a queer trans woman who grew up in the Catholic church, so I VERY MUCH appreciated this video. I'm a new subscriber and this just made me want to stick around even more! It's nice to meet and learn about you Jo! Excited to see more from you.
I'm glad you pointed out that you never questioned it, because we ARE supposed to question. That's how we accomplish "know why you believe what you believe, so that when you are questioned, you will have an answer"
In my case, for a very long time I didn't have a reason to question. I was indoctrinated into religion as a child. Everyone I knew believed, so it seemed natural as breathing that I believed also. It wasn't until my early twenties that I encountered situations that forced me to question my beliefs.
Sometimes, surrounding yourself with the right people does wonders. I grew up in a very repressive, judgemental background and it definitely takes its toll.
My God… I saw you on YT shorts and already thought you were cool. This is beyond anything most people have done on this app. I’m so, SO proud of you! And hope you’re having an awesomely week
As a bi girl, these conversations are some of my favorite to hear and to have. I just love the complexity of any human and how they change and grow. Thank you for sharing your story. I know i cant speak for all bi girls but im going to lol. We appreciate you
Thank you Jo. I feel so much of this about SO MANY topics! I grew up in a rural area, in a family that didn't appreciate "other", big things like race and identity but also small things like clothing and hair color and living a bold life. I struggle with the fact that I have grown but my family members are still the same - it is difficult to have a relationship with them when we disagree on the incredibly fundamental concept that people have a right to exist as they are. My personal shame for hurtful thoughts and judgements about race, identify, beliefs I had still exists. But, it has made me work harder to continue to learn and listen and grow. Thank you for sharing, and for reminding me that growth is good.
![What No One Tells You About Divorce [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nzBmES3YWmk/mqdefault.jpg)
It takes a lot to admit you were wrong and grow as a person, I’m proud of you for that Jo
Hi, I just wanted to take a minute to say how brave and amazing this video is.
I'm a cis gender, bisexual women. I was too raised in a Christian faith although very different experience to you, I'm over in England, our vicar has her pride colours one (I'm actually surprised she didn't dye her hair too). And has well wishes and open to marriage within the church.
So even though I was raised within the church my experiences are different, I do love that you are doing what I see as one of the most important things which is treating others as you what to be treated, with kindness and compassion. Thou shall not throw the first stone and as long as you are there not judging, not harming and you are being a good friend its a good thing.
Also as you said yourself you were listening to authority figures before, that's normal. It takes time for us to start questioning and analysing context. Taking to time to learn and do as you did by watching these videos is amazing, especially since it was emotionally challenging and far more than most would come close too.
I don't know most of you, in fact this is he first I've seen of your feed (sorry I'm a core instagramer, is it feed here too hmmmm.... I think I'll get that the term right one day 😊) any way, the way you have done all of this says so much about your character, and I for one want to thank you. Keep searching for answers and being this amazing person ❤️
I think that’s also very hard, but good. I try to do it my self
Thank you Jo for this honest deconstruction of your old beliefs. This shows amazing growth and self reflection and hopefully inspires so many others to do the same!
I try to be understanding of people, even if i don't get it myself. With that said, i have gay friends, and i can't believe the things they hear on a daily basis.
We are all different...we should embrace those differences. After all, it would be a very boring life if we were all the same.
Spread the love, stop the hate❤
Yeah
As a woman who frequently gets misidentified as male because I'm tall, broad shouldered and large boned, I feel for anybody, trans or not, who gets gender misidentified. I was born a woman and continue to identify as female, but knowing you're a woman, or man, and having someone tell you, you are in the wrong bathroom, or freaking out and calling for security to remove you because they saw your big, wide feet under the stall door, is humiliating and hurtful on level that it's difficult to understand. I've stood in checkout lanes and have had cashiers of both sexes refer to me as Sir, despite my wearing a 38D bra size. Please everybody, if you can't tell, use a gender neutral term!
That sounds terrible! I'm sorry you go through that. This is an example of how transphobia hurts cis people as much as it does trans!
yes its so sad... and its only going to get worse with these trans laws happening
I feel ya, sometimes I wonder if I need to do more feminine things to make myself look more like a female, I am a biological female...it makes it awkward. I'm unfortunately used it now
I want to express sympathy for everyone whose beautiful body has lead to people assuming & saying hurtful things to them, no matter how they identify. We humans need to be less judgmental & more accepting when it comes to non-threatening individuals who just happen to be different from us.
@@starrywizdom Mind the phrase "non-threatening individuals". This person was relating how she has been hurt and humiliated by people making assumptions about her "threat level" while she was using the toilet in a locked stall. I'm sure you were referring to actual sexual or trafficking predators, but if so, please use those terms. "Non-threatening individuals" is very much subjective and has a soft feel to it that sounds acceptable, but it could EASILY be used to justify transphobia. All you have to do is say "But trans people ARE threatening, I feel threatened" and boom, you've validated transphobia with that phrase and JK Rowling would nod her approval. I'm not giving you shit, just pointing out that on topics such as this, you HAVE to be mindful about the words you choose. I understand that's probably precisely what you were doing, but if I ever miss the mark, I appreciate someone pointing it out. Since none of us are here to cause anybody harm. Much love.
When my son came out as trans, I was confused, and didn't understand...I'm a product of the 80's so you can imagine the trans stereotypes I grew up with. I accepted him fully, but wanted to learn more. And you hit the key thing us cishet folks need to do around the 10 minute mark...LISTEN.
I found Trans Twitter and met many trans men and women, heard many stories, made many friends, and while I can't know what being trans feels like, I have some sort of understanding.
And very spot on about how you don't have to experience something to still support and believe. I view this as akin to Feminism. I am not a woman, but I can listen to you, respect you and support you, even if I will never know what it's like to be a woman. I will stand with you against misogyny.
as one of my friends says "Lead with Love"
I'm really glad to hear that you are so willing to listen and learn. A trans person being rejected by their birth family doubles their suicide risk to 10.5 percent.
If you'd like another resource to leave from, I'd like to suggest my ongoing series on my channel. It's an educational series in five parts about trans people and the science behind their journeys and identities.
You sound like a good dad.
You are a good person. Thank you.
Bless you for standing by your kid! The world needs more loving and accepting parents. I'm blessed by mother was also loving and accepting of my coming out. (apparently she was relieved, and saw that shit coming- she wanted me to come to the conclusion on my own rather than her.)
There should be a "Cool Allied Parents Club" for folks with LGBT kids. 🤔
This fills my heart with joy
as a lesbian this made me both cry and think.. ive never heard someone talk about their ex homophobia and its a weird experience. I love you so much jo, you have helped me through a lot and I very much appreciate your ally-ship.
yes i didn't see this video so i was really scared when i saw this video but i have no regrets
I was homophobic for the 1st 16 years of my life until I realized I was a lesbian. Almost everyone was homophobic back in the day! But it takes so much courage to talk about that. I am impressed and honored by Joe's video. And as a disability rights activist she's a total role model of mine!
@@nikkij4873
"Almost everyone was homophobic back in the day"
Not really and it doesn't make it alright. I respect that your perspective might be different to mine but that comment is just so much nope I couldn't not comment on it. - a bisexual non-binary pal
@@boglenight1551 34 year old here. Sorry to burst your bubble. But it's true. OUR generation fought for you to be "nonbinary." We used to get beat up for stuff like that. Sorry to reality check you.
@@nikkij4873 I'm a 39 year old lesbian and you are wrong when you say "Almost everyone was homophobic back in the day". It depends on the community you grew up in. In high school a lot of my friend group was LGBTQ+ and no we didn't get beat up for it. I also had a family friend at the time who was in their 50s and trans. They were openly accepted by my parents and most of their friend group. There's definitely been a lot of progress in the following years but no, not everyone was homophobic and judgmental even back then.
We need more people like you willing to admit that you were in the wrong not supporting everyone but you are so much more accepting now and I love that for you!! Happy pride month everyone, stay safe, stay prideful
Yes but it’s hard for people with a little bit of Influence to admit it just for the fact that people are willing to cancel anyone for anything I’m not saying their fans but the people who don’t understand and wanna listen also happy pride month
@@TheLateNightReactor that is very true but they should tell their fans and if they dont like it they should unfollow the person but most of the time people are too entitled to thier own opinions that they won't change for anything so I was just glad to see her say that she's changed
@@theygottaluvmaze I mean everyone is entitled to there opinion well at least for what I know in the US but I understand what u mean I say if u don’t believe in the homosexual trans thing don’t be a asshole about it at least if you have a opinion that’s fine just don’t expect everyone to have the same opinion as u do if that makes sense
@@theygottaluvmaze and for god sake don’t use religious or god into it because it doesn’t help it makes them look bad especially the ones that actually don’t care if they are homosexual or not
@@TheLateNightReactor yes respect everyone and their opinions at least and I wasn't going to I'm Christian- and I'm apart of the lgbtq I wasn't gonna say anything about god
I love how that couple is "so confused" and upset about something that has zero impact on their life.
But really though!
Paul and Morgan are confused by anything that doesn't exist in their immediate bubble. And it's so sad because Morgan didn't used to be like that. She used to be a free and independent woman whose natural musical talent brought her happiness but Paul broke that part of her down and squashed it.
Fr 💀 like stop putting sm thought into it and just accept omfg
@@Black-Swan-007 and she seems always angry, see how she yells at the camera. If she was at peace, if she'd found her truth then she wouldn't need to raise her voice against no one
@@lapatti Paul ruined her. She could have been a really cool person.
This means so much to me, Jo. I have felt so much shame and anxiety in my past around my sexuality and gender identities because of evangelical christianity. And to hear from someone who is willing to admit their mistakes and has changed means the world to me.
One of my friends believes in God and used to be really homophobic. He said he thinks maybe God saw him being judgemental and sent him his 2 best friends (me - an atheist lesbian, and a gay man)
Amazing
@@Molly32021 you all use the same arguments
@@Molly32021 you do not tell god what he would never do
@@Molly32021 I doubt you should be telling God what he should be doing
This reminds me of one of my best friends. She used to be really queerphobic back when we were 15, but now she’s one of the most accepting people I know and has also realised she’s asexual.
As a queer person, this was an interesting video to watch because often we struggle with the same things when coming out, just on a much more personal level! Realizing who I really am was a process that included a lot of confusion and youtube has definitely helped me learn about myself. Which is why I would have loved it if you had included the names and channels of some LGBTQ+ creators you watch or learned from so that people who come out of this video wanting to learn have an easier time starting. Most likely, if they come here they already trust you and it would probably help them a lot to have a trusted creator show them where they can start!
Yeah this video made me a bit uncomfortable like... it felt a bit awkward to be told these things and as good as it is for Jo to own up to her mistakes, this is pride month, so if you're taking the time to talk about a related topic when you're not even queer yourself, at least, make sure to shout out to the appropriate people and allow the queer community to benefit somehow.
Agreed!
I do think it’s important that she made this video, there are so many people who refuse to even consider learning and changing and this might help people to consider it.
@@melissacoviello2886 It is important, and the video feels genuine so I don't think there was any intention behind it. But having a video of this kind, with so many ads in it, I would expect in the minimum that she would amplify the voice of other creators. A fund-raise would be even better. It just comes across as a little tone-deaf. Like I said, I don't think it was intentional, but it's something that could be improved in the future
@@grilodonilo621 yeah that's a great idea And, like just having the money made from this video go to charities that support lgbtq people would've made a huge difference
I'm sad to see a few people defending or holding on to their own bigotry in these comments. Particularly the transphobia. However they're severely outweighed by the positive comments and people speaking about their own growth and journeys. They're heartwarming to read and thank you Jo for creating such a positive environment on your channel. Love your content.
@@cqllel5186 Okay edgelord. Go back to recoloring Soinc characters with Shadow's color pallet and calling them your totally original characters.
@@coalopalatticus6964 soinc, on the other hand, is an original character
@@vibaj16 you're 12
@@SG-zp4fz wtf? What is your point? Also, no, I'm not 12. I won't assume your age, but I will say that your mental age is about 8 if this is how you act
This is one reason why I think it's unfair to pull someone's tweets from years ago and then call them out as racist/homophobic/etc. You don't know the kind of growing they've done in that time.
Yeah but if they've done enough growing/learning though hopefully they've already made some sort of comment/video/apology owning up to their mistake? Or else how do we know they've changed? Edit: cause it's one thing to have said horrible shit in the past but if you never acknowledge it and become vocal about now believing otherwise, you're a rather weak ally.
@@allister.trudel do you remember everything you've ever tweeted? Especially if it was like 5 years back
@@safeforwork8546 If myspace personal pages was still around.... *cringe*
@@safeforwork8546 well I tend to remember the messed up things I said cause deep down even then I knew it was wrong. But yeah I guess people who said horrible shit and were very much convinced in those horrible opinions might not have formed any memory about it. Oh and I guess there's also people who said so many horrible shit they can't keep track... but then again, they could still make a general statement about how their opinions have changed since without using a specific tweet they're apologising for.
Edit: Since it's apparently not obvious, I want to specify that I think people should apologise for "public and damaging behaviors". Not only tweets and other social media posts/comments are included but it could things you've said, opinions/ideas you've spread that were damaging, etc...
People do this with Colleen Ballinger a lot and it's so frustrating. She's spoken up often about issues of injustice and has acknowledged her past. She grew up super Christan. She went to a Christan college and had to do a lot of self reflection and unlearn what had been taught to her.
She's learn and grown and people want to act like she's the same kind of person she was 10 years ago.
It's really refreshing, as a trans guy, to hear people speak about the growth they've had as a person. I had a couple family members that were also judgemental in a similar way, but watching me grow and change and improve as I transitioned somehow changed them.
I went from actively contemplating suicide, daily mental breakdowns, psychiatric overnight stays, to suddenly- a very successful student and artist. Suddenly, my pathetic depressed facade became the real me; collegiate honor society, I stopped looking in the mirror and hating what looked back. I'm just me.
This is prime example of why grabbing old posts from many years ago, and destroying a person after they've come to terms with their own demons, and have grown and changed their opinion is a fucking shitty, horrible thing to do. Just because someone starts one way, doesn't mean that person is not open to change and growth later on. It's okay to accept being wrong, and willingly changing your opinion when presented with new ideas and logic.
As a queer trans person that was raised in a conservative, catholic household, it took me a while to unlearn the judgements I was taught growing up and even longer to recognize myself as who I am.
Happy Pride and cheers to growth 🌈🎉
Edit: oof was not ready for that transphobia from the Christian couple 😬😭
dammit Christian couple. Happy pride though
A true Christian wouldn't say 1/10th of 1% of what people claiming to be Christians say (and that's about many different subjects). You are perfect the way you are. Whenever a "Christian" comes at you sideways about how you live your life, remember *they* are confused about what Jesus stood for and believed.🏳️🌈
That must have been really hard - I’m glad you’re in a better place now 😊
I am always so overwhelmed by the strength of queer and trans people who were raised in this way. The amount of courage it must take to examine and accept your sexuality and gender identity in that environment absolutely floors me. You're an absolute superstar, the world and the community is so blessed to have you in it! Happy pride!!
@@painwarriorprincess5120 Yes. They say that Jesus came to us to take our sin and save us *ALL*. the bible literally says "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." and "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." the bible and Jesus clearly promote acceptance for all, regardless of opinion.
I think releasing this video during pride month is the exactly right thing to do. If you look at the origin of pride, it's all about LGBTQ+ rights and fighting against discrimination. And I think you are helping to do this by sharing this experience. Not many people would be brave enough to admit this knowing it could cause a shitstorm.
Also pride isn't just a big gay party. Straight cis allies are always welcome to contribute.
...
Wow.
As a bisexual woman who has faced discrimination talked about in this video, thank you for this. Although it was sad to hear the news about what you've done in your past, it is also very admirable to see you own up to your mistakes, learn from them, and genuinely apologize for it. Really gives me hope that not all people stuck in your previous mindset will be stuck there forever. That one day they will educate themselves like you have done and recognize how hurtful and wrong their actions are when it comes to LGBTQ+ discrimination. Happy Pride Jo 💗🏳️🌈
I wish I could be so forgiving. I thought all my life I was bi and had relations almost exclusively with man. Last year I realized I was actually a raging lesbian. I am 42. Talking about comphet right? I was raised in homophobic environment and totally internalized it. And my family isn't actually Christian they just believe in "something bigger" 😏 I am still not out btw. Just two of my siblings know.
Me too. I’m also a bisexual woman and I hope that people’s minds continue to change and be more open. 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 happy pride everyone:)
It’s use to break my heart when somebody called me wayward, lost or “in a phase”. I’m a black, bisexual woman , who also loves God. I was a born into a COGIC family (Protestant), so being anything other than “straight” was frowned upon.
If me being me , stops me from going to heaven one day…it’s just something I’ll have to account for on Judgement Day.
I feel I have to ask. Why do you believe in--or accept--a god who would judge you for being who you are?
@@pltatman1 There are many interpretations and doctrines of god and christianity, nothing's set in stone, and some of them take god for what it means in it's truest form, love and charity, and accept LGBT+ people just fine.
@@pedrowag868 Agreed, but this clearly wasn't Taylor's experience.
I have a sticker on my laptop that is a bunch of phases of the moon, but overlayed with lesbian colours. It’s a “not a phase” sticker!
@@pltatman1 it’s been done many times - don’t like the rules of your religion? Make your own.
I'm so glad you said you don't have to fully understand something to respect a person! Even as a member of the queer community myself I don't understand certain labels, but it would be hypocritical of me to just reject someone because "I don't get it." The best thing we can do is educate ourselves and be kind.
From a MtF Trans woman I would like to say thank you for opening your mind and trying to understand us. I grew up in catholic church so i understand the indoctrination. And thank you for being an Aly.
I came out to my Best friend growing up whom was born a woman and still is. She said she wasn't surprised and kinda figured i was, as whenever she would come over we would play with dolls. I knew from about age 8 i was different.
Tune in to JammiDodger. He is an AFAB trans man who has a literal PhD in psychology as it pertains to the trans community.
I ❤️ Jamie... he's too wholesome!
Jamie and Shaaba are awesome!
summer luk and samantha lux are super cool too, both of them are trans women and they're so fantastic ♥️ also yes stan jammi
we stan jamie
Hi very kindly, If he's a transman, you don't have to include is agab, it's already implied
Jo, as a transgender man, it means the world to me to hear how someone has grown. I thank you from my whole heart for trying to do and be better.
Same here (I’m a trans man too). We need more people to be like her and growing and learning more and being better.
Logen3D we need more people like her. Happy pride guys.
@@cqllel5186 Are you actually asking a genuine question? I may have gotten the wrong person, but I just saw you ranting about how trans people are apperently bullying everyone else, and to go from that to genuine questions in such a short amount of time does not sound so good and genuine in my mind.
@@coalopalatticus6964 No, you got the right person. Just report them for hate speech.
If I hadn't known Jo already to be the lovely person she is, I don't think I would have had the guts to click on this.
agreed
...
Why?
(There is 'incognito mode')
@@zapazap Because homophobia can be quite heart-breaking, especially from someone you thought you knew. And because sometimes empathising with homophobes leads to internalised homophobia.
@@JuMixBoox Thank you. That helps me understand.
May I ask if you advise against people exercising empathy with homophobes? (Which I take to mean: empathizing with a person who happens to be homophobic?)
I had kind of lost hope for people changing and pulling away from hateful mindsets, but this helps a lot. Thank you for sharing. :)
they don't always change but they can!! My very very very homophobic 57 year old great aunt is now finally starting to support me
I was raised in a very white church with a lot of the same ideals. I remember being in the car with three other girls and when the song “same love” came on they said the song was gross and changed the channel. My sister’s friend was kicked out of her home group in middle school for coming out as gay. It was so hard to accept myself as bi and even now I struggle. I’m glad you’ve changed but I remember the thing that hurt the most is that these people were my friends and I felt like I could never be myself. Sending love, thanks for the upload
Where you are on the LGBT+ spectrum does NOTHING to detract from your worth as a person. EVER! You are completely valid and anyone who treats you otherwise is wrong. You are no less deserving of love, dignity, etc. than ANY straight/cis person. ❤️💙💜🖤💛💚 🏳️🌈
I used to believe all this in my first 10 years as a Christian - and applied it all to myself, which in addition to conversion therapy - which I now recognise it as being - it turned me in to a self-hating, self-destructive mess. It's taken a long time to get to the place where I can say that I am gay, a Christian, and I have peace.
Thank you for sharing this - it needs to be heard more.
H0m0 isn't a s3xu4l1ty. It's a f3ti5h. Quit the p0.rn and the feelings will go away. "H3t3ro53xu4l1ty" is natural law. Nobody is born g4y. It's purely environmentally caused
i hope you've got the support you need to continue healing
@@theamethystslime5978 You're wrong, but feel free to go in peace, be ignorant if you want to so long as you don't hurt others.
God loves you. ❤️🏳️🌈🙏
Im a Christian woman, I find men attractive but wouldn’t be against dating a woman : ) Im not Trans but my closest three friends are, and I’ve seen the pain they go through with discrimination
I felt in my heart and my gut, that it was right to stick by them and love them no matter what! 💕💕💕 Today I can’t imagine how miserable I’d be without them they are incredible people
As a gay woman who spent a decent amount of my education at catholic schools, it was definitely implied that it wasn’t normal or okay.
I had to end a friendship because she could not accept that part of me. I hope one day she will be willing to learn and listen like you have.
Jo, thank you for taking the time to listen, learn and grow. That’s all I could ever ask for. ❤️ ✨🌈
What gets me is: why do people feel the need to judge someone on something that does not effect them, or hurt them?
Being, Trans, Gay, Bi, Pan or A Sexual or using non gender assigned pronouns does not “hurt” them the person it applies to or anyone around them that they associate or come into contact with.
I’m a Pagan who may or may not be Asexual, (still on the road of self discovery) and I am firm believer in: “do what ye will, in it harm none.”
RIghtwing politics needs an "other" to blame for society's ills.
I think humans feel threatened by whatever they don't understand. So anything that can make a person seem different than what we're used to (race, gender, sexuality, being neurodivergent, disabilites etc.) feels threatening because we feel like we don't understand these things and therefore they can cause harm to the things we love and want to protect.
I think when we hate someone/something, it's because that thing is a perceived threat to what we love.
I believe that they genuinely want to "save" people from eternal damnation because they were raised to believe that that was the destiny that every sinner faces, when instead it's not for them to judge.
The thing with "Christian Love" trying to "help" LGBTQIA+ people to stop them going to hell, it's STILL about the xtian's ability to "save" them, not about the LGBTQIA+ person!
I remember during that big skeptic period on TH-cam, my ex who was trans had these very strong feelings on how non-binary people, people who use neopronouns and people who didn’t experience severe dysphoria weren’t valid. That they were damaging to the community because they made more binary trans people or people who defined their identity by their dysphoria less valid to others.
So I guess at the time, the reason why I felt the need to judge people on that was out of this fear that it might be harmful. Sometimes it takes knowing that thinking that way can also be quite harmful. That it’s harmful to define your identity purely off of pain. That it’s harmful invalidate those who don’t strongly connect with any gender. That it’s harmful for those who struggle to identify their gender.
“The more you love, the more you live...”
Firstly, I really, really appreciate you posting this. It's an incredibly brave thing to do.
Secondly, honestly in the grand scheme of things you're quite ahead of the curve. You're basically where my mum is now. She identified as a fundamentalist Christian for a large chunk of my life (UK based, so a little different from the American brands of Conservative Christianity) and a lot of my upbringing as a result was saturated with this "love the sinner, hate the sin" kind of vibe. I remember going to a Christian camp where an older, "same-sex attracted" man spoke about how there was no real way around being queer and pure in God's eyes than pure abstinence. I think that was a turning point for her - seeing me so scared that this would mean I wouldn't be able to find and feel love in the same way as her.
Over those years, I bit the bullet and cycled through a couple of identities before settling as a bisexual trans man at 15. And through those years she read A Lot about queer experience. She particularly used resources from the charity Mermaids. It also helped that she had a degree in Biblical Studies and a close friend from university working as a queer-friendly Baptist reverend in London, so she had a lot of theological resources to hand to learn about the origins of Christianised homophobia and how that's by no means a good reading of the Bible. I'm 21 now, 3 years on T with an amazing relationship with her. She's on my hometown's Pride committee, always reading and learning.
But she was over 30 years old before starting this process - far older than you are now. There is no time like the present.
As for the friends you lost, I am so sorry. My community has a suicide attempt rate of just over 40%, so it is far from uncommon. While it's true that there were better ways for you to support them at that time, the blame really rests on the hegemonic transphobia that surrounded you and them. Blaming an individual for what is a societal problem that harms everyone within it isn't a productive way to make the world a better place. You tried your best with the tools you had at the time - I just wish that those around you gave you better tools to help them
Very proud of you for admitting to your mistakes before you’re forced to.
Thanks for sharing your journey.
Hey! As a queer person that grew up in the south I cant tell you how unexpectedly healing that was to hear from you. Thank you
Jo, I don't know if you are aware of how very much important this video by a straight person who used to be homophobic is for a member of the community like me. To this day, there are people discriminated, hurt physically and mentally, getting thrown out if their home by their own parents, get arrested, murdered, and even committing suicide. If this video is helping just one person thinking about what they are doing it will make the world a better place. Thank you so very much for this important message.
I'm sorry for the mistakes I eventually made, English is not my first language.
Late reply, but I just wanted to say that your English is fine for most unprofessional use. Of course there are mistakes and oddly phrased sentences, but you are perfectly understandable. You're far better at speaking English than I'll ever be at speaking Spanish, despite me learning it for 2 years and Spanish being probably the closest language to English.
@@vibaj16 thank you very much for your kind response, I appreciate it :-)
You're openness and honesty is appreciated. Thanks.
Based Jo is best Jo. Proud of you both for your journey and your willingness to admit where you were wrong.
Queen shit right here. Much love.
Based?
@@williandalsoto806 based is what people who aren't afraid of the concept of "woke" use instead of the word woke.
It's defiance of accepted norms in pursuit of a greater truth and a better world.
@@KickstandOptional Thanks for explaining!
@@cqllel5186 at no point in that meandering, ham-fisted attempt at a rebuttal did you remotely approach anything vaguely resembling a cogent point. Everyone who stumbles across this will inevitably find themselves slightly dumber for having been exposed to it.
I award you zero points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
A trigger warning for mentions of suicide wouldn't have been a bad idea. Speaking as a trans woman who has been suicidal, the end of your first story about your friend hit like a gut punch
Seconded! Even if something gets added to the title and/or caption (preferably the former at least), that could still suffice
I just came out this past week and have lost so many of my followers who I considered family and friends. I hate that in 2021 we live in such a world of hate.
Gained a new subscriber.. ;)
@@lisaruttenberg5886 thank you❤️
So sorry for that. I know its probably no comfort but its better they have gone because you are being yourself and can gain new followers who understand and you may even help with your story. This is just the begining of your journey. Good luck
Welcome to our family!! People in your life might be assholes but please know evert queer person loves you. It comes with the territory.
So sorry people have been hateful. You are worthy of all the love in the world -- from a cis straight older lady.
I'm so glad you were able to realise that "hey, I might be incorrect on this, let me look into it further" and not digging yourself even further into a hole telling yourself that everyone else is incorrect, you're right, people need to get over themselves. It shows real maturity. Not all people do that.
I'm really lucky to have grown up with queer people around me my entire life, which meant that I was comfortable enough to accept myself as trans, and not have to fully mask that part of my identity. I'm also really glad that I have parents who let me wear what I wanted, cut my hair how I wanted and play with the toys I wanted even at a really young age. Unfortunately, the pronoun and name change-deal has been less of a success, but I'm working on it.
Thank you, Jo.
As a bi woman, I greatly appreciate your growth and genuine honesty. So many friends, family and subscribers can learn tremendously from this beautiful video.
I grew up with a younger sister that struggled deeply with me dating a woman, due her fundamental religious beliefs. Fortunately, we have both matured greatly, and now are closer than ever and she truly loves my partner.
Thank you dearly for taking the time to make this extremely valuable video. I'm sure it will definitely impact a friend or family member that will listen to your advice and hopefully it will soften their heart towards our community. Most importantly, being in the LGBT+ community is just a very small part of whom we are, we are made up of so much more.
Lastly, if you are reading this and are struggling regarding coming out, find a compassionate person and just do it...you will forever lead a much more authentic life as a result of getting this off your chest. You are valued and have a meaningful purpose in this life, don't let anyone dim your light....ever!!!
As a queer teen (lesbian) this was so amazing to hear. I’ve never faced direct discrimination, mostly because the only time I’ve been out I was online, but I’m scared for next year because my first day of school shirt is a queer one. But this was so cool to see, and I hope someday everyone can accept us, so thank you for telling us your story Jo.
...
🌈 Happy Pride, Corgi_Snoot! 💖💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
@@jrhulkyolo2105 have something to say? share with the class.
@@mochiyeosang1908 its nothing. Just the pfp
Im so glad youre speaking up about this, its hard to admit your own mistakes. Thank you for becoming a better person.
As a Christian, I'm a proud ally of the LGBTQ community💞. I have many Trans and gay friends, and I will stand arm in arm with them for anything if they called on me. There are still many gender identities I don't understand, but that will never mean I'll judge someone if they were to tell me they a part of one of those. I mean, I'm still trying to figure my own identity out at the age of 50! I know I'm cis, but who am I really?
We are ever changing in life. We are how we treat others and ourselves. Kindness goes a long way.
Exactly. As long as they are a nice person I don’t care about anything else about them. Be who you want to be and everyone should accept you for that 😌👌🏻
you are not a christian if you promote sinful actions
@@Josephiah24 I respect your deeply held beliefs. However, I would like to very respectfully suggest that you go fornicate with a blender, you hateful little creature. Who are you to call anyone else a sinner? Judge not lest ye be judged…Let he who is without sin…
Stop using a religious text to justify your discomfort/disgust with people who aren’t like you. Grow the hell up, or at least keep your nonsense to yourself.
@@johnwrath3612 stop using the Bible out of context. Judgement is righteous.
Thank you for being honest. I really think this could help a lot of people. I’m really proud of you for realizing the bias you had and continued researching and not bailing the moment it became uncomfortable.
from a queer person i really appreciate when people come forward like this, i think its incredibly brave to discuss past biases like this
I have shivers. THANK YOU for being so honest and open about your experiences. You are a bright light in these stressful times. Thank you for accepting others as they are, and thank you for admitting when you needed to change.
Thinking of you :)
thank you for growing into a better person Joe! so many people indoctrined by the church never see that they are doing harm.
knowing I can safe here as a queer disabled person makes me feel even better supporting your channel.
It does not matter how you were. That is meaningless. You have come to know the truth, and are a wholesome person now. That is what matters. Happy pride Jo!
Thank you for this. This is exactly what I needed to hear this pride month. My parents were not supportive of me being bi when I was growing up and it was traumatic. Thanks for voicing your growth
🌈 I hope you embrace and celebrate your bisexuality, and have a very Happy Pride! 💖💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
I’m proud of you for speaking about this, regardless of any backlash you may face, you’ve shown you’ve grown. Happy pride, Jo 🌈
Thanks for boosting my faith in humanity. I want to believe that people who see identities other than theirs as "invalid" or "wrong" can learn that other people's identities don't affect them & they can just accept them.
Happy pride month everyone! 🌈 Just goes to show that people really are capable of learning, growing and changing for the better🥰 hopefully some other people can learn from your story ❤️ love your channel Jo! 💕
I am a 34 year old asexual lesbian. I only came out as asexual last year because I was so confused and ashamed of myself. What you were feeling about lgbt is actually something I often thought about myself. I thought I was abnormal and just needed to act normal and I'd start to feel normal.
I found coming out as gay has been hard, but a million times easier than being asexual. That's still ignored and very misunderstood. If anyone has any asexual friends, be kind! 😊😊
Thank you for the video 🖤🤍 💜
You're "abnormal" in a statistical sense ;) but that is nothing bad. Please feel validated :)
You have my respect. You totally merit acceptance , friendship and the kids D of love you are comfortable with
Blows my mind that They/Them is harder to remember than She/He. It's really not that tough to show someone enough respect to recognize them properly, not even a little confusing IMHO. Thanks for the video and your willingness to admit your faults.
It's a disingenuous argument.
Actually I use they/them for most people anyway, so it easier for me to remember, or I use their name
@@chadfalardeau5396 it’s also so useful in a gender-indeterminate context. Like ‘A student should reread their essay at least once before they turn it in.”
@@archervine8064 it's been a recent thing, I accidentally misgendered someone in a comment and got so much flack that I rarely use gender pronouns even irl anymore. It was a simple typo
@@chadfalardeau5396 that’s unfortunate… I can understand that being misgendered could be very triggering for some, but we’ve all made a typo.
The way I explained it to a friend of mine who showed a little resistance stemming from confusion when I came out as non-binary was this:
If you understood completely and perfectly, that would make you non-binary (or whatever other identity) too. With some things you can't possibly understand when you're not in that position. All you have to do is accept.
Hearing you discuss your journey felt quite healing to me. I know a several people very close to me at different stages of their own similar journeys, and it's amazing to be able to hear someone who has come all the way through. It gives me so much optimism.
This was almost my exact same experience! It's incredible how certain and unshakable you can be in your beliefs your whole life, only to completely change your worldview in a short time
I love to see this. It's so rare to see someone change and grow so much, let alone come into public and talk about how they were before. Thank you Jo
I'm gonna show this to my mom/family when I come out, hopefully it can help her understand.
I’m glad you grew and are willing to admit your past mistakes. That takes guts.
Being subjected to Paul and Morgan even once is one too many times for me lmao.
Aww, it’s so nice to hear people who have opened their mind to be kind. I am nonbinary and bisexual. It took me a long time to learn the words to explain who I am. And I was raised in a semi-conservative way. “Gay people are fine, but you aren’t one” kind of place!
I’m so glad I am out, my life is so much better now!
I am SO glad you are able to accept humans as they are, and you have decided to share this journey! 💜 love your work even more now!!
omg this is the first time i see someone who was told nearly word for word what i was told!! "if you ever meet a queer person, treat them like they're a normal person. but know that you aren't one because you have normal chromosomes"
I know this is an old video but: Good for you. Identifying that you have prejudices and that's wrong is... a lot harder than it looks. Admitting it is even harder.
In my experience, being trans or queer is a lot like getting divorced. Lots of people who aren't even remotely "in the middle" of this relationship, in this case between a person and their own identity, feel like they have a lot of say and have a right to strong opinions about it. When I came out to my sister, she made a big deal about how it was hard for HER, how SHE couldn't handle it, and how I was so selfish for putting this on her. I don't remember what exactly I said at the time, but I do remember impressing upon her that who I am and what I am going through ISN'T ACTUALLY about HER; it's about me. And she can either be okay with that or not. And she just looked at me like she'd never thought about it like that before.
Paul & Morgan bother me on an extremely personal and deep level.
YES JO. People need to realize that there is grace and honor and intelligence in changing your mind and admitting past faults. this type of candor is so so valuable to encourage people to change
Damn the courage it takes to own your stuff like this. Good job. And I think you’re setting a great example that people can change.
this is actually amazing - i'm so happy that you are able to be so open-minded and respectful now
I grew up in a similar religious situation “We don’t hate the people, just the act/way of life”
@Hai Hai Exactly. Their words didn’t mean much but their actions spoke volumes. The religion I was in spoke very poorly. Calling homosexual acts a sin, and how they were flawed. It’s caused a lot of abuse and loss of life over the years and I’m so glad and thankful I’m no longer in that environment.
I hate when religious people say that. Another common phrase they say is "we hate the sin not the sinner".
But If I told them "I don't hate christians, I hate the Bible" they would take offense
It's the way of life bcuz it's the natural law. We'll of course dislike and disagree with such inhumane and radical ideologies
@@pia_mater Itpd actually be "I don't hate the christians, I hate their religion". You hating god's word, which predates all of man's demonic religions, is not offensive. Merely disturbing. Watching the very thing we were warned about/against via prophecy come to reality
@@cqllel5186 “...god’s word which predates all of mans demonic religions...” The bible takes inspiration from earlier cultures and religions so how about you stfu and do some research on your own religion. And the whole “LGBTQ is unnatural” argument is incredibly idiotic and generally ignorant as homosexuality is common in the natural world. And what about a man kissing a man or a biological female identifying as a man inhumane?
Kudos to you. Great great message and video. . it seems rare to hear people admit they were uninformed, overly harsh and judgmental and unkind, , and that change and growth are worth it! Thank you!
Being a non binary person I never think it's a requirement to openly talk about your support for the lgbtq+ community but it means a lot every time someone talks about it! Thank you! 💜
this is the nicest and the best way to start a conversation with someone on this matter, thank you for this!
Jo, as one half of a lesbian couple and longtime patron supporters of yours thank you for sharing your journey.
One question I have always wondered is why do religious people feel the need to try to convert and interfere with anyone who is not straight?
It always makes me laugh when I’ve been told “I’m going to hell” like that’s some kind of threat. As I’m an atheist as well as gay (shock horror, I know) how is something I don’t even believe in meant to scare me so much I will turn straight, leave my amazing wife and our very happy 15 year marriage?
Honestly, I feel sorry for religious folk as they seem to live their lives in fear of doing wrong and spend their lives doing what’s expected of them instead of that makes them happy.
I live a very law abiding and moralistic life (apart from the whole lady loving part 😉) and I didn’t learn any of that from a book or someone preaching to me but from my parents who raised us kids to be kind, polite and respectful to ourselves and other people, animals and the environment.
Thanks again Jo, great video and happy pride. You maybe not be part of the LGBTQ+ family but we would never turn you away for being supportive. ❤️
For someone who believes in hell, it is a very scary thing! Being tortured *forever*? And very often Christians believe that it is their responsibility to save other people from a fate that is so unimaginably horrible. If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that someone, even a stranger, was about to die in a horribly painful firey car wreck, wouldn't you go to great lengths to get them to change their behavior so that didn't happen? If approaching them with "love and kindness" didn't work, perhaps they would change something if they could just understand how much danger they were in!
So I think that homophobic evangelical christians genuinely believe they are doing the most loving thing by being hateful
@@harmonicaveronica - Thanks for your insight, it makes sense. BTW, fab username. 😁
They're scared and hate 'perverts'. They try to hide it behind 'love', but it's a wild hate.
Even the somewhat accepting evangelical christians believe it is their calling to be a missionary (haha, pun fully intended) to anyone who does not believe *exactly* what they believe. Everyone else is 'only confused' about virtually everything: their faith, their calling, their sexuality, whatever. As such to prevent them from eternal damnation and torture in hell they have to do everything in their power to convert you.
Trying to 'convert you back to a "normal" sexuality' is only part of their plan to change you into cookie-cutter copies of themselves.
What they fail to understand is that by doing that they are personifying exactly the type of non-acceptance and hate that a real christian should not succumb to. Because the central position of the teachings of Jesus was to love your neighbor like yourselves. To love someone like yourself you first have to be able to love yourself. Once you succeed at that you also have to apply it to everyone else, no matter what their outlook on life. But those two steps are incredibly difficult for those types of evangelical christians to master, much less to understand. They are often so dyed in the wool old testament 'wrath and hellfire' believers that they completely missed out on the paradigm shift that happened later.
So they fail to understand that hate is deeply frowned upon, and love in every shape or form is the only way to go. Which includes all the members of the LGBTQ+ community as well.
Now imagine that someone is raised by the standards of 'believe what I say, not what I do, and don't think for yourself' of one authority figure preaching from a pulpit every Sunday. Suddenly hate of everything not according to their strict and essentially 19th century norms becomes becomes the new normal behavior for them. They suddenly believe that hate of everything not according to their own norms is the only way to go. Then you get the Westboro Church members on the streets shouting BS day in, day out.
NOTE: I am NOT condoning this behavior or their beliefs, only voicing my interpretation of how such things happen.
I personally have a few friends of nearly all groups of the LGBTQ+ community, though I am not certain about the Q group currently.
I think you are very possibly my favourite person on the internet for saying this. Thank you, Jo.
as someone in the lgbt community, this is the character progression we all need. You are an amazing person and you talking about this just cements it.
Jo, you are a courageous young woman to talk about a time when you weren’t as open as you are now. Admitting we have been doing harmful things and trying to change how we do things and the things we believe is a daunting thing to do. Your talking about your journey to change gives others a way to follow your lead. Take care and stay safe.
Thankyou for sharing. As someone who is gay it means a lot that you can talk about it and how you have changed since then.
This is one of the best videos ive seen on youtube
I really appreciate your honesty and bravery. I think that people often spend more time and energy trying to defend their existing beliefs then examining other beliefs weather they will change their beliefs or not.
Owning your mistakes shows how good of a person you actually are. Love your videos on how you manage with your amputation and seeing this video makes me enjoy you even more cause you a honest and willfully admit your mistakes.
As a trans person that was raised in a conservative christian kkkult and have at multiple times in my life been abandoned by everyone I know, thank you SO MUCH for making this video. It's hard for us sometime to realize that people CAN change. If more allies would talk about their path to deprogramming homo\transphobia instead of pretending they were always the ruler of Wokeville, we'd have even more potential allies following that path.
I know I'm like overly late to this entire conversation, but yesss
As the child of emotionally abusive and immature parents who refuse to ever apologize for anything, thanks for admitting that you were wrong! As a society I think we're so scared to say we've done bad things/have thought harmful things and apologize for them because we're afraid of being villainized, so I appreciate that you're owning up to it so openly. It's always really cool to see that.
I'm non-binary and the arguments around like, whether or not I'm confused about my gender, why can't I just pick one, etc etc, is so eyeroll-y to me. Non-binary folks aren't asking you to do anything other than refer to us the way that feels most true and comfortable to us, and I don't understand why we tend to view it as this huge undertaking to just refer to someone in a way that doesn't make them feel shitty. Getting misgendered is a lot more emotionally impactful than this example, but it's somewhat akin to your name being Nicholas and everyone calling you Nick when you prefer your whole name. What does it cost you to call that person Nicholas when they ask you to? What does it cost you to refer to me as they/them?
The grammatical correctness thing is also hilarious because w h o c a r e s if it's grammatically correct or not? We don't follow grammar rules in conversations a lot of the time anyway, it's not like you're getting a grade at the end of every interaction. Doesn't my being a person matter more than sentence structure?
Sorry 4 the rant, but this is a great video! Thanks for posting :)
I was born male, and lived as a boy and man until I was 40. In that time from age 15 to 40, I attempted suicide 5 times because being “me” was “sinful”. Now I am a post-op trans woman who is and always has been attracted to women. When I came out, my church kicked me out, and fired the pastor who supported me. Unfortunately, the Christian church has done and continues to do tremendous damage to the members of the LGBTQI communities. Since transitioning, I no longer want to die. Since suicide is a sin, since lying about who I am could be viewed as sinful, and I no longer want to end my life, I fail to understand how my transition could be evil. All of that said, the entire time I denied my true self and lived as a man, I was a devoted homophobe and transphobe.
Ah well I’m glad you know who you are now! Not only is changing bigotry, and admitting you were wrong tough, but then learning who you are is different is very hard. As a non-binary person, who never really spent time of my life (apart from maybe age six) homophobic or transphobic, I really appreciate people who can change, or who actually put in the effort. I’m honestly scrolling through comments, and just appreciating all the people who changed.
Lmnopq is HEAVILY linked with depression. The vast majority of people in it were abused as children and/or had absent parental figures. Highest 5u.1c1.d3 rates among adolescents. An inhumane, radical coping mechanism
They act on fanaticism. They demand from us. They force their radical, inhumane ideals down our throats, completely inconsiderate of how we think/feel, forcing us into obedience/compliance, OR ELSE. They threaten our reputations/lives by punishing us via Cancel Culture or other forms of Censorship, wehn/if we speak/think out of line
Itls self-glorification, narcissism, extreme prejudice/intolerance, and totalitarian. True PSYCHOPATHY. That what this entire community is
I hope this reached/reaches people that held similar beliefs that you had before.
Ugh, “you’re confused.” I got that from someone who insisted they weren’t homophobic, but I really needed to date a cis boy to better understand my orientation.
Tell them to date a person with the same gender then, because they gotta understand their orientation better
@@holymoly9903 And if they say 'I did'?
Good for you Jo! Also I wholeheartedly agree with editing jo as a gay Christian who is trying to fight the stigma in the church
When I go public with my transness there is not a single person I work with that will have my back. In fact they will actively work against me. I expect it but it will still make my life hell. But I will live my truth.
Stay Strong!!
I've heard a lot of people join churches because the churches "have a good children's program" or "have a lot of young families." They're happy to buy into or overlook the fundamental flaws in an organization that excludes and persecutes others until it hits close to home for them. I pray that more people will realize that love and inclusion are higher authorities than the people who interpret religious doctrine. Thank you for making this video. I hope many will view and find encouragement
Thank you for owning up to this and sharing your path to growth as an empathetic, educated ally. Stories like this are an important part of showing folks why and how they should open their minds and hearts. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend as well. You're doing them justice now.
Jo, I’m twice your age and have been queer since the day I was born. I came of age in the decadent 70’s when closet doors were blowing open, liberation and equal rights were at our fingertips. Then, the 80’s, and all of the discrimination and hatred came pouring back in on the coattails of a terrifying virus that took so many from us. Then glimmers of hope again and huge victories, late 2000’s to the mid-2000-teens, and now a lot of hatred. Again. Sometimes it feels hopeless. I can’t begin to tell you how much older people like me cherish younger ones like you. Please know how much you’re loved, appreciated, and valued, Jo.
As a transwoman and a lesbian this really got to me. From the age of 3 all I ever remember hearing from my mother is how god hates people like me and that I will burn in hell. Now I am in my 50's, having HRT and loving myself so much more than I ever have. My mother wonders why she never hears from me, so do the rest of my family but I told them a couple of decades ago that if they can't accept me for who I am and apologize for all the harm they did to me (which did lead to multiple suicide attempts and being in the hospital a few times) then I want nothing more to do with them. I wish them no harm and hope that they are truly happy with their lives, I just don't want to be a part if it.
So Jo, thank you. It's not the same as getting it from my family but your apology definitely got to me.
im delighted that you have made this video and im very happy you accept how people are now and i think its very brave
Happy Pride Month! 🏳🌈
you too 🏳️🌈
This is such a powerful video. You made mistakes, you acknowledge them and you confront them to help others and do better.
It's so good to see that some people are actually willing to change ❤️
We need more Jo's in the world 💜 people willing to admit they're mistakes and be vulnerable about it
Thanks for being open to changing your perspective! Funny how, for me, the journey to becoming comfortable with being lgbtqia+ looks pretty similar to your journey of becoming an ally. We’ve all got history, sharing it helps! Happy pride, ally! 🏳️🌈
I absolutely adore how you've taken the time to talk about this.
There are so many people who shy away from their mistakes and past beliefs, people who just will not acknowledge what they believed in and act like they always were good people.
I believe that if more and more people start talking about their past beliefs and how they were able to learn and grow and become more accepting of people, that people still stuck in their closed-mindedness can open up!
So happy this channel exists, and even happier this video exists!
Honestly, the whole life is confusing. I am so confused every day. I think this is important. If I'd ever get anything completely, I don't know what to do next.
I am also Christian. I think this religion is about loving everyone without exception, because God does so. So LGBTQIA+ should not be loved any less.
We need more Christians reminding the phobes that Jesus' entire message was loving people and taking care of the vulnerable. That's it. Period.
If he were around today, he'd be ridiculed as a commie.
Unless you are affirming LGBT+ people, you aren’t loving or supporting us.
@@kfallon862 Are you referring to me? I absolutely do support LGBTQIA+ people and I don't love them any less than anybody else. Sorry if this was ambiguous.
@@josymarie4327 Seemed clear to me...
@@KickstandOptional leviticus 18:22
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for listening to queer voices and not getting your information from someone like Ben Shapiro, who makes a career out of fearmongering and misinformation. I'm a queer trans woman who grew up in the Catholic church, so I VERY MUCH appreciated this video. I'm a new subscriber and this just made me want to stick around even more! It's nice to meet and learn about you Jo! Excited to see more from you.
I'm glad you pointed out that you never questioned it, because we ARE supposed to question. That's how we accomplish "know why you believe what you believe, so that when you are questioned, you will have an answer"
In my case, for a very long time I didn't have a reason to question. I was indoctrinated into religion as a child. Everyone I knew believed, so it seemed natural as breathing that I believed also. It wasn't until my early twenties that I encountered situations that forced me to question my beliefs.
Sometimes, surrounding yourself with the right people does wonders.
I grew up in a very repressive, judgemental background and it definitely takes its toll.
My God… I saw you on YT shorts and already thought you were cool. This is beyond anything most people have done on this app. I’m so, SO proud of you! And hope you’re having an awesomely week
Thank you for including Asexuals! 💜🖤
As a bi girl, these conversations are some of my favorite to hear and to have. I just love the complexity of any human and how they change and grow. Thank you for sharing your story. I know i cant speak for all bi girls but im going to lol. We appreciate you
Thank you Jo. I feel so much of this about SO MANY topics! I grew up in a rural area, in a family that didn't appreciate "other", big things like race and identity but also small things like clothing and hair color and living a bold life. I struggle with the fact that I have grown but my family members are still the same - it is difficult to have a relationship with them when we disagree on the incredibly fundamental concept that people have a right to exist as they are. My personal shame for hurtful thoughts and judgements about race, identify, beliefs I had still exists. But, it has made me work harder to continue to learn and listen and grow. Thank you for sharing, and for reminding me that growth is good.