I resonate with this 100 percent. I left my husband 3 months ago for the very reason. I'm so happy! Everything revolved around him. His negativity, his anger. His hobbies, how we spent money, trips we took, or didn't take. No matter how much I spoke up and he would say he would do better, it just never happened. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life like that. So at 64 I'm on my own, and I've never been more at peace. I'm an artist, and have many creative hobbies, I also love thrifting. I enjoy only cooking for myself, cleaning up after myself. I love being alone, and when I don't want to be, i see friends and family. ❤
@carnitaEilertson, Oh Yes!! ... Thank you so much for speaking on this issue!! .. I am also enjoying myself immensely!! .. Whew! .. I see so many unhappy couples. Usually the man is only interested in what his needs are!! .. I love my life now!! .. You Rock!! 🥰
There are many who are in this position but not everyone. It is unfortunate to be married and feeling lonely, it means the mind of two people isn't with each other even though the body is in the same space. What brings anyone closer to another is the mind and everything that is shared with it, the body follows. When the mind is absent obviously it doesn't matter right, the body is just the capsule that will be discarded just like the shuttle that leaves behind the booster upon leaving one sphere and enters another.
I'm 65, recently seperated and also live in my van. I am currently traveling through the southeast. It's great to be able to go where I want but it does get lonely because I'm away from my friends. I needed to travel, #1 to get out of the cold (from NY) and #2 to try and discover myself again
Yes, enjoy your freedom n not having to listen to your husband’s opinion. I divorced at 60 and do not regret it 2 years later. We deserve to be happy in our 60s n beyond.
Im 63, on my own for a couple of years, sitting in bed drinking coffee and watching this yt vid, my dog and cat curled up beside me... it's a little bit of bliss...and i have no one to judge me for it!
I get it goldfinch. I mean who don't like coffee in the bed.....right 😉😊. We all like what we like and no one wants to be told what to do. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve spent my entire life giving and doing for others. First it was school, nursing school, my patients, my husband, my children, parents, etc. I’m DONE! This is my time. I have finished. I’ve crossed the finish line. I now live alone in a beautiful apartment in a wonderful new city. I’m so happy doing exactly what I enjoy doing. No guilt; I feel I’ve earned this privilege. I’m thankful to God that He has allowed me the strength, health and sanity to live alone and feel content and happy. I’m comfortable and happy with myself. It still excites me that I have no one to which I answer. I’m loving my new life! May God grant me a long, healthy, happy time to rediscover myself and my own ways of being happy!
I’m a nurse and I had the same life. I’m done as well. My kids can take care of themselves. I’m letting go of worrying about my grandkids. They will be fine. I’m so happy you rescued you.
I'm 64 and have lived alone my entire life. I never even had a roommate, and my family live in different states. I relish my privacy and never feel lonely. I do what I want, when I want, how I want. And I never need to consider the needs of other people around me. It would freak me out to hear a key in the door or find items not where I left them! I feel incredibly lucky to be self-sufficient and able to manage on my own.
I'm 67, retired, and have lived alone -- intentionally -- since college. I enjoy the peace, quiet, serenity, and independence of living with just my beloved dog. I have nothing against marriage; it's just not for me. I have friends and family with whom to socialize and a very close, high-quality male friend for companionship, dinners, road trips, and mutually exclusive relations. I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
I’ve lived alone for 11 years since my husband died and had never lived alone before. I never knew how much I would love it. I’ve been having to stay with my daughter and her husband for 5 months due to flooding on my condo…it is very difficult even though it’s temporary but I miss my alone time. Never ever want to live with anyone again!
Hum, I've been married for over 43 years. We have our issues from time to time just like any other couple, but I can't imagine living without her. Since we're in our 60's, we have to make sure each other is taken care of since our days of making money and creating wealth, are gone. We need each other.
The algorithm brought me to you for the first time. I am unmarried at 54. I have to say i love being single. While i live w my elderly father and young adult(ish ) daughter.. i can relate completely to what you speak to. I felt alone and miserable while in a toxic relationship and while there are times when i long for companionship , overall i am grateful for my autonomy and peace. Not having to manage a grown man's moods and etc. It's just so freeing, peaceful. Thank you.
I love my husband so much. We have a great life together. We travel the world and work together together to make a great life for us and our adult children. My husband is a positive and fit person.
@@krisb.5327All very important to surviving and enjoying a long term relationship into your 60s/70s. I'm curious...is intimacy and sex still important to you guys? It can be sad and disheartening when it is for one and not the other.
I got divorced when I was 39 years old. I'm now 73 and am still enjoying my time! I travel where I want to go. Decorated my home the way I want. Prepare meals that I want, go where I want to go. I can go to bed and read instead of sitting with him watching mindless TV. I love my alone time and thinking about starting a yourtube channel
I divorced at 40 and I’m 65 now. I agree with everything you said. This is my life and I have molded it how I want. Good for you that you are enjoying your life too!
Hi - I stumbled upon your channel and I love it! I've been divorced for 22 years and retired for 7 and I love being alone. My home is my sanctuary and my time and my money is mine to do with as I please. When I visit my siblings, and witness the hostility and nastiness in their relationships I am so thankful to be single. We have been fed the unrealistic ideal that marriage is for life and you just have to endure it. Not in this day and age! Don't apologize for loving yourself and your freedom - we have found a hard-earned and well-deserved secret to happiness.
Ditto to everything you just mentioned. I have been divorced for 20 years, not retired yet, but it is on my mind. I too, am so unapologetic for loving myself. It is my time now & I act like it is! I am so so thankful for this PEACE of mind that exist in my life. No better atmosphere for me!
My mother who truly believed it was all about having a man still complained in her old age about not being able to come and go as she pleased being the caregiver for my Dad. I’ve been divorced twice. No part of either marriage brought me happiness or joy. Second marriage was entirely about his needs 24/7 and I lost myself. I am now fully single and the happiest I have ever been and the most fulfilled. Yes, solitude is a very good thing! 😊
Yes you are absolutely spot on about being alone. I am 72 and living in a relationship where my my wife was an alcoholic was unbelievable. Being alone is hard but it beats what I was going through. You are definitely better off like you said about just remaining alone the rest of your life.
I'm 66 years young and have been divorced since my late 20's. That was a miserable (abusive) marriage and I never remarried. I never trusted anyone enough to take that leap. I'm content in being alone, doing all the things you mentioned anytime I want or not want. I can't see giving that up for anyone. Men typically die sooner than women so we're alone later on anyway. I respect those who are happy in their marriages, and I'm happy for them. I have friends who have married 4 and 5 times. I don't believe in multiple marriages. Something tells me that the person doesn't know how to select the right partner. Some people rush into marriage because they hate being alone. My mom always wanted me to be remarried. She said I was too picky. I told her the that's the problem; women (and some men) aren't picky enough. Happy New Year!
I was married four times. You are right.Bad picker here. People often lie about who they are in order to get you, and then once the ring goes on, the mask comes off. So there is that too.
Life long bachelor and yes, I did feel some pangs about never marrying and raising a family, however being single is paying it's dividends for me now at 65. I own my home and financially in a good position and wouldn't trade it for a relationship. Great video and insights Holly.
Never been married and have spent the majority of the last 20 years living alone. I love it. As a wise person said to me, I can get more money, but I can’t get more time, who/how I spend my time is very important.
I can relate to your elevator couple story. There’s no greater hell than being married to a miserable “dark cloud” personality type. Once divorced, no more dark clouds, only sunny skies. Life it too short to spend it chained to miserable people.
I heard a song the other day 🎼🎶 from the Fifth Dimension 1970“ one less bell to answer “ and as I was watching this video and reading all these comments it made me realize that 97% that left a comment here are glad they have one less bell to answer, one less egg to fry, one less man to pickup after !!!! Good for you guys and gals go live life make the best of what time we have left ! I believe I’ll go fishing today away from society and just look at God’s beautiful nature he’s created for us ! This lady here has a really good channel kudos to her for putting this content out there !
I'm 70+ and love the freedom of my single life. I rarely feel lonely but can always connect with friends when I do. I love being able to choose in any given moment to make my life what I want it to be and engage in the activities that make me happy. Best wishes to you.
I initiated n divorced at age 60. As an introvert I smile n say “I can’t do what I want, when I want n how I want” which is very freeing not having to be judged or listen to me former husband’s opinion. Life is good.
Yes! I resonated so much my head nearly fell off. I spent decades married to a woman like that elevator man. The ending of that marriage wasn't my choice and I'd have done anything to prevent it, but with hindsight, what a blessing. Never again! The freedom to do what you want, when you want, is priceless. As is peace, which is almost a synonym for solitude. And a home that's a sanctuary.
61 been married twice. Married at 29 divorced at 30. Married again at 39 widoed at 54. Being married was the most lonely miserable time of my life. Alone doesnt mean lonely!
Great video, Holly! You are spot on. A long-lost friend suddenly popped up on FB asking, "Do you have a husband yet?" Society seems to feel sorry for folks who are alone. Or that you should be in partnership. Not so. I don't feel less than. Yes, an opportunity to be in control of your time and life.❤❤
I’m always fascinated by people who assume 1- I’m “looking” , and 2- I’m lonely. Please don’t introduce me to some pitiful grumpy old man! I’m not even interested in a cute one! Relationships are a lot of work. All of the “what does he want/think/like.” Now is my time! My home, friends, dog, garden, family, watercolor, and no one criticizes or slows me down. I have a needy old man in my life (love you Dad!)- I don’t need 2!
Reached out before….64yrs old in January, divorced (she had an affair) in 2023 on what would have been our 33rd wedding anniversary to the day. Had my older sister and my 92yr old Mom and son here for Christmas and they are leaving New Years Day. While I miss her some times, I can’t express how mentally and financially freeing it has been. Life is too short to not own your space, surround yourself with great friends, stay grounded in a Church, take care of those less fortunate, and live an awesome life. Life is Good. Blessings🙏
I don't live alone. I have 2 dogs and a cat. I am happy. It is such a gift to shut the door and take a deep breath. The world is a great place but having a sanctuary is priceless...
I crochet, sew, and make my crafts to sell at craft shows. All the crafters are busy setting up their display when we all hear this elderly man talk so disrespectful to his wife. It was upsetting to everyone around. One lady, next to me actually went up to the man and kindly respectfully called him out on his disturbing behavior. He was mad. It reminded me that living alone is just fine. Peace
Between my soon to be ex husband and I (he's 71 and I'm 69), I am definitely the handiest when it comes to fixing things around the house. That never bothered me since I enjoy doing those types of things and own most of the power tools. However, what I didn't enjoy was him interrupting me right in the middle of a project so I could fix him something to eat! Or drop what I'm doing to help him with something that should be a one person job. This old bird is looking forward to flying solo from now on...uninterrupted!
I'm 60 years old and have been married for 33 years. My husband and I are both artists. He's a musician and I'm a folk artist. We have to have alone time or we wouldn't survive. We have separate rooms/workspaces. We share our bedroom. And we live in Brooklyn so there isn't a lot of space. Also, he is extremely supportive of all of my endeavors. And I am for his. I think living alone sounds very nice too.
This sounds like my situation. I'm 60 and my wife is 55. We've been married 25 years. She has her fun projects (writing, bookclubs) and I have mine (drumming in multiple bands). She's in Europe for the month of January visiting her mother, so we have plenty of healthy time apart.
At age 81, raised as an only child, never married...very used to living alone...well...not quite...my 250-piece frog figurine collection keeps me company!! Kidding aside...I have three good friends in my life...who all also live alone! Right...one can be more alone living with a "mismatch"!!
When you find the right person you will never feel like you have lost your freedom, you will never feel held back you will only wonder how did I survive without this beautiful gift and source of love. Of course death took him away and life alone sucks right now.
I'm 67, retired, and have lived alone -- intentionally -- since college. I enjoy the peace, quiet, serenity, and independence of living with just my beloved dog. I have friends and family with whom to socialize and a very close, high-quality male friend for companionship, dinners, road trips (I also like traveling solo), and mutually exclusive relations. Life has never been more rewarding or less stressful.
A 19 year client of mine died this month at 76. Like clockwork he and his wife went after each other in front of me as though I wasn’t there! Cats and dogs EVERY TIME to the very end. His obituary: One sentence about him being the CEO from 2011 to 2013 of a billion company. And one sentence about having a wife and two sons. Their miserable relationship and his narcissism inspired me to be a better father and husband! He died the poorest rich man that I ever knew. There isn’t even a funeral.
A psychologist from Lincoln, NE, I think her name is Mary Pipher, did extensive research on this question and concluded, if memory serves, that single women in their 60s and 70s are the happiest people in the country. i think the study was published about five or six years ago.
I believe a great marriage is allowing you to feel free to decorate your home the way you like. I am a minimalist and being with a hoarder and an unhappy person would never work.
Living alone is the best thing for me, this side of Heaven. I am like you, my freedom to do as I so please is of essence and I cannot see myself marrying again. A relationship is even so far fetched for me. (LOL). I just turned 60 and seriously living my best life. You talking about PEACE, like a river...that is exactly what I have and not willing to exchange it for an ole miserable man. Ewwe no way!!! Your content is always on point & I thank you for it.
Arguably the worst thing about my marriage was that all of my resources were directed towards a life i didn’t want. All of it. The house in the town we lived in (all about status but super unfriendly), the vacations we took (again, all about status but beyond dull), the restaurants we went to, none of it was my choice. And yet everything i earned went towards paying for it. I’ll never get married again because of this. Happy to date but there’s zero chance my time, energy and resources will be highjacked to fund someone else’s version of a good life. I got out quite young. I’m not at all surprised that grey divorce is a thing. I think a lot of people realize after the kids are gone that they aren’t willing to live with a huge amount of compromise. I’ve heard people say they’d love to travel extensively, have real wanderlust, but their spouse is a homebody and will not travel. So that’s it, they don’t travel. So this one life we have to live, they don’t get to live fully because they are controlled by a spouse who has different ideas. Depresses me even writing that down.
I say, travel anyway. Those who make the decision to cave, do have the opposite choice to not go along with their spouse. Each of us make our choices in life. Hopefully, we get better at this as we age and we can be true to ourselves without guilt.
@@sunshinealways1350 Not possible if all of your resources are being diverted to other things, by that spouse. Ending the relationship takes care of that.
I agree completely. I was married twice, have 4 grown children…now at 62 and single, for the first time I can finally think of myself and do exactly what I want. Society makes you feel like it’s not normal be be alone. But it’s a farce….too many unhappy couples out there to prove otherwise!
I was lucky and started my alone time early 😊I’ve been divorced and living alone since 40 and I LOVE IT !! I got a dog three years ago and he’s a wonderful addition to my life. Its my time now🎉🎉🎉
I'm married to a man like the man you described. I'd rather be alone! I wish I could get away from him! I'm turning 62 in January and I just don't want to spend the remainder of whatever is left of my life with him😢I don't know how to get out of this relationship. I put in for early retirement which is very small and I get it in March. But it's not enough to live alone and I don't know what to do to supplement it and I'm not the type to be on a camera like TH-cam. This relationship is literally making me sick , I married him when I was 47 and it's a huge mistake.
You need to get out. A bad relationship is very taxing on a person’s health. You’ve been together 15 years tho. I can’t imagine it’s always been this bad, or you would’ve gotten out a long time ago. Good luck
You can take early retirement and get a full time or part time job doing something you want and like. Get a small studio apt, get a roommate, move to a more affordable city/state. You’ve been married for over 10 years, you can get % of his SS, retirement.
I'm sorry you're going through this... life is too short to be with someone miserable as he is. Hopefully you can find a solution to leave the marriage and enjoy your life.
Am 58yr old woman and in UK, spent most of my life wanting to be in a relationship, had several long term but nothing permanent obvs.... then just stopped about 5 yrs ago and honestly I love my solitude it is so weird, I never found Mr Right but found many not right guys ..sometimes | want a Hallmark movie love but realistically I never found 'him' so have my own home, own time, can sleep whevever, watch whatever and there is something to be said for being alone at our age x
Thanks for the video. I'm 64 and have always lived alone and like it. Retired early at 55, and only worked part time from 38 onwards. Long nature walks, kayaking, jumping on my ebike, whatever fancies me. Enjoy it, and am never bored or lonely really. (Nice to read the comments and hear how others do life also)
At 66 I was in 2 long term relationships. Death ended them both. I've been on my own for 8 years.At first it was great being alone.Of course the relationships weren't perfect and usually it was me being negative but they both were patient and understanding. I think I'm starting to miss the companionship. I never felt held back from anything.Sometimes,working together on life can be fulfilling. I don't expect that I will ever find that,again. Both of them were exceptional men.
That is a great attitude to have. If a person has a respectful loving companion they have it made. They will be able to rely on each other when times get rough, and times will get rough as we age.
@@sj122s I just posted my comment that is similar to your story. I had many great relationships three were long term. It was me that was not ready to settle down. These well accomplished men were very supportive and caring towards me as I climbed the corporate ladder. I just didn't know when to stop. I hope I find someone with the same values and kindness. I'm not giving up
@@sj122s Looking back now, I feel that both men loved me too much if that’s possible. Meaning they went along with anything that I wanted. My son is now the same way in his marriage. Happy wife, happy life when it should be happy spouse, happy house. Equal partners.
Freedom is priceless. And YES, living alone as I get older is extremely liberating because there's nobody around to limit (dictate) what you can or cannot do with whatever time you have left to follow your own dreams and adventures. Don't think I could ever compromise or surrender my time and life/space - not even for a billionaire. I just can't or won't share my FREEDOM!!!!!!
67 and separated at 56..its taken me all these years to buy my own unit at present im painting it exactly how I want no more being told I have no taste so my opinion isn't needed...I'm loving making it my place.
I can't fathom, at 67, going back to compromising and keeping my mouth shut to keep my thoughts to myself. I like to break out in song and don't want anyone to judge me for that.
I’m 66 and spent 18 years with a man who I was not compatible with on a value-based level. I was criticized constantly for not fitting into his life space of living in a low income area or spending my money to live comfortably. I’m so sad that all I meet are people who i don’t connect with physically or intellectually. They are either MAGA or bohemian…nothing in the middle. The dating apps are horrible. Romantic relationships are for other people. I must be an enigma.😥💔
I love sharing life with my hubby. It's a blessing to share the happy times as well as the hard times with someone you love and who loves you. We each have our own rooms where we can go and be by ourselves. He travels some with his work and we have some time a part. But, if I outlive my husband I have told him I will NOT remarry. I have no interest in starting over with someone else.
Hi, I lifted a 32 year old marriage for the same behavior you saw in the New York. I am 62 and decided I did not want to live my remaining years in a stressful and unhappy daily life.
These tips are great if you are alone due to divorce or widowhood. Personally, I am happily married for 48 years and my husband and I do things together but also give the other the space to pursue their own interests. I was alone for 7 years after my firs t husband left me years ago and did not enjoy being alone. I guess everyone has their own path and desires.
I'm 55 years old, and living the single vanlife. I love this lifestyle, and appreciate mostly everything about it. However; the longer I do it, the more I realize that the greatest fulfillment in life to to love others more than focusing on SELF. Yes, it's important to focus on our own mental health by sometimes isolating, independence, self growth, etc......But it's also important to let LOVE be our moral compass. Not love for self, but love for others . This single independent lifestyle has just as many disadvantages as advantages. (For me anyway) I think we all need to love and be loved.
I have been married for almost 30 years and I completely agree with the fact that it is wonderful... to have the freedom of being single, not only in terms of time management but also in a lot of other areas.
I get what you’re saying after losing my wife approximately 2years age to cancer and now 67 back then very freaked out that I wasn’t sure I could handle being alone after being married 30 years but as time has gone by I have concluded I enjoy being on my own
The freedom of not letting my then-husband of 28 years know what I was doing and where I was in my house to the point that I had to let him know if I was going to the bathroom was total liberation !! Never again
"Youth of our senior years..." This is a great term and thank you for this video. I wholeheartedly agree that I would not want to spend time acquiescing to someone whose needs I constantly had to cater to. The grumpy guy in the elevator is the perfect example. My experience has been that many people will usurp your energy if you allow it. When possible, don't allow it. (I realize this may not be possible in work situations, etc.) I live alone and I really enjoy it. I am at peace. If I found someone who I clicked with, I would consider living with them, but I think it would a unique person/situation at this point in my life. I've lived alone for 20 years.
I’m 62, my husband is 79. Because he had a stroke 4 years ago I can’t in good conscience divorce him as he has some cognitive challenges. Physically he recovered but he wouldn’t have anywhere to go if we divorced. But we live as roommates… we do everything separately and come and go as we please. We cook, do laundry, clean, etc. separately. There are still challenges but it’s the best I can do for now. I do long to be single and to be able to live alone. I have no desire to have another relationship ever.
I love my wife and we have lots of fun together but I wouldn’t marry again if something were to happen. I would prefer to be alone. I don't think I could come up a winner twice. I would just savor what we had and be satisfied with the memories.
I sound like I could be that woman on the elevator. And my husband has been known to cheat on me. I’m 66, he’s 69, been married 45 years. It’s hard work to be happy when you live with a grouch. He blames me for his misery. Evidently I have never lived up to his expectations but he’s Prince Charming!?! I dream about having my own place, a quaint little condo with space for my home office and crafting and my little parakeet. I just want to die happy.
Was married just shy of 40 yrs. A care giver for the last 16 yrs for her 24/7 until she passed 3 months ago. Now I have time for ME. Was it tough yes, but I do miss her every day, but I can do what I want….anytime. Happy New Year!
Amen!!! I’m almost 54 & I’ve been( completely )single for over 6 years & I treasure that I’m in charge of my own life,I thank God every day I do not share my life with a miserable human of a partner any longer!!
I’m the opposite. I’ve been married to a very wonderful man over 56 years. Is it not perfect, of course, we are very different. I can say he supports my hopes and dreams. As I do his, and understands I need time to myself, as does he. Yes, being alone can be wonderful. However, I can hardly stand the thought of one of us being without the other. We share memories and adore spending time with our kids and grandchildren. We travel and share our thoughts at the end of the day. So I hear what you’re saying, but my life has been different. I treasure that I found someone who is supportive and respectful of me. It’s definitely had its ups and downs, but now at 72, glad we are here for each other. I love him more now than when we first met. ❤
I totally resonate! We need to be friends 😁 spending my free time painting and drawing, Pilates on sundaymorning.. how would I incorporate that in datinglife😄. So far I decided I just don’t want to. And no.. society doesn’t has to feel sorry for us. We are doing great, thank you very much! Have a great New Years! Kind regards from the Netherlands , Monique
Eckhart Tolle and Kim Eng are excellent example of married couple who still maintain individuality thru solitude by sharing separate apartments in same building - worth a listen to Kim when she shares on her and Eckhart’s relationship and how not to be codependent in relationship. 🙏
I'm 63 divorced twice. You'd think I learn something. Anyway being alone is the final stage to cope with in the divorce process. Divorceies, including me can tend to cling to the thought that someone is just around the corner. But it's not true. Learning to be alone is not easy at first, but given time. And the realization that time and life is short. I still love and care about people. But marriage is for young families, kids. And all the challenges that come with that. I'm now reaching a point of not searching or caring if anything happens. It's great. Looking forward to some travel and stuff. Keep an open mind. Great conversation sister 😅. We could be friends. 💙💥
I love my life! I'm 59 years old and I've been single for 20 years. I'm also a Children's book author and watercolor artist. I hope you enjoy watercolor painting as much as I do! All the best! Happy 2025!
When my last child left home few years ago now I got so depressed and lonely Lived with a partner not repeating that one but now love living alone i enjoy and value my space also not having to share a bed well expect with my 2 fur babies Love your channel Holly ❤️ Happy New year 🎉 🥂🕊
I am a pretty content female boomer. I’ve been divorced 24 years. I have many friends, and hobbies and 3 wonderful grandchildren. But it Is a couples’ world. It absolutely is. My married friends do not invite me to go out with them on a Saturday night. It’s couples only. The only time I see my married girlfriends for dinner, are if their husbands are busy or out of town. Otherwise we do lunch. It’s truly unreal. But that’s how it is.
I so loved this video, there are so many people that just dont get this. I am in my 60’s and live alone, I might be solo but I am not alone. I have invested myself in great friendships and although Im not married , I travel and am involved in several different friend groups. I love my freedom and I cant imagine surrendering that. I think we need to shift our thinking about living solo- it doesn’t mean you are alone- create the life and friendships that you want. Thanks for putting this out there.
some people need people some don't. I think today it is much easier to talk into a screen but when you are older most folks are stuck in their ways. It all depends on who you are. I enjoy solitude personally, and enjoy your perspective. But there is a stigma about the older single person. I enjoy it.
I hope I'm not alone when I'm old. Some couples think just because they are married or live together they have to be together all the time. These days people want their space and couples can do their own thing but still have someone to share their life with when it's time to be together.
When you get older...you might not know what you want, but you sure know what you DON'T want! As for realizing how valuable the time you have left is...well people might people might have a sense of it, but l suspect most people are still wasting that time.
You're completely right. Very difficult to be creative and energetic when you live with someone negative 🙆 Being alone is not being lonely, but we only understand this later in life. Perhaps this is part of human condition. Or... this is a privilege of our western culture. With technology and some gadgets, and our minds still sane, we can live alone and do what we want. I'm trying to get the best of it, be creative, useful, healthy and flexibly adapting 🙋
Happy that being alone works for you. Seeing unhappy people who are stuck together makes me sad because I got lucky that I'm with my wife which is also my best friend. We met later in life (@ 45) and I'm almost 62 now. We have fun together and alone doing what we both love. Less time in front so no more to waste. I know we both don't really compromise as we both do what we want and ask each other what we will be doing that day or that week. We always find the right thing to do together. Finally got lucky and I wish this to everyone. And she's stunning as well and 63, married for 15 years now! When both love each other, everything falls in the right place. Everything you said loving to do alone, we do the same as a couple. Never boring. If it wasn't a good relationship, I'd be alone for sure. Been there, done that. I understand alone but being with the right person, nothing feels better than that.
Today is my 48th anniversary.... waking up to my husband already off to work & a lovely handwritten card from him. I do feel we are lucky to have found each other at 19/20 yrs, damaged, yet wanting better for ourselves and willing to leave family to go pursue it. Yet even so, as we approach retirement and being together 24/7 I do believe another adjustment will need to happen.... but we've been making adjustments for the past 48 years! We've long given up mentors because there are none, and have been forging our own path in this married life. This channel brings up many good points..... some of which I will bring up at our celebration dinner tonite! Communication I think is key to everything & brings you closer.... it's work but comes more natural after half a century, and keeps the intimacy alive. I don't think I'd give up that intimacy for anything. If one can't be happily married, I'm glad so many can be happily alone.... to each their own!
I must have hit the jackpot because I love spending so much time with my husband of 43 years. Yet I'm glad to know solitude is enjoyed by many, since I often worry about my senior Mom who lives alone. Although she's more of social butterfly than I am, with constant contact with others. Anyway, interesting topic and viewpoint.
Well, my life as been flipped flopped from the norm, I married in my 50’s and I never grew so much in my life as I did in this relationship. You have to have the right person in your life to make it wonderful. What really worked out is having more time to myself because he does so much for the house that I decorate. 🤣😂🤣Bottom line you have to have a sense of self going into any relationship. Someone who respects your space and need for solitude as you need to respect theres. Being single most of my, life has taught me to enjoy my own company. Now that I am married I have someone to enjoy my own company with, as I enjoy his. Heaven forbid something happen to one of us, since we are both in pur 60’s I feel we can carry on and still enjoy life to the fullest🙏
I am not senior yet, I am 52, but I live alone for more than 3 years, since my adult daughter moved out to live on her own. Living alone has advantages and disadvantages, but those "cons" kind of depend on many factors. Are you comfortable being alone sometimes days in a row? Do you have someone to help you if you get sick? Can you manage it financially? And mostly other practical things. Advantages are that you can do whatever the heck you want, you don't depend on anyone else's plans or mood, you can make plans on your own and don't have to get any permissions... in general it depends on personality. Some people just don't like to be alone, and that's ok too.
57 yo divorced in 2010. Begrudgingly have ended up single but surprisingly, I LOVE IT!!!! I had my awakening in 2019, and my peaceful life has no bounds! I will never remarry as dont want to lose half of my pension. Stopped online dating after ten years. Have no desire to go back. I love my life and the freedom I have. I feel like this marriage thing is a big lie, lol. Why is it so emphasized? I dont know if people can find themselves when married. Im not saying they can't. I just wonder. So many distractions. I love this channel as I realize I'm not the only one feeling this way. ❤
I lived alone after relationships ended. Couldn't believe how much i came to enjoy and appreciate the lifestyle. I didn't think I'd ever live with anyone again.. Then i met my life partner at 62. Four years later and now we're planning to move in together but have figured out how we're each going to have our solitude. Its important to each of us. Really enjoy your content ❤
I am married & I wish we didn't live in the same house. I was happier living on my own & keeping my house exactly how I like it. Often I can't sleep at night. I wake up at 4 am, drink my coffee and work in my home office. I am retired. Of course I think of getting out of my relationship because we have nothing in common.
Joanna..... Thanks for sharing! We just doing routine here I guess hu. I know what your saying here, also up at 4 here in the morning and live a quiet routine married life myself. Thought it was just me in silence.
I resonate with this 100 percent. I left my husband 3 months ago for the very reason. I'm so happy! Everything revolved around him. His negativity, his anger. His hobbies, how we spent money, trips we took, or didn't take. No matter how much I spoke up and he would say he would do better, it just never happened. I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life like that. So at 64 I'm on my own, and I've never been more at peace. I'm an artist, and have many creative hobbies, I also love thrifting. I enjoy only cooking for myself, cleaning up after myself. I love being alone, and when I don't want to be, i see friends and family. ❤
@carnitaEilertson, Oh Yes!! ... Thank you so much for speaking on this issue!! .. I am also enjoying myself immensely!! .. Whew! .. I see so many unhappy couples. Usually the man is only interested in what his needs are!! .. I love my life now!! .. You Rock!! 🥰
We could be best friends.
Sounds like you are carving out a wonderful life for yourself, congratulations!
Congrats on taking control of your life!
Well done, and enjoy your freedom. Happy New Year!x
I am 72 and love being by myself. When I was married I often felt lonely.
Me too. The only time I felt lonely was when I was married.
There is nothing worse than being in a relationship and feeling lonely.
That's heavy, and I understand. I used to think, "How am I going to get out of this." I would never want to be in the position, again.
There are many who are in this position but not everyone. It is unfortunate to be married and feeling lonely, it means the mind of two people isn't with each other even though the body is in the same space. What brings anyone closer to another is the mind and everything that is shared with it, the body follows. When the mind is absent obviously it doesn't matter right, the body is just the capsule that will be discarded just like the shuttle that leaves behind the booster upon leaving one sphere and enters another.
@@janethilkemann1790 Wow! Thank you for being so honest and saying this...I have never heard anyone say this. Thank you
I’m 61 and about to be divorced. I’m living in my van, but I’m so grateful to have my time and freedom back.
Hopefully this is a temporary living situation for you. Please be safe.
Edit: My apologies... please take care 🙏.
I'm 65, recently seperated and also live in my van. I am currently traveling through the southeast. It's great to be able to go where I want but it does get lonely because I'm away from my friends. I needed to travel, #1 to get out of the cold (from NY) and #2 to try and discover myself again
@@robincraft4682 thank you
Yes, enjoy your freedom n not having to listen to your husband’s opinion. I divorced at 60 and do not regret it 2 years later. We deserve to be happy in our 60s n beyond.
I wish you luck 🍀
Im 63, on my own for a couple of years, sitting in bed drinking coffee and watching this yt vid, my dog and cat curled up beside me... it's a little bit of bliss...and i have no one to judge me for it!
Sounds like my bliss!
I get it goldfinch. I mean who don't like coffee in the bed.....right 😉😊. We all like what we like and no one wants to be told what to do. Thanks for sharing.
Good for you! I was married and learning how to enjoy and use my time wisely.
Solitude is priceless. Good for you. There is so much peace being by yourself.
I’ve spent my entire life giving and doing for others. First it was school, nursing school, my patients, my husband, my children, parents, etc. I’m DONE! This is my time. I have finished. I’ve crossed the finish line. I now live alone in a beautiful apartment in a wonderful new city. I’m so happy doing exactly what I enjoy doing. No guilt; I feel I’ve earned this privilege. I’m thankful to God that He has allowed me the strength, health and sanity to live alone and feel content and happy. I’m comfortable and happy with myself. It still excites me that I have no one to which I answer. I’m loving my new life! May God grant me a long, healthy, happy time to rediscover myself and my own ways of being happy!
@nurseshark10 I COMPLETELY AGREE! WE are DONE!!!
@, Yes! It’s our turn now!
That';s great.
I’m a nurse and I had the same life. I’m done as well. My kids can take care of themselves. I’m letting go of worrying about my grandkids. They will be fine. I’m so happy you rescued you.
Sounds like you have carved out a wonderful life! Thank you so much for sharing
I'm 64 and have lived alone my entire life. I never even had a roommate, and my family live in different states. I relish my privacy and never feel lonely. I do what I want, when I want, how I want. And I never need to consider the needs of other people around me. It would freak me out to hear a key in the door or find items not where I left them! I feel incredibly lucky to be self-sufficient and able to manage on my own.
I'm 67, retired, and have lived alone -- intentionally -- since college. I enjoy the peace, quiet, serenity, and independence of living with just my beloved dog. I have nothing against marriage; it's just not for me. I have friends and family with whom to socialize and a very close, high-quality male friend for companionship, dinners, road trips, and mutually exclusive relations. I feel like the luckiest person in the world.
I’ve lived alone for 11 years since my husband died and had never lived alone before. I never knew how much I would love it. I’ve been having to stay with my daughter and her husband for 5 months due to flooding on my condo…it is very difficult even though it’s temporary but I miss my alone time. Never ever want to live with anyone again!
That's why I got rid of my ex.. lol love my alone time. I have 3 cats.. love my freedom!
Hum, I've been married for over 43 years. We have our issues from time to time just like any other couple, but I can't imagine living without her. Since we're in our 60's, we have to make sure each other is taken care of since our days of making money and creating wealth, are gone. We need each other.
sounds wonderful.. you're really going to need each other especially as you age..
The algorithm brought me to you for the first time. I am unmarried at 54. I have to say i love being single. While i live w my elderly father and young adult(ish ) daughter.. i can relate completely to what you speak to. I felt alone and miserable while in a toxic relationship and while there are times when i long for companionship , overall i am grateful for my autonomy and peace. Not having to manage a grown man's moods and etc. It's just so freeing, peaceful. Thank you.
I absolutely love living alone,62 and love the life I’m living ❤️❤️
I love my husband so much. We have a great life together. We travel the world and work together together to make a great life for us and our adult children. My husband is a positive and fit person.
I have a feeling that you are in the minority. None of my friends are happily married. You picked well.
So you are not alone?
Wow; he must have no underlying desperation.
@@krisb.5327 I envy that! I wish my ex was that forever person but after a while the issues were just too much.
@@krisb.5327All very important to surviving and enjoying a long term relationship into your 60s/70s. I'm curious...is intimacy and sex still important to you guys? It can be sad and disheartening when it is for one and not the other.
I got divorced when I was 39 years old. I'm now 73 and am still enjoying my time! I travel where I want to go. Decorated my home the way I want. Prepare meals that I want, go where I want to go. I can go to bed and read instead of sitting with him watching mindless TV. I love my alone time and thinking about starting a yourtube channel
Starting a YOU-Tube channel means sharing your mind with many more people and making something out of it as well.
I divorced at 40 and I’m 65 now. I agree with everything you said. This is my life and I have molded it how I want. Good for you that you are enjoying your life too!
Go for it!!
I’m 65 and truly enjoy living alone. I make my own decisions and I can do what I want. I can’t imagine having to compromise anymore. ❤
I totally agree. Me either!
Hi - I stumbled upon your channel and I love it! I've been divorced for 22 years and retired for 7 and I love being alone. My home is my sanctuary and my time and my money is mine to do with as I please. When I visit my siblings, and witness the hostility and nastiness in their relationships I am so thankful to be single. We have been fed the unrealistic ideal that marriage is for life and you just have to endure it. Not in this day and age! Don't apologize for loving yourself and your freedom - we have found a hard-earned and well-deserved secret to happiness.
Ditto to everything you just mentioned. I have been divorced for 20 years, not retired yet, but it is on my mind. I too, am so unapologetic for loving myself. It is my time now & I act like it is! I am so so thankful for this PEACE of mind that exist in my life. No better atmosphere for me!
Well said, thank you
My mother who truly believed it was all about having a man still complained in her old age about not being able to come and go as she pleased being the caregiver for my Dad.
I’ve been divorced twice. No part of either marriage brought me happiness or joy. Second marriage was entirely about his needs 24/7 and I lost myself. I am now fully single and the happiest I have ever been and the most fulfilled. Yes, solitude is a very good thing! 😊
Yes you are absolutely spot on about being alone. I am 72 and living in a relationship where my my wife was an alcoholic was unbelievable. Being alone is hard but it beats what I was going through. You are definitely better off like you said about just remaining alone the rest of your life.
Thanks for sharing!
I'm 66 years young and have been divorced since my late 20's. That was a miserable (abusive) marriage and I never remarried. I never trusted anyone enough to take that leap. I'm content in being alone, doing all the things you mentioned anytime I want or not want. I can't see giving that up for anyone. Men typically die sooner than women so we're alone later on anyway. I respect those who are happy in their marriages, and I'm happy for them. I have friends who have married 4 and 5 times. I don't believe in multiple marriages. Something tells me that the person doesn't know how to select the right partner. Some people rush into marriage because they hate being alone. My mom always wanted me to be remarried. She said I was too picky. I told her the that's the problem; women (and some men) aren't picky enough. Happy New Year!
I was married four times. You are right.Bad picker here. People often lie about who they are in order to get you, and then once the ring goes on, the mask comes off. So there is that too.
Small house.... That's exactly the truth...
my mom always takes my husband side wow
Life long bachelor and yes, I did feel some pangs about never marrying and raising a family, however being single is paying it's dividends for me now at 65. I own my home and financially in a good position and wouldn't trade it for a relationship. Great video and insights Holly.
Never been married and have spent the majority of the last 20 years living alone. I love it. As a wise person said to me, I can get more money, but I can’t get more time, who/how I spend my time is very important.
“More frequently, time is a more valuable coin than is money.” Dwight D. Eisenhower
I can relate to your elevator couple story. There’s no greater hell than being married to a miserable “dark cloud” personality type. Once divorced, no more dark clouds, only sunny skies. Life it too short to spend it chained to miserable people.
I am 66 my wife passed away 2 years ago and I went to Vermont for a month by myself and I have no problem being alone. I like it.
I heard a song the other day 🎼🎶 from the Fifth Dimension 1970“ one less bell to answer “ and as I was watching this video and reading all these comments it made me realize that 97% that left a comment here are glad they have one less bell to answer, one less egg to fry, one less man to pickup after !!!! Good for you guys and gals go live life make the best of what time we have left ! I believe I’ll go fishing today away from society and just look at God’s beautiful nature he’s created for us ! This lady here has a really good channel kudos to her for putting this content out there !
Love the song comparison! Have fun fishing!
why do men think we are here to serve them?
@@deborahp-q3w I was just referring to that song I heard that came out in 1970 !
I am 72 years old and live alone. I have lost two hubby’s to cancer, not looking for anyone. You are right, can do what I want 🥰🥰🥰
I'm 70+ and love the freedom of my single life. I rarely feel lonely but can always connect with friends when I do. I love being able to choose in any given moment to make my life what I want it to be and engage in the activities that make me happy. Best wishes to you.
I initiated n divorced at age 60. As an introvert I smile n say “I can’t do what I want, when I want n how I want” which is very freeing not having to be judged or listen to me former husband’s opinion. Life is good.
I am 63, married 38 years. The first thing about being alone, when I get a chance was not having anyone ask me what’s for dinner. LOlz 😂
Lol Linda....too funny ha ha....I bet so.
@@lindatohara6438 you can change that if you want
This feels like a community it is lovely
I was thinking the same thing.
Yay! That's exactly how I want it to feel!!
Yes! I resonated so much my head nearly fell off.
I spent decades married to a woman like that elevator man. The ending of that marriage wasn't my choice and I'd have done anything to prevent it, but with hindsight, what a blessing. Never again!
The freedom to do what you want, when you want, is priceless. As is peace, which is almost a synonym for solitude. And a home that's a sanctuary.
Seriously, I feel like I have been in indentured servitude for the last 36 years. I will relish every instant of my newfound freedom.
I love living alone! Never lonely, always busy. 🎉
61 been married twice. Married at 29 divorced at 30. Married again at 39 widoed at 54. Being married was the most lonely miserable time of my life. Alone doesnt mean lonely!
Great video, Holly! You are spot on. A long-lost friend suddenly popped up on FB asking, "Do you have a husband yet?" Society seems to feel sorry for folks who are alone. Or that you should be in partnership. Not so. I don't feel less than. Yes, an opportunity to be in control of your time and life.❤❤
I’m always fascinated by people who assume 1- I’m “looking” , and 2- I’m lonely. Please don’t introduce me to some pitiful grumpy old man! I’m not even interested in a cute one! Relationships are a lot of work. All of the “what does he want/think/like.” Now is my time! My home, friends, dog, garden, family, watercolor, and no one criticizes or slows me down. I have a needy old man in my life (love you Dad!)- I don’t need 2!
I would reply, "No, thank goodness",LOL
Reached out before….64yrs old in January, divorced (she had an affair) in 2023 on what would have been our 33rd wedding anniversary to the day. Had my older sister and my 92yr old Mom and son here for Christmas and they are leaving New Years Day. While I miss her some times, I can’t express how mentally and financially freeing it has been. Life is too short to not own your space, surround yourself with great friends, stay grounded in a Church, take care of those less fortunate, and live an awesome life. Life is Good. Blessings🙏
I'm hitting 64 in January, also. Happy Birthday!
Amen
Good for you! The right attitude for sure!
@@workinprogress3609Happy Birthday to you!
Thank you so much for sharing.
I don't live alone. I have 2 dogs and a cat. I am happy. It is such a gift to shut the door and take a deep breath. The world is a great place but having a sanctuary is priceless...
Totally agree!
I crochet, sew, and make my crafts to sell at craft shows. All the crafters are busy setting up their display when we all hear this elderly man talk so disrespectful to his wife. It was upsetting to everyone around. One lady, next to me actually went up to the man and kindly respectfully called him out on his disturbing behavior. He was mad. It reminded me that living alone is just fine. Peace
Between my soon to be ex husband and I (he's 71 and I'm 69), I am definitely the handiest when it comes to fixing things around the house. That never bothered me since I enjoy doing those types of things and own most of the power tools. However, what I didn't enjoy was him interrupting me right in the middle of a project so I could fix him something to eat! Or drop what I'm doing to help him with something that should be a one person job. This old bird is looking forward to flying solo from now on...uninterrupted!
Lol this! My soon to be ex husband called last week to ask my how to mop the floors! I kid you not! He's 70!
@ Mine won’t even try to mop 😂
@@CarnitaEilertson I would tell him to google it,LOL
Best of luck in your new life!
I'm 60 years old and have been married for 33 years. My husband and I are both artists. He's a musician and I'm a folk artist. We have to have alone time or we wouldn't survive. We have separate rooms/workspaces. We share our bedroom. And we live in Brooklyn so there isn't a lot of space. Also, he is extremely supportive of all of my endeavors. And I am for his. I think living alone sounds very nice too.
This sounds like my situation. I'm 60 and my wife is 55. We've been married 25 years. She has her fun projects (writing, bookclubs) and I have mine (drumming in multiple bands). She's in Europe for the month of January visiting her mother, so we have plenty of healthy time apart.
Sounds like the wife and I Tina and am good with not being crowded 😊. You sound like a cool person yourself, Thanks ;)
Peace is priceless
At age 81, raised as an only child, never married...very used to living alone...well...not quite...my 250-piece frog figurine collection keeps me company!! Kidding aside...I have three good friends in my life...who all also live alone! Right...one can be more alone living with a "mismatch"!!
When you find the right person you will never feel like you have lost your freedom, you will never feel held back you will only wonder how did I survive without this beautiful gift and source of love. Of course death took him away and life alone sucks right now.
I am sorry for your loss. Life will get less sucky as you create a new life for yourself.
I'm so sorry for your loss and what you are going through right now.
You were one of the lucky ones; I truly believe most of us do not find that one person, and end up settling.
So sorry for your loss 🙏
I'm 67, retired, and have lived alone -- intentionally -- since college. I enjoy the peace, quiet, serenity, and independence of living with just my beloved dog. I have friends and family with whom to socialize and a very close, high-quality male friend for companionship, dinners, road trips (I also like traveling solo), and mutually exclusive relations. Life has never been more rewarding or less stressful.
A 19 year client of mine died this month at 76. Like clockwork he and his wife went after each other in front of me as though I wasn’t there! Cats and dogs EVERY TIME to the very end. His obituary: One sentence about him being the CEO from 2011 to 2013 of a billion company. And one sentence about having a wife and two sons. Their miserable relationship and his narcissism inspired me to be a better father and husband! He died the poorest rich man that I ever knew. There isn’t even a funeral.
There’s pros and cons to alot of things. I guess it just depends on how each person wants to live. Hope everyone enjoys what time they have left 🌸
A psychologist from Lincoln, NE, I think her name is Mary Pipher, did extensive research on this question and concluded, if memory serves, that single women in their 60s and 70s are the happiest people in the country. i think the study was published about five or six years ago.
Interesting! I will try to research that
I believe a great marriage is allowing you to feel free to decorate your home the way you like. I am a minimalist and being with a hoarder and an unhappy person would never work.
Living alone is the best thing for me, this side of Heaven. I am like you, my freedom to do as I so please is of essence and I cannot see myself marrying again. A relationship is even so far fetched for me. (LOL). I just turned 60 and seriously living my best life. You talking about PEACE, like a river...that is exactly what I have and not willing to exchange it for an ole miserable man. Ewwe no way!!! Your content is always on point & I thank you for it.
Thank you so much!!
Arguably the worst thing about my marriage was that all of my resources were directed towards a life i didn’t want. All of it. The house in the town we lived in (all about status but super unfriendly), the vacations we took (again, all about status but beyond dull), the restaurants we went to, none of it was my choice. And yet everything i earned went towards paying for it. I’ll never get married again because of this. Happy to date but there’s zero chance my time, energy and resources will be highjacked to fund someone else’s version of a good life. I got out quite young. I’m not at all surprised that grey divorce is a thing. I think a lot of people realize after the kids are gone that they aren’t willing to live with a huge amount of compromise. I’ve heard people say they’d love to travel extensively, have real wanderlust, but their spouse is a homebody and will not travel. So that’s it, they don’t travel. So this one life we have to live, they don’t get to live fully because they are controlled by a spouse who has different ideas. Depresses me even writing that down.
Dang! Depressing reading it too! So many people just suck all the fun out of life. Best wishes to you!
I say, travel anyway. Those who make the decision to cave, do have the opposite choice to not go along with their spouse. Each of us make our choices in life. Hopefully, we get better at this as we age and we can be true to ourselves without guilt.
@@sunshinealways1350 Not possible if all of your resources are being diverted to other things, by that spouse. Ending the relationship takes care of that.
Well said, thank you so much for sharing
I agree completely. I was married twice, have 4 grown children…now at 62 and single, for the first time I can finally think of myself and do exactly what I want. Society makes you feel like it’s not normal be be alone. But it’s a farce….too many unhappy couples out there to prove otherwise!
I was lucky and started my alone time early 😊I’ve been divorced and living alone since 40 and I LOVE IT !! I got a dog three years ago and he’s a wonderful addition to my life. Its my time now🎉🎉🎉
I'm married to a man like the man you described. I'd rather be alone! I wish I could get away from him! I'm turning 62 in January and I just don't want to spend the remainder of whatever is left of my life with him😢I don't know how to get out of this relationship. I put in for early retirement which is very small and I get it in March. But it's not enough to live alone and I don't know what to do to supplement it and I'm not the type to be on a camera like TH-cam. This relationship is literally making me sick , I married him when I was 47 and it's a huge mistake.
Older ladies need a "Golden Girls" friends/ roommates app more than we need a dating app.
You need to get out. A bad relationship is very taxing on a person’s health. You’ve been together 15 years tho. I can’t imagine it’s always been this bad, or you would’ve gotten out a long time ago. Good luck
You can take early retirement and get a full time or part time job doing something you want and like. Get a small studio apt, get a roommate, move to a more affordable city/state. You’ve been married for over 10 years, you can get % of his SS, retirement.
I'm sorry you're going through this... life is too short to be with someone miserable as he is. Hopefully you can find a solution to leave the marriage and enjoy your life.
@robincraft4682 thank you
Am 58yr old woman and in UK, spent most of my life wanting to be in a relationship, had several long term but nothing permanent obvs.... then just stopped about 5 yrs ago and honestly I love my solitude it is so weird, I never found Mr Right but found many not right guys ..sometimes | want a Hallmark movie love but realistically I never found 'him' so have my own home, own time, can sleep whevever, watch whatever and there is something to be said for being alone at our age x
Agree! 🤗
You found the love of your life, yourself!
Thanks for the video. I'm 64 and have always lived alone and like it. Retired early at 55, and only worked part time from 38 onwards. Long nature walks, kayaking, jumping on my ebike, whatever fancies me. Enjoy it, and am never bored or lonely really. (Nice to read the comments and hear how others do life also)
Hearing this post....was like a Christmas gift! Thank you for taking the time to offer these thoughts.
How are you doing Joy.
At 66 I was in 2 long term relationships. Death ended them both. I've been on my own for 8 years.At first it was great being alone.Of course the relationships weren't perfect and usually it was me being negative but they both were patient and understanding. I think I'm starting to miss the companionship. I never felt held back from anything.Sometimes,working together on life can be fulfilling. I don't expect that I will ever find that,again. Both of them were exceptional men.
That is a great attitude to have. If a person has a respectful loving companion they have it made. They will be able to rely on each other when times get rough, and times will get rough as we age.
@@sj122s I just posted my comment that is similar to your story. I had many great relationships three were long term. It was me that was not ready to settle down. These well accomplished men were very supportive and caring towards me as I climbed the corporate ladder. I just didn't know when to stop. I hope I find someone with the same values and kindness. I'm not giving up
@@sj122s
Looking back now, I feel that both men loved me too much if that’s possible. Meaning they went along with anything that I wanted. My son is now the same way in his marriage. Happy wife, happy life when it should be happy spouse, happy house. Equal partners.
Freedom is priceless. And YES, living alone as I get older is extremely liberating because there's nobody around to limit (dictate) what you can or cannot do with whatever time you have left to follow your own dreams and adventures. Don't think I could ever compromise or surrender my time and life/space - not even for a billionaire. I just can't or won't share my FREEDOM!!!!!!
Freedom --- absolutely. Men are MUCH more in need of a partner. This is part of the problem in having one.
💯 agree! Love being on my own after 20 years in a toxic, rollercoaster relationship.
Good for you for breaking that off! So much peace and joy awaits! Here’s to 2025.
67 and separated at 56..its taken me all these years to buy my own unit at present im painting it exactly how I want no more being told I have no taste so my opinion isn't needed...I'm loving making it my place.
Thank you for this video. It is especially helpful during the holidays.
I can't fathom, at 67, going back to compromising and keeping my mouth shut to keep my thoughts to myself. I like to break out in song and don't want anyone to judge me for that.
I’m 66 and spent 18 years with a man who I was not compatible with on a value-based level. I was criticized constantly for not fitting into his life space of living in a low income area or spending my money to live comfortably. I’m so sad that all I meet are people who i don’t connect with physically or intellectually. They are either MAGA or bohemian…nothing in the middle. The dating apps are horrible. Romantic relationships are for other people. I must be an enigma.😥💔
I love sharing life with my hubby. It's a blessing to share the happy times as well as the hard times with someone you love and who loves you. We each have our own rooms where we can go and be by ourselves. He travels some with his work and we have some time a part. But, if I outlive my husband I have told him I will NOT remarry. I have no interest in starting over with someone else.
Hi, I lifted a 32 year old marriage for the same behavior you saw in the New York. I am 62 and decided I did not want to live my remaining years in a stressful and unhappy daily life.
Thanks!
That's so sweet and Kind of you Sarah.
Thank you so much!! Happy New Year!
" I have my own ideas about decorating and it involves a lot of thrifting." I felt that.
These tips are great if you are alone due to divorce or widowhood. Personally, I am happily married for 48 years and my husband and I do things together but also give the other the space to pursue their own interests. I was alone for 7 years after my firs t husband left me years ago and did not enjoy being alone. I guess everyone has their own path and desires.
I'm 55 years old, and living the single vanlife. I love this lifestyle, and appreciate mostly everything about it. However; the longer I do it, the more I realize that the greatest fulfillment in life to to love others more than focusing on SELF. Yes, it's important to focus on our own mental health by sometimes isolating, independence, self growth, etc......But it's also important to let LOVE be our moral compass. Not love for self, but love for others . This single independent lifestyle has just as many disadvantages as advantages. (For me anyway) I think we all need to love and be loved.
I agree
I have been married for almost 30 years and I completely agree with the fact that it is wonderful... to have the freedom of being single, not only in terms of time management but also in a lot of other areas.
I get what you’re saying after losing my wife approximately 2years age to cancer and now 67 back then very freaked out that I wasn’t sure I could handle being alone after being married 30 years but as time has gone by I have concluded I enjoy being on my own
The freedom of not letting my then-husband of 28 years know what I was doing and where I was in my house to the point that I had to let him know if I was going to the bathroom was total liberation !! Never again
It's a last gasp at true freedom.
"Youth of our senior years..." This is a great term and thank you for this video. I wholeheartedly agree that I would not want to spend time acquiescing to someone whose needs I constantly had to cater to. The grumpy guy in the elevator is the perfect example. My experience has been that many people will usurp your energy if you allow it. When possible, don't allow it. (I realize this may not be possible in work situations, etc.) I live alone and I really enjoy it. I am at peace. If I found someone who I clicked with, I would consider living with them, but I think it would a unique person/situation at this point in my life. I've lived alone for 20 years.
Yes! I love being alone and single.
56 and never been happier.
I’m 62, my husband is 79. Because he had a stroke 4 years ago I can’t in good conscience divorce him as he has some cognitive challenges. Physically he recovered but he wouldn’t have anywhere to go if we divorced. But we live as roommates… we do everything separately and come and go as we please. We cook, do laundry, clean, etc. separately. There are still challenges but it’s the best I can do for now. I do long to be single and to be able to live alone. I have no desire to have another relationship ever.
I love my wife and we have lots of fun together but I wouldn’t marry again if something were to happen. I would prefer to be alone. I don't think I could come up a winner twice. I would just savor what we had and be satisfied with the memories.
Sweet
I sound like I could be that woman on the elevator. And my husband has been known to cheat on me. I’m 66, he’s 69, been married 45 years. It’s hard work to be happy when you live with a grouch. He blames me for his misery. Evidently I have never lived up to his expectations but he’s Prince Charming!?! I dream about having my own place, a quaint little condo with space for my home office and crafting and my little parakeet. I just want to die happy.
Your fantasy condo sounds GREAT! I hope you do it! No one needs an unfaithful partner.
I hope you find the courage to leave
I really hope you can find the courage to leave and build a happy life on your own
@@joanokeefe8155 I have led your life for approximately the same years and ages, been separated for a year and happier now.
Was married just shy of 40 yrs. A care giver for the last 16 yrs for her 24/7 until she passed 3 months ago. Now I have time for ME. Was it tough yes, but I do miss her every day, but I can do what I want….anytime. Happy New Year!
I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad that you are forging ahead in your new life
Solitude can be addictive. I totally agree!! 💯-CM3
Amen!!!
I’m almost 54 & I’ve been( completely )single for over 6 years & I treasure that I’m in charge of my own life,I thank God every day I do not share my life with a miserable human of a partner any longer!!
You make a lot of good points in this video. Thank you!
Glad you think so!
I’m the opposite. I’ve been married to a very wonderful man over 56 years. Is it not perfect, of course, we are very different. I can say he supports my hopes and dreams. As I do his, and understands I need time to myself, as does he. Yes, being alone can be wonderful. However, I can hardly stand the thought of one of us being without the other. We share memories and adore spending time with our kids and grandchildren.
We travel and share our thoughts at the end of the day. So I hear what you’re saying, but my life has been different. I treasure that I found someone who is supportive and respectful of me. It’s definitely had its ups and downs, but now at 72, glad we are here for each other. I love him more now than when we first met. ❤
It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship, thank you so much for sharing
I totally resonate! We need to be friends 😁 spending my free time painting and drawing, Pilates on sundaymorning.. how would I incorporate that in datinglife😄. So far I decided I just don’t want to. And no.. society doesn’t has to feel sorry for us. We are doing great, thank you very much! Have a great New Years! Kind regards from the Netherlands , Monique
Thank you and Happy New Year to you too!
Eckhart Tolle and Kim Eng are excellent example of married couple who still maintain individuality thru solitude by sharing separate apartments in same building - worth a listen to Kim when she shares on her and Eckhart’s relationship and how not to be codependent in relationship. 🙏
I'm 63 divorced twice. You'd think I learn something. Anyway being alone is the final stage to cope with in the divorce process. Divorceies, including me can tend to cling to the thought that someone is just around the corner. But it's not true.
Learning to be alone is not easy at first, but given time. And the realization that time and life is short.
I still love and care about people. But marriage is for young families, kids. And all the challenges that come with that. I'm now reaching a point of not searching or caring if anything happens. It's great.
Looking forward to some travel and stuff. Keep an open mind.
Great conversation sister 😅.
We could be friends. 💙💥
Thank you!
I love my life! I'm 59 years old and I've been single for 20 years. I'm also a Children's book author and watercolor artist.
I hope you enjoy watercolor painting as much as I do!
All the best!
Happy 2025!
When my last child left home few years ago now I got so depressed and lonely
Lived with a partner not repeating that one but now love living alone i enjoy and value my space also not having to share a bed well expect with my 2 fur babies
Love your channel Holly ❤️
Happy New year 🎉 🥂🕊
Thank you and Happy New Year!
I am a pretty content female boomer. I’ve been divorced 24 years. I have many friends, and hobbies and 3 wonderful grandchildren. But it Is a couples’ world. It absolutely is. My married friends do not invite me to go out with them on a Saturday night. It’s couples only. The only time I see my married girlfriends for dinner, are if their husbands are busy or out of town. Otherwise we do lunch. It’s truly unreal. But that’s how it is.
I'm sorry to hear that, I actually don't have any married friends but I'm sure if I did it would be the same as you are experiencing.
I so loved this video, there are so many people that just dont get this. I am in my 60’s and live alone, I might be solo but I am not alone. I have invested myself in great friendships and although Im not married , I travel and am involved in several different friend groups. I love my freedom and I cant imagine surrendering that. I think we need to shift our thinking about living solo- it doesn’t mean you are alone- create the life and friendships that you want. Thanks for putting this out there.
Well said!
Holly your YT content is outstanding! We're about the same age so your message resonates.. Thank you and looking forward...
Wow, thank you!
some people need people some don't. I think today it is much easier to talk into a screen but when you are older most folks are stuck in their ways. It all depends on who you are. I enjoy solitude personally, and enjoy your perspective. But there is a stigma about the older single person. I enjoy it.
I hope I'm not alone when I'm old. Some couples think just because they are married or live together they have to be together all the time. These days people want their space and couples can do their own thing but still have someone to share their life with when it's time to be together.
When you get older...you might not know what you want, but you sure know what you DON'T want!
As for realizing how valuable the time you have left is...well people might people might have a sense of it, but l suspect most people are still wasting that time.
You're completely right.
Very difficult to be creative and energetic when you live with someone negative 🙆
Being alone is not being lonely, but we only understand this later in life. Perhaps this is part of human condition.
Or... this is a privilege of our western culture.
With technology and some gadgets, and our minds still sane, we can live alone and do what we want.
I'm trying to get the best of it, be creative, useful, healthy and flexibly adapting 🙋
Happy that being alone works for you. Seeing unhappy people who are stuck together makes me sad because I got lucky that I'm with my wife which is also my best friend. We met later in life (@ 45) and I'm almost 62 now. We have fun together and alone doing what we both love. Less time in front so no more to waste. I know we both don't really compromise as we both do what we want and ask each other what we will be doing that day or that week. We always find the right thing to do together. Finally got lucky and I wish this to everyone. And she's stunning as well and 63, married for 15 years now! When both love each other, everything falls in the right place. Everything you said loving to do alone, we do the same as a couple. Never boring. If it wasn't a good relationship, I'd be alone for sure. Been there, done that. I understand alone but being with the right person, nothing feels better than that.
Thanks so much for sharing!
Today is my 48th anniversary.... waking up to my husband already off to work & a lovely handwritten card from him. I do feel we are lucky to have found each other at 19/20 yrs, damaged, yet wanting better for ourselves and willing to leave family to go pursue it. Yet even so, as we approach retirement and being together 24/7 I do believe another adjustment will need to happen.... but we've been making adjustments for the past 48 years! We've long given up mentors because there are none, and have been forging our own path in this married life. This channel brings up many good points..... some of which I will bring up at our celebration dinner tonite! Communication I think is key to everything & brings you closer.... it's work but comes more natural after half a century, and keeps the intimacy alive. I don't think I'd give up that intimacy for anything. If one can't be happily married, I'm glad so many can be happily alone.... to each their own!
Happy anniversary!
🙌 you two probably have a rare thing! congratulations 🎈
Happy Anniversary! Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship, congratulations!
I must have hit the jackpot because I love spending so much time with my husband of 43 years. Yet I'm glad to know solitude is enjoyed by many, since I often worry about my senior Mom who lives alone. Although she's more of social butterfly than I am, with constant contact with others. Anyway, interesting topic and viewpoint.
Well, my life as been flipped flopped from the norm, I married in my 50’s and I never grew so much in my life as I did in this relationship. You have to have the right person in your life to make it wonderful. What really worked out is having more time to myself because he does so much for the house that I decorate. 🤣😂🤣Bottom line you have to have a sense of self going into any relationship. Someone who respects your space and need for solitude as you need to respect theres. Being single most of my, life has taught me to enjoy my own company. Now that I am married I have someone to enjoy my own company with, as I enjoy his. Heaven forbid something happen to one of us, since we are both in pur 60’s I feel we can carry on and still enjoy life to the fullest🙏
I am not senior yet, I am 52, but I live alone for more than 3 years, since my adult daughter moved out to live on her own. Living alone has advantages and disadvantages, but those "cons" kind of depend on many factors. Are you comfortable being alone sometimes days in a row? Do you have someone to help you if you get sick? Can you manage it financially? And mostly other practical things. Advantages are that you can do whatever the heck you want, you don't depend on anyone else's plans or mood, you can make plans on your own and don't have to get any permissions... in general it depends on personality. Some people just don't like to be alone, and that's ok too.
57 yo divorced in 2010. Begrudgingly have ended up single but surprisingly, I LOVE IT!!!! I had my awakening in 2019, and my peaceful life has no bounds! I will never remarry as dont want to lose half of my pension. Stopped online dating after ten years. Have no desire to go back. I love my life and the freedom I have. I feel like this marriage thing is a big lie, lol. Why is it so emphasized? I dont know if people can find themselves when married. Im not saying they can't. I just wonder. So many distractions. I love this channel as I realize I'm not the only one feeling this way. ❤
I lived alone after relationships ended. Couldn't believe how much i came to enjoy and appreciate the lifestyle. I didn't think I'd ever live with anyone again..
Then i met my life partner at 62. Four years later and now we're planning to move in together but have figured out how we're each going to have our solitude. Its important to each of us. Really enjoy your content ❤
I truly believe if you meet the right person at a mature age it can work out to be really great!
Thanks for sharing!
I am married & I wish we didn't live in the same house. I was happier living on my own & keeping my house exactly how I like it. Often I can't sleep at night. I wake up at 4 am, drink my coffee and work in my home office. I am retired. Of course I think of getting out of my relationship because we have nothing in common.
Joanna..... Thanks for sharing! We just doing routine here I guess hu. I know what your saying here, also up at 4 here in the morning and live a quiet routine married life myself. Thought it was just me in silence.