- 114
- 6 463
River Styx
Germany
เข้าร่วมเมื่อ 10 เม.ย. 2016
I'm mental, but that doesn't mean I have no sense of humour.
Hi, I'm Peter, I'm vlogging about what it's like to be depressed.
Trying hard to capture all the good stuff happening in between two suicidal thoughts.
Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com
Instagram: VenisonTenderloin
Twitter: @TenderVenison
Hi, I'm Peter, I'm vlogging about what it's like to be depressed.
Trying hard to capture all the good stuff happening in between two suicidal thoughts.
Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com
Instagram: VenisonTenderloin
Twitter: @TenderVenison
PLEASE REMEMBER - Inspirational message of self-care and self-empowerment (not only) during lockdown
How do YOU cope during lockdown? Share your tricks, stories, and pastimes in the comments below!
Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE!
INSTAGRAM: riverstyx.bln
This homepage collects websites and emergency phone numbers for a variety of nations from all over the globe: checkpointorg.com/global
"Please Remember" is a friendly reminder to treat ourselves with the same love and patience we'd extend to a loved one.
As if the ongoing pandemic wasn't sufficiently scary in itself, lockdowns - though necessary - present special challenges for people with mental health issues. Regulations are also mostly tailored towards traditional families, leaving singles of all ages and lgbtqi+ people especially vulnerable.
On top of all that, hardly anyone can honestly say that the midwinter darkness is particularly beneficial to their general mood and liveliness.
There's good news, though! Just like every descent follows an ascent, after tonight's literally darkest night of the year the days will grow longer once more. Vaccinations are on the rise. Spring is, well, just one lockdown away! And beyond the initial discomfort of spending too much time in your head, there's something to be said about readjusting focus towards yourself.
Music: "Memory of Serendipity", one of my own arrangements (inspired by / variation of "Magic Snow" by Christophe Beck)
Please LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE!
INSTAGRAM: riverstyx.bln
This homepage collects websites and emergency phone numbers for a variety of nations from all over the globe: checkpointorg.com/global
"Please Remember" is a friendly reminder to treat ourselves with the same love and patience we'd extend to a loved one.
As if the ongoing pandemic wasn't sufficiently scary in itself, lockdowns - though necessary - present special challenges for people with mental health issues. Regulations are also mostly tailored towards traditional families, leaving singles of all ages and lgbtqi+ people especially vulnerable.
On top of all that, hardly anyone can honestly say that the midwinter darkness is particularly beneficial to their general mood and liveliness.
There's good news, though! Just like every descent follows an ascent, after tonight's literally darkest night of the year the days will grow longer once more. Vaccinations are on the rise. Spring is, well, just one lockdown away! And beyond the initial discomfort of spending too much time in your head, there's something to be said about readjusting focus towards yourself.
Music: "Memory of Serendipity", one of my own arrangements (inspired by / variation of "Magic Snow" by Christophe Beck)
มุมมอง: 168
วีดีโอ
2016 12 08 to 2016 12 11 I'm happy
มุมมอง 1347 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison
2016 12 06 & 2016 12 07 BAD NEWS & GOOD FRIENDS
มุมมอง 647 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Some serious bullsh*t went down regarding the clinic. I don’t know what I would have done had I gotten the news while being alone. So my sincere gratitude goes out to Manu, who’s been with me and took great care of me - and who also reminded me that my videos are proof of the fact that despite being diagnosed with depresseion, I’ve had a pret...
2016 11 30 to 2016 12 03 Tipsy & Friends & Driving & Kinky
มุมมอง 877 ปีที่แล้ว
The last days in Berlin, the trip back home, and a surprise drive to Mainz. I spent so much time in cars last week :D Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_...
2016 11 26 to 2016 11 29 Life & Death, Love & Grief
มุมมอง 988 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Waldschlösschen Homepage: www.waldschloesschen.org/de/ Cologne Pride Walk Vlog: th-cam.com/video/Ka0be1VPOXU/w-d-xo.html (The part with Roderyk / Fistina starts at 1m36s.) Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison
2016 08 01 to 2016 10 13 Here's how I've been doing, Pt 3
มุมมอง 378 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
2016 08 01 to 2016 10 13 Here's how I've been doing, Pt 2
มุมมอง 578 ปีที่แล้ว
So, here's the second part of my four chapter recap of the past two months. Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Li...
2016 08 01 to 2016 10 13 Here's how I've been doing, Pt 1
มุมมอง 838 ปีที่แล้ว
Starting today, I'll be sharing a four part series retelling what I've been going through since the beginning of August. I think the videos pretty much speak for themselves. I'm sorry I didn't share any update at some earlier stage. I'm hoping that if you watch the videos, you might probably get some idea of why I wasn't able to. As always, please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. M...
2016 07 22 to 2016 07 31 I'll probably be going to a clinic
มุมมอง 1038 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
2016 07 16 to 2016 07 21 A Big Change is coming, and I REALLY FUCKED UP
มุมมอง 738 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Intro Picture: www.flickr.com/ph...
2016 07 10 to 2016 07 15 New Medication!
มุมมอง 918 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Intro Picture: www.flickr.com/ph...
2016 07 04 to 2016 07 09 THERAPY IS HARD!!!
มุมมอง 488 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Intro Picture: www.flickr.com/ph...
2016 07 03 Cologne Pride Walk
มุมมอง 1048 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Intro Picture: www.flickr.com/photos/s...
2016 07 02 Had a rough night
มุมมอง 438 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Intro Picture: www.flickr.com/ph...
2016 07 01 Prison, psych ward & suicide
มุมมอง 1308 ปีที่แล้ว
Please feel free to SHARE, LIKE, COMMENT & BACKFLIP. Mail: VenisonTenderloin@gmail.com Homepage: 100thingstovlog.wordpress.com Instagram: VenisonTenderloin Twitter: @TenderVenison Intro Music: Scott Holmes - Rainbow Street Link: freemusicarchive.org/music/Scott_Holmes/Music_for_commercial_use_Volume_2/Rainbow_Street_ Licence: creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Intro Picture: www.flickr.com/ph...
2016 06 24 to 2016 06 30 Here's why I've been feeling so bad!
มุมมอง 1608 ปีที่แล้ว
2016 06 24 to 2016 06 30 Here's why I've been feeling so bad!
2016 06 22 That Time I Got Beat Up For Being Gay #proudtobe
มุมมอง 798 ปีที่แล้ว
2016 06 22 That Time I Got Beat Up For Being Gay #proudtobe
2016 06 15 to 2016 06 20 Mental health issues suck
มุมมอง 548 ปีที่แล้ว
2016 06 15 to 2016 06 20 Mental health issues suck
2016 06 13 Feeling unwell & suicidal thoughts
มุมมอง 798 ปีที่แล้ว
2016 06 13 Feeling unwell & suicidal thoughts
2016 06 11 Social anxiety, strangers & sunrise
มุมมอง 348 ปีที่แล้ว
2016 06 11 Social anxiety, strangers & sunrise
2016 06 04 First Pride Walk of the season
มุมมอง 838 ปีที่แล้ว
2016 06 04 First Pride Walk of the season
How are you doing?
Vielen Dank fürs Teilen!
Gerne! Freut mich, wenn Dir das Video irgendwie gut getan hat :)
So 4 years later, what has been of you? you still alive?
Aw, thank's, super nice you're asking! I'm alive and well! It took me some time to get everything sorted. I'll explain more fully soon. There's actually new content and updates coming, probably towards the end of the weekend or by the beginning of next week.
Hope you are still around..just found this You Tube clip. There is an afterlife, but you don’t believe that...however, it is better to be heard and stay alive to find out if that is really true right? Yes! It is.
:D Thanks, that's mighty nice! I'm alive and probably better than I've been in a long time! There'll be new content soon, probably towards the end of the weekend or by the beginning of next week, and I'll eventually pick this up and explain more fully!
How are you doing now?
Sorry for not responding earlier. It took me a good bit of time to get my life sorted. But, despite the pandemic, I'm in a rather good place at the moment. There'll be new content coming soon, I'm guessing towards the end of the weekend or by the beginning of next week. And I'll sit down and explain what happened the past four years soon :)
Schon mal was von sekundärem Krankheitsgewinn gehört? Lass Dich endlich richtig behandeln und dann "get a life". Das Gejammer ist kaum zu ertragen.
Danke für Dein grundsätzliches Interesse. Mir ist klar, dass Depression als Krankheit schlecht nachvollziehbar ist - schau Dir doch die älteren VLOGs an, da erkläre ich die Symptomatik und das Prozedere, vom Anschreiben über die Warteliste bis hin zum Klinikaufenthalt, ausführlicher. Der VLOG mit dem zweiten Teil der letzten Woche hat übrigens bessere Nachrichten: th-cam.com/video/psXSqS2yioQ/w-d-xo.html
I really enjoyed your funny & crazy video ;)
Lol, thanks :D I actually made a seperate playlist for all drag related content: th-cam.com/play/PLh6PYhq3lUk04ugqfJ0Mc9rFF7se3cuME.html ;)
Ich glaube auch, dass es schon hilft, wenn man daran arbeitet - egal wie groß die Schritte sind. Es geht bestimmt bald besser! Alles Gute :)
Hey, sorry, dass ich jetzt erst antworte! Ich war die letzten Tage ziemlich mit mir selbst beschäftigt; das Video, das eine entsprechende Erklärung liefert, lädt gerade hoch... :D Dank Dir auf jeden Fall :) Gab inzwischen auch ein paar weitere Schritte, und es fühlt sich an, als wären die in die richtige Richtung gegangen. Es geht voran, mal langsamer, mal schneller, aber Hauptsache ist ja, dass was passiert!
Ich hoffe es geht dir morgen wieder etwas besser :-/ an solchen Tagen ist Schlaf manchmal echt das einzige was hilft (wenn man schlafen kann).
Danke :) Ja, ich bin meistens einfach froh, wenn so Tage vorbei sind. Schlaf ist tatsächlich ne nette Abwechslung von der Brüterei, die dreht sich viel zu schnell im Kreis. :P
Feiertage und Sonntage waren für mich auch immer besonders schlimm... In Amerika kann man da wenigstens mal in die Stadt zum Einkaufen gehen ;) aber hier?
+NichisStuff Furchtbar, oder? Die kommen auch immer so "überraschend", weil ich's gerade nicht gebacken bekomme, weiter als ein paar Tage zu planen, und mir dann im letzten Moment einfällt, dass ein Feiertag ist. Sonst könnte man ja was planen, oder wegfahren, oder sonstwas, aber das organisieren ist auch wieder so ne Sache...^^
As a guy who struggles with anxiety and paranoia daily, I can understand the stress that you're going through on a daily basis. The only difference is that I have no desire for suicide. I'm actually afraid to die. That's the difference and that's what causes my anxiety and paranoia. It's not just those things that keep me from committing Sepukku, but it's also the thought of others and how I would feel if I were to let these things get to me. Suicide never crosses my mind because I feel like that makes me weak to think that way and I know I'm stronger than that. I've always thought that suicide is pointless. I want my life to mean something, so I do what I can to make my life worthwhile and meaningful. I find meaning in the people I talk to, the things that I do, the Earth that I walk on. I like looking at the sky. I like breathing the air. I like watching people walking down the street or sitting in a restaurant and seeing people acting like people. It's so interesting when you take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. Just think about all of the cool things that you can do for people. Everyone can find meaning and purpose in their life if they just take a step back and look at what they have going for them. Suicide is never an answer. Think about all the lives that you've changed just by being there around those people. Making friends with someone left a big impact on them and their attitudes. I always come to a thought of "if I died the next day".When I think about the thought of dying, I always think, "Well, what did I do to better anyone else or better mankind in any way?" If I think that I haven't done anything, that gives me motivation to get off my ass and do what I want to see done. For the betterment of mankind or even the betterment of one person. I have hopes and dreams to do big things. I just don't know when. Try to focus your negative energy on something positive. I see that you already workout. That's good. You also need something to calm you. Maybe take a painting course. Just remember, there's always something to live for. Hopefully, you don't view this comment negatively and I hope I didn't misinterpret something in your videos. As one guy who understands the constant struggle, I just had to write this.
Beautifully said, thank you so much for your comment! These days, I absolutely agree. There's this quote that suicide is a final solution for a temporary problem. And that's all depression is: a temporary problem. You live through it, you learn from it. Every descent follows an ascent. And once you've understood that, it gets easier. None of this is helpful to people who go through a life-threatening episode for the first time. The darkness feels overwhelming, and it's such a strange and new sensation, it feels overpowering. But I want everyone to know -- and hear me -- when I say that there's a better life waiting, once you make it through the tunnel. Also, I'm super sorry it took me four years to respond to your thoughtful comment! I couldn't continue vlogging once I got to the clinic. I've been meaning to get back at it ever since I left the clinic, but there was still a lot going on. I'll probably explain more fully in a video soon. For know, just know that I'm well, and there's new content coming soon :) Probably by the end of the weekend or early next week already!
w00t Mannheim <3
+Nightrun LP "Ma-" ist ein guter Anfang, "-nnheim" ist daneben :D