วีดีโอ

This video appeared at right time, much appreciated!

I don't want to be alive. I'm not suicidal, even though its always a good option to have. i just think there's great peace in being a ghost.

This is so relatable. I don't care about anything. I continue to do what I used to enjoy doing because it's easier than having to explain that I don't care at all and I know that I would only feel worse about myself if I just gave up completely. Still, I don't care. I don't care about my friends, I don't care about my family, my parents, my brother. I feel fake. I can't feel any sort of attachment to anyone or anything. If my parents went and died right now (I'm still in high school) the most worrying thing to me would be where I was going to go, how I would be taken care of. I don't think I would care at all that they had died and I would never see them again. Sometimes I watch youtube, and occasionally it makes me laugh, sometimes even my "friends" make me laugh, but it's not real happiness---the smile, the laughter falls away almost instantly, and no feelings of mirth remain afterward. I pretend that I'm sick or that I can't go to school just so I can avoid them so I don't have to try to pretend like I care about them. I have really supportive, kind friends, and they know I'm depressed, but they don't know that I don't give a flying fuck whether I see them or not. Occasionally this horrible feeling just envelops me, this existential horror and the unconscious rejection that anything is real. I just disconnect completely from reality, every single person becomes a total stranger to me. The thought that I am a person in this world is impossible to grasp, and I can't even function. Usually it passes, but it seems to be becoming permanent little by little, starting with just a little bit of uneasiness and anxiety and gradually worsening over time.

Thanks so much!

Ur blowing up

Great video! I agree, we chase things too much as a consequence as our human greed. That’s why I’ve decided to stop chasing food! Starvemaxxing really opened up my mind. 😁😁😁

FACTS

I have the sme feelings except I did solve the problem. I found someone I connected with hard and really understood and who understood me. Not like a boyfriend girlfriend thing but just a person who genuinely wanted me to succeed and who genuinely wanted to see succeed also. I felt for a brief moment that it wasnt just pointless and that even if the world was shit I could enjoy it with someone who enjoyed me. I lost that friend. I feel like I will never recoup that feeling. I am not living. I am older every day.

Commenting for the algorithm 🙏🫡🗣️🗣️🗣️

damn

Real

Nothing is bliss, but it is best to return when it becomes just blankly starring at the ceiling.

I feel like you know me more than I know myself already

The quality of your videos are disproportionate to the actual appreciation you receive. I wish people as skillful as you were pushed to the front page of the internet, but videos with minimum effort overshadow better videos like yours, for some odd, twisted reason. In short, your videos are simply a work of art.

As a society we were promised we could be anything. Only for it to be ripped away. We are told to let our dreams die. Dreaming is seen as unrealistic. More and more we’re being pushed to be cogs in a machine. It’s a tale as old as time. Demons are just angels that dared to dream. Fight on. Even if you don’t think it will get better, even if everything is screaming at you that you won’t amount to anything keep fighting. Even just out of spite for this existence. Never give up and never give in. Because in the end, all that matters is you tried. That is the only certainty you can garruntee.

same... just same

❤

this is so true bro you described it perfectly bravo

Some people have evil dreams though, for those individuals it’s probably good that they stay empty and forget their dreams as said dreams run from them Then the emptiness can be filled with something else

Can relate

This is the kind of thoughts you write down and then look back at the next day and think, wtf was I thinking, not make a whole ass video about it lmaooo

What is this emo bullshit.

What game is this?

What if the whole script for this video is done by AI?😢

you cant imagine how hard it is to comment something that arent meaningless worlds here, meybe you are right or maybe if i spend my time thinking about yesterday and tommorow, i wont be able to live today or maybe i lost plot of video while writing this. cant say what is right here

i honestly could write about what gives me sort of hype that feelings are but im not great with grammar, although for me it could be mental issue called depersonalizaction(feeling like my mind isnt connected to body, memory issues, almost no emoctions) not 100% sure. anyway that emptiness is like giving up on sugar, it will be hard at first and you will do everything to get that taste back but after while you wont feel any need anymore.(glad to answear any questions if needed)

Never has enyone sayed whats going on in my life, fore the last sume years, more accuret then you have. I fee just as EMPTY Lost in my own WORLD Lost where i once belonged Lost where i once was alive... Where i lived... Where i used to be Where i was just me Im LOST! Im starting to get a gripp of myself again. Ive thats still still the person i am... or just was. I think its been geting better for me. Just... slowly... Weary slowly More then a year just trying to rewind my mind but yet im just at the start again. Hope all of us lost Children can find oure (TRUE) selfs, find where we belonge, find what we lost and be who we want to be. ❤ I need to BREAK [FREE] !!! I need to be [ME]

i somehow know why do people do something that's going to harm them even if they know it's going to harm them. its to, well, feel something. they want that feeling of depth. one that anything else cant bring to the table. and please, i really dont want to cater my life into that, but i feel like this life has been a prison, scheduled by the higher ups and no chance at living. no chance at letting all hells break loose. but i just hope all of us get better man, eventually, one day.

Thank you for this video. Keep making content, man. Perhaps, writing and filmmaking is your calling.

Thank you for putting my life into words. 🥺

My solution would be to try and do new things and try to make friwnda

same.

you need to indulge in whatever wild side you may have live just a little bit to the extremes so you can see and enjoy the small things you need a break dude

jesus you just described my exact thoughts and kind of given me a greater perspective of it.

I feel the exact same as you and while listening this makes my heart feel cold around

You have no purpose, try to get out of your comfort zone abit and it should help.

what does it even mean to truly live, isn't it just existing anyways

Alastair going places! Keep it up friend

Another BANGER video! common Alastair W!

emo ahh

2:07 . .Are u on drugs 💀

Im really enjoying video montage itself. Apartament buildings, those yards. Lights in distance. I love that vibe. You perfectly showed in video what there is to enjoy and more. It is small things and even more when you learn how to enjoy it all.

I feel the same way. No one can ever tell...

I would say I'm recovering from feeling the exact same way; just empty. The thing that has helped me not just exist, is to surround myself with the things i love, like being around the people i love, hobbies i enjoy, and just the things that make me happiest. Try to think about what has or does make you feel the happiest, and if there's nothing you can think of, find one. Try working out, talking to people online, go fishing, try taking a hike, or just go on a walk. You'll eventually find something, and if you somehow don't, at least you're trying to look for something instead of just settling and doing nothing, just existing. I understand it's hard to get out of a place like that, but if you want something bad enough, in this case, happiness, then you'll eventually find something that makes life worth living. You're not the only person to even feel this way, and just that should be enough to push you to find something you love.

I'm going through the same feelings that you've talked about in every video. Always looking for a solution or an asnwer to everything about what's wrong or what living really is. I've looked for answers through a doctor, friends, family but none have come through to actually see the real problem. Instead I've been perscribed with antidepressants and been told I may just have ADHD, but I feel trapped even on medications. No matter what medication I take, person I talk to, or thought I make nothing truly changes and the next day comes around and the cycle repeats. There's always a feeling of want and desire but those seem so far out of my grasp that I will always just be in a stagnant state of being where nothing will change. I'm determined however to keep moving forward even if the path ahead is an infinite circle or simply just a treadmill. These may change in the future but it's truly hard to imagine a future as the thought of one is cloudy or foggy. As I'm in my early 20's I'm not certain of when this started all I know is all of a sudden around the time of late middle school my brain just randomly snapped as if it has shifted from one thought process to another in an instant. However with all I've said I feel a little bit better knowing there's at least someone and other people out there that feel the same way. Thank you for making these videos I will continue along your journy and maybe it just might help me get through mine. <3

You said you feel empty and disconnected, but the truth is, you can fix it by putting your mind to something and not giving up. Everyone today lives such comfortable lives that they’ve forgotten the power of discomfort. Pain is real, and so is the satisfaction of pushing through it. Start by making yourself uncomfortable-run or train every morning. Try mountain climbing, fighting, or endurance sports. Extreme challenges force you to feel deeply, and through discomfort, you’ll rediscover yourself. Keep pushing, and you’ll never feel empty again.

wah wah

I had my existential crisis a couple years ago. I had to talk to a psychiatrist. I didn’t know what was going on. Turning 40 is weird. He diagnosed me with Massive Depressive Disorder and put me on meds. The meds didn’t answer any of my concerns, but they did make me get out of my depression and start seeing things in a lighter manner. Now I feel so much better even though my circumstances haven’t necessarily changed. Things don’t seem dark and dreary anymore and I look forward to things again, which had become a foreign feeling. There’s help. It may or may not be in the form of medicinal intervention, but, regardless, you’re not stuck.