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Agreed, continuing serving those 'challenging' foods when kids get into the stage of saying no

That can be very enticing!

I stopped feeding my autistic child and switched to feeding myself and he eats so much more if he thinks he's stealing my food 😂 Tonight I sat down with a big bowl of salad with chicken in it and he grabbed the salad and didn't like it but he ate all my chicken. He ate my whole yogurt bowl with granola earlier which is new for him to eat different textures We have an occupational therapist see him every week for the last 8 months and he's turning 3 in September

@@caesiusgeo I barely eat but he doesn’t steal my food like that 🥲😂 but I’ll still try it! We do aba twice a week, just got into speech and we have his OT assessment on Friday! My son has a 9Q21.13 chromosome deletion! Does your son have anything like that? (Also totally don’t have to tell me! I just am wondering when we’ll find someone else with the same deletion!! But I do greatly appreciate you commenting 🩵🥹)

@@brookelynnrusselle no known chromosomal abnormalities. My husband and I are adhd and I am autistic so we're the source of the autism Our son is low support needs with challenges mainly in speech, bathing and eating and social interaction

Totally agree with the eating from parent's plate to get kiddo to eat. All my kids are level 1 or 2 autistic and have had issues eating in some level. By doing this, we have had less fights with eating.

Definitely suggest the snack and meal schedule and yes I would do all these with an ND child. Many of my clients have children with ADHD and/or Autism. Here's the schedule video: bit.ly/MealtimeSchedules

Hah, ok why is that? Many adults have the learned associations that children do not. I have wonderful memories of my baby on her first birthday eating a bowl of curry and using her curry hands to pick up her chocolate cake with strawberries and going back and forth happily. I wouldn't do that as an adult with curry hands, but that's my learned experience.

Was it IN the mug!? 😅

@@FamilySnackNutritionist not your beverage luckily, but your hair was in the top of it.

This sounds like ARFID!

Same!!! I’ve got autism (I’m unsure if my picky eating is autism or ARFID, I go with the first one.) and my sensory issues are so bad.. to the point where I won’t even TRY a different brand. For example, I like chili soup, and if it isn’t my normal brand I won’t eat it. It’s not even considered. It can have the same texture, look the same, and taste the same, and I still won’t eat it. I also can’t have most vegetables because of it. Another absolute L for me is pasta. I throw up and get super sick if I even attempt to eat pasta, but I don’t have a gluten intolerance or anything like that.

Oh that's really interesting. For some of the ND kids I work with that sounds familiar, it's about working through at a pace that IS comfortable.

You've got this!! Seriously, let me know how it goes when you do it.

I'm so glad!

Hi! Aww it sounds like you've learned a lot and did the absolute best you could. Meat texture is tricky for a lot of kids/people so varying the type of meat and the preparation is really helpful eg ground/steak/baked/roasted/bbq

This stuff works with adults too

@@FamilySnackNutritionist I know 😃

Let's normalize more parents doing it

@@FamilySnackNutritionist it isn’t new lil bro

Let's make it more common

So I'm not the only one who thinks this sounds incredibly sterile.

right 😭

@@chillfactory9000fr

Sorry it wasn't helpful. What is your main mealtime issue?

Completely respect that. When kids are younger, the best this we can do is help them stay flexible so they can be successful and confident in a variety of situations

I think it’s helpful

The WHY is important....

Let's make it more common, parents really and truly struggle with this

Hi! That sounds really hard and wow, it's good you're wanting to make these changes while they're so young, this is YOUR job to decide what is served, it sounds to me like you need to get back in control of your mealtimes roles (video link below) and if you're looking for more help improving your mealtime communication to help with the picky eating, my online course Mealtimes Without Meltdowns is the best place to get started. I'll link it below too bit.ly/MealtimeRoles bit.ly/MealtimesWithoutMeltdowns

🥰

So proud of you for getting the answers you needed to understand yourself better. How do you go with foods on the same plate but without them touching?

@@FamilySnackNutritionist I do eat my foods on one plate, it is not divided. Only my tupperware has divided compartments. But I do carefully arrange my food to ensure they don't touch and at times I have sauce in a smaller sauce bowl if it is bothering me

I'm so proud of her!! Eating anything else than safe foods and exploring outside your comfort zone is really scary for an adult, I can't even imagine the storm of feelings a little child feels when doing that. I'm so glad you found a way that works for you and that encourages her to reach outside of her comfort zone at her own pace!

That's great it's working for you. Personally, it's not the approach I take when I work with clients. It IS the parent's job to be the leader and that means you do have control because your child is a child. Have you seen my mealtime roles video? This will help explain: bit.ly/MealtimeRoles

I dont understand why you feel the need to criticise her then, if you explicitly think a child below elementary shouldn't be allowed to freely get snacks, and this child was 6 ish, then the advice she was giving stands. Makes no sense, and is just negative and critical for no reason

@@aliasilver_636 Ishes not even talking about the child in the video if you listen to this video and all her other ones. She's not even specifically talking about this toddler. She's speaking in general overall how to stop kids from "raiding the pantry". Watch again

Correct, this is not just for toddlers, this is for older children too. They're still children, they can have more autonomy as they get older, but that doesn't mean full control over anything they want.

The issues you're describing is not about meal and snack times, it's about the restriction of certain foods (chocolate or 'sweets') which is something I talk about a lot if you look at my other videos. They should be served WITH a meal or snack to help normalize them so children like yourself don't become preoccupied with them and go and steal them. That's completely separate to needing a meal and snack time schedule.

exactly. the mindset of “ill starve my picky kids until they HAVE to eat what i made” is just downright evil to me

@@IJPAILJIMIAIOD it's downright traumatizing. My mother used to lock up the cabinets with bicycle locks as a child because I used to "steal" food or go into the pantry without permission like the lady in the video is tryna stop kids from doing. But I would "steal" food because I was controlled to only meal times. So whenever I DID get food I would binge on it like some feral being because I didn't know when the next time I was gonna be able to eat whatever I was stealing, I already knew I'd be in trouble so might as well make the most of it. It did not help. Now that my mother is also raising her grandchildren from her son...she's doing the same thing! And I see the effects it has both on self esteem and food culture. Those kids can eat whatever they want when they sleep over. At first they never cared for the snacks.. when they lived with my mom, now they go crazy the first day thinking I'm going to pull it away. Once they realize the food isn't going anywhere and they can have as much as they want lmao they choose fruits and veggies! It's the funniest thing. I'm the same way. I just want options and when I have freedom of choice I actually end up making better choices for myself. Make it forbidden and I'm scarfing everything down

I do understand it. I got 3 meals a day, and 2 snacks, all good portions, not restricted in choice (we had meat, fruit, veggies, bread, chocolate, other sweets) but if given the opportunity I would 100% binge on unhealthy snacks. I once stole a box of 24(?) ferrero roche, ate them all in 2 days, stole an energy drink at 8, so on so forth. I did it cos I wanted it, and I could

@@kaziered Yeah, these people have just been traumatised by healthy parenting tactics taken to an extreme, and cannot see how that was the extreme version of normal and good parenting. Dont listen to them. Well, somewhat do, as a precautionary tale, but dont take it personally if its working or has worked for you and/or your family. These types of people will ALWAYS have something to point out about another person's life that's "abusive", because they live and breathe extremes

She is not suggesting you refuse to give your little one anything else besides what is served. If the kid simply won't eat, of course it's better to give them something else but she is totally right tho. You should encourage the child to eat what's served, not demand them! In your situation I can totally see that it's not functional at all and can cause problems in your relationship with food all the way up to adulthood. The kid in the video she is referring to is eating Nutella or some sort of chocolate thing, I understood her as you can try & move those types of food items but not that your bottom shelves should be completely empty so a hungry child can't eat.

I have 2. This isn't what makes me a qualified pediatric dietitian though.

OMG that would be awful!

@@FamilySnackNutritionist I’ve seen it before and I’m broken.

That may be true, doesn't make it child-centered.

I really hope this is a joke. Did you know that kids have absolutely NO concept of disrespect? You have to approach raising kids with constant reminders that when you THINK they did something on purpose, they are 100% not. They have no concept of social conventions and they’re too young for them anyway- every “discipline” you instill in a child is driven by fear. They just know “if i don’t shove this down my mouth, daddy will scream at me and send me to bed hungry”

Wow, taking it very personally from a child is unfortunately the way to a very disconnected relationship with them

You don't care about damaging your relationship with your child? Why did you become a parent?

@FamilySnackNutritionist It is a parents responsibility to raise a child into an adult that functions in society. Teach a child to lie and manipulate, and you doom the child to disrespect authority, dishonor his own integrity and treat others poorly (not as equal humans but as tools to be used for his own selfish ends.) It is why children of single mothers tend to become failures and criminals. Do not coddle the child. Give the child structure and responsibility and watch the child grow. I want the best for the child. It is wrong to use the child to fill your own emotional needs. You should stop doing that. You should stop teaching others to damage their children as well. Raise children to be adults. Do not use children to make you feel special. Be a parent. Not just a mom. Any woman can be a mom, but being a parent requires wisdom and maturity. The earlier that you consistently teach ethics by your own actions, the more pride you will have of your child as he matures. A picky eater is a sign of intelligence. How long before he figures out that he can not trust you? 2 weeks, a month? How long before he learns to manipulate you back? Oops, too late, already manipulating you. That is what picky eating is. Understanding that you want an action from him and that by withholding, he can manipulate different actions from you.... get more attention, get favorite foods, and get his own way. See it for what it is. You are training the child to manipulate you, and with each success, the child will become more self-centered and more selfish. Your short view of just "wanting him to eat" has put the child on a path where other adults and better behaved children will not prefer his company. No one likes self-centered, selfish people. Maybe you should be the adult and risk your friendship with your child and develop a parent-child relationship where you reserve the right and responsibility to instruct your child. Once that is established, then you can inspire the child. And that will bring you far greater joy than the friendship. And the child will find far greater success.

That's great!!

Very conventional and I'm sure a lot of adults can agree they heard this... but it's not a helpful or kind strategy

Hi that sounds so stressful and sadly the forcing can make things worse but it can be improved, I have helped parents in this situation before. Could you send me a direct message on my insta/FB/or tiktok pages? We can chat in more detail about coaching.

Yep it's a thing!

I started doing that at 3yo, according to my parents. I'm 25 and still doing it now

Oh that's interesting! I wonder why!

@@FamilySnackNutritionist My *guess* is that I'm OCD, but only slightly, not full-blown, and that was a manifestation of it.

My boyfriend does this. I've never understood and I asked him because I noticed it. And he doesn't know why he does it either. He just wants to finish everything before moving on and never eats multiple parts of the dish in one mouthful.

I do that I'm confused how people just switch what their eating in the middle of it. Why would you switch up the tastes?

How do you feel about that now as an adult? That type of conventional parenting around food can cause more problems because of the pressure and shame for the child. I and other dietitians don't recommend that.

@@FamilySnackNutritionist I'm absolutely fine, as are all siblings. Kids are coddled way too much these days, let me guess your advice if a child refuses to eat their food would be to have a conversation about it and maybe a reward system? My parents would make me sit at the table until I finished everything, we once had brussel sprouts and my sister refused to eat them and they made her sit until 3am until she ate, not only does it teach you to eat but it also taught us not to take too much food because your gonna have to eat it all

​@@jessedacosta6377My mom understood that kids don't eat a lot and didn't force us to finish eating everything and just saved it for breakfast or another meal. So I don't understand why that's considered coddling rather than just working w how kids are until they're able to start recognizing how much they can eat at any given time

@@kariduran5710 no you miss understood me, she never forced us to eat more then we should and she could tell when we'd had enough but if we we're being fussy or whatever then she'd make us eat our fill weather we wanted to or not

@@jessedacosta6377 still from a strangers perspective it seems rather harsh to force a child to stay up untill 3 am bc they didn't want to eat a vegetable. So perhaps it isn't unreasonable to find a balance between ur experience and something else? Surely there are better ways to encourage children to eat veggies?

Mine is now 21, but she had to have a divided plate. Also, he told people that she had different chambers in her stomach for the different kinds of foods. 😂 still eats on a divided plate to this day.

It really depends if it's impacting your life in the sense that you can go out to a friend's house and eat or a restaurant. There's a lot of benefit to working on flexibility where foods CAN touch and the child can be successful with the meal. A lot of my one on one coaching parents have kids with ASD and/or ADHD and we've had a lot of success with kids working through these issues, even if they don't have everything mixed, they're able to get past touching.

Lol different chambers.

@@FamilySnackNutritionisthe gets to choose which plate he wants (plastic plates are in child height so he can get the one he wants) , and for some reason he keeps taking a small plate where it's almost impossible for food not to touch... There's bigger plates, he just always takes a little one. I think he'll be okay. There's no problem going to restaurant or grandparents and eating. At restaurants we usually do buffet and pile the little neat piles for him and at grandparents we bring the divided plate just in case

This is the same for a lot of Indian cuisine also, you have to eat it all mixed together 😊

Most of the parents I work with a western cultures so I'm really curious if you know of people in your circle whose children DO struggle with foods mixed or touching? This comes back to not wanting kids to be accustomed to everything being separated.

Most of the parents I work with a western cultures so I'm really curious if you know of people in your circle whose children DO struggle with foods mixed or touching?

Hi! That type of conventional parenting around food can cause more problems because of the pressure and shame for the child. I and other dietitians don't recommend that. There are nuances to all situations because all children are different.

Hey someone who was a bit like this as a kid, don’t be a prick. Every single child is different, and even if your kid is “”normal””, it’s perfectly alright for them to have preferences. A lot of kids go through a phase like this; and honestly don’t become a parent if you aren’t willing to compromise with a literal child

😂😂😂 that's how that works 🤔 then I must be the worst! 🤣

Sounds like you are still a "little like that" lol 😂 Thanks for proving my point! 👍​@hanhanthegreat

Wow dude didn't even make it past the first comma Maybe don't throw stones in that glass house of yours (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

yep, I guess parents who are more in tune with their child and empathetic are awful parents...🤯 ignore the trolls who don't know jack about parenting and child psychology

What's that like for you when you're at a friend's house or restaurant? Is that a struggle?

@@FamilySnackNutritionist No, they don't touch

Try growing up

Same Do you also eat each item separately?

I'm an autistic "picky eater" I would think there's nothing wrong with using divided plates. Even when I use normal plates, I keep things on opposite ends of the plate, so they won't see touch, like there's dividers. I'm not qualified like she obviously is, but if there's no problems and your child likes the plate, just let them use it :) Slightly unrelated, but I've noticed in myself if I have a plate I like or is fun colored I am more willing to eat.

This is also a non-professional opinion, but as an autistic person myself (who was once an autistic child), I don't see too much of a problem with divided plates. In fact, I still love using divided plates and potlucks! I dislike when dissimilar flavors touch or mix. Now, I've gotten past the point of being picky; I won't refuse my mashed potatoes if they've touched my applesauce, but it was once a struggle. Therefore, your child eats more with a divided plate than otherwise, I don't think it's a bad thing. Work on coping skills in other areas of life so that, once the divided plate is gone, the issue of food touching isn't a major stressor.

@@MusicalBotany I completely agree!! That was basically my point, thank you for saying it more organized :)

Thank you! This is what I just commented on here as well. Fellow autistic adult 😊

Hi there, yes I work with a lot of ND children, here's a short video with more info. Please also feed free to reach out to me via private message on my FB,tiktok,or IG

Aww, I'm sorry you didn't get the support you needed as a child, what do you think would have been helpful?

@FamilySnackNutritionist being listened to when told "hey, these certain food touching and getting on eachother makes me feel ill and like I'm going to barf. They might mix in my stomach sure but I have no tastebuds or texture feeling there" Esp when stuff like mashed potatoes and cranberries were touching. They don't seperate once contaminated

Patience and understanding is so important in this process

Ok, but how do you define picky eating? Is that eating 10 foods? 15 foods? Only 2 meals on repeat? This is way too simplified and isn't helping the child.

Wouldnt you like to know, weather boy

@@gotouchgrass9138 were you trying to be mean or?

How do you handle it?

I think its a you problem. Just because your mom cant cook that doesnt mean other moms also cant cook. A good cook will subtitute ingredients as respectful as they can. They have a mental image of how different the taste, texture and smell can be and will adjust it according to how much the person they are serving willing to accept. Tldr, your mom has skill issues.

This is advice for like 3 year olds that will barely notice. Not adults who should be feeding themselves properly.

How did you help yourself branch out?

Yeah neither of these things sound like a good idea

Awww a little defensive because you don’t want to give your child a new variety? Who cares if they don’t eat it. One meal a day should be something new with variety of options. They will eat something or they will eat nothing for that meal. Oh well. Or you can make chicken nuggets and French fries 3 meals a day until they’re 18. Not my kid, so I really don’t care. But this video wasn’t condescending or meant to hurt your precious little feelings. However, my comment was. DO BETTER MOM, IT /IS/ YOUR FAULT THEY EAT LIKE THAT. You didn’t introduce variety very young. Then, you give in every time and of course they won’t try new foods!

@@Asp47999are you projecting or smth? your comment is ridiculous and assumes so much random shit that i don't even know where to start (and no, i'm not butthurt, i don't have kids to be offended by this for lmao)

@@lanamarie-qx9og you don’t have kids, so you don’t realize how easy it is to just not fuck them up from the beginning 😂 unless you’re LAZY!

This isn't a meal idea and this may not work (as they say, nothing works for everyone) but if you wanna try to get them to try new foods I recommend trying it with them and letting them pick the food. As for meals you could try different pastas at first and slowly work up from there! You're doing great and you've got this