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Read the transcript, the voice is incongruous and artificial

My husband making preform oral sex daily made me overweight:( sex abuse is absolutely no joke

Interestingly, I suspect violence is more damaging than even sexual abuse.

I suffered a minor sexual abuse trauma. When I was 15, I got into a car with a man I never met before. He took me home, just as I asked, but he kept touching me in a manner I didn't like. He ultimately made me kiss him. For years, I was traumatized by that. If a man suddenly approached me, I panicked. I thought if a man approached me, he wanted to assault me. I finally put the pieces together and realized what happened to me at 15 was the reason.

I can barely remember a thing but have a strong sensation. My symptoms. Always had anxiety eventhough I thrived in social groups and was very into being social as a kid. But had periods of isolation. Started overeating at age 9 or 10. Became thin again after being quite overweight when I hit puperty spring when I was 13. Mastrubated like crazy as a kid, years before it became more excessive. (puberty) Always had big imagination, this manifested sexually as well. Was into girls my age but also liked many neighbor women and teachers age 25 to 45. This may not mean anything, I know. Depression came for the 1st time in the winter before I turned 13 and reached puberty. Went away after a couple of months. Went to school and was only depressed at home during these months. Dissociative psycho came out in me sometimes when I drank alcohol and was drunk. Especially when I started drinking. I could go from myself to a angry psycho who could be a little violent and very rude. Then go back to nice and myself again within 1.3 seconds if I ran into someone else at a party. Then pissed again. Very Doctor Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. Back and forth. Usually I am happy when I drink but if I get insulted (pride) I can be relentless, foul tongue. I swear, it feels demonic. Watched my face and eyes in the mirror a few times when I have been in this state, so fucking creepy and I feel lost. Abyss feeling. And only destructive feelings; no love or compassion or joy in this state of mind. Psychosis that was of extreme paranoid character. Cut my left vein in neck almost off. Lost half my blood. This was a couple of months before I turned 28. Happened in a psyche ward. I thought people locally and organized people were after me; freemasons and/or biker clubs. I was wrong though I kept these delusions for months. When I hurt myself with broken glass and razor blade the physical pain was tremendous and time was no longer present. Felt like a demon was trying to squeeze its way out of my frontal lobes and through my forehead. The insane feeling that I had to kill myself before "they killed me" was well, insane. And I did it all quietly so no-one would hear me. Cut my wrist before my neck. Bled quite a bit but it stopped. Surgery on me took 4 hours. They had to take a vein from my leg and place in my neck. Got a nice collection of scars. Never been a cutter of myself before the suicide attempt. But I will call my periods of binge eating self harm. You abuse your body with food and you hate yourself as you stuff your face with unnecessary large amounts of food. And not oatmeal and fruits. No, junk food that is damaging even if you eat right amount. Feelings of self-loathing, solitude. I have been through all emotions at max level. Many great memories with love and joy. Many sick moments where you want to inflict your pain on the entire world, both out of sadism and to get understood by those who dont understand you. Definetly narcissistic sometimes but I generelly treat people well. N I am 37 now and my life is a mess but I have good moments. But it is dysfunctional. I was very popular among friends and those I hang around and at work. Those who didnt know me that well had a negative view on me. Definetly got my share of positive and negative attention over the years. Like I said; very Doctor Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. I got the diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenic. This is wrong. Then they went with bipolar. What I think myself is dissociative personality disorder, if we have to call it anything. I call it overwhelming stress over years. Definetly had severe mania that made me feel like a god. And depression at extreme points. Lost years of my life. My bitterness is a bottomless pit but I function well with others and dont go around being emo. But the bitterness always comes back.

Good evening, I would like to submit all of you my therapeutic book, which is also available for free in electronic format. th-cam.com/video/z5BhH_m2WtY/w-d-xo.html God Bless!

SOME OF THE LEGENDARY TAO MASTER MANTAK CHIAS BOOKS FEEL FREE TO DOWNLOAD AND ENJOY THE SCIENCE OF SEXUALITY AND SEXUAL ENERGY drive.google.com/open?id=1XLSz6NNz6K5F5k0Edcg00oNsLGm3wFo3 drive.google.com/open?id=1XLSz6NNz6K5F5k0Edcg00oNsLGm3wFo3

This is bad. I tried to hang myself at age 10, tried it again at age 12 and again; four months ago.

My symptoms Depression Shakeyness Bad anexity And down there hurts :c

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia...from being abused at 6...from loved ones...therapy and medication does not always work.

For me it’s depression, anxiety, psychosis, substance abuse disorder, PTSD and I’ve become way more introverted than before

I have a lot of these symptoms but I have only thought of killing myself then jiu jitsu and MMA came in to my life and put its hand inside me and ripped it out it will change you you will cry and it will come out workout and use the pain make yourself great turn the darkness into light it is ok to feel what you feel accept it and fix it you must hit it 1000 times harder then it hits you I believe in you I am in college know and I use my pain to up lift other let it out its like poison it will kill you from the inside out please do not think it over or you can't think I believe and I can please it is ok to feel like that but you must beat it or it will hurt you badly.

Thank you!

This is a rather dry listing of symptoms associated with sexual trauma. Folks who wish to explore this subject online can find much more empathic presentations. Let this one go and check out some other TH-cam offerings. Those of us who've lived with early sexual abuse deserve a more tender treatment of this painful experience.

Dr please post more

Someone found out. And I feel horrible about it.

Thank you so much for all your help 🦋

Maybe this is a rude question, but has anyone of you ever been sexually abused by your biological father or biological brothers? This was for me the case, and even though my grandparents know (I live with them) they keep telling me ‘he’s your father’ and ‘they are your brothers’ and it just hurts me a lot. I am currently 19 years old, and I am too afraid to have sex. I had sex once when I was 17 but I panicked so badly and I’ve been afraid and disgusted of sex ever since. Does anybody feel this too, or am I the only one?

If anyone is in the Chicago area there is a support group of other survivors who meet every Friday, free of charge. Here is the link to their group/page. www.ascasupport.org/ I highly encourage others to look for support groups in their area wether it’s online or in person. ❤️

I was going to tell my story but I can't. It's too painful. My most traumatic experience happened almost one year ago exactly and I've just been able to recover from my phobia of being home alone with my bedroom door open.

Get rid of the cause........then you won't have the symptoms Get rid of child rapists.........educate children of predators ........protect children...

To all the survivors please get help .There are many organisations and support groups . You are not alone .. don't blame yourself .you are never to blame. You can live a good life but need support any form. Don't stop trying. Try not to let the abusers ruin your life.

best solution is catch the abuser and torture him extremely and then kill him

I'm depressed, have ptsd, have attempted suicide, and i have anxiety

I want more people to be raped and then more people to take their own lives because of the rape that they cannot live with f*** Humanity

I agree with one of the other commenters it sounds as though all you're doing is stating the obvious and try and sell a book typical psychiatrist get money out of it naturally

i thought about for years,,,just asking why did you think it was Okay for you to do this to me ? i wake up in the middle of the nights once in a while with a night terror waking up my Beloved parents, then them wondering why a 29 year old as nightmares like a small child ?

Since I was... about 3, my father would lead me into either the bedroom or bathroom while my mother was at work. It was sickening. He would tell me to close my eyes, that I was sucking on a lollipop, though I remember telling him I didn't like the lollipop, though when I was a little older I accidentally opened my eyes. Since that day, he just shoved it in my mouth and told me to suck, then turn me over and... yeah. I tried telling my mom but she brushed it off, saying that I was thinking of when my biological father would do that to other women while she wasn't home. I'm 11 and... he still does it. I told him to stop a couple of times, and he does, but only for a couple of weeks then he starts again. He's called me so many names I can't remember them all, but I don't deserve to even be looked at. I'm such a slut, I should just get thrown over the edge of a cliff. What will he do when I'm like, 15? I'm scared. Wait does my story even count as sexual abuse?

It's fucked up. I don't know where my emotions come from. Just so random I can't even figure the cause. All I can do is mental stuff like manipulating my mind when it happens. Yet another side of me wants me to suffer the symptoms. It's like a voice inside saying no u aren't taking the easy way out. Fuck man. Suicidal thoughts only getting more active. As such an optimistic person and who has battled my way this far. Things to get better but another side of me just feels this weight. I'm so fucking disconnected. I just can't fucking little things. Even communicating with my family. It gets difficult when it gets to this point. I'm so burdened with so many dysfunctions. Physically abused since I was 3 till 18 with sexual abuse at age 13. Never took it serious growing up. Now I'm feeling the full effects. It was better being dissociated and now idek how to describe my feelings. My first day watching these videos. All the best to the rest of fighters

I was raped 6 months ago , why do I torture myself ? I'm numb

It's too late for me. I was 6 yoa the first time I remember being raped by one of my mother's adulterous boyfriends. Later I was raped by my husband very brutally on our wedding night. Not but a decade ago I was carjacked and kidnapped, raped by many men (not of my own race) until I was almost dead. I won't even go into all of the inappropriate sex I was forced to have as a child d/t my mother, or all of the date rapes I tolerated. My ex husband beat me frequently and severely and attempted to kill me when he caught me trying to leave him. I'm now 54 and disabled. I have had all of the above diagnoses. I only wait and wait for life to be over. I just want to go home to Heaven. This has been a cruel and hard life and I am so very tired for so long now. I worked hard to overcome. But it wasn't possible. Esp. since most of my life was spent in abject poverty with difficulty holding jobs, even though I did in my 30's finally accomplish graduating from college with a BSN. I could still not hold down a job. I have so many mental health issues that got in the way. I have dissociative identity disorder, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, and now am also physically disabled from mostly hard physical labor in nursing...I'm a very small person that daily lifted the weight of larger people and equipment in my hard and stressful job. Very poor choice of professions, but it was expected of me, and pressured by my family to get this degree and profession. In my family you have to be something or you are a failure and an imposition. I really wasn't fit for that type of responsibilities and often missed work d/t being in an alter personality that wasn't old enough, or knowledgeable enough to go do my job. Or I would have such anxiety and panic that I would be physically ill or hiding in a corner of the house and unable to communicate. My husband is a God send, a wonderful and understanding caregiver to me. I don't get much healthcare or psychiatric help because I have zero income and zero insurance. Because I was born in the US and have in illegitimate or other children I do not qualify for any assistance. So I live between the cracks I have been falling through all of my life. I feel discriminated against d/t being a white and mentally/physically ill person over the age of 50. I just want life to be over. I am glad that I am now aging faster. I have a condition called Chiari I malformation with a large syringomyelia that I hope will eventually allow me to pass away naturally without having to commit suicide. However if the government waits much longer and we lose our home that we worked so hard for, or if something were to happen to my dear husband, I would be gone in an instant.

How can we as men help?

We get better when we kill perpetrators.

Poorly gender based video and book. Modern research shows that the majority of victims of sexual abuse are boys and men who have suffered sexual abuse from women and girls.

Marylin Monroe did NOT commit suicide- but rather it was a homicide made to look like a suicide on the count of JFK. Makes me wonder how much of the history this guy really needs to get straight.

It seems to help when I get a word out. I'm just talking to myself. I was molested by a care giver at three. Assaulted badly by an older boy while at a campground. Then around age 11 gang raped by high school football players. I tried to get help and tell but I never know how and when I did I was told not to tell or I was lying. I would get death threats from the families of the boys. Teased and harassed throughout my school years. Everyone know and no one would help me. I drank heavy, used drugs, only had one almost good relationship, and so on. Almost three years ago one of my attackers cornered me in a garage to intimidate and threaten me. I drew my side arm and considered killing him, I of course didn't. Since then I have had a hard time with life. I had a good therapist that helped me and I can talk about it easier. I am now on my own and try to get help but I can't even get a diagnosis, nothing real. I have turned my depression outward how I have some Wicked hatred towards people. I don't know how to fix myself. I feel for all of you. I understand, but I don't know.

Mildly sexually harassed by family member. Told my counselor and she told me it is nothing. She made me feel little and I have a lot of anxiety

I wonder if this is why I suffer from depression. I also get Panic, Anxiety attacks, sometimes want to die, and have psychopathic thoughts

Oprah suffered from billionarism: A disease of making too much money.

The there is hope message makes me uncomfortable

Spiritual bullyism. That was in my organization. Church policy abuse ........

I'm a guy and i was sexually abused for several weeks when i was 6 years old by a 14 year old boy. It affected me in the worst ways.. I have always had severe depression and had extreme bad days where i could hardly function or communicate. i couldn't think properly and i never had the courage or know how to make anything of my life. I was obsessed with sex and searched it out on line anywhere i could get it. I was extremely lonely and felt very suicidal. I ended up marrying a women who'm i was never attracted to physically because i was so desperate for companionship. I finally revealed my child hood trauma and have been getting psychiatric help and i am feeling so much stronger and mentally whole and i have such a desire to start over but now i feel so tied down to a women who'm i never was attracted to and plus i never went to school and have nothing to my name. no money. No assets yet I'm very un happy in my marriage and i feel completely ruined and I really want to die. I feel i have no options to actually find happiness. I share this for two reasons. I want any one who is feeling bad about their life to know of my miserable story and be glad that you dont have it as bad as me, and secondly i share this as a warning to never marry a women your not physically attracted to no matter how lonely you are. Peace and love everyone..

I believed I saw my abuser at a gas pump one day. I had the opportunity to run him over with my car. I hesitated, thank god, because he turned toward me & his face changed! It wasn't my abuser. I could have hurt an innocent man that day. It really frightened me. I'm always prepared to defend myself if I ever see my abuser agian. I always imagine me sneaking up on him & surprising him by attacking his gentiles. I imagine disfiguring him so he can never harm anyone agian. I'd love to take that from him. I won't rest soundly until I know he is dead. it's been over 15 years since the abuse stopped. It gets better with time but never will I forget.

Had a lot of stuff happen to me throughout my life and my doctors diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder. Then after more time they now are beginning to think it is Dissociate Identity Disorder. I don't really know though. I always end up getting flashbacks of everything and I most of the time snap and lose control. I can't even count how many scars there are. It's just so inexcusable for beings to do this to others. I despise molesters and rapists and have such horrid desires and thoughts to do unspeakable, sinful acts upon them that would be nonredeemable in any religion. I know I have some issues, everyone does. My advice is to try to not let it consume you. Much easier said than done, I know. I have issues with relationships altogether, romantic or friendship because of these issues. I am too "unbearable" because of my issues. It's so unfortunate how certain scenarios in life take place and cause chaos among all humanity. I can't even trust family anymore, so I don't know. I'm just kind of rambling on here. My family has grown quite sick of how I am. They get frustrated and just don't want to deal with me anymore. Hell, I don't really blame them. I even scare the living hell out of myself most of the time and living a life angry and full of hate like I do will destroy you completely. It's even more upsetting and cruel when you tell someone about what you've been through, they promise to never hurt you that way and then proceed to tear you down, break you apart, and just...destroy you. Destroy who you are more than you thought you could be. I've been on medications for years and they never help me. I am caught in my own self destructive cycle that I just can't seem to pull out of no matter how hard I try. All I can tell you is, try to get help and support before it's too late.

I wish I could make out what you say :-(

I have been through 13 Pedophiles, I have a Memoir on the go, the truth about this Filthy Discusting s stuff, will anyone really speak the truth about the true effects Other than our girl friends or wifes or other, Deep in side our heads there is Damaging Images

YES THERE IS HOPE . CALLED JESUS CHRIST . HE CAME TO SET THE CAPTIVES FREE ......... ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD FREEDOM IS THERE . You do not have to believe in Him . He believes in you . HE WENT TO THE CROSS FOR YOU

I came from a dysfunctional family. I had suffered abuse. sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse and phycollogical abuse. It took me years to heal. I met my ex partner. We fell in love. I gave him my word and told him where I'd come from. Very early in the relationship isolation had come. He slowly manipulated me and soon after he physically started attacking me. Because of the back round I come from I found myself stuck in between the abuse of my family and the abuse of the man I loved. Because I had gone back home thinking that somehow I could find help and safety. Home is where love is. Tough I never had that at home to begin with. I had let myself fall into a trap. I wasn't myself I was lost depressed I had no support I was totally broken. I was sexually abused at what I would've called a home with my family. From the age of 14yrs old to 23yrs old. I would leave and go back to my ex partner who would just black my face and body and he also would sexually assault me. I put up with this for 3yrs of our relationship. I later then turned to drugs alcoholism and suicide attempts. I continued and let my step father abuse me to run back to my ex who would carry on the same behaviour. I couldn't take it nomore. Durring all of this I was caring for my daughter. She went through so much trauma and abuse. I hated what Id dragged her through. Clinging to me through the warfare. I would think of ways to open up. Ways out and ways to expose what was happening. The consequences that would follow once id spoken. I finaly let it out with the strength of God. I had opened up to my mother about the abuse my step father was inflicting on me. He had always threatend me if I ever told anyone the truth of his doings no one would believe me. That he would destroy me and make sure my daughter was taken from me and then hed throw me in a mental hospital . Hed laugh hysterically while yelling these words out as i was alone. I finally spoke out to my mother. She turned a blind eye and fell into hatred toward me. My step father was in denile. He was a clever manipulator. He would instigate changes in my life by using those around me. My mother my older siblings his family and my living situation. Hed always find a way to get to me. After opening up to my mother. My entire life changed. They removed my daughter from my care using the system and using the abuse my ex inflicted on me in court. I went back to my ex partner thinking hed help me and my daughter. He was no help. He isolated and abused me. My mother hated me as she looked at me like i was the other woman and not her daughter. I was broken. I realized she didn't love me. My ex didnt love me. All the horrible things theyd said to me my family my ex had said. Their words pushed me to smash open the glass window I thought iw was trapped behind. My step father and ex partner had ripped my entire life from me. I lost my daughter my home my income everything I'd worked hard for. I became homeless for six months. I couldnt hold a job as i was not functioning properly. I had nothing but my love. This pushed me to search for help. I have always believed in God since I could remember. Through prayer and love from God the lord gave me strength to keep breathing. Through it I finally reached out to a woman who I'd found after searching for months. Karen. She works with people who have been abused in every way and helps them to find saftey and healing within. I let everything out to this woman and she helped me to open my eyes to what I couldn't see was happening in my life. she helped me to see through the glass window I thought I was trapped behind. I realized I could free myself from my ex partner and free myself from my step father. I foind strength within myseld to smash that window and I opened a the door to a new life. I have learned so much through the trials and tribulations I have walked. My ex used my past and abuse my step father against me. Just as my step father. I still suffer till this day. But I am stronger and much wiser than I was before. I love God. His had taught me to forgive and to love them still. They are forgiven.

I was recently lured down to a Sex Trafficking Ring in Nebraska where I was sold off to a transient who forced me to hitchhike and travel with him along I-80 across a few states. He did unspeakable things to me. I was able to escape by gaining his trust and pretending to be madly in love with him to keep myself alive. We slept in cornfields, alley ways, in woods, and he would have me panhandle until I obtained 3rd degree sunburns from being out in the sun all day. He kept saying he wanted me to perform sexual acts on animals while he filmed it, and tried to persuade me to do extremely disgusting and messed up things. He wanted me to kidnap children for him as his, "Play Toys." He was a sociopath and acted like he had split personality disorder and would sometimes act like he became possessed by a demon, and then get extremely violent towards me and punch me and call me a worthless W*ore while I would have to perform on him. I have since then been able to separate from him, and I have only been back home for a month, and all of these symptoms are starting to surface. I am constantly shaking, crying, and its all involuntary; I have no control over my body when the PTSD strikes. I don't know what to do right now. I don't know who to reach out to, but I am aching so much and just wish I could go back to normal. I don't want this to last forever... What can I do?

Let me tell you my story through my eyes.