วีดีโอ

i kinda just want to give up on everything. i don't know what to do

I just can't find the perfect people for me...

My friends won't talk to me, did I say something? Did I do something to make them mad? Idrk tho I guess those questions are for uh, them?

Hey guys I’ve been pretty depressed for the past month bc my girlfriend broke up with me and she said that we may be able to get back together sometime later but she doesn’t want me to talk to her until however long and I’m really scared about the future and if I’ll be able to get back with her because she that most amazing person I’ve ever met and I love her so much and she told me she still does but she said that we aren’t ready right now

I became a ai person because no one will ever talk to me no matter how much i want

Please... I promise i will get it right this time

nobody will understand, social anxiety and, social awkwardness, unless you've experienced it, its very suffocating, it feels like everybody will hate you or hate you for doing something or because you did something, or some other stuff, it feels like a bubble of loneliness except when someone suggest to pop the bubble you refuse, and feel guilty, its a really anxious, guilty kinda, feeling, not only but just KNOWING, you have social awkwardness and social anxiety is very weird, i feel very different, as i blame myself for a-lot, and when someone's in trouble you feel like your part of it, making you feel timid and scared and anxious, it so pressuring, its a weird feeling, like if everything got jumbled up and now its dizzy, you also sometimes feel jealousy of people who are extroverts and DONT have social anxiety & awkwardness, because there never left out and you are, feeling discluded compared to them. Btw please don't steal this in comments, videos, or anything including docs, as this is serious and id like everyone to do there own research, and also this is personal to my own life and id like for everyone to respect that.

My mother died when I was 6 and my whole life I’ve never had a mother figure, my Dad was in such grief and he had to take care of me and my sister all the time and couldn’t go to work since he had to take care of us alone. Me, always struggling with friendships, and always failing relationships, have been struggling with depression for the past couple years, not cause my life is just starting to get depressing, but because I have just realized that my whole life is just worthless. Growing up with my Dad, who was still very depressed, and my sister, who has mental illnesses, how could life get any worse for my Dad? If I weren’t here, his life would be easier, he could just kill himself like he always says he would. What meaning do I have in life, I thought about that for a long time and soon after, my dad shot himself, and for some reason, it was like I had just expected it to happen, and now I feel guilty for all the times I got mad at him and al the times I was inconsiderate of how bad of a life he had had up until his death. I hate everything😔

I’ve lost all hope in myself. I’m never gonna have a girlfriend and I hate my abusive mother. I’m the class clown at school, while I might have the school and world at my fingertips I can never feel happy.

I can't remember the last time someone hugged me

This reminds me that my online best friend knows me better, and knows my depressive moments & suicial thoughts, unlike my parents. But, I don't want to put weight upon anyone I know for real. I don't know, it's just.. A burden I can't burry.

No matter if we feel unloved or alone lets all stick together, we aren't alone

I miss her, i really do, every girl I've been with after her was like a mere replacement but everyone failed to make me feel that way, I will always regret the fact that I left her but at the time I thought I didn't have other choices. I hope she is happy now as much as I miss her. I will always love you, you were the one who let me know that even after all I've been thought I can still love and be loved

i always fell depressed so that is why i listen to these songs

Is it just me or do you ever feel let out or abandoned by everyone sometimes? personaly i feel like everyone hates me, even my friends. Sometimes i just sit and cry over the smallest things because to me it was all i had left. nobody else cares or baraly notices i exist. ive had suicidal thoughts before and ive even looked at a knife and told myself to end it, but i stayed strong, just know that for everyone reading this if u ever feel down or depressed like i am, just know im here for you, i perseonaly belive everyone is like a big family and we just dont realise it until we feel symathy to a random person we dont know but we just know they've had a hard life, so just remember, im here for everyone reading this and i hope your hear for me to. a while back one of my cats got put down in front of my eyes, its been about 4 years but i remember it like yesterday

I try my best to cheer up everyone. I'm try to br positive! I'm alway push them and pull them up xP, alway make people have great day! but only day times... when the sun fall and thr light out.. I feel.. I am nothing to them I'm just a side character that make people happy... but thay okay it's only at the night time!

I used to have a abusive mom when I was eight I'm in middle school now that trauma still sticks with me sometimes I think about ending up

Yes you, I though i'd tell you something..... I love your smile I love your laugh I love your personality I love your hair (or lack thereof) I love your insecurities I love your accomplishments I love your failures I love your eyes I love your beauty I love your handwriting (or the way you communicate) I love the way you dance I love you on your happy days I love you on your sad days I love you on the days you feel lonely I love you on the days you feel helpless I love you on the days you feel like no one cares I love you on the days you feel forgotten I love you on the days you feel unmotivated I love you on the days you feel loved I love you on the days you feel sick I love you on the days you feel motivated I love you on the days you feel depressed I love you on the days you feel stresses I love you on the days you feel crazy I love you on the days you feel hopeful I love you on the days you feel cuddly I love you on the days you feel clingy I love you on the days you feel amazing I love you on the days you feel beautiful I love you on the days you feel like a failure I love you on the days you feel angry I love you on the days you feel aggressive I love you on the days you feel horrible I love you on the days you feel safe I love you on the days you feel unsafe I love you on the days you feel vulnerable I love you on the days you feel weird I love you on the days you feel ok I love you when you're healthy I love how you sing (or hum or feel the music) I love your taste in music I love your taste in movies I love your taste in tv shows I love the way you move I love the way you act I love you when you cry I love you when you're kind I love you when you're mean I love you when you're alone I love you when you can't feel I love you when you feel too much I love you when you can't take life anymore I love you when you feel like it's too much I love you when you're asleep I love you when you have nightmares I love you when you have dreams I love how you believe I love you when you believe in yourself I love you when you don't believe in yourself I love you when you hate yourself I love you when you love yourself I love the way you think I love you problems I love your solutions I love how you support I love you when you're in pain I love you when you're hurt I love your promises I love your secrets I love your attitude I love you sass I love your creativity I love your voice (or lack thereof) I love you hand gestures I love your stories I love your wounds I love your scars I love your face I love your past I love your future I love your present I love your outfits I love your style I love your art I love your honesty I love you when you lie I love you when you're tired I love you when you're energetic I love how you look I love how you cook I love you when you're adventurous I love you when you're scared I love your imperfections I love your perfections I love you when you worry I love you when you talk (or communicate) I love your opinions I love you when you have a headache I love you when you have a stomach ache I love you when you help others I love you when you need help I love you when you're mature I love you when you're immature I love you in the hard times I love you in the easy times I love you when life is meh I love you when you're responsible I love you when you're irresponsible I love you when you fight I love you in your darkest moments I love you in your brightest moments I love your heart I love you in the day I love you in the night I love you at midnight I love you at 3 am I love you at all times I love you at your best I love you at your worst I love the little things you do I love all of you I love you when you're you I love 𝙮𝙤𝙪. From the stranger on the internet who loves you :) (THIS ISNT MINE BUT PLEASE PASS IT AROUND :DD) <3

Stay proud To see your parents have a big smile

.

why is everything bad going on in the world so damn relatable? its so far away but it hits hard all of a sudden and you dont know why but suddenly youre staring up into the darkness every night wondering why youre all alone again. and you cant even cry but when you do you tell yourself to shut up....

I get banned from games every day because everyone hates me I go to school hate store hate home hate depression is the only thing I could feel my aunt died and my father my mom is missing and my other aunty hates me

“The internet raised you” is the realest thing ever like parents have ONE job and they can’t even do that

I really really need support Story Im in 5 grade there was this girl let’s call her poppy anyways poppy was sitting next to me so i said “hi” she hi i said wanna be friends she said sure she seemed so nice or I at least thought.. that year there was a bit of fighting and ofc drama but it wasn’t that bad. But in 5 grade the whole summer we weren’t friends bc she had got mad at me for dating her ex who i really like maybe even loved, but she said i wanna be friends again so i said sure she would be rude to me she even pushed me infront of boys to get a laugh and luckily one of them helped me up she has said my secrets to everybody. So it not a secret. And now day me and my friends were standing in a circle and she walked up and throw mulch at us with all her strength and trust me it can hurt, after that I moved schools and a old guy friend of mine sent me some guys nudes I’m 11… that was a traumatic experience and that boy left me for poppy. This is why I lowkey late my life.

Its November 14 my 13th birthday is tomorrow 😢

ngl i wanna be loved too in a romantic way someone to cuddle with you know, things that lovers do

:3

To those struggling, *things might get worse before they get better, but they will get better. I promise.*

Feeling empty is worse than not feeling anything

I only give attention to people when they are upset and "neglected ", but when I look at myself, I hate it, when I want attention, I feel like a burden or a pickme, who wants attention. When I say " I need comfort", I feel like a pick me, people think I'm okay because of a "smile", its fake, though.... *Just remember to not give up like I do, *belive in yourselves* *Even if you're builed, ignore them, no matter whatever someone thinks of you, doesn't matter, all what matters is you, your the boss of your body, your loved, and cared for, people will be there for you, if they can be*

Can someone help, I seriously don’t know what to think because I have secrets I haven’t told anyone and for a reason. I feel awful. Someone want to talk that I can trust?

The first song reminded me of the fact that my son hates people from age four to 15 he grew up with every one hating his stepbrother his step mom people kept calling him names for the person that he was and he ended up getting involved in fights getting expelled knowing that he was just standing up for himself he doesn’t like fighting but twelve years of being bullied and treated like shit I’m surprised that he hasn’t done anything harmful to anyone to this day he is still bullied but he has friends now but it still hurts me to hear that he had a bad day

The start of it is so peaceful. I listen to it and it helps me go to sleep.❤❤😊😊

всё так ужасно.................................что я уже и не понимают на сколько

My best friend who I’ve known for 9 years left me. She left me because I told her I was getting a new phone.. She said words I wouldn’t imagine she’d ever say to me but I will never forget that. I have to play her school in a football match, wish me luck. Guess.🥰

I want to be happy again life is rough…

The fact that everyone treats me like shit in school and i help them, and the teachers dont care. God i wish i were a different breed like a cat… 🙂

(high schooler (freshman) here) idk, feeling a mix of betrayal, loneliness and I guess you could say jealousy. Sorry for such a long comment, it just helps to write everything out even if no one reads it. If you do read it, thank you for listening. First off a year and a half to two years ago I lost my great-grandfather (we were quite close and shared the same name which was cool) to old age. He was 100 so we were all expecting it. But not 6-7 months later my grandfather died of a heart attack. We were probably even closer, and he was the best grandfather I could ever have had (I wasn't even crying until I typed this part). I'm so very grateful for the time I had with him but I only wish I could say "I love you" one last time. But getting back to the point, I lost two grandfathers that year and my attendance dropped dramatically, and I was doing theater (which my grandfather was really excited to see), but this one person, one person out of all my friends I suddenly was motivated to see. I would wake up and feel depressed, but thinking about seeing her got me out of bed. Every time they were absent I didn't really feel there. The room would become light when they walked in, and my mask of fake happiness would come half off when I was around them. We hang out, get ice cream, and walk around town. Later that year I realized I had fallen in love with them (I was at the end of middle school at the time and knew it was probably too early to love like that way/date so I waited). They became my favorite person in the world, every time we hung out or when I was on my way to hang out, I would feel butterflies in my stomach, heck I wasn't even able to finish my ice creams when I got them. So skip to one of the nights after rehearsal, me and my "gay" I guess you could say friend, we weren't very close but they were in the friend group, were waiting for our rides and he asked me who I liked as in love. Before I could say anything, he guessed it first try, and I responded with, "How did you know? Do you also like her?" and he replied "No, just a lucky guess. Don't worry your secret is safe with me." I soon thought that I should confess my love soon so I started to make a plan on how to do so. Now skip to the next school year (on the last year of middle school so I waited but hopefully not for too long) I made a full proof plan that the next time we hang out I would either tell them out straight if the atmosphere and moment was right or put a letter in the back they carry around every time we hang out. We decided on a date to hang out somewhere soon. Sometime soon I start hearing that the person I cherish most in the world, the person who unknowingly helped me remain happy, the person I own everything to, and [heavy air quotes] "gay" friend is dating. We three sit at the same table during lunch so I decided to find out if what I heard is true and ask them at our table during lunch. The moment comes, it's an 85°F day and I'm wearing a sweater, and I ask the question. They looked at each other, smiled, and said yes. The room went from 85°F to winter once I comprehended what I just heard. I was shivering, the noise around me faded to a muffled hum (muffled kinda like if you were listening to your siblings' music through the walls), and I felt extremely dizzy. Out of my disorientation, the only words I could say were "Aww, that's cute. Now that I think about it, you two are actually a nice couple." I'm still amazed at how I could conceal what I was actually going through from that moment on. This coldness and disorientation lasted until the second to last period. In the second to last period, I shared a class so I felt semi-relieved, the dizziness went away and I regained my hearing, but the coldness stayed. Once home and over the weekend I came to accept it. I was too late to confess my feelings. That was a fact I had to accept. A quote from the song "Just The Two Of Us", "Good things come to those who wait, but not to those who wait too late..." kept on playing in my head for that weekend. Even though I accepted the facts, I felt deep down that I was betrayed by the one person I told my love interest to, who I presumed to be "gay". There's more of my vent lower down, this part is just me describing the "gay" friend, and my personal feelings and interactions with him. These are my thoughts on him before my big realization: The times we really only talked were at the ends of rehearsal, lunch, and tennis practice. In those times he was quite funny, but more or less of his humor was (in my opinion) targeted at someone/playful teasing or playful remarks. Most of these teases and remarks were literally just on the same level of "you sold/your selling", but some we like "Oh no. Someone go behind the courts, [insert name] is serving this time' (at the time I was horrible at serving in tennis) or sometimes remarks on someone's current appearance/attire/clothes like, "bro you're wearing the ...." Now these are everyday things most male friends will say to each other, and would probably, if coming from my other friends, I would shake off as bros being bros because I'd do the same to them, but this time for some reason, idk why, they just hit when coming from him. Some of my thoughts on why they hit are along the lines of "Oh I just can't find anything about him I can use the same words. That's why they hit" he's just perfect like that, he's confident in himself. Going off of that, him being so confident, and perfect (and dating the person I like) probably discouraged me because I'm still depressed from my grandfather's deaths. At the time I felt like he was kinda shovey/pushed a situation a lot (but most of the time knew when not to push a subject), protective of some stuff/people (would defend his loved ones), and had a lot of respect and confidence in himself. I think at the time (and now) he intimidated/over shown me in many places because I was depressed. That leads into my thoughts after my big realization: Let me start this off with my best friend, he's been with me since elementary (some background on me that may or may not help with understanding my relationship with my best friend: I moved schools at the beginning of middle school because my new school was way closer to my house. Even though I changed schools we've stayed best bros and I don't think anything can change that). We are both pansexual or bisexual (I don't know these preferred sex things, I guess the best way to describe us is we look for personality in a partner no matter the sex) and jokingly agreed that when we are both single we're never alone because we have each other. Sometime, I forget when, I asked him if he wanted to actually move our relationship further than best friends but he said he was worried that it might affect our relationship negatively if something happened. I didn't push further after that. My best friend is caring, funny, understanding, and just the best. He'll always be there for me because he knows I'll always be there for him. Him defending me may be on average more aggressive than me defending him but if someone really insults him or hurts him I'll have no remorse or mercy. Ok back to the "gay" friend. My big realization happened this year, my first year in high school. My "gay" friend is literally just like my best friend. The "gay" friend treats his partner with the same care and kindness as my best bro does with me. The way the "gay" friend defends his partner is the same way my best bro would with me. They have the same confidence. In this instance I saw I was identical to my favorite person and my bro was identical with the "gay" friend, except they were dating and we were too scared. (I now know what the feeling of actually loving someone is, and I don't experience it with my best friend so we probably wouldn't work out anyway). This realization gave me even more respect for the "gay" friend except I still feel a small bit of betrayal and being lied to by him. The continuation of my vent: for the rest of the school year, every time they hugged I would feel my heart or soul wince. The one time these winces actually showed outside of me was at a dance near the end of the year where they kissed. I could feel the air around me drop a couple degrees when I saw that. The previous year at the same dance, I'd go to the outside area of the cafeteria and lay on the grass to look at the evening sky, thinking about my grandfathers, she would come and get me every single time I did that and dragged me back to the dance. Now I felt alone at this dance. Sure most of my friends were there, but deep down I felt lonely. At the end of the year, I decided I had enough of holding my feelings about her secret and I'd tell her I loved her and how much she helped in the previous year by just existing, I'd tell her that even though I was two late, I just had to tell her. Her reaction to this was very well, we're still great friends. I have a quote that matches perfectly with what I'm going through, forget from who but it goes "You know that weird feeling when you see your favorite person having a better time with other people than they do with you? Like, I'm glad they're happy, but for some reason, it hurts." Now in the present year, I'm still grieving for my grandfathers, and I still have a very small wince internally at the site of them but I'm glad they're happy. I know it gets better after the pain, so I'm just pushing through it and trying to live life. At the start of writing this I was really depressed/sad, but actually writing all of it has really helped. Thank you so much if you actually read my entire vent. I know what you guys are feeling. It fucking sucks and you'll feel hopeless, but give yourself the time to heal. Please, never feel like you're alone in this endeavor of pain.

. . . These songs ya'll I can't anymore.... I've given up on everything....after what's happened to me I can't hold on anymore I js want this pain to go away....

Hey Everyone, so Not long ago, MY friend decided it would be cool to just-.. kill themself. I was devastated. How could someone do something like that?! I mean, that's pretty selfish if you ask me.. But the worst part of it all? She was my girlfriend.

...i wish i could get a long hug, crying. Letting all my emotions.

Waking up next to me feels horrible...

Anxiety. Its quite hard too explain. They ask ‘Why are you so scared? Nothing is going too happen.’ But they just don’t get it. Its the feeling that you get just as you hit the water. Its the feeling that you get when all eyes on you. ‘Don’t stutter.’ ‘Don’t fall.’ ‘Have high grades’ ‘Am I walking weird?’ ‘Do I look okay?’ ‘Does my hair look bad?’ ‘Is someone judging me?’ ‘What if they don’t like me?’ ‘Am I eating properly?’ ‘Am I standing right?’ ‘Do I speak too much?’ ‘Am I annoying?’ ‘Why are they looking at me?’ ‘What did I do?’ ‘Be perfect.’ Its eating you from the inside out. Yet if you hide behind a mask, no one will ever know. Whats the purpose of life if your gonna die in the end? Sometimes I really don’t get it. They say ‘Be happy.’ How? I wake up at 4:00AM for school, I go home a 3:00PM. Sometimes school is really draining my soul out. Why am I so scared of everything? School = Shooters, Perverts, Bullies, Rapers, Fires. Its overwhelming. Home = Scolding, Mistakes, Too much homework, Kidnappers, Robbers, Mall = Shooters, Fires, Perverts, Kidnappers. It almost too much for me. The world is too scary and big. I have homework due today and tomorrow. I force myself too get up every 4:00AM I just wanna stay home and slack off I really wanna take a break from school.

Hello people in my phone, what is love? Because I've always had trouble discerning romantic and platonic love, when I was little I'd want to be friends with people, but I didn't know that that was something someone could want because all my friends were talking about crushes and "liking" people so I assumed they just meant plain enjoyment of company and wanting to hang out. It wasn't what they meant, at least I don't think so. I've searched it up, apperently the difference is physicality, but I'm just outright touchstarved, I want to cuddle and hug most of my close friends. But I can't genuinely tell them that because it would be weird. And I think I might romantically like one of my friends but it might just be me wanting to be their close friend and being clingy and touchstarved and goddamn it why can't it be easy I just wanna know what the hell's going on inside my mind. TL;DR: i don't understand love, might maybe not rlly love-love my friend perhaps

i hate living with my parents. its just so fucking mentally draining when one is always gone and talking shit about you and the other doesnt give a shit about you and thinks they are more important.

The most exiting part of my day has become when everyone else is asleep and I don’t have to worry about people knowing I’m watching and listening to this stuff and I can just try to let it all out even though I have lost the ability to. And now every time I wake up the first thing I ask myself is why did I have to wake up. I want to feel loved and appreciated, but I’m to afraid in trying to find love, I’m just gonna end up back to where I am now except more hurt. It’s gotten to a point where I’m not even afraid it’s gonna happen, I know it’s gonna happen. How do I know? Because it’s happened with everything I have tried to accomplish, just a void where that dream used to be. I used to think I’m talented and I’m a good person, but now the only word I can use to describe myself is pathetic, heck look at me writing this like anyone is gonna care. I just don’t see my point in the world anymore.

my life judt sucks i cant go a single day without something bad happening and school isnt helping at all i lost friends i lost family i lost touch with rea lity i only have 3 true friends i dont kow if i can go on like this anymore i just wanna kill myself bro

Wonderful cover bro, keep it up

i like the fact we cry and cry whole night and the next day, you gotta pretend like nothing happend cause you dont want anyone want to know

I feel so bad this day but i can't give up before i finish my book. If i died i want that people i loved or even don't know can see my art, see what i can do. I will never forget the way my cousin cries when she read an extrait for the first time. I know it worst it. I can't give up now