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Casey Smith
United States
เข้าร่วมเมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2023
Inspiring healing through mindfulness, education, self-discovery.
'It's Not Normal' Podcast every Thursday
After realizing my trauma in my early twenties, it became clear to me how many unhealthy behaviors I had grown accustomed to and unknowingly integrated into my own life. Through research and reflection, I've embarked on my own healing journey, and have since been inspired to share what I've learned along the way.
Understanding emotional immaturity and abuse that is endured by survivors can be a confusing and, at times, isolating experience. I am determined to raise awareness about emotional abuse and create a safe space for us to share, grow and learn.
'It's Not Normal' Podcast every Thursday
After realizing my trauma in my early twenties, it became clear to me how many unhealthy behaviors I had grown accustomed to and unknowingly integrated into my own life. Through research and reflection, I've embarked on my own healing journey, and have since been inspired to share what I've learned along the way.
Understanding emotional immaturity and abuse that is endured by survivors can be a confusing and, at times, isolating experience. I am determined to raise awareness about emotional abuse and create a safe space for us to share, grow and learn.
วีดีโอ
Breadcrumbs, Healing Fantasies and Role-Selves | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 49
มุมมอง 59วันที่ผ่านมา
Have you ever found yourself being strung along by a parent, partner or friend? Intermittent reinforcement is a powerful tool that can shape not only our personality, but also our perception of the present and our beliefs for the future. In this week’s episode, we talk about breadcrumbing as a behavior in a parent-child relationship and how it fuels the development of healing fantasies and role...
Breadcrumbs, Healing Fantasies and Role-Selves | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 49
มุมมอง 23วันที่ผ่านมา
Have you ever found yourself being strung along by a parent, partner or friend? Intermittent reinforcement is a powerful tool that can shape not only our personality, but also our perception of the present and our beliefs for the future. In this week’s episode, we talk about breadcrumbing as a behavior in a parent-child relationship and how it fuels the development of healing fantasies and role...
Healing Our Inner-Child | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 48
มุมมอง 6914 วันที่ผ่านมา
This weekend, I took a trip to a place that I hadn’t visited in over a decade. It was healing, but also brought to the surface some complex emotions. In this week’s episode, we talk about what inner-child is, why it’s important and how we can take steps to accommodate our younger selves in adulthood. 0:00 Inner-Child Healing 1:31 Childhood Wounds 3:14 Disproportionate Reactions 7:59 Validating ...
Healing Our Inner-Child | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 48
มุมมอง 3214 วันที่ผ่านมา
This weekend, I took a trip to a place that I hadn’t visited in over a decade. It was healing, but also brought to the surface some complex emotions. In this week’s episode, we talk about what inner-child is, why it’s important and how we can take steps to accommodate our younger selves in adulthood. 0:00 Inner-Child Healing 1:31 Childhood Wounds 3:14 Disproportionate Reactions 7:59 Validating ...
The Emotionally Unskilled Family | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 47
มุมมอง 69621 วันที่ผ่านมา
In this week’s episode, I’m walking you through The Science of Stuck by Britt Frank, a book that I often reference as marking the beginning of my healing journey. From signs of unresolved trauma to what characteristics define an emotionally unskilled family, we get into it all. Buy “The Science of Stuck” here: amzn.to/4faNms7 0:00 Healing our Inner Child 1:35 Positive and Negative Emotions 5:38...
The Emotionally Unskilled Family | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 47
มุมมอง 86721 วันที่ผ่านมา
In this week’s episode, I’m walking you through The Science of Stuck by Britt Frank, a book that I often reference as marking the beginning of my healing journey. From signs of unresolved trauma to what characteristics define an emotionally unskilled family, we get into it all. Buy “The Science of Stuck” here: amzn.to/4faNms7 0:00 Healing our Inner Child 1:35 Positive and Negative Emotions 5:38...
Retroactive Jealousy | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 46
มุมมอง 68หลายเดือนก่อน
Have you ever felt intense jealousy or insecurity about your friend or partner’s past? And does imagining a time in their life before you give you a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? In this week’s episode, we’re going to be talking about retroactive jealousy and the connection between OCD and childhood trauma. 0:00 Retroactive Jealousy 1:57 OCD 5:01 Obsessing Over the Past 9:51 Diggi...
Retroactive Jealousy | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 46
มุมมอง 56หลายเดือนก่อน
Have you ever felt intense jealousy or insecurity about your friend or partner’s past? And does imagining a time in their life before you give you a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach? In this week’s episode, we’re going to be talking about retroactive jealousy and the connection between OCD and childhood trauma. 0:00 Retroactive Jealousy 1:57 OCD 5:01 Obsessing Over the Past 9:51 Diggi...
One Year Anni of The Podcast | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 45
มุมมอง 44หลายเดือนก่อน
On October 6, 2023, I posted the first episode of It’s Not Normal. In this week’s episode, we celebrate one year of the podcast by revisiting some of the topics we talked about in the first few episodes with a new perspective. 0:22 One Year of The Podcast 6:54 Revisiting Hypervigilance 16:15 Self-Worth 18:42 Styles of Communication 23:01 Validating Our Trauma Responses 26:36 Thank You!
One Year Anni of The Podcast | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 45
มุมมอง 22หลายเดือนก่อน
On October 6, 2023, I posted the first episode of It’s Not Normal. In this week’s episode, we celebrate one year of the podcast by revisiting some of the topics we talked about in the first few episodes with a new perspective. 0:22 One Year of The Podcast 6:54 Revisiting Hypervigilance 16:15 Self-Worth 18:42 Styles of Communication 23:01 Validating Our Trauma Responses 26:36 Thank You! Support ...
Personal Goals + Perception of Family | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 44
มุมมอง 90หลายเดือนก่อน
How much have your personal goals changed since realizing your trauma? Throughout my young life, my goals were very traditional. They involved my family and successes outside of myself. As I’ve started to heal, my goals have shifted and are now much more about who I am rather than what I’m doing. In this week’s episode, we talk about shifting goals, perception of family, and how it can influenc...
Personal Goals + Perception of Family | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 44
มุมมอง 37หลายเดือนก่อน
How much have your personal goals changed since realizing your trauma? Throughout my young life, my goals were very traditional. They involved my family and successes outside of myself. As I’ve started to heal, my goals have shifted and are now much more about who I am rather than what I’m doing. In this week’s episode, we talk about shifting goals, perception of family, and how it can influenc...
Fear of Relationships | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 43
มุมมอง 899หลายเดือนก่อน
Being raised by emotionally manipulative parents can make even the idea of relationships seem scary. We’re kicking off Season 3 by connecting the dots between childhood trauma and the different ways we perceive and show up in relationships with friends, romantic partners and ourselves. 0:00 Season 3 1:57 Perspective Shift 2:15 Intentions 11:32 Trust 16:31 Allowing Our Authentic Selves to be See...
Fear of Relationships | It’s Not Normal | Episode 43
มุมมอง 59หลายเดือนก่อน
Being raised by emotionally manipulative parents can make even the idea of relationships seem scary. We’re kicking off Season 3 by connecting the dots between childhood trauma and the different ways we perceive and show up in relationships with friends, romantic partners and ourselves. 0:00 Season 3 1:57 Perspective Shift 2:15 Intentions 11:32 Trust 16:31 Allowing Our Authentic Selves to be See...
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Chapters 6-10 | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 42
มุมมอง 1032 หลายเดือนก่อน
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Chapters 6-10 | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 42
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Chapters 6-10 | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 42
มุมมอง 342 หลายเดือนก่อน
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Chapters 6-10 | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 42
Authenticity + The Fear of Being Seen | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 41
มุมมอง 1312 หลายเดือนก่อน
Authenticity The Fear of Being Seen | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 41
Authenticity + The Fear of Being Seen | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 41
มุมมอง 422 หลายเดือนก่อน
Authenticity The Fear of Being Seen | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 41
One Year of No Contact: What I’ve Learned | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 40
มุมมอง 1112 หลายเดือนก่อน
One Year of No Contact: What I’ve Learned | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 40
One Year of No Contact: What I’ve Learned | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 40
มุมมอง 782 หลายเดือนก่อน
One Year of No Contact: What I’ve Learned | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 40
Self-Doubt + Toxic Productivity | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 39
มุมมอง 703 หลายเดือนก่อน
Self-Doubt Toxic Productivity | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 39
Self-Doubt + Toxic Productivity | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 39
มุมมอง 303 หลายเดือนก่อน
Self-Doubt Toxic Productivity | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 39
Separation Anxiety + Friendships | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 38
มุมมอง 653 หลายเดือนก่อน
Separation Anxiety Friendships | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 38
Separation Anxiety + Friendships | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 38
มุมมอง 593 หลายเดือนก่อน
Separation Anxiety Friendships | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 38
Groomed to be Hyper | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 37
มุมมอง 2.2K3 หลายเดือนก่อน
Groomed to be Hyper | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 37
Groomed to be Hyper | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 37
มุมมอง 463 หลายเดือนก่อน
Groomed to be Hyper | It’s Not Normal | Ep. 37
Follow Your Path | It's Not Normal | Ep. 36
มุมมอง 1383 หลายเดือนก่อน
Follow Your Path | It's Not Normal | Ep. 36
Follow Your Path | It's Not Normal | Ep. 36
มุมมอง 283 หลายเดือนก่อน
Follow Your Path | It's Not Normal | Ep. 36
You made me think about a lot of things. Thank you. Hopefully I can heal.
Wow congratulations that sounds so exciting!!
This is awesome!! Excited to see what you accomplish in your journey and completing the marathon!
I know all these things myself...but it's so hard to change... i sometimes feel like...the discomfort is not worth breaking the comfort and safety of these walls
Hi Casey! I found your podcast on Tik Tok and have resonated so much with it. Your calm, thoughtful, and thorough insights and demeanor are so inspiring and important. Please continue what you’re doing, you have quickly gained a loyal listener, and I will definitely be sharing it 🫶🏻
Great video!
“what’s right for me “
More people need to seeee thisssss
18:59 Not even a family member. It can be a carpenter or the maintenance people there to fix something, and I cannot just be. It pains me to say it. I realised this a couple of years ago. It’s still a hassle within me, but I’m trying not to react on it. But it sucks. It sucks so hard. It is so draining and sad,..
Impossibly Exhausting. It creates search a vacuum towards hopelessness. I struggle so much with the same battle and have always been treated as if emotions are never supposed to be expressed which inevitably goes against every fiber of my being and it is exhausting to know if I myself around people who don't believe in expressing any emotions as well.
My parents: All _Your_ emotions are negative,..
Thank you for doing this podcast. I've been listening to different episodes for a few months now, and this has really helped me validate a lot of my experiences as what they were-traumatic. And it has made way for growth in my life. I appreciate you and I hope you get to keep making content like this 🫶
happy anniversary! well done! 👏
You're not alone! Indivduating can sometimes be painful, and we never "finish" learning who we truly are. Human beings are socialized to assume we can trust other humans because trust is a necessary component for humans (and human societies) to function and survive. Did you know that the handshake originated as a physical gesture of trust between ancient homosapiens? By way of holding out one's hands to show the other human that they held no weapons. Their open hands were symbols of surrender and pure intent.
You have a beautiful voice😊
It's so weird that people continue to want to deny my view of others as much more intentional and malicious than people claim they are. They are constantly minimizing those experiences.
You consistently articulate the experience so well, making it easier to feel less alone and less strange for having gone through it, as well as the impacts and challenges we face as a result. It's great that you have managed to have therapeutic relationships that are now helping you. You are lucky to have come so far and to have arrived at these realisations whilst your still young.
Thank you so much for talking about all of this. It’s really been helping me on my journey to heal💚
I'm so here for this podcast
Hugging from afar
You are me ❤
Gooooooseeeebuuuuumppppsss! I just ordered my book. I cannot wait to dive in. I do feel like you need to be prepared to open up and heal from such a difficult trauma. I’ve noticed that over the years that sometimes our bodies just aren’t ready to handle it. But today, I am ready to live my second life. 🙌🏼 love it!
Thank you so much for this
This book is a must read for pretty much everyone who has trauma!
Nice talk! I resonated alot with what you said
yep thats why i tell them nothing
Yep you can't take attention away from them "narcissistic parent"
OMG YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yep
OMG yes
100% yep your not alone
i dont do that. but my narcissistic parent would be very paranoid about his phone if somone would be listening on them. if your narcissistic parent did that as well that's where you learn from
yea i did that as well "people pleaser" i have stop doing it now if anyone need help on this don't be afraid to ask
I just want to say I’m thankful for this channel. Also that you to have the courage to talk about the uncomfortable situations that happened to you back then. I relate so much to these stories and I don’t feel so alone with growing up in a household that had these situations. It’s been a difficult road trying to unlearn the habits that used to keep me safe. Knowing there are others out there growing and healing brings me a sense of hope in my journey.
I hv this problem. I can see groups forming and I'm friendly with everyone. I dont belong to a group but agreeble to all. Like there is no self
Gaslighting is the worst. Often worse I think than the thing that it arose from. Making you Doubt Yourself, _besides_ being treated badly - that Second guessing, on top of the hurt - hurts deeply.
26:07 I’ve evolved from the resentment to absolute grief. Not because of what they had that I didn’t. But what they won’t understand because I did… to them, our parents are not as bad as they were to me. To them, I seem a bit dramatic for the way I go no contact… I feel so alone
30:47 for context, I’m the oldest of 6.. this that youre describing is me..
35:09 I might also add here, for advice: don’t internalize the responsibility of paving the way for your siblings. I did for a while and became obsessed with protecting them at the expense of my own health and well-being. Learn how to be hands off. Remember to give the freedom ALONG with advice.
Nice one. Great delivery
This is amazing! Thank you 🙏🏼
65 years old and subscribed
I am so glad this video reached me. At the time I'm writing this, it is one day old and has 21 views. This video is going to reach its intended demographic and it is going to blow up. So many of us suffer well into adulthood with wounds from our childhood unable to heal due to not being able to ever find "our people" Those of you who see your life playing out in your head as she speaks understand me. I relate to so many of the things you mentioned. I also had a very hard time being alone. The way I grew up was not conducive to me developing my individuality or independence. Due to my particular set of circumstances I wasn't properly socialized and I did not grow up with healthy friendships. I quite literally had to block someone from my childhood yesterday. She treated me poorly when we were in high school. She went no contact with me out of the blue with 2 months left of our senior year. We wound up going to the same college and she reached out, we reconnected, and once the year was over she ceased contact with me again, to just pop back up like nothing ever happened. While we were teens and young adults there was never a particular event which I could point to and deduce why she stopped talking to me. When we were speaking again I never asked why she stopped responding to my messages or deleted me from her instagram. Probably because I was unconsciously happy we were "friends" again and didn't want to spoil things. I could go on and talk about how my own experience of being raised my an emotionally immature parent has gaslit me beyond reasonable excuse and it probably will - in my journal. I'll leave these thoughts here for now and hope this video finds those of you who can relate and we all trauma dump in the comments of this video and idk maybe form a little community of our own.
the part where you said "it was more important that you failed/passed a test than what kind of person you are," really helped me put into words my own experience. thank you for making this video.
Thank you. We are kindred spirits.
You understand exactly how I feel
It's also a setup for failure. Narcissistic parents can't allow their children to fail and not become independent adults. So they create these situations that are a bit too difficult for them so they fail, give up, and become insecure. It also means they can feel superior to them, which they need to feel every day just to make it through the day. I compare a narcissistic parent to the way a wild animal is concerned about its own daily survival. They are incomplete people where empathy and selflessness were never built. But since we as a society don't talk about it, it sets up children for a lifetime of doubt and suffering. Did you check out Dr. Ramani's videos?
As someone from an older generation, I'm so grateful that you are taking on these subjects and that you are breaking the stigma and the silence. I think you're spot on.
thank you for sharing, i'm blown away by the parallels in our stories. the way you speak is incredibly clear and informative, and thank you
OMFG,.. “Obscure and minute _details”._ I never thought I’d hear anyone - even in this realm of narcissism and immaturity, with all its commonalities - speak of this. I have never heard anyone say this and I thought I was the only one. Up til the age of 11, my parents did just this. I remember my mother forcing me to read, reread, and re-reread things again - because she thought: 1. I couldn’t possibly learn as fast as I did. So she thought I lied. 2. I was also quizzed on the most obscure questions which I couldn’t even comprehend the relevance of and of course then never got right - and therefore had to re-re-reread it all again. Both of these things would end up in really horrible fights, scarring me even more. At this point, after a final horrible argument, I just felt that I’d had enough. I stopped asking for “help” and went on to never again ask them for anything related to school (and went on with top grades all throughout). Closely I also stopped accepting money from them, gifts, and so much more, because I wanted to have as little to do with them as humanly possible. It was _Easier._ 😔 For this, I was celebrated by all. My sense of responsibility, maturity, academic achievements and so forth - which of course never was because of, but despite my upbringing. And, my parents loved it. They were so proud,.. This is _Not_ normal. For sure. Thanks for sharing, Casey,.. 🙏❤️🩹🙌
I love the softness in your voice. Thank you for creating this podcast ❤️
You are amazing, thank you so much for starting this podcast!!! Like seriously, I’ve listened to so many people and I still couldn’t understand why I feel the way that I feel today.. and even though we had very different experiences growing up, you have helped me finally start to make sense of things.. I’m super impressed that you have grasped all of this at your age with such a confidence, some people honestly don’t realize some of this stuff until they’re 60. I truly admire you for doing this and giving people the opportunity to understand themselves better and heal.
Oh yeah, it continues into adulthood.. chronic health conditions and relationships, until the relationship falls apart and you end up right back with them.. then feel unable to ever get out