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Don't cheat, that's the goal, but also, sharing stuff with your wife, usually gets used against you especially emotions, even more so for negative emotions, especially if they're towards or about her. There's a reason most of us stay silent, maybe worth thinking about aslo.

There are all kinds of reasons why someone might cheat ranging from depression to mania to sex addiction to being wired for non monogamy to being an asshole narcissist to having legitimate problems in the marriage to making a self destructive cry for help to a host of other reasons. It's not always some fundamental betrayal of the marriage, but rather a huge flag signaling that there is something wrong within the relationship or an emotional struggle inside the person that needs to be dealt with. Let's say your spouse cheats but you still love them, and you think your marriage is worth trying to salvage. The first step is just talking with your spouse to find out why the cheating occured. One person cheating doesn't have to be a default hitting the eject button to immediately divorce or end the relationship. Also, I'm in my 50s and in my time I've met MANY very happy, long term couples who have open marriages. The way they deal with cheating is just to remove the prospect of cheating and give each other permission to explore other people without some giant life blowing up consequence for doing so. On another note, love your content, wifey school, keep at it. Your channel is thoughtful and thought-provoking and I imagine you're helping a lot of people.

It may be deep but it's also simple. Has your husband completely destroyed the vows he made? For example, is there serial adultery or violence? If so then you should exit the marriage. If it's simply character issues or minor everyday hurts, welcome to real life. The primary reason for marriage isn't to make you happy.

Adultery is a fundamental betrayal and displays the inability of a person to keep their promises. The best scenario is reconciliation but there will need to be thought changes and a season when trust is rebuilt. It could be a long road but worth it.

The Five Love Languages is an hypothesis designed to sell books and dies the death of a thousand qualifications. How you respond to your spouse depends on the situation as everyone responds to all five (and even more). When a man is feeling the pressure of his role, provide a refuge without coddling him.

● the last person i want to listen to about lessons of a relationship is a woman. ● yeah, right!, ... tell your wife or girlfriend that you are cheating on her. then watch her go psycho on you, and remind you every day, or any time she's losing an argument.

I began dating my husband when I was 35. Got engaged when I was 36. I saw no point in getting an expensive engagement ring and told my then-boyfriend so. He got me a cool ring he saw on Etsy. I don't know how much it cost but I think it was around $100. It's a great ring, and I absolutely love it.

I really enjoyed this talk to help remind us of how wonderful our husbands are. There is so much negativity online where women are proclaiming they don’t need a man etc. that we need some opposing views to show harmonious relationships and uplifting of each other. I especially appreciated your story about the gentle correction your husband gave and how you respected his boundaries and feel your relationship is better off for it!! Thank you thank you for your practical take.

We can cheat-proof our relationships by agreeing upfront that extracurricular activities are a real life possibility. By stipulating that the marriage is emotionally designed to withstand something as meaningless as meaningless sex, the couple is granted space for the things that really matter.

Men

I meant no disrespect. I truly admire and agree with what you said.

Man or a goal oriented. For heaven sake, get to the point.

Is it pretty common for Christian women to dabble in astrology for more than entertainment? I blame my spell checker for Cristian. lol

Another thing to consider is how much he can handle relative to his current status or income. If the man you’re marrying already makes 6 figures, it might make sense that the engagement ring costs a little more. But if he’s still working on his career and has little money to work with, how can he be expected buy a really expensive ring? Either way it shouldn’t matter. If it does matter, you’re getting married for the wrong reasons.

Hey wifey, this is hubby. It was worth every penny.❤

Yup

👍 I understood completely. I'm probably not your target audience because I'm a husband, but I couldn't agree more, and so would my wife. We both set boundaries from very early on, and those are not compromised by either. Boundaries are not on the table and it's worked great because we're yolked equally. Thanks for speaking with humility. Some of these comments make me think they watched a completely different video😂 wth?

RESPECT...

Wow! Thank you. I have to say I wonder at times if you are telling men what they want to hear but at the same time you are teaching me more about the inside of the female mind than any other video I have watched since my divorce. Wow! Thank you.

My wife of 43+ yrs would never reaccess her opinion of me. I am male, therefore a worthless but necessary bag of testosterone suitable only for carrying groceries in, fixing things, paying bills, making financial decisions, etc. I'm only the chauffeur, breadwinner, pool boy, landscaper, cook, orchardist, etc. How dare I want some occasional symbol of affection, let alone intimacy. I miss the woman I married, not the starfish crone she had become. If it were not for great kids & grandkids I would think our time together was wasted. Only the last 24 yrs of celibacy was a waste...longer than our time of intimacy. Oh, what could have been!

Women are so stuck in their feelings, they don't realize that they are always the problem. Learn to rise above them and see the root causes of the problems and FIX THEM! It's no wonder most women initiate divorces because they are unhappy. Fix your unhappiness. It's not your husband's job to make you happy.

The metaphor offered was clear and coherent, but it did not address the life lesson needed in this video. A better metaphor for the woman in this video would be that of a bull moose. During mating season the bull moose is exceptionally Alpha in his behavior, standing strong, ready to fight if necessary, and carrying a large rack of antlers, but ONLY during the brief mating season. After the bull has succeeded or failed in mating, he sheds the antlers and spends the majority of the rest of the year growing, developing, and free of the desire to impress the female. What I heard in this video, and I may have gotten it wrong, was the story of a woman who lost respect, and even developed disgust for her husband as soon as he revealed himself to be a fully formed and complex human being, and not just an Alpha leader. She secretly longed for him NEVER to shed his "antlers", which would make him less than human, in order to maintain her respect, and for five to ten years, she resented his human qualities. A man must be free to question himself, doubt himself, feel pain, fail, make mistakes, stumble and fall, and slowly develop his strength, and regrow, shed, and regrow, shed, and regrow his "antlers" to become a fully flourishing and vital man, and a complete human being. Truthfully, it hurt my heart a bit when I listened to the woman hem and haw and dance around the many, many years in which she had developed a lack of respect and even disgust for this man. The video seemed to address whether the actions of the husband represented "leadership", or "controlling behavior", which I found utterly ridiculous. This woman should take a long look in the mirror and take accountability for the ways she has completely failed in forming a truly intimate relationship with what appears to be a decent man. The resentment and disgust she felt condemns the wife and her own failings, rather than the husband's, and I couldn't care less if the husband seemed controlling or not. (This is my first viewing of this content creator, so she may have addressed this in another video. I hope so. Or I may have misunderstood in the hazy vague first half of the video. If so, I apologize for that.)

All well and good but with the courts so biased against men and how women in the internet age are not as committed to loyalty and working things out as men are.....I recently told my 20 year old son that a prenup is advisable to protect yourself. I have seen too many good men lose everything in a divorce without enough time to make it up.

4 1/2 minutes in and you still haven’t said anything.

This is fantastic. I wholeheartedly agree with this 100%. Taking your marital problems to your friends or besties is a good way to cause more division between you and your spouse. Unfortunately, it is common in the therapy world today to be given the opposite advice. 😕 Keep it up Tara! It’s not often we find women in today’s world giving such great advice!

Kevin Samuels (RIP) used to advise separated women to try to reconnect with thier husbands. The women would react with a nervous laugh. Mr Samuels would say things like "Why not? You liked him well enough to have children with him. You already have a strong connection with him." These were all women who thought life would be blessed on the other side, but were having difficulties. And Ma'am, thank you for reminding us our our part.

That was a good point that an action can be seen as leadership or (selfish) control, depending on respect for the person. That is hard as everyone makes mistakes, and the longer you know someone the more mistakes you see them make. Its like respect is bound to drop some. It seems easier to lose respect than gain it.

If you can't course correct each other in a relationship then how can you ever progress? Thanks for being vulnerable about your journey

Being a strong confident leader is what women typically find attractive in men. This is definitely not what men look for in a woman. Men really couldn’t care less about a woman’s career or social status when it comes to picking a future wife. They might support her endeavors and be proud of her accomplishments; but it’s, by no means, why he chose her or required to stay with her. Also, it CAN be a turn off for men; depending on the situation. This is why the modern “strong, confident, independent boss babe” is struggling to find the man she wants. She’s becoming something that men don’t care about or even want.

My wife and I still make it a point to go on dates 20 years into our marriage. We’ve also developed weekly traditions such as Saturday morning coffee runs where we literally just drive around town sipping coffee together and chatting. People forget to nurture their relationships in a marriage over time. Especially if/when kids come along. There’s a phenomenon I call empty-nester divorce. Kind of self explanatory but essentially people realize they don’t know or love each other anymore as soon as the kids grow up and move out. They put all their focus on raising the kids and none their own relationship. Next thing, they’re getting a divorce after 25-30 years of marriage!

Thanks for putting this information out there. This is such crucial advice. Discussing and setting boundaries in a relationship is key. Unfortunately our modern culture insists on encouraging a “free for all” with everything as if nothing is sacred anymore.

3:12 Another fantastic point. When you work your way through the really tough times, that allows you to face whatever might happen in the future with the confidence that you can get through it together. Never thought of it that way.

18:50 What a great insight. The changes were not to make him happier with you, per se., but simply to move forward in yourself with an eye to remaining in the marriage. Thanks for realizing that and sharing it.

I choose to be Happy

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Have a good day

You look good with out make up Your husband is lucky to have you I Love You and Jesus Loves You More

Thank you for sharing....

I would love to watch #64, but it's not up/available anywhere yet. 😂🤷🏼‍♂️

The marriage counselor has 2 choices in these matters. Agree with the wife to milk them for more money or agree with the person who is at fault most of the time which usually is the woman over some feelings issue. If they agree with the husband who usually most men make the arguments based on logic she never gets another meeting. Not all men are logical and some use emotion based arguments. Most of the issues are with the wife wanting to change their partner and then when they change the husband they don't like what they changed him to and aren't attracted anymore. Most marriage counselors that are successful are only going to agree with the wife because they want to stay in business.

Went to a relationship counselor, it was a woman, she decided that my girl was the problem

I went to a marrige counsaler .. and she and my wife ganged up on me never again!!!!!!

I wish my late wife had rubbed my feet. He's lucky.

You should take your marriage problems to your spouse. Unless you just want to be a victim and send your marriage in to the sheeter. Venting without actually working towards a solution is not only not productive, but will cause you to gain pleasure form the release like the hit of a drug. And like a drug you will keep going back for the release and pleasure over and over without ever resolving anything. Just becomes a cancer.

Former Minnesotan, I remember the snow.

61 year old guy here who has never even been on a date. I've been retired for years, have all of my money, assets and property, and do what I want, when I want, and how I want. I answer to no one but God and the IRS. The comments below affirm that I have chosen the right path. What is this obsession with having to be in a "relationship"?