![SamJam](/img/default-banner.jpg)
- 10
- 3 880
SamJam
เข้าร่วมเมื่อ 23 ก.พ. 2017
Hey! I'm Sam, a genderqueer/non-binary human/future pharmacist/dog dad trying to navigate their mid-20's! Currently living in the city of my dreams (Seattle, WA), plotting ways to crush the gender binary, and drinking way too much coffee. This vlog will serve to document my process transitioning socially, emotionally, and medically as a non-binary individual and allow me to ramble on about various gender and non-gender related things.
1.5 years on testosterone: Grow As We Go (Ben Platt cover)
Hi! It’s been a long while since I posted any kind of updates, but I did a cover of this song and really felt it jived with where my voice is right now. I’ve been on a low/moderate dose of testosterone for about a year and was on low dose before that.
My singing voice changing significantly was a huge point of anxiety for me, but despite the awkward phases in there (voice cracking like a pre-pubescent cis boy) I’ve really come to enjoy my voice and it’s new versatility. Everyone is a bit different, but I hope this shows others that it doesn’t have to be something you’re afraid of. There’s always a song out there that fits where your range is, you just need to find it (and KEEP SINGING even when it’s frustrating).
My singing voice changing significantly was a huge point of anxiety for me, but despite the awkward phases in there (voice cracking like a pre-pubescent cis boy) I’ve really come to enjoy my voice and it’s new versatility. Everyone is a bit different, but I hope this shows others that it doesn’t have to be something you’re afraid of. There’s always a song out there that fits where your range is, you just need to find it (and KEEP SINGING even when it’s frustrating).
มุมมอง: 274
วีดีโอ
1 month on low dose testosterone gel (!) Voice changes/singing
มุมมอง 1.1K5 ปีที่แล้ว
Hi everyone! It has certainly been awhile! A quick update... I’ve been using low dose testosterone gel for nearly a month now. I’ve been a bit quiet about this decision because I didn’t want to feel pressured to continue if I decided it wasn’t the right fit for me. I’ve thought about T for a very long time, and there are things I certainly want (and would make my life, especially my career life...
Non-binary in the Workplace: My Experiences
มุมมอง 9497 ปีที่แล้ว
A (bit of a marathon!) recap of my experiences, positive and negative, navigating being non-binary at various levels of "outness" in the workplace, and a reflection on my recent interview and the impact it had on me.
Top Surgery Update (8 Weeks Post-Op)
มุมมอง 3707 ปีที่แล้ว
An update on where I'm at (and a little chest show-and-tell) as of almost 8 weeks post-op with Dr. Garramone!
Week 1 Post-Op Top Surgery
มุมมอง 917 ปีที่แล้ว
My experience the first week out of top surgery with Dr. Garramone! feat. a dinosaur playing guitar and a beauty tutorial
Week Before Top Surgery/Travel
มุมมอง 357 ปีที่แล้ว
A short video about the crazy week before top surgery (since I was too nervous to sleep anyway) Posted late - made on June 14th!
Late Night Drive
มุมมอง 827 ปีที่แล้ว
Something I wrote about what's rolling around in my head regarding top surgery and questioning gender. Also my first go at spoken word sort of poetry?
4 Weeks to Top Surgery and Anxietyyyyy
มุมมอง 1147 ปีที่แล้ว
I'm only 4 weeks away from top surgery with Dr. Garramone!! Though I'm really, really, really excited, I've also been increasingly nervous/anxious over the past few weeks, so I decided to talk about some of those feels.
How Did I Know I Was Genderqueer?
มุมมอง 6897 ปีที่แล้ว
From tomboy child to awkward tween to girly girl to not-canoe-building lesbian to the quasi-confident queer I am today. I won't pretend to have it all figured out, but here's some things I do know! Background noodling: "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran
Introduction Video!
มุมมอง 1377 ปีที่แล้ว
In which I begin my public foray into what it means (to me) to be a genderqueer/non-binary human! My goal is to post one video every week or two, but I am a grad student so we'll see... If you'd like to see me talk about something in particular, comment below or drop me a line (Do people still drop lines? Need to consult the youths)! (Background is me noodling around on my acoustic playing "The...
thanks so much for this, I have been really struggling at work because i am not out cause i don’t really know how to be like hey btw i’m non binary now not a girl and i use my preferred name but i am just nervous
I know this is an older video, but I just watched it because I'm starting the process of coming out at work this week. I work in mental healthcare, which seems like it would be more accepting, but it's a South Carolina state facility, so there's a lot of more narrow mindsets here. This video is extremely helpful (and the puppy is cute), but the main reason I'm commenting is because you said you're mad at yourself for just putting your head down and taking it. We do what we have to do to survive in our environment. You did what made you feel safe and I hope you're able to feel more comfortable speaking up for yourself now and that you give yourself grace when you don't feel like you can.
Gross 🤮
I'm really sorry you went through a bad experience at the pharmacy Sam. Having worked in a negative environment I know how difficult it is but it must be worse when it is around something like your gender which is so personal and fundamental to who you are. It is shocking that employers can behave like that. In the UK the law is supposed to stop this kind of behaviour. It doesn't stop people's opinions but there is at least a legal recourse (though it costs a lot of money and takes forever to get to court), are there not the dame laws where you are? I'm so glad you are in a better place now and I'm glad you are happy. Thanks for posting this video. It does make a difference to people x
Thank you so much for sharing this, I’m a month away from my first endo appointment regarding T and I’m shit scared for my singing voice. Hearing you not want to change your singing voice is really validating to me when I’m in a place where I’m really not sure if I want to either
You have a nice voice! 💕
Have you been on the gel the whole time? I wanna start t but needles terrify me
Hi! I did end up switching to injections after a few months. I found the gel to be pretty sticky on my undershirts and it also smelled a little funky to me. But I also know folks who've only been on gel and didn't mind it - and they still had voice changes. It just tends to happen a little slower that way. You also can get T creams that aren't sticky like the gel from a compounding pharmacy, those just aren't covered by insurance. I will say too: I'm just about THE biggest baby about needles, but it really does get easier after the first couple of times. Doing injections subcutaneously (under the skin) is usually easier for people than intramuscular (into the thigh muscle). I'm a pharmacist and we do injection teaching for people starting T and E, but many places nurses will help you do your first dose in the clinic as well. There's also a brand new oral form of T called Jatenzo, but I haven't seen a single insurance plan cover it. Anyway - probably much more info than you wanted. Any way you decide to go is the right way, and you can always switch if down the line it doesn't work out or meet your needs :)
@@samjam6331 thank you so much I really appreciate it :))
I'm curious: I'm about to start low dose T and changes to my singing voice are definitely my biggest anxiety. How does falsetto feel different from head voice? Are they pretty comparable?
Hi! This was also the primary anxiety for starting T for me. I will say I'm glad that I started out on low dose gel because it gave me time to adjust. Initially it seemed like I kept gaining lower notes but really didn't have a ton of impact to my higher notes. I also did some voice lessons for a few months early on and that was helpful. Falsetto (for me anyway) feels very different from head voice, and it definitely took some adjusting. It's almost like... going from trumpet to flute? Imperfect metaphor, but I'm a band guy XD For a bit it felt like I would be reaching for one note and a completely different one would come out instead. Super frustrating/discouraging when that started happening. The key is to keep singing and eventually those muscles become attuned to find those higher notes reliably again. When I was thinking over starting T I talked to a good friend who's a cis guy in theater whose voice didn't drop until midway through college. His advice to me was that yes it is a frustrating experience when initially some of those higher notes don't come as easy, especially for him because being a high tenor was a part of his identity. But those notes aren't lost, you just have to work at it and maybe use some different techniques to get there. I do miss belting out Sara Bareilles in the original key on a whim without warming up, but now that I'm more acquainted with my voice I really do have a great time singing. It's different for sure, but still me. I regret not recording more during that tough phase so I could better illustrate that transition (pun intended), but trust that even if it becomes rough for a little bit it'll get better
@@samjam6331 Thank you so much for all the extra info! My head voice is more flute-like, so I'm hoping my falsetto comes out more trumpety. I just started low dose, so we'll see what happens. Thank you!
This is awesome! Thank you for posting
You have a really beautiful voice!
Thank you for this video. I'm a non binary college student and I'm close to graduating so I'm starting to freak out about what getting a job is going to be like for me. It's good to know your experience, even if it was bad. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for what could happen. I'm so sorry your experience has been so negative. I have hope that the future will be better for you, and I hope you do too.
Hi friend! I appreciate you saying this so much, and I’m sending all the good vibes I have that you’ll also have a positive experience. It’s really scary to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, but what I found was that when I did and owned that conversation on my terms the right opportunities started finding me. This video is a few years old now, and it shows me basically at rock bottom. It was hard to rewatch because I acutely remember how painful and scary this time was. But it also lit a fire in me to make sure that my field didn’t keep doing this to other people (or worse, patients who are trying to access care). So, just a brief update: I’m now a pharmacist (in a post-grad residency program) at a large LGBTQ non-profit health system. I’m also going to be teaching at a pharmacy school alongside a faculty member who is also trans. And I’m hoping to start publishing papers this year that improve care for trans and non-binary people in my field. I didn’t get here with all sunshine and daisies, but I made it through my training and now I’m here. And I’m really glad I am. In short: fuck anyone who makes you feel small. You are brilliant, and you have so much to offer to your field and to this world. And if nothing else, know that I’m rooting for you ♥️
Thank you for posting your experience. I work in finance and have also struggled to be out at work and to be "seen" especially in such a straight white male-dominated field.
would love updates! perfect song choices btw. def songs on my "to sing when i go on t" list. :)
This is so beautiful and so relatable
I loved this video a lot. I’m genderqueer too and I’m finally dressing how I feel comfortable
Sameeeeeee
Dude! What songs did you sing?
Do you have an Instagram? Thank you for sharing your stories. 🙂
Nice ill subcribe
Subscribed!
Just found your channel, you earned a sub - Thanks for sharing :)
Aweeeee I like you!!!!!!
Yay Sam!! This was amazing :D
Awwww GRL Sib, you're so cute! Thank you for making this video. Your journey is beautiful and I can definitely see your happiness. **Sending you love from Berkeley, CA. <3**