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Brad Stine's character is the most petulant manchild in any movie ever

@55:07 - "Oh my god! They need a sex ed class! ... She's 19 years old!" Like mother, like daughter... This is how her mother ended up with an unwanted pregnancy, in the first place.

@24:37 - "Why do I feel like god doesn't want me?" Well, honey, god DID want you up in 'Heaven' when you were just a fetus, so you wouldn't have to deal with all of the sinfulness and temptation on Earth, but some goddam self-righteous prick STOPPED the abortion that would have sent you straight up to Heaven! You can thank your local anti-abortion church biddies for that, dear.

Around 1:39:00 .... I am gobsmacked. Didn't these dweebs learn ANYTHING from the Romans? From the Assyrians? The Assyrians under King Sennacherib built a SIEGE RAMP at the Hebrew city of Lachish, which helped them conquer the northern kingdom, and the Romans built a SIEGE RAMP at the Jewish city of Masada which helped them crush the Jewish rebellion in Judea!! All of this was LONG before Muhammad's time, yet he didn't know a THING about siege ramps???? 🤦🏻🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼🤦🏻‍♀️

Love this review. Hate Ray Comfort.

Noah, I'm with you. I teared up just sitting here, listening to you describe the letters scene.

I like to point out that if god 'hangeth the earth upon nothing', he hung it UP so the earth wouldn't fall DOWN. Then I add, there is NO up or down in space....

Remember that these are Mormons, somewhat similar to fundamentalist Christians. The only birth control method they knew about, was abstinence. (Speaking of which, the idiots promulgating Project 2025 are going to be in for some LOOOOOOOOOONG dry spells if those brainiacs manage to cheat Trump back into the White House...) 😂😅😂😅

Okay, let a boomer explain some of this shit (although I didn't become a teenager until after the year of this movie)... Petting - kissing the neck, face, shoulders. Heavy petting - BREASTS! Third base - Almost intercourse. Teenagers used the airport as an excuse to go somewhere with lots of open areas, darkness, maintenance roads. If the airport was big enough to have the big prop job passenger planes coming in - or better yet, those big screaming 707's coming in to land - it was quite a thrill to watch them touch down. The possibility of a crash made it even more fun - er, thrilling. As a kid I lived near Stapleton Airport, and I lived just a mile or less away when the big crash in 1961 of United Airlines Flight 859 happened. The neighborhood could smell the plane as it burned... 😢

I made the mistake of watching this thing a LONG time ago, and this is one that I won't be watching along with you. Once was MORE than enough! Oh, and it was horrifically SO much more than 'killing' a baby/toddler/child....

Wait - 3 AM? That's the REAL 'witching' hour in pop satanism, because it's 12 hours after 'Jesus' was crucified at 3 PM... 😂😂😂😂

I watched the movie on 2x speed, but slowed down the scene with the vehicle approaching her, and I think it's a blue pickup truck with trailer-pulling mirrors mounted on the passenger side of the truck. Looks like they removed the emblem that would have been on the truck's grill.

Oh mer gawd, the baby powder preacher man just said, "But now that Frankie is no longer in this world, may I suggest that you take the love that you have for him, and give it to Tim" and I IMMEDIATELY had a flash of Tim stripping the threads on Frankie's lug nuts just before the race, while muttering "Dad always loved you best, but NOT FOR MUCH LONGER! Bwah, HA HA HA HAAAAA!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

"Married three times, she's a nervous wreck" describes that bible-thumping adulteress who refused to issue a wedding license to the gay couple in Kentucky. Kim Davis has been married 4 times to three different men, and if you look her up on Wikipedia, her personal life is more convoluted and sinful than probably a million atheists.

The swami is yakking about talking to the dead, and he says, "It's a wonderful experience." The next line is even funnier: "Why I wouldn't know how to live, if it were not for my spirit friends." Meanwhile I'm yelling at the screen, "They're DEAD! How good can their advice be??"

Watching the race course crash scenes, and all the drivers getting killed (not just Frankie), I had no idea there were so many atheist race car drivers in the Deep South. 😂😂😂 Lotta good 'ol boys went to hell, that day!

Watching this movie along with your video, when the mom whines about "My poor boy" in the funeral scene, I am yelling "Give him a Viking funeral!"

I still can't believe you torture Yourself's watching Christian movies. Thank you 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm watching the original along with the GODawful movies review. My bones are definitely not chilled (shame too, think of all the money I could have saved on AC), but I have almost facepalmed myself into unconsciousness.

Cosplay, Satanic Panic, Racism and Shakycam! It's ambitiously bad! "This is Baphomet" "Hi! Taco Tuesdays!" Ooh- new minigame: whenever there's a movie about a Satanic cult, have a countdown before it equates any other religion that isn't a very specific theology with Satanism. "Man that's really spooky" That's rough, buddy Drama burrito LOL "No, you hang up, Jesus!" "This is some white people shit" that might as well sum up the whole movie SATANIC BRUNCH "Does it sound like Kid Rock shat in Limp Bizkit's mouth?" I love when movies drop Latin without actually knowing what it means. The cat represents the audience "He could drown something first, or easy blood letting. I want to make it an experience. Set the mood for Satan" LOL DTS "I'm sorry, I should leave" "Where are their parents?!" "THE SELF HATRED IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!"

I remember prayer chains being a thing when e-mail was the main social thing, and then moving to twitter and facebook. 15:40-17:20 I love this bit LOL redubbed porn. I love it DICKBEAR "That's just half of an analogy" "That's just anal" 59:10 polite angels vs polite demons

Sam the Eagle really is the best response to these rapture movies- "YOU ARE ALL WEIRDOS" LOL Faux Fortuna "Howdy doody is homophobic, that's weird" "I just want the rest of the movie to be a cavity search while he watches the plane to heaven leave"

Oh my god that opening rap. I feel that you really can't get any better than that. Good night! episode's over! Now, there's no rule a dog can't make an awful rap It's only hell if the only movies are the Star Wars sequels. An Apple store- yeah, that's hell all right Oh, high school yearbook photos are definitely in hell "Is your dad here in hell? What's your last name? Bosnick? Yeah, he's here" "Come on, kids, drink your Kool aid" "I'm the guy behind him by the way" I did exercise my swearing watching the sequels- I flipped off the screen in episode 7, I mouthed "fuck you" through episode 8, I swore as quietly as I could through the entire running length of 9. You gotta keep your profanity handy for those movies Really, the only thing that separates this and elevates this from all the other "you need to repeat the magic words or you go to hell" movies is the rap. And I feel that's what all these movies need.

"Stupidity, lightning round: the movie" I'd watch Cosmos by Batman! Like all of these were either specifically discovered and explained earlier by pagans, or making shit up, or both . ALL of them. Just once I'd like to see a conservative actually know the history of Columbus. the only thing they know is that Mexico had people who practiced human sacrifice....and that's it. I wonder how much of Ray's target audience went "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU" when he talked about quarantine. The behemoth is hidden in tall grass and rests under the shade of a palm tree. Try that with a fucking sauropod. "Have you seen a Brachiosaur belly dance? It is enchanting!" Ray's: "Meteors are silly! Now, water coming from nowhere to cover the earth, then suddenly disappearing, that's much more believable!" LOL Penis Locker Eli's Baby Circumscision defense class LOL

"Sounds like a name an alien would make up when they got pulled over" "They definitely majored in hair" "I think it's okay if you flap the whole time" "We walked through doors! DOORS! Can you imagine!?'

I hate found footage myself. LOL the monster meeting. "Those aren't my dishes!" "Are these all gonna be Penises?" "Uuuh yeah" "Would you- " "No, I would NOT want to do the Penis Project instead!" I would spend money on the Crazy Billionaire Dickpick remake "I'll just see if anyone needs a monster on Craigslist" "Me: Preppy white guy on the subway. You: Vampire" "all monsters matter!" "I FOUND WATERMELON!" Stereotype evolution LOL. Not even gonna get into the rabbit hole of offensiveness of using S__________ Guys- I know this a few years old, but hear me out: COCAINE. VAMPIRE. "ANOTHER RACE!" "Except that it's his BLING, dog!" MARTHA! Somewhere Batman is having a PTSD breakdown "What's your weakness?" "Carbs!" "Tell me about it!" "You need this moment" "Bummer" "I hate it when my back does that" "Where do you buy shirts?" I see you're busy. I'll come back another time. "I don't wanna touch it. You know how many people have touched it" "If Jamal was white and had tits, then maybe!" Boy, that Law enforcement guide to satanic cults helped a lot! "I ate the entire thing, Eli! The ENTIRE THING!" "It was obvious Jamal was going for his gun!" "You said I was stupid when I spent 18000 on these curtain rods, now it comes in hand! Who's stupid now?!" "Brian, meet giant ram. Giant Ram, this is Brian"

I love how the best strawman argument they can think of is that "the church is like ISIS" but they can't even counter it "Yes, Kevin, this is what it's like" "I thought there'd be fucking" "How many appletinis have you had? 75 MAN!" "Gimme another 3 hours in a candy store, motherfuckers!" I hope Agent Rarity here gets his own spinoff sequel "don't you worry, I never crash my car. If I crash my car, you can convert me to Christianity right now- oopsie daisy there's a cliff!" LOL "Toonces vicious racism" "If you ever doubt atheism, walk around Battery Park" "15%, final offer!" "I murdered somebody, then they put me in a room with Grey's Anatomy and when I came out, I had a profession!" LOL My Pastor vinnie I totally agree with the app theory. They totally wanted one and then were told it was the dumbest idea ever "It's been a whole appetizer, after all! Those were some good shrimp!" You know, the plot makes even less sense since Let There be Light is not in any of the gospels and is just in Genesis, so it would be Jewish and yes, Muslims as well. ISIS would totally use that app. "Oh, show them we believe on God? Well, this is sure a lot cheaper than a rocket launcher! I'll do it!" I am firmly Christian fundamentalists lie to themselves to keep pretending they're not exactly like Muslim fundamentalists and vice-versa. "Today is a good day!"

So the plot of this movie is basically Texas. 15:50 for the great TV curiosity bits LOL God on COPS It's amazing how the filmmakers' are openly admitting kidnapping and torture as their personal fantasies "Might as well face it, I'm addicted to love!" New Sorbo Strawman movie? Hoo boy!

"Which lord?" "An English lord on a palanquin- 'Hello!"" "Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance" "dude, Frank, go to HR" The fundamentalists basically have the same argument over and over and instead of countering the counterarguments, they just shout louder. And of course, damnation and death are their threats- "oh, you don't agree with me? TORTURE FOR ALL ETERNITY!" and these movies are just masturbation for them. Giant tape recorder be like "EVANGELICALISM SUPERIOR. NON EVANGELICALISM INFERIOR. CRIES AND SCREAMS ARE MUSIC TO MY EARS. " I mean, this really is a Halloween spooktacular since it's basically Final Destination for fundamentalists

"It's a billiard table of a suitcase" "It's a house boat" "I think they were both going to go into the suitcase" "It's like a two bed room in New York suitcase" "It's not so much woods as a wood." "Did you guys not have a loom?" "Right by the fire pole!" "Now I'm picturing Missionaries walking through Harlem and pulling out a pan flute" "It's like the main scenic element of this movie and it can fit in a golf bag" "It's a 6 foot tectonic plate" "The leeds plate" "He looks like a very specific kind of Mormon stripper" "The bad guys are a social worker and a field of science" "This one's from 1888- it still has the N word!" "A compass sticks out of Mark's back as he turns around" "Slipknot has been redeemed by the blood of Christ" "It's Temple of Doom Meets John Cusack in Say Anything" Just lifting a beating heart over his head "If Trump sees this he's gonna be shoving DACA kids into Deloreans" "They could have just laid a ton of rakes"

"You get +5 hitpoints for 70's hair" "Ah, 1970s, everyone was a couch" "Excuse me, Mister, how much is a creamy Nixon?" "Brothers and sisters, we gather here today- HE'S IN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!" "Grievingdadofasinnersayswhat?" "All right, everyone push the bottom!.....did I win?" "He might have been dying of bronchitis after the explosion" Crazy Evangelical logic "If it's not this specific form of this specific doctrine of Christianity, it's all the same and it's also Satanic" "Oh, if it isn't Let him Go Larry!" "Baby Powder: the Person" "Imagine if you put Vince Lombardi into one side of the machine from the Fly, and a tampon on the other" "Colonel Sanders' Gay Brother's Ghost" "He's about to get to the eyeball monsters that sing about God's glory!" "You look like if the Saw puppet went through a bad breakup" "Playin' with my sandbox- OH SHIT SAMUEL! Uh, hi Samuel"

Oh my god the return of Agent Emes. It's a podcast and I can still see Heath just bewildered and completely lost. Earthquakes for not reading Torah- I feel like that's an actual Biblical story "And I have this erection because I'm way too excited for prayer" I kinda wish Hamas had that kind of philosophy- "I'm going to put cheese in your meatloaf!" "I repainted all the dishes so that you don't know which ones for sabbath or not!" "I pulled a reverse Yentl so you actually made out with a guy in drag!" "I switched the Hebrew Torah with one in Thai!" "I put bacon grease all over the Matzoh on Passover!" Why isn't the Agent Emes theme song on Karaoke machines? How come of all the silly religious films this has the best theme song? I'm Goyim. I can't whistle. ♫Heath's tryin' to find a seat with dirty socks♫ "You pointed at a Commodore 64 and a Sextant" "There's a turtle, and some elephants, and each is standing on a dreidel" "And now it all makes sense....no it....moving on!"

"Wait, I saw the Crow- none of this ever happened?" "The hall of presidents has really gone downhill" Lemur face antelope deer, Scorpion horse locusts and Carl the Pugapegacorn, every morning with news and the latest hits . BEST. BIO. EVER. wait until they hear there's more than 2 sexual positions- that's probably called Satanic too "Cults are like religion, but their beliefs can lead to violence-wait. They can lead to sexual abuse of ch-shit. Keep rolling! They're different!" The logic of the panic is insane- "This graffiti is of a devil, so it's obviously a cult image. This game is about fighting demons, so it's obviously a cult practice" "Level 3: Ibid" "Here's one that's drawn right- STEVE" I loved finding out that pentagrams started out as Christian symbols, and the inverted pentagram only became an Satanic symbol by Lavey in 1966, and he explicitly based it on occult books by Éliphas Lévi from 1854 who in turn derived it from Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa in 1533, who was also an explicit Christian who thought magic was just another way of worshiping God. The inverted Cross meanwhile is traditionally Christian, as tradition states Saint Peter was killed on one, and only became associated with occultism when it was used by Eugène Vintras in 1841, who was, again, just another Christian with different ideas. "Dora the Satanic Explorer" "Using a fleshlight does not help your ego" "But it does give you power" He has no idea what Voodoo actually is, does he? Well, he's a cop, so he already hates people with color so that's a no brainer. Catholicism=Voodoo=Satanism. I feel like the term "Insane troll logic" should be "paranoid evangelical logic"\ LOL cooking show "So if you find powder at a crime scene, officers-" Show: This is a symbol of Magic......AND NOTHING ELSE "It's almost like you don't want this cracker in your vag" There is nothing more Satanic than this here Dinglehopper "Did you mean Satanist Bond villains?" I'm now kinda surprised that Satanists weren't the villains of that Sound of Freedom movie Any kinda of neurodivergence is Satanism or demon posession for some people. This is what we get in a society that hates doctors and especially hates psychology. "Gay babies. Gaybies" 1:30:30 Oh my god that scene

"Welcome to PTA mom meth store!"

....what the hell kind of title is that? "It's Saw 3:16" "It's Nightmare on Sesame Street" "Is that a suicide note/suicide mixtape?" "You know who was a scientist? Salvador Dali!" "His idea of flirting- I HAVE A PENIS I WOULD LIKE TO PUT IN YOU! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING?" "It's like they covered his gums in honey and dipped his mouth in a pile of teeth. Like kickboxer with broken glass of teeth" "It looks like his teeth are preparing for the Persians to attack" "He's got the teeth equivalent of 6 finger Dan" "The race for alcohol: the Heath Enright story" "And now everyone's safe now that everyone has a gun" "Your friend got shot. If this is correct, press 1" "That's the skeleton shadow puppet show to your left" "If I go to hell there's dogs and muppets and a tickle fight, I don't see the problem is." "Heath's sitting up in heaven with harps and Dawson's Creek and going 'what the fuck is this?!" "What's the lesson? Don't get into a car with a drunk latino then get shot by Nazis trying to lynch him for fucking a white girl unless you're good with God first?" "Especially if you use tarot cards"

God I hope there's a crossover when Agent Emes fights the protagonists of the Creed of Gold movie. The moment they break purity laws or ruin someone's Sabbath, he will END them. "This is Noah's David at the Dentist- 'is this gonna be forever?!" "Check out his tallit!" ♫Shalom horses, I'm cryin' over you I dunno- sabotaging Shofars might actually be the plot of the sequel to Creed of Gold Just the name Shofar factory invokes like a Jewish version of the Homer Phobia factory scene- for all we know the Shofar rules are taken a LOT more seriously than Levitical law. "GIRL'S NIGHT AT THE SHOFAR FACTORY!" "He's clearly playing Tindr with the Shofars" "Shofr, the new app" "I'd like to blow that one!" THE ELI BOSNICK STORY "Hats are the natural enemy of goyim" Oh my god they found my weakness! Okay, Crazy Billionaire remake: Agent Emes v Bibleman: Dawn of Scripture "Do you quote? You will" "MOSES?! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME!?!"

So wait, if death isn't real and we shouldn't fear death, why is suicide a bad thing? I mean, my fear of death has kept me from suicide most of my life.

Ray Comfort & Suicide: This is going to be the most tasteless thing ever. "Could it be living in late stage capitalism (so that medical care for mind and body is denied to most of the population and is stigmatized for the rest) in a totalitarian or oligarchic hierarchy with a media system that thrives on doom and gloom to drive engagement ? No, it's the children that are wrong"

Oh man, it's like a sequel to that Unexpected Bar Mitzvah movie "You see Mr Smith, America runs.....on Dunkin" "NOOOOOOOOOO!" I'm honestly surprised this movie doesn't have a villain operating from a deli. "Enjoy your bagel, Mr Smith. You see, our everything bagel....does indeed have....everything....MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I would like to nominate this film for being the closest to speaking the quiet part out loud. And that's saying a lot with a lot of these films.

When you guys said "Written by David A R White" it was like when Jules found out the Wolf was gonna clean up the car. "Question- are you a dragon?" "That kind of yellow journalism is not appropriate. Typical antifa people!" "Someone has located your human slave. Send an anonymous thank you" "Deadleg! Tell me!!" "Indian burn! Indian burn!" Snicker Snag torture LOL "Is it a person, place or thing?" "Thing" "Terrible CGI Fire" "YES!" "I was mad because Robot That Lives On Your Blood was my teen novel and it was going to be the next Twilight" ♫I don't want to taste your blood but my bolts want me to do it! It's a lot like the first one in the sudden shifts of plot and trying to be an action movie on zero budget and really the Antichrist and the Mark are more of an afterthought to the main guy and Eric Roberts running around Funny how they're trying to wedge in a pro rich message when the main villain is....a rich guy. "You look great in my mother's dress" reveals so much about David A R White that isn't a surprise at all oooh a conspiracy movie! Those are a special kind of stupid

Sometimes it's hard to remember that Eric Roberts has been in worse films than "A Talking Cat?!"

I WAS the target audience. I was 15 and homeschooled and saw this thrice and sobbed all three times, but making depressed 15-year-old girl crying does not a good movie make lol. So I in my 20s, found this video because I’m curious to see what other people thought of it and I’m just now realizing how absolutely bad shit it’s saying it was. Make me feel stronger about my convictions against abortion just like some movie you know I didn’t feel like there was a point you know? Anyway, I’m 26 now and aggressively pro-choice.

@40:50 - I think you're referring to an Indian version of an early European medieval maul, which was basically a sledgehammer made for warfare. Mauls are not to be confused with medieval war-hammers, which usually had a pointy spike on one side of the hammer head.

Worse than that, the kids are blue-eyed redheads.

Wait a minute... Weren't the Israelites brown people, too??

Watching this along with the actual movie on one of my other devices... 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 This is what happens when fundie Christians attempt to 'science'...😂😂😂😂😂😂

The fact that being forced to have babies is being used as a punishment in this film says an awful lot about the pro-life argument. What kind of a person thinks it's a win for a person who would never even hold or love their child to be forced to be a parent? That kid is going to be abused and neglected his entire life.

So you know how the Prince of Egypt is a religious movie but has amazing voice actors, a kick ass soundtrack, and some of the most jaw dropping animation ever to grave paper in order to make the movie palatable like just taking the message out its still a damn good movie. This movie is like that movies slacker cousin.

The weird thing about the train full of gold thing is that it's sort of true. But we know who did it. Lenin was exiled to Germany at the time. Germany really needed Russia out of the war. So they sent Lenin back to Russia on a train with a crap ton of weapons and money. Also., Berlin and Moscow 1917... not the biggest fans of Jews

Hey, I grew up in that exact community. Those kids were my classmates. I’d be happy to get on the pod and give a little more insight to that confusing world lol