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A consultant who specialised in autism

Hope it helps other children out in the future through you too

So glad to hear, it can feel incredibly lonely on this journey but please know you are part of a very supportive community

Will check them out

He named it, it was quite alarming at first as trying to work out whether it was something serious like a mental health condition, but it seems it’s commonly a way for people who are PDA to deal with the immense guilt they feel about how they are when having a meltdown. Even though they can’t control it.

Thanks,. We want to get back to making videos it is just a big struggle with the fidget-t launching and a new baby. We tend to post more short form Videos on TikTok and Facebook of that helps

Glad to hear you found them Useful,. What other topics would you like us to cover?

That certainly sounds like the result of a self demand- I should be enjoying this therefore I’m not because of the demand of enjoying it.

The sugar could be due to a need for dopamine, have you looked at ADHD too? It tends to be co-morbid with PDA. Eating is a struggle with new foods, we just try to make it as undemanding as possible with the environment, so in his room rather than at the table, and give him a platter of things that he likes with other things. It could be a texture thing rather than food, or things touching and altering the texture by making soggy etc. could be lots more going on than just not liking certain foods.

So glad you are finding them helpful, it’s like a lightbulb moment when you see something that just suddenly makes perfect sense. Hope you continue to find more stuff to help too

Thankyou so much that means a lot to us 😀

So happy to hear that they have helped, and well done for searching out hep and resources for yourself!

So glad to hear, it’s important to us people know they aren’t alone!

Thankyou

Hello Antonio, thanks for commenting 😀

Thank you so much for your lovely words. Wow that is awesome, how did you manage to get to a diagnosis? There are so many people in the USA that can get nowhere near a diagnosis so you have done amazing!

@@Comfa we joined the pda USA group on Facebook and were able to find a provider near us who is familiar! A blessing for sure!

That is such a deep dive into the workings of how someone who is PDA operates. Would you mind if we share this on our other social media profiles?

@@Comfa Of course!!!! What a compliment. Thank you. Made my day ❤️

Great, will be posted tomorrow

I think i have the fawn response as a kid i used people pleasing to survive. I just learned about pda today, and i believe i def have it. The son of the couple in the video acts just like i did at that age, from the endless figeting, to rolling to answering questions while distracted with doing other things… its all exactly me and how i used to be, it feels surreal tht someone else could be like tht too. I wish i had such supportive parents, my single mom would excessively punish me, or use shame or other methods to get me to obey like physical punishment and i learned to hide my behaviors and became extremely socially withdrawn in middle and high school. I always felt like something was wrong with me but could never figure out what. I was always exhausted from masking all day long, my only joy was when i was home alone and i could be free. School was unbearable and i felt like i was drowning 24/7, and the worst part was i was completely alone in this process, i avoided listening to my therapist and they would give up on me after a while. Still trying to heal but cant work and live with grandparents who let me live with them for free all i have to do is help around the house. Still barely healing at all and i dont really know what to do. Hoping that learning more about this will help me. Thanks so much for the video

What do you mean sorry?

So very glad you found it helpful, we are so happy to be able to help others who are in the same position we were a few years ago

So glad to hear that you found the video helpful, it is really important to us to help as many people as we can. Sorry to hear that you are struggling with people not knowing about PDA. We would suggest that the actual diagnosis is only really helpful if it helps you access extra support. The things we found most helpful were the strategies and understanding we gained from interacting with the community. If you don’t already please do follow us over on Facebook or Instagram, where we talk about these sort of things.

That means so much to us that you feel that way, that’s always been our goal, to help others in the same position as us. Yes unfortunately CAHMS don’t seem to have been helpful for anyone when it comes to PDA. Hope your private assessment goes well. It so unfair that waiting lists are so long. And yet nowhere recognises you might have struggled without the piece of paper. So frustrating!

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it’s so interesting how similar experiences can be like this, and how that can be an early indicator of what their life will be like. Glad to meet someone who we can relate to too.

This breaks our heart, even more so because our experience was exactly the same as yours for so long. We were told similar things, despite knowing in our heart it wasn’t true. It was only a chance radio interview that changed things for us. Try not to feel hard on yourself. You have not let anyone down. And you are in a better place being educated and more knowledgable than you were. Please feel free to DM us on Facebook if there is anything you want to know about, or just to talk to. Well done for doing your best!

But like.. that equilibrium this the control that can make any situation manageable. I have to go to work to make money so I can pay my bills.. fuck the bills. I go to work so I can help my father, so I can help support my wife and child. I pay my bills because couples live together and split expenses . I can manage work everyday because I get things done and done well and unless I fuck up really really bad... it doesn't matter they won't fire a skill they need. That is an evolition of: going to my father's work to play a video game i needed the internet for, then realizing i wanted to buy stuff.. that and my cousin was going to start working there. He left in the start of the year, but I knew my father was proud of me.. so I tried to live up to how good he was ... knowing that he wouldn't let me get fired.. so I could ultimately do whatever... but mostly I wanted to do better for him.. so on bad days when I just didn't want to work ( after feeling really bad for not going a few times in my life) I used the threat of feeling anxious and guilty for not going .... with the opportunity of more money on payday.... which eventually turned into a place to practice making people laugh.. reserving the money side as a last resort.. (okay I wasn't going to go.. but my dad and work need me.. so I will use the 60$ I wouldn't have made for staying home.. and buy myself sl.ething)

I'm sure knowing why I did that would have me in a better position today.. but here we are.. learning. also on equilibrium... if you hate a feeling.. it might be why someone loves it.. so if you try and like it... maybe you would like it... there's always atleast 2 sides the all things.

I'm sure knowing why I did that would have me in a better position today.. but here we are.. learning. also on equilibrium... if you hate a feeling.. it might be why someone loves it.. so if you try and like it... maybe you would like it... there's always atleast 2 sides the all things.

That’s so wonderful and insightful, thankyou for explaining how understanding the reasoning behind a demand can help you, and also how reframing a demand as a way of achieving something you want rather than something you have to do is helpful too

Thankyou, that’s all anyone should be afforded. It’s so frustrating that not every one gets what they need automatically 😣

Haha don’t worry about TMI, it’s a recognised part of being Neurodiverse. Understanding is the key, and finding ways to help yourself regulate when you have to be in a situation that you find difficult. Maybe look into sensory diets and see if you can work out which of your senses are over or under stimulated, as this will help you find stims and actions to help regulate yourself. Good luck!

@@Comfa oh I've already adjusted my diet. Turn the food pyramid upside down and that's what works great for myself. You were very correct about drs in the states not being familiar with PDA. My doctor has never heard of it until I mentioned it. I really appreciate your videos. They've really helped me so much. My life is literally the opposite of what it's been my entire life. I'd tried to tell my daughter about grains and my neuro reactions to them but you know kids... My grandson she realized is neuro divergent but she hasn't be realized that diet really makes a huge impact if not the most important impact on us But yeah since I wrote that comment so much has changed. I believe I may have Celiac's also and I'm definitely allergic to oxalates. Oxalates I believe everyone should be avoiding especially those of us who have a strong northern European ethnicity. I do great on a 100gr plus of protein. Thank you again for your videos. They've helped me piece my puzzle together. The yt AI was there one to suggest them when I'd been searching for autism and ODD. And tell your son that his effort to educate the world is appreciated! Smart young man to be so brave. He's very lucky to have great parents. I think both my mom and grandma were also neuro divergent too. But again ty.

Great that you found such success from adjusting your diet. One of the benefits of being an adult is you’re able to understand the potential benefits of changing things up. Unfortunately that’s not always an easy thing to do, particularly for kids. It’s very frustrating how little knowledge there is out there in 2022 about different Neuro types, it’s a postcode lottery at times. And it’s ever changing, our local health trust didn’t recognise PDA as a separate thing when Max was diagnosed, but a friend only a couple of years later in the same area was diagnosed no issues. We can’t begin to say how much knowing we have helped you out means to us, it’s literally our goal to help as many people as we can. Are you on Facebook? If so please follow the page on there too. We will pass on your comments to Max, I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear it. It’s definitely likely they may have been too as it runs in families in the majority of cases.

@@Comfa yeah I'd known about my grandson being neuro divergent but I never thought in a million years that I was. I'd tried telling drs for years it'd felt like my entire body was being rung like a bell. I hope it does cheer Max up knowing he's helped me. I can't believe it took me until getting 51 yrs old to figure it out either. At least they are trying to dx the different types of divergency. I kind of see it as a super power tbh. I'm so above most when it comes to intelligence and being intuitive it's insane. If I weren't I don't think I'd ever had healed myself tbh. My pic was my neck 13 months ago. You can't see the bone spurs I'd had in it. But yeah I actually see divergency as a super power.

When we told him what you’d said he was blown away, and so happy. Frustrating that you had to fight the Drs when you know your own body. We see it as a super power too! The fact Max can list every English king and queen from his interest in history amazes us every day. Wow your neck looks so painful, glad you managed to fix it 😀

You’re very welcome

So glad you found the video useful, it takes a while to get your head around how to word things in a way that works for him, especially when you were raised differently. Glad you found us 😀

That is so kind of you to say, we shall pass it on. It seems TH-cam auto turns off comments on videos that just feature minors, which we didn’t know do thanks for telling us!

You are very welcome, that is exactly why we created this channel, to help others not feel so alone 🙂

Thankyou so much for your comment, and Max says hello to Gideon! It seems that lots of countries are still new to learning about PDA, we hope that our videos give you some help without more on offer near you. We will have a new video coming soon, when Max feels ready to do it. 😁

Hi Bailey, thanks so much for your comment. It must be so tough to be on your own with no one else knowing about PDA around you. We hope the videos help you get a sense of community and that you aren’t alone. Hope you’re PDAer enjoys the videos too.

Thank you so much for your lovely comment, it means so much to us. We are sorry to hear that your son is struggling. Perhaps as he gets a bit older and starts to recognise what helps him he will be able to communicate. If it would help Max is quite happy to record private videos that wouldn’t be shared anywhere online where he can talk about whatever subject would help your son. Also if you are considering home education please feel free to drop us a message on our Facebook page where we are happy to discuss what we do and good Facebook groups to belong to. You and your son aren’t alone. It can be so tough. We have had so many children say that Max is the first child they have met with pda. So we understand how lonely the children can feel especially.x

Thank you so much! I’ve told Jude about Max and he said he would like a video about gaming! I will drop you a message on FB. Xx

Hi Sarah, we have replied to your message on Facebook. Will speak to max about the video 😁

🤯😱

Hi April, max tends to only use the sensory toys for a short period of time. We found that leaving them out or handy for him to discover on his own time helped him use them. There are many that he doesn’t find useful, but it helps to consider what type of under stimulation he is receiving, then focus on sensory items that help stimulate that sense. Hope that helps.

Hello, and Thankyou so much for the lovely comment. Max has responded to your questions as part of the latest video so please check them out 😀

Hi Liana, apologies for the delay on replying. So glad you found the video useful, it means a lot to us. We found the same when we were trying to research PDA so we wanted to try and help others in a similar situation

Max says Thankyou and that you are very welcome, he is so passionate about helping others and is able to hyper focus on the short time filming because he cares about it so much. We would have no chance at doing this if he wasn’t 100% on board.

@@Comfa wow what a beautiful heart he has!

Hi Sam, thankyou so much for your comment, it means a lot to us. We completely understand how lonely it can feel, but you are absolutely not alone. Hope you manage to get a diagnosis and things improve from there.

Did you get a diagnosis in the end?

Thank you, means a lot to him 😊

So glad you found the video helpful, it is so frustrating to hear the same experience over and over again

Max says hi Alex!

We are so happy to hear that Daniel, hearing things like that help us too. We hope our other videos continue to help you too.