Wes White Counseling
Wes White Counseling
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Your Holiday Survival Guide - Essential Tips to Manage Family Triggers
How to Avoid Regressing Around Family During the Holidays
In this video, I explore why being around family can cause you to regress to a former version of yourself, and provides practical tips to manage this. I'll explain how our brains rely on past experiences to navigate familiar spaces, causing us to revert to childhood behaviors. I also detail steps to identify triggers, reframe family interactions, set intentions, regulate emotions, and reflect post-holiday. This guidance aims to help you maintain your current, improved self when visiting family for the holidays.
00:00 Introduction: Understanding Regression Around Family
00:30 The Brain's Role in Regression
03:22 Triggers and Preparing for Family Interactions
04:07 Reframing Family Triggers
05:56 Setting Intentions for Family Gatherings
07:06 Emotional Regulation During Family Interactions
09:06 Reflecting and Resetting After the Holidays
10:07 Conclusion and Next Steps
Want more relationship advice? Check out these videos next:
✅ Understanding Affairs: Why They Happen and How to Prevent Them: th-cam.com/video/YyM-LsgPNuI/w-d-xo.html
✅ How to Stop Avoiding Conflict: th-cam.com/video/K6ubiilyIXQ/w-d-xo.html
👉 Like & Subscribe for more relationship advice and mental health tips. Let’s make the world a better place, one relationship at a time.
🔔 Don’t forget to turn on notifications for updates!
📚 Recommended Books: “Hold Me Tight,” “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” “Wired for Love”
📧 Contact for Couples Therapy: chicagorelationshipcounseling.com/
มุมมอง: 43

วีดีโอ

7 Common Relationship Conflict Patterns & How to Fix Them | Couples Therapy Advice
มุมมอง 71วันที่ผ่านมา
Do you and your partner get stuck in the same conflict cycles over and over again? You’re not alone! As a couples therapist, I’ve worked with many partners struggling with repeating arguments that seem impossible to break. In this video, I’ll share the 7 most common relationship conflict patterns that can damage a relationship-and what you can do to break free from them. We’ll cover conflict dy...
ANXIOUS Attachment Style Conflict Hacks: Advice From a Therapist
มุมมอง 8414 วันที่ผ่านมา
ANXIOUS Attachment Style Conflict Hacks: Practical Tips for Healing Anxious Attachment and Improving How You Deal with Conflict In this video, I delve into the concept of anxious attachment and its impact on relationships. I'll explain how anxious attachment, often rooted in childhood experiences with inconsistent caregivers, makes conflict feel threatening in adult relationships. The video fea...
How to Break Negative Cycles: Healthy Conflict Resolution Techniques
มุมมอง 438หลายเดือนก่อน
Breaking Free from Negative Conflict Cycles in Relationships In this video, we explore how to break free from negative conflict cycles in relationships. Learn about the harmful effects of these cycles, how to identify them, and a multi-step process to effectively handle conflicts. The video discusses common patterns like blame and defend, the importance of using 'I' statements, active listening...
Understanding Affairs: Why They Happen and How to Prevent Them
มุมมอง 745หลายเดือนก่อน
Why Infidelity Happens and How to Prevent It: Insights from Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Shirley Glass In this video, I explore the reasons behind infidelity and how to prevent it in relationships. Drawing from the research of Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Shirley Glass, we will discuss emotional intimacy, the walls and windows theory, and the downward spiral into infidelity. Using a fictional couple as...
Love Maps: How to Really KNOW Your Partner & Build CONNECTION
มุมมอง 132 หลายเดือนก่อน
Love Maps: Insights from Dr. John Gottman In this video, we explore a concept called love maps, introduced by Dr. John Gottman. Love maps are mental representations of your partner's world, essential for building strong, resilient relationships. By staying curious and asking detailed questions about your partner's internal and external life, you can forge a deeper connection and improve your re...
How to Live a Meaningful Life by Reflecting on Death
มุมมอง 49ปีที่แล้ว
The practice of reflecting on death and remembering that one day you will die allows you to put your limited time on earth in perspective and live in a more meaningful way. As you set goals this year I encourage you to adopt this practice to identify what really matters to you and the type of life you want to be living. Incorporating this into daily journaling or reflection can be a great way t...
8 Tips for Setting Effective Goals in 2023
มุมมอง 62ปีที่แล้ว
It’s the new year which means goal setting and resolutions are in the air. It’s a great time for a fresh start, but many people (myself included) struggle to achieve the goals they set. In this video lll give you 6 tips for setting goals you will actually stick to, based on behavioral science research and my own experience. Hope you enjoy! Looking for relationship advice? Check out these videos...
Family Triggers: How to Act Like Your Best Self during the Holidays
มุมมอง 43ปีที่แล้ว
If you have anxiety about going home for the holidays this video is for you. When we visit our family, sometimes it feels like all of the growth we have achieved goes out the window and we start to act like our child self all over again. This can lead us to react in ways we don't want to and mismanage our emotions. It's important to prepare before reentering these environments and have a plan f...
6 Steps to Building Confidence
มุมมอง 592 ปีที่แล้ว
Confidence is tied to so many aspects of overall mental health and success in life. In this video I explain the key points from Russ Harris' excellent book The Confidence Gap, which explains how to use the key concepts from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to build more confidence. ACT is a therapy method that I have used with clients, is research backed, and has been incredibly helpful ...
9 Cognitive Distortions You Probably Fall into (And How To Overcome Them!) - CBT Techniques
มุมมอง 492 ปีที่แล้ว
9 Cognitive Distortions You Probably Fall into (And How To Overcome Them!) - CBT Techniques
How To Spot & Deal with Gaslighting - The Silent Abuse that Can Threaten Your Relationship
มุมมอง 542 ปีที่แล้ว
How To Spot & Deal with Gaslighting - The Silent Abuse that Can Threaten Your Relationship
How to Stop Avoiding Conflict: Tips for Conflict Avoidant Partners in Relationships
มุมมอง 8132 ปีที่แล้ว
How to Stop Avoiding Conflict: Tips for Conflict Avoidant Partners in Relationships
8 Red Flags of a Potential Abuser in Your Relationship
มุมมอง 1002 ปีที่แล้ว
8 Red Flags of a Potential Abuser in Your Relationship
3 Life-Changing Lessons I've Learned From Therapy - Relationships
มุมมอง 272 ปีที่แล้ว
3 Life-Changing Lessons I've Learned From Therapy - Relationships
Overcoming Low Self Esteem: 6 Keys to Building Self Confidence
มุมมอง 612 ปีที่แล้ว
Overcoming Low Self Esteem: 6 Keys to Building Self Confidence
5 Things to Do To Avoid Relationship Failure: The CARAT Method
มุมมอง 862 ปีที่แล้ว
5 Things to Do To Avoid Relationship Failure: The CARAT Method
3 Ways Childhood Trauma is Passed to Others: How Intergenerational Trauma Happens
มุมมอง 302 ปีที่แล้ว
3 Ways Childhood Trauma is Passed to Others: How Intergenerational Trauma Happens
How to Find Your Core Values: Fight Anxiety & Live a Happier Life
มุมมอง 882 ปีที่แล้ว
How to Find Your Core Values: Fight Anxiety & Live a Happier Life
How to Handle Conflict in Your Relationship: 8 Tips for Successfully Navigating Conflict
มุมมอง 382 ปีที่แล้ว
How to Handle Conflict in Your Relationship: 8 Tips for Successfully Navigating Conflict
How to FIX the 4 Most Harmful Relationship Issues! (Gottman Part 2 of 2)
มุมมอง 692 ปีที่แล้ว
How to FIX the 4 Most Harmful Relationship Issues! (Gottman Part 2 of 2)
6 Red Flags That Predict With 94% Accuracy If Your Relationship will Last: (Gottman Part 1 of 2)
มุมมอง 1462 ปีที่แล้ว
6 Red Flags That Predict With 94% Accuracy If Your Relationship will Last: (Gottman Part 1 of 2)
How to End Negative Conflict Patterns in Your Relationship: Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
มุมมอง 932 ปีที่แล้ว
How to End Negative Conflict Patterns in Your Relationship: Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
How to Change Your Attachment Style as an Adult - (Attachment Styles Part 2)
มุมมอง 202 ปีที่แล้ว
How to Change Your Attachment Style as an Adult - (Attachment Styles Part 2)
How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Romantic Relationships - (Attachment Styles Part 1 of 2)
มุมมอง 272 ปีที่แล้ว
How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Romantic Relationships - (Attachment Styles Part 1 of 2)
How to Improve Your Relationship in Just 6 Hours a Week (Gottman Method)
มุมมอง 462 ปีที่แล้ว
How to Improve Your Relationship in Just 6 Hours a Week (Gottman Method)
What Really IS Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? How to Identify the Symptoms of PTSD
มุมมอง 82 ปีที่แล้ว
What Really IS Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)? How to Identify the Symptoms of PTSD
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work: Gottman Method for Improving Your Relationship
มุมมอง 1002 ปีที่แล้ว
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work: Gottman Method for Improving Your Relationship
How to Have Hard Conversations: Lessons from Crucial Conversations
มุมมอง 22 ปีที่แล้ว
How to Have Hard Conversations: Lessons from Crucial Conversations
How to Build Good Habits (Lessons from Atomic Habits)
มุมมอง 102 ปีที่แล้ว
How to Build Good Habits (Lessons from Atomic Habits)

ความคิดเห็น

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Great synopsis of family triggers. Excellent!!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    How do you feel about the holidays coming up? Let me know in the comments below!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Terrific explanation of seven toxic couple issues. I believe in many instances, they don’t understand.

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Do you find yourself slipping into any of these conflict patterns? Comment here which one and what tends to happen!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Very interesting and informative! This will really help so many people!!😊

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Is this a pattern you’ve encountered in your relationship? Let me know in the comments below!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Very informative and needed in today’s relationships! Wonderful explanation and very, very helpful!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling หลายเดือนก่อน

    Did you find this video helpful? Let me know in the comments below!

  • @AlejandroAI
    @AlejandroAI หลายเดือนก่อน

    is there hope to rekindle a relationship after a partner broke up because she didnt receive emotional validation?

    • @weswhitecounseling
      @weswhitecounseling หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes there is hope, especially if you are able to show them that you have worked on these issues and can give them the kind of validation they need. I think that learning to recognize the emotions they are feeling and respond to them in a supportive, validating way can take some practice, but can go a long way to rebuilding a relationship that has had issues.

    • @AlejandroAI
      @AlejandroAI หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@weswhitecounseling thanks a lot for your reply.

    • @our.secret1130
      @our.secret1130 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@AlejandroAIhow long were you together

    • @AlejandroAI
      @AlejandroAI หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@our.secret1130 2 years

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great advice--LISTEN!!!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great advice--LISTEN!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling หลายเดือนก่อน

    Was this video helpful? Let me know any questions and how it impacted you in the comments below!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling หลายเดือนก่อน

    Do you feel like you have a strong map of your partner's world? Let me know what you use to maintain your relationship map in the comments below!

  • @marizanestoltz5967
    @marizanestoltz5967 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks, you've helped out a conflict avoidant introvert in the workplace

  • @mini69
    @mini69 ปีที่แล้ว

    Damn, thats me

  • @nitacollins3645
    @nitacollins3645 ปีที่แล้ว

    if you have a single unstable parent you fear what will happen to you if they die.

  • @oliviawhite6661
    @oliviawhite6661 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very good, insightful video. Looking forward to another

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is your best video yet!! Very thoughtful and needed! Five stars!!

  • @cartheman100
    @cartheman100 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great tips for keeping those resolutions!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Let me know in the comments what has helped you keep your resolutions in the past!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very helpful video! These habits may finally allow me to keep some resolutions!😊

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Really enjoyed this. A lot of good suggestions

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Let me know here what questions you have and what other topics you want me to cover!

  • @beeARTcanada
    @beeARTcanada 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great suggestions on how to improve. Thanks.

    • @weswhitecounseling
      @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for watching! Glad it was helpful :)

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What should I cover next? Let me know in the comments below!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Really love the video! Great advice.

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Do any of these Cognitive Distortions show up in your life? Which ones are the hardest for you?

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very Helpful!

  • @oliviawhite6661
    @oliviawhite6661 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very informative!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for watching! If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out for support: 800.799.SAFE (7233) I also recommend checking out the Domestic Violence Hotline website for more information on this topic: www.thehotline.org/resources/a-deeper-look-into-gaslighting/

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very interesting. Great discussion!

  • @aidanwhite7027
    @aidanwhite7027 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great lessons as always Wes! I definitely avoid conflict more than I’d like and your points are helpful to put a name on it and reach the next level with my partner

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What was the best part of this video for you? Let me know what other topics you might want me to cover below!

  • @lcw5662
    @lcw5662 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Really informative, so helpful for many, especially women in relationships. Thanks

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video! I agree that all control revolves around selfishness and control.

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Have you ever noticed yourself or someone you have been in a relationship with falling into any of these patterns? If it's you, remember it is possible to change these behaviors over time and the first step is recognizing the problem. For support in an abusive relationship, please visit: www.thehotline.org/ or call 800.799.SAFE (7233)

  • @brookebkb90
    @brookebkb90 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    your current relationship sounds great!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Really sound advice! Great video!!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Was this video helpful to you? Let me know any questions you have and what you want me to cover next!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Which of the 6 principles stood out most to you? Leave your comment below and let me know what topic you want me to cover next!

  • @peterwhite947
    @peterwhite947 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Insightful, clear, and informative. Thank you, Wes White.

    • @weswhitecounseling
      @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for the support

  • @brookebkb90
    @brookebkb90 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    🔥🐼🔥

  • @peterM10
    @peterM10 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Keep Going

    • @weswhitecounseling
      @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I will, thank you for the support! If you have other topics you want me to cover, please let me know!

  • @wpwhite6192
    @wpwhite6192 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Terrific ideas for a long-lasting marriage. Very impressive and informative!!

  • @weswhitecounseling
    @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    How have these principles shown up in your own relationship? Which one seems easiest and hardest to implement? Let me know!

  • @pistonmiston2183
    @pistonmiston2183 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Any active email address please?

    • @weswhitecounseling
      @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello! You can reach me at wes@weswhitecoaching.com

  • @jmlouie
    @jmlouie 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    How do I know if my new intended values are true to me and my actual values or if they are values that I've adopted because I think they are good though still not true to me? Are there things I can be mindful of or watch for or is it something that I will need to discover by feeling displeasure as I pursue the new values?

    • @weswhitecounseling
      @weswhitecounseling 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi Jonathan, that's a great question. It's a hard one too :) Here are some thoughts... As you mentioned, it can be hard to figure this out, but one way is to try your new value on and see how it feels for you. To identify whether it really doesn't fit requires self knowledge and an understanding of what "feeling right" really means for you. So how do you get to an understanding of what "feels right" to you? Here are 4 things to consider: 1. When you pick the new value, question yourself. Ask, who shares this value with me? Am I ok with sharing my values with that person? (Often this means our parents, but not always) Really sit with the question and feel out what comes up for you. 2. Look for "shoulds" -- am I adopting this value because I think I "should" have it? Then ask where that "should" came from and if you really support that source. Look for counterexamples here of people living the opposite or a different style of this value. A few good examples here are "wealth," and "productivity," which in America are obviously things we prize. But those values may have come from cultural expectations or media, and we can see that in different cultures those two values are not necessarily shared. In the cultures or people who don't share those values, are they happy living life in a different way? By finding counterexamples you begin to breakdown your own expectations of what you "should" value, then you can decide for yourself what is important. At that point, once you know your potential value may not have come from you, then you have a choice to make -- do I want to support this value for me or not? In the end that part is up to you and there isn't necessarily a wrong choice. 3. Whatever you choose, be careful to avoid blaming yourself for the choice -- it's your life and you get to decide what's important to you. 4. Your values do not need to be the same forever, you should try some on, realize they don't feel right, and change them. We all change and evolve throughout life too, so it's helpful to go through this exercise every few years / months depending on your stage in life. I hope that helps! Let me know if you have more questions :)

  • @IRISHJITZ
    @IRISHJITZ 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    hey good luck with your channel

  • @lanhuang4715
    @lanhuang4715 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Loved your presentation ❤️

  • @saidbachirii3563
    @saidbachirii3563 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    new short book: MATHEMATICAL PSYCHOLOGY BACHIRI at amazon 3$