FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching Join My VIP Group for $7-- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/ Self-Love the Book: www.selflovethebook.com The "What Would Love Do?" Podcast www.jonathonaslay.com/category/podcast/ Recommended Books jonathonaslay.com/book-recommendations Follow Me On Instagram instagram.com/jonathonaslay/ Join this channel to get access to perks: th-cam.com/channels/DOXs_34FF93o66Z-S0py1g.htmljoin Get a FREE copy of my dating vows here: www.jonathonaslay.com/datingvows
Finally, I met a man who accepts communication, apologizes, asks my opinion on things, takes suggestions. This is very NEW to me. I'm in heaven. I'm 71!
Well this is a video directed to women. There are dating coaches who focus on teaching men, we just don't watch those. I will probably watch Jonathan's videos for men when he uploads them. The important thing to note, that took me a long time to learn, is that we have to teach all people how to treat us. That means speaking up when we feel disrespected or mistreated. Its something I'm still learning to do, and I'm not shy! I'm a loudmouth Italian 😂 but I still struggle with finding the words to express how I expect to be treated.
Exactly! At least 80% divorces are initiated by women. This means all these women were so fed up with men, they couldn't see any other option but to walk out. ALL men I talked to whined that their women stopped having sex with them years prior to divorce. Clearly, women were so pissed off by their men, they wanted nothing to do with them. So now we hear from every single coach what women have to do to get a guy lol The thing is most women I know don't even want a guy other than occassionally go out. Most self efficient women are not interested in having sex with these men at the start. Well, to gaslight women and put more pressure on them, Bumble came up with a new "interest" - "sex positivity"😂. So if you don't fuck with them off the start, something is wrong with YOU! This "sex positivity" interest on a man's profile is a huge red flag. It screams "I am desparate for a hooker"! These losers who were dropped by their wives/gfs now have inflated sense of sex entitlement. This is a new Bumble hook up strategy for men. The latest guy I just conversed, whined that he left his gf of 15 years because she was willing to have sex with him only "two ways"! The loser kept whining that most "people" he met on these apps want nothing to do with him. According to him, they were "all conventional and didn't want to talk to him about sex" lol Well, this dude has "sex positivity" at the top of his Bumble interests hoping he will find a fool who will bring his porn dreams to reality and let him have her all 100 ways he saw in porn films. I am sure a day will come when he feels he was lucky to even have sex "two ways" with his former gf. Men would have to come up with a very big game plan to get women even interested to have lunch with them. Instead, we see 100s strategies women have to go by to get a guy lol Well, the truth is we are fine without them lol
I agree, in general they place the responsibility in us women. Example: A man is going to try to get sex from us early on when dating ( and it’s ok, because that’s how men are !? ) That enables men to behave like animals, and lie to us if necessary. Is the woman’s job to stop him … Nobody tells men it’s not ok to touch her or disrespect her, to cross her boundaries, to lie and to fake love just to try to get sex. There is No One out there disapproving these concepts and/or sending the message that we women are not sexual objects .
Well, we all love you J.A., our handsome, outspoken TH-cam coach that tells it like it is! And, we all grow & benefit from it. That's my compliment/gift for you this chilly Sunday. Sending thankfulness.
I appreciate that you not only present those keys but you also respectfully present a call to action by way of asking mirroring questions! After you said what they were, I began feeling like I had work to do on myself and saw those keys like a mirror. Am I intentional? Am I agreeable while still retaining my assertiveness? Am I able to strike that perfect balance between being playfully sensual while also being emotionally intimate? Well it's back to the firing range now and putting these into practice! Thank you so much for sharing!
Submission is just a knowing of utter and complete trust in a man. You can bring anything to him. Body mind soul problem issues whatever… and he won’t intentionally wreck it The man is the rock for the woman. It’s biological. Women need safety and security and men need respect and appreciation.
@@JonathonAslay of course not! Women and men bring different things to the table. Being able to completely trust a man to take care of things is what men love because it’s innate for them. It’s a KNOWING that you can give a man every piece of you and he won’t do anything to hurt you and he will try his best to lead and fix the issue. It doesn’t mean you completely rely on a man for everything. But most women have problems with this because a lot of men are covertly controlling so women have a hard time completely letting go and leaning back. Thats why women have to really vet a man to make sure he’s reliable and shows through actions that he can handle anything. He may not succeed everytime but if his pattern is 9/10 leading a woman and giving her that safety and stability she can completely surrender. And then she can bring her feminine qualities to the table. It allows both men and women to bring their best selves to the relationship. But women have a lot of issues letting go of control and trusting. A woman should have financial independence and learn self regulation and solid emotional health. But that doesn’t mean you can’t give a man the hard stuff to solve. Multiple things can be true at the same time and majority of people are living with a black and white cognitive distortion and it doesn’t leave any room for growth or surrender to live in joy and peace
I have been deeply wounded but I’m absolutely fun and playful and sensual. I think once I learn all these things from Jonathan and his coaching…I’ll be sooo ready to find a quality person !!
I turned a potential love interest on to you - although we are both 71 years old - think your content is still very applicable. Thank you and I appreciate your openess of sharing personal information.
How is all this not common sense? I will absolutely be prickly person when I'm not respected and if I'm not taken care of and feel safe, no woman is going to be sensual and playful when she's in survival mode. 🤷
Yes, very good information and I think people in a relationship or not should be "not prickly" but fun, happy if possible. Enjoy as much as you can feel with others. In a relationship enjoy every aspect you can and tell them what you do like. Also tell them in a kind way what doesnt make you as happy. ❤❤
I just saw that this video was made 4 days before I connected with my current boyfriend who is absolutely wonderful and treats me like gold. We've been dating almost 4 months and the only "issue" is even tho he treats me like he loves me, he was widowed over a year ago and has not told me he does. in my past relationships we said the L word probably after a couple of months but actions didn't match words. They were emotionally abusive. So I'll just enjoy our time together and maybe someday he'll be able to say it to me ❤
I'm so excited to have found you Jonathan and all this,valuable info! I am about to have my eighth date with a guy that I really really really like. I have not dated in 20 plus years and just got out of a long relationship that was not too great.
Whoa, Jonathon! How cool! I think GUS connected us on this one. 2:21 I was at the gym this Sunday afternoon and happened to be brainstorming some questions to get aquatinted with your professional and personal opinion on how to handle the Four Horsemen. Just to notice ny own patterns, let me look back at my own experience with the FHs. Once I was told that there was no intentionality, I stonewalled, then he said to me, "Celia, let me live." So, I got back to talking with him on the couch. Friend zoning because that's what I thought was all that was working. So, my questions were: 1. Once you see one or more of the FHs, is it too late or can you detox the relationship at some point or mood? 2. Is it unwise to simply abort the relationship once either is showing any or all of the FHs? Is it just over anyway? 3. What's a good way to prevent the FHs? In your opinion, is prevention possible, good, bad, necessary or unnecessary? Living together, for example, is going to cause one person to critique or criticize the other person on something. Nagging, fair or unfair critiques, and confrontations is not something I like, but maybe they can be enjoyed with humor.
I did start fresh with my recent failed marriage. I “forgave” many of the same bad behaviors. I was not able to forget the previous ill treatments; especially since he would come out with “I am not treating you any kind of way.” I feel the whole thing was just a game for him. I noticed early in the relationship that there was minimal effort with regard to the necessary chores… I brought up these issues until I decided to just do all the household chores myself. I know I am too agreeable and I don’t want to become that prickly person. What I am trying to learn now is how do I go forward without meeting someone similar and repeating this same dysfunctional situation?
Why? Because I waited 5 years after becoming a widow and I’d like to know what questions to ask earlier in the next relationship so I can find someone who will allow it to be give and take. This guy overestimated his ability to manipulate. Of course there are many other incidents during this past year that I consider controlling behaviors. I know how to have my power in a marriage when I am dealing with a normal loving person. I will be listening for your advice.
The key to not repeating the past is to recognize your part in it, see what you learned from the different situations, and becoming that woman who will not be in that situation again. To not repeat the past, we need to change ourselves. And love ourselves...
If your expectations aren't talked about and met early in the relationship, do not continue. How was chores addressed? Did you demand or ask? I found men don't like to be told what to do but when asked "could you when you get a minute" it's all the delivery. If the only problem was chores, then introspection is needed on your part as well.
Some men have difficulty discussing things and either won’t speak for a few days or just keep repeating the same things not open to accepting other ideas with phrases like “that’s the way I am, take it or leave it”. How do you deal with that?
My guy tells me he’s crazy inlove. He’s attentive and giving and we get along great. The other day I was showing him photos of my kids and I caught him looking at his phone and not paying attention !!
@@Bb-k4gd he should have said that after I said something I suppose but I didn’t tell him I caught him . On our first date he showed me his entire families’ photos and I quietly and patiently and politely listened to Him and he went on and on!!
Jonathan - how did you make up that stat about emotional maturity skills? I understand you're saying it's your opinion / perception, but I'm curious if it's based off of any research. I don't mean to nit-pick I'm just genuinely curious about it b/c I'd love to learn more. It's a really important way to perceive dating!
Men seem to dislike it when a woman he's interested in starts telling him about her past relationships. 0:47 I guess it's safer for a woman to talk about her past when the man asks her.
Jonathan, dude!!! That color looks so good on you, and the way you run your hand through your hair and that strong, wise, intelligence and sexy voice. Oh my, Dahlink, you look mahvelouz 😉. I’m just serious. My previous offer for a date still stands 😘😊.
Thought your viewers might want to listen to this if they don't have the book . . . Nonviolent Communication #5 with Marshall Rosenberg 👉 How Nonviolent Communication Can Support Us in Deepening Our Intimate Relationships . . . m.th-cam.com/video/L96Fo2R7E38/w-d-xo.html&pp=iAQB
A woman being in her feminine energy and letting a man lead, does NOT mean she doesn’t vet or ask questions. It means she asks in non-aggressive ways, AND it means she doesn’t waste her time with men who don’t show what she’s looking for in dating.
![NISAMANEE - TADA (ท้าดา) [ OFFICIAL MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hcQHEPMmJpU/mqdefault.jpg)
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Finally, I met a man who accepts communication, apologizes, asks my opinion on things, takes suggestions. This is very NEW to me. I'm in heaven. I'm 71!
Have you noticed it's always "what a woman needs to do/put out" in order to have men treat them correctly? It's never on the men themselves.
I'm recording videos for me too...
Well this is a video directed to women. There are dating coaches who focus on teaching men, we just don't watch those. I will probably watch Jonathan's videos for men when he uploads them. The important thing to note, that took me a long time to learn, is that we have to teach all people how to treat us. That means speaking up when we feel disrespected or mistreated. Its something I'm still learning to do, and I'm not shy! I'm a loudmouth Italian 😂 but I still struggle with finding the words to express how I expect to be treated.
@@JonathonAslayIt is refreshing to hear you affirm that you are practicing what you are literally preaching!
Exactly! At least 80% divorces are initiated by women. This means all these women were so fed up with men, they couldn't see any other option but to walk out. ALL men I talked to whined that their women stopped having sex with them years prior to divorce. Clearly, women were so pissed off by their men, they wanted nothing to do with them. So now we hear from every single coach what women have to do to get a guy lol The thing is most women I know don't even want a guy other than occassionally go out. Most self efficient women are not interested in having sex with these men at the start. Well, to gaslight women and put more pressure on them, Bumble came up with a new "interest" - "sex positivity"😂. So if you don't fuck with them off the start, something is wrong with YOU! This "sex positivity" interest on a man's profile is a huge red flag. It screams "I am desparate for a hooker"! These losers who were dropped by their wives/gfs now have inflated sense of sex entitlement. This is a new Bumble hook up strategy for men. The latest guy I just conversed, whined that he left his gf of 15 years because she was willing to have sex with him only "two ways"! The loser kept whining that most "people" he met on these apps want nothing to do with him. According to him, they were "all conventional and didn't want to talk to him about sex" lol Well, this dude has "sex positivity" at the top of his Bumble interests hoping he will find a fool who will bring his porn dreams to reality and let him have her all 100 ways he saw in porn films. I am sure a day will come when he feels he was lucky to even have sex "two ways" with his former gf. Men would have to come up with a very big game plan to get women even interested to have lunch with them. Instead, we see 100s strategies women have to go by to get a guy lol Well, the truth is we are fine without them lol
I agree, in general they place the responsibility in us women. Example: A man is going to try to get sex from us early on when dating ( and it’s ok, because that’s how men are !? ) That enables men to behave like animals, and lie to us if necessary. Is the woman’s job to stop him … Nobody tells men it’s not ok to touch her or disrespect her, to cross her boundaries, to lie and to fake love just to try to get sex. There is No One out there disapproving these concepts and/or sending the message that we women are not sexual objects .
Stephan Speaks is awesome!
Mark Ballenger also…🙏🏽
I forgot… Matt Boggs also!
Praying you find your beloved! 💍
I don't know Mark, I'll check him out. Thank you
Well, we all love you J.A., our handsome, outspoken TH-cam coach that tells it like it is! And, we all grow & benefit from it.
That's my compliment/gift for you this chilly Sunday. Sending thankfulness.
awe... thank you. Much appreciated.
Very well said and I concur. Thanks so much Jonathan. You have been a blessing in my life!!!! And others’ lives !!!!!
I appreciate that you not only present those keys but you also respectfully present a call to action by way of asking mirroring questions! After you said what they were, I began feeling like I had work to do on myself and saw those keys like a mirror. Am I intentional? Am I agreeable while still retaining my assertiveness? Am I able to strike that perfect balance between being playfully sensual while also being emotionally intimate?
Well it's back to the firing range now and putting these into practice! Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you 😊
If by chance a man is kind enough to hold a door open for me he WILL get a compliment.
👍🏼
Submission is just a knowing of utter and complete trust in a man. You can bring anything to him. Body mind soul problem issues whatever… and he won’t intentionally wreck it
The man is the rock for the woman. It’s biological. Women need safety and security and men need respect and appreciation.
Are you suggesting that if they need it, they can't survive without them?
@@JonathonAslay of course not! Women and men bring different things to the table. Being able to completely trust a man to take care of things is what men love because it’s innate for them. It’s a KNOWING that you can give a man every piece of you and he won’t do anything to hurt you and he will try his best to lead and fix the issue. It doesn’t mean you completely rely on a man for everything. But most women have problems with this because a lot of men are covertly controlling so women have a hard time completely letting go and leaning back. Thats why women have to really vet a man to make sure he’s reliable and shows through actions that he can handle anything. He may not succeed everytime but if his pattern is 9/10 leading a woman and giving her that safety and stability she can completely surrender. And then she can bring her feminine qualities to the table. It allows both men and women to bring their best selves to the relationship. But women have a lot of issues letting go of control and trusting. A woman should have financial independence and learn self regulation and solid emotional health. But that doesn’t mean you can’t give a man the hard stuff to solve. Multiple things can be true at the same time and majority of people are living with a black and white cognitive distortion and it doesn’t leave any room for growth or surrender to live in joy and peace
I have been deeply wounded but I’m absolutely fun and playful and sensual. I think once I learn all these things from
Jonathan and his coaching…I’ll be sooo ready to find a quality person !!
You so deserve it beautiful lady xxx
I turned a potential love interest on to you - although we are both 71 years old - think your content is still very applicable. Thank you and I appreciate your openess of sharing personal information.
Wow, thank you!
How is all this not common sense?
I will absolutely be prickly person when I'm not respected and if I'm not taken care of and feel safe, no woman is going to be sensual and playful when she's in survival mode. 🤷
Exactly
Straight to the point.Amen !Ty Jonathan!😂❤
Yes, very good information and I think people in a relationship or not should be "not prickly" but fun, happy if possible. Enjoy as much as you can feel with others. In a relationship enjoy every aspect you can and tell them what you do like. Also tell them in a kind way what doesnt make you as happy. ❤❤
Well said!
Also to our leader, Jonathan, the blue is nice on you and very interesting topic. Thank you!😊
Thank you kindly!
This is an awesome video! Congrats to you, Jonathon, and thank you so much!
Many people should listen carefully every word you say. This is pure gold.
I appreciate that!
@@JonathonAslay I do appreciate your wisdom.
I just saw that this video was made 4 days before I connected with my current boyfriend who is absolutely wonderful and treats me like gold. We've been dating almost 4 months and the only "issue" is even tho he treats me like he loves me, he was widowed over a year ago and has not told me he does. in my past relationships we said the L word probably after a couple of months but actions didn't match words. They were emotionally abusive. So I'll just enjoy our time together and maybe someday he'll be able to say it to me ❤
My mother used to abandon my father and me too I can really relate to this
I'm so excited to have found you Jonathan and all this,valuable info! I am about to have my eighth date with a guy that I really really really like. I have not dated in 20 plus years and just got out of a long relationship that was not too great.
Welcome aboard!
Great video and you are right got to pay each Compliment. I hope i spelled that right.. thank you Jonathan
Yep ✨️
Great information today, Jonathon!So appreciate it!Thank you.
Glad it was helpful!
Whoa, Jonathon! How cool! I think GUS connected us on this one. 2:21
I was at the gym this Sunday afternoon and happened to be brainstorming some questions to get aquatinted with your professional and personal opinion on how to handle the Four Horsemen.
Just to notice ny own patterns, let me look back at my own experience with the FHs.
Once I was told that there was no intentionality, I stonewalled, then he said to me, "Celia, let me live." So, I got back to talking with him on the couch. Friend zoning because that's what I thought was all that was working.
So, my questions were:
1. Once you see one or more of the FHs, is it too late or can you detox the relationship at some point or mood?
2. Is it unwise to simply abort the relationship once either is showing any or all of the FHs? Is it just over anyway?
3. What's a good way to prevent the FHs? In your opinion, is prevention possible, good, bad, necessary or unnecessary?
Living together, for example, is going to cause one person to critique or criticize the other person on something.
Nagging, fair or unfair critiques, and confrontations is not something I like, but maybe they can be enjoyed with humor.
Love your message, your ability to clarify and learn from these challenges outlined.
Thank you Jonathan❤
I appreciate that!
I did start fresh with my recent failed marriage. I “forgave” many of the same bad behaviors. I was not able to forget the previous ill treatments; especially since he would come out with “I am not treating you any kind of way.” I feel the whole thing was just a game for him. I noticed early in the relationship that there was minimal effort with regard to the necessary chores… I brought up these issues until I decided to just do all the household chores myself. I know I am too agreeable and I don’t want to become that prickly person. What I am trying to learn now is how do I go forward without meeting someone similar and repeating this same dysfunctional situation?
Why?
Why? Because I waited 5 years after becoming a widow and I’d like to know what questions to ask earlier in the next relationship so I can find someone who will allow it to be give and take. This guy overestimated his ability to manipulate. Of course there are many other incidents during this past year that I consider controlling behaviors. I know how to have my power in a marriage when I am dealing with a normal loving person. I will be listening for your advice.
The key to not repeating the past is to recognize your part in it, see what you learned from the different situations, and becoming that woman who will not be in that situation again. To not repeat the past, we need to change ourselves. And love ourselves...
If your expectations aren't talked about and met early in the relationship, do not continue. How was chores addressed? Did you demand or ask? I found men don't like to be told what to do but when asked "could you when you get a minute" it's all the delivery. If the only problem was chores, then introspection is needed on your part as well.
Starting fresh a great idea
Hi Jonathan . Thank you very much for your informative information as always.
My pleasure!
Happy new year 🎉
You look great ❤
Love this video. I will share this with my love.
Awesome! Thank you!
Some men have difficulty discussing things and either won’t speak for a few days or just keep repeating the same things not open to accepting other ideas with phrases like “that’s the way I am, take it or leave it”. How do you deal with that?
Great job as always👍🏻🎉
Thank you! Cheers!
Love this video
Very good video.
Thank you very much!
Always helpful.
Glad to hear that!
My guy tells me he’s crazy inlove. He’s attentive and giving and we get along great. The other day I was showing him photos of my kids and I caught him looking at his phone and not paying attention !!
And?
Oh sorry Marcie . I hate it when that happens, you were sharing something so dear to you. How disrespectful. Did you say anything?…
I didn’t say anything. Maybe I should
Have. I just stopped sharing …maybe I’ll say something if he does it again
@@Bb-k4gd he should have said that after I said something I suppose but I didn’t tell him I caught him . On our first date he showed me his entire families’ photos and I quietly and patiently and politely listened to
Him and he went on and on!!
@@Tbn48ibp That’s unfair… sounds a lil selfish … worth looking into it , to see if it was circumstantial or that’s part of his MO.
And when they give, they do so with some reward in mind.
I love your videos
Thank you 😊
Sensuality is important I think I have almost forgotten mine
Exactly
Jonathon I want to subscribe to your utube membership but I can’t find where I do it. Yes I know I left but I am an idiot sometimes 😮
Www.jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
I don’t want to know
Jonathan - how did you make up that stat about emotional maturity skills? I understand you're saying it's your opinion / perception, but I'm curious if it's based off of any research. I don't mean to nit-pick I'm just genuinely curious about it b/c I'd love to learn more. It's a really important way to perceive dating!
It's an illustration not based on fact... merely my opinion.
Yes mutual agreement
I will live my alone,for the rest of my life. I can’t find a man, that really likes me, or me them
Men seem to dislike it when a woman he's interested in starts telling him about her past relationships. 0:47
I guess it's safer for a woman to talk about her past when the man asks her.
Hate is a strong word
@@JonathonAslay I agree. I'm going to change that to dislike, but I'm not a man to really know if that's even a better word for it. 🤔
I'm snowed in, no power... I'll be there 😉
K 👍🏼
So funny! Where are you?
@@aquamarine0303 Portland. It's been a wild weekend so far!
Why not run a retreat
Yes!
On the list...
Do you have an initial interest list to join?
@@JonathonAslay Me too?
@@JonathonAslay Come to beautiful chocolate country 🧚🏾♀️ please 🙏
Is there an emotional maturity standard?
Jonathan, dude!!! That color looks so good on you, and the way you run your hand through your hair and that strong, wise, intelligence and sexy voice. Oh my, Dahlink, you look mahvelouz 😉. I’m just serious. My previous offer for a date still stands 😘😊.
awe... thank you. ☺
Happy Sunday Jonathan and all! "Swimming in a sea.....suckling on the nipple of....juicy and delicious!" Sounds like a pool party to me! lol
Lol 😆
Nice Flowers
Thank you! Cheers!
I think the Gottmans are amazing
I thought you were going to say it took your mother 72 years to process her feelings. I hope she changed eventually.
Hours... 😀
❤Sweetly Sweetie Sweeter ❤
Some need poor relief, what will they give?
Thought your viewers might want to listen to this if they don't have the book . . .
Nonviolent Communication #5
with Marshall Rosenberg
👉 How Nonviolent Communication Can Support Us in Deepening Our Intimate Relationships . . .
m.th-cam.com/video/L96Fo2R7E38/w-d-xo.html&pp=iAQB
Is that photo behind your right shoulder of you and Shane Dawson? Wow.
Nope... it's my son.
A woman being in her feminine energy and letting a man lead, does NOT mean she doesn’t vet or ask questions. It means she asks in non-aggressive ways, AND it means she doesn’t waste her time with men who don’t show what she’s looking for in dating.
Asking questions is about empowerment and taking the lead her life.
Can’t watch it’s at 2.30 am for me
It's recorded 🙌
😃💖
Sensuality and playfullness...Tantric ❤
60% dysfunctional… this is bleak
Jonathan…. Have I told you lately just how handsome you are?❤
Awe... thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Another great talk! BIG BIG HUGGS🫂 Jonathan
Thanks for listening