Speaking Mistakes: Ending Your Sentences With Power, with Ramit Sethi
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
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Two more tips as simple as this. Wait two seconds before speaking. (E.g instead of saying hi, how are you, go hi, (2 second pause) how are you. Makes you sound more confident powerful.
Second tip is decrease the frequency you nod your head and when you do nod make it much slower, this will make you seem like you are considering something more and will make the person you are speaking to feel you care more.
The Charisma Myth, i'm currently reading it. Hopefully i can apply it and improve myself. How would you rate the book?
Tung Hatastic honestly 11 months ago when I wrote this I thought it was great, but doing deeper personal development work over this past year, has made me realise that a much more effective strategy at attaining this is to let go of caring what others think of you. This enables you true freedom to express your authentic self and makes you magnetic. But if you're not quiet at the stage where you're open to this belief this book is best for you now probably ;)
@tungha7509 how did the book work out for you?
Ending your phrases in an uptone is annoying as hell for the listener to hear because it sounds like the person isn't confident in the knowledge they are conveying.
I've noticed that I do this -at least- half the time. Thank you so much for the helpful tip. I really enjoy your videos even though not all of it applies to me. There is still so much I can get out of these while preparing to try and get my first job.
You did the upturn voice, too. But I get it and agree. It is maddening.
Ramit ended lots of sentences with an upturn as well... But great job!
I have noticed this upturn in people who speak English as a second language a lot. Almost a lack of confidence in their linguistic skills and it makes every sentence almost sound like a question
haha, everyone in the comment section is making themselves hear up-turns in their own heads, Priceless.
When you notice you are ending a sentence with an upturn in your voice what are ways you can effectively change that habit?
I feel like upturns have more to do with someone's accent, but it's annoying, so I agree it's good to change it.
The presenter does the upturn quite a lot
For those of you who might be in doubt, here are the places where Ramit does the exact same thing:
- 2:40
- 2:47
- 2:50
- 2:57 -> 2:59
- 3:15
- 4:04 -> 4:06
- 4:25
The upturns created a feeling as if he was speaking in a very long run on sentence. I have heard this as characteristic of Indian English accents. Often when people speak like this, the native speaker interacting with them doesn't know when to enter the conversation because the upturn is paired with a tone that feels as if the voice is trailing off and he hasn't defiantly finished the sentence.
For instance, if we look at how this is punctuated:
Today I went to the store..... I bought milk.... I came home.....
Today I went to the store. I bought milk. I came home.
The upturn creates a feeling in the listener as if the speaker is not confident and questioning himself or herself, as well.
Which one of two sentences, has an upturn? Above or below one?
Rajnish Singh the above one,
The "counselor" himself has this "up-tone" and doesn't realize it.
Thought same too
2:40 Hey, you're kind of doing it too.
TheSamuraiApocalypse Lol he is just demo-ing what he did wrong :D
TheSamuraiApocalypse
That was to show him as an example
holy shit this guy on the phones doing that on purpose right?!?!FUCK
Absolutely
I'm curious. Is there a different expectation of genders? For instance, you stated in the video "especially for men" about the upturn. If a woman does not upturn the end of her sentence, can that actually hurt a female?
I noticed in your example during the phone conversation you often had an upturn in your voice as you were speaking about the callers upturn. Does this mean you can use an upturn just not at the end of every sentence?
There is a place for them such as asking questions, but they should nnot be used for every line
It was because he was offering unsolicited advice. (The caller called for one reason, and he offered advice on a different topic). He used the upturn so that he didn't come off cocky or abrasive and put the caller in a defensive mode.
Yes, he used it in the context of teaching, and seeking feedback. But in the context of giving information, it sounds weak, as if you are constantly seeking validation
I've (before looking for this video) found a lot of youtubers EXCLUSIVELY end on pitch down... IT'S EXTREMELY UNCANNY VALLEY sounding. Like something is wholly wrong with that person's speech pattern. It makes my stomach turn =S Like talking to a robot... Please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Mix them! Use them appropriately. Genuinely excited? Pitch up. Commanding? Pitch down. Etc.
You were doing it alot actually, you shouldn't be the one telling people to fix that.
I noticed that, too, and it seemed kind of funny to me. However, good advice is still good advice, even if the advisor fails to follow it himself.
p0rt3r
He actually wasn't ending his sentences with the upturn. He placed it more in the middle. I think there's a good reason that people make a habit of this, in that it can be effective. It just needs to be used sparingly, and consciously.
Austin Goyne ooh I noticed he did it in the middle but not at the end, in the middle he was trying to see if the person he was giving feedback to was agreeing with his feedback so as not to offend or to get the guy think because he was saying it like a question and at the end he speaks without it. This is totally fine. It's the person going on a job interview that shouldn't do it at all. Because what's the point of being unsure about all the experiences you have in a job interview it's your experience so one doesn't need confirmation from the interviewers to validate it.
It’s becoming more common these days it sounds ignorant and it’s really frustrating when idiots do this !
Maybe we would all be better off if everyone made a conscious effort to stop reading too deeply into such trivial nonsense and actually judged others on the substance of their interview answers.
Let's do both -- improve our communication skills and look deeper within each other. Thanks for watching.
Considering "communication skills" is just a euphemism for the trivial nonsense in question, that seems rather inefficient. If we stop focusing on the trivial nonsense, then there is no need to improve our abilities to perform it.
No, it's not. It's a very common belief that communication skills like "small talk" are wastes of time, shallow, and meaningless -- usually held by people who lack these skills. In truth, small talk is a critical skill that bonds people together. I'd encourage you to build these skills (you can start with this free video: th-cam.com/video/1eOKwU0LLTE/w-d-xo.html). Interestingly, the more advanced you get, the more your communication skills matter.
I think you're missing my point, which is that our belief in small talk as an important trait in a potential business partner is what makes small talk a valuable skill. In other words, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy (one that you have a vested interest in perpetuating). In reality, however, no meaningful contribution has ever been made to the well-being of humanity by a coordinated effort to lower our voices at the end of our sentences. In fact, most people who have made meaningful advances in our technologies have been notoriously anti-social. Simply put, a culture that is overreliant on social norms and psychological shortcuts to assess the worth of an individual will underutilize its human capital.
As for your not so subtle jab. Naturally extroverted, boisterous, Irishman here, who is always the life of the party--I'm fantastic at small talk. So, thanks for the offer, but I'll just stick to my fancy degree to grease the hinges of those tough to open doors (just like you ;))
Tom Cotter sorry to break it to you mate but you’re a human being, we naturally judge one another in numerous ways. Get used to it
If you, as a manager, gave me feedback on something so minuscule while also having mentioned killing themselves as a point of emphasis, you've immediately lost all professional credibility. This is completely disregarding the fact that I'm immediately turned off by the corporate culture and simultaneously aware of a micromanagement style of a manager in the company I'm interviewing for. I really hope this is not a real world situation but just a video pointing out things to be slightly aware of.
You won't receive feedback. You wouldn't get the job. Simple as.
Rav Barring It would be the best win I've ever had to not work for someone like that.
This is to make you more likable and confident. The manager will hire you base on your experiences and what you have done but subconsciously he wouldn't have a good impression of you due to the way you talk. He might give the job to someone with a bit less experienced but displayed better communication skills.
Yes it is extremely annoYING.
but that's how that kardashians talk so it must be the right way cuz they are millionairez.
As ramit was explaining he was doing the same thing. Hypocrite
No he wasn't. His tone was upward in one instance and it was to indicate "am i using the correct term by using "exposure".
certainly he does, are you his agent ?
This is a trend I observe with increasing frequency, particularly in American English speakers. I find it extremely annoying. I associate this with a lower education. Even though this may actually not the case, it is my perception and perception matters.