Interview with a quadriplegic about life with a caregiver

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 73

  • @FairyBoots
    @FairyBoots ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Yay Margaret is back! Very real and raw, she is brilliant explaining all the care needs and boundaries xx

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah she's a wealth of knowledge!

  • @tomstanziola1982
    @tomstanziola1982 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Margaret, I think you are one HELL of a beautiful and gutsy and amazing lady!! May the Lord bless you and protect you in all you do!! 🥰❤️🌹

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes!!!!! She's such an amazing person and role model!

  • @patrickcooper6074
    @patrickcooper6074 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for the insight into another aspect of your lives.

  • @justcallmesuzzie
    @justcallmesuzzie ปีที่แล้ว +5

    They first thing I have to say about this is that I appreciate that she says about her caregiver is, "she is not a maid." I was a caregiver for about 3 years and the families of the people I worked for treated me as a maid even though I had a Master's degree and left my field during COVID to come home and take care of a family member and took care of another person as well.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That sucks 😕. I think respect goes both ways in the care giver/client relationship and sometimes people with disabilities get a feeling of entitlement that is not helpful.

    • @alexstokowsky6360
      @alexstokowsky6360 ปีที่แล้ว

      My spouse is like this. I do some very gross things to help him. It is very hard on my hands and wrists to turn him, since I have rheumatic arthritis and he is 350 pounds, but I do it because it has to be done. All this for free. Despite all I do for him, he nitpicks over small things, and is generally demanding and unappreciative):

  • @lindsaydutton6093
    @lindsaydutton6093 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hi, I use the term ‘PA’s ( Personal Assistants) rather than Caregivers, because I’m responsible for caring for myself , but they assist me. Thank you for your videos ; it’s really interesting to see how other people handle these issues. 😊

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That's an interesting distinction between the two terms!

  • @jhors7777
    @jhors7777 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great to hear from you both and your story. Thank you for posting this helpful video.

  • @endtimeawakening5557
    @endtimeawakening5557 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Brittany,
    You and Margaret are always so helpful with the topics that you cover. I hope all is well with both of you, with prayers and blessings! ❤🙏❤️

  • @marylightfoot4817
    @marylightfoot4817 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Haven't needed a caregiver yet but down the line...unsure of trusting a stranger is scary for me. Lived alone all my adult life.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah it's a hard adjustment to make mentally I think.

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Trust me it will give you dignity and freedom. I have all the privacy I want. I set those expectations in advance and course correct as we go.

  • @charles_wipman
    @charles_wipman ปีที่แล้ว

    Very interesting conversation.

  • @SharonNolfi
    @SharonNolfi ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great interview! Does the Canadian government help pay for caregivers? In the U.S., there's very little financial support available.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      In Alberta where we live there is government support foe paying for caregivers but it's not a lot. Most people have to pay out of pocket to top up what the government provides in order pay a decent wage

  • @toddz8579
    @toddz8579 ปีที่แล้ว

    Kudos to Margaret for sharing just how it is in her everyday life; it highlighted the many things we take for granted. I did notice something curious in the video - Brittany kept tightening and relaxing her grip on her mug. Is this a strength building exercise?

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      lol I'm just cold and usethe mug to warm up, but it gets too hot to hold no stop

    • @toddz8579
      @toddz8579 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmpoweredPara

  • @westiepower2020
    @westiepower2020 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi Margaret, Hi Brittney! Yes, all of our skin becomes thinner as we get older, even for us A-B. Bruises show more, they take longer to heal, so I’m very happy to hear you take more care of your skin, especially as you age (lol, hard to think of that at your young age) Interesting to find out that PCA’s differ so much as to when they are with their clients. How difficult is it to find a good PCA? Are most people able to keep the PCA for a long time?

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      I think Margaret's schedule allows her to keep PCA's longer. I've heard many complaints that full time care is harder to find and harder to keep.

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว

      I think I am the exception to the reality. I hear more often that people have a lot of caregiver turnover than I do that they have long term employees.

  • @2p2walk
    @2p2walk ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've had a full time live in caregiver since 2007 and hired her other sister in 2008. so I've had both and that has worked till they'll decide they they wanna retire.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      So nice to have around the clock care! I was just talking to a friend who always has to be home at a certain time because her care only works until a certain time in the evening.

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว

      It is great to have long term caregivers. It normalizes life.

    • @2p2walk
      @2p2walk ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmpoweredPara 100%

  • @DRUMMER-j-u2x
    @DRUMMER-j-u2x ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I would recommend that you request a criminal record check before you hire a caregiver. I thought I knew the person well enough to skip this precaution and a few months after hiring the person I discovered she was steeling money and small things. I had to fire the person, needless to say. However, this could have all been avoided since it was later discovered that she did have a criminal record. So, my advice would be that no matter how well you think you know a person and no matter how nice and caring they seem to be, always, always, require a criminal record check. Hind sight is 20/20 and lessons are learned. Please, learn from mine.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yeah that's good advice!!

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I check both references and get a current crim check. Anything older than 6 months is stale!

    • @DRUMMER-j-u2x
      @DRUMMER-j-u2x ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kwadgirl Correct.

  • @tomstanziola1982
    @tomstanziola1982 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Brittany, I'm not in a wheelchair, but I have a few friends who are. I'm in awe of you, Brittany!! You're a beautiful and amazing and courageous woman!! Lots of love from Pennsylvania, USA!! 🥰❤️🌹 P.S. I pray that the firefighters are getting the wildfires under control! 🙏✝️❤️

    • @2p2walk
      @2p2walk ปีที่แล้ว

      How does she make you see her as amazing and or courageous?

    • @tomstanziola1982
      @tomstanziola1982 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@2p2walk Because at a place that I worked once, we had a group of people come in to teach us about physical challenges. Every one of them had one, and we each had time to spend one-on-one with them. We also participated in various exercises to give us a very slight idea of what it felt like to be blind, deaf, doing ordinary tasks with hands afflicted with RA, and the challenges of being in a wheelchair. That was the hardest one for me, because my upper-arm strength was crap at the time. I had to spend a half hour trying to navigate that chair in ordinary, household surroundings. Nothing special. Just things that paralyzed people deal with on a daily basis. It was the MOST PAINFUL, and STRESSFUL thing I ever had to do, and I made a promise to the Lord that day that I would NEVER take for granted what these people have to do EVERY DAY to live their lives. That is why I have so much love and respect for Brittany and all other people in her situation.

    • @patrickcooper6074
      @patrickcooper6074 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Great response to what sounded, to me, like a "snarky" question .

    • @tomstanziola1982
      @tomstanziola1982 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@patrickcooper6074 Thank you very much! It was from my heart!! ❤️ The question sounded a little snarky to me, too.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think the amazing person in this video is Margaret! I was just there to soak up her wisdom!

  • @jazysmama3376
    @jazysmama3376 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    In CA, there is a statewide program that helps pay for caregivers, called IHSS -In Home Support Services. I, unfortunately didn’t qualify and have to pay for that myself which gets expensive. Does Canada have something similar. Otherwise, when you need the help of someone else, it becomes costly, especially for skilled care. Thanks for the video!

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We do have a program that helps pay:) It's not the full amount though, but better than nothing!

    • @karenshine2925
      @karenshine2925 ปีที่แล้ว

      In Australia we get all ours paid for.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      @karenshine2925 that's awesome:)

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว

      Currently Alberta Health Services funds at the bottom of the pay grid. You can recruit caregivers at this rate, but not the best ones and there isn’t room for increasing wages with inflation. AHS does give periodic increases, but again they usually lag behind inflation.

  • @karenshine2925
    @karenshine2925 ปีที่แล้ว

    I find this fascinating that you have one one and have had so few in your lifetime. I currently have 7 different people a week. We have a hugely casualised employment market with people doing a few hours here and then for all different clients. I’d love to be able to have just 2-3 good ones covering all the work so they learn how I like things. Also the constant recruitment is draining when the average person lasts. 6-9 months.
    What do you do when they have their holidays or they call in sick? Do you have a plan B? This is why I have so many workers.
    I’m Australia they are called support workers.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah I was blown away at how long Margaret has managed to keep her care workers!

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว

      I have one good casual person and I try to plan a trip with them when my gal is gone. I also have a husband to fall back on and have used agency care in a pinch.

  • @cherylvl1036
    @cherylvl1036 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m not in a wheelchair (I use a mobility scooter) but I found seamless underwear at The Gap. Not sure if cotton underwear is important but they are not cotton, only a cotton gusset. They are super comfortable.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thanks! I'll have a look!

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว

      I do love my knix undies with no seams. I also like that they slip around and my clothes don’t catch on them, bunching up. I wish they made a true boyshort, though. Their boyshort is more of a classic brief.

  • @IrishGal690
    @IrishGal690 ปีที่แล้ว

    In Ontario they are called PSW, I moved to Calgary and said it many times and ppl were baffled lol.. they call them "Care'ers" PSW=Personal Support Worker

  • @Jaggededge112
    @Jaggededge112 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello. I finally ordered my new wheelchair, a full two inches smaller than my current one and I got a few different features on my new one. It was my birthday today but was so lonely because I miss my best friend. She would’ve come down and taken me out but she’s no longer with us so that can never happen again. I’m still having trouble getting over her unexpected death.

    • @patrickcooper6074
      @patrickcooper6074 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Happy Birthday to another June baby. Mine is on Friday. I understand how lonely it can be, especially on a birthday, when you are by yourself.

    • @Jaggededge112
      @Jaggededge112 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@patrickcooper6074 thank you. Happy birthday to you. I hope your birthday is fabulous!!!

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm sorry today was a sad day. I bet you have so many great memories of your friend that involve your birthday. Happy Birthday nonetheless and I hope you celebrate in a way that would make your friend proud!

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Happy early birthday to you too @patrickcooper6074!

  • @CarbonFiberSwan
    @CarbonFiberSwan ปีที่แล้ว

    What would be your (or Margaret’s) counsel on becoming a caretaker for a long time friend? I’ve got a friend who has been a quadriplegic for 9 years. I will be moving in with him soon to be his caretaker. I have never done anything like it before and I’m a bit nervous about how it will affect our friendship, and whether I am capable of handling the day to day things that it will require of me.

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm not sure I'm the right person to weigh in on this but I think as long g as you guys go into the situation with an agreement to be open and honest and not judge one another if it doesn't work out, then I think it should be fine. Hard not to get some tangled up feelings though when you are friends and now employee/employer.

  • @grant4176
    @grant4176 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi Ladies!! Did someone say thong? 😛 Butt Floss? 😂

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah we sure did lol. I'm not a fan of butt floss, but I guess it comes in handy for pressure sore prevention lol.

    • @grant4176
      @grant4176 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmpoweredPara Yeah..always look on the bright side! No pressure sores but your bumhole is severed in half!! 😂😂😂😂

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Literally only when I’ve got a little irritated spot that comes and goes for me. Otherwise it’s a bacterial super highway

  • @1013tenthirteen
    @1013tenthirteen ปีที่แล้ว

    I would love to meet Margarets husband and caregiver!

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'll ask her but her husband is pretty shy so I think he's not a camera guy lol.

    • @kwadgirl
      @kwadgirl ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe the caregiver though!

  • @westiepower2020
    @westiepower2020 ปีที่แล้ว

    All’s right with the world again - it’s Tuesday!

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol yeah better late than never!

  • @johnvelas70
    @johnvelas70 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your laugh for the day: the little girl who is now a paraplegic decided to approach a boy she likes.
    The 1st thing he asked was if the person next to her was her Nurse or sister "Because she's kind of hot".

    • @EmpoweredPara
      @EmpoweredPara  ปีที่แล้ว

      Not sure if that's funny or annoying lol

    • @westiepower2020
      @westiepower2020 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EmpoweredParaI think it is annoying