A ENFJ is not gonna want to invest in someone that doesn't wanna invest in them. Even if they think you are the most amazing person in the world. It just seen impractical to them. That's so true 😊
Totally, if someone tells me that they aren't interested in me, then they are not on my list of considerations no matter who they are or what they offer. I already have so many to consider why waste my energy. If said human is toxic then the door slam will hit them hard!
This is good advice...solid observations. As an INFP, all I can say is that the part about INFPs not communicating enough because we want to "give other people their space" and be non-intrusive/pushy is painfully relatable. I have been in more almost-relationships than I can count because there was a spark and something seemed to be happening but then it's like I failed to take action or something and the other person just got impatient and moved on before I even had the time to process what was happening. Like, I am still going over in my mind how I might communicate interest, worrying that I might be being disrespectful by not giving them enough space or by hinting at romantic interest, wondering whether the other person really is interested despite the (to everybody else) obvious signs, and pondering all the possible moral dilemmas that relationships pose or might pose. And while I am in my head going over all these things and getting ready to make a move, the other person has moved on and is like three months over me. LOL. The more I watch these videos about type, I feel like I just want to like apologize to the world on behalf of INFP 'slowness'...we are just trying to be respectful! :P
If they move on they move on. As an Infp we really need someone patient and understanding. We are better off rather than getting more invested in a relationship that won't work out in the end. ENFJs can move on from heartbreaks a lot quicker than INFPs.
@@SS-bu8ez Good point... I guess the reason why we are slow is because once we say "yes" to something, it's a lifetime commitment for us. When it comes to dating I feel like other people date (go to dinners, movies, actually have sex) to find out if they like the person and if they want to stay with that person. For me, I first have to figure out if I want to stay with that person and then I can start dating. Because if I do any of the above (dinner, movie, sex), I feel like I just basically put a ring on somebody's finger. For me, a kiss on the cheek = ring on finger. Calling somebody up and asking to take them for dinner = basically the same as getting on one knee, lol.
@@zmajchik That's how it should be. We are not users like other people, they use someone and if they don't like them then they leave and find someone else. ENFJs are so flirty. Will they ever be satisfied that they found the one? Those with chameleon like personalities who are always changing their colours will never be satisfied with the same old.
My fiancé is an ENFJ and I’m an INFP. We have been together for years and he’s my best friend and the love of my life. I don’t have him on a pedestal, honestly it’s been VERY tough sometimes for both of us. We got through it though and we’re both so happy now. We never even argue, and talked about it once like “is it a bad thing that we don’t argue, or are we just old?!” Haha. Depending on the state of the world we plan on getting married and starting a family in the next year or two. We have a black lab named Ollie. He inspired me to go back to school after getting his degree in marketing and I graduated. We were both working full time while in school and still found time for one another and our friends. We work on creative projects together sometimes. We’ve started cooking at home for each other, we also meditate and practice yoga. I garden but he’s afraid of spiders 😆. He has a bunch of friends and I have a few close ones. He isn’t “too much” I actually adore his endless energy and his capacity for caring. Sometimes I do have to remind him to take a moment or two for himself because he’s giving too much and I can see he’s spread too thin. He worries too much about work and it pains me to see him anxious so I am always there for him trying to help him find ways to relax. I sometimes get worn thin when I have to socialize too much and he gives me space to rest at those times. After so long he intuitively knows when I need space and I know when he needs affection. We talk about everything ALL the time though... no matter what our energy levels. I realized a long time ago that he needs that level of interaction, and it’s good for me to communicate more effectively. In fact, we communicate so well and so frequently we recently ordered this quarantine date night box to support some local businesses and it came with conversation cards. We were cracking up because we had already talked through every single question in the game on our own (even the question asking our favorite Disney channel movies from the 90s, our favorite traditions together and our favorite smells). Perhaps it’s because I’m a female INFP and women are naturally better at communicating so it has been less of a problem for us than if our genders were reversed. Just something to think about. My ex was a male INFP and he was the most difficult, secretive, unmotivated human on the planet. (Also the least trustworthy in my experience). It had more to do with his negative life experiences I think, than his personality, however, male INFPs are more rare than female INFPs and often I think they have more issues adjusting because of this. They usually have more female friends because guys just don’t know how to handle a deeply emotional and artistic guy who doesn’t give a shit about fitting in with them. Girl INFPs tend to just be a little quirky and funny and often flakey but communicate better and possibly our relationship worked more easily, I don’t know for sure(?) Don’t ever think you are “too much.” ENFJs are wonderful and magical human unicorns. They may be too much for people who don’t have the capacity for understanding their intense emotions or who are too selfish to give back even a fraction of everything wonderful they bring to the people around them. They’re clumsy and loud, and usually late to everything... but they have the capacity to bring even the most misunderstood , shy, and mistrustful people out of their shell and into their arms. They’re so great with people it’s impossible not to notice them, and that’s okay. No, they aren’t perfect, but they’re so damn lovable and they deserve every bit of the care and love they give to the world. 🥰
Aww I am so happy to hear that this relationship pairing is working for you! I agree, female INFP + male ENFJ might work a bit better.. because while female INFPs may be more motivated to communicate their emotions and feel less repressed, ENFJ men also tend to feel like they should tone themselves down emotionally.
Wow the point about INFP males having it a bit harder really seems true, as society's old-fashioned gender roles discourage men from caring "too much"/being soft. It is pretty sad in that way... but hopefully as our society changes, INFP males will have a better place to express themselves.
As an INFP guy and having more female friends, that is sooo true. It has been _extremely_ difficult for me to justify to my INFJ partner why I need all those female friends. She considers it me being emotionally unfaithful, yet I have always been loyal to her. I've had to cut down on my friends and it has been very straining not having an outlet to discuss things and issues my spouse is either uninterested in or that relate to our relationship and my own flaws. For those I''d prefer third party opinion rather than my partner's biased point of view. 😐
I think if you’re a mature INFP who is aware of their emotions and aware of others personality types you’ll be ok with ENFJ.. each person and relationship will be different, and let’s not forget our hearts and souls here people and this little thing called LOVE ❤️✨
A lot of ENFJs love that James Dean-type. We are attracted to the creative, mysterious independent smart rebel. I love the James Dean-INFP type. Honey, you can't speak for all ENFJs. I am starting to figure out who I am. I thank an INFP for that. Not all INFPs are the same either.
As an INFP I think one of the most important thing in any kind of relationship is honesty, with yourself and with the other person, I want the other person to be who they are and I want that person to know that I'm going to listen to them and try to understand them, but I need that person to try to understand me and not to judge me without understand why I do things, because that really pisses me off and makes me think that that person doesn't want to understand me and makes me think they don't really care about me because they don't want to really know me But luckily I've learned to ask, so If something like this happens to me, I don't know how quickly I would ask what is happening but I would because in the end I just want to know the truth
I am an infp and have and enfj friend. I believe they are amazing, and I find their drive to be very inspiring and I quite often tell them this! I am also driven to create a change in the world, just not in an entrepreneurship way. But, I do have goals and direction, I just think it takes infps longer to find their true calling. I am aware that in most of my other friendships I have been the listener. My role in those friendships was not equal. However, with my enfj friend they give me space to communicate my feelings too. So I have committed myself to step out of my comfort zone because this friendship is reciprocal and that is not the type of friendship I am used to having , but I really appreciate it. I do my best to tell them how I feel when I feel it. I also ask them to do activities with me quite often, and I try to keep the relationship equal. I think this helps. I think that infp's are not always stuck in their own worlds, we really do seek out connection. Once we find it, I believe we can be very loyal and equal friends.
I as an enfj female appreciate and like infp:s a lot. My greatest, and perhaps only true, love during my 37 years here is an infp. My infp can be extremely passionate towards me, I have noticed though that at a certain point when we experience miscommunication or reach a point/clash where we both can grow and reach new heights in our relationship my infp tend to retract and detach. I take it as me being rejected. It is almost always I who have to reach out and express myself for the infp to do the same back. My infp is very good at telling me what he needs and what he can’t cope with - I am so grateful for that. I would like to be as good at expressing my needs and feelings as my infp. My sister who is also one of my closest friends is an infj. When it comes to both infp:s and infj:s I feel their empathetic, caring and sensitive nature, also I never get enough of their intellect and our conversations.
I'm an ENFJ and I absolutely love your videos! it's amazing how much I can relate to your experiences and the feelings that you share! just wanna say thank you so much for everything it's helped me understand myself better and given me alot of comfort to alot of things I've felt in my life 😭💓
As an INFP and 6w7, I really just idealize this loving and supportive relationship where I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not just to get acceptance with someone who makes me feel safe and I can enjoy life with. When I hear about ENFJ's I have to admit they kind of scare me! For me, it can be really hard to talk because my mind goes blank when I get put on the spot. If I speak softly, and take my time formulating what I'm trying to say then I can talk out anything but when I'm being rushed, or prejudiced without a fair trial of course I'm going to retreat. It's not my function to extrovert myself but I do it because I love connecting with people. Maybe other INFP's are similar in this way, I don't know 🙈
As an INFP, I'm just curious....How are ya'll finding partners? It's not like I am not trying, but I've never met anyone I could genuinely connect with in real life.
i’m an infp, i met my enfj on hinge actually! i had a rare moment of confidence and made a dating app profile and within 5 days i deleted it bc i met my enfj❤️ we’re getting married now hahah dating apps do work sometimes!
Hmm I like to use internet or to dress in a slightly strange way so I attract strange people ;P If you want you can join us in INFP Heart & Soul server (18+): discord.gg/xfP6rxUBae Should be easy to connect with them
I'm an ENFJ and I found my platonic INFP soul mate on a discord server dedicated to something we were both passionate about. To find us, I guess the best way to do so would be to go to am extroverted setting that is highly relevant to your passion! :)
In a world full of men, I instinctively find Enfjs. And when I set boundaries, they always cross it in a soft way though. And for me in the end it becomes the beginning of en end. As an infp I require alone time, which is very difficult for enfj to understand. Still, you guys are my all time favorites 💕💕💕💕 . Great video Meghan thank you
Can you suggest me what environment that makes it easier to find enfj man? 😂 I hardly find one. My environment where I'm living makes me surrounded by SJ and NT people
My ENFJ relationships have been incredible. Utterly eye-opening. And growth-oriented. And The most fun and closest relationship I have ever had. And an ENFJ councillor was the easiest relationship I have ever had with someone. We just understood each other, and we were really just friends sharing opinions and learning together. Was 10/10 I'm not certain that an ENFJ might be my best paring at this stage in my life, but everything that I know and understand at this point, seems to lean that way. It seems, once an ENFJ can actually understand me, they immediately have a level of respect and understanding of me. An ENFJ needs to take the time to understand the INFP. But two idealistic people, can be a handful. However, I am so introverted, it doesn't seem to matter. Thanks for all of your video's
You understand Fi/Ne so well! Thank you for such high-quality content. I found that getting my ex ENFJ to understand my introverted nature, wanting to be around/with me so much was difficult for her to fully understand, I think it came alongside the appreciation of it. But I think, in time, she realised how important that time was, for herself too. It was incredible to see. And learnt to respect me spending my time, with each other, doing my own thing, as she did hers. And I got to enjoy turning to her watching me in awe with googly eyes ahaha :3
Some really good observation of the relationship and how certain characteristics lead to frustrating conflict scenarios which is rarely talked. All I hear is how ENFJ and INFP are a match made in heaven.
meghannn i love your content so much and this topic in particular (INFP + ENFJ) is one i've been wanting to hear more about, but it's reallly hard to hear you with the wind in the back :(
Thank you for making this video! I'd love for you to do more INFP/ENFJ videos! As an INFP, I definitely hold a lot of space for others. Being around my ENFJ friend pushes me to be more outspoken. What do you say about the more demure ENFJs?
my opinion on this relationship is that it is a utopia which means that it can only last for so long because it is as if we are traveling to the place where the other has began and have met on the road in between and have a conversation about the other place and saperate from each other but cant stay together
Hey! an İNFP here and have been marrying ENFJ for 2 months now, i at first don't know what type my husband is, i also don't know İNFP somehow fits for ENFJ. After i had the opportunity to beg him do the test, i continue searching infp-enfj relationships lol Two months going and i feel like we can talk deep and wide feeling like we're best friends to each other but can be romantic at the same time🤣
As an INFP, I feel like the one constantly bringing up issues and communicating, always texting first and starting conversations over texts to which i get short replies with no extended conversation, and really doing all the work. It's not like he ignores me, but he doesn't like getting into conversations about nothing and everything with me. It's hard to get him to have conversations with me yet he shows me love but lots of "fishing for compliments" like "you don't love me!" jokingly to where I have to explain to him that I do, and if I ask him why he says that he gets offended. Any advice?
Can i suggest you both to check on the 5 love language? I see that the way you love him quite not well percieved by him, then he jokingly tell that you dont love him. I think you guys kinda have different love language, that makes him feels unloved when actually you love him. Both of you need to understand each other love language, in order to make each other felt understood and loved. Here, if you and ur loved one want to check your love languange. I hope this can help you a little bit 🤗 www.5lovelanguages.com
Thank you for this!!! :') I really have so many precious INFPs (and NFs in general) in my life! :') And I really want to strengthen my bond with them and understand them more! :') My heart hurt when you said ENFJs have so much trauma with people always wanting us to tone ourselves down and not to try too hard and not to care too much, even though they are part of who we are. It's like asking us not to be ourselves. :'( I honestly have trauma with that too. :'( There is that feeling that maybe I can't be truly loved and accepted for who I truly am because who I am is "too much" to take. >//< And I also really understand what you said that ENFJs will be happy if you tell them your needs, even if it's space and it means that we won't be able to talk to or be with the person we love as much as we want, but it will ultimately make us happy if it will make our loved one happy. So I also really appreciate it if they communicate their needs with me and how they work as a person so that I can understand them more. It's like sharing their soul with me and that they are willing to let me in their life because they tell me how they work as a person~ ;u; Also, what you said about having a lot of energy directed to a person just means that we like and love them so much and think that they're very amazing, and that we don't expect them to give the same amount in return, are very very very spot on!!! :')
There's of course the mean people who are just mean, or the people who are easily overwhelmed by enfjs energy, but there's a lot of people who care about you too. When people who care about you say "tone it down/don't care too much" they most likely mean "I know you're the one who usually loves harder, so you need to let people come to you. you need to learn to engage with people who want to make those same efforts back to you and let go of those who don't." When people who care about you say "don't try too hard" what we're probably saying is "I see you bleeding yourself dry for others and putting yourself last. You're harming yourself by not treating yourself as more important and I don't like that." just a possible alternative idea. People's words aren't always because they're tired of you. 🐛🌱
Hey! Thanks for this video. It made me realise, sorry for a bad word, fucking a lot in terms of my inerworkings and my past relationships with high Fi users and the problems I stumbled upon while being into these relationships :) Cheers and keep strong in these odd times! Love the wind sounds and passers by in the background! ENFJ
wow so much truth, but also what you said about being single and feeling the need to seek a deeper connection. I often get distracted just by putting effort into finding/being noticed by someone that I let my own personal projects fall behind. I always thought that if I was in a happy stable relationship, that I would be able to be more productive because I would have that fill
"Every almost relationship that I've gotten into with an INFP has not happened because I had no freakin' clue what was going on in the INFP's mind!" Sorry. That's pretty apparent, generally! But you do like us, you've said! Insightful stuff, Meghan!
i think alot of these problems you dealt with would stem from infps with underdeveloped funtions who are inherently flawed in a social sense. who might lack the necesarry life experience to handle the relationship dynamic
Meghan It would be great to have a similar video from fi user perspective although you talk about it a lot with Cristal it is such a struggle not only in intuitive types but in general fi vs fe, people should understand it because it literally saved my marriage. What I naturally do as Fe user which is expressing my emotion was seen as an attack from fi user till I understood that I separate person from their behaviour and it wasn't my intention to criticise a person just their behaviour but I noticed that Fi users don't see it that way. So it has been a long process to learn to express myself in a way that doesn't hurt Fi users' feelings and for Fi user to be more open and communicate more in the relationship. We have been married for 10 years now so it is possible, there is hope :) IT was so so hard, so much work was put into this relationship but we have learned a lot :) Thank you Meghan so much for doing this kind of videos. They are so needed. XX
This video touched my soul, I would love to know more please! I’m an infp in a connection with an enfj and the way he turned my life upside down, I’m still trying to figure out how to handle it. How would you recommend approaching a conversation about emotions? Is there anything that would make an enfj freak out or clam up? I’m still trying to get to a healthier place emotionally, what would have helped you connect with your infp? I feel like I don’t have much to offer, since as you said, enfj seem to have everything and feel flippant about the depth of the emotions that don’t have words. What do you truly want out of a partner in a relationship? Because I’m not witty or crazy fun, feel like a deep sea creature trying to play with dolphins Love you and your videos, thanks for taking the time to change the world for the better 💕
Everything you said in this video doesn't correlate with my ENFJ boyfriend, except for his energy levels. He was the one to start the relationship and really go out of his way to be with me, and now a month and a half in i'm putting in all of the effort. Is he bored of me? He takes hours to text back while I take 45 minutes at most. He always invites me over and doesn't want me to be bored yet he isn't caring of my needs and when I try to bring up a topic or issue he snaps at me and I end up apologizing and crying. I don't know if he's unhealthy or just going through something right now with quarantine.
I am sorry to hear that!! Sometimes male feelers, depending on how they were raised, have trouble dealing with their emotions.. it is extremely hard for an Fe dom to bottle things up though. He may just not be recognizing your Fi need and may have trouble giving space to your emotions or overtly validating them. Sometimes Fi can come off as whining to Fe, but still - you deserve to feel seen and loved for who you are!! I hope things work out for you
That's great work. . How about enfj + intp I found enfj and intp could work well if intp developed there inferior function according to me I really feel and understand enfj after I developed my emotions
Ok. As an INFP with a romantic connection of 26 years with and ENFJ I disagree with a lot of what was said. INFP do put a lot of effort into deep meaningful relationships. I also feel that ENFJ needs a lot of validation. But again, this assessment should take into consideration if the individuals are healthy or unhealthy. An unhealthy ENFJ is truly something else, all the kindness turns into resentment for example. And let's not begin on the unhealthy INFP self righteousness.
@@Wolflynx07 Are you sure you're an Enfj? Every Enfj I know who are with high Se users are miserable and their sex life non existent. Watch C S Joseph's videos. He explains it better. Se needs Si. Now if you were with Se inferior maybe it could work. Maybe!
CS Joseph is an egotistical twat who confuses MBTI with other personality explanations. I’m an isfp who has dated an ENFJ, ESFP, and an INFJ. I’m 42 and studied anthropology and psychology since I got out of the marines in my younger 20s. Now teach. I know what I’m talking about.
:D Well, there are some obvious ones (for me, as an ENFJ) like: - acting schools - social activism groups (where people want to make a change in the world from the bottom) - philosophy or/and sociology discussion groups/studies - things related to education (ENFJs just want to mentor someone xd) 4 "stereotypical" environment where You probably can meet one. Cheers and good luck! :) PS: I've noticed that quiet a few musicans are ENFJs also (in my field of interest which is mostly guitar stuff)
@@stiken4421 yeay thank you so much for your answer! I hope one day i could find one of them in the real life 😁 can I ask why you are consider acting school as one of the place to find ENFJ?
@@by_anti Being in front of people, in the moment and being able to make an impact on them through Your actions/performance looks alluring, in my opinion (!), to ENFJs. And it seems very natural field to meet INFPs as that type is one of the best at being actor/actress (Phoenix, Reeves for example are INFPs). PS: and three other "environments" came to my mind after some sleep: 1) dance schools (where You dance in pairs) 2) psychology related groups 3) gym stuff (I never was a fan of training at gym and prefer to train on my own, but idea of keeping Your self looking good is close to ENFJs - some prefer hobo style, like me but... well... it's a STYLE xD)
@@stiken4421 well the gym stuff is kinda plot twist, i never think of that hahaha😅 Aah and 'keeping yourself looking good' things.. i still don't understand it what driven some enfj to be trying so hard to looking good? And is that thing can make enfj to liking more a Sensing type instead Feeling type? Sorry i ask a lot of question 😂
@@by_anti sorry for being late, notification came to late :x ENFJs have strong extroverted sensing, it's our "third function/child function" or however one calls that. In my (!!!) observations it turns that ENFJs like to be some sort of "role model" and "looking good" stuff is related to this. Meghan pointed this in this video that for INFPs it may be odd and strange that ENFJs want to impress other. But combination of Extroverted Feeling (thus being social oriented) as top function and Extroverted Sensing as 3rd function can lead into a lot of care about appearance. Your second question about preference - You asking if ENFJs prefer SPs over NFPs? Who single individual likes or not is personal thing. I do not consider ENFJs as a type that wants to stick around only one, specific type. We want to mix our social circle and bring different people together :D
After watching this I'm finding that I might not be an infp because I try very hard in a relationship probably too hard to the point that my sister bought me a book on boundaries but I relate to the si but I feel like I want to communicate better but I need help and it would break my heart if an enfj left me because I wasn't so good at communicating because I want to change please understand.
You may want to look at underlying reasons. The MBTI test is not the be end or end of, it's a tool to gain more understanding but it's a partial illustration. Not a complete one. Steven, look into free materials online in regards to self-improvement and maybe obtain an animal if you are able to financially, emotionally and physically care for one. If not, approach a local charity if the idea appeals to you and ask about fostering opportunities.
(INFP) Socionics is heavy-handed in its final judgement on intertype relationships, almost forgetting that type is preference or tendency, not law. In reality, every pairing has countless examples of it working; I can find long-term INFP/ ENFJ married couples from FB groups for you, and even an INFP/ESTP. In reality, it depends on individual mindsets, maturity and age, life experience and circumstances, and what you want or need from your relationships. That being said, I have more than a little appreciation for socionics specifically for intertype relationship descriptions as matching my experiences to a greater or lesser extent, so it is worth pointing out the possible pitfalls mapped out there, in much the same way Meghan does from a different angle here.
Sorry about the wind guys, I will do an update on this video sometime next year probably
The wind speaks louder than words.
A ENFJ is not gonna want to invest in someone that doesn't wanna invest in them.
Even if they think you are the most amazing person in the world. It just seen impractical to them.
That's so true 😊
So true
Totally, if someone tells me that they aren't interested in me, then they are not on my list of considerations no matter who they are or what they offer. I already have so many to consider why waste my energy. If said human is toxic then the door slam will hit them hard!
Facts seems like I’m begging someone to like me and that makes me feel weak and desperate… I don’t like it 😂
This is good advice...solid observations. As an INFP, all I can say is that the part about INFPs not communicating enough because we want to "give other people their space" and be non-intrusive/pushy is painfully relatable. I have been in more almost-relationships than I can count because there was a spark and something seemed to be happening but then it's like I failed to take action or something and the other person just got impatient and moved on before I even had the time to process what was happening. Like, I am still going over in my mind how I might communicate interest, worrying that I might be being disrespectful by not giving them enough space or by hinting at romantic interest, wondering whether the other person really is interested despite the (to everybody else) obvious signs, and pondering all the possible moral dilemmas that relationships pose or might pose. And while I am in my head going over all these things and getting ready to make a move, the other person has moved on and is like three months over me. LOL. The more I watch these videos about type, I feel like I just want to like apologize to the world on behalf of INFP 'slowness'...we are just trying to be respectful! :P
zmajchik omg this is what happened with my crush but yeah
Highly relatable.
If they move on they move on. As an Infp we really need someone patient and understanding. We are better off rather than getting more invested in a relationship that won't work out in the end. ENFJs can move on from heartbreaks a lot quicker than INFPs.
@@SS-bu8ez Good point... I guess the reason why we are slow is because once we say "yes" to something, it's a lifetime commitment for us. When it comes to dating I feel like other people date (go to dinners, movies, actually have sex) to find out if they like the person and if they want to stay with that person. For me, I first have to figure out if I want to stay with that person and then I can start dating. Because if I do any of the above (dinner, movie, sex), I feel like I just basically put a ring on somebody's finger. For me, a kiss on the cheek = ring on finger. Calling somebody up and asking to take them for dinner = basically the same as getting on one knee, lol.
@@zmajchik That's how it should be. We are not users like other people, they use someone and if they don't like them then they leave and find someone else.
ENFJs are so flirty. Will they ever be satisfied that they found the one? Those with chameleon like personalities who are always changing their colours will never be satisfied with the same old.
My fiancé is an ENFJ and I’m an INFP. We have been together for years and he’s my best friend and the love of my life. I don’t have him on a pedestal, honestly it’s been VERY tough sometimes for both of us. We got through it though and we’re both so happy now. We never even argue, and talked about it once like “is it a bad thing that we don’t argue, or are we just old?!” Haha.
Depending on the state of the world we plan on getting married and starting a family in the next year or two. We have a black lab named Ollie. He inspired me to go back to school after getting his degree in marketing and I graduated. We were both working full time while in school and still found time for one another and our friends. We work on creative projects together sometimes. We’ve started cooking at home for each other, we also meditate and practice yoga. I garden but he’s afraid of spiders 😆. He has a bunch of friends and I have a few close ones.
He isn’t “too much” I actually adore his endless energy and his capacity for caring. Sometimes I do have to remind him to take a moment or two for himself because he’s giving too much and I can see he’s spread too thin. He worries too much about work and it pains me to see him anxious so I am always there for him trying to help him find ways to relax. I sometimes get worn thin when I have to socialize too much and he gives me space to rest at those times. After so long he intuitively knows when I need space and I know when he needs affection. We talk about everything ALL the time though... no matter what our energy levels. I realized a long time ago that he needs that level of interaction, and it’s good for me to communicate more effectively. In fact, we communicate so well and so frequently we recently ordered this quarantine date night box to support some local businesses and it came with conversation cards. We were cracking up because we had already talked through every single question in the game on our own (even the question asking our favorite Disney channel movies from the 90s, our favorite traditions together and our favorite smells).
Perhaps it’s because I’m a female INFP and women are naturally better at communicating so it has been less of a problem for us than if our genders were reversed. Just something to think about. My ex was a male INFP and he was the most difficult, secretive, unmotivated human on the planet. (Also the least trustworthy in my experience). It had more to do with his negative life experiences I think, than his personality, however, male INFPs are more rare than female INFPs and often I think they have more issues adjusting because of this. They usually have more female friends because guys just don’t know how to handle a deeply emotional and artistic guy who doesn’t give a shit about fitting in with them. Girl INFPs tend to just be a little quirky and funny and often flakey but communicate better and possibly our relationship worked more easily, I don’t know for sure(?)
Don’t ever think you are “too much.” ENFJs are wonderful and magical human unicorns. They may be too much for people who don’t have the capacity for understanding their intense emotions or who are too selfish to give back even a fraction of everything wonderful they bring to the people around them. They’re clumsy and loud, and usually late to everything... but they have the capacity to bring even the most misunderstood , shy, and mistrustful people out of their shell and into their arms. They’re so great with people it’s impossible not to notice them, and that’s okay. No, they aren’t perfect, but they’re so damn lovable and they deserve every bit of the care and love they give to the world. 🥰
Aww I am so happy to hear that this relationship pairing is working for you! I agree, female INFP + male ENFJ might work a bit better.. because while female INFPs may be more motivated to communicate their emotions and feel less repressed, ENFJ men also tend to feel like they should tone themselves down emotionally.
I loved the way you spoke about your relationship, that's so heartwarming. I'm wishing you all the luck and sending so much love!
Wow the point about INFP males having it a bit harder really seems true, as society's old-fashioned gender roles discourage men from caring "too much"/being soft. It is pretty sad in that way... but hopefully as our society changes, INFP males will have a better place to express themselves.
As an INFP guy and having more female friends, that is sooo true. It has been _extremely_ difficult for me to justify to my INFJ partner why I need all those female friends. She considers it me being emotionally unfaithful, yet I have always been loyal to her. I've had to cut down on my friends and it has been very straining not having an outlet to discuss things and issues my spouse is either uninterested in or that relate to our relationship and my own flaws. For those I''d prefer third party opinion rather than my partner's biased point of view. 😐
Publish this book of a comment up top.
I think if you’re a mature INFP who is aware of their emotions and aware of others personality types you’ll be ok with ENFJ.. each person and relationship will be different, and let’s not forget our hearts and souls here people and this little thing called LOVE ❤️✨
A lot of ENFJs love that James Dean-type. We are attracted to the creative, mysterious independent smart rebel. I love the James Dean-INFP type. Honey, you can't speak for all ENFJs. I am starting to figure out who I am. I thank an INFP for that. Not all INFPs are the same either.
As an INFP I think one of the most important thing in any kind of relationship is honesty, with yourself and with the other person, I want the other person to be who they are and I want that person to know that I'm going to listen to them and try to understand them, but I need that person to try to understand me and not to judge me without understand why I do things,
because that really pisses me off and makes me think that that person doesn't want to understand me and makes me think they don't really care about me because they don't want to really know me
But luckily I've learned to ask, so If something like this happens to me, I don't know how quickly I would ask what is happening but I would because in the end I just want to know the truth
Hey INTJ here, I just have to say you are doing a great job, really really good
I am an infp and have and enfj friend. I believe they are amazing, and I find their drive to be very inspiring and I quite often tell them this! I am also driven to create a change in the world, just not in an entrepreneurship way. But, I do have goals and direction, I just think it takes infps longer to find their true calling. I am aware that in most of my other friendships I have been the listener. My role in those friendships was not equal. However, with my enfj friend they give me space to communicate my feelings too. So I have committed myself to step out of my comfort zone because this friendship is reciprocal and that is not the type of friendship I am used to having , but I really appreciate it. I do my best to tell them how I feel when I feel it. I also ask them to do activities with me quite often, and I try to keep the relationship equal. I think this helps. I think that infp's are not always stuck in their own worlds, we really do seek out connection. Once we find it, I believe we can be very loyal and equal friends.
I as an enfj female appreciate and like infp:s a lot. My greatest, and perhaps only true, love during my 37 years here is an infp. My infp can be extremely passionate towards me, I have noticed though that at a certain point when we experience miscommunication or reach a point/clash where we both can grow and reach new heights in our relationship my infp tend to retract and detach. I take it as me being rejected. It is almost always I who have to reach out and express myself for the infp to do the same back. My infp is very good at telling me what he needs and what he can’t cope with - I am so grateful for that. I would like to be as good at expressing my needs and feelings as my infp. My sister who is also one of my closest friends is an infj. When it comes to both infp:s and infj:s I feel their empathetic, caring and sensitive nature, also I never get enough of their intellect and our conversations.
I'm an ENFJ and I absolutely love your videos! it's amazing how much I can relate to your experiences and the feelings that you share! just wanna say thank you so much for everything it's helped me understand myself better and given me alot of comfort to alot of things I've felt in my life 😭💓
Thank you!!!
As an INFP and 6w7, I really just idealize this loving and supportive relationship where I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not just to get acceptance with someone who makes me feel safe and I can enjoy life with. When I hear about ENFJ's I have to admit they kind of scare me! For me, it can be really hard to talk because my mind goes blank when I get put on the spot. If I speak softly, and take my time formulating what I'm trying to say then I can talk out anything but when I'm being rushed, or prejudiced without a fair trial of course I'm going to retreat. It's not my function to extrovert myself but I do it because I love connecting with people. Maybe other INFP's are similar in this way, I don't know 🙈
I wish there was more advice from infp 6w7 . I date one right now and i dont see alot of videos about it . Im enfj 9w8
As an INFP, I'm just curious....How are ya'll finding partners? It's not like I am not trying, but I've never met anyone I could genuinely connect with in real life.
i’m an infp, i met my enfj on hinge actually! i had a rare moment of confidence and made a dating app profile and within 5 days i deleted it bc i met my enfj❤️ we’re getting married now hahah dating apps do work sometimes!
Hmm I like to use internet or to dress in a slightly strange way so I attract strange people ;P
If you want you can join us in INFP Heart & Soul server (18+): discord.gg/xfP6rxUBae
Should be easy to connect with them
ENFJ here, I met my INFP in college and I approached him first since I wanted to get to know everyone but we connected on a whole other level.
Just gotta take chances and not try too little or too much
I'm an ENFJ and I found my platonic INFP soul mate on a discord server dedicated to something we were both passionate about. To find us, I guess the best way to do so would be to go to am extroverted setting that is highly relevant to your passion! :)
In a world full of men, I instinctively find Enfjs. And when I set boundaries, they always cross it in a soft way though. And for me in the end it becomes the beginning of en end. As an infp I require alone time, which is very difficult for enfj to understand. Still, you guys are my all time favorites 💕💕💕💕 . Great video Meghan thank you
Can you suggest me what environment that makes it easier to find enfj man? 😂
I hardly find one. My environment where I'm living makes me surrounded by SJ and NT people
@@by_anti Find yourself an Infj. Enfjs can be too controlling.
My ENFJ relationships have been incredible. Utterly eye-opening. And growth-oriented. And The most fun and closest relationship I have ever had.
And an ENFJ councillor was the easiest relationship I have ever had with someone. We just understood each other, and we were really just friends sharing opinions and learning together.
Was 10/10
I'm not certain that an ENFJ might be my best paring at this stage in my life, but everything that I know and understand at this point, seems to lean that way.
It seems, once an ENFJ can actually understand me, they immediately have a level of respect and understanding of me.
An ENFJ needs to take the time to understand the INFP.
But two idealistic people, can be a handful. However, I am so introverted, it doesn't seem to matter.
Thanks for all of your video's
You understand Fi/Ne so well! Thank you for such high-quality content.
I found that getting my ex ENFJ to understand my introverted nature, wanting to be around/with me so much was difficult for her to fully understand, I think it came alongside the appreciation of it. But I think, in time, she realised how important that time was, for herself too. It was incredible to see. And learnt to respect me spending my time, with each other, doing my own thing, as she did hers. And I got to enjoy turning to her watching me in awe with googly eyes ahaha :3
YOU JUST said it :D
You're amazing. Sorry not sorry.
Oh what did I say? Thanks!!
Some really good observation of the relationship and how certain characteristics lead to frustrating conflict scenarios which is rarely talked. All I hear is how ENFJ and INFP are a match made in heaven.
Thank you for cracking down on the ship between the ENFJ & INFP.
meghannn i love your content so much and this topic in particular (INFP + ENFJ) is one i've been wanting to hear more about, but it's reallly hard to hear you with the wind in the back :(
Ahh I am so sorry.. I may try this again. I just really wanted to go outside
The part where you said the ENFJ might project on the INFP as someone who will not amount to anything. Made me tear up :'( (INFP)
Isn't that what INFPs project onto themselves?
@@Thagomizer Plenty of us don't amount to anything, I suppose.
My ENFJ love of my life called me a loser
@@Irodmel :((
ExxJs can be very shallow and like superficialities. That said it's important to have a goal in life whatever that may be.
This is so crazily true. 🤯👍
I really needed this. A 16 year friendship with my ENFJ friend may have just ended, but it still helped somehow.
As an INFP this made me extremely sad
Nah. Enfjs will always be there unless you went for blood and made them do the same in return.
Thank you for making this video! I'd love for you to do more INFP/ENFJ videos! As an INFP, I definitely hold a lot of space for others. Being around my ENFJ friend pushes me to be more outspoken. What do you say about the more demure ENFJs?
my opinion on this relationship is that it is a utopia which means that it can only last for so long because it is as if we are traveling to the place where the other has began and have met on the road in between and have a conversation about the other place and saperate from each other but cant stay together
Omg yes
Except that everyone at some point comes full circle. Maybe you can get the timing right where one's regress is in sync with the other's progress.
I’m an INFJ in a 7 year relationship with an INFP. We’re practically meant to be together 😂
thank you sooooooooooo much Meghan, you`re amazing. Infp here, Dating enfj :)
Hope it works out beautifully. Love Meghan's content.
Hey! an İNFP here and have been marrying ENFJ for 2 months now, i at first don't know what type my husband is, i also don't know İNFP somehow fits for ENFJ. After i had the opportunity to beg him do the test, i continue searching infp-enfj relationships lol
Two months going and i feel like we can talk deep and wide feeling like we're best friends to each other but can be romantic at the same time🤣
Any chance you might re-record this out of the wind? Love your content.
I cri, struggling with this rn
Thank you so much for making this 💕
As an INFP, I feel like the one constantly bringing up issues and communicating, always texting first and starting conversations over texts to which i get short replies with no extended conversation, and really doing all the work. It's not like he ignores me, but he doesn't like getting into conversations about nothing and everything with me. It's hard to get him to have conversations with me yet he shows me love but lots of "fishing for compliments" like "you don't love me!" jokingly to where I have to explain to him that I do, and if I ask him why he says that he gets offended. Any advice?
Can i suggest you both to check on the 5 love language?
I see that the way you love him quite not well percieved by him, then he jokingly tell that you dont love him.
I think you guys kinda have different love language, that makes him feels unloved when actually you love him.
Both of you need to understand each other love language, in order to make each other felt understood and loved.
Here, if you and ur loved one want to check your love languange. I hope this can help you a little bit 🤗
www.5lovelanguages.com
He sounds like a red flag
Thank you! This was very insightful, and will probably help in my relationship with an INFP. Hope you have a great day Meghan!
Thank you for this!!! :') I really have so many precious INFPs (and NFs in general) in my life! :') And I really want to strengthen my bond with them and understand them more! :')
My heart hurt when you said ENFJs have so much trauma with people always wanting us to tone ourselves down and not to try too hard and not to care too much, even though they are part of who we are. It's like asking us not to be ourselves. :'( I honestly have trauma with that too. :'( There is that feeling that maybe I can't be truly loved and accepted for who I truly am because who I am is "too much" to take. >//< And I also really understand what you said that ENFJs will be happy if you tell them your needs, even if it's space and it means that we won't be able to talk to or be with the person we love as much as we want, but it will ultimately make us happy if it will make our loved one happy. So I also really appreciate it if they communicate their needs with me and how they work as a person so that I can understand them more. It's like sharing their soul with me and that they are willing to let me in their life because they tell me how they work as a person~ ;u; Also, what you said about having a lot of energy directed to a person just means that we like and love them so much and think that they're very amazing, and that we don't expect them to give the same amount in return, are very very very spot on!!! :')
There's of course the mean people who are just mean, or the people who are easily overwhelmed by enfjs energy, but there's a lot of people who care about you too. When people who care about you say "tone it down/don't care too much" they most likely mean "I know you're the one who usually loves harder, so you need to let people come to you. you need to learn to engage with people who want to make those same efforts back to you and let go of those who don't." When people who care about you say "don't try too hard" what we're probably saying is "I see you bleeding yourself dry for others and putting yourself last. You're harming yourself by not treating yourself as more important and I don't like that."
just a possible alternative idea. People's words aren't always because they're tired of you. 🐛🌱
My crush is an ENFJ!!
Hey! Thanks for this video. It made me realise, sorry for a bad word, fucking a lot in terms of my inerworkings and my past relationships with high Fi users and the problems I stumbled upon while being into these relationships :)
Cheers and keep strong in these odd times!
Love the wind sounds and passers by in the background!
ENFJ
INFP here. Really helpful. Love all the context you put into your thoughts
wow so much truth, but also what you said about being single and feeling the need to seek a deeper connection. I often get distracted just by putting effort into finding/being noticed by someone that I let my own personal projects fall behind. I always thought that if I was in a happy stable relationship, that I would be able to be more productive because I would have that fill
"Every almost relationship that I've gotten into with an INFP has not happened because I had no freakin' clue what was going on in the INFP's mind!" Sorry. That's pretty apparent, generally! But you do like us, you've said! Insightful stuff, Meghan!
Im an infp and my dads an enfj hes cool 😎 and inspiring but like in a funny messed up dad way
Also frick i want a dog
i think alot of these problems you dealt with would stem from infps with underdeveloped funtions who are inherently flawed in a social sense. who might lack the necesarry life experience to handle the relationship dynamic
Meghan It would be great to have a similar video from fi user perspective although you talk about it a lot with Cristal it is such a struggle not only in intuitive types but in general fi vs fe, people should understand it because it literally saved my marriage. What I naturally do as Fe user which is expressing my emotion was seen as an attack from fi user till I understood that I separate person from their behaviour and it wasn't my intention to criticise a person just their behaviour but I noticed that Fi users don't see it that way. So it has been a long process to learn to express myself in a way that doesn't hurt Fi users' feelings and for Fi user to be more open and communicate more in the relationship. We have been married for 10 years now so it is possible, there is hope :) IT was so so hard, so much work was put into this relationship but we have learned a lot :) Thank you Meghan so much for doing this kind of videos. They are so needed. XX
Good video, but please make them in a quiet atmosphere. The wind was a major thing that made it hard to hear you.
This video touched my soul, I would love to know more please! I’m an infp in a connection with an enfj and the way he turned my life upside down, I’m still trying to figure out how to handle it.
How would you recommend approaching a conversation about emotions? Is there anything that would make an enfj freak out or clam up?
I’m still trying to get to a healthier place emotionally, what would have helped you connect with your infp? I feel like I don’t have much to offer, since as you said, enfj seem to have everything and feel flippant about the depth of the emotions that don’t have words.
What do you truly want out of a partner in a relationship? Because I’m not witty or crazy fun, feel like a deep sea creature trying to play with dolphins
Love you and your videos, thanks for taking the time to change the world for the better 💕
Wise words!💜 -infp
OMG, incredibly useful video... Tnx
Charisma/independence
Greater good/personal values
INFP needs to invest for ENFJ
Everything you said in this video doesn't correlate with my ENFJ boyfriend, except for his energy levels. He was the one to start the relationship and really go out of his way to be with me, and now a month and a half in i'm putting in all of the effort. Is he bored of me? He takes hours to text back while I take 45 minutes at most. He always invites me over and doesn't want me to be bored yet he isn't caring of my needs and when I try to bring up a topic or issue he snaps at me and I end up apologizing and crying. I don't know if he's unhealthy or just going through something right now with quarantine.
I am sorry to hear that!! Sometimes male feelers, depending on how they were raised, have trouble dealing with their emotions.. it is extremely hard for an Fe dom to bottle things up though. He may just not be recognizing your Fi need and may have trouble giving space to your emotions or overtly validating them. Sometimes Fi can come off as whining to Fe, but still - you deserve to feel seen and loved for who you are!! I hope things work out for you
Why are you still with him? In my experience Enfj men can be very self centered.
@@SS-bu8ez Both genders can be self centered regardless of type.
That's great work. . How about enfj + intp I found enfj and intp could work well if intp developed there inferior function according to me I really feel and understand enfj after I developed my emotions
This is also a very important topic!! I’d be happy to go deeper into this
Ok. As an INFP with a romantic connection of 26 years with and ENFJ I disagree with a lot of what was said. INFP do put a lot of effort into deep meaningful relationships. I also feel that ENFJ needs a lot of validation. But again, this assessment should take into consideration if the individuals are healthy or unhealthy. An unhealthy ENFJ is truly something else, all the kindness turns into resentment for example. And let's not begin on the unhealthy INFP self righteousness.
I left the video after a few minutes due to the windy weather.
Megan haha I am in love with your channel cause I feel listening to my mind (ENFJ here) but... OMG please stop doing videos when it is windy hahahah
I went deaf
I really love the content but the location and wind makes this very hard to listen to.
I really want to hear this without the wind plzzz
Nature is not what Meghan can control. Let us just be thankful for the content that is delivered.
i preffer in a romantic relation an intp- ENFJ
Enfjs and ISFPs are a better match.
Guess you are ISFP :P
Se with Se no because of lack of sexual compatibility. Isfp is compatible with Esfj.
Bs. I’m very compatible with people high in Se.
@@Wolflynx07 Are you sure you're an Enfj? Every Enfj I know who are with high Se users are miserable and their sex life non existent. Watch C S Joseph's videos. He explains it better. Se needs Si. Now if you were with Se inferior maybe it could work. Maybe!
CS Joseph is an egotistical twat who confuses MBTI with other personality explanations.
I’m an isfp who has dated an ENFJ, ESFP, and an INFJ. I’m 42 and studied anthropology and psychology since I got out of the marines in my younger 20s. Now teach. I know what I’m talking about.
Can someone suggest me what kind of environment that makes it easier to find enfj man? 😂 because I hardly find one
:D
Well, there are some obvious ones (for me, as an ENFJ) like:
- acting schools
- social activism groups (where people want to make a change in the world from the bottom)
- philosophy or/and sociology discussion groups/studies
- things related to education (ENFJs just want to mentor someone xd)
4 "stereotypical" environment where You probably can meet one.
Cheers and good luck! :)
PS: I've noticed that quiet a few musicans are ENFJs also (in my field of interest which is mostly guitar stuff)
@@stiken4421 yeay thank you so much for your answer! I hope one day i could find one of them in the real life 😁 can I ask why you are consider acting school as one of the place to find ENFJ?
@@by_anti Being in front of people, in the moment and being able to make an impact on them through Your actions/performance looks alluring, in my opinion (!), to ENFJs.
And it seems very natural field to meet INFPs as that type is one of the best at being actor/actress (Phoenix, Reeves for example are INFPs).
PS: and three other "environments" came to my mind after some sleep: 1) dance schools (where You dance in pairs) 2) psychology related groups 3) gym stuff (I never was a fan of training at gym and prefer to train on my own, but idea of keeping Your self looking good is close to ENFJs - some prefer hobo style, like me but... well... it's a STYLE xD)
@@stiken4421 well the gym stuff is kinda plot twist, i never think of that hahaha😅
Aah and 'keeping yourself looking good' things.. i still don't understand it what driven some enfj to be trying so hard to looking good? And is that thing can make enfj to liking more a Sensing type instead Feeling type?
Sorry i ask a lot of question 😂
@@by_anti sorry for being late, notification came to late :x
ENFJs have strong extroverted sensing, it's our "third function/child function" or however one calls that. In my (!!!) observations it turns that ENFJs like to be some sort of "role model" and "looking good" stuff is related to this. Meghan pointed this in this video that for INFPs it may be odd and strange that ENFJs want to impress other. But combination of Extroverted Feeling (thus being social oriented) as top function and Extroverted Sensing as 3rd function can lead into a lot of care about appearance.
Your second question about preference - You asking if ENFJs prefer SPs over NFPs? Who single individual likes or not is personal thing. I do not consider ENFJs as a type that wants to stick around only one, specific type. We want to mix our social circle and bring different people together :D
The wind is so annoying. It should blow me.
Sowwy
enfj doesn't know themselves. infp needs to confidently communicate and puts other on pedestal. insecure around each other. we hold each others' key.
enfj will move on if doesn't know what infp wants.
enfj doesnt want to invest in who doesnt invest
infp doesnt fulfill potential and unsure how to change world
hard to read others' intentions
How do you make amends with an EnFJ? If you have offended them
I wanted to listen... but the sound quality, the wind in the mic, was too irritating for this INFP. Bummer.
the infp part is so adhd haha -infp
damn wind
7:40 :D
Infp from Kerala😐
After watching this I'm finding that I might not be an infp because I try very hard in a relationship probably too hard to the point that my sister bought me a book on boundaries but I relate to the si but I feel like I want to communicate better but I need help and it would break my heart if an enfj left me because I wasn't so good at communicating because I want to change please understand.
You may want to look at underlying reasons. The MBTI test is not the be end or end of, it's a tool to gain more understanding but it's a partial illustration. Not a complete one. Steven, look into free materials online in regards to self-improvement and maybe obtain an animal if you are able to financially, emotionally and physically care for one. If not, approach a local charity if the idea appeals to you and ask about fostering opportunities.
Jesus Christ my life
You should redo this video without all the wind in the background. Hard to follow what you’re saying
💯💯💯💯💯
Nice breeze, huh ?
According to Socionics this relationship could never work.
What?
@@renwannabe3237 What you want me to elaborate?
@@brocklytodd5317 yeah do elaborate. Then I'll check from different sources to see if it's really true. 🤔
More or less true
(INFP) Socionics is heavy-handed in its final judgement on intertype relationships, almost forgetting that type is preference or tendency, not law. In reality, every pairing has countless examples of it working; I can find long-term INFP/ ENFJ married couples from FB groups for you, and even an INFP/ESTP. In reality, it depends on individual mindsets, maturity and age, life experience and circumstances, and what you want or need from your relationships. That being said, I have more than a little appreciation for socionics specifically for intertype relationship descriptions as matching my experiences to a greater or lesser extent, so it is worth pointing out the possible pitfalls mapped out there, in much the same way Meghan does from a different angle here.
the goddam wind, please can you do another video hun without the nasty distraction, brain explodes
Wow there is so much to learn. 😮 I wonder if any INFP finds themselves magnetic. Interesting. What is the most sexy thing for an INFP?! 🫠🤭💗