Addiction
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- RAID Shadow Legends | Addiciton
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It takes balls to make a video like this.... Good job Ash.
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
I can relate to your struggles brother, as I too have an addictive personality that often makes things worse. As a result, I find myself without many friends and spending most of my time at home. It's not for lack of trying, but it feels like I'm stuck in a never-ending cycle. Originally from a military background, I have served and retired before moving to the mainland, which has left me far away from my family. I yearn to get back into my passion for role-playing and war gaming, but my depression and sense of loss from leaving the military have held me back. However, watching your video on addiction has given me some solace and comfort, knowing that I am not alone in my struggles. Thank you for sharing your story and bringing awareness to this issue. Keep the videos strong ASH!
Thank you for serving our country. I would encourage you to try helping other brave men and women who have served. Food for thought. I love our military and one of my biggest regrets is not serving. So I thank you for your sacrifice. God bless you and your family. Please know I mean no disrespect just trying to help. Take care
There's a lot of us out there, you're not alone, for what it's worth. At least we can RAID together.
Ash thank you for this. I was in a horrible car accident 19 years ago. I have my neck fused, my back fused, missing ribs, have 2 neuro stimulators to control muscle spasms and nerve pain. I have nerve damage down left arm and leg. I am blessed to be alive. I walk and can do everything you do, except I can't lift more then about 10 maybe 15 pounds. I am truly a walking spinal cord injury.
As a retired nurse, I refused to become addicted to pain meds. I know it would be so much easier. But I could never put my husband and kids through some of the things I saw as a nurse.
I found my pain relief in WOW doing PVP. I would play sometimes 18 Plus hours a day. I was ranked the number 10 mage on server at 1 time. I didn't realize my addiction to it untill my daughter had an event at school and I said "Sorry I can't, I have a raid" At the at minute I shut the computer off and never played it again.
I am lvl 100 in Raid, F2P and I play when I want to, it doesn't have a leash on me.
Addiction is hard to realize when you're in it, but feels so much better when you let it go
I guarantee this applies to a lot more than 5% of people. But only 5% of people are going to hear what you are saying. Appreciate these videos. Since I started watching you these videos have always been my favorite types of videos! I came for Raid and stayed for Ash. You are down to earth and your perspective on things is always insightful even if you are saying basic stuff like "addiction is bad/tough". You are right though, even with just talking about these things that speaks to people who want to listen. I like getting the real you. The "I am an actual person too" you. I got some of the same addictive issues personally. It was investing (in the gambling way), then it was another phone game, then it was RAID. Thankfully at this point my addictions are a lot cheaper on the pocket but this is stuff I have struggled with too. Addiction is tough and it should not take seeing a bank statement, or looking in the mirror, or whatever it takes to realize that there may be a problem, but somehow it does. For me my addictions have backed me into a corner financially and they have forced me to break them but I understand for others it may not be that easy to overcome. I play raid but I do not hardly ever spend anymore. I dropped other games that encourage spending. I stopped going on robin hood everyday. Things like that have helped my specific addictions. However, the food one still gets me a lot. I am up in weight, then I am down in weight. I think that one gets a lot of people. Whatever the addiction is, the worse feeling is when you finally feed that addiction and you sit back and you realize that the addiction won that day, or your broke, or you are up 10 pounds, etc. That feeling is the worse feeling and it leads to an overall negative mindset surrounding normal things. Spending broke me financially a few times and dug me into a hole. Eating has made me hate the man in the mirror more times than I can count. It is crazy how I can be so excited to eat but then when I actually get done eating, the disgust in myself that can come with that. All these addictions do that to someone. Talking about these things are good. I wish I could say I have an underlying message or positive take but I do not really. What I can say is ask yourself does the path you are on lead you to the man or women you want to be when you dream about where you are going? If the answer is no, you gotta find the strength to make the change. Something that could work is maybe a healthier addiction (the gym/exercise, reading, walks, painting, anything else that may actually be more meditative and habilitative than destructive). The gym has been that for me on and off. Work has been that for me forever. For someone else it could be something else. A lot of the time it is not about stopping the things you are addicted to completely it is about creating a healthier relationship with that thing you might be addicted to. You do not always have to quit all at once, just manage and regulate what is too much and what is not (create a strict budget, follow a calorie goal, limit when you can drink and how much, etc.)...
IDK I am rambling as I tend to do but I really appreciate your perspective and I think these types of videos are the best videos that you make. AGAIN, I came for the raid and I stayed for the Ash! Thank you Ash!
Yea not reading all that🗣️
I’m u mean well about what ur saying but yea no;-;
Ash, please know your videos make an impact beyond the game. I visit your channel for the positivity first and foremost. I legit go out of my way to think of a comment to leave on every other video as a way of supporting the channel. I don't even know what I am talking about half the time. But it's important to me to support your channel in any way I can and here's why...
I've fought literal addiction before. This video resonates with me. Long story short, I've been in two awful car wrecks in my life. Neither of which was my fault. The latest one literally ruined my life as I know it. I didn't break bones or lose a limb. The injury was actually fairly small, but in one of the worst areas of your body to experience any sort of injury - my neck. I dealt with crippling pain in both situations, but this latest one was something else. I felt that addiction the first time around with the drugs. I was terrified to take them again. When I felt as though I was done this time, I quit them cold turkey (in a safe way) and walked away. I wasn't going to let them beat me again. My pain is still there and is immense. Almost impossible to deal with some days. It was monumentally worse before surgery and I had the darkest of thoughts. I still need pain relief, but I am terrified to revisit chemical treatment. I turned my addiction fight into other wins. I made a lifestyle change and stopped the food addiction which was also related to pain. Research dopamine detoxing...New research is looking into sugar as the og gateway substance. It's how we are initially introduced to large dopamine surges. It's important to understand the source of problem before attempting a solution. Anyway... fast forward to Raid. I do spend and I play religiously. But I do it for the same reason I come to this channel: I found positivity and joy in a community. I desperately need that on days when I am struggling. I quit so much other unnecessary spending on garbage that I have some play money. I choose to use it on Raid. I do have a strict budget. Is it a new addiction? Maybe. But it doesn't feel the same way. I thought it provided zero purpose until today. One of my clan mates is going through a terrible time. I poured my heart out to them in support. Maybe it helped in a big way? If it did, all that time and money spent is worth it. If I know I impacted them or any other person for the better, it's all worth it. I came for the game and stayed for the community. I choose to support a game that brings that community together. That said, I am super worried about the "so much to do to stay relevant it's a chore" opinion I am seeing more and more. I'd hate to lose access to the community for reasons stated.
Thanks for sharing :)
Hello and I am so sorry to hear about your accident. I posted my story above. We have a lot in common. With the accident. I don't know if you have ever heard of a Neuro stimulator. It has changed my life. Mine is Medtronic's. I wish you well, and stay strong. Our life is not an easy 1, but I believe in my heart it's to let others learn from us, and improve their lives. (It's what keeps us moving forward)
16 years clean from cocain, 20 months from weed, in 20 months I have had 5 drinks compared to a 6 pack or pint per night. In my early 20s I was drinking 2 5ths and 2 pints a day. I'm a much better me now days. Congratulations on your time clean. Yes it can be hard, but you got this man. Wish I had a way to connect with you better than TH-cam. Just in case you needed someone to talk with. I have been watching your content since the start of raid.
Well……..I wasn’t ready for this today…thank you sir. I can’t overstate how much a video like this means to some of us out here struggling. Not everyone has a family or a support system to turn to when things are tough. Some turn to drugs & alcohol, some to gambling, some to both and all. I’ve struggled for well over 10 years with addictions to a plethora of narcotics from pills and weed to alcohol and cocaine then to raid and working. Ive done a lot to work on myself but I know I’ve got much more to do. Your motivation is more appreciated to some than you will ever know Ash. You’re a good person regardless of what mistakes you’ve made in life. We appreciate you more than you know
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
One of the best things I started doing with Raid was not forcing myself to do my dailies ASAP after reset, and occasionally letting my energy fill up. It seems small, but being able to set the game aside and do something else, be it play another game, or spend time with friends and family, being able to set Raid down or miss a daily quest has made Raid that much less stressfull. It's allowed me to open up to other interests again, reconnect with people more, and honestly I enjoy the time I do spend with Raid more as a result.
Moderation is always the key. Raid is a Game, and it should be fun to play, not a chore you feel you need to do because you've invested in it (time, money, or both). Keep it real Ash, glad you're doing OK.
Proud of you ash! It takes alot to talk about addiction and what comes with it. It's hard having an addictive personality when it comes to many things in life. I was a drug addict for half of my life, been clean from hard drugs for almost 7 years now. But addiction changes form, I became a food addict and gained alot of weight. Got to a point where I didn't like what I seen in the mirror, and then became addicted to intermittent fasting and jogging, which then again I took to far and got way to lean and looked unhealthy. From there it turned into alcohol and Marijuana addiction, which almost ruined my relationship with my fiance, and now raid. I was f2p for the first year of raid but I find that it's creeping up on me again, spending a few hundred here or there. I try to limit and budget my spending now because I know what I will do for dopamine. It's a blessing in some regards (as I have started working out now and feel better than ever) but it can also be a curse. Just one day at a time, some days even just one minute at a time. You got this Ash, proud of you ❤ keep being you.
Ash I have followed you for a very long time. And to be honest. This has been your best video yet. I feel proud of you! Stay strong bud!
Agreed. So perfectly unexpected
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Good on you for recognizing it Ash, it isn't easy to admit when we've got a problem.
While I'm not sure if I have an addictive personality, I sure do have a tendency to spend on games, regardless of genre (be it cosmetics, un-needed DLCs, etc). Especially as I lack any other hobbies.
Raid is my online mobile game, and gacha game I play. I do spend more than I probably should, I easily could just buy more games, or save it, and I think it is important that we recognize that when we play games like this.
There will always be people who will tell you other wise, but so long as being a CC for Raid is something you enjoy doing, then keep doing it.
Thank you Ash, truly. Thank for taking the time to make this video and have this conversation. As others have said, they came for Raid but stayed for you. My first content creator that i watched for Raid was Hellhades, still really enjoy their content too. Then I found you shortly after. Partly your excitement in almost every video, partly the fun ideas you have for videos (nuke-off is my favorite of recent ideas!), but mostly your positivity. Even though you say it at the start of every video, I still enjoy hearing you send love and positive vibes our way, especially if we need it out here.
I know it's helped me at times when I've needed it, and I can't even imagine how many others it has also helped. We thank you for being you, Ash!
Babe wake up new philosophy with ash just dropped
Ash, just want to let you know as part of the 5%, I’m here with you. I know how difficult it can be but hearing you put into words the struggle I fight daily is very appreciated to know I’m not alone.
@@PatchesRNGkeep up the fight bud you got this 💪
Thanks for that
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
@@danielpounder8905 yeah I will say I had this revelation similar to ash about 18 months ago. And since had set myself a budget that really only affords me a forge pass it daily gem pack and I have been on top of myself since
Ok, first video that I actually like. I play Raid instead of going to the local casino. I've been addicted to gambling for 30 years and believe it or not, Raid helps me save money. I mostly play free to play, but I may spend $50-100 a month. I used to go to the casino 4X a week and spend $300-500 each time I went. So Raid is actually helping me build my bank acct back up. Ash, I get you on this one.
Thanks for tuning in ;)
Ash dude this almost had me in tears by the end of it. Its so freaky just how similar we all are as humans and especially as addicts. You may as well have been describing my experiences. Boxes of wheat thins, binge drinking on weekends, replacing one addiction with the next, etc, etc. if my wife didn’t monitor my expenditures; id probably be broke because of games like this. Anyway, thank you for making this video. You aren’t alone.
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
you have no idea how much better this made me feel about my situation. thank you
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Completely relatable.
I never thought of it as an "addictive personality" but whatever I do I go all in as well.
I started playing Raid almost a year ago as a f2p, and the dopamine I got from making constant progress in my account kept me hooked, each time I spent more time playing until it became an important part of my day to day life and my routine.
I took a break a couple of weeks ago, I'm not abandoning it for good but at this moment of my life I can't afford to spend so much time in a game and I know I can't settle for less.
Thanks for making this video.
It's quite rare to see someone sharing something quite personal in the public, it does take a lot of courage to be open about it.
Looking back at my life I've had some difficult times and addictions as well, mostly due to some family issues from childhood.
As I grow older I've found ways to cope and minimize those bad habits, one you suggested is finding more healthier habits.
Going out and exercise regularly does help, spending time with family also helps, watching TV/movies and gaming helps too, but one may argue it's just another form of addiction. Be that as it may, it's a milder form and more healthier compared to others.
For the majority of the people who watch your videos regularly, we all have one thing in common: we enjoy playing Raids Shadow Legends, and we also enjoy watching your videos for insights and strategies!! There's so much vibe and energy in your videos! Good job!!
You mentioned that you don't need it, but after hearing your story I still feel like giving you a pat in the back.
Take care bro!
Thanks for sharing ;)
I know it’s dorky, but this right here is why I appreciate Ash above all the other Raid content creators. Keeping it real and helping me remember I too struggle with an addictive personality. Bravo Ash! Thank you 🎉
Raid is a hell of a drug. I don't spend a lot of money on Raid, but I do spend way to much much time on this game. As a former alcoholic, I 100% know how easy it is to get consumed by my own consumption. I hope others who know they have a problem get a chance to see this video and maybe make a change, I know I will. Thank you for making this video, Ash.
Thank you so much Ash, this talks to me so much… I also binge drinked during my 20s, luckily my ex-girlfriend brought me out of it. I tend to get hardcore in everything I start until I get bored.. the issue with Gacha’s is that when I got bored, I moved to a new Gacha, and every new Gacha I start fresh and to start fresh like you said, I don’t want to spend hours and hours to start slow, I like starting with some good amount of cash, few hundred bucks in xx games and then play a while, totally addicted to it. Today I reduced it to 4 daily Gachas I need to play daily for the dailies, the bosses etc… I managed to go totally f2p in those for like 9-10 months but lost it again recently. I tend to suffer from depression and anxiety a lot…. It devours me and gachas give me that rush of dopamine to make me feel something a few seconds. Alcohol is a big temptation, but luckily I am also heavily addicted to working out and trying to be healthy so this counters the alcohol temptation most of the time and also my 2 year old son helps me tremendously. My psychiatrist will give me medication again starting next week to try to reduce the continuous mental pain. I also am what they somehow call « high potential », should mean I have a special brain and IQ and blabla which makes my mind think like roots of a tree, thinking of xx scenarios all the time creating anxiety etc. And like you described, I tend to rush into things hardcore. Like I started 3d printing, and went hard on it few months, reading all I could find on it, doing it 24/7, when I was younger it was video games, 12-16 hours a day during college. Recently it’s become piano, before that it was golf for a few months too. You’re the content creator I feel the most « real » to me. Thanks for talking, at this point I’m just rambling, don’t think anyone will be reading this whole thing. I need purpose. I started this month to invest again in stocks / ETFs every month… new obsession, last time paid quite well so we’ll see..
Best to you
Man these type of vids you do are my favourite, because you do what so many people find hard to do and that's talking about the hard stuff, reality, sharing yourself with us and just being real man.
I'm in a similar boat as you Ash, pass behaviours and all that. I disgustingly spent way to much last month on raid for myself.
So through google play store was able to find a setting for spending. Budget setting, so when I approach, hit or go over that amount I get a notification instantly and before hitting the finaly pay button and it works in-game on raid too.
Much credit to you Ash, I'm glad life is better for you and for your involvement in this community.
Much appreciation bro.
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Ironically I'm a 4+ year f2p account and I'm a heroin addict, not a lot of extra cash for mobile games...
Currently worried about my leg/groin and wondering if I'll lose a limb. Been injecting my groin for years and it's about the worst place to stick needles. Debating how bad it needs to be before I call an ambulance.
You're a smart guy and a good guy, seem very self aware and reflective, as well as driven and determined. You'll nail it I'm sure, I'd give anything to be trying to quit edibles intead of opiates, not saying it's easy, I've done it myself.
You stand out as a creator with your vulnerability and openess, I know a lot of people take comfort and inspiration from you because I do as well. Your kid is lucky to have you and he'll learn a lot from his dad.
Much love, you can smash it.
Man thank you ash, I found your channel about 5 months ago when I started raid shortly after my mother's passing. I desperately needed an escape from the grief I was going through as me and my mother were extremely close. I just want to say that it is videos like this one that have the biggest impact for me and I relate the most too as I have struggled with addiction in various forms throughout my entire life. I just want you to know that I truly appreciate these honest unfiltered videos more than anything and you are so much more than just a raid content cc... Your truly one of the good ones dude and it's So cool to see someone on here that not only gives back to the world but genuinely cares about those around you that are less fortunate and suffering. Stay awesome brother!!!'
Prayers and blessings for your mother, you, family and loved ones.
I was thinking about this subject not too long ago and I feel in a way I might be the same as you. I have an addictive personality, not dangerously or towards anything that would do me serious harm but to the little things, like social media, micro transactions, online shopping, shard openings. All things that give you that little boost until it’s all over and you need to fill that void again. This video took guts and I want to say thank you for sharing. It gives me that little bit of a spur to actually get a grip of my habits and start to try and be the best version of myself. Sending all the love and positive vibes your way man. We all care about you too!
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
I honestly haven't played in a while. I missed clicked on this video by accident. But just hearing positivity come through put a smile on my face. Thanks man! Keep at it.
Thanks for watching :)
Play is an integral part of human nature. It's where we learn about ourselves, other people, our world--in a safe environment, where mistakes not only aren't costly, but can actually be learning experiences. For example,those of us who played any kind of organized sports, at any age... We find out a lot about ourselves in how we compete, and what's important to us.
Like anything else, play can be abused; as no one less than Jame T. Kirk observed to Lt. Uhura, "Too much of anything, lieutenant, even love, isn't necessarily a good thing." (I believe he had just sat on a tribble on the bridge of the Enterprise.) As you said yourself, Ash (channeling the ancient Greeks, by the way), "Everything in moderation."
Another component of our play is that it is typically social; and as we know, we are social animals. If you played RAID: Shadow Legends alone on your computer--you didn't have a TH-cam Channel, didn't interact with a community--I think you wouldn't feel so driven or competitive (which are words I prefer to "addiction," which carries a specific medical meaning as well as a lot of cultural baggage).
I think it's actually this social component of play that is the heart of what Plarium and other game-developers are exploiting. Not the dopamine rush when you "beat the RNG," but the obligation you feel to a phantom community of gamers--in your Clan, guild, league, or whatever it may be called in a given gaming environment. You don't want to let your team--your gaming ""family"--down. Look at the attachments people are able to form through the web, not just in gaming but in chat communities (are you old enough to remember the boards on AOL?), and you'll realize that Plarium doesn't have to make leader boards in RAID; we do our utmost to support our virtual friends without ever even meeting them or even knowing their real names.
Obviously I don't know you in real life, but from what I've observed of you here and what you've told us of yourself, you are a passionate person who tends to take an all-or-nothing approach with most things in your life. The passion is a *good* thing, Ash. You are *living life*--and since this is the only one you're ever going to have, that's the right approach. But the pace at which you live doesn't have to be frenetic. Every moment doesn't have to be productive or filled with something. You can--and I would suggest, should--occasionally stop to smell the roses. (That's a actually a paraphrase of a memorable line from a 1956 book by golfer Walter Hagan, "The Walter Hagan Story.")
You are younger than me by quite a bit; well, it's getting to be that MOST people are now younger than me! (It was not always so, and you may find it odd that I don't think of myself differently than I did when I was in my early 20s.) I grew up in a time without computers and the Internet, when phones were just boxes attached to the wall in the kitchen. Although people back then spoke of the "pace of modern life," they had no idea. I feel badly for the people I see today who cannot seem to imagine their lives without their phones and social media; I'm here to tell you they have substituted a meaningless illusion of life for the real thing, and sadly, they may never even realize it.
I've always been impressed with your encyclopedic knowledge of RAID, which is testament to the time and effort you've dedicated to it. Some of what's good that you have in your life comes from your association with RAID, so you shouldn't fall into the trap of analyzing the "opportunity cost" of your RSL activities. Everything in life is a trade-off, and the problem is, we can never see our life on "Earth 2," where we made a different choice, to figure out what we may have gained or lost. As I say, this is all we've got, and it's our duty to ourselves and the people in our lives to do the best we can, every day, with what's in front of us that day.
So. RAID doesn't necessarily have to fall completely out of your life. Clearly you enjoy it, and we should have things we enjoy in our lives. But "in Soviet Russia, GAME plays YOU!" Don't let RAID run your schedule or encroach on your relationships. Life comes first, and games are just a way to relax at the end of the day. My advice, not just to you, but to all those playing RAID, is to play it at your own pace; play the parts of the game you enjoy, and don't worry about how other people play or how you compare to them. Let go of all the other stuff that makes you crazy.
I'm not a religious man, but there is a line from the Bible that sticks in my mind--partly because it's so horrific: "If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out." It's meaning for modern-day life, I think, is to rid ourselves of negative influences in our lives--even if they seem vitally important. If they are ruling your life, to the exclusion of all else, you are out of balance--and something must change. ("Balance" is the guiding principle of my own life, in fact.)
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for logging in!! ☺
Good luck to you sir.
Hi Ash. I am in recovery from Alcoholism 4 years sober so far. I have become a Peer Recovery Coach and work with other people suffering with addiction and helping to guide them into Recovery. I completely understand your struggle with addictive personality. Thank you for helping to reduce the stigma around addiction and the struggles it creates. Congratulations on being so self aware and working to improve yourself. One of my favorite sayings is "I didn't say it would be easy I said it would be worth it. " I also struggle with food and never got into any real hard drugs because I knew I would become addicted. and yes this game and the dopamine rush from spending and getting the instant gratification feels great in the moment but I had to quit playing Raid before because of overspending. I've found that I feel better when I set a goal for example, every $1000 I save I can spend $100 on Raid. I don't get as much instant gratification but I do get a lot more sense of accomplishment. Once again, thank you for being so open and honest. It's one of the reasons you are my favorite content creator.
Everything you've described about yourself really resonates with me. I have experienced many of the same issues and have struggled with them even to this day. I can say though, that in the past couple years I've done a lot of work on my mental health and that has helped tremendously. As a result of my history with impulsiveness, unnecessary risk taking, hyperfixation (on Clash and now Raid) and an inability to consider consequences in the moment (among other things) I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at 35 and have begun treatment. For my whole life I just thought I was a garbage human who just couldn't do what a "normal" person could. The realization that my struggles were a result of a neurodevelopmental disorder has been liberating and has allowed me to exercise more self-compassion which resulted in an overall better quality of life. I'm not suggesting that you also have ADHD, but if you or any of your viewers are struggling as I have, I would highly recommend exploring ADHD/ASD as a possibility. Thanks for your openness Ash, and keep up the great work!
Same boat just have a hard time finding a paddle. When I came back from the Gulf War I drank but it turned into all the time. Trying to wipe my mind of what I endured and what started off a pint a day turned into a 5th to liter a day for more than 20 yrs. Ending up in the hospital woke me up and now going on 7 years no alcohol.
I say I used to spend my money on alcohol and it’s not really that much and ends up 2-3k in the past 6 months. Geez where does it end, a very viscous circle. Thanks for the video bro. Oh hey hand me a paddle lol
Thanks for sharing :)
Man, your content is great bc of videos like these. Youre honest and transparent, and its super important to touch those issues that comes with playing. Sometimes i see myself choosing Raid over tasks, and have to rly struggle to just not spend time with my face glued to the screen. Its great to know others can relate to this
I’m with you brother , I wrote a comment a while ago telling you I was watching your vids in RCA Danvers rehab lol , it takes some sack to not only recognize but admit your addiction . One day at a time, great vid thank you👍👍
the journey to 1000 miles starts with the first step. take it one step at a time, one minute at a time, one day at a time
Thanks for tuning in :)
absolute legend mate talking about that stuff on a TH-cam vid, your vids are the good vibes our way our way :). you need some good energy and some good vibes your way mate, your videos entertain every one that watches you bro love the energy and vibes every up load your a great entertainer and a funny guy
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Ash I’ve been struggling with the same thing for a long time. It’s hurt myself and my family. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Hearing it from you means the world. You’ve inspired me to change my ways. I can’t thank you enough. My life will be better for it.
First, thank you for making this video. Thank you for sharing your experiences along the way up to this video. I to came to a similar realization with RAID although for me it was the amount of time I spend in front of the screen (similar to what you mentioned about the phone). Awareness is the first step towards that which you seek.
I hear you talk about book recommendations from time to time. If you have not already read them, Meditations by Marcus Aralieus and the Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday are great sources for daily reflection. Walden by Ralph Waldo Emerson is another good one to revisit or dive into.
At the same time, much respect to you for all the dedication, money, and time you have invested to bring all of us inside views of so many aspects of the game and from different progression angles. As a new player, the content you have created has helped me enjoy the game while helping me progress to more fun content. I just got Scyl this past week and I get it now. LOL, I also got Ynesca recently and from an early game perspective, she is very good. I need better gear for her but I can also see where her utility will fall off towards the end game.
Stay well, good vibes to you if or when you need them.
I am very similar to you in that if i do something i typically go all out. The first year of RAID was a bad one, it was like the perfect storm. Just had my first kid with a lot of sleepless nights with my boy in one arm and the phone in the other. Sometime near the end of that first year I had a similar realization and everytime i wanted to spend money on RAID i put that money into an investment account for the boy. Then it became a habbit now my boy is 3yr's old and has more in his investment account than about 90% of people do in their savings. I grew up on wellfare, not knowing if we would have power etc so I know i have done good, but I know i can do better.
Thank you for sharing the video as its high time for me to step back and re-focus again like i did two years ago.
I've been watching your vids since the Clash Royale days. It was such a pleasant surprise that, when I started playing Raid, that one of the OG content creators I used to watch also made the switch to Raid. From an OG fan, I really appreciate this video, dude.
Thanks ASH. I actually went through this these past few days. So I recently got into RSL and it was mostly to knowing that I had an addictive personality. I smoked for 30+ years and I still drink but I’ve cut down a lot due to a DUI. I’ve spent 4-5K these past 4 months since I started but I knew it was bad when I chase Duchess for 2k and didn’t get her. I appreciate you putting this video together. It really did make me reflect on my actions.
Thanks for tuning in ;)
Hey Ash,
Your videos helped me through some rough times. I've been working on keeping all my addictions at bay and gave up Raid more than a year ago. I miss the community and your videos, your kindness and honesty was always close to my heart, but I know it's better to keep my distance as long as I haven't addressed the root cause of my addictive tendencies.
I recently heard something interesting: instant gratification from things like games, sugar, alcohol, or gambling can distort a personality and lead to addiction because the good feeling is short-lived and reward based. By withdrawing from these substances, we can find a happier state not based on fleeting rewards, just being more present.
hugs all
I've only been playing raid for about two months but I love your channel and seeing this candid video is a big deal. I have dealt with pretty much all of this to a degree or another.
The one thing I can say helped my binge eating was ADHD medication. I was undiagnosed my whole life and while I'm still dealing with phone addiction and whatever, it stopped my mindless binging completely.
Great video, I have had a similar addiction when I left high school except I was smoking it and not eating. Also Ash gives to charity in most shard openings and still wants to do more for people. What a man.
I hate you for making this video, because it hits so hard (I deeply appreciate you, at a visceral level is what I'm saying). I've struggled with this in the past, and know it is NOT easy to deal with. I'm a physician and interact with people suffering from addiction every day. The love in this message is *unreal*. ASH, please keep making real videos. It hits so hard for some people, and helps to bring the humanity back to those who don't directly suffer these effects. Please don't apologize for these., as you never know who you might be hitting home with. The literature says you need 7 times to stop an addiction, or to change your stage of change -- and if you are the 7th, you may change someones life forever. Great message.
Ash.... This video speaks to the heart. I don't have an addictive personality but I do have two vices that are hard to quit.... drinking and video games. I'm 41, a veteran, just achieved a bachelors degree at age 40 in Business admin/marketing. I have an ok career, a terrible relationship with my g/f, and a mediocre quality of life. Drinking and video games are just a couple things that make me happy. It's ok to have a vice... I go to work every day, I take care of my kid that is almost grown, I pay all my bills on time, and I get to purchase "drink" and play the video games I love. Here I am at almost 42 years old and I am about to reintroduce my youtube channel again for fishing in PA. I have been watching you for four years and have been quite jealous that I have not made a channel showcasing this game. Maybe one day I will do a secondary channel from my fishing and showcase the gaming I love. The two games I play the most are Ultima Online and raid shadow legends.
This is what I like about you Ash; honesty, humility, humor and all around positivity. Thanks!
Hits home on so many levels. Thank you for sharing. It's good for many of us to know we are not alone in our struggles with addiction in all of it's different forms - alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, etc.
Addiction is different for everyone, you spent 400$ on the game ...that's what I used to spend on heroin..
Been clean 5yrs ...realizing you have a problem is the 1st step..This game is designed to bum you out and then BAM! SHARDS , EPIC CHAMP...i love you bro ..God has you here for a reason
Much respect, brother. Remember, “addictive” personalities are also capable of accomplishing great things. Things that require dedication, persistence, and follow-thru. Try to identify the goodness you generated that you as linked to your “addictive” nature. It isn’t all bad, and it can be vectored to great effect.
*that was linked to
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Yep, I could see it in many of your vids. The ones where you are super hyper, scratching and wiping your nose. You blamed it on allergies, but I could tell it was coke, at least some of the time, as I did it myself as a teenager, and then went clubbing every weekend on ecstasy (MDMA) until I was 40 but I was fortunate never to be addicted simply because at 40 I said enough, and I've never done it since in 16 years and don't want to, feel no desire to. I've seen enough of it to see when others are on something, and 35 years of psychology with experience directly, and indirectly behind me has given me a deep insight into addiction, and I can see it in it's multiple guises amongst the CC's playing Raid. It's ok, admitting it to yourself is the first step to recovery. Talking about it, is the way through, but the itch is always there for those who are addicted to anything as I have friends who still count the days after many years. Counting the days is like a mantra that keeps you away from whatever it is that has you hooked. The only real way is to avoid it altogether, and the people who are addicts as they will drag you back in, or at least recognise when you might be tempted back in for those who have succumbed in the past is to walk away before the temptation becomes an urge, and the urge has you debating why it's ok just this one time. It's not, it never is, and there is no GOOD reason, only excuses. Once at that stage, you are going to do it, you just need the right internal reason/excuse to justify it. "I had a stressful day" Take a long hot soak, or go for a run. I'll be alright, it's just one. Nope, it never only ends with the one.
Run! don't walk in that moment or get dragged right back in, with the self-recriminations and how wretched you are as a person after doing it that one time again that drives the cycle of despair and more usage of the drug that takes it away for just another few minutes/hours/days and back again to how disgusting you are that justifies doing more and more because you are worthless anyway so why not. I've heard it all, seen it all and have experience of gambling addiction too with my own father growing up to know it when I encounter it. Fortunately, for me, I can take a step back when I feel I'm being drawn into anything that is more than entertainment value only because I recognise the signs from others' around me over the years as my warning to turn away before it's too late, and the psychology background ofc. That way I can enjoy everything, including drugs in my time, even indulge heavily (binge) but always know when to put it down and leave it alone for a long time after a binge before it was too late for me and that really is fortunate, to have the self-control to do so at the first warning sign is hard when it's so much fun, but that's how humans can do everything in life for years and still function. Only when you ignore those signs and get lost in whatever it is that has your dopamine flowing is when you will become addicted, and once there, you are always an addict to the end of your life whether you know it, or not. Anyone who says it won't get them is either lying to themself or just basically an idiot in the 100th percentile to think/believe that.
I always knew it could happen to me and was determined to never neglect the warning signs and put it down when I saw it so I could do it over years in a way that I could always be myself and not beholden to a drive that is never going to be sated ever, that will control your every waking moment eventually. It will drive you, change you and be you. Your next fix is always your motivation that starts only moments after your last fix and you will do things that may not have ever entered your mind before the addiction to facilitate that singular all encompassing need. I never believed I was in control, as any drug whether chemical, biological or physically induced will always be the winner if you do not heed the signs and stop. It will always be there, have fun with whatever takes your fancy, I'm no born again anything, and won't say "everything in moderation" as that is pointless rhetoric and will only illicit the response "Yeah, yeah, I know" but do two things, especially when it comes to drugs, but for anything that will give you that dope hit.
1. Read everything there is about whatever you're about to indulge in as there is no excuse with the internet readily available and many non judgemental sites that will just give you the facts/information that you require to arm yourself against the negatives as well as what positives you are likely/should experience, and not just listen to your friends and anecdotal stories as they are not you, and your experience will be unique within a framework of expected outcomes. This will give you what you need to know and what to expect by the effects of it that will inform you as you go through the experience what it is you're meant to be experiencing, and what is not right. Knowledge is power, and having that knowledge may save your life, or the life of those you are with if a joint experience (pun intended).
2. Stop when you are having the most fun. It sounds counter intuitive to stop when you are having the best of times and even harder to do when substances that alter the brain/thinking/behaviour is involved. However, doing so does two internal things. A. It automatically gives you a traffic light system telling you to slow down, stop, then go again at a later time. B. Extends the time you hit that high at a level that is non addictive for you. It basically gives you years instead of weeks/months before you hit the limiter and you become an addict. The whole point of drugs for many is that you lose control, or to avoid something painful. The former is fine when you have a network around you that will stop you, but most do not so you must be your own guardian under the circumstances, or have a trusted friend hit the brakes for you at an agreed juncture, or when you get to a certain level. The later will never work. Sadly, the only way to survive that level of trauma, is to actually resolve it with a clear mind, and most likely therapy to turn from victim, to survivor. The drugs never "take away" the pain, and just victimises you more as it only gives a brief respite by changing you further, until you have forgotten your original trauma because you now are driven in every waking moment to find more drugs to soothe the physical, mental and emotional pain caused by the drugs (I include alcohol when I say drugs as it is a drug to humans). Get help for this asap, or dive into the murky world of seeking living oblivion until you most likely die a sad forgotten and excluded member of society as few care about your story/reasons/excuses, they just judge your current actions/state.
One last thing. Always take responsibility for whatever it is you get take. Unless there is literally a gun to your head, you can't blame taking/doing anything on anyone else. Only you can be persuaded. Only you can take the substance, or participate. Only you can decide to start. Only you are in control of you. So it's no one else's fault but your own, so own it. To blame others is the biggest lie of them all. THERE ARE NO REASONS... ONLY EXCUSES, DELUSIONS AND LIES!
Great video, hard to make, I'm sure. I did all kinds of things in my younger days and never got addicted to any of it. I had fun, but when it was time to step away, I didn't have a problem stepping away. I grew up around addiction, I saw the bad side constantly, and I swore I wouldn't go down that road. So imagine my surprise when I realized, 5 years into the game, that I had developed a very bad relationship with "World of Warcraft." I mean BAD, every night, put the kids to bed and jump straight on the computer. 15 minutes in, I would be hating the game, always just short of achieving the goal at hand, but I still played, for hours, every night. I had to have the best video cards, sound cards, monitors, 5+1 surround sound (even though I played mostly with a headset so I would wake anyone). I was on the verge of losing my wife, my family, my job, everything. That's when I realized what had happened, Digital Addition was a real thing. I had to go cold turkey immediately. I disassembled the PC I'd spent thousands to build, and I gave away every component to a different person. Spent 6 months with no connection to the internet other than that chat app I used on my phone to talk to some of the great people I met while gaming. When I did get another computer, it had to be bare, no more video or audio cards, it the motherboard doesn't have it, I don't need it. Raid is a bit of an addiction, I guess, but I've maintained a very low spending ceiling, most $50 a month, sometimes going months without spending a dime.
Being cross platform at least allows me to spend time with my family in the evening while casually playing (grinding) the game. And much less stressful with a turn based game than a real-time action game. Still, I keep a mindful eye on the time I spend, so I never fall down that hole again.
This resonates with me a lot, especially you talking about "being the best version of myself". I feel that every day and it is helping me overcome my own addictions. All the best.
Hey Ash!
Great video, I'm in a very similar boat. Very addictive personality, and when the dopamine hits it hits hard. It becomes a form of self medicating for my other issues, keeping myself happy. I remember last year I think, you had a video where you talked briefly about not doing shard pull videos as much anymore. I wondered if you were struggling when you started doing more recently. I'm proud of you for sharing what you're going through and I wish you the very best in keeping to your goals!
WTF lol I want to quit smoking today and this video pops up! The timing is uncanny
You can do it! I believe in you!
FWIW, I recently lost my friend who lost his battle against throat cancer. He was a constant smoker and got sepsis. If you still plan on quitting smoking, I'm here cheering you on! You can do it!
@@b4lotus thank you so much for saying that! Much appreciated
I've quit twice, its just the first day without out thats the hardest, stay busy for that 1 day and it will be so much easier. Plan a little hike or something, just don't sit around thinking about it, good luck my friend.
You can do it bud the difference is unreal you got this 💪
Love you ashe. I was a heroi. Addict for 10 years. Now 7 years clean and i still fight with mundane addictions, work, food, cigs, etc. Its a battle everyday. Thank you for sharing
Ash, I am super proud of you. I am currently 3 years sober from Nicotine. Congratulations 🎉🎉 on sobriety, no matter where you start, its about where you finish.
this is why youre my favorite content creator for raid (probably for everything lol). You keep it real and dont sugarcoat stuff. Youre not mean about it either! It is also very noble of you to be vulnerable and admit stuff like this on a social platform!
You should really start a podcast!! I know you probably dont have time for it but would be a sick idea!!
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
What a genuine video. Love the realness Ash. Speaking up is the key. I spent 6months in rehab to get control of a food addiction. What I discovered is its not really different from a drug addiction or any other addiction at its root. Normalizing talking about and working on fixing these things is an amazing community service. Well done. You still hold the crown of most positive CC in a humanitarian sense in the Raid community. Well done sir, thanks for all the videos
Thank you for sharing Ash. I enjoyed this video. I have 4 years sober now and I work as an addiction counselor so I can help guide people in their recovery. I understand the struggles and it feels great to me that I am helping heal lives and reconnect families.
Making the video is a huge thing Ash. Much respect to you. The first step to fixing a problem is recognising and owning it. I also have a highly addictive personality and it requires constant attention to not fall into a bad place. I’m hugely fortunate that alcohol smells disgusting to me and I dislike not being in control so strongly I’ve never been tempted by drugs - legal or otherwise. Work was my big addiction for many years. Made myself extremely ill with overwork. That’s also how Raid gets me - it fits into that work niche. I have to deliberately avoid in-game events on a semi-regular basis to break the sense of needing to complete them.
Just throwing some love your way Ash. I’ve been watching for three years and I’ve watched you grow while simultaneously growing myself I only know you through Raid but you are a dope ass individual fr… thanks for all the gems you’ve dropped throughout the years
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Thank you Ash. I started following you when RSL first took off back when I lived in NE not too far from you. We are a lot alike in philosophy and ironically I was just talking to my son about screen time, dopamine and addiction and why I walked away from RSL for good a month ago today. Best wishes.
Congrats on your successes!!
I believe I was a social media addict. I unknowingly used it to judge myself by comparing myself to others' lives, abilities, and mostly physique.
I was subconsciously telling myself I was never good enough, never going to amount to (what I perceived as) others expectations, or not doing enough. After years I noticed something wasn't right and it was me, my thoughts, my disconnect from my family, reliance on social media, and my health. When I realized it could only be social media, I literally stopped using it and after a bit my mental health was improving and I was more in touch with my family. Now I rarely use it and when I do I know how bout to let it affect me.
Much respect for this video my man, I know the struggles of an addictive personality. We love ya for your realness bro ❤
Hits close to home. We're on similar life paths. I'm in with you on spending less and setting a budget. Thank you for all that you do, Ash.
Thank you for making this video. I am personally struggling with food addiction and binge eating. I recently started smoking cannabis every single day to manage some unknown digestive issue. It works very well, but like you said, cognitively its a bit rough. Also weed = snacks and eating like crazy...so not helping the food addiction at all! But i think today you gave me the courage to stop eating recklessly. Its difficult because when youre addicted to food, the dopamine and good feelings when you put whatever youre craving in your mouth...its amazing. I dont have anything in my life that sparks joy like eating does. Games like Raid and WoR are one of my only hobbies and Im sure i can focus my energy on the things that matter in life. So i guess ill be joining you! ❤ sending much love and good vibes your way, Ash.
Addicted to just free styling the vids!!! Great Video Ash! Positive message and Positive vibes. I struggle with being lazy, like I've got a honey do list out of this world. Main reason is that most of it hurts my body when I'm finish, mainly due to not doing those things. So, luckily, Last week, I decided that I wanted to be more active for my health and my kids, so I have started walking and playing Pokemon Go (I play with one of my kids), just to get more active and be able to do more stuff without being hurt for the next few days and scarfing down medications to feel better, and honestly, It feels good to be able to get outside, get some sun and feel the wind, and be active!
I always appreciate how candid you are with your videos, advice and whatever you have. Youre a great content creator in general and one of my favorites
Haven’t played RAID for near on a year now, best thing I did in a long time. Still, enjoy your vids, and this vid is a good example of why. Legend bro.
For this video and for everything in life the most important idea is what you said somewhere between the lines: being a better version of yourself. I don't spend money on raid, I play it because it's fun. I was a food addict and fat, then I started working out and I am reasonably fit now. It's not about how you spend your time in a day, it is about when you wake up tomorrow can you say I am better than yesterday? Did I eat clean? Did I do one more push-up? Did I say my loved ones that I love them? Did I earn more money, or did I try for this? If one of the answers is yes than you are in a good path. It doesn't matter if you pay Plarium 400 dollars if you can afford (don't do it anyway :D)
I'm here with ya Ash. I too have an addictive personality. Ended up being dozens of thousands of dollars in debt (how can I not have money if my credit card isn't maxed eh?) I was within 2 days of declaring bankruptcy and possibly ending up on the street. But thanks to family, a debt management program (a real on, not a consolidation thing...) I'm getting my life back together.
I joined Raid Shadow Legends because of the hype, and I got into it because of the gacha....it scratches an itch. BUT, I forced myself to no spend a dime. So, in essence I set a budget for myself in raid, it's just $0.
I watch you, and other raid youtubers so you guys can teach me what to do. Obviously the game itself just wants me to spend money...cause, ya know...they gotta pay bills. But for the F2Player out there, you guys give good advice. Yes, you splurge and occasionally go nuts with shard openings...but besides that. You teach, I've learned what champs to keep, how to level efficiently, how to FOCUS what I have to get what I need.
You are a good teacher. Your a little loud and boisterous...but that's fine! But you are a good teacher.
I'm sitting on 1 sacred, 2 void and 25 ancient....not touching them, until it is time....until I get enough saved that I can actually do an Event...
I've not really been able to do a full on merge champion event yet....its only been ... well, I just got Scyl...so that long.
But the first 3 months I did alone, without youtube, and pretty much made each and every mistake you guys put in "Avoid these X mistakes as a new player...."
So I think it took 2 months to crawl out of that (I started a new account, but this one had a few champs that I couldn't resist coming back....(Bellower, Miscreated Monster, Jizoh)
I digress
I came to say I'm with you Ash, I too have a budget, and together we can continue our raid legends log into the future! (or we move to another game) You keep doing what you do and teach me, and I'll keep watching you and learn.....and one day I'll come here and comment that with your help you got me my first merge even champion!
Ash, Thank you for your honesty, your positivity, for opening up about these topics, thank you for being you! I've struggled a lot in different ways over the years. It's a bit refreshing to hear someone talk about this and gives me comfort that I am not alone in my struggles. Addiction rears it's ugly head in many forms and I think to some extent at some point in our life we all deal with addiction. I truly believe you reach many more people than you realize and for that you are a blessing! Keep up the fight as we all will, knowing we are all fighting along side you. Once again thank you for another great video
You're a good dude!! Been watching your videos since clash of clans and I knew then, there was something about you that was so relatable to me. We each struggle with our demons but bringing them in the light is the only way to conquer them. A little over 10 years ago, I decided to give up alcohol and it completely changed my life, that and attending church on a regular basis has not only changed my life but my families life as well. With the tragedies you faced, it is easy to self medicate which takes us down a dark road if not corrected. Stay strong and take it one day at a time. I know you don't know me but if you ever need to talk, just reach out.
Thanks for sharing. I'm glad I listened. ❤
Thanks for tuning in ;)
Thanks Ash, wow so much to say. After 46 years smoking tobacco I stopped, well ran out of it, on sunday 14/7 /24. Nicotine withdrawals work well in the garden ripping out weeds was never so much fun. To all those commenters sharing their addictions and problems and successes big small or huge Thanks. Kia kaha to all. Thanks Ash sending positive vibes your way.
Brother, this video resonates with MOST of us, I think most gamers have an addictive personality so most of us can relate. this is a great community and we are all there for each other. You go and do what you need to do and we will be here to support you!! Thanks for being genuine and open with us.
Lots of love from Cape Town, South Africa...from a fellow addict...
thank you for being real with us Ash, this game is fun to play, I am not totally ftp but I do budget, I buy the gem pack every month, and I use some of them to get shards but energy takes priority, in your content you think of everyone and I think of you too, sending good vibes your way, stick to it now, be dangerous but disiplined- I have faith in you Ash-I pulled Cupidus today and looked up your content on him-you are my go to- I am out of ancient shards but still hoping for wixwell because I did not get him during the fusion-I reached level 60 today, have 7 lvl 60 champions and you have helped me make it to where I am, thank you Ash blesings
Thank you Ash, you are always trying to help people not only with game progression but also with day to day problems and issues. Thank you for your honesty and positivity
Damn I hear ya Ash, I totally get it man. I’ve been dealing with addiction for most of my life too and I’m also in my 40s. I did go the hard party route when I was younger and it was very hard to quit and to take a different path in life. Nowadays I struggle with eating and the gym too. It’s crazy but this game is awfully addictive for me as well, which is probably why I’m also drawn to it, but it’s always nice to know that I’m not alone in that aspect. Thanks!
I really like these types of videos and not many content creators cover subjects like this, it really shows that you think about your viewers. Keep up the amazing work.
Started playing just 1 1/2 month ago and at first I thought you were a paid actor from raid, but your content is actually quite honest and wholesome, especially this video. Cheers
Addiction is WHY I started raid. After getting laid off, I needed something to fill my time. I wanted something to do while I run videos, etc to keep myself busy. That addiction isn't in spending - I've only spent $50 total - instead it was the time. After deciding just to retire eventually (I hate looking for work), I've more or less let this game take over almost my whole existence. I don't like it - I never really did - but when I don't have it to eat my time up I feel worse for it. I just wish it took less time - like about the amount that work did - because there are other tasks and hobbies that I really wish I could spend more time on again.
Very ironic timing. I quit Raid because I was addicted to playing it. I was up to 6 F2P accounts. I dropped to 1. I stopped playing for a bit. I just started back playing yesterday. 🤣 Gonna be straight up honest with you. I don't care if you play free or spend some money on the game. You do what makes you happy & you sound like you've got it figured out. More power to you. Thanks for sharing this video. Oh & seriously, I just like hearing you talk about the game we, all here, love. 😁
Ash i want you to know how much what your saying means, seeing one of your favorite creators take the time to make these steps truly helps to take the steps yourself. You are creating positive change in tons of lives with this, including mine and for that I thank you.
These videos are the reason why i love this channel. Damn,i will try to have more screen-free time.We love you Ash.
The concepts of this video are exactly why I have only ever spent $20 on Raid, and refuse to spend more. I bought a bunch of chickens to take my Rhonda from 50 to 60. My mother is an addict, and I have had my own addictions throughout my life, and I found the key with Raid, exactly as you said, you’re not competition. Sometimes new guys will join my clan, and even though they are lower level than me and newer to the game they , they will have spent so much money that their clam boss team is significantly better than mine. On one hand, I could get competitive and buy some legendary books, and on the other hand being a little over half into this ride, I would never stop having to catch up to be where I wanted to be.
You're in your 40's Ash?! I thought you were mid 30's. It takes a lot to admit to one's own addictions, or indulges. I've been watching you since I got into Raid about 3 years ago. Took some breaks here and there, but I fully agree and support your decisions brother. Focus on what makes YOU and the ones around you happy. Much respect Ash, looking forward to any video you post
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Excellent point and I bet I'm close to the same stage of my life as you are, not quite to self budgeting but close.😉 I had the college alcohol troubles much like you (no arrest/accidents thankfully) but it got my Dad to open up to me about his large alcohol addiction after his military service and his divorce with my mom so that went a long way to help me understand that what was going on in my life and where it came from. I have always enjoyed your channel on Raid and I especially love your willingness to actually create videos like this one to help not only yourself but all of us your viewers if we're dealing with similar issues! Thank you for being so open and honest in a video about a mobile game/computer game. As you say much love and here's to hoping you are well ❤
Dude, I got back into raid for the ninja thing, then figured id catch up with your channel. Then I see this video that applies to me in very personal ways...Thanks for that. It's something I've been struggling with for 12 years. I'm going to try to be there with you and stay strong alongside you in this journey. Thanks for being real man.
Great video. I've dealt with similar issues as you. Moderation is a word that wasn't in my vocabulary before. I really appreciate you taking the time to make this video even though I hesitated to watch it because I knew it would hit home. I'm 8 months without a drink and if I can do that, you can easily stick to a budget :)
No wonder why you are so popular! You're genuine, kind, respectful, honest and a great guy!
Thank you!
Just found your channel yesterday and a new player, loving the game. Loving it more since seeing your videos. This one is so great, more people should do this. Truth i love it. Look forward to seeing more.
Ash, four days is huge, man. Soon enough it'll be a month, and before you know it it'll be two, and soon after you'll be free. I'm proud of you, man. Addiction is no joke and being able to go off of it for any amount of time is awesome.
Thanks man! I appreciate it :)
Much respect mate, takes a lot to be vulnerable on here and its truly inspiring. Thanks for sharing and has made me reflect on aspects in my life I could cut out.
I had just turned 19 when in just a few months I went from studying biomedical science an hours travel away to bedbound with pain and fatigue. After searching high and low, I learned that my illness is genetic and I will never get better. So I fell into a deep depression. I loved hiking and being outdoors, but nature is not made for wheelchairs and rollators. I had enjoyed gaming on my phone casually in high school, so I decided to download some games to pass those long days in bed. Soon, I had spent over $3000. I didn't have a job or disability benefits at the time, so it came from my savings. But I just HAD to complete every event, or I wouldn't be happy, albeit for a moment until the rush wears off. I landed on dire financial stress, especially because I developed a shopping addiction as well, all for that serotonin rush. I even thought about ending things because a life of dislocating joints, full-body aches, and (self-induced) poverty wasn't something I wanted.
At that point, I had lost all faith in the medical system as well, because no one would believe me, or doctors acted like my disability didn't exist because they hadn't heard of it before, so I was weary of accepting help. But eventually, I did. I'm nowhere near recovered, but I'm getting better. I no longer spend on every event. I have learnt to accept my disability as a part of me, and I am trying to find joy in other things.
I'll get there, and I know whomever reads this will get there as well. I believe in you.
And trust me, you don't need that 5th legendary elf champion. That money's better spent on getting a coffee and some cake in a nice cafe, or going to a museum. Maybe you'll pull that champion one day, and if you don't, you'll beat that stage another way!
Nothing but love for you Ash. Wish we had more people with the outlook that you had and the insight you are willing to share with all of us
Thanks for sharing your struggles, Ash. Every time I pull up one of your videos, you are always hype and smiling and happy. I never got the impression you dealt with things like this. That's my ignorance. But now that I'm aware, you do sometimes get that madman look in your eye when talking about Raid where you just ZONE IN with laser focus. The closest thing I have to an addiction is probably food. But I'm not sure if it's an addiction, or I'm just eating from stress or boredom. And I will thank my lucky stars that I don't like the taste of alcohol because knowing my personality, I can see myself overindulging.
Appreciate this video! I used to be hooked in COC before moving to Raid as well. Love your content, especially videos about the forgotten (cheap) champions
Thanks for sharing this Ash and congrats on the four days! Your self-reflection is great. You've overcome many hurdles in the past and will continue to do so. As a Catholic every year for Lent I give up something for 40 days. I always dread doing this because I think it will be really hard, but it ends up being easier than I thought and the discipline I gain from it is very satisfying. Great topic and best of luck on making it to day 5 and beyond!
Hey there!
Your video has resonated with me deeply. I wanna tell my story, if anyone likes to listen: i´ve only spent like 25 Euros on Games until now, and pirated the rest....(Judge me, i dont really care). But I´ve never spent anything on a Gacha game or any other ingame purchases. Ftp only.
I have, however an addiction. It´s not a chemical substance or any other gambling thing. Doesn´t matter what it is (im a bit ashamed), the point is: i was about to relapse when i saw your video by chance. Ash, you´re the best. It´s a brave thing to admit to oneself that you have this kind of flaw in your personality, but it is also very scary.
I want any reader who´s struggling to know, that just because we might feel tempted, or we might even fail, it does not mean we should give up. Once you´ve pledged yourself to quit, you can´t go back. Never.
Stay Strong-minded Brothers and Sisters.
Fantastic video. Good on you for not only speaking for addiction in gaming, but as a whole. It's something not enough creators talk about. Smaller and upcoming creators need to hear this the most. Congrats on what you've accomplished and keep striving to be better every day. That's all we can do!