I worked at a prison for many years. We were taught if we were ever taken hostage we are taught to become a hostage and not be the officer in charge. You need to let yourself become the patient and let doctors have control of your heath and mental health.
It's normal to be anxious about it. I so hope you get the hospital bed. When I was in the hospital I made a friend that was anorexic and she didn't eat nothing but an apple and she gave away her breakfast, lunch & dinner tray. It was so sad. She wasn't ready to recover 😥 I think about her often. She was a professor and declined with her illness and had to quit. I hope you eat your breakfast, lunch & dinner 🍽 & snacks so you can live your better life that awaits you. Hugs 🫂 and continued prayers for you 🙏🏻 ❤️
I’m so happy that you will be going to a hospital. Don’t let fear rob you of getting better. You deserve this chance. You are a beautiful person and I’m sure you are helping so many by sharing your story. When you are scared just remember all of your TH-cam friends that are praying for you. Sending all of my love, prayers and strength to you. NEVER GIVE UP ❤️🙏❤️🙏
You’re an intelligent woman who’s great at expressing yourself. The unknown is always scary. Please know that feeling will pass quickly once you’re in the hospital and recovery begins.
@@liquefaith Hello L.F ive been in the same boat But, managed to fix it.I recognize the real hunger and the one that is not real bad .If you like too we can do skype and i promise you wont feel alone.Your a beautiful girl and 2 days ago , funny i saw your future.I saw you with a smart peofessional clothing and you had hanging a UD card and you had some keys and you had the. most beautiful smile matching your twinkle eyes.I saw you are much needed and soooo appreciated.My Great Grandfather is from Nederland and other side Norse.I can come sometime and visit you and a little support.I work a little in the the health sector.Just want you to know you are special and God has a plan for you.Take care Kristine
@@liquefaith Hey Angelique, I hope you are feeling a bit better? I just wanted to send you a message too, that contains some encouragement and support... Of course you are going to feel terrified of the big changes of routine that going into hospital entails. It's unknown and hugely different to your daily life at the moment, so it's only natural to feel scared, but this will pass as soon as you're there and settled in after a day or so. As for the fear after eating/of eating and anything to do with food, what I did that worked for me, was when the fear hit, I sat and thought and often wrote about why I wanted this (recovery) in the first place and what were the things I wanted to achieve by being recovered. So for me, I wanted to take up my career as a professional dancer again, which was impossible in the starved state I was in, as I had no strength and I focused on that goal throughout every mealtime and after meals when that evil anorexic voice gets a hold of you. Every week that passes this will become easier and easier, until soon you don't think about the fear at all! So for you, maybe focus on all the things you have told us about that you want to do to help others after you're recovered and also getting better so we can all meet for that conference weekend you were telling us about also!! I know you can do this Lique, you have more than enough strength and courage to overcome this, I promise you that! Sending you lots of love and hugs always 💖💖💖 Edit: I also started to do colouring books and knitting and crosswords etc. As they keep the brain and the hands completely distracted from thinking about anything else, these are great for when you're feeling anxious too and are tools I still use today for when I am fretting about stuff xx 💖
About the fear thing.... my therapist said (and this worked for me) that when you are creating a fear-scenario in your head, you shouldn't stop at the worst point. Instead you should continue the story. For example, when you think: When I eat more of this, I will lose conrol - then I will eat more and more - then I will binge - don't stop here, but continue with: then I will feel uncomfortable for a bit, but then I will get sleep, I will wake up and feel better ...... This helped me a lot with my anxiety disorder and continues helping me until today, when I'm afraid of something. Bad thing may happen, but it is not the end of the world. 💛
Recovering from anorexia was the hardest thing I ever did, but I did it. I remember finally getting to the point where I decided I was going to feel the fear of going into recovery, but do it anyway. The fear lasted for weeks but as I kept sitting in fear and doing the things I needed to do to get well again, it started becoming less and less. It felt like a blessing when I finally recovered and my mind wasn’t only consumed with the idea of food. It got easier and easier to ignore the voice of anorexia. If a hospital bed is available to you, that’s a blessing. Please go. You may want to make excuses as to why you shouldn’t go because the fear will be telling you not to. Please feel the fear and go anyway. I promise you the fear will not last forever and life on the other side of an eating disorder is so much better than living with one. I’m looking forward to hearing about your healing journey. I know you will be a great inspiration to many. Lots of love to you 🌼💜💜💜
Going through treatment and refeeding is terrifying but so is being so unwell like you are and so close to death. The anxiety is the eating disorder and not the real Angelique who wants recovery and wants help. See treatment as help. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time and keep in mind the bigger picture. Being free and happy, having strength to enjoy the life your have been blessed with 🙏✨🌈 you can do this. You're a strong person with a lot of experience and knowledge. You know the process and what to expect so it's about accepting it and finding ways to cope with it. We are all here for you for support❤️❤️❤️ keep sharing your fears xx
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you weren’t trying to lose weight… that you were focusing on self care. If you focus on self care, nourishing yourself with food, drink, love (for yourself), and happiness then weight and other things fall into place. You’ll get through this. Hang in there lovely lady. ❤
You expressed precisely how I have felt much too often recently Lique...I don't wish this on anybody but it is nice to know I am not alone...I am 72 years old and there are days I just cry for my mother...The comfort and love I am missing - as are you - I find in God now....My constant faithful companion and the honest men , christians and women like yourself who are not too proud to admit their vulnerabilities and susceptibilities in this day we live in...Be strong and of good courage - help is not only on the way - He is at the door...God bless all saints in Jesus name...Amen
@@sylviamyne5627 He knows individually what each of us is going through... and will never forsake us nor lie to us which is why he didn't say it would be easy...He won't give any of us more than he/she can bear which gives me the assurance that I/WE WILL pass this test just as Just Job did.....I love you all - Till we meet soon and very soon saints...God bless and continue to keep a hedge of protection you
Oh amen , I feel the same, the closer I grow to Jesus, the more confidence I have in Him!!!❤️🙏🏻That is a miracle Lique, your weight gain. Yes, keep yourself aware, when you are hungry, and can feel that, and you eat to a satiated state, it is a victory every time!! I’m glad your intestines are doing better!! Thank God, you’re in my prayers sweetie!!!😘
Hey Angelique 😊 Wow, it's so clear to me that you have started your recovery journey all by yourself! How incredibly brave! Go you 🥰 The progress you are making is every bit as good or better than what you would have made in a highly organized hospital environment. You're doing it! Your explanation on hunger and satiety was so helpful. Thank you for sharing x
Big big big hugs sweet girl! We are all behind you! You can do this! People say one day at a time but at times things are so difficult all you can do is one hour at a time.. 10 minutes at a time. Prayers things will change for the better and you will have the strength to reach the top!❤️🙏❤️
You look so beautiful!!! You are glowing here 💗🥰 I have been following you since the first video as I too have been struggling with an ED a big part of my life. We can do it, good luck 💪
I wish I could hug you. That feeling you have of being alone and scared is such a hard place to be. The discomfort of moving through recovery and refeeding is so hard and feels intolerable, but it so worth it to be on the other side. I repeated to myself, "no one ever died from anxiety and feeling discomfort" when I went through my last round of refeeding. It helped me to know as HORRIBLE as I felt, I was in the care of medical professionals and they would be sure I made it through refeeding safely. The only danger was the eating disorder and going back to it. More comfortable, for sure, but also that comfort meant lonliness, isolation, pain, and, eventually, me leaving the world before giving back. You are not alone in this, many people have travelled this path and when you commit to getting to the other side, you can be who you needed in this space for someone else (if you want to!). Sending love from New Hampshire (United States).
God Bless your special journey now. You will do this .When there is light from second to second there too you have conquored the darkness The pain uncertainty and pain. Your never alone. We are all here for you. God is real and speaks through people too. You are brave. You are wise. You are strong. Love your quote today. Being yourself.
Don’t be scared , God will be with you and you’re Guardian Angel will be watching over you ! Prayers for you , may Jesus be with Angelique. Amen That is a beautiful quote !
I hope you see this somehow, even though I'm a few days late in seeing this. Our mind is bad at painting a vision of how things will be for us. It floods every scrap of the canvas with fear. Recovery is just like going somewhere new; before we get there, we can't imagine how it will be (only that it will be scary) and we can't imagine how/who WE will be in this new place either. It feels like losing control which is scary! Especially since eating disorders are a coping mechanism/way to control things about our experience that have hurt us. BUT, I have learned that just like getting used to a beautiful new place, new views, new things to do and see, recovery itself stops being the scary "road to get there" and becomes a new comfortable place to be. Instead of the old control ways, healthier ways to respond and feel start to grow. As someone who did get hungry after being malnourished (and not hungry for a really long time) and was scared of binges it was a little scary but as the body gets more in balance and healing occurs, the signals your body sends you (and how you feel about them) will change and get better. I love the quote of the day! You're right, I always think people are more beautiful when they describe their hurts, mistakes or pains- but it's harder to see myself that way. Any time you are scared just think I'm sending you a BIG HUG!!! Thinking of you and sending lots of love💓💓💓🤗
You may tell yourself one thing: Your emotions do not define you. They will pass and new emotions will come up. Discomfort, too, is a temporary thing. It will pass. You „just“ have to get through this. One step at a time. I hope you’ll find the support you need at the hospital!
Honestly, it’s okay to eat for emotional reasons at times. Your body is in a deficit and that makes it very difficult to regulate emotions. Keep feeding it adequately and consistently, and the emotional regulation will develop. You sound so much more clear and focused today, even with the immense fear you’re experiencing… keep going, my friend. I know you can do this! I promise that doing the recovery work is worth it.❤
We are here to support you. You do look as if you have put on a little weight. Plan your week day by day. Do things a little at a time not to stress yourself out. Happy to hear you will be going to hospital. Make sure you get outside for walks & sun. It does improves mood. Are you able to contact family to let them know how you are doing & progress you have made. Keep in contact with friends that are supportive. Bless You.
I'm so glad you've got a bed in hospital! I know you must be terrified and I know that feeling all too well from the times I went to hospital for my depression. The one thing that got me there and through the fear was knowing I would get the help I needed and that I would feel better. So it may be uncomfortable to begin with, but try stay focused on the outcome and recovering, because you can do it! Sending lots of love xxx 💗🌻🌺
The journey through recovery is scary because it requires a completely different mindset than you’ve had in the past. But when you are on the other side and recovered and looking back it will be soooooo worth it!!! ♥️
My dear Angelique it is so brave of you to reach out during this time. You are facing something right now that is not only difficult but terrifying. I am not speaking of the hospital stay nor the refeeding. I understand that it is so much deeper than this. Your recovery requires you to face the issues that you have been numbing with your E.D. You will find peace in understanding that nothing has been your fault. You will heal in your forgiveness of other's. Your apetite increasing is a blessing. Your body needs this nourishment and you deserve the freedom of recovery. God is with you and he has his angels with you as well. Remember that fear is something that can only stop us if we allow it to. I pray for you every day when I take my walks and talk to God. I want to remind you that you are not alone. You are loved and thought of often. What really stands out to me in this video are your eyes. They are so blue and they are bright and sparkling. You are absolutely blooming into the beautiful woman that you always were but held back by a cruel disease. I want to help you plan that convention you mentioned before. We all need something fun to look forward to. Hugs n love as always....
You may be freaking out but you look more and more alive every single video. Don’t let that feeling of lack of control at the hospital scare you so much. You’ll be amazing there. It’s a true blessing, god is with you. That quote was beautiful and so meaningful, I love it!!! I think and pray for you all the time. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
You look so much better!! You are smiling and I can see and hear happiness from you. Being scared of the unknown is normal. Our bodies are God given and our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Nourish your mind and heart with God's Word and nourish your body in His name when you eat food!! God has a purpose for you.
I've suffered from anorexia since when I was around 10 years old. It was atypical because I was not afraid of gaining weight, but rather, I have a phobia of throwing up. I figured that the less I ate, the less likely I would be to ever throw up. I am in my mid-thirties now, so back in the mid-nineties, there was not a lot of understanding surrounding the type of anorexia that I had, and most doctors had no idea of how to treat it. I had to tackle my phobia in order to overcome to eating disorder. The phobia still exists, but I have become able to manage it and I no longer fear eating food from it. I LOOOVE food actually!! Something that really helped me back then, was setting goals for myself. All of the things that I was unable to do due to my illness, I would write down and make note of and make it my goal to get better and to do those activities again. Recovery is painful and difficult, but nowhere near as painful as being stuck in the disordered thinking and habits. You have nothing to lose in seeking recovery and actually, everything to gain! There will also be people there who are suffering like you are, and I hope you are able to get a bed and are able to form bonds with other like-minded individuals who are actively seeking to improve their own lives. Fear is so incredibly natural, but please don't let it consume you. Let it flow over and through you like a wave of water. It is only temporary. I wish you all the best and am rooting for you!
Hi Angelique. I am a recovered anorexic, and I greatly appreciate your descriptions of all the consuming fears and emotions that one experiences daily. This disorder quite literally changes your brain chemistry, and you don't notice that the monster taking over is not YOU. Something that helped me so much was learning how to separate myself from that evil voice. In recovery, the chemicals in your body and brain begin to regulate, and you suddenly find that recovery is not so scary as that voice once told you. The initial push is the hardest part. After that, you become more rational... everything becomes exponentially more simple, I PROMISE! Also, please know that your worth is not based on this life's struggles. As human beings, we find ourselves worthless, but our great Heavenly Savior sees you so worthy and precious as to lay His life down for your sake. Blessings!!!
I wish it had become easier for me but it never did no matter what weight I reached and no matter how long I kept weight on. I guess this doesn't work for everybody but well done to you! xoxox
@@ababy6074 I struggle everyday too. Don't know if this ever goes away. I had an ED for 26 yearsz 1year in recovery now. Don't know if 100% recovery is even possible, but I'm very grateful for my progress.
You are the most beautiful soul. I have been following you for years and there was a time that you looked like death was at your door..You are a true fighter and I love how well you can articulate your thoughts and feelings. It is obvious that God is working within you. It is a miracle to see you starting to look alive and vibrant. You have so many cheering you on and praying for you. I can't fully understand how you are feeling but eventually you are going to feel so much stronger. Once you are healed you will be able to educate so many of us on this horrible disease\addiction. I will continue to pray that everything will work it's way through and I pray that one day soon you will look back and be so proud of how much you have healed. Love you!!! HUGSl!!!
So good to see you again, Lique! Change is always a pain, even if we are fighting fiercely to attain it. You're gaining!!! That's so exciting, so encouraging. If I can act while holding myself in my higher self, it works. I'm not always capable of doing that. I can operate on behalf of others while forgetting to feed myself, sometimes. You get to be my role model, now. I need to remember more often, and follow through more than a few bites at a time. My friend I hadn't seen for several days came by, and said I looked like I had lost weight. HUGS AND LOVE TO YOU, Lique!!!
💛💛💛 you are brave. You are capable and you are strong. You can do this 🙏. Never let fear hold you back and rob you of a healthier futur. Sending you the biggest hug ever 🥰
Really appreciate that you chose to upload a video instead of doing something harmful to yourself. It's really important to have healthier outlets, and even more, I'm happy that you trust us enough to talk about your hard times in such a vulnerable moment! It is totally okay and normal to feel scared! Take things one step at a time, breathe, the treatment is meant to help you, it might be scary and hurt a bit but it's for a greater good. I'll always be rooting for you. I'm proud of you, always.
After you described giving yourself a hug when you need one, I tried it myself and it helped! Thanks for the tip. I wish we could all be there in person with you as you embark on this next part of recovery. Glad that we can be here with you in spirit at least, rooting you on! Proud of you! The world has been a scary place lately in so many ways, so THANK YOU for opening your arms up to us all and paving the way for connection. You make the world a more authentic and welcoming place 💓
You're such a strong woman!😘It is going to be scary, but that's okay! Try to do the things you love the most when you're scared. Like meditation or listening to some music. We are here for you!🥰
Big hugs from Canada. Don’t think too far ahead. Live minute by minute if you have to. You’re helping so many others with your honesty, positivity and gratefulness. As we say in my 12 step program…It works if you work it, keep working, you’re worth it. ❤
I totally understand everything you’ve talked about. The fear of not being able to stop eating is a huge fear of mine. I don’t feel when I’m hungry, I have to just eat at the times I’m supposed to. The panic I feel if I think I’ve eaten too much is horrible. Keep reaching out through videos. I don’t feel so alone watching your videos. Thank you.
@Lique, you are a fighter and a warrior and a SURVIVOR! God has created you to be a VICTOR and I have faith that you will overcome in time. ❤ You look wonderful-- I can see the efforts of your recovery in your face. Walk (roll?) by FAITH, dear one, not by sight. God will provide and guide you. You are surrounded by so many of us around the world who are cheering for you and praying for your strength and recovery. We believe in you, we love you, and we lend you our strength. Remember, faith the size of a mustard seed! That's all you need and you can move mountains! Sending hugsfrom Detroit, Michigan, USA. One day at a time. One breath, one heartbeat, one moment. You've got this! Xoxo
That quote you read is perfect. Be you. You are beautifully human. Healing is a dynamic journey. Thank you for sharing yours with us. Just keep swimming. You're doing great. 💓
Angelique with the pretty eyes, there's a saying .. it's always darker before the dawn...I know the fear you feel but I also know you can do this because you want to be well and get on with your life, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for big, big, big hugs ...Mary 🇨🇦💜💜🦋
As a former anorexic, you can do this! You are helping yourself and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s not easy- it’s so difficult- but I’m here to tell you that it can be overcome. 💗💗💗
You look so beautiful. I have anorexia as well and anxiety is always present 100 percent. I know exactly what you are talking about regarding fear. You are not alone. I love you and pray for you daily. ❤️
Lique, I know recovery is so scary and hospital is terrifying, but it is truly less terrifying than never getting better and giving in to this disease. You are stronger than this terrible illness. Little by little, you can. You can. ❤
My dear Lique, you are a precious gem. Your self-awareness is wonderful to witness. You have a good handle on your issues, even when things get difficult. I just know that all will be well for you in the end. You're doing great! Please keep us informed. We truly care deeply about you ❤
Do it! Just do it!!! Dont let yourself be down by outside circumtances. The world and people will never be perfect but its ok. You are also ok and worth winning this fight 👌. Believe 🙏and work👍👍👍on yourself🙌.
Dear Angelique, I don't know why, but I feel a bond between me and you. You are going through alot, just like me, but in completely different ways. All I want to tell you is, that I was giving you a hug in my mind, holding you tight when you so much needed it. I am here checking on you everytime, wishing you the strength, faith and patience to go through this. God has a plan for us and all we need to do is ask him for our heart desire. You will make it out of this! Sending lots of love and big hugs to you from Germany.
That feeling that you are not in control..you are and you're doing it right! No purging! I really don't think you could lose control and eat and eat.listen to your body like you are.youre changing your thinking like you need to.i have so much faith in you.do what you need to distract yourself from panicking( which is what I think you are doing) you're going to be fine..youre going to get better!
I agree. I look back at the videos from 4-5 months ago and you can see the change in her face. Cheeks are filling out more and there is different color. Her face looks glowing. She looks so much healthier even though there is still a long way to go. It’s rewarding to see progress. Huge difference from the first video until now and I can’t wait to see her improve even more. She is such a survivor. I hope all the well wishes, love and good intentions we send her make a difference and she finally gets into the hospital that’ll be able to really help her.
please don't comment on someone's appearance, particularly when they're dealing with severe anorexia. telling someone they look healthy/commenting on weight/shape is a significant, significant trigger no matter how positive you mean it.
@@eloiselogue Did you even watch the video? Lique addressed comments like this (I made mine before I finished watching) and she said she is gaining weight and does look healthier and that she’s happy about it. Yes, what I said would trigger most anorexics, but Lique is quite different.
yes it is very powerful the Fear especially when there seems very few options available except for a refeeding regime which must shake you to the core. I dont have an ED but I can relate when I first had to go into emergency detox for alcoholism. I remember getting a bottle of alcohol on my way there. and for the first 2 weeks I couldn't sleep and just walked the corridors in a state of extreme anxiety. Sometimes ones higher power isn't a spiritual concept but a medical intervention. I am sober now for a number of years and attend meetings so I did want to share that in that time my higher power were the caregivers in the facility even though I couldn't see that at the time. thankyou for expressing your deep feelings and anxiety
When a toddler attempts to walk for the first few times, he may fall most of those times..but innately knows this he must keep trying with..he doesn't stop to judge his experience as good/bad, right/wrong..but just just pursues it as a necessary learning experience..gaining control of our minds I believe, is the only way to finally cease fear. Being patient, compassionate, forgiving to our " falls" along the way, and just accepting and allowing what God brings us without judging it gives true peace of mind..this is how I manage my mind lovely friend 💓
I can totally understand the freaking-out feeling . Now ...hopfully you pulled yourself together again to continue your journey 💕 It's always comforting having someone holding our hand while going through hard times but often we have to hold our hands ourself . Perhaps that's how we began to pray ? Immagine my hand for you however . It's there . For your question on how to deal with the overwhelming feelings bringing you to over-eat I have a coupple of suggestions ; I've learned one of the most wonderful calming-instruments in the world ( beside a hot bath or going for walks in the nature ) is just making your self cosy and comfortable and start off any amount of documentaries on nature and the animal-world you need to start feeling relaxed , calmed down , amazed about our world and captured by the miracle we are part of ....this will give you all the distanse and time necessary to think of any kind of " craving " of food you might have and to focus on what treat you desire to give your self . Sweet ? Salt ? Fat ? Carbs ? When you have cleared out the true feeling of what you want and you are in that calm state of mood in which nature-documentaries eventually will bring you ( you can calm down over excited children the same way ) the impulsive-eating is not an option anymore and you will probably be able to eat your treat and feel happy about it without overdoing it ......much love 💕
Oh honey - we all have to love ourselves. I struggle with this every day. You are a beautiful soul. So brave, so truthful. I lost both my adult children this year and everything broke wide open. Thank you for your vulnerability and your wisdom. ❤
You are so knowledgeable, don't EVER doubt yourself!! I believe you will find the answers exactly when and as you need them. The hunger stops when your body gets the nutrients it needs sweetheart. I remember my recovery from near death slowly becoming so enjoyable in that I finally let myself enjoy the flavors of food. The more good fats and high quality animal products I ate, my brain recovered and I started to see myself as beautiful, in the correct perspective. It's hard to put into words, but I learnt to love myself and nourish the hurt girl inside back to life. I know everyone has a different journey and mine is unique, just as yours is your own amazing journey and testimony that IS transformative! You are so strong and beautiful! A true warrior and legend. All my LOVE Ps. My title is new and about a true crime case I'm following lol. Just in case
is your family there for you ? I wish all 12.5 thousand of all of us your supporters could come knocking on your door & give you the biggest hug. Just know even though we cannot be there in real time we are there for you ever step of the way! Love & hugs Judy from the states Pennsylvania
You already look so much healthier: skin has some softness to it; eyes are brighter; and even your hair looks healthier. You are doing so well hon and it's natural to be so anxious about it.
Isaiah 41:10 “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand❤❤❤
You are soooo courageous for sitting with the discomfort! Because exactly that is the point where things change and improve, and so many go into denial at that point and wont face the Terror. What a role Model you are💕💕💕
its amazing how you differentiated your talk about your feelings. i guess its pretty rate, since its such a difficult thing to do and even more so with this illness. you amaze me every time angelique, keep fighting, i m rooting for you. sendung you a lot of strenght and all my respect💪🏻
Ive struggled with food all my life , ive never been diagnosed offically with anorexia but am sure i did have it, i felt worthless and out of control if i gained any weight at all hated myself and felt people wont like me if i have a few extra pounds on me, that was all until i got cancer a few years ago then i dropped to a very low weight and was very ill, when i recovered from my cancer it brought a new prospective to my life , i was now fighting to survive , over the last 2 years ive gained an appetite again and have gained weight although i cant say i love it but im also so greatful to be alive so i can accept it more. I think you will too as scary as it is, think of the wonderful life you have in front of you and all the things you can do when your well again, btw you look great and you can do this , and you have a lot of support behind you ☺
You’re truly amazing! Fear is understandable completely and there will be hurdles along the way, this journey will be challenging but we all believe in you and you can do this to save your life. Sending so much love and big hugs x
Hi, first time responding, 1. I see the beauty in you. 2. I feel as if when you do a video, you are able to talk through so much of your fears and troubles as a medicine. You are strong regardless how hard your challenges are. I'm uplifted by you as I'm able to recognize you, in me. My eating disorder has taken so much from me, and this year I'll be 60. 60 years of the same struggles, some times I'm balanced, but mostly I'm not, and I lose the battle, the disorder takes over and I found myself in repeat. Feeling like a stupid fool for not taking charge. Esh... thanks for the chats, I wish you health and wellness, and being whole within. ❤️
I came across one of your videos a while and I've come back to check on you and I have never wanted someone so much to get help and I am so happy for you. We all know you want this and we know you can do this! I wish you the best of luck and never look back ❤
Yes,recovery from any disorder or addiction be it emotional,mental or physical Yes,the road is long and rocky but you are ready to fight Keep your courage and spirit high Living is for the healed and you are ready to join the World Yes,your face is filling out beautifully Warm Hugs
Prayer brings so much comfort, to know that you are being held in the Lord's hands. I know it is so difficult to control fear, but I always try to because I get mad at myself for letting myself become so upset, when most of the time the things we fear turn out to not be anywhere near as difficult as we think, or maybe not at all, and then we have spent time agonizing and being miserable over something that doesn't even happen.The Lord tells us he will carry us through.Footprints in the sand is such a beautiful poem if you haven't read it! Leona Lewis made a song by the same name that I think is lovely. I have been trying so much to leave it with the Lord,and remember all that he has done for me in the past when I was afraid, and how things have worked out before in my life. Prayers for you dear
I have a lot of struggles as well and the fear can be crippling. The way I have been sitting in my discomfort is by praying the serenity prayer over and over but also acknowledging my emotions and reminding myself that feelings are like waves, they’ll eventually settle. It’s not easy. I have bad thoughts sometimes but I know that’s the devil trying to take me down so I pray more. I try to find positive things to watch or listen to to help. Hang in there. You’re not alone. We are here
You are looking better. I'm reaching through internet and giving you a big hug. You aren't alone we are all here for you. YOUVE FOT THIS!!!! Continual prayers for you. God bless you my friend.
Oh Lique it’s so hard to see you struggle, your beautiful tears! You are not alone sweetie, God is with you, lean into Him, for such a time as this, you are her!!! . He says, do not be afraid, I will never leave you. He won’t sweetheart, He won’t, please, I know you are afraid, it our God is not a God of timidity, and you are stronger than you think. You e been through so much! I’ve just recently read a book by Elisabeth Elliot, “suffering is not for nothing” an amazing book. She was a missionary, and her story is beyond incredible, as is yours! Stay strong beautiful child of God, He’s got you!!! All these miracles!!✝️💟🙏🏻
It's so good to see you.i understand your fears it guess it's like any recovery.but you need to do it to survive..and you will survive and things will be better.surrender yourself.and honestly you do look a little better..i can see it in your face:) think positive..i trust you can do this!
Oh, Lique, this is so exciting! 🥰🙏🏼 You have fought hard and long, and it's so scary, and those feelings are so valid and it's okay to feel them. But it's also okay to let yourself be hopeful and excited! This may be very good news, even if it means there will be hard work ahead. It's okay to be realistic and scared, but it's also okay to let yourself be excited and happy and hopeful! 😊 I am hoping and praying with you, that you'll continue to improve and God will walk with you through it all! 💕🙏🏼
This is a very insightful video, even for those who do not suffer from an ED, so thanks for sharing. I hope that you can find that hospital bed. I just LOVE this quote of the day! We are here with you and sending you a big virtual hug. 🥰
Sweetheart I understand you, I understand the discomfort. There isn't much to do about it then to sit that threw. Keep your goals clear. Stay strong, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. I am so proud to see that you already have recovered somewhat on your own. Going to treatment and giving the control to others is so scary. But that is just how it feels. You are actually regaining your control back again. You will be in control of your life again when you are recovered and the eating disorder is not what your life is about anymore. You are going to take back what is yours, your life. You will inspire so many others when you are recoverd, I know that for sure. I'm praying for the day that I see you, healthy and happy and making video's about your recovery and a healthy lifestyle. You have come so far dear Angelique. So far. You will rock this ❤️
Hello Lique! Just found your channel and subscribed. You are such a sweetheart, so articulate and beautiful. I deeply admire your honesty - you are a brave warrior! I wish you all the best and I'm praying for your strength and courage during these difficult times. Love to you from the US! ❤❤❤
Darling girl you are actually doing very well ! Don’t ever ever give up dear ! You got this ! When you are feeling anxious just leave everything in God’s Healing Hands 🙌. God Bless You 🙏
Sending you love and comfort! ❤️ Your body will be your guide throughout this process, it knows what it needs. Your mind and spirit will follow, and all they need is distraction and comfort while your body heals itself. It is so hard to let go of control but faith in the process will get you through it. The specifics will iron themselves out. You have great coping strategies already and I'm sure you will be able to cope with what comes your way. You are allowed to feel fear and to feel out of control in this moment. Change is so scary. Be proud in the fact that you reached out instead of giving in to the ED. ❤️
I hope you’re proud of yourself; I definitely am. You’re very strong and I’m glad you are sharing your journey instead of keeping it all to yourself. When I was in my teens, I had to go to another state(in the US) to an inpatient psychiatric facility, and it was terrifying to me. Now when I look back on it, I’m glad I did it and I can see how it helped me. I was a minor so I didn’t have a choice, but now as an adult I wouldn’t have changed the idea to go even if I had the choice. And if I could, I would give you a hug. 😊
I understand how scared you are but you’ve got this, I’m sure of it. You want to recover and being in the hospital can make that happen safely. You know what the process is and you know it is possible to fully recover. I am praying for you that you get admitted into this hospital program and that the staff are people who do their job well and are compassionate and understanding. You have been doing well at getting your body ready for treatment and I believe it helps that you are so smart and insightful. Best of luck.
I'm so proud of you and so happy to know you'll be going to a hospital!!! We can do this! You're not alone 💜 You're so smart, eloquent and enlightened. I'm sure you'll keep doing your best. This disease is awful, but recovery is possible. I myself am a recovered anorexic. Anyone that has gone through this terrible thing and recovery knows just how hard it is. But I've never met someone that regretted recovering from anorexia. It's really hard, but you can do it. And you will 💜
Honey, you are SO brave! I understand the panicky feeling and can empathize. Just remember that everything happens for a reason. I believe this channel is part of your soul's purpose. Just trust the process.🙏🙏💕💕☮☮☮
I truly hope you get well and wish you happiness in life, you seem like such a lovely person. I have never dealt with anorexia myself but my friend suffered from it (she is much better these days). There aren't any magic words but it is easy to see you are a fighter and I believe in you and you can get through this🌷
I Will definitely save this video. You are such an intelligent and counsious woman. This video is not only helpfull for you... There are so many beautyful messages in it. I think you would make an awesome motivational speaker or coach in the future... Just by being you! You made me think about how I sit with my fears and yes there is no recovery without recovering. Please hold on, share your video's and make sure you recover. Keep praying, if that's what is giving you strength... He Will hear you and He Will watch over you... Don't let fear hold you back... You are needed on this earth... Sending you a big hug and I Will keep following your vlogs.
So so proud of you. Every day that you take care of yourself you get another day to live and see the beauty of the world. Keep going, keep getting healthy and stronger. So excited for you and your recovery. You can do this. You can do this. Much love.
Oh sweetie I just want to reach out and give you a huge hug. Recovery is so scary but staying where you are is worse. We are here for you. God is faithful and His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness. When you are scared lean on God and may His love for you give you peace. You can do this Angelique, you are stronger than you know. Don't allow the lies to rob you of a recovered life. Will be praying for you. xx
I worked at a prison for many years. We were taught if we were ever taken hostage we are taught to become a hostage and not be the officer in charge. You need to let yourself become the patient and let doctors have control of your heath and mental health.
It's normal to be anxious about it. I so hope you get the hospital bed. When I was in the hospital I made a friend that was anorexic and she didn't eat nothing but an apple and she gave away her breakfast, lunch & dinner tray. It was so sad. She wasn't ready to recover 😥 I think about her often. She was a professor and declined with her illness and had to quit. I hope you eat your breakfast, lunch & dinner 🍽 & snacks so you can live your better life that awaits you. Hugs 🫂 and continued prayers for you 🙏🏻 ❤️
Thank you Margo! And I chose this treatment voluntarily and am VERY motivated… so I will certainly eat all they will give me (though with fear 🥴
I’m so happy that you will be going to a hospital. Don’t let fear rob you of getting better. You deserve this chance. You are a beautiful person and I’m sure you are helping so many by sharing your story. When you are scared just remember all of your TH-cam friends that are praying for you. Sending all of my love, prayers and strength to you. NEVER GIVE UP ❤️🙏❤️🙏
Thanks Julie! 🙏🏻💖
@@liquefaith 🥰🥰
You’re an intelligent woman who’s great at expressing yourself. The unknown is always scary. Please know that feeling will pass quickly once you’re in the hospital and recovery begins.
❤️
@@liquefaith Hello L.F ive been in the same boat But, managed to fix it.I recognize the real hunger and the one that is not real bad .If you like too we can do skype and i promise you wont feel alone.Your a beautiful girl and 2 days ago , funny i saw your future.I saw you with a smart peofessional clothing and you had hanging a UD card and you had some keys and you had the. most beautiful smile matching your twinkle eyes.I saw you are much needed and soooo appreciated.My Great Grandfather is from Nederland and other side Norse.I can come sometime and visit you and a little support.I work a little in the the health sector.Just want you to know you are special and God has a plan for you.Take care Kristine
@@krisdan76 that is soooo sweet of you… thank you dear! 💖
@@liquefaith Hey Angelique, I hope you are feeling a bit better? I just wanted to send you a message too, that contains some encouragement and support... Of course you are going to feel terrified of the big changes of routine that going into hospital entails. It's unknown and hugely different to your daily life at the moment, so it's only natural to feel scared, but this will pass as soon as you're there and settled in after a day or so. As for the fear after eating/of eating and anything to do with food, what I did that worked for me, was when the fear hit, I sat and thought and often wrote about why I wanted this (recovery) in the first place and what were the things I wanted to achieve by being recovered. So for me, I wanted to take up my career as a professional dancer again, which was impossible in the starved state I was in, as I had no strength and I focused on that goal throughout every mealtime and after meals when that evil anorexic voice gets a hold of you. Every week that passes this will
become easier and easier, until soon you don't think about the fear at all! So for you, maybe focus on all the things you have told us about that you want to do to help others after you're recovered and also getting better so we can all meet for that conference weekend you were telling us about also!! I know you can do this Lique, you have more than enough strength and courage to overcome this, I promise you that! Sending you lots of love and hugs always 💖💖💖
Edit: I also started to do colouring books and knitting and crosswords etc. As they keep the brain and the hands completely distracted from thinking about anything else, these are great for when you're feeling anxious too and are tools I still use today for when I am fretting about stuff xx 💖
About the fear thing.... my therapist said (and this worked for me) that when you are creating a fear-scenario in your head, you shouldn't stop at the worst point. Instead you should continue the story. For example, when you think: When I eat more of this, I will lose conrol - then I will eat more and more - then I will binge - don't stop here, but continue with: then I will feel uncomfortable for a bit, but then I will get sleep, I will wake up and feel better ......
This helped me a lot with my anxiety disorder and continues helping me until today, when I'm afraid of something. Bad thing may happen, but it is not the end of the world. 💛
Recovering from anorexia was the hardest thing I ever did, but I did it. I remember finally getting to the point where I decided I was going to feel the fear of going into recovery, but do it anyway. The fear lasted for weeks but as I kept sitting in fear and doing the things I needed to do to get well again, it started becoming less and less. It felt like a blessing when I finally recovered and my mind wasn’t only consumed with the idea of food. It got easier and easier to ignore the voice of anorexia. If a hospital bed is available to you, that’s a blessing. Please go. You may want to make excuses as to why you shouldn’t go because the fear will be telling you not to. Please feel the fear and go anyway. I promise you the fear will not last forever and life on the other side of an eating disorder is so much better than living with one. I’m looking forward to hearing about your healing journey. I know you will be a great inspiration to many. Lots of love to you 🌼💜💜💜
Thank you so much for sharing this! Really helpful… 👍🏻🙏🏻💖
So happy and joyful for you!❤
Going through treatment and refeeding is terrifying but so is being so unwell like you are and so close to death. The anxiety is the eating disorder and not the real Angelique who wants recovery and wants help. See treatment as help. Take it one day at a time, one step at a time and keep in mind the bigger picture. Being free and happy, having strength to enjoy the life your have been blessed with 🙏✨🌈 you can do this. You're a strong person with a lot of experience and knowledge. You know the process and what to expect so it's about accepting it and finding ways to cope with it. We are all here for you for support❤️❤️❤️ keep sharing your fears xx
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you weren’t trying to lose weight… that you were focusing on self care. If you focus on self care, nourishing yourself with food, drink, love (for yourself), and happiness then weight and other things fall into place. You’ll get through this. Hang in there lovely lady. ❤
You expressed precisely how I have felt much too often recently Lique...I don't wish this on anybody but it is nice to know I am not alone...I am 72 years old and there are days I just cry for my mother...The comfort and love I am missing - as are you - I find in God now....My constant faithful companion and the honest men , christians and women like yourself who are not too proud to admit their vulnerabilities and susceptibilities in this day we live in...Be strong and of good courage - help is not only on the way - He is at the door...God bless all saints in Jesus name...Amen
So true, the closer your relationship to Jesus the more love and confidence we experience.
I am almost 72 myself and need that relationship to keep going.
Amen
@@sylviamyne5627 He knows individually what each of us is going through... and will never forsake us nor lie to us which is why he didn't say it would be easy...He won't give any of us more than he/she can bear which gives me the assurance that I/WE WILL pass this test just as Just Job did.....I love you all - Till we meet soon and very soon saints...God bless and continue to keep a hedge of protection you
Oh amen , I feel the same, the closer I grow to Jesus, the more confidence I have in Him!!!❤️🙏🏻That is a miracle Lique, your weight gain. Yes, keep yourself aware, when you are hungry, and can feel that, and you eat to a satiated state, it is a victory every time!! I’m glad your intestines are doing better!! Thank God, you’re in my prayers sweetie!!!😘
Hey Angelique 😊 Wow, it's so clear to me that you have started your recovery journey all by yourself! How incredibly brave! Go you 🥰 The progress you are making is every bit as good or better than what you would have made in a highly organized hospital environment. You're doing it! Your explanation on hunger and satiety was so helpful. Thank you for sharing x
Big big big hugs sweet girl! We are all behind you! You can do this! People say one day at a time but at times things are so difficult all you can do is one hour at a time.. 10 minutes at a time. Prayers things will change for the better and you will have the strength to reach the top!❤️🙏❤️
Thank you so much… 🙏🏻💖
You look so beautiful!!! You are glowing here 💗🥰 I have been following you since the first video as I too have been struggling with an ED a big part of my life. We can do it, good luck 💪
You are not alone, we are all here for you and rooting for you! I'm giving you a big hug through the internet ❤
Thanks… 💖
I wish I could hug you. That feeling you have of being alone and scared is such a hard place to be. The discomfort of moving through recovery and refeeding is so hard and feels intolerable, but it so worth it to be on the other side. I repeated to myself, "no one ever died from anxiety and feeling discomfort" when I went through my last round of refeeding. It helped me to know as HORRIBLE as I felt, I was in the care of medical professionals and they would be sure I made it through refeeding safely. The only danger was the eating disorder and going back to it. More comfortable, for sure, but also that comfort meant lonliness, isolation, pain, and, eventually, me leaving the world before giving back. You are not alone in this, many people have travelled this path and when you commit to getting to the other side, you can be who you needed in this space for someone else (if you want to!). Sending love from New Hampshire (United States).
Thank you so much for sharing this… is really helpful! 🙏🏻💖
God Bless your special journey now. You will do this .When there is light from second to second there too you have conquored the darkness The pain uncertainty and pain. Your never alone. We are all here for you. God is real and speaks through people too. You are brave. You are wise. You are strong. Love your quote today. Being yourself.
@@liquefaith Sending you all of the love!
@@elizabethobrien5152 thank you dear! 🙏🏻💖
Don’t be scared , God will be with you and you’re Guardian Angel will be watching over you !
Prayers for you , may Jesus be with Angelique. Amen
That is a beautiful quote !
You’re not binging you are just eating normally like everyone else 💕
Ur looking so much better than the last video I’ve seen 🙌🏼
I hope you see this somehow, even though I'm a few days late in seeing this. Our mind is bad at painting a vision of how things will be for us. It floods every scrap of the canvas with fear. Recovery is just like going somewhere new; before we get there, we can't imagine how it will be (only that it will be scary) and we can't imagine how/who WE will be in this new place either. It feels like losing control which is scary! Especially since eating disorders are a coping mechanism/way to control things about our experience that have hurt us. BUT, I have learned that just like getting used to a beautiful new place, new views, new things to do and see, recovery itself stops being the scary "road to get there" and becomes a new comfortable place to be. Instead of the old control ways, healthier ways to respond and feel start to grow. As someone who did get hungry after being malnourished (and not hungry for a really long time) and was scared of binges it was a little scary but as the body gets more in balance and healing occurs, the signals your body sends you (and how you feel about them) will change and get better.
I love the quote of the day! You're right, I always think people are more beautiful when they describe their hurts, mistakes or pains- but it's harder to see myself that way. Any time you are scared just think I'm sending you a BIG HUG!!! Thinking of you and sending lots of love💓💓💓🤗
You may tell yourself one thing: Your emotions do not define you. They will pass and new emotions will come up. Discomfort, too, is a temporary thing. It will pass. You „just“ have to get through this. One step at a time. I hope you’ll find the support you need at the hospital!
Honestly, it’s okay to eat for emotional reasons at times. Your body is in a deficit and that makes it very difficult to regulate emotions. Keep feeding it adequately and consistently, and the emotional regulation will develop. You sound so much more clear and focused today, even with the immense fear you’re experiencing… keep going, my friend. I know you can do this! I promise that doing the recovery work is worth it.❤
We are here to support you. You do look as if you have put on a little weight. Plan your week day by day. Do things a little at a time not to stress yourself out. Happy to hear you will be going to hospital. Make sure you get outside for walks & sun. It does improves mood. Are you able to contact family to let them know how you are doing & progress you have made. Keep in contact with friends that are supportive. Bless You.
You have to push through it, you’re getting out of habits and patterns established for years, the road is tough but you’re tougher ❤
Yes… ❤️
I'm so glad you've got a bed in hospital! I know you must be terrified and I know that feeling all too well from the times I went to hospital for my depression. The one thing that got me there and through the fear was knowing I would get the help I needed and that I would feel better. So it may be uncomfortable to begin with, but try stay focused on the outcome and recovering, because you can do it! Sending lots of love xxx 💗🌻🌺
The journey through recovery is scary because it requires a completely different mindset than you’ve had in the past. But when you are on the other side and recovered and looking back it will be soooooo worth it!!! ♥️
My dear Angelique it is so brave of you to reach out during this time. You are facing something right now that is not only difficult but terrifying. I am not speaking of the hospital stay nor the refeeding. I understand that it is so much deeper than this. Your recovery requires you to face the issues that you have been numbing with your E.D. You will find peace in understanding that nothing has been your fault. You will heal in your forgiveness of other's. Your apetite increasing is a blessing. Your body needs this nourishment and you deserve the freedom of recovery. God is with you and he has his angels with you as well. Remember that fear is something that can only stop us if we allow it to. I pray for you every day when I take my walks and talk to God. I want to remind you that you are not alone. You are loved and thought of often. What really stands out to me in this video are your eyes. They are so blue and they are bright and sparkling. You are absolutely blooming into the beautiful woman that you always were but held back by a cruel disease. I want to help you plan that convention you mentioned before. We all need something fun to look forward to. Hugs n love as always....
Thank you so much Renae! And you are so wise… love you to join me organize the event in the near future 🥰
The world lost a gem when Lique passed.
You may be freaking out but you look more and more alive every single video. Don’t let that feeling of lack of control at the hospital scare you so much. You’ll be amazing there. It’s a true blessing, god is with you. That quote was beautiful and so meaningful, I love it!!! I think and pray for you all the time. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much Linzie! 🙏🏻💖
You look so much better!! You are smiling and I can see and hear happiness from you. Being scared of the unknown is normal. Our bodies are God given and our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Nourish your mind and heart with God's Word and nourish your body in His name when you eat food!! God has a purpose for you.
I've suffered from anorexia since when I was around 10 years old. It was atypical because I was not afraid of gaining weight, but rather, I have a phobia of throwing up. I figured that the less I ate, the less likely I would be to ever throw up. I am in my mid-thirties now, so back in the mid-nineties, there was not a lot of understanding surrounding the type of anorexia that I had, and most doctors had no idea of how to treat it. I had to tackle my phobia in order to overcome to eating disorder. The phobia still exists, but I have become able to manage it and I no longer fear eating food from it. I LOOOVE food actually!! Something that really helped me back then, was setting goals for myself. All of the things that I was unable to do due to my illness, I would write down and make note of and make it my goal to get better and to do those activities again. Recovery is painful and difficult, but nowhere near as painful as being stuck in the disordered thinking and habits. You have nothing to lose in seeking recovery and actually, everything to gain! There will also be people there who are suffering like you are, and I hope you are able to get a bed and are able to form bonds with other like-minded individuals who are actively seeking to improve their own lives. Fear is so incredibly natural, but please don't let it consume you. Let it flow over and through you like a wave of water. It is only temporary. I wish you all the best and am rooting for you!
Hi Angelique. I am a recovered anorexic, and I greatly appreciate your descriptions of all the consuming fears and emotions that one experiences daily. This disorder quite literally changes your brain chemistry, and you don't notice that the monster taking over is not YOU. Something that helped me so much was learning how to separate myself from that evil voice. In recovery, the chemicals in your body and brain begin to regulate, and you suddenly find that recovery is not so scary as that voice once told you. The initial push is the hardest part. After that, you become more rational... everything becomes exponentially more simple, I PROMISE! Also, please know that your worth is not based on this life's struggles. As human beings, we find ourselves worthless, but our great Heavenly Savior sees you so worthy and precious as to lay His life down for your sake. Blessings!!!
Thank you for this beautiful comment Miranda! Really helpful… 🙏🏻💖
This is a great comment 💓
I wish it had become easier for me but it never did no matter what weight I reached and no matter how long I kept weight on. I guess this doesn't work for everybody but well done to you! xoxox
@@ababy6074 I struggle everyday too. Don't know if this ever goes away. I had an ED for 26 yearsz 1year in recovery now.
Don't know if 100% recovery is even possible, but I'm very grateful for my progress.
@@marjol3in As you should be babe!
You are the most beautiful soul. I have been following you for years and there was a time that you looked like death was at your door..You are a true fighter and I love how well you can articulate your thoughts and feelings. It is obvious that God is working within you. It is a miracle to see you starting to look alive and vibrant. You have so many cheering you on and praying for you. I can't fully understand how you are feeling but eventually you are going to feel so much stronger. Once you are healed you will be able to educate so many of us on this horrible disease\addiction. I will continue to pray that everything will work it's way through and I pray that one day soon you will look back and be so proud of how much you have healed. Love you!!! HUGSl!!!
So good to see you again, Lique! Change is always a pain, even if we are fighting fiercely to attain it. You're gaining!!! That's so exciting, so encouraging. If I can act while holding myself in my higher self, it works. I'm not always capable of doing that. I can operate on behalf of others while forgetting to feed myself, sometimes. You get to be my role model, now. I need to remember more often, and follow through more than a few bites at a time. My friend I hadn't seen for several days came by, and said I looked like I had lost weight. HUGS AND LOVE TO YOU, Lique!!!
💖
💛💛💛 you are brave. You are capable and you are strong. You can do this 🙏. Never let fear hold you back and rob you of a healthier futur. Sending you the biggest hug ever 🥰
Really appreciate that you chose to upload a video instead of doing something harmful to yourself. It's really important to have healthier outlets, and even more, I'm happy that you trust us enough to talk about your hard times in such a vulnerable moment! It is totally okay and normal to feel scared! Take things one step at a time, breathe, the treatment is meant to help you, it might be scary and hurt a bit but it's for a greater good. I'll always be rooting for you. I'm proud of you, always.
Thank you so much dear! 🙏🏻💖
After you described giving yourself a hug when you need one, I tried it myself and it helped! Thanks for the tip. I wish we could all be there in person with you as you embark on this next part of recovery. Glad that we can be here with you in spirit at least, rooting you on! Proud of you! The world has been a scary place lately in so many ways, so THANK YOU for opening your arms up to us all and paving the way for connection. You make the world a more authentic and welcoming place 💓
That is so sweet of you to say! And you are more than welcome… giving you a big hug back dear! ❤️
You're such a strong woman!😘It is going to be scary, but that's okay! Try to do the things you love the most when you're scared. Like meditation or listening to some music. We are here for you!🥰
Thank you Amy! 🙏🏻💖
Big hugs from Canada. Don’t think too far ahead. Live minute by minute if you have to. You’re helping so many others with your honesty, positivity and gratefulness. As we say in my 12 step program…It works if you work it, keep working, you’re worth it. ❤
I totally understand everything you’ve talked about. The fear of not being able to stop eating is a huge fear of mine. I don’t feel when I’m hungry, I have to just eat at the times I’m supposed to. The panic I feel if I think I’ve eaten too much is horrible. Keep reaching out through videos. I don’t feel so alone watching your videos. Thank you.
@Lique, you are a fighter and a warrior and a SURVIVOR! God has created you to be a VICTOR and I have faith that you will overcome in time. ❤
You look wonderful-- I can see the efforts of your recovery in your face. Walk (roll?) by FAITH, dear one, not by sight. God will provide and guide you. You are surrounded by so many of us around the world who are cheering for you and praying for your strength and recovery. We believe in you, we love you, and we lend you our strength.
Remember, faith the size of a mustard seed! That's all you need and you can move mountains!
Sending hugsfrom Detroit, Michigan, USA. One day at a time. One breath, one heartbeat, one moment. You've got this! Xoxo
Soooo sweet of you… thank you so much dear! 🙏🏻💖
That quote you read is perfect. Be you. You are beautifully human. Healing is a dynamic journey. Thank you for sharing yours with us. Just keep swimming. You're doing great. 💓
YOU LEGEND! Today you made a good choice for yourself. You chose strength 💪 Keep going!
Thanks dear! 😘
Angelique with the pretty eyes, there's a saying .. it's always darker before the dawn...I know the fear you feel but I also know you can do this because you want to be well and get on with your life, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for big, big, big hugs ...Mary 🇨🇦💜💜🦋
Thank you Mary… 🙏🏻💖
As a former anorexic, you can do this! You are helping yourself and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s not easy- it’s so difficult- but I’m here to tell you that it can be overcome. 💗💗💗
You look so beautiful. I have anorexia as well and anxiety is always present 100 percent. I know exactly what you are talking about regarding fear. You are not alone. I love you and pray for you daily. ❤️
Thank you so much Janice! Am rooting for you too sweetheart 💖🙏🏻
Lique, I know recovery is so scary and hospital is terrifying, but it is truly less terrifying than never getting better and giving in to this disease. You are stronger than this terrible illness. Little by little, you can. You can. ❤
you are so rational while still having ED thoughts, youre such a strong person, im so proud! keep going ❤️🧡
I hope you get the bed, and I’m glad to see your weight gain. ❤
❤️
My dear Lique, you are a precious gem. Your self-awareness is wonderful to witness. You have a good handle on your issues, even when things get difficult. I just know that all will be well for you in the end. You're doing great!
Please keep us informed. We truly care deeply about you ❤
Do it! Just do it!!! Dont let yourself be down by outside circumtances. The world and people will never be perfect but its ok. You are also ok and worth winning this fight 👌. Believe 🙏and work👍👍👍on yourself🙌.
Dear Angelique, I don't know why, but I feel a bond between me and you. You are going through alot, just like me, but in completely different ways. All I want to tell you is, that I was giving you a hug in my mind, holding you tight when you so much needed it. I am here checking on you everytime, wishing you the strength, faith and patience to go through this. God has a plan for us and all we need to do is ask him for our heart desire. You will make it out of this! Sending lots of love and big hugs to you from Germany.
That feeling that you are not in control..you are and you're doing it right! No purging! I really don't think you could lose control and eat and eat.listen to your body like you are.youre changing your thinking like you need to.i have so much faith in you.do what you need to distract yourself from panicking( which is what I think you are doing) you're going to be fine..youre going to get better!
We’re all here for you ❤ by the way you’re starting to look like you’re recovering little by little 🥰
💖
I agree. I look back at the videos from 4-5 months ago and you can see the change in her face. Cheeks are filling out more and there is different color. Her face looks glowing. She looks so much healthier even though there is still a long way to go. It’s rewarding to see progress.
Huge difference from the first video until now and I can’t wait to see her improve even more. She is such a survivor.
I hope all the well wishes, love and good intentions we send her make a difference and she finally gets into the hospital that’ll be able to really help her.
please don't comment on someone's appearance, particularly when they're dealing with severe anorexia. telling someone they look healthy/commenting on weight/shape is a significant, significant trigger no matter how positive you mean it.
@@eloiselogue Did you even watch the video? Lique addressed comments like this (I made mine before I finished watching) and she said she is gaining weight and does look healthier and that she’s happy about it. Yes, what I said would trigger most anorexics, but Lique is quite different.
Ja, je ziet er in je gezicht echt een stuk ‘gezonder’ uit. Stukje bij beetje komt de ‘oude’ Angelique weer terug. Houd vol! ❤
yes it is very powerful the Fear especially when there seems very few options available except for a refeeding regime which must shake you to the core. I dont have an ED but I can relate when I first had to go into emergency detox for alcoholism. I remember getting a bottle of alcohol on my way there. and for the first 2 weeks I couldn't sleep and just walked the corridors in a state of extreme anxiety. Sometimes ones higher power isn't a spiritual concept but a medical intervention. I am sober now for a number of years and attend meetings so I did want to share that in that time my higher power were the caregivers in the facility even though I couldn't see that at the time. thankyou for expressing your deep feelings and anxiety
When a toddler attempts to walk for the first few times, he may fall most of those times..but innately knows this he must keep trying with..he doesn't stop to judge his experience as good/bad, right/wrong..but just just pursues it as a necessary learning experience..gaining control of our minds I believe, is the only way to finally cease fear. Being patient, compassionate, forgiving to our " falls" along the way, and just accepting and allowing what God brings us without judging it gives true peace of mind..this is how I manage my mind lovely friend 💓
I give you a hug 🤗 all the way from Namibia 🇳🇦 . You make me smile always.
So sweet of you! 🙏🏻💖
I can totally understand the freaking-out feeling . Now ...hopfully you pulled yourself together again to continue your journey 💕 It's always comforting having someone holding our hand while going through hard times but often we have to hold our hands ourself . Perhaps that's how we began to pray ? Immagine my hand for you however . It's there . For your question on how to deal with the overwhelming feelings bringing you to over-eat I have a coupple of suggestions ; I've learned one of the most wonderful calming-instruments in the world ( beside a hot bath or going for walks in the nature ) is just making your self cosy and comfortable and start off any amount of documentaries on nature and the animal-world you need to start feeling relaxed , calmed down , amazed about our world and captured by the miracle we are part of ....this will give you all the distanse and time necessary to think of any kind of " craving " of food you might have and to focus on what treat you desire to give your self . Sweet ? Salt ? Fat ? Carbs ? When you have cleared out the true feeling of what you want and you are in that calm state of mood in which nature-documentaries eventually will bring you ( you can calm down over excited children the same way ) the impulsive-eating is not an option anymore and you will probably be able to eat your treat and feel happy about it without overdoing it ......much love 💕
Oh honey - we all have to love ourselves. I struggle with this every day. You are a beautiful soul. So brave, so truthful. I lost both my adult children this year and everything broke wide open. Thank you for your vulnerability and your wisdom. ❤
Lique your a beautiful lady and your going to be fine gods going to take care of you love you hang in there love from Georgia ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏
You are so knowledgeable, don't EVER doubt yourself!! I believe you will find the answers exactly when and as you need them. The hunger stops when your body gets the nutrients it needs sweetheart. I remember my recovery from near death slowly becoming so enjoyable in that I finally let myself enjoy the flavors of food. The more good fats and high quality animal products I ate, my brain recovered and I started to see myself as beautiful, in the correct perspective. It's hard to put into words, but I learnt to love myself and nourish the hurt girl inside back to life. I know everyone has a different journey and mine is unique, just as yours is your own amazing journey and testimony that IS transformative! You are so strong and beautiful! A true warrior and legend. All my LOVE
Ps. My title is new and about a true crime case I'm following lol. Just in case
Thanks for sharing this dear! 🙏🏻💖
is your family there for you ? I wish all 12.5 thousand of all of us your supporters could come knocking on your door & give you the biggest hug. Just know even though we cannot be there in real time we are there for you ever step of the way! Love & hugs Judy from the states Pennsylvania
Thank you so much Judy! ❤️❤️
You’re a strong willed woman, and that determination will get you through this. And you WILL get through this. 🤗🇬🇧
You already look so much healthier: skin has some softness to it; eyes are brighter; and even your hair looks healthier. You are doing so well hon and it's natural to be so anxious about it.
Isaiah 41:10
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand❤❤❤
You are soooo courageous for sitting with the discomfort! Because exactly that is the point where things change and improve, and so many go into denial at that point and wont face the Terror. What a role Model you are💕💕💕
its amazing how you differentiated your talk about your feelings. i guess its pretty rate, since its such a difficult thing to do and even more so with this illness.
you amaze me every time angelique, keep fighting, i m rooting for you.
sendung you a lot of strenght and all my respect💪🏻
Thank you Kana! 🙏🏻😘
Ive struggled with food all my life , ive never been diagnosed offically with anorexia but am sure i did have it, i felt worthless and out of control if i gained any weight at all hated myself and felt people wont like me if i have a few extra pounds on me, that was all until i got cancer a few years ago then i dropped to a very low weight and was very ill, when i recovered from my cancer it brought a new prospective to my life , i was now fighting to survive , over the last 2 years ive gained an appetite again and have gained weight although i cant say i love it but im also so greatful to be alive so i can accept it more. I think you will too as scary as it is, think of the wonderful life you have in front of you and all the things you can do when your well again, btw you look great and you can do this , and you have a lot of support behind you ☺
You’re truly amazing! Fear is understandable completely and there will be hurdles along the way, this journey will be challenging but we all believe in you and you can do this to save your life. Sending so much love and big hugs x
I think the fear will pass once you get settled in....girl we be here with you !
Hickabilly, Tennessee here 👍😎😍🙌 hugs n 💘love
Thank you Donna! 🙏🏻💖
Hi, first time responding, 1. I see the beauty in you. 2. I feel as if when you do a video, you are able to talk through so much of your fears and troubles as a medicine. You are strong regardless how hard your challenges are. I'm uplifted by you as I'm able to recognize you, in me. My eating disorder has taken so much from me, and this year I'll be 60. 60 years of the same struggles, some times I'm balanced, but mostly I'm not, and I lose the battle, the disorder takes over and I found myself in repeat. Feeling like a stupid fool for not taking charge. Esh... thanks for the chats, I wish you health and wellness, and being whole within. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this dear! Happy to have you here… 😘
I came across one of your videos a while and I've come back to check on you and I have never wanted someone so much to get help and I am so happy for you. We all know you want this and we know you can do this! I wish you the best of luck and never look back ❤
Thank you Amanda…🙏🏻💖
You are worthy of every inch of love and prayers that are sent your way, please keep faith that you will be healed . Blessings from Ireland
Yes,recovery from any disorder or addiction be it emotional,mental or physical
Yes,the road is long and rocky but you are ready to fight
Keep your courage and spirit high
Living is for the healed and you are ready to join the World
Yes,your face is filling out beautifully
Warm Hugs
Prayer brings so much comfort, to know that you are being held in the Lord's hands. I know it is so difficult to control fear, but I always try to because I get mad at myself for letting myself become so upset, when most of the time the things we fear turn out to not be anywhere near as difficult as we think, or maybe not at all, and then we have spent time agonizing and being miserable over something that doesn't even happen.The Lord tells us he will carry us through.Footprints in the sand is such a beautiful poem if you haven't read it! Leona Lewis made a song by the same name that I think is lovely. I have been trying so much to leave it with the Lord,and remember all that he has done for me in the past when I was afraid, and how things have worked out before in my life. Prayers for you dear
Have you read 2 corinthiens 1:3,4 and verses 6,7. ? If not I'm sure you will find confort in these verses
Totally know the footprint poem and love it… very true indeed! 🙏🏻💖
I have a lot of struggles as well and the fear can be crippling. The way I have been sitting in my discomfort is by praying the serenity prayer over and over but also acknowledging my emotions and reminding myself that feelings are like waves, they’ll eventually settle. It’s not easy. I have bad thoughts sometimes but I know that’s the devil trying to take me down so I pray more. I try to find positive things to watch or listen to to help. Hang in there. You’re not alone. We are here
Thank you so much for your encouragement dear! And I LOVE the serenity prayer too… 🙏🏻💖
O lovely don't be so scared Belive me your already looking so much better.
Life is a journey you will be fine xxx
Sending huge hugs xxx
You are looking better. I'm reaching through internet and giving you a big hug. You aren't alone we are all here for you. YOUVE FOT THIS!!!! Continual prayers for you. God bless you my friend.
Oh Lique it’s so hard to see you struggle, your beautiful tears! You are not alone sweetie, God is with you, lean into Him, for such a time as this, you are her!!! . He says, do not be afraid, I will never leave you. He won’t sweetheart, He won’t, please, I know you are afraid, it our God is not a God of timidity, and you are stronger than you think. You e been through so much! I’ve just recently read a book by Elisabeth Elliot, “suffering is not for nothing” an amazing book. She was a missionary, and her story is beyond incredible, as is yours! Stay strong beautiful child of God, He’s got you!!! All these miracles!!✝️💟🙏🏻
You will be fine. Everything’s gonna be alright. ✨💪 and don’t forget to smile every day😁
🙃
It's so good to see you.i understand your fears it guess it's like any recovery.but you need to do it to survive..and you will survive and things will be better.surrender yourself.and honestly you do look a little better..i can see it in your face:) think positive..i trust you can do this!
❤️
Oh, Lique, this is so exciting! 🥰🙏🏼 You have fought hard and long, and it's so scary, and those feelings are so valid and it's okay to feel them. But it's also okay to let yourself be hopeful and excited! This may be very good news, even if it means there will be hard work ahead. It's okay to be realistic and scared, but it's also okay to let yourself be excited and happy and hopeful! 😊
I am hoping and praying with you, that you'll continue to improve and God will walk with you through it all! 💕🙏🏼
Thank you Emilie! 🙏🏻💖
@@liquefaith You are so welcome! You can do this! Looking forward to your updates. 🙏🏼🥰
You can do this, and you will find the balance. We believe in you. 🌻
This is a very insightful video, even for those who do not suffer from an ED, so thanks for sharing. I hope that you can find that hospital bed. I just LOVE this quote of the day! We are here with you and sending you a big virtual hug. 🥰
You are very welcome dear! And thank you too 🙏🏻💖
It will get better, you're a fighter!
Sweetheart I understand you, I understand the discomfort. There isn't much to do about it then to sit that threw. Keep your goals clear. Stay strong, allow yourself to feel uncomfortable.
I am so proud to see that you already have recovered somewhat on your own. Going to treatment and giving the control to others is so scary.
But that is just how it feels. You are actually regaining your control back again.
You will be in control of your life again when you are recovered and the eating disorder is not what your life is about anymore.
You are going to take back what is yours, your life. You will inspire so many others when you are recoverd, I know that for sure. I'm praying for the day that I see you, healthy and happy and making video's about your recovery and a healthy lifestyle.
You have come so far dear Angelique. So far. You will rock this ❤️
Hello Lique! Just found your channel and subscribed. You are such a sweetheart, so articulate and beautiful. I deeply admire your honesty - you are a brave warrior! I wish you all the best and I'm praying for your strength and courage during these difficult times. Love to you from the US! ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for your encouragement Lauren! Happy to have you here 🙏🏻💖
You got this! You WILL get through this recovered. I believe in you, Angelique! It will get better.
Thank you Christina… 🙏🏻😘
Darling girl you are actually doing very well ! Don’t ever ever give up dear ! You got this ! When you are feeling anxious just leave everything in God’s Healing Hands 🙌. God Bless You 🙏
Thank you so much Francine… 🙏🏻💖
@@liquefaith Love you girl !
Sending you love and comfort! ❤️
Your body will be your guide throughout this process, it knows what it needs. Your mind and spirit will follow, and all they need is distraction and comfort while your body heals itself. It is so hard to let go of control but faith in the process will get you through it. The specifics will iron themselves out. You have great coping strategies already and I'm sure you will be able to cope with what comes your way.
You are allowed to feel fear and to feel out of control in this moment. Change is so scary. Be proud in the fact that you reached out instead of giving in to the ED. ❤️
Thank you Katherine! 🙏🏻💖
You got this! ! ! We are all behind you Lique...remember angels are watching over you
Thank you dear! 🙏🏻💖
I hope you’re proud of yourself; I definitely am. You’re very strong and I’m glad you are sharing your journey instead of keeping it all to yourself. When I was in my teens, I had to go to another state(in the US) to an inpatient psychiatric facility, and it was terrifying to me. Now when I look back on it, I’m glad I did it and I can see how it helped me. I was a minor so I didn’t have a choice, but now as an adult I wouldn’t have changed the idea to go even if I had the choice. And if I could, I would give you a hug. 😊
Be still, listen to your inner guide. All is well. Breathe ❤
I understand how scared you are but you’ve got this, I’m sure of it. You want to recover and being in the hospital can make that happen safely. You know what the process is and you know it is possible to fully recover. I am praying for you that you get admitted into this hospital program and that the staff are people who do their job well and are compassionate and understanding. You have been doing well at getting your body ready for treatment and I believe it helps that you are so smart and insightful. Best of luck.
I'm so proud of you and so happy to know you'll be going to a hospital!!! We can do this! You're not alone 💜 You're so smart, eloquent and enlightened. I'm sure you'll keep doing your best. This disease is awful, but recovery is possible. I myself am a recovered anorexic. Anyone that has gone through this terrible thing and recovery knows just how hard it is. But I've never met someone that regretted recovering from anorexia. It's really hard, but you can do it. And you will 💜
Honey, you are SO brave! I understand the panicky feeling and can empathize. Just remember that everything happens for a reason. I believe this channel is part of your soul's purpose. Just trust the process.🙏🙏💕💕☮☮☮
Song " perfectly loved" helps calm my nerves hope it can calm you down some way. Keep praying. Keep fighting you are stronger than what you think
I truly hope you get well and wish you happiness in life, you seem like such a lovely person. I have never dealt with anorexia myself but my friend suffered from it (she is much better these days). There aren't any magic words but it is easy to see you are a fighter and I believe in you and you can get through this🌷
I Will definitely save this video. You are such an intelligent and counsious woman. This video is not only helpfull for you... There are so many beautyful messages in it. I think you would make an awesome motivational speaker or coach in the future... Just by being you! You made me think about how I sit with my fears and yes there is no recovery without recovering. Please hold on, share your video's and make sure you recover. Keep praying, if that's what is giving you strength... He Will hear you and He Will watch over you... Don't let fear hold you back... You are needed on this earth... Sending you a big hug and I Will keep following your vlogs.
So so proud of you. Every day that you take care of yourself you get another day to live and see the beauty of the world. Keep going, keep getting healthy and stronger. So excited for you and your recovery. You can do this. You can do this. Much love.
Prayers , love and a huge hug from Kentucky! 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
Oh sweetie I just want to reach out and give you a huge hug. Recovery is so scary but staying where you are is worse. We are here for you. God is faithful and His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness. When you are scared lean on God and may His love for you give you peace. You can do this Angelique, you are stronger than you know. Don't allow the lies to rob you of a recovered life. Will be praying for you. xx