SATAN'S GUIDE TO THE BIBLE
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
- The Sunday school teacher is out. Good thing a substitute is available: Satan!
SATAN'S GUIDE TO THE BIBLE is an animated documentary. Join Satan as he shares Bible secrets, secrets the students' pastor learned at Christian seminary but is afraid to share. Thankfully, Satan's not afraid of losing his job.
Satan has amassed an impressive list of biblical scholars ready to reveal the "standard stuff" taught in Christian seminaries: Bart Ehrman (UNC Chapel Hill), John J. Collins (Yale), Dale Allison (Princeton Seminary), Susan Niditch (Amherst), Ron Hendel (UC Berkeley), and Hector Avalos (Iowa State). This is established seminary curriculum about biblical history, biblical morals, authorship claims, and early Christianity - a curriculum never shared with the congregation.
Darkly comedic, but thoroughly researched, SATAN'S GUIDE TO THE BIBLE is a fascinating journey into the secrets of the world's best-selling book.
Directed by documentary filmmaker Zeke Piestrup (APOCALYPSE LATER: HAROLD CAMPING VS THE END OF THE WORLD) and produced by animation filmmaker Tim Johnson (ANTZ, OVER THE HEDGE, HOME)
SATANSGUIDE.com
Upcoming Bart Ehrman awesomeness, the Bible and the Quran! Check it:
👀 Scriptures Under Scrutiny! Discover what critical historians say about the Bible and Quran in Bart Ehrman’s newest online course, "The Bible and the Quran: Comparing Their Historical Problems."
👉 Register or learn more at: bartehrman.com/scripturesunde...
INDEX:
00:00 SUBSTITUTE SATAN’S GOT BIBLE SECRETS
02:45 PASTORS KNOW THE BIBLE SECRETS
03:59 WHAT’S LEARNED AT SEMINARY STAYS AT SEMINARY
05:23 WHY CAN'T PASTORS JUST TELL US THE TRUTH?
06:30 I. THE BIBLE + HISTORY
06:38 THE EXODUS FROM EGYPT
08:49 ISRAELITES NEVER LIVED IN EGYPT
09:54 INERRANT MEANS WITHOUT ERROR
10:45 GOD’S GOT SCHOLARS TOO
12:40 THE PROMISE OF THE ALREADY-PROMISED PROMISED LAND
15:07 EVANGELICALS SAY CANAANITES WERE TOTALLY CRAPPY
16:16 ISRAELITES ARE CANAANITES?
17:21 EL
17:55 YES, ISRAELITES ARE CANAANITES
18:54 COMPETITIVE HISTORIOGRAPHY
19:09 THE STORY MAKES THE PEOPLE INTO THE PEOPLE
20:06 THE BELATED ISRAELITES ENTER THE WORLD STAGE
20:42 THE CRITICAL SCHOLARS ARE CHRISTIAN
22:41 WHY ARE CHRISTIANS ATTACKING THE BIBLE?
24:36 THE PROBLEM WITH BIBLICAL INERRANCY
26:50 WANNA HEAR ME SAY I NEVER KNEW YOU?
27:56 II. THE BIBLE + MORALS
28:34 HAPPY BABY SMASHING
30:52 CANAAN RECAP
31:18 JOSHUA WILL LEAVE NOTHING UNDONE
32:59 JOSHUA OBLITERATES JERICHO
34:45 KILLING KIDS IS FINE FEATURING WLC
36:41 JOSHUA SLAUGHTERS MORE CANAANITES
38:49 DID GOD REALLY SLAUGHTER THE CANAANITES?
40:42 GENOCIDE IS WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE
41:14 MORE GENOCIDE COMMANDED BY GOD
41:37 THE GOLDEN RULE
42:58 OLD TIME RELIGION RECAP
43:33 CHILD SACRIFICE IN ANCIENT ISRAEL
46:05 OLD TESTAMENT MEAN GOD VS NEW TESTAMENT LOVING GOD
47:27 SATAN’S 2 COMMANDMENTS
47:49 #1 AVALOS ADVISES EMPATHY INSTEAD OF AUTHORITY
48:08 #2 THE HUMANISTIC GOLDEN RULE
48:54 III. THE BIBLE + AUTHORSHIP
49:15 CHRISTIANS ON TH-cam VS BART DENTON EHRMAN
50:46 BELIEVERS & NONBELIEVERS AGREE: STANDARD STUFF
51:39 STANDARD STUFF ABOUT THE BOOK OF DANIEL
55:24 AUTHORSHIP OF SATAN’S BOOKS
55:58 BOOKS HAVE VOICES / PAULINE AUTHORSHIP
57:25 ILLITERATE FISHERMEN AUTHORS
59:18 SPEERCHULL WARFARE Y’ALL
1:03:15 IV. THE BIBLE + JESUS
1:04:04 THE CEMETERIES SAY JESUS WAS WRONG
1:04:40 FAILED END TIMES PREDICTIONS, ROLL CALL
1:05:58 SEMINARY’S BIGGEST SECRET
1:06:49 PAUL’S MISSING TOMB
1:09:03 RESURRECTION TO RESURRECTIONS / FIRSTFRUITS
1:11:03 MOM GETS LEFT BEHIND
1:13:03 BATHED & BAPTIZED IN APOCALYPTICISM
1:14:29 TWO WRONGS MAKING JESUS AN APOCALYPTICIST
1:15:25 THE BIBLE’S APOCALYPTIC JESUS
1:16:27 THE KINGDOM OF GOD ON EARTH
1:18:31 BILLIONS OF CITIES IN ISRAEL
1:19:03 NOBODY RODE A CARPET OF CLOUDS
1:19:45 THAT GENERATION DID PASS
1:22:10 JESUS’ FINAL STAND
1:24:24 IF THE GOOD BOOK IS BAD, HOW DO WE BE GOOD?
SOURCES CITED / WHEN SIGHTED
Allison, Dale C. Jesus of Nazareth: Millenarian Prophet / 1:13:35, 1:18:23, 1:19:29, 1:19:44
Avalos, Hector A. The Bad Jesus: The Ethics of New Testament Ethics / 1:03:49, 1:23:30
Avalos, Hector A. The End of Biblical Studies / 55:50
Avalos, Hector A. Fighting Words: The Origins of Religious Violence (since re-titled The Reality of Religious Violence) / 40:13
Avalos, Hector A. Health Care and the Rise of Christianity / 55:45
Collins, John J. The Encyclopedia of Apocalypticism Volume 1: The Origins of Apocalypticism in Judaism and Christianity / 55:54
Collins, John J. Introduction to the Hebrew Bible/ 5:06
Collins, John J. Does the Bible Justify Violence? / 23:56, 38:52, 40:25, 43:53
Collins, John J. The Apocalyptic Imagination: An Introduction to Jewish Apocalyptic Literature / 18:54, 53:58, 54:28, 56:50, 1:07:33, 1:09:47, 1:11:20, 1:14:46
Ehrman, Bart D. Forged / 59:03
Ehrman, Bart D. Misquoting Jesus / 50:03
Ehrman, Bart D. The New Testament: A Historical Introduction to the Early Christian Writings / 52:18, 53:01, 56:31, 58:02, 58:55, 1:04:32, 1:09:41, 1:09:57, 1:10:32, 1:13:25, 1:13:46, 1:14:30
Ehrman, Bart D. The Orthodox Corruption of Scripture / 49:59
Frykholm, Amy. Christian Understandings of the Future: The Historical Trajectory / 55:34, 55:46, 1:09:18, 1:12:08, 1:16:16
Frykholm, Amy. Rapture Culture: Left Behind in Evangelical America / 55:53
Gagne, Andre. The Global Impact of Religious Violence / 55:34
Hendel, Ronald. Remembering Abraham / 8:31, 17:34, 20:25
Hendel, Ronald. The Book of Genesis: A Biography / 55:35
Metzger, Bruce M. & Ehrman, Bart D. The Text of the New Testament: Its Transmission, Corruption, and Restoration / 55:48
Niditch, Susan. War in the Hebrew Bible / 37:40, 44:29, 45:51, 55:34
Wright, Jacob L. David, King of Israel, and Caleb in Biblical Memory / 55:35
Good starter book for folks leaving belief behind: Dan Barker's "Godless" includes many of the issues raised in this film.
This is hardly a complete bibliography. But these books are both cited & sighted.
Respect for all the sources you cite. And an amazing piece of edutainment
I approve this message.
I thank thee for the sources, o Prince of Darkness ;)
Still waiting
On?
My parents gave me a Bible and said it was God's word. When I read it, they were shocked that I ended up with more fundamentalist views than them. They still insist they never taught me "any of that stuff." That's not how it works, folks. Give a kid a book and tell them a literal God wrote it, and you're responsible for what they learn from a straight reading of the words.
I'm quite confident that neither of my parents has read the entire Bible to this day.
"Looks like we got ourselves a reader!" - #BillHicks
For me reading the bible is what actually got me out of christianity. Neither he old testament nor the new showed anything of the loving god I had been told about.
@Hugh.Manatee I didn't think God's existence was contingent upon whether or not he seemed loving to me. It was divine hiddenness, obviously fictional creation myths, and the contradiction of an omnipotent God _needing_ anything (blood sacrifices to forgive sins, etc.) that finally got me thinking.
same with LGBT propaganda
@@justbass4 You're so right, there is no reason to believe that LGBT people exist, just like Yahweh.
Oh.
Wait.
Hey, you're trying to trick me!
I spent four years in seminary and this is just the tip of the iceberg. I went in wanting to be an ordained minister and left an atheist.
It was catechism for me at 7😂
I had a similar experience except I was gone after a year.
The seminary achieved their goal. You were too honest to become a minister after they stripped you of the truth. Seminary graduates are also atheist who become false teachers to deceive the sheep. They walk on thin ice, but they make a good living preying on God's people.
That sounds traumatic af
@@wilderpowers6311you know this video is aimed at a specific genre of evangelical blockheads and not christianity as a whole right?
I am best friends with a devout Christian who is very secure in his beliefs. He said there wasn't anything I could show him that would shake his belief in God. He was angry with me after we watched this together. Even got angry at one of the sections. We often have robust discussions and he never takes any of it personally. I've never seen him react in such a way either.
Very interesting. Please give an update, I'll be interested to hear how this plays out. Likely just a small bump in the road? That's my prophecy. As for why he got angry, I'll steal language from Ernest Becker (cultural anthropologist). People get super peeved when their 'symbolic universe' is challenged, bc our 'immortality project' is shown to be in error.
@@SATANSGUIDE This is it all the way. People react angrily when they're faith is, in fact, shook. That was a defensive reaction and he probably doesn't want to be pushed more, unfortunately.
@@franciscolopez1787 I think its just offensive to a believer to present them "satans guide", no matter how well it's made. Saying that as an atheist. I find it tasteless too.
Why is that so? Simply because even if the video is right in all its points, they can't agree to something that satan supposes to them. And anger is often coming out of frustration and being powerless. There are so many sensible ressources out there. why pick this one for your friend? Not trying to diss the content of the video itself, but the stylistic choice is not to my taste. Again, saying this as an atheist.
Some best friend you are. If he is a real Christin and not some manufactured comment on yt, he'll start by looking at Daniel 11 12 - 13 and realise the opening claims in the video have nothing to do with Antiochus dying in Israel indicating the person/s behind this production are liars. No need to continue watching the whole thing.
If you really are his best friend, bring this to his attention.
@@marcrahn4307 So we've been friends since 2005 almost 20 years. I sang in his wedding. It's foolish to assume this is the only context of our discussions on religion and non-religion. I didn't "present" anything to him in any way more than you "present" youtube videos you watch to your friends. I am also not atheist. I went to religious school as a child, and am no longer religious. I believe in evolution which is contradicted often by religions and their proselytizers . This does not mean I have 0 believe in higher powers. Also, this isn't Satan. Its a video made of felt and construction paper with a voice over. What it is, is information.
As an "abomination" myself, I wanted to express my deepest appreciation for your documentary. The meticulous research and clarity you brought to historical events not only shed new light on the past but also made it accessible and engaging for a wider audience. Your dedication to uncovering and presenting the truth is truly commendable. 💜
“I rebuke you Satan!” “Thanks, Jen. Noted.” 😂
best line
I can picture the writers patting themselves on the back for that one. Probably the cleverest thing in the entire video. Almost made me chuckle slightly. Typical dad humor.
😂😂😂😂
Hah I love that she's Jen and he calls her that.
Hahaha
What season of The Magic Schoolbus is this?
Certainly the best episode. One that should be seen by all kids. My geandkids will definitely be given the opportunity.
Season 1: Genesis
m.th-cam.com/video/bDjqcUOdu0M/w-d-xo.html&pp=ygUbbWVhdGNhbnlvbiBtYWdpYyBzY2hvb2wgYnVz
666
It should go without saying that this is Season 666, just as @trinsit revealed, transmitted to us from the future via the dream-technology in John Carpenter's "Prince of Darkness".
Dude I almost started crying when they started singing “Jesus loves me, this I know”. The juxtaposition of my deconstruction laid bare with the living warmth I felt believing all this stuff in Sunday school. It hurts deep man.
Sending our love, friend.
@@SATANSGUIDE woah Satan himself replies! This video was *awesome* by the way! Most deconstruction videos I watch I find myself not fully agreeing with their arguments, but this one really solidly takes apart what I see as the genuine problems in the Bible. 10/10 would recommend
@@ChronicNewb Blessed are all who share SATAN'S GUIDE!
@@SATANSGUIDE thank u for opening more eyes
@@TinyBoxBin that's kinda been his thing, since the days in the Garden of Eden, when he was a snake! ;)
I was not expecting to learn so much and then cry my eyes out at the end... Play I just didn't know and then the credits just slap me in the face with it... Rip Dr Avalos. The legend
Mad respect to Dr Avalos for doing this interview even in the late stages of cancer. He was a real one. RIP.
I feel your post. I miss him greatly.
I thought that was what was ailing him. RIP.
I really enjoyed his wisdom and point of view
Respect
Forgive my troll but I'm half expecting someone saying in the comments that he got cancer BECAUSE was saying something against "the God" and everyone who got even slight thought of agreeing with anything he said will also get "wrath of god" 👀🙃
"I rebuke you satan"
"Thanks Jen, noted" got me laughing way harder than I probably should've
Same bruh, same.
So he admits to being Satan.
@@ri3m4nn Not like he ever denied it throughout the video.
@DainnGreywall he did, literally at the beginning. Adversary vs Satan, the Satan looks nothing like him shtick
@@ri3m4nnHe did not? He denied being the devil. Dudes got the attention span of a goldfish.
Honestly when I Saw "Satan's Guide To The Bible" I knew it was going to be good. Satan's never said a lie, so I was ready. But I didn't expect this level of research, with sources, humor, incredible graphics, and a very attractive Satan. Congratulations to the entire team. You did good guys. Truly. Thank You for this. I am an atheist, so not so shaken
So I wasn't the only one who thought Satan looked super huggable!
Seminary is usually three years. Here’s what I observed when I attended: 1. Students faith is ripped from them (for the better), 2. Students struggle to rebuild their faith, 3. Ignore parts one and two and accept the tropes and cliches because $150k in student loan debt doesn’t pay for itself.
I know because I left. I was voted out of my church because I said gay people deserve to be loved too, from a mainline denomination.
I’m free from someone else’s dogma!
I bestow praise & ethical props on you.
Doubt.
@@slayerdeth0705 Oh ok. I totally made up the most painful period of my life, a 10 year career taken away, leaving the community of people I deeply cared for. I totally love all this student loan debt /s.
I was the co-President of my student council at seminary and knew the inside game and the common struggle of ministerial students.
@@DoeDeer1 Is that the truth, who knows.
@@slayerdeth0705 Don't you take the resurrection by basis of faith in distant third hand eyewitnesses? Why is it a hard thing to believe the firsthand eyewitness before you?
i like how there’s 90 minutes between sunday school and the service and this video is almost 90 minutes lol it’s perfect
Of course! Stir the minds of the children up so bad they sit there silently contemplating life during service with that 1000 yard stare 😳😐😂
😂😂😂
Satan threw in just enough time for a bathroom break...how kind!
My favorite part?
Little girl: "Get hurt."
The Adversary raises an eyebrow.
Hahahaha, what about, 'Talky snake!'_ 😉☺
So far my favorite is “I rebuke you Satan!” “Thanks Jen, noted” 😂
Timestamp?
51:30 @@minetruly
CALLBACK! 1:21:35 @@minetruly
Run for the hills, everyone. I will run with you.
One has to wonder the amount of dishonesty and arrogance needed in order to "keep secrets" from the common people.
Like the satanic occult? The Bible and Christ are literally an open book. 😂😂😂
@@user-ne4bb9cl4b as long as people don't realize to really understand Jesus they MUST FIRST UNDERSTAND JUDAISM, they're reading a book without the required context and understanding what they want, not what Jesus probably wanted to teach.
@@user-ne4bb9cl4b Yet the irony is that most religious people don't read the actual sacred texts. They usually expect some sort of authority to explain the "true" meaning of these texts, which is the also the main focus of this video.
@@pachucodrive7861why do you just assume? If you’re gonna say something like that it needs to be a fact “most religious people.” You have no idea dude 😂
The fact that Satan himself is being depicted as offering “biblical secrets” is so hilariously on-brand for him. This is an interesting video.
No it's not satan did it with Adam and Eve and Jesus in the wilderness, all the times twisting/ changing scripture for his benefit. Hence the father of Lies
He is in fact the author of lies.
Satan never lied in the bible. And before you say "the serpent" - the serpent was not Satan (since the serpent had his legs cursed off and Satan still has his legs in Job, so that's ridiculous. It's just a primitive's explanation for why snakes have no legs, because they're weird) and even the serpent didn't lie. He said they wouldn't die if they ate the fruit, just that their eyes would be opened, which was true. The only reason they had any problems was because God was pissed at them, which is a whole new book of stupid. God said "If you eat the fruit, you will die". That was a lie. They didn't die, they had their eyes opened. Technically, the knowledge of good and evil is called "emotional maturity" and it's something we all get when we transition from children to adolescents.
Try reading the 10 books of
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriminalgeschichte_des_Christentums?wprov=sfti1
@@laughingl0tus
the Abrahamic deity being allegedly whole would then be willing and able to manifest as both
Isaiah 45:7
I'm an atheist. I've been seeing this in my recommendations. And I assumed it would simply be anti-theist yelling, and ignored it. I shouldn't have judged it by its cover. This is excellently produced, and apparently has been in the works for over a decade. Great video!
Un-humbled, thank you!
Same. I'm an atheist and I'm not really interested in just having my viewpoint reinforced without any new substance so I skipped over this video like a hundred times. In fact the only reason I'm watching it now is because TH-cam auto played it at the end of the last video. For once the algorithm didn't fail me.
We come together,@@dannonyogurt98, in praise for the TH-cam Algorithm!
@@SATANSGUIDE hail satan!
@@SATANSGUIDE - I couldn't possibly agree more. I'm only halfway through it and thoroughly enjoying the experience. Very well done. Thanks.
>me walking in on my son/daughter getting lessons from Satan.
> me sitting down and joining them after realizing he cites biblical scholarship.
Family time with SATAN'S GUIDE. Rejoice!
Of course Satan and scholars would quote Scripture. It's the cunning manor in which the truth is twisted in order to show a perspective. It may seem logical. Yet it is intentionally misguided into a false narrative. That's Satan's specialty.
@@xqxxy686 Throwaway name, incongruent take. The signs of a bot!
@@rokaq5163 a bot? Nope not a bot.
@@rokaq5163 how exactly to you perceive my comment to be incongruent?
When I was 14, I read the Bible and was shocked. I never pursued religion after that. I knew it was not the work of a ‘supreme’ being.
You clearly can't read very well.
The “supreme being” didn’t write it… and why and how did you come to that conclusion?
@@olacogumelo3789No supreme being wrote the Bible, nor does is there evidence it was inspired by one.
I lost it at "Gay shrimp eaters?" 💀💀💀
Me who's gay and love eating shrimps 🍤 : 😲
@@NicolasMendoula Are the Shrimps gay too?
@@mattw5840 I don't know. It doesn't matter I'll eat them anyways.
@@NicolasMendoula (In a Demonic Voice) *"You're all nothing but Food to me."*
@@feragosmyxixarashtra7948 accurate. 😂 I don't even bother to remove the skin
As unnecessarily shocking as this video could have been (given the name of the channel/video), you made the decision to let the shock be in the content and not the delivery. You chose to approach the topic respectfully but firmly, in a way that communicated its information clearly. I have a lot of respect for the work you did on this monster of a video and hope it reaches as many people who need to see it.
I feel like this information could reach a *lot* more people had this video been called something else. Just saying.
@@justiniadonisi9290 eh TH-cam’s algorithm is a big fan of titles that drive engagement and this definitely did so (source: the number of apologists and counter-apologists who have responded to this video)
Just admit your true satanic plan was that everyone watching can't get this "by the rivers of Babylon" Song out of their heads anymore 😂
Here here! 🤩
I rebuke you dinosaur, you never existed.🐊🦖🦕🐉
Never thought I'd say this unironically but wow, thanks Satan
Devil is actually a good guy in fact. He is like a Prometheus who stole fire from gods and gave it to people.
@@hereandnow990 Close that sinful mouth, heretic.
@@hereandnow990 devil wishes destruction on all of humanity.
he knows giving power to the people leads to their destruction.
@--Traveler-- well so far it's been God who was bringing destruction on humanity, according to Bible. And according to the same Bible its him(God) who gives power to kings and presidents. And by the way, it's God who sends evil spirits and lying spirits to people. So....
@@hereandnow990 Not true. God's kingdom is open to ALL. Evil spirits and demons, like every man, act on their own volitions. These are one of those moments when I kinda have to laugh and say "you'll see!" You honestly probably won't, though, since the wicked flee.
Recently my parents move out to the fundamentalist countryside and I was so worried for them. Then my father decides to study theology and I almost freaked out, but against my judgement, he just turned more left leaning and became an atheist. I was not expecting that, but I'm quite happy. I will send him these, luckily it has subtitles.
Blessed are those who share SATAN'S GUIDE with their newly atheist pop.
@@SATANSGUIDE You are a nasty individual.
I now want to imagine kids actually walking into Sunday school and just seeing a good looking guy with wings and choosing to stay rather then question what happened to the regular teacher 😂
I mean are they really allowed to question anything? Well that's not taught by a stupid scientist or historian
@@burnforeverandever yes? As greater men than I have said: faith without doubt is dead faith. And 2 Timothy 2:15 actually said that careful study of the world is how you find the truth of the world.
So, like...
@@vyor8837 I mean Christian Fundamentalists are teaching them not too, Not the Bible
@@burnforeverandever define "fundamentalists"
@@burnforeverandeveryou must not believe
Reminds me of when our sunday school teacher taught us that only believing in god got you in heaven, and I asked, "Even if you were the best person in the world?", and she said "yes, even they would go to hell if they didn't believe. "
In retort, I then said, "So the best person could be in hell, and the worst in heaven? That's not right!" and all the other kids agreed with me.
Suddenly, I wasn't allowed at sunday school anymore, which my parents who only let me go because I wanted to, rather than to brain wash me with their own beliefs, were fine with. Taught me a very important lesson about religion and those who organize it.
Actually the Bible says there are NO GOOD people if you want to get REALLY technical in teh actual language the Bible calls our righteousness a pile of shit and a bloody tampon. Disgusting things to the eyes of a perfect and holy God.
The best could be in hell and the "worst" in heaven. That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9. The Lord in not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:8. Man's view on the worst doesn't matter if He comes to Christ and believes in him and confesses with his mouth the Lord Jesus and believes in his heart that God has raised Him from the dead and repents for if he does that he is saved.
There is really no “best” or “worse” person in comparison to God’s holiness, we are all deserving of His wrath. Trusting in Christ for salvation is the only way to be redeemed and forgiven for your sins. Not one of us is good compared to God.
@@willyzook Ya but more even we are all born completely in rebellion and totally depraved. If your cute cuddly little toddler were bigger and stronger than you and you balked his/her will you;d be killed by that cuddly little heathen. Its ONLY in being born again and even then its his nature imputed upon us that makes us holy and good.
@@willyzook I was just talking about man's view of the "best" person and the "worst" person.
Any chance you could make a sequel video where Satan talks about how hes been confused with other gods like the devil, Hades, Pan, Moloch, etc? And have those dark gods on as the guest stars he debates with.
Good idea!
Ooh or do a video of critical analysis on the Quran!
I'm Christian and still identify as so, but I totally loved and agreed with this piece of art. Relogion is made by man, and man lies.
I need a “gay shrimp eater” t-shirt
quick question, whats wrong with eating shrimp?
@@lumberjackofalltradesit's fine as long as you're not gay [while you do it]
@@lumberjackofalltrades Shellfish are “detestable,” according to Leviticus 11:12: “That which has no fins nor scales in the waters, that is a detestable thing unto you.”
@@pixill4ted593 - "Unclean," actually - meaning - unhealthy for the body (Sin against the body). The belief is that scavenger animals carry toxins in their flesh and should not be consumed.
@@pixill4ted593 - Oh, jeez! Leviticus, again. Guess that's where they list all the fun stuff that pisses god off.
I love shrimp, lobster and oysters. Guess I'm goin' to hell now. It's like Rosanna Rosanna Danna used to say, "It's always something!"
And if you don't know who she is, take a moment to search TH-cam. You won't be disappointed.
"...when right-minded readers read rightly" is such a brutal drop. Well played.
Sounds like a direct quote from Festus on Gunsmoke (he was illiterate but was a sponge for info)..He once asked Doc "How do yuh know thet yer readin the writin rightly, or ifn the guy what wrote the writin writ it rightly hisself..."
@@grantkruse1812 As I have an entirely different frame of reference that sounds like something from King of the Hill
Thank you. I was a christian for most of my life and became ex-christian due to most things not making sense and i still never knew half of the things you mentioned here. Thank you for waking me up
So, they are justifying slaughter but a person liking someone of the same sex is against their religion.
immoral morals
@@SATANSGUIDE exactly
As a native Spanish speaker, I read ETS as enfermedades de transmisión sexual (Spanish for STD).
My favorite nugget that's been dropped on this board, more than a few times. Spanish subtitles are now live! Rejoice.
😂😂😂
Hearing WLC rationalize the killing of the children is horrific. How perverse it is that a person will contort natural empathy and any recognizable sense of ethics to justify the acts of God as presented in the Bible. Disgusting!
Pro-genocide arguments from a supposed pro-lifer! Goodness. I guess WLC is only pro certain lives. To quote the Apostle Bill Hicks: "You either love all people of all ages or you shut the f up."
@@SATANSGUIDE Now you have my total admiration for quoting Bill Hicks.
Natural empathy doesn't exist...and apparently neither does your abiltiy to process information. Try reading the source in context..instead of blindly believing the inane ramblings of someone who openly worships evil.
WLC is on record stating that he believe first, and evidence supports that belief. Because God is so real and the Bible is so trustworthy, no amount of change in the evidence would ever be enough to shake his faith.
Eric Hovind, the son of the crazy Dino pastor Kent Hovind, says
“As Christian’s we must presuppose that God exists and the Bible is the inerrant word of God. This is where our faith is, we then build off of that truth.”
Whoa whoa whoa, this video edited out the context! You see, WLC is actually a shock comic, like Andrew Dice Clay. This video leaves out the punchline at the end, where WLC shouts: "The Aristocrats!"
As a former pastor and Sunday school teacher, I loved this. Beautifully done. Let your little light shine!
Wow, how come you exited your job?
Got caught diddling didn’t you?
In light of all this information, Jesus starts to look more and more like a cult leader. Telling his followers he’s the son of god, prophesying that the world would end soon, and having a small group of followers to manipulate.
The fact that you guys worked on this for 10 years, as a team of 3 is an achievement commendable beyond mere words. No money. I can only imagine the sweat and blood poured into these 85 minutes. From a random aspiring creator: congratulations to you all for this incredible undertaking.
Prophecy: You will one day emerge from the deep valley of creation.
@@SATANSGUIDE wait this a decades old project, now that’s dedication.
All very well-known information widely available.
Standard stuff,@@mikemondano3624
Standard stuff...unless you're one of the sheep.
I love how the tone fits Christian kids vhs shows from the 80s and 90s lmao. Very well done you're a master of script and graphic design
Un-humbled!
@@SATANSGUIDE stay that way
Jen - "I rebuke you, Satan!"
Satan - "Thanks, Jen... Noted." 😂❤
2:40
Yes! I laughed out loud at this in a room full of people. I had my earbuds in, so they all stared at me, wondering what I was laughing at.
@@LisaKinotiit wasn’t that funny? And why do you talk with exclamations on a yt comment other than a question mark??
@@Spectorblade Somebody's salty! Must be a Christian. And yes, I wasn't the only one who thought it was funny... so... yes, it WAS funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I was a little gullible kid, I would be so scared to go to Hell. Think about it. A little kid. Scared of a concept.
Think about adults teaching Hell to children.
@@SATANSGUIDE fr
I was raised by atheist parents (from catholic and Zwingli families) in a deeply catholic country and during my youth, I tried to find my spirituality and was only faced with aggression and intolerance. Furthermore, the same people who called me a heretic and infidel when I was but 7yo, were the same who wanted to take me to a brothel to celebrate my 18th birthday. I don't have a problem with religious people but I do have a problem with hypocrisy. Great video! Definitively subscribing! :D
Those are tough bullets for a 7-year-old.
@@SATANSGUIDE It was, especially since I was also new to that country coming from Switzerland were I was born.
If the others already have a chosen religion, such as christianity or one of the other j religions, they will become uncomfortable if you are trying to chose a religion or find some spirituality.
They prefer that you believe in the exact same thing that you do, otherwise, they become ugly, unfriendly, they stop talking to you.
Well, you were only 7 y back then so you lacked a lot of information.
I am an atheist in Canada and although the number of atheists is going up drastically (It was like 12% in 1998 and now, it is about 25%), I don't advertise that I am an atheist since I know that some theists are nasty people.
When I worked at a certain place, I found out that one guy had a car and he gave a lift to a guy to reach the subway. The subway was only 3 min away by car, otherwise, I would have to take the car.
So I asked if he can lift me as well. He said yes.
During one of the car rides, it turned into a religious talk. I said I was an atheist. The other guy was an atheist. The car driver was a jehova’s witness. I do remember he said at one point he said that halloween is dangerous.
Anyway, the next day he said he could not give me a lift anymore and I found out he said the same to the other guy as well.
There you go. That is a jehova’s witness.
I learned what a jehova’s witness was.
@@louistournas120 That sucks! Theists always expect their religiousness to be respected but don't seem to understand that it goes both ways.
As a teenager, as we were walking home from school, I once had the village minister stop to give a lift for my friends but since I was the son of an atheist, he wanted to leave me alone on the side of the road, some 6km from home. Luckily my friends declined the lift and stayed with me as we walked home.
@@firbolgJesus teaches us in the Gospel that we need to love and forgive our enemies. Christians will face persecution, it will happen. This video is trying to make you think of God as some jerk who disregards everything, and does not care. Persecution is destined for any Christian, and I have been persecuted for my beliefs. Hypocrisy is very common within Christianity because that is how Satan works his hands into the minds of believers. You just need to accept the persecution because the road to heaven is NOT easy, but very hard. Do not let anybody stray you from Christianity. I recommend you look into the miracles of the Eucharist, which can show a lot.
"Gay shrimp eaters" is the funniest thing I've heard all day. Thanks Satan.
So anyone who eat shimp is gay now?
This was the best part
Lol not sure why eating shrimps is a bad thing
@@Morn__it's in the old testament
@@Morn__ and thats why youre gay Morn.
RUN TO THE HILLS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
(im sorry i just had put an iron maiden reference)
In an alternate universe, this movie had a budget. And you already know the closing credits song.
@@SATANSGUIDE YES ;)
🤘😎🤘
Oh my god! I loved this video. This is the cutest, snarkiest, funniest, and most origional thing I've seen on youtube in months. Very well done, SATANSGUIDE team. Thank you!
The ad before this was offering a free Bible audio book
Mine was the Christian app Hallow, promoted by Mark Wahlberg.
that's youtube making a lot of money because they're being paid extra to play religious ads before videos that doubting Christians could potentially watch
And I had an ad for a free psychotherapist program. Sometimes it's good to be Ukrainian)) 😅
Mine was some hipster asking to share scripture
Same, Christian ad
"Hearing just his last name, daddys blood pressure gonna rise"
"Is it Obama?"
This is such a precision strike, even Obama would have been impressed
And yes, Erhman is the Christian apologetics equivalent of the boogieman when it comes to biblical authorship, and we love him for that
Christian paranoia and a book with talking animals. Any education? No proof for Exodus and Moses, but Christians are too smug to type Moses online. Humility can't compete with modern TH-cam sensationalism and total ignorance. Right?
Classic 😂
@@killumanti7749 Paranoia is so adorable when it wears a halo!
I am a pastor's daughter, and this was fantastic!
Please don't listen to this video it's all lies. Jesus loves you all these words have been twisted to fit an evil narrative to take you away from God. Please talk to ur Dad and understand that humans didn't write the Bible God wrote it using them as a tool.
Although twisted into a fallacy.
Talk to ur father and don't pay attention to lies Satan is a liar and he is not capable of love.
I am a pastor's son, and this was not fantastic.
I've seen religion carve out my mother and leave her as a hollow, smiling husk. This was fantastic.
So you guys are already taking flak from the jesusphere on youtube. Sign of a work well done, congrats!
Blessed are all who make response videos!
@@SATANSGUIDE Can't understand how people get mad with such charming adversary.
I remember when in primary school they gave us our own bibles and we were told to read it. So I did what an autistic 11 year old would do, I started at the beginning. I was permanently expelled from bible study class after asking why the book of Ruth glorified genocide. I had already been given detention for earlier remarks about old testament books saying infanticide, incest and involuntary copulation were seemingly fine.
Guess I did the one thing they didn't want me to do. I actually went and read the bible and what little religion that was drilled into me as a child vanished. Not because someone told me religion was a hoax or wrong or even the historical inaccuracies. But because of simple first hand experience.
I was bullied a lot as a child, simply because I was different due to my autism. Being bullied was not nice, the kids who did this to me were not nice people in my view. The teachers who could, but didn't act were bad people in my view. Then when our pet cat died I understood the grief of loss, again this was not nice. And I already knew that killing something or someone meant they'd be dead. Why would you want to purposely inflict such grief upon another, that just seemed wrong to me.
So when I read the Bible and there was all this talk of genocide, infanticide, plague and pestilence. I understood very well, even as an 11 or 12 year old, that these were not good things. And there were so many things of which I didn't fully understand what they were, but they didn't seem nice. This made me question, if all of this was done in the name of "God" why should I follow these teachings? How does so much terrible stuff add up to something good? Well the more I read, the more it didn't add up.
Empathy and "don't do to another what you wouldn't want them to do to you" were not difficult concepts to grasp even as a child. I never needed a book for that.
7 bad things = 1 good thing, bc 7 means perfection
God doesn't bring upon the horrors of this world. Satan is the god of this world. Sin started when Lucifer let his pride overcome his purpose. sin and wickedness come from Satan.
Just imagine, if you tried to complete a puzzle without all the pieces
@@subjectivelyoffensive u don't need all the pieces to get the big picture
@@codythomas1450 So was it Satan that made God command all those genocides?
"Can the dead write letters?" "Why not? They vote all the time." HILARIOUS!
I was literally about to quote this very line! Lol glad it hit someone else the same way
the kids are perfect representations of the type of kids I imagine conservative Christians would raise
I note that the one who says that is the only one who survives the "Be gone from me" smiting at the end of this. Despite all the new info, she continues to buy the lie that the Buy-bull is inerrant.
can somebody explain that to me? I have no clue what is meant by it, is it an american thing?
@@samukai5802In the U.S., there are a lot of voter suppression campaigns. One tactic is to suggest that there are a lot of fraudulent voters, people using the names of dead people to sneak and vote multiple times. This has not happened, but the GOP still says it is the reason they have to be vigilant by removing names from voter rolls and policing voting facilities in poorer or Black and Brown neighborhoods.
The “prophecy after the fact” blew my mind when I read ehrman’s book on heaven and hell. I mean, it makes sense: there’s no way we can verify any of that from the first fucking century lmao
Well, we're not totally clueless about ancient stuff. In its own way, we can date Daniel much, much more precisely than most books of the Hebrew scriptures, since it's so right about pre-168 BCE history, and then makes a prophecy that clearly doesn't come true in 165 BCE. So... 168-165 BCE, there we go.
We need more Satan's guides!!
"the Satanic hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy", perhaps?
When I was about 9 or 10, my mom and stepfather would take us church hopping. One time we went to a non denominational church where they did the speaking in tongues and stuff. Well, i remember being in children's church with the songs and puppets, but then they had us all line up to go join the adults in the sanctuary.
They lined all us kids in a row at the front, near the pulpit. And all the adults were howling and moaning and speaking in tongues, which was pretty alarming to me because I hadn't seen this before. However, i do remember mostly being quite curious about the whole thing.
So i watch as the pastor goes one by one down the row of kids. He would stand in front of a child and speak in tongues, and then blow on their forehead, then the child would fall back onto the floor and there was a man behind the kid that would cover them with a blanket.
Well i was pretty excited for it to be my turn because to me it seemed like a magic trick or something.
He gets to me and he's all "shalahmama...." etc and then blows on my forehead. And im just looking at him. So he says some more gibberish, then touches my forehead. And im still waiting to fall down. Finally i think he got irritated with me because yhe next time he pushed my head back with his finger, so i just layed down and was pretty freaked out for the rest of it.
But that's the first time i had any sort of feeling that maybe something wasn't quite like they always taught me.
Wonderful story. Thank you for sharing. At the Pentecostal services I've attended, It bothers me deeply when they make all the kids cry.
I grew up in a “shamalama” church but one grandmother was Roman Catholic. We took this disabled grandmother to a Benny Hinn event, and she was on stage but didn’t fall when pushed. She was confused. He pushed her twice more before they took her off-stage.
I was about seven and asked my mother why God didn’t heal grandma, why grandma didn’t fall.
“Grandma didn’t know she had to fall.”
This bothered me for years but I filed it away for as long.
I’m atheist now and still wonder why she worded it that way.
Growing up in non-denominational/Pentecostal churches, this was always weird to me. Whenever someone would go to do it to me only thing I ever felt was social anxiety that I need to fall, too. Other than that, no feeling, no spirit of God. I think some people hype themselves up and can have a physical reaction, but I have to believe it's placebo in all cases where it isn't fake.
Thats pretty cool with the church hopping its always good to get a better perspective by triangulating the truth through multiple view points sounds like you had pretty cool parents. Its hard you had to find out the lengths some will go to to manipulate but im sure you grew alot and realized a bit more about the human condition from it.
“Grandma didn’t know she had to fall.” 🤣🤣🤣@@MsLemon42
I remember how betrayed I felt when I stepped outside the boundaries of what I was "allowed" to study, and learned this for myself 30 years ago. Then I had to decide whether to live life as a hypocrite, or give up ever speaking again to anyone I ever knew and loved. It was hard, but I'm no hypocrite. Hypocrisy, as it turns out, was largely a trait of Christianity.
I've known several people since then who have doctorates in theology, including 2 Catholic priests. They were all atheists, even the priests. The conclusion was that you couldn't study the bible at that level with an open mind and still believe in the Bible.
Props on your bravery. Painful when these issues affect friendships.
Is hypocrisy a trait of Christianity or people you knew who were Christians? Christianity makes it clear everyone is a massive hypocrite.
Sounds like seminary is a long drawn out process of taking a pillow to your faith. "Shh, shhhh... it's not your fault." Whilst, at the same time; the cost of education is so ridiculously high that the sunken cost added on top of the prospect of having to retool for another trade (like say becoming an engineer) forces most seminary graduates to just continue onwards to become pastors/priests because... well we all need to eat and now you have student loans to pay off.
ya but id rather starve then brainwash people@@gilian2587
Everything isnt for everybody. I mean they crucified Jesus during his time. That's alright. As long you stay a good person. You don't need the bible to know how to do that.
My name is josh and the "I will leave nothing undone" part had me cackling lol
I was a Catholic for 20 years but haven't been for 5, almost 6 years now. I'm a Satanist now. I looked back through the bible and saw the killings and asked myself: "Why would a loving god want so much killing? So much death?" So learning all of this is just... well, it's... interesting for sure. I never looked at it from this perspective-- the scientific/archeological factor-- but it's also interesting to learn just how much the priests and ministers learn and hide from everyone.
I just began to read "drunk with blood - God's killings in the Bible" by Steve Wells. no wonder a whole book can be filled with God's own and sanctioned killings.
You have been tricked and strayed. I pray you find the path back home.
@@AgusGA02 I am home. I didn't ask for anything, so.... Ave Satanas. Hail Satan. I didn't ask for anyone's prayers or anything. I'm more than happy being a Satanist and wish I found it sooner. What works for you no longer works for me.
@@AgusGA02 Satanism is my home and I wish I found it sooner than I did. I didn't ask to be prayed for and the only one that tricked me was the one I was following. If you don't agree with the video, why watch it? I like it because it proves just how little we're told about it.
😂😂😂tf
Ok that authorship line had me cracking up. "Can the dead even write?" "Why not, they continue to vote"... Hilarious 😂😂😂 great video
Jen just says the most unintentionally funny stuff!
that kid definitely has republican parents xD
I expected her to say, "Why not, they reanimate." But that was way better.
"Can the dead write letters?"
"Why not? They vote all the time."
Funny how Trump was unable to prove that dead people voting had anything to do with the election outcome....
Yes, famously the Republican who claimed someone voted as his decreased wife and what a stink that made until it was discovered that it was him who had cast the vote in her name and he even cast it for Trump. He was charged for it, Donald Kirk Hartle of Nevada. Barry Morphew murdered his wife and then cast her ballot for Trump. Russel Hobbs, Daniel Brewer and Tamara Amratis all Republican cast ballots in recently deceased loved one's ballots in Pierce County Wahington, all for Trump. Our party has an identity crisis and we are losing our credibility because we think the ends justifies the means, but it dosen't.
If you lie with dogs you'll wake with fleas!
Polititians may be greasy snake oil salesmen but at least they do know what needs to be done to keep the cogs turning whereas I can't say the same about the people we elected who had no experience but were popular.
They have done nothing.
Where is the wall?
We could have paid the Cartels 1/5th the amount of money to keep the border closed and I guarantee not a single person would make it across.
If too many people are coming as refugees from Venezuela we should just invade Venezuela and they'll stay there. That country has oil it is a member of OPEC. We like oil.
For Democrats
@@gyn6131 Republicans love saying that, because every investigation into dead voters finds they vote Republican. Fucking history rewriters.
Further, there's like a double digit number of dead voters in each election (i.e 0.00003%) and most are false positives. The majority of investigated cases in the past two elections were old conservatives voting for Trump a second time with their dead spouses information. Might be because of that time Trump told his supporters to vote twice 🤦♂
Also, shame on Satan for pushing this misinformation in a video calling out misinformation. You could do better, Satan.
@@gyn613190% of all politicians around the globe
Only a couple minutes in and I have to say, the production, voice acting and animation are stellar. Satan's voice particularly tickles my ears
The study of religion usually ends faith. There are so many Clergy that, for all the intentions they had of serving humanity, now find themselves without faith themselves, because they usually have an analytical bent and are well ordered in their thinking. But now they say to themselves that while they may not be personally worthy of redemption and ascension into Heaven, perhaps they may assist others to do so, or maybe attain it by 'works.' I really believe they stay in it more because of the peer pressure than any particular belief, and in the company they keep, that peer pressure never relents. I have problems with calling myself an "atheist." You never hear people much these days talking about how they think that the story of Enki just doesn't strike them as true. I would just say that you're on the road to reason, instead of trying to name the recovery from your disease by naming it in honor of the cause of it, which in itself is an inadequacy of thought coupled with the very human desire to never cease to be. But, what do I know? If I have the time, I'll pray for you as I spend my eternity being consciously tortured in a lake of burning lava. Toodles.
Blessing for "toodles"!
I won't lie. Satan is a little bit hot.
Reminds me of a very short relation I had with this girl that had a bit of SATAN and SANTA (same letters...)
Hot & Cold from Katy Perry related ?
Patiently waiting for the fan art 🙏
Believe me my friend. You know where satan is ? You wanna know where he's really at ? Unless youre willing to go the penitentiary you have NO idea what youre getting into. That's satan for you. You sure you want that life ?
That's kinda gross
@@JaysonT1Why? That beard is dashing!
What woke me up to christianity was very simple: “Satan didn’t lie, god did” and “why did god set adam up to fail? How can a man without knowledge of right and wrong know it’s wrong to disobey god?”
I was very analytical growing up, but I held on to that thought for years before admitting to myself “maybe all this was a shitty fairy tale?”
We need some rewrites, right? What's with this textual fixity obsession? We should be free to change and evolve sacred texts for the better.
@@SATANSGUIDE my interpretation of hitchens’ argument was: to fall for the lies in the Bible is to need the lies.
I add to it: to uncover the truth need only an honest mind.
I think we have added to it - I’d say I learned a great deal of morals from reading and watching Spider-Man growing up. Modern heroes are “gods amongst us” much like ancient mythology had Zeus/Thor/Horus/etc
P.s.
😍not only did you respond but you clearly understood and even ADDED to what I wrote.
The title of “adversary” truly fits you and I hope you maintain that composure forever ♾️
👏🏽 👏🏽
Hi I hope your day is great. I’m sorry to bother you but I feel called to respond to this comment. You can respond to me if you want.
God did not lie to Adam and Eve. After Adam and Eve had eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil they stopped eating from the Tree of Immortality. Thus they lost their eternal life and became moral beings bound to the flesh that would eventually expire. Satan also temped Eve for a very long time, it was not just a single temptation.
God also did not set Adam and Eve up to fail, instead He gave Adam and Eve choice to follow Him just as He gave Satan and his angels. Everything God created was good so He also created choice. In order for a relationship with God to be good people needed to have the choice and willingness to decide that for themselves because no good relationship forces you to be there when you don’t want to. Everyone who is in Hell is there because they would rather be in their than admit their faults and take up their cross to make it to Heaven.
🎯
@@SATANSGUIDE Needs some textual fixity-uppity, if you know what I mean ;)
And here we're only discussing the canonized texts; who knows what was excluded as the books were compiled into the forms known today.
Thanks to archeology, we actually now have access to a lot of texts that could have been included, but weren't. See: the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Nag Hammadi Libarary. Some such apocrypha lines up with the Bible we ended up getting, some of it doesn't, and some of it is frankly just gibbering nonsense. It's a fascinating subject.
@@MoonMoverGaming I noticed a lot of hype shortly after the Qumran scrolls were discovered, that these would corroborate the "truths" in the canonized texts, and then... silence.
I am truly thankful for this video. It has helped me finally overcome my Christian trauma. For seven years in the past, 2015-2022, I used to be an Orthodox Christian. I used to have this exact thinking. I would see the whole world as my enemy, the enemy I would face head on, violently and without remorse, with God on my side. I would only "forgive" people, hypocritically pleased, that those who do not comply to my will, are going to be tortured forever by God Himself.
Since then I have learnt about true compassion based on empathy, about not judging others' beliefs and not really caring about it, about the fact I was not obligated to do certain things that hurt me, like offending my relatives who would not believe in Jesus Christ the Lord, like offending random people on the Internet for not sharing Christian/Abrahamic beliefs or "turning the other cheek". Now I am much more free from fear, shame, wrath than before. Now I do not suffer from lack of love for myself and others (since "we are lowly, filthy humans compared to God", I used to think), from lying to myself and the others ("INERRANT"), from existential crisis ("Well… But what if I am actually the one going to hell? What if everybody but the few are going to hell? What if my existence is worth nothing?") and oppression of the religion ("Those who are not with us are against us and are going to hell, so let us keep discipline and obedience here!").
I currently worship Ra, Inpu (a.k.a. Anubis), Baphomet and Satan, but not because I feel obligated or other people told me to, but because I enjoy it and find it pleasant and empowering, this is my personal way of both self-improvement and enjoying life.
Thank you very much for this video, and I truly hope it is not going to be the last on this channel! May all here be blessed, find their own way in life, be safe, healthy and happy!
Amen! Beautiful testimony.
Do you actually believe Ra, Inpu, Baphomet, and Satan exist?
I'm confused by you stating you worshipping the since they seem to be from different mythologies.
Genuinely asking and not attempting to insult in any way.
@@dwo356 In my perception, They All exist, yes. I am sorry if the next part is too long, but it is all in case you would be *really* curious about many details, so I got inspired and tried to spill as much information as I could.
Ra and Anubis come from Kemetic pantheon (Ancient Egypt polytheistic tradition), Baphomet has three (!) versions of origins (I prefer the Gnostic Deity one, but there are also "alchemical symbol by Eliphas Levi" and "Demonic" one. Historically all of them are kinda right, they are just completely different), and Satan can be viewed as an Angelic Spirit, as a Demonic Spirit, and some people syncretise Him with such Spirits as Lucifer, Samael and Baphomet (I personally do not, I am a Theistic Satanist who does not sycretise Him with any of these, viewing Them all as different entities), not to mention the majority of modern Atheistic Satanists, who believe in Satan as a symbol of freedom and secularity, critical thinking et cetera, not an actual Spirit.
They have some diversity in original worldview, philosophy and background (Kemetic Deities are all about "balance, universal law of purity", Ma'at, so They really care about Their followers always trying to be their best selves and upholding order. Demons are considered to be less moral-oriented and society-oriented, unless it is in Their background, They are fine with just "trading" offerings for support and inspiration, but there are things They would not tolerate too), but it all boils down to each individual reaching out to Them, studying Them, and building relationships with Them, which may be very personal and intimate. Modern Polytheists have specific terms for all this confusing stuff: Unverified Personal Gnosis, Unverified Collective Gnosis, Verified Collective Gnosis. I would love to explain further, but I do not believe it would be necessary for basics, and it might get too nerdy/boring.
I understand your confusion, but believe me, there are much more confusing credos out there. I might be a mix of Kemetic priest and Demonolatrist with a bit of Daoism flavour, but there are such wild concoctions as Christopagans (They worship both Deities from multiple pantheons and Spirits from the Abrahamic Christian tradition, such as Jesus, Saints et cetera) or Chaotic Magicians (these train themselves to make themselves believe one credo or another at will so they could perform "Chaotic magic", which would mix different traditions, such as Ceremonial Magic with Tantra Magic and finishing it off with African Hoodoo).
Let us say I think any belief is good if it does not promote anything violent (murdering people for land and possessions, stoning people for having different worldview or sexual orientation) and does not oppress its followers with fearmongery ("Follow me, or I never knew you and you shall be tortured for eternity in hell"). The Gods I believe in are not about any of that.
Spiritual practice is about self-improvement and studying the Universe and oneself, it is very intimate, not about being a member of a Monotheistic/Polytheistic/Atheistic political party which would make war with anybody their leaders would point them to.
I hope it is curious! ^^
"Christan trauma"
Ra is in hell.
The opposite happened to me.
“Thanks Jen. Noted.” That part killed me lol 😂
@@Apexthebeasteveryone but Jen went to hell…
@albertowilliams959 There is no hell they put that in to make it easier to control people. It's classic cult rules & behavior. Religion is a tax exempt Business.
@@albertowilliams959you’re so very beyond being saved.
The Bible you attest to is evil as fuck. Supporting it means supporting a whole list of abhorrent things. Countless things that lead me to believe you haven’t read the Bible!
Hah for some reason I really love that she's "Jen" and he knows it.
I grew up with good, God-fearing, moral Baptists who believed that from time to time, God just had to kill some kids. Thankfully, using empathy and the Golden Rule, I rejected the twisted morality I was taught and instead learned to treat my fellow humans with deeper kindness and respect. Run for the hills kids!
"Lean not on your own understanding."Proverbs 3:5
@@freedom1557"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13
"You can take any sentence out of any book and completely misconstrue the meaning of the entire chapter and authors intent."- Some librarian in some forum probably
The true light is within us. It is something no book, person, or deity has the privilege to provide us.
@tripezius1 most 'Athiests' , which are really skeptics, are not against God. Nor endorsing a stance on the theological definition of God. Rather, it is a manifestation of long history of generational traumas the church has exacted against the public. The church has seldom been anything but an embarrassment to its God. The thought of having to survive in an eternity of torture or oblivion is excruciating, but the thought of having to spend eternity in a realm populated by Christians isn't any less so.
Do one on Judaism
No book needed! ❤❤❤
Thank you for your hard work, I enjoyed it very much.
"There is a war being fought right now, all around you- and it is More real than the chair you sit on now" LMAO.... I'm on the Toilet😂
I sure as heck hope that toilets real, I'd hate to clean that up
In the SubGenius Prescriptures, the toilet is the Throne of Righteousness. It is good and fitting that you should be contemplating the Word of Satan in the Excremeditation Chamber. Bonus points for LMAO. Proceed!
@@thomasfoster7387 "The Twenty-four Elders and the Four Animals fell to their knees and worshiped God on his Throne, praising, Amen! Yes! Hallelujah!"
And God spoke "Anyone got any toilet paper?"
And a real explosion occurred!
In those days did many things come to pass... Hail Satan!@@Mcfreddo
This could legit be shown on an educational adult swim the creativity and production are so good. Really hope the work and dedication that must have gone into this project gets the recognition it rightfully deserves.
Fully un-humbled, Lannister. The recognition in the comments section has been really gratifying. We rejoice! Please share far & wide. Amen.
Now your truth perhaps? Amen 🙄
This should be shown on a kids education channel…..To stop the brainwashing….
I was also thinking of "Adult Swim"
@@SATANSGUIDE I feel like you went a little easy on the morals section. Doesn’t the Bible also advocate child rape, and you only mentioned slavery briefly once. Also, Satan is one hot daddy! What’s Satan’s stance on homosexuality?
Damn, wasn't expecting Satan to be quite so... handsome.
I once felt guilty in taking a born-again and JW to task over their beliefs - feeling guilty at destroying their faith.
You sorta feel bad, as when you destroy the arguments for God. You feel bad, as you know that those that hold those views are intolerant, ignorant and fuelled by self-loathing.
But after seeing this.....I feel so so much better.
As an agnostic I never expected to stay an entire hour and a half watching a video about the bible, but it was so damn good and entertaining that time passed flying. I learned a lot too
The funny thing about this is, the existence of the bible or whatever it contains has no meaning regarding the question if an omnipotent entity along the lines of a "god" exists or not *g*
The bible is a great example of the length people WILL try to force, extort, scam and con other people into a position in which the forcing, extorting, scamming and conning people will hold authority about them
What do you think the phrase, "as an agnostic" means?
Follow-up question, in addition to being an agnostic, are you theist or atheist?
@@CliffSedge-nu5fv I am neither theist or atheist. I believe that humans can not possible comprehend the nature of the afterlife and God, if there is any, and therefore we can not prepare to what happens after death. But I still find interesting to hear about people interpretations about God and the afterlife.
@@CliffSedge-nu5fv I don't think you know what agnostic means, or you wouldn't ask the second question. It means 'I don't know'. Neither for nor against. I personally would add that I refuse to be put in a category of somebody else's choice.
@@rbdogwoodit actually means “without knowledge” someone can be an agnostic theist which claims they believe but they don’t know for sure, or an agnostic atheist who doesn’t believe in any god but doesn’t know for sure.
These titles mean whatever the person identifying as them means though, so he was more asking how this dude identifies his beliefs on religion.
When I started watching I was not expecting the level of content or video production I saw. I was only going to watch a couple minutes but stayed for the entire hour and a half. Incredibly well done.
Triple-blessed are those who watch the entire flick. Thank you for posting and sharing.
Same.
Yes, Thanks for the colorful talking felt or most of us "Adults" would not have stayed to learn anything.
Same here.
Same, clicked on it to see what it was and ended up watching the entire thing. I watch a lot of counterapologetics content on yt and it can get very old, and I wasn't expected this to be amazing. But it was.
As an ex-Christian, this long video was very interesting and unique. I honestly don't know where or who else to turn to, even after I left the Christianity.
But I'm looking forward to seeing more of this. Hail Satan!❤👑
Hey I still believe in a creator even though I'm an ex-Christian.
@@ROFLeperchaun Same, but why? How do you still believe in a Creator?
Satan is hot.
This is giving early 2000s cartoon vibe and im completely here for it
"Let's take a few minutes to reflect on why we think genocide is wrong in the first place."
Believe it or not, this is a great exercise to develop your own moral compass. Why do we think this thing is right? Why do we think it's wrong? Don't just assume it's right or wrong simply because someone told you so. Genocide is wrong. But WHY??? Answering this question will strengthen your understanding of morality.
Basic response: Genocide is wrong because I don't want people to commit genocide against me.
Better response: Genocide is wrong because I recognize no moral system by which the wholesale extermination of an ethnic group or national identity could be justified.
Best response: Genocide is OK if god says so.
Amen, @minetruly!
The golden rule of Christians is actually "do onto others before they do onto you."
@@shassett79 By what standard is genocide wrong?
Also, which group in the Bible experienced genocide?
@@shantilus By my standards. And a global flood comes to mind.
The art direction and stylistic choices in this video, everything from the humor and voice acting to the music and covers are amazing.
I am pretty familiar with biblical scholarship and like you said in the video these are all pretty "standard stuff". And still, I've watched this three times already because it's just so entertaining. Kudos to everyone involved.
Double-blessings for repeat viewings!
@@SATANSGUIDE thanks satan
Priests aren't kidding when they say Satan is handsome, huff
The creators of this documentary should get donations for this. What I have been learning about the past 3 years is compacted neatly in this video.
This should be mandatory viewing in all US schools.
I’ve been an atheist for pretty much my entire life, but still have a good amount of religious trauma because the people around me are not. This video helped me work through some of that, especially all of those kids’ songs and stage plays and etc. that are genuinely painful for me to think about. So, thank you. Even leaving that aside, I’m beyond impressed by the quality of the actual content here. The research, animation, and even just the joke-writing are beyond well done. While I personally didn’t learn too much new information from this, seeing it all packaged so coherently and thoughtfully honestly made my day. I’ll be sharing it around, too, as it seems really approachable, and addresses these points more confidently than I ever could. Truly brilliant work. ❤
Un-humbled, thank you. Blessed are those who share SATAN'S GUIDE.
Even if you don't want to follow the Bible that doesn't mean you can't believe there's a creator of life.
Please make the next creator a pluralist, @@jacktorrance2633. Had enough of the group-privileging gods.
24:40
"I hate to pump the breaks on biblical inerrancy"
"Pump the breaks? THIS is the open highway!"
"And the check engine light just went on"
I quote this almost daily now lol
You warm my writer's felt heart.
I agreed to meet with my moms pastor. In exchange, she had to watch a video of my choice. That was in the summer, and I told her im cashing out my chips with this. She and I were talking about the bible today, and she kept saying she's not a biblical scholar, so a lot of the historical claims she couldn't back up.
I told her I knew a documentary that could help with that.
May the scales fall away from her eyes. Fully un-humbled!
Okay but like Satan is really cute in this artstyle-
this is precisely what can happen when felt gets into the wrong hands
What does that mean?
Oh, it is certainly the right hands ;>
It’s flannel, Jared.
Felt is a gateway drug
@@lindap.5120HAH
coincidentally, I watched this on Good Friday
👉👈
Give this masterpiece a proper animation and PLASTER it on every TV station on the planet ASAFP.
Proper animation? You hurt my PNG-every-2-frames felt heart!
@@SATANSGUIDE I don’t mean to bash it; the style feels nostalgic. Like PBS Kids nostalgic. I just think it could be incredible with a more fluid style. Either way, amazing work. 👍
@@imperatordei6615 I hear you, but this was a no-budget affair which means I had to learn to animate. I couldn't hire someone. Our quality goal was season 1 South Park.
Whoever voiced Satan did an awesome job.
It sounds life Seth with the Thinking Atheist
5:50 "Blessed with permanent employment" really funny how he said it😂😂
@@FenixFandango I'd believe it. He was the host for a radio show and he also voiced the audio version of his own book. So he already has experience for various voice related jobs.
@@FenixFandango Reminds me of the narrator from The Binding of Isaac (the game, not the story)
Is it Netenyahu?
Fun Fact: This is sort of how The Great Schism happened in Catholicism. The printing press was invented, more people learned to read, and more people had access to Bibles. As people learned for themselves the started realizing pastors and other clergy members were withholding information and practically manipulating them. So lots of people broke away and started forming their own sects. That's why to this day there are still tons of minor practices of Christianity
Technological inventions, including the printing press, always lead to major upheavals. Martin Luther would have been a nobody if the printing press came along 50 years before or after. There would be some other dude wearing the Protestant crown.
The Great Schism was in 1054. The printing press wasn't invented until 1440 (almost 400 years later).
@@dianamiller3307 To be more specific 1448 where Gutenberg first took a loan to fund his invention to mass production. Also i think the Author meant the Schism of the Protestant and Catholic church which happened in 1517 (Luther hammering his thesis on the wall of the Wittenberger Schlosskiche)
The problem with this hypothesis is that there is not significant spread of literacy in 16 hundrets HRRDN and the printing press was developed in 1448 by Gutenberg so there are 60 years inbetween those two dates. Apart from that there was no standard German dialect at the time. Luther used High German which is a sort of Middle German dialect but no one would understand it in bavaria (south) or Schleswig (north). I think what played more of a part here is just that people and especially counts were tired by the authority the Catholic church had. There is a good reason the Tudors started their own church in England.
@@Tenshi694 good point but it's Tudors
I am catholic and because catechism teachers couldn’t help me understand faith and separate it from logic brought me a crisis of faith. I met with a bishop and theologians in my travels that helped me understand a more personal approach to Catholicism.
This type of videos help smarter people understand faith
Masterpiece:) Did you get all this talent from God? UwU
The Lord willed it, advance to Go
holy shit the use of felt characters to tell stories just unlocked a deep memory of when i was in a christian preschool wtfff
This seems like blasphemy
Same 😂
I've never been to a Sunday school that allowed tv
Almost like this is adapted from some of the ways evangelicals and the like have been brainwashing their own kids with religious children's programming.
bro the felt characters and all those childrens songs activated my fight or flight
I'm 61 and grew up as a baptist, methodist, and eventually jehovahs witness and so was hesitant to view this. But you really brought out concerns I've had simmering below the surface for years. And at 36 mins in, to hear these pastors justify the killing of Canaanite children as mercy..blows my mind. This is an amazing piece of work. And the way you chose to present it via a humorous mixed media format is just brilliant. It's 2am here and I'm hooked and will watch till the end.
You've warmed my felt heart with this review. Thank you!
2am here too!
Ya and it blows my mind that you find it calming to trust a caricature of Satan who also killed people, ruin people's lives, and is a reason why the world became crap. And who doesn't care about because Satan is a failure who screwed up and does not care about anybody but himself, and who is a jerk and the accuser of humanity, and who is afraid of Jesus Christ and his power because he knows that his fate will lie in the lake of fire, you trust the devil? a liar and a murderer. What I am commenting here is not lying about this channel or Satan himself, this is genuinely who the snake is,
61 year old 40K fan?? *thick new york accent* geht owwwda 'ere!
@@goofyahhgooberprodBLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!
The idea of just believing in myself and nature feels more peaceful.
This is honestly one of the best video I've come across in the entirety of this platform. Kudos to you creators.
"I rebuke you, Satan."
"Thanks Jen, noted.", that was gold.
The amount of work in this is wild. 10/10 man I hope you produce more.
10/10? Our film is inerrant! Voting for the next SATAN'S GUIDE is open at SATANSGUIDE.com
@@SATANSGUIDE Seems like it's the Qu'rans turn! Though I would love to see the book of mormon too!
@@SATANSGUIDEHa!
@@SATANSGUIDE yeah as a devout Christian who did not want to watch this video I would love seeing you take on the Qu'ran.
@@SATANSGUIDEthanks Jen, noted.
Hearing all the kids sing the songs unveiled so many forgotten memories of Vacation Bible School omg