They like to say that, but then if you're nice and approach them they'll probably appreciate it. Never listen to a girls advice about approaching girls, they don't know what they want most of the time 😆
Yeah I think you still could approach and say I don't mean to interrupt but I just had to stop and tell you that I thought you look great in that outfit. But I do think women use the phone as a block as a defense mechanism. But then one of these days they probably wish they would have not been doing it because they want to have been approached
I’ve respectfully gone up to girls, being a perfect gentleman and on one or two occasions in my college days I literally had a girl look at me with disgust and say “ewwww you’re gross” and walk away. I’ll never forget how that made me feel, she was super mean to me for no reason when I had put myself in a vulnerable place and tried to approach her. I don’t fear getting rejected, but it’s horrible to be treated like dirt for no reason. If she had just said no thanks, or I have a boyfriend or anything else it wouldn’t have been something I’ll remember forever. Every time I think of approaching a girl I always wonder if she’s going to say “ewww you’re gross”.
She was just a bitch bruh. A better girl would have said no thanks or no,sorry! Can't generalize on a single interaction. I get the experience was bad but u gotta keep going and learning and perform better approaches each next time.
@@PancakesforEveryone I think WheatWaffles did a video on how valuable cold approach is depending on your attractiveness. TLDR; Unless you are a solid 7 or above, you're almost certainly wasting your time. As an average guy, you are going to have to do a HUGE number of cold pproaches to get a tiny number of dates. A really poor return on time/effort invested. Oh, and because you will have been unselective in such a relentless mass numbers approach the chances are the few girls that say yes will be mid/unattractive. Imagine grinding away long term on cold approach, finally getting a date and realising you dont actually fancy her anyway! I think cold apporach is great at overcoming approach anxiety, building unshakeable will and becoming indifferent to rejection. The skills you develop in cold approach will help you in social circle game and in night game. So there's that. But unless you are good looking its going to give you a very low strike rate.
Because of the Dating apps guys have all the options 😅 yeah right! He doesn’t approach you in a cafe cause he doesn’t wanna look like a fool if you reject him. Girls these days.. they just don’t live in reality
@@Dillonkg1 well way more than you, you literaly think the world revolves around you to the point you take rejection personally talk about being DELUSIONAL🤡🤡🤡🤣
a handsome guy who's 6 ft tall, got also rejected and it took him almost 1 hour to get 2 succesful approaches! Could you imagine what happened to an average guy?
I love this! I’ve been approaching women in person this past week and I’ve enjoyed how fun it is to talk to someone. I do admire how you seek the ones of your type rather any random girl. I’ll put this into practice the next I go out. I know what I like 😌
@@marvin2678 by reading books on how to talk to people. It’s your social skills that’ll make you a man of high value. You can begin by going to the mall and saying hi. Doesn’t matter if they say hi back or not. The point is for you to be the one saying it- getting over any anxieties. (Sorry it took so long to reply)
The obvious prerequisite for approaching women, or dating women in general, is that you should have some drip on, looking fresh, got a stylish haircut, beard neatly trimmed, smelling good, and be fit. Have your looks maximized first. Otherwise, you may have bad experiences and you’ll forever use that one time as a reason to never approach again. The second thing is touched on in this video and it’s using your damn brain. Use your social skills and emotional intelligence to discern when it’s the right time. This is extremely important to women for so many reasons. Such as: Knowing when it’s the right time to be vulnerable. Knowing when it’s the optimal time to go for the physical escalation. Knowing how to read her moods/energy(even through text) to tell when your connection with her is building momentum, so that way you can discern when it’s appropriate to move things forward or to just let it flow a bit more first. It also allows you to be more sensual with her, having that ability to pull her into your frame, to bring her out of her head, and into the moment with you. This results in time seeming to slow down, every time you touch her, it heightens her senses to the absolute max. Idk what you call that, I guess just sensuality? Being connected with your own emotions as well, because if you aren’t, you couldn’t do this. So, with all of that in mind, if you show her that you don’t have that feel for the subtle energies/vibes of a room or situation, she will be turned off and react accordingly. I kind of understand why women sort of expect me. To just “read their minds”, because if you’re connected with your own feelings and you’re highly self aware, you almost can read their minds, at least, read their subtle energies and feelings, which is essentially the same as reading their mind. Women operate on an emotional wavelength, rather than a logical one. This is something I have a hard time articulating to people, but it’s definitely a thing. Maybe Ben can explain it, idk. But I’m fairly certain when women say they want a man who’s vulnerable and is in touch with his femininity and emotions, that’s what they’re talking about. Side note: Watch Ben. That’s how you handle rejection, with humor. Brush that shit off and keep going. Can’t get all butthurt and let it ruin your day or even the rest of your life, holding onto that one moment forever.
@@graywolfairsoft7968 To be fair, I don’t know what the fuck I was talking about either. Lmao. Sheesh. Must’ve been sleep posting or something. Yes, I actually do that sometimes. I’ll be responding to someone on TH-cam or texting someone back and I’ll fall asleep while still texting. The result of this is usually hilarious or it just makes no sense at all. I sent a long message to my ex once, rebuking her, calling her names, was being a dick the whole time. Towards the end of the message, it made zero sense. I was rambling and said something like this at the very end after roasting her basically: “*beep, beep* *honk, honk* 🤡 I’m fucking GOD bitch!” 😂 🤷♂️ Damn I wish I could find the text I’d copy and paste it. It’s ridiculous and hilarious. I think I called her a Narcissist a few times too, which is ironic lol I’m wondering.. the 47 people who liked my comment.. What are they smoking, bro? 😂 They’re like “woahhhh, that’s like.. totally deep dudeee” I legitimately couldn’t understand what I was saying when I read over it just now lol
A couple weeks ago I smiled at this cute girl in the grocery store. She smiled back so I decided to take a shot and approach her. I asked her what she thought about all the girls on tik tok complaining about guys never approaching them in public and she was like "I don't know" I then asked her if she would be upset if I told her I liked her and wanted to get to know her and she nodded her head and said "extremely". Girls (American Girls I mean) DON'T want more average guys approaching them, they want more rich guys who look like you and Henry Caville to approach them more. I think your methods are like singing. Anyone can sing but only a select few have the talent to actually be successful with them.
Thanks for making this video Benjamin! Earlier today I saw this cute girl at a restaurant sitting by herself. I got my food and starting walking towards the tables near her. She looked up at me a smiled, and I smiled back. I wanted to stop and ask her if she wouldn't mind if I sat with her, but instead I just kept walking and found another table to sit by myself. I instantly regretted it and I've been kicking myself all day because I knew I really should have approached her, and now I'll probably never see her again. This video really helped reinforce that women want to be approached and I'll try not to chicken out next time!
The woman at 4:15 said to have genuine conversation with them and then make a approach (in a sense ask for number). I don't think that matters a lot, if she decides that you aren't attractive enough, nothing you say will matter.. that's just the truth.
Believe me, they get approached to a whole lot, you have no idea. Who approaches them is the key. And yes, your attitude counts, not just to make them get interested in you but to go out there and prove yourself you can do it no matter the result.
The idea of proving it to yourself is the easiest way to push out fear, because it takes away the pressure of the random results of the girl's approval. The pressure is now on the completely manageable outcome of you controlling yourself. If the girl likes you, bonus.
noticed the confidence part is true, because you could kind of hear a not so confident approach at first and as he gained confidence it started working. I watched this because i want to start trying this soon since i am now off social media and dating apps :)
I grew up primarily around women and have a decent amount of friends that are women and it’s constant “I hate when guys approach like this..” or “that made me uncomfortable and now I don’t wanna be here” So it instilled a fear in me that I would be the reason someone isn’t enjoying their night, but at the same time I’m beginning to recognize there are normal ways to approach women and ways that are gross. So I’ll definitely put myself out there more, I’ve also grown more confident in myself than I’ve ever been. 🤙 wish me luck
She said it was her preference actually. Also both men and women incorrectly state their requirements when it's their preference all the time. The reality is people are way more likely to bend these things if they like the person, don't get hung up on this stuff. Pretty much every person with dating experience will have had previous partners who did not match within their range of acceptable or preferable qualities
Okay, good pointers and all but... Thing is, most people seem unavailable nowadays. Take a girl who gets your attention because she rides in the same bus or train daily, you would like to approach her, but she is wearing earphones, looks tired and is glued to her damn phone. There's no way you can't help but feel it would be intrusive just to attempt approaching her.
This is incredible content! Thank you Benjamin! The commentary from 9:35 onward about the process and looking at the journey as being fun is really great! Appreciate the encouragement from women here to approach and show confidence! I think next question is: what exactly shows confidence in an approach?
I knew those answers would be all over the place from the women. A woman can "look" at you and not be labeled as creepy, but if a guy does it, it's considered creepy.
Way harder at nighttime Benjamin , def less women willing to talk to a stranger. I had to laugh , you are a young version of me! It lasted until I was in my 40s met an incredible girl in her 20s and now 20 years later very happy with 2 kids. Its true back in my time we had to be more aggressive , glad it was like that for me. Had fun!
Not related much to your content, but all these girls are so gorgeous, love their styles also. Hope can live NYC in a while someday. Back to the point, personally I think that men nowadays have too many options because of us (women get easily attached to a man) And it not important how you approach, but after that process do you have enough patience to know her more or just asap to satisfy your ego. Got some men asked my number randomly, but they just need a date right away, and of course they look somewhere else when I said "not ready" to them.
Heard of the study that found 66% of men age 18-29 are single, havent been on any dates, or has sex in the past year. A lot of men go years and decades even without going on any dates or having any sex. Women are out of touch with reality.
you're tripping girl, most men has zero options, only the good looking guys you see, the rest is so invisible it's scary the reality you're living in is so different from the average guy. Most of my friend, not specially good looking but not ugly neither, has actually 1 or 2 options in a year maybe! The amont of work you have to do on yourself, your hygiene (of course that's a minimum I would say), your culture your money, your intelligence, your social skills (that you have to train by actually dealing with many people and many girls, not everyone has this chance cuz you can't practice, during this phase you're just creepy so no one wants to deal with your practice). You don't realize in my opinion what's the life of the average guy.
"Women get easily attached to a Man"...lady idk where you live, but seems like a totally different place from the entire world. Like a paradise for men ngl...😂 "Men have too many options" idk what people you are with, especially guys...but trust me, most DON'T. Not 3, not 2, not 1...ZERO...0. I mean I guess you have some chad looking guy friends who talk about how sone girl's mad for em...but the average guy living an average life in a city has like 1 or 2 girls, whom he talks to occasionally. AND THAT'S IT. Maybe try talking to some guy outta your group, you'll know what the scene really is. And I don't mean its miserable for guys...many guys don't approach voluntarily, but more often than not get rejected when they do. And lemme tell you (in case you have never been rejected), rejection hurts. Like hell. Lowers the confidence exponentially. And also, why would a guy "wait" for you when you said you weren't ready? Like if you and me are talking for a while, and you ask me to go on a date, and I say I am not ready...would you legitimate still wait for me, or go for that other guy you found cute at the mall or in the parking lot...?? 8/10 people (men or women) would move forward in today's times. Its 2024, people hardly prove themselves worthy of your time. Don't have time for all that "not ready" BS...🤷🏻♀️
"Men nowadays have too many options..." Idk what kind of guy friends you have, maybe some chad exquisite looking ones, but trust me when I say this, an average looking guy, who lives an average life in a city like NY (or any other) DOESN'T HAVE MANY OPTIONS. Maybe 1 or 2 girls whom he talks to occasionally, but thats about it. I'd suggest try to talking to some guy outta your friend group, and you'll know how it really is. "Women get easily attached to a Man" lady, you making me feel like you live in a heaven or smtg. That too a heaven for Men...😂 I mean I understand that when you genuinely connect to someone (man or woman) on an emotional level, you'll get attached obv...but the thing is, in today's times when Social Media has boasted an average girl to think she's a super model or smtg, NO guy except a Billionaire who looks no less than a Hollywood Star can fill up her "standards" (I like to call them delusions btw...✌🏻). And its not always like guys are all miserable (some are, but a small proportion...), but rejection hurts. A LOT. And it also lowers your confidence to approach someone again, which is why guys find it convenient on dating apps rather than irl. Maybe tell the mean ones to be a little subtle and direct while rejecting a guy, and maybe...I say maybe, you'll see it improving somehow...🤷🏻♀️ And what do you really mean by "satisfy your ego"..?? Like a hookup or smtg? And if so, did he or you not make it clear in the first place what you guys really wanted? If No, that's honestly on you...🤷🏻♀️ Also, why would a guy "wait" for you when you already said you are "not ready"..?? Like do you intentionally wanna waste his time, or is it some attachment issues you bringing up? Ain't no one got time for that "not ready" BS...Man or Woman, everyone's hella busy in today's world, and if you are "not ready"... I'll probably look for someone who is...🤷🏻♀️
This mostly applies only to guys who are good looking 7+/10. When the girls say they want men to approach them they think of hot men, not the average, Just saying, take the video's message lightly
@@leandro6925 I'd say i'm like a six out of ten. I go to the gym, and dress well, but I'm short. I have like a 30% success rate of getting numbers and instagrams, but I only meet up with like 5% of that initial 30. It's all about confidence and the way you carry yourself. It gets easier the more you do it! Alnother part Is actually the actual DMing / texting, but that's also all about practise. All the women I've talked to have been super nice though. Everyone loves being approached. It's a nice gesture if nothing else.
And those guys wonder why they don’t get enough girls or dates for that matter, if they don’t approach or think it’s too rude to approach or disrespectful. My gosh!
75% of women want to be approached more by tall muscular chads, not out of shape guys. That's what that statistic means. It doesn't mean "ooh 75% of want to be approached by ALL guys"
The girl at 1:16 CLEARLY has no idea what it's like to be a dude on a dating app ( at least Tinder ). Her ignorance frustrates me. " why approach someone who's cute irl when you can match with someone cuter on a dating app " that's not what guys do. That's what GIRLS do. The reason why guys don't do that is because they know they STILL won't match with all the " cuter " girls they swipe on, even if the guys look decent. But when meeting girls irl it's EASIER to get accepted because women judge guys based on more than just a few photos. I believe the reason why those guys did not approach her that time is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. It's because the guys were afraid they would be made fun of or accused of being a creep. ...which is THE TRUTH to why a lot of guys don't approach girls ( and maybe prefer swiping on a dating app ). Now there are some dating apps/sites where guys will get as many matches as girls do on Tinder, but Tinder is still the " mainstream " one ( at least it is in my city ). Thankfully my city recently announced irl dating events. We're gonna make it brothers...
Great video but i think you made one mistake about challenge at the end of videos. I think you needed to be clear about wanting to hang out later/some other day in romantic way. Like mentioning date or something because they might simply see you as just instagram folower or even forget to mention boyfriend. But overall great video
Im autistic and I struggle so much to understand women. I tried cold approaching a few times, and if they like being cold approached why do they play so hard, and just seem to want to leave or ignore you....
well obviously they do , if its a good approach by a guy who isn't awkward or he is their type or both , you should do it anyway though because volume is king
those two women: drink/dinner on you, chanel or louis v bag, must be 6ft... this is why so many guys are scared of approaching - they fear they will run into women like that...
The women on this video should appreciate the power they have in their 20s and early 30s in the dating marketplace, they really do not have a clue how difficult dating is for the majority of men.
Pro tip: The girls who are “dressed up” are usually “marketing” themselves, so they’re more open to being approached as opposed to someone who’s wearing an N95 mask 😂
I feel like people on dating apps have some sort of insecurity or like in some complicated situation, or they have no intentions so they dont respond. They’re on the app just because. It’s weird
Cool video, Those two that mentioned chanel and Louis viton they are gold diggers nothing new. About the cold approach part amazing content only those who tried and done it consistently know how hard it is, by experience i know getting the number is one part of it. They can give you the number just an excuse to not say directly no to avoid conflict (women's nature) some of them will not answer after you text them and some of them will is part of the game. It all comes down to your approach if you go approach them being weak, hesitating and nervous you've lost that approached all we need to know about womens is that they dispise weak men you can´t be weak you have that example when the women from the video call out those guys. It all comes down to your ability to handle Social Pressure (tension) if you apply it in a controlled manner they will see you as confident because you handle pressure weak guys crumble under pressure
They all want to be approached by Ben. If you tall, handsome, with the appearance of wealth and status. You won't have a problem. This has been true for the history of civilization.
From my experience and this video has shown the same. Dont do to much to impress the girl. Just be normal, smile and talk. A no is just part of the game
The reason men don’t approach women anymore in this time is because most women would say something completely negative about them approaching them.Guys listen to them rather just end up going to jail over small talk
Bro, great video but you’re 6’1💀. Im not convinced by the success of this experiment until you get a shorter guy to do this 😂. It’ll be a fun video, make it happen!
It's not just the fear of rejection, if a women should want too she can get you fired from your job because your classed as creepy. There doesn't need to be a valid reason to be classes as creepy.
He got ignored cause his approach angle was off you have to stop and literally face the girl. The girl will match your level of investment in the pursuing the interaction he was half in and half out on that one
I did day game and night game for 1.5 years, 0 results. Then I used dating apps, i got below average dates, I dont wanna settle with anything average. Don’t know what to do
I'd don't lose hope bud. Keep going for it. And try more real life approaches rather than dating apps and online dating, cause that really helps you evaluate your approach and your likings too. You only get better the more you keep trying. No one's perfect right from the start. You just gotta keep going. You'll slowly realise what you are really lacking, and what need improvement. Also, try more day approaches rather than night ones. Girls tend to be more free minded in the day outside, than at night. Good Luck...👍✌🏻🥂
I'm nice looking guy but... I'm short (5'6) and even I do have self confidence I'm not comedian. I approached many times in many different situations - still NO success! I got approaches only from woman that are totally not my type, and my target girl type in 100% cases looks for tall guys.
The problem is not you, if you have girl that like to talk to you, then the problem are the women you looking for are full of them self, and since you dont have extra $$$$, they wont take you lol Just try to find someone that likes you like a normal person.
It's honestly easy for women to say we should be the ones approaching. At the end of the day they aren't the ones who have the fear of being rejected or being called weird.
You're right; most women can't stand being rejected and appreciate that societal norms often place the onus on men to make the first move. Women typically have more options, as they are often approached, while men usually don't have much choice in the matter. It is what it is.
Who cares. Grow a pair and get over the fear of rejection and being called weird. You think you’re going to get anywhere worried about what could happen?
"I know if they're lying about their height or not." Yeah every woman wants to date a guy who is over 6 feet. So I am over 6 feet so this isn't a problem for me but the vast majority of guys aren't over 6 feet. Most men are disqualified for approaching women. They're not hot or they're too short or they're too broke. Women just don't like most men.
@@mickaellandry9726 I have approached women in the past but more importantly I have a lot of women who are friends and clients and yes they typically think the majority of men are ugly. Furthermore there have been surveys and studies which have come to the same conclusion as well. Now do most women find me ugly? I can only conclude no they don't but I have my own problems with dating. But that's a completely different topic. But look at dating apps where the top percentile of men are the ones getting all the matches and average men get overlooked. Frankly women don't find men attractive all that often. I mean they have the right to their preferences but the average man has a difficult time getting the average woman to talk to him. Meanwhile she's more than willing to get taken advantage of by a really attractive man who sees her as just a little fun. He uses her and discards her but she now thinks that's her standard. So she will always compare men to that guy and other guys will never measure up. So is the normal dating scene for average men? Certainly not. Average men can't compete with what these women can get access to. But out of curiosity how many women have you approached? How many women have you talked to? How many women have you talked with as just people and gotten unguarded and honest opinions from?
@@darrenskjoelsvoldi’m 6’1 light skinned and get called handsome all the time and I’m still getting rejected in person lol Instagram seems to be more effective tbh
Bro I got the course and it’s 💎
Would love to get it, but i'm a student so can't afford them. I'll have to stick to the videos for now. Also getting in the practise every day
@@danielmella4927 I got it like a week or 2 ago when it was 144 for both but ya the yt videos are still really good
@@danielmella4927 how much is it ?
they are assuming the topic of conversation is the top 2% man
lol
“Did you know that over 100% of MEN wish that they were approached more?” That should be the fucking quote for the ladies!
Women aren’t wired to have rizz. Besides, they don’t need it.
You're the one that wants to meet her. You need to approach her.
Start working out taking care of yourself and u will sense if girls are noticing you, if so then just approach and score
@@Joseph_M1 plz calm down
Step 1: be attractive
Step 2: don’t be unattractive
Remember it’s not harassment if you’re attractive
😂😂 excuses
@@1ledluverjlp Attraction is relative. Look around you. Plenty of men have women.
Lmao
Don't approach "if she's busy on the phone", meaning, all the time. Then, they wonder why they don't get approached.
They like to say that, but then if you're nice and approach them they'll probably appreciate it. Never listen to a girls advice about approaching girls, they don't know what they want most of the time 😆
I feel like she more meant talking to someone, if she is looking down at her phone shes most likely bored and occupying herself
Yeah I think you still could approach and say I don't mean to interrupt but I just had to stop and tell you that I thought you look great in that outfit. But I do think women use the phone as a block as a defense mechanism. But then one of these days they probably wish they would have not been doing it because they want to have been approached
"by hot men". As in the one percenters. Otherwise you're creepy.
"by hot men". As in the one percenters. Otherwise you're creepy.
I’ve respectfully gone up to girls, being a perfect gentleman and on one or two occasions in my college days I literally had a girl look at me with disgust and say “ewwww you’re gross” and walk away.
I’ll never forget how that made me feel, she was super mean to me for no reason when I had put myself in a vulnerable place and tried to approach her.
I don’t fear getting rejected, but it’s horrible to be treated like dirt for no reason.
If she had just said no thanks, or I have a boyfriend or anything else it wouldn’t have been something I’ll remember forever.
Every time I think of approaching a girl I always wonder if she’s going to say “ewww you’re gross”.
She was just a bitch bruh.
A better girl would have said no thanks or no,sorry!
Can't generalize on a single interaction.
I get the experience was bad but u gotta keep going and learning and perform better approaches each next time.
yeah, that never happened
@@laxjsI disagree, it sounds realistic
It takes guts man, continue trying💪
@@nachovazquez007 I’m working out, eating healthier and trying to get to a point where they’ll approach me instead lol.
"By hot men, yes"
Thats the key!
Rule 1: be attractive
Rule 2: Don’t be Unattractive
@@PancakesforEveryone
I think WheatWaffles did a video on how valuable cold approach is depending on your attractiveness.
TLDR; Unless you are a solid 7 or above, you're almost certainly wasting your time.
As an average guy, you are going to have to do a HUGE number of cold pproaches to get a tiny number of dates.
A really poor return on time/effort invested.
Oh, and because you will have been unselective in such a relentless mass numbers approach the chances are the few girls that say yes will be mid/unattractive.
Imagine grinding away long term on cold approach, finally getting a date and realising you dont actually fancy her anyway!
I think cold apporach is great at overcoming approach anxiety, building unshakeable will and becoming indifferent to rejection.
The skills you develop in cold approach will help you in social circle game and in night game. So there's that.
But unless you are good looking its going to give you a very low strike rate.
Always has been
That one lady will give it up for a Chanel bag
@@PancakesforEveryone Rule 3: Buy her a Channel LOL
Because of the Dating apps guys have all the options 😅 yeah right!
He doesn’t approach you in a cafe cause he doesn’t wanna look like a fool if you reject him.
Girls these days.. they just don’t live in reality
That has always been the case, its called appraoch anxiety.
The issue is people are less social in general
That's assuming they ever did live in reality.
@@Dillonkg1 well way more than you, you literaly think the world revolves around you to the point you take rejection personally talk about being DELUSIONAL🤡🤡🤡🤣
@@Dillonkg1 It’s hard to believe but there are actually a few who have some self awareness about what’s happening
@@Fiazco there are always exceptions to the rule.
They want to be approached by "hot men"...otherwise, break out the grape whistles and call the " ugly police."
Grape whistles... 😅😅😅
@@dadsapp 😀
Well when was the last time you approached a girl?
@@xMckingwill The Late Jurassic period, lol!
@@eriksturdevant8589damn bro you got the whole squad laughing 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐
"Do girls like ego boosts?" Yes. Will they be nice about it? Results may vary.
If you're not attractive they make a tic tok about it...
a handsome guy who's 6 ft tall, got also rejected and it took him almost 1 hour to get 2 succesful approaches! Could you imagine what happened to an average guy?
A life like hell.
My opinion, if he was at a good bar/club he would have done better.
I love this! I’ve been approaching women in person this past week and I’ve enjoyed how fun it is to talk to someone.
I do admire how you seek the ones of your type rather any random girl.
I’ll put this into practice the next I go out. I know what I like 😌
how did you start ?
@@marvin2678 by reading books on how to talk to people. It’s your social skills that’ll make you a man of high value. You can begin by going to the mall and saying hi. Doesn’t matter if they say hi back or not. The point is for you to be the one saying it- getting over any anxieties. (Sorry it took so long to reply)
@@JackTheLivingSkeletonCalaveraName of the Book???
The obvious prerequisite for approaching women, or dating women in general, is that you should have some drip on, looking fresh, got a stylish haircut, beard neatly trimmed, smelling good, and be fit. Have your looks maximized first. Otherwise, you may have bad experiences and you’ll forever use that one time as a reason to never approach again.
The second thing is touched on in this video and it’s using your damn brain. Use your social skills and emotional intelligence to discern when it’s the right time. This is extremely important to women for so many reasons. Such as:
Knowing when it’s the right time to be vulnerable. Knowing when it’s the optimal time to go for the physical escalation. Knowing how to read her moods/energy(even through text) to tell when your connection with her is building momentum, so that way you can discern when it’s appropriate to move things forward or to just let it flow a bit more first.
It also allows you to be more sensual with her, having that ability to pull her into your frame, to bring her out of her head, and into the moment with you. This results in time seeming to slow down, every time you touch her, it heightens her senses to the absolute max. Idk what you call that, I guess just sensuality? Being connected with your own emotions as well, because if you aren’t, you couldn’t do this.
So, with all of that in mind, if you show her that you don’t have that feel for the subtle energies/vibes of a room or situation, she will be turned off and react accordingly. I kind of understand why women sort of expect me. To just “read their minds”, because if you’re connected with your own feelings and you’re highly self aware, you almost can read their minds, at least, read their subtle energies and feelings, which is essentially the same as reading their mind. Women operate on an emotional wavelength, rather than a logical one.
This is something I have a hard time articulating to people, but it’s definitely a thing. Maybe Ben can explain it, idk. But I’m fairly certain when women say they want a man who’s vulnerable and is in touch with his femininity and emotions, that’s what they’re talking about.
Side note: Watch Ben. That’s how you handle rejection, with humor. Brush that shit off and keep going. Can’t get all butthurt and let it ruin your day or even the rest of your life, holding onto that one moment forever.
they are assuming the topic of conversation is the top 2% man
don't forget to take a shower and grow to above 6ft
I have not understand one thing what you wanted to say…..
@@graywolfairsoft7968 To be fair, I don’t know what the fuck I was talking about either. Lmao. Sheesh. Must’ve been sleep posting or something. Yes, I actually do that sometimes. I’ll be responding to someone on TH-cam or texting someone back and I’ll fall asleep while still texting. The result of this is usually hilarious or it just makes no sense at all.
I sent a long message to my ex once, rebuking her, calling her names, was being a dick the whole time. Towards the end of the message, it made zero sense. I was rambling and said something like this at the very end after roasting her basically: “*beep, beep* *honk, honk* 🤡 I’m fucking GOD bitch!”
😂 🤷♂️ Damn I wish I could find the text I’d copy and paste it. It’s ridiculous and hilarious. I think I called her a Narcissist a few times too, which is ironic lol
I’m wondering.. the 47 people who liked my comment.. What are they smoking, bro? 😂 They’re like “woahhhh, that’s like.. totally deep dudeee” I legitimately couldn’t understand what I was saying when I read over it just now lol
A couple weeks ago I smiled at this cute girl in the grocery store. She smiled back so I decided to take a shot and approach her. I asked her what she thought about all the girls on tik tok complaining about guys never approaching them in public and she was like "I don't know" I then asked her if she would be upset if I told her I liked her and wanted to get to know her and she nodded her head and said "extremely". Girls (American Girls I mean) DON'T want more average guys approaching them, they want more rich guys who look like you and Henry Caville to approach them more. I think your methods are like singing. Anyone can sing but only a select few have the talent to actually be successful with them.
Unfortunate you had to endure such
rudeness.
Brutal ...but very true.
If you are not her cup of tea looks wise they can sometimes be very rude/hostile
they are assuming the topic of conversation is the top 2% man
hahaha your comment made me laugh. Don't give up bro. A no is better than a what if.
Don't give up and try to not be resentful due to one interaction with that girl 👍
Thanks for making this video Benjamin! Earlier today I saw this cute girl at a restaurant sitting by herself. I got my food and starting walking towards the tables near her. She looked up at me a smiled, and I smiled back. I wanted to stop and ask her if she wouldn't mind if I sat with her, but instead I just kept walking and found another table to sit by myself. I instantly regretted it and I've been kicking myself all day because I knew I really should have approached her, and now I'll probably never see her again. This video really helped reinforce that women want to be approached and I'll try not to chicken out next time!
The woman at 4:15 said to have genuine conversation with them and then make a approach (in a sense ask for number). I don't think that matters a lot, if she decides that you aren't attractive enough, nothing you say will matter.. that's just the truth.
Believe me, they get approached to a whole lot, you have no idea. Who approaches them is the key. And yes, your attitude counts, not just to make them get interested in you but to go out there and prove yourself you can do it no matter the result.
The idea of proving it to yourself is the easiest way to push out fear, because it takes away the pressure of the random results of the girl's approval. The pressure is now on the completely manageable outcome of you controlling yourself.
If the girl likes you, bonus.
noticed the confidence part is true, because you could kind of hear a not so confident approach at first and as he gained confidence it started working. I watched this because i want to start trying this soon since i am now off social media and dating apps :)
We speak each other's unspoken language. You know what I'm going to say without me having to say it. I love you.😂
I grew up primarily around women and have a decent amount of friends that are women and it’s constant “I hate when guys approach like this..” or “that made me uncomfortable and now I don’t wanna be here”
So it instilled a fear in me that I would be the reason someone isn’t enjoying their night, but at the same time I’m beginning to recognize there are normal ways to approach women and ways that are gross. So I’ll definitely put myself out there more, I’ve also grown more confident in myself than I’ve ever been. 🤙 wish me luck
8:42 this woman first says she wouldn't date under 6'0 and then says a guy should be confident, even if he's 5'7. Wouldn't she reject him anyway?
She said it was her preference actually. Also both men and women incorrectly state their requirements when it's their preference all the time. The reality is people are way more likely to bend these things if they like the person, don't get hung up on this stuff. Pretty much every person with dating experience will have had previous partners who did not match within their range of acceptable or preferable qualities
Yeah she was being contradictory here. She advices guys to be confident but I'm 99% sure if you look at her dating history, most of them will be tall
bros doing gods work
A lady told me they “ always “ get hit on and it’s exhausting…and getting contact info doesn’t mean getting contact.
Okay, good pointers and all but... Thing is, most people seem unavailable nowadays. Take a girl who gets your attention because she rides in the same bus or train daily, you would like to approach her, but she is wearing earphones, looks tired and is glued to her damn phone. There's no way you can't help but feel it would be intrusive just to attempt approaching her.
They want to be approach not because they want to find love and partner , they just want validation
EXACTLY!
"By hot men, yes"
my confidence just got shattered
This is incredible content! Thank you Benjamin! The commentary from 9:35 onward about the process and looking at the journey as being fun is really great! Appreciate the encouragement from women here to approach and show confidence!
I think next question is: what exactly shows confidence in an approach?
Your body language, voice tonality, and ability to hold eye contact.
hahaha bro dayyyymm!! Definitly giving us hope!!! thanks!!!
i go to college parties,18+ clubs & parks,bus stops its easier than n person where baddies r out n about but i will practice those places more
I can't remember when was the last time a girl looked at me more than 2 seconds....
I knew those answers would be all over the place from the women. A woman can "look" at you and not be labeled as creepy, but if a guy does it, it's considered creepy.
Way harder at nighttime Benjamin , def less women willing to talk to a stranger. I had to laugh , you are a young version of me! It lasted until I was in my 40s met an incredible girl in her 20s and now 20 years later very happy with 2 kids. Its true back in my time we had to be more aggressive , glad it was like that for me. Had fun!
Bro you are the best, it feels much more organic way of doing, no tactics or physiological tricks. Excellent 👏🏿💯
Not related much to your content, but all these girls are so gorgeous, love their styles also. Hope can live NYC in a while someday.
Back to the point, personally I think that men nowadays have too many options because of us (women get easily attached to a man)
And it not important how you approach, but after that process do you have enough patience to know her more or just asap to satisfy your ego. Got some men asked my number randomly, but they just need a date right away, and of course they look somewhere else when I said "not ready" to them.
Heard of the study that found 66% of men age 18-29 are single, havent been on any dates, or has sex in the past year. A lot of men go years and decades even without going on any dates or having any sex. Women are out of touch with reality.
you're tripping girl, most men has zero options, only the good looking guys you see, the rest is so invisible it's scary the reality you're living in is so different from the average guy. Most of my friend, not specially good looking but not ugly neither, has actually 1 or 2 options in a year maybe! The amont of work you have to do on yourself, your hygiene (of course that's a minimum I would say), your culture your money, your intelligence, your social skills (that you have to train by actually dealing with many people and many girls, not everyone has this chance cuz you can't practice, during this phase you're just creepy so no one wants to deal with your practice). You don't realize in my opinion what's the life of the average guy.
"Women get easily attached to a Man"...lady idk where you live, but seems like a totally different place from the entire world. Like a paradise for men ngl...😂
"Men have too many options" idk what people you are with, especially guys...but trust me, most DON'T. Not 3, not 2, not 1...ZERO...0.
I mean I guess you have some chad looking guy friends who talk about how sone girl's mad for em...but the average guy living an average life in a city has like 1 or 2 girls, whom he talks to occasionally. AND THAT'S IT.
Maybe try talking to some guy outta your group, you'll know what the scene really is.
And I don't mean its miserable for guys...many guys don't approach voluntarily, but more often than not get rejected when they do.
And lemme tell you (in case you have never been rejected), rejection hurts. Like hell. Lowers the confidence exponentially.
And also, why would a guy "wait" for you when you said you weren't ready?
Like if you and me are talking for a while, and you ask me to go on a date, and I say I am not ready...would you legitimate still wait for me, or go for that other guy you found cute at the mall or in the parking lot...??
8/10 people (men or women) would move forward in today's times. Its 2024, people hardly prove themselves worthy of your time. Don't have time for all that "not ready" BS...🤷🏻♀️
"Men nowadays have too many options..." Idk what kind of guy friends you have, maybe some chad exquisite looking ones, but trust me when I say this, an average looking guy, who lives an average life in a city like NY (or any other) DOESN'T HAVE MANY OPTIONS. Maybe 1 or 2 girls whom he talks to occasionally, but thats about it.
I'd suggest try to talking to some guy outta your friend group, and you'll know how it really is.
"Women get easily attached to a Man" lady, you making me feel like you live in a heaven or smtg. That too a heaven for Men...😂
I mean I understand that when you genuinely connect to someone (man or woman) on an emotional level, you'll get attached obv...but the thing is, in today's times when Social Media has boasted an average girl to think she's a super model or smtg, NO guy except a Billionaire who looks no less than a Hollywood Star can fill up her "standards" (I like to call them delusions btw...✌🏻).
And its not always like guys are all miserable (some are, but a small proportion...), but rejection hurts. A LOT. And it also lowers your confidence to approach someone again, which is why guys find it convenient on dating apps rather than irl. Maybe tell the mean ones to be a little subtle and direct while rejecting a guy, and maybe...I say maybe, you'll see it improving somehow...🤷🏻♀️
And what do you really mean by "satisfy your ego"..?? Like a hookup or smtg? And if so, did he or you not make it clear in the first place what you guys really wanted? If No, that's honestly on you...🤷🏻♀️
Also, why would a guy "wait" for you when you already said you are "not ready"..?? Like do you intentionally wanna waste his time, or is it some attachment issues you bringing up?
Ain't no one got time for that "not ready" BS...Man or Woman, everyone's hella busy in today's world, and if you are "not ready"... I'll probably look for someone who is...🤷🏻♀️
This mostly applies only to guys who are good looking 7+/10.
When the girls say they want men to approach them they think of hot men, not the average,
Just saying, take the video's message lightly
The John wick but when his wife still lives fit is amazing 😂
Genuinely
8:04
"What did they say to start the conversation?"
"I honestly don't remember."
Wow. Those guys really left an impression on you.
🤭
Man it's a lot easier to approach when they aren't walking. I had best results in parks and bus stops when they are not that busy
Also at night I think you could be perceived as more suspicious
This man is the reason i approach girls everywhere now! Owe him my life
And how are you doing? What's your experience?
@@leandro6925 I'd say i'm like a six out of ten. I go to the gym, and dress well, but I'm short. I have like a 30% success rate of getting numbers and instagrams, but I only meet up with like 5% of that initial 30. It's all about confidence and the way you carry yourself. It gets easier the more you do it! Alnother part Is actually the actual DMing / texting, but that's also all about practise. All the women I've talked to have been super nice though. Everyone loves being approached. It's a nice gesture if nothing else.
@@leandro6925more like whats his appearance 😂😂😂😂😂
And those guys wonder why they don’t get enough girls or dates for that matter, if they don’t approach or think it’s too rude to approach or disrespectful. My gosh!
Why do you mute the conversations ? It's the most important and interesting thing !!? But amazing video however 🔥🔥
75% of women want to be approached more by tall muscular chads, not out of shape guys. That's what that statistic means. It doesn't mean "ooh 75% of want to be approached by ALL guys"
Your approaches are smooth as silk… get it? Seda…Silk, aaah never mind 😢
Being told by girl after girl "I appreciate your confidence" stings. Really bad...
Let them make the move and they will see what it's like 😅
Men still approach, we’re just more selective
If the blonde lady from 2:53 ever get to see this comment, let her know that she stole my heart!
THE FUTURE UNFOLDS BENJAMIN YES
Get a shorter and less handsome guy to ask the same woman the same question.
The girl at 1:16 CLEARLY has no idea what it's like to be a dude on a dating app ( at least Tinder ). Her ignorance frustrates me. " why approach someone who's cute irl when you can match with someone cuter on a dating app " that's not what guys do. That's what GIRLS do. The reason why guys don't do that is because they know they STILL won't match with all the " cuter " girls they swipe on, even if the guys look decent. But when meeting girls irl it's EASIER to get accepted because women judge guys based on more than just a few photos.
I believe the reason why those guys did not approach her that time is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. It's because the guys were afraid they would be made fun of or accused of being a creep. ...which is THE TRUTH to why a lot of guys don't approach girls ( and maybe prefer swiping on a dating app ).
Now there are some dating apps/sites where guys will get as many matches as girls do on Tinder, but Tinder is still the " mainstream " one ( at least it is in my city ). Thankfully my city recently announced irl dating events. We're gonna make it brothers...
Maybe as a man I am an exception to the rule but I have never experienced and felt that when women stared at me that it was something positive tho😅😂
Epic work bro 🎉🎉
Thanks bro 🔥
Comment to 1:30 she assumes the 3 guys were single, maybe actually they were married, so how would that turn out to be?
Great video but i think you made one mistake about challenge at the end of videos. I think you needed to be clear about wanting to hang out later/some other day in romantic way. Like mentioning date or something because they might simply see you as just instagram folower or even forget to mention boyfriend. But overall great video
Because for them getting rejected 500 times in a row isnt fun
Im autistic and I struggle so much to understand women. I tried cold approaching a few times, and if they like being cold approached why do they play so hard, and just seem to want to leave or ignore you....
It's working. He found 2 fine ladies. It's just a trial and error thing.
well obviously they do , if its a good approach by a guy who isn't awkward or he is their type or both , you should do it anyway though because volume is king
those two women: drink/dinner on you, chanel or louis v bag, must be 6ft... this is why so many guys are scared of approaching - they fear they will run into women like that...
The women on this video should appreciate the power they have in their 20s and early 30s in the dating marketplace, they really do not have a clue how difficult dating is for the majority of men.
Thanks to the video ! I feel like I am the only one who tries to this.
2:40 I think the girl in the background wanted to approach you
cool video bro! You missed the intro tho!
To approach these women you need to be
1) Attractive
2) Tall
3) White
4) RICH
It’s risky man. Even if you’re natural and positive, you run the risk of getting metooed especially if you’re under 6ft tall.
Actually no , if you approach a girl Normally , you won’t get me too’ed lol
@@glockymenor6760 still too risky. In america anyway. Best to go to Southeast Asia or Eastern Europe and meet a normal girl.
"dont know until you try". She just proved his point though
No. She is the correct one. It’s a numbers game. Some women won’t be interested and some will.
Just because you get Instagram or number doesn’t mean you gonna meet her again. In 100 approaches 10-15 will go out with you on average.
Basically be really hot and have lots of money and you're good
You’re asking fish how to be caught when you should be asking successful fishermen
I am the fisherman mf
3:52 this is why 💯
Narcissism is the denial of reality
aint no way my dude walked away after she said you wouldn't know unless you tried that was a clear signal I thought
You think the guy didn't have a choice?
keep it up
you got the balls bro
Pro tip: The girls who are “dressed up” are usually “marketing” themselves, so they’re more open to being approached as opposed to someone who’s wearing an N95 mask 😂
I feel like people on dating apps have some sort of insecurity or like in some complicated situation, or they have no intentions so they dont respond. They’re on the app just because. It’s weird
Man why did you fast forward on the most important parts?? 😂😂
Cool video, Those two that mentioned chanel and Louis viton they are gold diggers nothing new. About the cold approach part amazing content only those who tried and done it consistently know how hard it is, by experience i know getting the number is one part of it. They can give you the number just an excuse to not say directly no to avoid conflict (women's nature) some of them will not answer after you text them and some of them will is part of the game. It all comes down to your approach if you go approach them being weak, hesitating and nervous you've lost that approached all we need to know about womens is that they dispise weak men you can´t be weak you have that example when the women from the video call out those guys. It all comes down to your ability to handle Social Pressure (tension) if you apply it in a controlled manner they will see you as confident because you handle pressure weak guys crumble under pressure
I got a plane ticket to NYC fro mSouth Korea right after watching this video😂
Lol that girl said say your sorry before talking to a girl
who is that girl with the big yellow glasses? i wanna know asap 0:03
i dont trust 99% of their answers, except about confidence
304s giving advice
They all want to be approached by Ben. If you tall, handsome, with the appearance of wealth and status. You won't have a problem. This has been true for the history of civilization.
She really said 5’7 and I’m 5’3 😭
From my experience and this video has shown the same. Dont do to much to impress the girl. Just be normal, smile and talk. A no is just part of the game
Hey Ben, I just have to say that your outfit is spectacular. Like wow. I need to buy myself a new turtleneck. And some gloves.
The reason men don’t approach women anymore in this time is because most women would say something completely negative about them approaching them.Guys listen to them rather just end up going to jail over small talk
Why would a guy go to jail? Isn’t it a public conversation?
You’d be surprised
I wonder what did you do with the girls that gave you the instagram. You just said "nvm now. Was just making a video"
Bro, great video but you’re 6’1💀. Im not convinced by the success of this experiment until you get a shorter guy to do this 😂. It’ll be a fun video, make it happen!
It's not just the fear of rejection, if a women should want too she can get you fired from your job because your classed as creepy.
There doesn't need to be a valid reason to be classes as creepy.
10:01 the reason men don't like to approach in public. period.
He got ignored cause his approach angle was off you have to stop and literally face the girl. The girl will match your level of investment in the pursuing the interaction he was half in and half out on that one
Hey what’s your name? Do you want a Chanel bag? Bruh what the heck is that? 😂
I did day game and night game for 1.5 years, 0 results. Then I used dating apps, i got below average dates, I dont wanna settle with anything average. Don’t know what to do
I'd don't lose hope bud. Keep going for it.
And try more real life approaches rather than dating apps and online dating, cause that really helps you evaluate your approach and your likings too.
You only get better the more you keep trying.
No one's perfect right from the start. You just gotta keep going. You'll slowly realise what you are really lacking, and what need improvement.
Also, try more day approaches rather than night ones. Girls tend to be more free minded in the day outside, than at night.
Good Luck...👍✌🏻🥂
‘ busy on their phone ‘ 😂 when are they ever not ‘ busy on their phone ‘
I'm nice looking guy but... I'm short (5'6) and even I do have self confidence I'm not comedian. I approached many times in many different situations - still NO success! I got approaches only from woman that are totally not my type, and my target girl type in 100% cases looks for tall guys.
The problem is not you, if you have girl that like to talk to you, then the problem are the women you looking for are full of them self, and since you dont have extra $$$$, they wont take you lol
Just try to find someone that likes you like a normal person.
It's honestly easy for women to say we should be the ones approaching. At the end of the day they aren't the ones who have the fear of being rejected or being called weird.
Or falsely called for harassment
You're right; most women can't stand being rejected and appreciate that societal norms often place the onus on men to make the first move. Women typically have more options, as they are often approached, while men usually don't have much choice in the matter. It is what it is.
@@mightysavage459 I wish these women were rejected more often. Maybe, they wouldn't be as stuck up and bitchy.
they are assuming the topic of conversation is the top 2% man
Who cares. Grow a pair and get over the fear of rejection and being called weird. You think you’re going to get anywhere worried about what could happen?
I always do the whole:
"Hey I think you're cute I was wondering if you'd wanna.."
*throws a net over them*
..works nearly every time
Whats the continuation?
Not a cop, dude. Not into dragnets.
Make sure your trunk has louvers or at least drill holes for air.
basically be over 6ft and handsome.
if you are not: you are a creep.
"nearly" is a rather interesting word, what happened to the one that escap....i mean rejected you 😂
Tldr if your attractive they want you to approach if your average they don't, and if you're below average it's harassment.
literally the first girl said if u hot so u right
👍
Yeah but even if you’re an attractive guy and pull the “my name is Jeff” they will see you as an average man as well 😂
No
Not how it works
"By hot men yes." Which disqualifies most men since women think we're ugly.
"I know if they're lying about their height or not." Yeah every woman wants to date a guy who is over 6 feet. So I am over 6 feet so this isn't a problem for me but the vast majority of guys aren't over 6 feet.
Most men are disqualified for approaching women. They're not hot or they're too short or they're too broke. Women just don't like most men.
@@darrenskjoelsvold
I'm curious, how many women have you randomly and genuinely approached in your life before coming to your conclusion? 🤔
@@mickaellandry9726 I have approached women in the past but more importantly I have a lot of women who are friends and clients and yes they typically think the majority of men are ugly.
Furthermore there have been surveys and studies which have come to the same conclusion as well. Now do most women find me ugly? I can only conclude no they don't but I have my own problems with dating. But that's a completely different topic.
But look at dating apps where the top percentile of men are the ones getting all the matches and average men get overlooked. Frankly women don't find men attractive all that often. I mean they have the right to their preferences but the average man has a difficult time getting the average woman to talk to him. Meanwhile she's more than willing to get taken advantage of by a really attractive man who sees her as just a little fun. He uses her and discards her but she now thinks that's her standard. So she will always compare men to that guy and other guys will never measure up.
So is the normal dating scene for average men? Certainly not. Average men can't compete with what these women can get access to.
But out of curiosity how many women have you approached? How many women have you talked to? How many women have you talked with as just people and gotten unguarded and honest opinions from?
It's proven women only find around 1 out of 5 men attractive, yet you still have all these people with objections.
@@darrenskjoelsvoldi’m 6’1 light skinned and get called handsome all the time and I’m still getting rejected in person lol
Instagram seems to be more effective tbh
Its only creepy till you get good at it. Once you pass that line, it wont matter that much if you met the same girl through mutuals or by approaching.