Him making little jokes at your expense is never ok. Many times a "love bomber" will be so "perfect" at the beginning of a relationship but start pushing your boundaries to feel out how much abuse you're willing to put up with. Been there! Talk to him and make your boundaries clear. Jokes at your expense are not allowed. Heather, you are a high value woman who has so much to offer. Only the very best man is worthy of you. I finally found my perfect match later in life and we've been happily married for 12 years now. Three months of knowing someone should be ample time to decide if you want to continue this relationship. Give it time and trust your intuition. Wishing you all the best.
Heather, I know you are a grown woman but here is my “mom” advice to you from a woman who is in therapy for 3 years after her mentally abusive marriage. If his jokes are causing uncomfortable feelings in you, I would certainly make sure he knows they bother you. He cannot correct what he doesn’t know is a mistake. It doesn’t matter if you think you are remembering your previous marriage or not, it bothered you and you are trying to grow, not overlook things. Do not wear any rose colored glasses for uncomfortable feelings. On another note, I enjoyed this video and agree with a lot of what you say. Thank you.❤
I love the ballet flats and I don’t think they look frumpy. Enjoy your take but for me I dress more feminine and traditional. I do appreciate your comment’s and commitment to jeans
I feel like I can relate to you because I too, have a history of narcissistic abuse. Just sharing my experience, which may (or may not) fit for you, Heather. After years of therapy I have learned to recognize that "teasing" from a man, early on is a red flag for me. I used to stuff my feelings and I convinced myself that I was being "overly sensitive"; however, in ALL cases it quickly turned into "emotional abuse" and I came to regret that I did not listen to my gut. The first question I ask myself is, "how does his comment make me FEEL? Does the comment make me feel small, less than, insecure, stupid, am I questioning myself, ect... If I answer yes to any of them, I have a good indication of what often follows. I would quickly lose my sense of" self," having to struggle once again to break free. It is a vicious ugly cycle. I wish you all the best!
Hi Heather! One great thing to remember (I know it to be true): the faster a relationship moves *physically/romantically-***Physically, the more shallow the relationship because time/focus has been on chemistry - moreso - than the simple--but--most--important aspect: building trust / starting as FriendsFirst and slowly building trust over time . While keeping the 'brakes on' {very-low-gear physically-speaking/Making-out-wise} until/unless marriage .
I have been searching high and low for a burgandy sweater that I like. I cleaned out my closet today, and I was pleasantly surprised, I found a brand new one in my closet that I don't remember purchasing and I love it!!
As far as style challenges, for me it begins and ends with the feet. I have beautiful shoes, kitten heels even but every where I go it’s a walk over uneven sidewalks and streets, rural areas around the beach, decks and patios. I can’t afford to lose my footing or to walk like I’m on eggshells. Chelsea, Western boots and Birkenstock are my go to shoes.
Beware of “little jokes” which can portend big problems in the future. God bless you in all you do! Love your channel & agree with you about all of these frumpy trends! I don’t care for any of them! The worst are the barrel pants & huge bags… also don’t care for the plaid! Thanks for a great video🙏 Today is 9/11… God bless all of our heroes & victims & all of their families🙏
Mary Janes are darling! Took me awhile to come around BUT yes of course you have to wear them with the right jean and right length. They are just not your style. Same with the barrel jean, they are cutest on girls that that IS their style!
Once you're triggered, be self-aware of how your body feels. Sometimes, We never know if they are toxic until they have got you with Cognitive dissonance. Take your time. Again, self-awareness. Good for you, Heather, for recognizing this. I am recovering from a toxic marriage as well. And the triggers are so REAL.
My dad always said…. Great that you love all these things about him… Now tell me things you don’t like about him… 🤔 be very careful with what you don’t like.
I agree with you regarding the handbag charms. However, as you said the attached gold ones or silver ones look very classy and those go very well with the handbag that they came with.
You will definitely be OK no matter what. It's very early days and those 'little' jokes don't sound good, especially if your gut feeling picks up on them. Red flags? Thank you for your fashion advice too. I just got a gorgeous leopard print scarf in a clothes Swap. Just in time for Autumn ❤
Good Morning Heather, I'm loving the leopard print, burgundy color, and faux leather this season. I love a ballerina flat, but the not the Mary Jane style and also prefer a kitten heal with dresses or a chunky heal under my wide leg jeans. I'm so glad that you know yourself well enough now to recognize old baggage when it comes up. I'm thinking good thoughts for you and this dashing young man you are currently dating. Enjoy this season in your life, you deserve it! 🤎🤎🤎
I completely agree with you regarding not wearing the Mary Jane flats, and I also have to pass on the bag charms. You look beautiful in the barrel jeans and you certainly know how to style them.
I agree with everything except I just bought a pair of red mary jane flats and I love them. I initially thought I would pass on that trend but after seeing them styled on others I came around. They will be a super comfortable alternative to sneakers when running around NYC while visiting my daughter at school. It is definitely all in the styling!
Heather, I have come to realize that my clothing style emulates yours in so many ways. I started watching you about two years ago and haven't stopped building my wardrobe since.
I always struggle with shoes. What is appropriate, what is the best for length of jeans or dress. What color do I match it to? This would be great if you picked up any special tips in your styling course.
One of the risks of surviving a long term narcissistic relationship is you are most likely vulnerable to another such relationship. An excellent way of flushing out a narcissist in the early dating time is to tell them “no” to a simple request, with a smile and no further explanation. A narcissist will not be able to tolerate this. I wish I had known this tip before I was lured into another narcissistic relationship.
Hi Heather! Loved the video as always! I agree about Mary Jane flats and barrel jeans! My fav jeans are the 90s high waist straight leg from Abercrombie! And my fave outfit is the brown suit jacket and matching shorts! I’d wear that in the colder weather with black tights and knee high boots! Thanks for sharing your dating and relationship info. I can totally relate! I have a toxic ex husband who is a narcissist. It took me years to get to a place where I felt ready to date. I’m dating and in the best relationship in my life ans even though it’s been 8 years since the divorce, I still have to catch myself worrying or comparing behaviors with the ex and questioning but I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we’ve been friends for five. So I have to remind myself that he is not my ex, and that he truly loves me! I hope this new guy winds up being your one and best relationship of your life! ❤
I dont wear heels at all and honestly dont see many people in heels when im out. I do wear a cool pair of sneakers with my wide leg jeans and don't ever look frumpy so i have to disagree with you on that. I see way more sneakers when im out and about as opposed to heels even with dresses
My biggest style struggle is knowing how to put a complete outfit together so that it looks like a stylist did it. Two things that have helped me is dressing for my body type and wearing my colors. The thing that has helped me the most is listening to So Heather. I just kind of get lost when I look into my closet and try to put an outfit together. This is difficult for me.
The barrel jeans look adorable on you. I always roll mine to show my ankle and wear some type of elongating shoe. I also make sure to show off my waist like you did. I love barrel jeans ! Long torso here so maybe that’s why I find them flattering on myself.
I just bought a very similar coat to what you were wearing in the video. I bought it based on your recommendation. I'm a petite, so huge handbags overwhelm me. I love sweaters when it gets cold.
For your style project I would love to see what looks best when we have a menopause mid section that we just can’t lose. The tire around the mid drift …
I don't agree that Mary Jane flats are frumpy. They do have to be styled right but I think they are very cute and I love them. You like to wear heels and that is your style. I like to wear Mary Janes, ballet flats and sneakers and that is my style. I don't wear heeled shoes and only wear heeled boots. I don't consider myself frumpy at all. I don't like barrel jeans but I would not call them frumpy because they are not my style. On the right body and with the right style, they can look cute. That being said, I do think it is a trend that is not that flattering for most. Yes, I agree charms hanging from your bag are cheesy. Best left to 12&13 year olds. Whatever happened to personal style? Everyone dresses the same now. I make great effort to be a bit different and I actually think that women who have a different style appear more confident as they don't follow the herd and they do their own thing. Don't get me wrong, I like a trend here and there and will incorporate them into my wardrobe but I also try hard to dress a bit different from others. On the dating front, I think you are trying too hard to find the one. It's okay to be single. Relax and enjoy life and if it is meant to be, you will meet your man.
Love my mery Jane mephisto Niro. Just bought the second pair. Its more like a sneaker on warm days and for long walks. And after waightloss, my old Levis 501 came to life again.
I'm sure you're on high-alert with this guy because of your husband. But just take it day by day. Maybe he's had a similar relationship or he's nervous and this is his way of dealing with it. Maybe he's trying to be funny and not quite hitting the mark 😆 Give it time. You'll know when it's time to move on ❤ I love your message in empowering women AND I love your quote "let fashion be a tool". That makes so much sense and I totally agree!
I bought 2 pairs of Mary Jane flats. 1 pair is black w studs and one in red. Looks cute with modern skinny jeans like u said (I feel kinda European in them lol)
Light colored Mary Jane’s are very versatile - I’m 5”9’ and wear with trousers/ trouser style jeans/ cropped straight leg jeans/ maxi skirts/ maxi dresses. Again I wear a light camel or white color. Black draws the eye down too much - this is true with most black shoes
You are amazing and love watching your videos! For your course, I would say my biggest challenge is how to put an outfit together. I go shopping and like what I bought but when I try it on I don’t like it. I noticed you never where patterns on you tops and wanted to know is it okay to wear a pattern top if it makes you look and feel good. Thanks! Also life is too short so live in the moment.
My number 1 struggle with style is balancing what I like vs what actually looks good on me. I did get my colors done and I am a deep/dark winter. Getting my colors done really helped me see how the right color can elevate your look. My colors are actually the trending colors this season (burgandy and forrest green). I am 5'2 and weight 130. I have a gymnist body. I am muscular with wide shoulders and muscular thighs. I am also 48 years old. Pants are impossible. If they fit over my legs, they gap at the waist. The wide leg and barrel jeans look perfect for my shape. Long skirts are a no. I look ridiculous unless they are light fabrics.
Great video, love the variety. Love burgundy, do not like charms on purses, Mary Jane’s are cute, comfortable, For your style class study styles that compliment figures in regards to upper arm exposure, tucking in shirts that make women with weight gain not look like we are pregnant . As for the date life, give your date a fair honest chance based on him overall as a new person and what type of heart and soul he has towards others in his emotions and feelings. All the best to you.
I’m 53 and 5’2” I struggle with wanting to look classy without projecting “ grandma vibes” and trendy without giving “ trying too hard vibes”so I’d like some advice in that area
The problem with Mary Jane’s is the cross strap shortens your legs. If you are tall with long legs - you can rock MJ’s. I’m 5’1” and they don’t work for me.
I love the square toe Mary Janes. I bought a pair, but they are really uncomfortable. I've been looking for a more comfortable pair. I think the only pair that would be comfortable for me is the Dr Scholl's Mary jane's, which are very frumpy😢 It looks like I will be reluctantly skipping that trend.
Heather, I think the barrel jeans look good on you. I really don’t think you could look bad in anything. If someone makes a joke and it makes you fill even a little bad be cautious. You’ve only known him for four weeks. It sounds like he has the potential to be critical.
I would love to know what type of shoes to wear with different outfits. This always stumps me when getting dressed. I don't like dressy shoes so much....
Hi Heather! I’m totally with you on the five frumpy trends. Flat Mary Jane? Nerdy cute, but not cute (especially on an older woman!) Plaid all over? Totally destroys your figure unless it’s a tiny plaid and the cut is super flattering. Barrel jeans? Ugh - why? I do think yours look pretty good on you but if a woman is the slightest bit heavy in the hip or thigh the barrel leg 😊really accentuates that. I do love a big handbag but I will never say they look as good as a small bag. I appreciate your emphasis on figure flattery - I just don’t see the point in adopting trends that make it hard to look good. Love your dating stories - I think you and he are doing great - enjoy!
Mary Jane’s and charms on the handbag trend is childlike in my opinion. Much prefer a heel even for casual outfits. At 5’2”, a Mary Jane is very unflattering!
Heather, Next time you are with Mr. New Guy and he says anything that makes you uncomfortable , tell him right then! He seems like an open and cool guy and can handle it.
Hi Heather Excellent blog as always! I love the burgundy / damson / eggplant colour this fall 🤗I just bought some gorgeous Clarks kitten heel bootee's in burgundy suede on the front pointy toe shape / crocodile look leather on the back round the ankle, Clarks is a very comfy brand that uses top quality suede / leathers at reasonable prices. I've been wearing them with some beige soft palazzo pants and a damson / eggplant cardigan and little knit tank, with my gold real leather white stuff bag (it's great quality bag at a very good price) without charm's (I'm not 10 years old!)!!🤣🤣 If it's any consolation my current lovely husband actually shares a birthday date (not the year) with my ex ...It took a while to get my head around that!! But he's nothing like my ex!!! We have been married for 8 years and together for 15 years and we are still very happy ....I will say we always take time to talk every day, in my mind communication is the MOST IMPORTANT element in a relationship. Side note if the jokes are to your expense that's NOT OK at all!!! Hope this helps 😊 Caroline xx
Hi heather, I’m loving the leopard print cardigan. I’m 5’4 like you. Short cardigans look much better on me. As far as the barrel jeans, I haven’t tried them on yet. I think you are rocking the barrel Jean look! It’s all in how you style them:) it’s always good to be cautious and in touch with your feelings. He sounds like a great guy! I have been married for 42 yrs. In the beginning of our dating, I was critiquing everything about him. I want to marry the perfect guy! Well.. he’s pretty close to being perfect! He dose have flaws, just as I do. It’s good you remind yourself that this guy is not your husband. Keep enjoying dating this guy. You are a beautiful person . I see that through the years of watching your channel.❤️😊
I like the barrel jeans…like you said they’re not the MOST flattering but overall barrel jeans are just like that on everyone. You sure look better in them than most people and I think they’re a yes! Also, I have a narcicistic ex husband who is now putting a second woman through the wringer and will soon have a second ex wife. Thank goodness for her! Hang in there Heather, you WILL heal. And charms are a huge nooooo lol. I’m 43 not 10.
I’m way too short 4’11” to even think about ballet or Maryjane flats. They also provide zero support for my lower back. Wearing a small 2 inch or kitten heal is more flattering & forces me to correct posture.
I did ballet as a teenager and could never put them on for shoes. They look ridiculous! In love with most other trends, especially suede. I’ve added lots of it. Both vintage and new. Saving money and looking expensive! I’m thinking you’re moving way too fast in these relationships. A month, even 6 months is a short time. No rush. Just take it slow and there’ll be lots less pressure.
I disagree on flats- modern classic loafers, modern ballet flats and Maryjane’s are adorably comfortable! Always wearing heels with everything is simply not practical, comfortable or effortless looking- too much doesn’t look relaxed and trying too hard. In addition heels are not good for your feet or your posture! My biggest issue is being constantly slighted as a petite! I’m 5’1 1/2 and 119! Many influencers make comments like it will make you look taller! What’s wrong with being shorter? It is difficult to find petite sizes and yet more women are 5’4 and under then not. LOL.
No man should be making jokes at a woman's expense. That never turns out well. That's a total lack of respect and unloving. I love that you're trusting God to guide you.
Although it was costly - the best advice my divorce attorney gave me after ending a 27 year marriage - 'The best revenge is a life WELL lived" Listen to your intuition but allow yourself to be free ! You will know what is right for you...Thanks for being real 💚
I have. History of toxic relationships and working at great lengths to heal and learn from them. I do know that we need to trust ourselves when something triggers us and I also usually by 4 months before you really see who the person really is. So easy to be wonderful before then. I also like to see their behavior if I disagree with them and how they react when I do. I also have a tendency to make excuses for bad behavior and or minimize it. Not anymore…. People will show you who they are believe them….
I absolutely hate the barrel leg trend, to me they’re an example of people bending over backward to make a trend work that doesn’t flatter ANYONE imho. No, not even Rosie lol. Leave that one on the side of the road I say!! 😂 I too dislike the bag charm trend, it’s total overkill and actually looks very juvenile to me. I’ll stick with a rodeo on my Birkin and call it a day lol But - no one should be rudely critical, I’m sorry you have to put up with people that don’t know how to be civil.
I'd be curious what the "little jokes" are. It's one thing to be understandably sensitive after a divorce, it's another if this is passive aggressive behavior on his end. Anywhoo, I'm sure you'll be fine either way!
I was also wondering about the jokes myself. Were they personally directed at you- your appearance, style or mannerisms? Were they off- color by your standards? I'm in the dark on this one again.
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Him making little jokes at your expense is never ok. Many times a "love bomber" will be so "perfect" at the beginning of a relationship but start pushing your boundaries to feel out how much abuse you're willing to put up with. Been there! Talk to him and make your boundaries clear. Jokes at your expense are not allowed. Heather, you are a high value woman who has so much to offer. Only the very best man is worthy of you. I finally found my perfect match later in life and we've been happily married for 12 years now. Three months of knowing someone should be ample time to decide if you want to continue this relationship. Give it time and trust your intuition. Wishing you all the best.
Exactly
Amen!
No. Hard pass. Listen to your gut.
I will always love ballet flats and Mary Jane's.
Comfortable and timeless. This is why it's important to wear what you love and not what others like.
Same!
I'd NEVER wear heels with jeans (v 80s) but what do I know - I'm currently rocking barrel jeans and Mary Janes 😅
Love Mary Janes
Agree and they are extremely fashionable. Every high end luxury store and shoe designer thinks they are trendy 😊. Do you and feel good in it..
Heather, I know you are a grown woman but here is my “mom” advice to you from a woman who is in therapy for 3 years after her mentally abusive marriage. If his jokes are causing uncomfortable feelings in you, I would certainly make sure he knows they bother you. He cannot correct what he doesn’t know is a mistake. It doesn’t matter if you think you are remembering your previous marriage or not, it bothered you and you are trying to grow, not overlook things. Do not wear any rose colored glasses for uncomfortable feelings. On another note, I enjoyed this video and agree with a lot of what you say. Thank you.❤
I love the ballet flats and I don’t think they look frumpy. Enjoy your take but for me I dress more feminine and traditional. I do appreciate your comment’s and commitment to jeans
I feel like I can relate to you because I too, have a history of narcissistic abuse. Just sharing my experience, which may (or may not) fit for you, Heather. After years of therapy I have learned to recognize that "teasing" from a man, early on is a red flag for me. I used to stuff my feelings and I convinced myself that I was being "overly sensitive"; however, in ALL cases it quickly turned into "emotional abuse" and I came to regret that I did not listen to my gut. The first question I ask myself is, "how does his comment make me FEEL? Does the comment make me feel small, less than, insecure, stupid, am I questioning myself, ect... If I answer yes to any of them, I have a good indication of what often follows. I would quickly lose my sense of" self," having to struggle once again to break free. It is a vicious ugly cycle. I wish you all the best!
@@TJS11 wow that is such great advice thank you so much!!
@@TJS11 that was really helpful advice! I have broken up with this guy thank goodness (story to come next week) ❤️
Hi Heather!
One great thing to remember (I know it to be true): the faster a relationship moves *physically/romantically-***Physically, the more shallow the relationship because time/focus has been on chemistry - moreso - than the simple--but--most--important aspect: building trust / starting as FriendsFirst and slowly building trust over time . While keeping the 'brakes on' {very-low-gear physically-speaking/Making-out-wise} until/unless marriage .
This is THE BEST comment that I have ever read on TH-cam. So true. It takes to form the trusting bond and see the real character
I love Maryjanes and ballet flats, also kitten heels, I’m 5’10 and thin so definitely don’t feel frumpy and I wear them all the time
I am 5'3 but have long legs for my frame. So I never feel like making my legs look longer is necessary. ❤
Same here 5’10” and I rock both too. And I look edgy in my barrel jeans not frumpy. Trust. ❤
Thank you so much, Heather for taking the time to provide a beautiful version of the designer item at a much more attainable price point for us.
I have been searching high and low for a burgandy sweater that I like. I cleaned out my closet today, and I was pleasantly surprised, I found a brand new one in my closet that I don't remember purchasing and I love it!!
As far as style challenges, for me it begins and ends with the feet. I have beautiful shoes, kitten heels even but every where I go it’s a walk over uneven sidewalks and streets, rural areas around the beach, decks and patios. I can’t afford to lose my footing or to walk like I’m on eggshells. Chelsea, Western boots and Birkenstock are my go to shoes.
Beware of “little jokes” which can portend big problems in the future. God bless you in all you do! Love your channel & agree with you about all of these frumpy trends! I don’t care for any of them! The worst are the barrel pants & huge bags… also don’t care for the plaid! Thanks for a great video🙏 Today is 9/11… God bless all of our heroes & victims & all of their families🙏
Mary Janes are darling! Took me awhile to come around BUT yes of course you have to wear them with the right jean and right length. They are just not your style. Same with the barrel jean, they are cutest on girls that that IS their style!
Once you're triggered, be self-aware of how your body feels. Sometimes, We never know if they are toxic until they have got you with Cognitive dissonance. Take your time. Again, self-awareness. Good for you, Heather, for recognizing this. I am recovering from a toxic marriage as well. And the triggers are so REAL.
My dad always said…. Great that you love all these things about him…
Now tell me things you don’t like about him… 🤔 be very careful with what you don’t like.
How you feel about yourself is everything. Dating apps seem to be like auditioning. Way too much pressure
@@AnastasiaAlonso-gt3fe such great advice
Heather I can’t imagine ANYTHING looking less than stellar on you ❤️
I agree with you regarding the handbag charms. However, as you said the attached gold ones or silver ones look very classy and those go very well with the handbag that they came with.
My favorite color to wear in the fall and winter is a jewel tone such as burgundy.
You will definitely be OK no matter what. It's very early days and those 'little' jokes don't sound good, especially if your gut feeling picks up on them. Red flags? Thank you for your fashion advice too. I just got a gorgeous leopard print scarf in a clothes Swap. Just in time for Autumn ❤
Good Morning Heather, I'm loving the leopard print, burgundy color, and faux leather this season. I love a ballerina flat, but the not the Mary Jane style and also prefer a kitten heal with dresses or a chunky heal under my wide leg jeans. I'm so glad that you know yourself well enough now to recognize old baggage when it comes up. I'm thinking good thoughts for you and this dashing young man you are currently dating. Enjoy this season in your life, you deserve it! 🤎🤎🤎
I need help finding flats! I agree the Mary Jane’s are frumpy! I love heels, recently hurt my back so I need to figure something out.
I completely agree with you regarding not wearing the Mary Jane flats, and I also have to pass on the bag charms. You look beautiful in the barrel jeans and you certainly know how to style them.
I agree with everything except I just bought a pair of red mary jane flats and I love them. I initially thought I would pass on that trend but after seeing them styled on others I came around. They will be a super comfortable alternative to sneakers when running around NYC while visiting my daughter at school. It is definitely all in the styling!
Heather, I have come to realize that my clothing style emulates yours in so many ways. I started watching you about two years ago and haven't stopped building my wardrobe since.
If the little jokes bother you, tell him. If he continues, red flag; if he stops, green flag. Wishing you the best🤍
I always struggle with shoes. What is appropriate, what is the best for length of jeans or dress. What color do I match it to? This would be great if you picked up any special tips in your styling course.
Not a great fan of charms on bags. I know it shows more individuality but I think it can cheapen the look of the bag..
It is like hanging stuff from your rear view mirror in your car. I think it looks cheap.
Not on a Dior bag they don’t. 😆
Thank you for sharing about your relationship. I can absolutely relate to your experience.
I love your style. The barrel jeans are very cool! I just bought a cropped trench coat… can’t wait to wear it.
KITTEN HEELS ARE EVERYTHINGGGG LOVEEE THEM
One of the risks of surviving a long term narcissistic relationship is you are most likely vulnerable to another such relationship. An excellent way of flushing out a narcissist in the early dating time is to tell them “no” to a simple request, with a smile and no further explanation. A narcissist will not be able to tolerate this. I wish I had known this tip before I was lured into another narcissistic relationship.
Love you so much Heather. I love watching your videos and learning from you and you’re just such a beautiful person ❤ so happy you do what you do!
Hi Heather! Loved the video as always! I agree about Mary Jane flats and barrel jeans! My fav jeans are the 90s high waist straight leg from Abercrombie! And my fave outfit is the brown suit jacket and matching shorts! I’d wear that in the colder weather with black tights and knee high boots! Thanks for sharing your dating and relationship info. I can totally relate! I have a toxic ex husband who is a narcissist. It took me years to get to a place where I felt ready to date. I’m dating and in the best relationship in my life ans even though it’s been 8 years since the divorce, I still have to catch myself worrying or comparing behaviors with the ex and questioning but I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we’ve been friends for five. So I have to remind myself that he is not my ex, and that he truly loves me! I hope this new guy winds up being your one and best relationship of your life! ❤
I dont wear heels at all and honestly dont see many people in heels when im out. I do wear a cool pair of sneakers with my wide leg jeans and don't ever look frumpy so i have to disagree with you on that. I see way more sneakers when im out and about as opposed to heels even with dresses
Same here. I rarely see heels anymore.
@@dvanhottie Agree. I live in a big city and don't see heels that much anymore. I see lots of sneakers and ballet flats.
Only time i see heels is at a fancy dinner spot. Most women are not wearing heels daily its not practical for us. Tennis shoes for the win haha
My biggest style struggle is knowing how to put a complete outfit together so that it looks like a stylist did it.
Two things that have helped me is dressing for my body type and wearing my colors. The thing that has helped me the most is listening to So Heather. I just kind of get lost when I look into my closet and try to put an outfit together. This is difficult for me.
@@amygerges6974 that is amazing! Thank you for your kind words and I’m so grateful I’ve been able to help you! ❤️❤️
He is testing your personal boundaries. Run, baby run!
I love your channel and all the fashion/life advice that you give. ❤
The barrel jeans look adorable on you. I always roll mine to show my ankle and wear some type of elongating shoe. I also make sure to show off my waist like you did. I love barrel jeans ! Long torso here so maybe that’s why I find them flattering on myself.
I just bought a very similar coat to what you were wearing in the video. I bought it based on your recommendation. I'm a petite, so huge handbags overwhelm me. I love sweaters when it gets cold.
I agree with all the frumpy stuff you mentioned. I don't own any of these things. My one longer cardigan is leopard print so I will rock it
For your style project I would love to see what looks best when we have a menopause mid section that we just can’t lose. The tire around the mid drift …
The handbag charms remind me of my granddaughters’ bookbag charms so I also will be skipping this trend.
I don't agree that Mary Jane flats are frumpy. They do have to be styled right but I think they are very cute and I love them. You like to wear heels and that is your style. I like to wear Mary Janes, ballet flats and sneakers and that is my style. I don't wear heeled shoes and only wear heeled boots. I don't consider myself frumpy at all. I don't like barrel jeans but I would not call them frumpy because they are not my style. On the right body and with the right style, they can look cute. That being said, I do think it is a trend that is not that flattering for most. Yes, I agree charms hanging from your bag are cheesy. Best left to 12&13 year olds.
Whatever happened to personal style? Everyone dresses the same now. I make great effort to be a bit different and I actually think that women who have a different style appear more confident as they don't follow the herd and they do their own thing. Don't get me wrong, I like a trend here and there and will incorporate them into my wardrobe but I also try hard to dress a bit different from others.
On the dating front, I think you are trying too hard to find the one. It's okay to be single. Relax and enjoy life and if it is meant to be, you will meet your man.
Love my mery Jane mephisto Niro. Just bought the second pair. Its more like a sneaker on warm days and for long walks.
And after waightloss, my old Levis 501 came to life again.
Your makeup looks really nice and complementary.
My styling issue is I’m short waisted and only 5.3 would love styling tips that takes this into account. Thanks for all your styling advice. 😁
I love, love watching your videos!
I'm sure you're on high-alert with this guy because of your husband. But just take it day by day. Maybe he's had a similar relationship or he's nervous and this is his way of dealing with it. Maybe he's trying to be funny and not quite hitting the mark 😆 Give it time. You'll know when it's time to move on ❤ I love your message in empowering women AND I love your quote "let fashion be a tool". That makes so much sense and I totally agree!
I bought 2 pairs of Mary Jane flats. 1 pair is black w studs and one in red. Looks cute with modern skinny jeans like u said (I feel kinda European in them lol)
Light colored Mary Jane’s are very versatile - I’m 5”9’ and wear with trousers/ trouser style jeans/ cropped straight leg jeans/ maxi skirts/ maxi dresses. Again I wear a light camel or white color. Black draws the eye down too much - this is true with most black shoes
i love hearing your dating stories!
Love your dating stories. Great wisdom!
You are amazing and love watching your videos! For your course, I would say my biggest challenge is how to put an outfit together. I go shopping and like what I bought but when I try it on I don’t like it. I noticed you never where patterns on you tops and wanted to know is it okay to wear a pattern top if it makes you look and feel good. Thanks! Also life is too short so live in the moment.
This vlog has tons of incredible professional ideas
Tbankyou, I have problems knowing what colours to wear, have fun at your business cojrse
My number 1 struggle with style is balancing what I like vs what actually looks good on me. I did get my colors done and I am a deep/dark winter. Getting my colors done really helped me see how the right color can elevate your look. My colors are actually the trending colors this season (burgandy and forrest green).
I am 5'2 and weight 130. I have a gymnist body. I am muscular with wide shoulders and muscular thighs. I am also 48 years old. Pants are impossible. If they fit over my legs, they gap at the waist. The wide leg and barrel jeans look perfect for my shape.
Long skirts are a no. I look ridiculous unless they are light fabrics.
Great video, love the variety. Love burgundy, do not like charms on purses, Mary Jane’s are cute, comfortable,
For your style class study styles that compliment figures in regards to upper arm exposure, tucking in shirts that make women with weight gain not look like we are pregnant . As for the date life, give your date a fair honest chance based on him overall as a new person and what type of heart and soul he has towards others in his emotions and feelings. All the best to you.
I wear mary janes with wide legs and disagree that they look frumpy.
Barrel jeans look great on you. They look so chic ❤
I love the maryjane flats, especially because I am really tall. I agree, though, with kitten heels they are great.
I will wear Mary Jane flats because it allows more room for my right foot. Unfortunately I have a bad bunion on my right foot 😞
I agree!!!
I love burgundy too. I have a lot of clothes but I find it hard to match different pieces
Hi Heather I bought a pair of barrel jeans. They were a sloppy pair from Amazon. Returned.
I’m 53 and 5’2” I struggle with wanting to look classy without projecting “ grandma vibes” and trendy without giving “ trying too hard vibes”so I’d like some advice in that area
The problem with Mary Jane’s is the cross strap shortens your legs. If you are tall with long legs - you can rock MJ’s. I’m 5’1” and they don’t work for me.
Mary Jane’s are never frumpy. They look good with wide leg jeans too. Heels are out in my opinion.
Heels are out of style? 😂😂😂 Heels will NEVER be out of style.
Give it to God soooooo good
Those barrel jeans are the frumpy things I've ever seen.
I love the square toe Mary Janes. I bought a pair, but they are really uncomfortable. I've been looking for a more comfortable pair. I think the only pair that would be comfortable for me is the Dr Scholl's Mary jane's, which are very frumpy😢
It looks like I will be reluctantly skipping that trend.
Fav colour Browns and black for fall and winter...also hot pink and red...
Heather, I think the barrel jeans look good on you. I really don’t think you could look bad in anything. If someone makes a joke and it makes you fill even a little bad be cautious. You’ve only known him for four weeks. It sounds like he has the potential to be critical.
I would love to know what type of shoes to wear with different outfits. This always stumps me when getting dressed. I don't like dressy shoes so much....
I struggle either way dressing for my body shape and mixing pieces to make unique outfits.
Hi Heather! I’m totally with you on the five frumpy trends. Flat Mary Jane? Nerdy cute, but not cute (especially on an older woman!) Plaid all over? Totally destroys your figure unless it’s a tiny plaid and the cut is super flattering. Barrel jeans? Ugh - why? I do think yours look pretty good on you but if a woman is the slightest bit heavy in the hip or thigh the barrel leg 😊really accentuates that. I do love a big handbag but I will never say they look as good as a small bag. I appreciate your emphasis on figure flattery - I just don’t see the point in adopting trends that make it hard to look good. Love your dating stories - I think you and he are doing great - enjoy!
Mary Jane’s and charms on the handbag trend is childlike in my opinion. Much prefer a heel even for casual outfits. At 5’2”, a Mary Jane is very unflattering!
I’m praying for you❤🙏🙏🙏
Heather, Next time you are with Mr. New Guy and he says anything that makes you uncomfortable , tell him right then! He seems like an open and cool guy and can handle it.
Hi Heather Excellent blog as always! I love the burgundy / damson / eggplant colour this fall 🤗I just bought some gorgeous Clarks kitten heel bootee's in burgundy suede on the front pointy toe shape / crocodile look leather on the back round the ankle, Clarks is a very comfy brand that uses top quality suede / leathers at reasonable prices. I've been wearing them with some beige soft palazzo pants and a damson / eggplant cardigan and little knit tank, with my gold real leather white stuff bag (it's great quality bag at a very good price) without charm's (I'm not 10 years old!)!!🤣🤣
If it's any consolation my current lovely husband actually shares a birthday date (not the year) with my ex ...It took a while to get my head around that!! But he's nothing like my ex!!! We have been married for 8 years and together for 15 years and we are still very happy ....I will say we always take time to talk every day, in my mind communication is the MOST IMPORTANT element in a relationship. Side note if the jokes are to your expense that's NOT OK at all!!! Hope this helps 😊 Caroline xx
Hi heather, I’m loving the leopard print cardigan. I’m 5’4 like you. Short cardigans look much better on me. As far as the barrel jeans, I haven’t tried them on yet. I think you are rocking the barrel Jean look! It’s all in how you style them:) it’s always good to be cautious and in touch with your feelings. He sounds like a great guy! I have been married for 42 yrs. In the beginning of our dating, I was critiquing everything about him. I want to marry the perfect guy!
Well.. he’s pretty close to being perfect! He dose have flaws, just as I do. It’s good you remind yourself that this guy is not your husband. Keep enjoying dating this guy. You are a beautiful person . I see that through the years of watching your channel.❤️😊
I love barel pants. It looks great on women without curves or women who don't have straight legs.
What color is your nail polish? Is it fluid gel?
@@goldiestetten it’s dip and the color is funny bunny 🤍🤍
I like the barrel jeans…like you said they’re not the MOST flattering but overall barrel jeans are just like that on everyone. You sure look better in them than most people and I think they’re a yes! Also, I have a narcicistic ex husband who is now putting a second woman through the wringer and will soon have a second ex wife. Thank goodness for her! Hang in there Heather, you WILL heal. And charms are a huge nooooo lol. I’m 43 not 10.
I’m way too short 4’11” to even think about ballet or Maryjane flats. They also provide zero support for my lower back. Wearing a small 2 inch or kitten heal is more flattering & forces me to correct posture.
I did ballet as a teenager and could never put them on for shoes. They look ridiculous! In love with most other trends, especially suede. I’ve added lots of it. Both vintage and new. Saving money and looking expensive! I’m thinking you’re moving way too fast in these relationships. A month, even 6 months is a short time. No rush. Just take it slow and there’ll be lots less pressure.
Jesus Christ is always with you even during the difficult times praise God praying for everyone Everyday God bless you all
I disagree on flats- modern classic loafers, modern ballet flats and Maryjane’s are adorably comfortable! Always wearing heels with everything is simply not practical, comfortable or effortless looking- too much doesn’t look relaxed and trying too hard. In addition heels are not good for your feet or your posture! My biggest issue is being constantly slighted as a petite! I’m 5’1 1/2 and 119! Many influencers make comments like it will make you look taller! What’s wrong with being shorter? It is difficult to find petite sizes and yet more women are 5’4 and under then not. LOL.
Took the words right out of my mouth!
No man should be making jokes at a woman's expense. That never turns out well. That's a total lack of respect and unloving. I love that you're trusting God to guide you.
Charms on handbags ~ feel very cheesy and too young for the look I am attempting to adapt.
Although it was costly - the best advice my divorce attorney gave me after ending a 27 year marriage - 'The best revenge is a life WELL lived" Listen to your intuition but allow yourself to be free ! You will know what is right for you...Thanks for being real 💚
Link for the black bag pls
Dallas girls nite out n outfits would be interesting..I. still like the other Mr Austin 9 out of 10 boxes checked.
@@sandysandy1937 I know me too!! I miss him and he still messages me:) I may see him again in October When I go to Austin 💙💙
I have. History of toxic relationships and working at great lengths to heal and learn from them. I do know that we need to trust ourselves when something triggers us and I also usually by 4 months before you really see who the person really is. So easy to be wonderful before then. I also like to see their behavior if I disagree with them and how they react when I do. I also have a tendency to make excuses for bad behavior and or minimize it. Not anymore…. People will show you who they are believe them….
. Some things were ok in my 30's but over 50 no, not going to happen appreciate your content and style!
I absolutely hate the barrel leg trend, to me they’re an example of people bending over backward to make a trend work that doesn’t flatter ANYONE imho. No, not even Rosie lol. Leave that one on the side of the road I say!! 😂 I too dislike the bag charm trend, it’s total overkill and actually looks very juvenile to me. I’ll stick with a rodeo on my Birkin and call it a day lol
But - no one should be rudely critical, I’m sorry you have to put up with people that don’t know how to be civil.
I like your shorts outfit. You look pretty.
I'd be curious what the "little jokes" are. It's one thing to be understandably sensitive after a divorce, it's another if this is passive aggressive behavior on his end. Anywhoo, I'm sure you'll be fine either way!
I was also wondering about the jokes myself. Were they personally directed at you- your appearance, style or mannerisms? Were they off- color by your standards? I'm in the dark on this one again.
No ballet flats!
I love long cardigans, until I put them on and feel frumpy.
Nope. I own flat maryjanes & get compliments every time I wear them. They look great.