Showing Realistic Grief - Manchester By The Sea
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มี.ค. 2017
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In this video essay I examine the techniques writer and director Kenneth Lonergan uses to portray realistic grief in Manchester By the Sea.
Watch Manchester By the Sea for free on Amazon Prime: amzn.to/2y6Z7ec
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One of the most astounding element of this film is, quite frankly, its awkwardness. Or rather the awkwardness that emanates from a human being trying to share his grief to another human being. It truly captures the immensity of how difficult it is for people to connect on the unspeakable sufferings they go through in life. Such a wonderful film.
Seen this movie about 2 months ago and still can't get it out of my head. Brilliant film 😊
This is so true. This movie is an eye opener on the difficulty of communication, and the tragedy that it creates.
love this comment. thank u for this
Wow this is what I was tryna figure out. Thanks for putting it this way. It’s the awkwardness.
Curious Wolf woah. Damn.
I loved the subtle ways they used to show the trauma that Casey Affleck's character still feels from the fire. He stood next to the microwave and watched it until it was done heating up his food.
Good catch! I remember not knowing why that shot was in the film, but that actually makes perfect sense.
@@sandman9932 Yeah. That scene just escaped me. I thought it was just showing Lee lost in thought while doing mundane things. I'm like that at times. I can totally zone out xeroxing when depressed & I thought Lee was zoning out while microwaving. Lost in thought. Looking all attentive when not really.
Thats not groundbreaking or mindblowing or whatsoever lol
F is the bomb who said it was groundbreaking or mind blowing? Calm down you fool. It’s a clever detail.
I didn’t realize until after I saw it the impact of Patrick’s panic attack. I thought he was finally breaking down, but likewise, it was just a little detail about something being in the freezer, like his dad was.
The freezer scene is one of the best I've ever seen in cinema.
It´s really interesting how that particular scene has a lot of elements like comedy, mess, sadness and honesty. It feels so genuine.
My mom and I were the only ones laughing in the theater then we were the only ones loudly sobbing. All within a few seconds. Just a whiplash of emotions.
the realest scene in any movie ever
@@jackierosas9593 What? Can you please explain what part of the movie that was
The police station scene and the scene with Michelle williams are incredible too
The best scene is the conversation between him and his ex wife when they come across each other on the street. THE most beautifully written dialogue in a scene EVER. Two people who have gone through the same tragedy who are both dealing with their grief in different ways and both desperately want to reconnect. But he will forever feel like he doesn't deserve a second chance at life no matter how bad she might want that second chance for him. This is seriously a greater tragedy than any Shakespeare tragedy.
I have cried every single time I have seen the scene or have been reminded of it
It’s one of the finest acted scenes I’ve ever seen.
She is trying to show him that in the long run he will survive only if he keeps walking the long dark process of grieving. But he's stuck in one spot and her renewed love for him (as a friend only this time) can't get through. They are both so helpless in this scene its unforgettable.
Affleck won the Best Actor that year, deservedly do. Williams was nominated, but did not win. She should have for that scene alone. The writing is spot on. When she says, 'let me finish' is exactly what my wife says. Williams' acting there was so f---ing honest, real, and heartbreaking. They say in screenwriting class, dialogue is not filled with fits and starts. It's how life should be, flows smootly, no mistakes.
This film shows the most powerful and realistic dialogue is in fits and starts and is awkward. Kudos to the screenwriter.
@@scottslotterbeck3796 agreed, she absolutely should have won - her performance was so real, it was phenomenal
the movie is only 2 hours 17 mins lenght but it feels like forever... i can feel the pain right into my chest from the very beginning. Casey was amazing in it, he really deserved those oscar!
It did to me. I didn't want it to end
Yes! The whole time I had a weird feeling in my chests and stomach. I wanted to pause it but when I did I would just think. The acting was phenomenal. And man don’t even even get me started on that police scene. Heart wrenching.
I still have no clue how they made this masterpiece of a directed movie, everything was so real
i still have no clue how they did not awarded it with best picture...
The attempted suicide at the police station had me in tears. Watched it over and over
Kevin Jones just a REMARKABLE scene. I watched it over and over as well.
It's because you're empathetic. It's exactly what any of us who are would want to do if that just happened. I know I would just want to die...
Except it was predictable and set up to clean...You can see him get ready for it..telegraphing the move..oh well
Virtually no dialogue. And none needed. Devastating.
@@BX0207 Do better. If you can, which you can't. Waiting to see you get the Oscar.
“healing might be possible, but it won’t be cinematic.” what an excellent line, and an amazing video essay. i never comment on youtube videos but i was blown away by that.
No it wasn't. It was just somebody wasting time saying obvious things about an extremely accessible movie, overanalyzing little details to try to seem profound. This is extremely lazy "intellectualism".
@@john.premosewhat's your idea of something mind blowing or profound? Genuinely curious, but cant lie - your needlessly inflammatory response does piss me off both because its unnecessary and I appreciated the video.
@@FleccaRobinson I believe my point (in this 2 month old comment which I don't even really remember now) was that they were trying to compare it to or even say this movie was better than Shakespeare, but it's not. It's just easier than reading Shakespeare. None of that was profound. It was a good movie but just because it's accessible doesn't mean it's that deep.
The messy paramedic scene was a mistake on set. And Lonergan was genius enough to keep it.
I burst out laughing during that scene - one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.
Ya because those stretchers are battery operated and go up on their own..
No shit! It seems so intentional with the awkwardness of the movie.
@@BX0207 that's clearly a model that doesnt have a battery operated stretcher
@@gevseI didn't realize that was supposed to be funny.
Nobody understands why I love this "depressing" movie so much.. thank you!!!!
It's brilliantly acted and written. Most importantly, it kicks the audience in the gut, over and over again.
Visual experience ❤️❤️
“Grief doesn’t obey the rules , grief doesn’t stop and start when it’s best suits the next beat in a screen play structure, grief can sneak up on you returning long after you wanted to , and sometimes it’s not there when it feels like it should be”
Just wow absolutely amazing quote 💔
I wished more people understood this concept and would stop telling others useless advice like "get over it" or what have you. If they care about people properly, they would give hurting people more space/listening ears than be toxic bystanders.
When he dreamt about his daughters and they asked if they were burning that gutted me. It conveyed the pain and regret perfectly.
What Lee never discussed with Patrick was that Patrick was not really upset about that his Dad was in a Freezer until they could bury him, but that he was never going to see or talk to his Dad again. That is really the essence of grief.
why are these type of videos on youtube always have similar voice for the narrator?
There's a video essayist illuminate that dictates how we can speak.
@@ThomasFlight lol
Lmfao... It's just the meta bro
They’re all the same dude
I somehow always get a thought in my head about how much I like those video essay voices
I never saw this movie but watching these clips nearly made me feel sick. I've been through quite a bit of moments like this at funerals. I come from an Irish-Catholic family that doesn't show their emotions. It makes me think of my Grandmother's wake and funeral. Of me trying to connect with the people there and share in my grief and it not being met. Of me bursting into tears in the car next to my cousin and him just ignoring me and talking over me. It was one of the loneliest moments of my life and made me realize I couldn't connect with my family in a way that I needed and I need to move on and find that connection elsewhere. I know this film may be brilliant...but I don't think I'll be able to watch it.
watch it!! one of the best ever.
@@thorbeorn4295 Lol he just explained why he won't be able to watch it.
Watch the film!
@@HAL--gb6uf Yeah, I get that, but maybe a good cry would help.
OMG hi.
Fantastic analysis. Short. Straight to the point with out the bloat. This film really surprised me as I was just waiting for that big emotional payoff to occur and it constantly subverted my expectations at every turn. In fact that the most emotionally satisfying moment for me was the scene towards the end of the film where they are playing the ball on the road. Was just wonderful to watch. Subscribed.
Thanks! I was debating ending the essay on that scene because it also felt very emotionally satisfying to me.
The worst break down I had during this movie was when he met Michelle Williams character on the street. Something about the awkwardness made my heart skipped a beat and then it broke my heart the next second. That is one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie.
It took me time to figured it out, but the scene where they are playing ball in the street after the funeral is literally brilliant, totally agree with you
@@ThomasFlight Sir, this was a fantastic post. The analysis of both the movie and the subject of grief was illuminating. Grief doesn't obey the rules--spot on.
@@d43imoet the love they still have for one another, when she says, I love you. Ugh!
Great job! This is exactly what I have been telling people when talking about why this film was so amazing. I would argue, in extension to showing realistic grief, that film itself might never accurately and fully display the deepest capacities of sorrow. Manchester By the Sea distances itself from the most intense moments of grief as if saying that it is not able capture those emotions truly. Replicating deep grief as a cinematic experience for the spectator, by highlighting dramatic moments, would do a disservice to its authenticity, or so I believe. However, excellent work! Keep making these video essays!
Thank you, and I think you're totally right. I love the idea that the film is restraining itself, to keep from "lying" because it knows it's own limitations.
I liked the ending because it wasn't tied up in a neat bow. He still wasn't done with his grief and his trauma but it seemed like he actually had hope that he could eventually get back to being a functional person.
Besides from keeping things more realistic and raw, I think that camera distance and silence help sustain the traumatic feeling about tragedy. It's almost like reality is so harsh, that not even the movie can bear saying it outloud or looking at it directly.
The grief never goes away it fades and Sometimes it comes back all at once. Such a great depiction of what it's actually like.
I noticed that during the story, it's always a cold weather, but Lee's trauma comes from heat, the fire, showing us a painful contrast.
Also the contrast between the trauma from fire and Patricks breakdown of the freezer
In our lives we can't call 'time out' to deal with profound grief and other hardships. This gem of a movie illustrates this well. A well done look into coping under emotional stress.
I always come back to this video for you saying “And healing might be possible, but it won’t be cinematic. It won’t come from a moment like this one. But it might come from a moment, like this” Such a beautiful analysis and moment in the video.
Good stuff. I think this movie caught me off guard with it's abrupt grief as opposed to the, for lack of a better word, manufactured grief that many movies show. It's a movie that, while I recognized was very good when I was watching it, has stuck with me and gotten better in my mind over just the last few weeks.
To me this movie is a masterpiece. I suffer from depression myself and have cried myself through the movie because I see so much of myself in Lee. To me, the climax of the film is when Lee decides to move back and says "I can't beat it". I still don't fully understand this film or that line, and they never explain exactly what is means. But I guess he confesses that he can't stand being in Manchester because of his grief.
That line refers to how he can’t beat the guilt and shame in living in the same town where he killed his children.
He is unable to move on from his ex-wife. While he has managed to accept the loss of his children (and is why he is able to see them everyday in the picture frames) he has not been able to heal the loss of his wife (when he arrives at the hospital he still refers to her as his wife). Logically he knows their relationship is over but he still loves her and she him. The pain of seeing her but not being with her in that city is unbearable for him. Sadly even though Boston gives him some respite he is still stuck in his grief even there (he fights in the bar in Boston just as he fights back home).
Can he really not beat it or is that just what the character believes about himself. It’s up to the viewer if he’s right or not
5:15 That is EXACTLY what I experienced when my father passed away last year. The emotions came up whenever I didn't expect them whereas when you'd expect me to cry the most, I couldn't.
A friend told me he didn't think the panic attack scene was realistic since his own panic attacks wherent the same....i just wanted to out him to the world as an idiot.
NostalgiNorden lmao
Well, the guy was not a doctor ..... he said about not knowing what it is, maybe panic attack...yeah you are right it was not how panic attack looks.
I had panic attacks similar to that. My body would start to numb, my stomach would cramp and a throbbing vibration circles around my head. Its very painful.
panic attacks are different for each person. some shut down, some cry and shake, some don’t make a sound. your friend is kinda an idiot lmao
Bro that guy has no idea people who have panic attacks have different expriences
I've always wondered as to why the funeral scene of Lee's kids was deleted! But then I came to interpret that the movie tries to study characters in grief rather than coming up with cinematic emo scenes!
Writer's magic and Casey's portrayal!
agreed - I saw the funeral scene somewhere on youtube after having seen the movie in theater; and I immediately thought, I'm so glad they chose to cut that one out. We see the body bags, and that is all we need to know. I think usually it makes a film more successful to show as little as possible.
@@laurahenke Actually, I wanted that scene to be in the film. I felt it was powerful. I was stunned to learn that Lee couldn't/didn't attend the funeral while Randi was looking all around for him. It made me better understand why Lee was so ostracized by the community.
3 years later. I'm still obsessed with the movie and Now I think the Deleted Funeral scene should've made the cut.
6 years later. What the Fook you on about bro?
@@senthilvelan544 how are you man
There's months from the day I watched this movie and until now I cannot really explain how it touches me. The tone, the rithym, those weird truly relations with the people he left behind, it's exactly what happens when se meet somebody from the neighborhood or the family, those compassive eyes to him and I recoginzed myself on his routine, his absence of purpose in getting out of this situation, he is just living cause he cannot end It. I felt really conected and sad about what happens to him. One of my favorits of ALL time
Such an incredible, brilliant and moving film. It portrays grief for what it is: messy, catatonic, angry and confusing; and, speaking from experience, a film that is cathartic for those suffering from grief.
Oh my god besides buying beer, he bought diapers, so sad
I'm a guy who doesn't agree very often with anyone but this is spot on
Totally agree with your analysis because that's what I've been through with the death of my cousin. The grief, it hits you at the moment you don't expect, this movie truly captures my feeling and thought about death and the guilty of the living.
Ouch. I didn't understand this film when I watched it a few years ago. Now, seeing your essay, after my mother passed away recently, it cuts deeply.
i’m sorry about your mother😪
What a great break-down you've done of this movie. REALLY good job. This helped me understand the difference between making a masterpiece like this movie, and just making a...movie.
Beautiful video. Reminded me of my own real life grief and how exquisitely personal it is, including when it surfaces. Thankyou Thomas.
Him holding up the grocery bag to the EMTs guts me everytime 💔💔💔💔💔💜💜💜💜💜
Tremendous, sensitive analysis and commentary - I completely agree. This movie has remained deep in my consciousness months after viewing. Well done
Excellent analysis. Thank you so much for your thoughtful work on the film. Just watching some of these clips again made me cry. An outstanding work of cinematic art.
Even years after first viewing this review I'm still moved by it. Mr. Flight's uncanny ability to both notice and then articulate the subtleties of this film impress me.
Interestingly enough, this past Monday (12/30/2019) I was at the funeral of my best friend's father. At the grave-site and as if on queue, his newborn baby boy began crying so loudly that his frustrated wife had to step far away from the group. I instantly thought of this scene and mentioned it to her (She has not seen the film). Just as Thomas points out, life isn't tidy and it certainly isn't scripted, and she shouldn't expect otherwise. After saying this, I offered to hold her baby so that she could focus on the graveside service. I would like to think that Thomas' observations of this film helped me to in turn help her at such an important moment in her life.
In my experience in working with people in who have recently lost someone, grief has as many faces as there are people’s characters. Emotions we feel range from anger, through sadness, depression...but sometimes these people seem to feel nothing at all. There is no drama that we could notice as external observers. There could be no crying and no anger outbursts. Sometimes people just handle their daily tasks worse, more slowly...sometimes they start having marital problems. In some cases people start experiencing psychosomatic disorders of many types. And sometimes grief is just in awkward moments that our lives are full of.
this movie doesnt want u to love it, it just deserves your love by just being itself
wow that was said beautiful
I didn't understand the film when it came out. After going through some personal issues and life experiences, now I get it. It's so beautifully done.
Well explained. From a deeper understanding this movie touches your soul when you start seeing every character unfolds. Every characters emotion and character building is perfect. The movie cinematography is so surreal but eventful compared to other grief movies.
The way you describe this movie giving distance during intimate scenes of grief was part of what makes the burial scene at the end of the Bone book, Crown of Horns, so fantastic and emotional.
Wow, what a great commentary! Really nice work on cinematographic analysis and interpretation of the reality of grief. Great example of analysing emotion in cinema in historical and generic contexts, as well.
I really love this movie, watched it multiple times when I first saw it, the music and the development of the characters and storyline plus even the sound of Affleck’s voice and his body language is just so perfect
Deservedly won best actor Oscar. Williams should have won as well
I only watched it a few days ago. wow... Hit me like a tonne of bricks. This movie knows a thing or two about real grief. When Adagio in G minor starts playing. OMG. Some of the most powerful cinematic moments ever. I have watched a lot of movies in my time. Affleck's performance was so real. Stunning.
Well done, sir! Your analysis is (not only) spot on, but it made me feel as emotionally as this PERFECT film did.
DO NOT EVER STOP making these videos...............please...........................thank you.......................
I plan to keep making them! We'll see where I'm at in 20 years though haha.
Whoa … this is an Excellent analysis of this film. The best I’ve seen. Thank you for making it available to us.
thank you for making this. it is so true that sadness will shoot you in the back in a way only it can.
Incredible review and explanation of this film, you have a true talent to break down the slightest of elements, great work!
You made me appreciate the movie even more now - THANK YOU.
People with good taste love this movie but people with Depression, PTSD or Suicidal tendencies will feel this movie and I belong to the latter category.
this movie always brings me to tears. the pain it conveys is unlike anything else
Everything in that movie was so realistic, I was glued to it moment by moment for the whole film. Quite special.
I think what I appreciate about the style of this film, is that even though it is a film, it plays out exactly how real life would. The Stretcher in ambulance scene is definitely something that would happen in real life after a horrible tragedy. Films re-shoot scenes multiple times, to make sure it's perfect. The fact the Director left that scene in even as an awkward/goofy situation, reflects the imperfect goofy awkward situation that would happen when you would hope it wouldn't. As a viewer watching that, you kinda chuckle even after experiencing that horrific event that played out beforehand, and suddenly your emotions are thrown into disarray, because you're sad about what just happened, but this small silly scene was funny, but for lee and everyone else who knows what lee just experienced standing there watching it play out is heart wrenching. It seems like a way for the Director to make the viewer look at Lee and feel even more sorry than they previously had. Then you just spend the rest of the film hoping that Lee can finally experience something positive.
Brilliant film! Accurate analysis of director's intentions on grief. Well done! Life is crueler than cinema, but this was life cinema. . .
this movie changed my life. I was going through a pivotal moment in my life which still continues to this day. God bless if there is one
This movie really got to me. How the director tackled such a sad subject is so much more effecting than the cinematic cliches you talked about.
It really is the most beautifully heartbreaking movie
What a nice essay! I literally feel connected with the movie since I first watched but I wasn't able to explain why. You put words where I couldn't find what to say, thank you. 😎
Your video essays are just so good dude. Keep it up please
This is one of my top 10 best movies. Love the emotions, the Acting and score😍
Only watched this and the ok soda vid (so far) but I'm blown away. this is really high quality stuff
Keep these videos coming! Great content, man.
you need to deliver a similar video essay like this but from phantom thread , which is such a great film with a plenty of material to be analyzed. Congrats on such a deep-emotional review
Great video. I love this movie, and the way you analyze it is on point. Subscribed!
Absolutely amazing analysis. This explains what i felt like whenever watching this movie 🙏🏻
This movie has a special place in my heart
2:02 - 2:43
Definitely! Why the film's emotions captivated me so much.
Great analyse ! Thanks, it made me remind how much I loved this movie, and why I loved it that much
It's crazy because, the entire time, I was waiting for the turn around to happen; especially during the boat scene with Lee, Patrick, and Sandy. It just never came.
Do you think it would have been better if it did?
@@scottslotterbeck3796 No. It would defeat the whole premise if the film.
i keep coming back to this movie. its unbelivable
It was hard for me to pinpoint exactly what made Manchester by the Sea resonate so well for me, but you managed to do that here. It is true that it's ultimately Kenneth' s direction and how he films the scenes, using a soft melancholic musical score set against such a fitting landscape, but also his realistic portrait of grief that elevates the film. To me, this film is much more like an experience. One that feels natural, authentic, real
My favorite realistic depiction of grief is from the show Halt and Catch Fire. They spend a couple episodes showing different people handle loss in different ways. Simple things like cleaning out a house, doing a donation run, chili in a styrofoam bowl... always makes my wife and I breakdown, and I'm not a cryer, but it just reminds me of when I lost my mom to cancer. I remember after it happened, standing in her bathroom - staring at her toothbrush, towl, makeup. Objects waiting for their owner to come home, but they had already been used for the last time. How the show handles that moment solidified it as my personal favorite.
I really enjoyed this thank you, I have learned so much more from this film thanks to you.
My favorite movie of all time. Real. Brilliant. Heartbreaking.
I adore this film and you've put everything I wanted to say into words. Subbed!
Well I think I found my new favorite video essay Channel.
it feels less like a movie and more like reality
- best quote
Whoever made this is awesome. Really awesome.
Another scene that perfectly captured grief was coming home to your deceased loved ones home, they completely caught the atmosphere and made me remember what it was like when my grandfather died.
Love. This was my favorite movie from last year...add in C Affleck and William's performances, and this is just a perfect film in my opinion..
Great video. Glad you're getting more recognition nowadays
I remember after watching this movie I couldn't get out it for days, maybe even longer. This is one of the films that I couldn't bear watching it twice.
such great commentary. loved your take on this!
Thoughtful and intelligent analysis.
That movie really had an impact on me. It’s stuck w me through the years. It’s very memorable
Thomas Flight this is fantastic. I"ve just binged watched your videos. Keep it up man
Thank you! New video every month at least!
I love your insight! I watched this movie and really appreciated the realness of it.
Very well examined. Thank you for your insights!
Love the Sopranos reference at 5:43. Amazing videos!
One of the greatest movies in the cinematic history in my opinion, I can’t describe how great it is.
The acting in this movie was on another level, i dont think i have seen an acting as good as in this movie before
I’ll have to rewatch this masterpiece
Excellent video :) good analysis & straightforward explanations. Thank you!
This was great, thank you for your time on this.
Lovely, insightful commentary. Thanks for posting.
These essays are awesome you deserve so much more subscribers oh man....