My husband has a Coke addiction for almost 20 yrs. We have 2 kids, 9 and 5, and we all live together. He's been binging for days went from 4-8days now. I finally kicked him out(gave him 30days) but now I'm struggling w how to explain to the kids because they love him so much!!! When he's sober he spoils them and loves them dearly but it's only 2 weeks out of a month. How can I explain to my lil ones that daddy is moving out???? I kinda hinted as a joke would they be mad if we replaced dad w a dog and they said yes! They would be mad... i was just fishing to see if maybe they too have felt the tensión but obviously not. I work tirelessly to keep us busy and away from him when he's binging. So they don't see too much. What can I do? My heart is breaking thinking about breaking their lil hearts. I hope u reply... I'm desperate. 😭🙏🙏
Thank you. This is one I'll watch again and again. Weighty complexity deserving tender strength likely in short supply with generational childhood trauma. Step by step. Prayer by prayer.
Our ten year old granddaughter saw her grampa tell her mom she’s couldn’t be at our our house anymore because she stole $2000. Unfortunately it was heated confrontation. Our daughters addiction to crack is getting so bad. We reinforce with her that it’s not her fault and that everyone loves her and her mom and are trying to help her get better so her family can be back together. So hard !!!
Thank you for this topic. I have 3 boys the oldest is currently receiving treatment. One of my priorities was to not let this affect the relation with his younger siblings but unfortunately it got to the point that it was out of my control. Now, I have come to the conclusion that I will do whatever I can to be there for my oldest one, but not affecting my time/care for the youngest children. They don't really know what is going on, I have trouble talking about that.. one is in middle school and the other one in elementary.
im an aunt, and me and my mom raised my nephew my brother is a meth addict, has been for 8 years. Hes gotten worse, hes always angry, yelling, screaming, hes verbally abusive, my nephew is 7. he threatens that my nephew will never see us again and that causes anxiety and trauma. he bites his nails,hes anxious. when he sees him now hes starts to cry franctically saying hes not gonna bring him back. we had to kick him out because he started to break things pick fights all the time, doesnt what help, doesnt want rehab, has suicidal idiation, thoughts of criminal stuff to hurt his ex, he curses at his son "fucker!" "stupid",does physically abuse hium. but now hes saying hes gonna take my nephew and live in a hotel. hes broken our door, broken into our home just to use the restroom. hes crashed 4 times. now my nephew today in an act of fear told his teachers hes scared of his father. they may call DCFS, do we join in and just tell the truth. try and take custody? im afraid he can hurt him or put him in harms way. he almost killed him in a car crash already. My nephew didnt have a seat belt, he fell asleep at the wheel. hes trying to make him grow up too fast. My nephew has said as a child he saw him asleep with a pipe. all kind of things, he dont want help, reason we havent said anything is cause he threatens hes gonna take him away from us. what do we do?
This might be answered in another video. But my mother is an alcoholic. She was in my son's life until he was about 3, and she did some things to older grandkids that led to us cutting off contact. So my son is 5 now and my daughter is almost 2 and has never met my mother. I'm very open with my kids about this in an age-appropriate way. We've very tentatively resumed contact with family sessions and there's this hanging question of "when can I see my grandkids, why are you keeping them from me". And I think I'm just stuck on her not being a safe person. She's barely sober, frequently relapsing, and she still has no understanding of how much emotional damage her behavior has caused. From her perspective, my sister and I are the problem for abandoning her. How do I know when/if we can even begin to see her again with the kids? There's so much broken trust and I don't even feel safe talking to her. How do I keep things as safe as possible for them? Everyone is so impatient for us to resume contact and "repopulate" her life for her benefit and I just feel like this is continuing our life-long model of "mom gets her needs met first and everyone else just has to suck it up and deal."
Just found your channel & videos and I’m in the process of trying to find counseling for myself to help navigate this with my son. Any suggestions explaining to a young child (3.5) why is father is suddenly absent and he can’t see him?
My fiancé left me for an entire night and disappeared on me and his 9 yr old daughter! She only comes over on the weekends but she cried and I wasn’t able to explain why he left smh
What is the best way to help your adult children who are very angry at their addicted step dad and say they don’t care if he gets better or he’ll never change. A lot of hurt feelings and resentment. Also have an 11 y/o that’s also “done” with her dad and untrusting of him and his behaviors
Thank you for this topic/ information... my son/addict has two kids by two moms , one mom of the oldest very respectful and allows the one child over and at one point so did the other which "btw" is totally opposite, started insisting that she be given the rights as the other mom ??? Which she's not given ANY . I assume in her mind/ his that she is given special attention, btw the child in question has special needs😶 . However because I refused to discuss the matter and insisted that she not even be in my driveway, she stated she would not be allowing "her" child over any longer. I said to him " the child was not just hers " fast forward, he's told the other child who misses her sister it's all grandma's fault 😶 thank you
Help me! My addict 28 yr daughter has been missing for 2 months. I am terrified that she is lying dead somewhere by herself. I am raising her 6.5 yr old son and he just knows his Mommy is sick.
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My husband has a Coke addiction for almost 20 yrs. We have 2 kids, 9 and 5, and we all live together. He's been binging for days went from 4-8days now. I finally kicked him out(gave him 30days) but now I'm struggling w how to explain to the kids because they love him so much!!! When he's sober he spoils them and loves them dearly but it's only 2 weeks out of a month. How can I explain to my lil ones that daddy is moving out???? I kinda hinted as a joke would they be mad if we replaced dad w a dog and they said yes! They would be mad... i was just fishing to see if maybe they too have felt the tensión but obviously not. I work tirelessly to keep us busy and away from him when he's binging. So they don't see too much. What can I do? My heart is breaking thinking about breaking their lil hearts. I hope u reply... I'm desperate. 😭🙏🙏
“Why doesn’t Daddy want to get better?” I don’t know how to answer, but this question keeps coming.
Thanks for this video.
This is the information I’ve been looking for. (Grandparent who adopted grandchild)❤️
Thank you. This is one I'll watch again and again. Weighty complexity deserving tender strength likely in short supply with generational childhood trauma. Step by step. Prayer by prayer.
You got it Linda. Step by step!
I feel for those of you who have children in the house when dealing with an addicted family member.
It definitely makes things way more complicated.
Our ten year old granddaughter saw her grampa tell her mom she’s couldn’t be at our our house anymore because she stole $2000. Unfortunately it was heated confrontation. Our daughters addiction to crack is getting so bad. We reinforce with her that it’s not her fault and that everyone loves her and her mom and are trying to help her get better so her family can be back together. So hard !!!
It's 10X more complicated when children are involved. So sorry you're going through this Pamela 😥
This is my issues with my daughter and her 11 year old grandson.
Thank you for this topic. I have 3 boys the oldest is currently receiving treatment. One of my priorities was to not let this affect the relation with his younger siblings but unfortunately it got to the point that it was out of my control. Now, I have come to the conclusion that I will do whatever I can to be there for my oldest one, but not affecting my time/care for the youngest children. They don't really know what is going on, I have trouble talking about that.. one is in middle school and the other one in elementary.
That's good thinking and good boundaries!
Erika FHndez you are a good and loving mom.
im an aunt, and me and my mom raised my nephew my brother is a meth addict, has been for 8 years. Hes gotten worse, hes always angry, yelling, screaming, hes verbally abusive, my nephew is 7. he threatens that my nephew will never see us again and that causes anxiety and trauma. he bites his nails,hes anxious. when he sees him now hes starts to cry franctically saying hes not gonna bring him back. we had to kick him out because he started to break things pick fights all the time, doesnt what help, doesnt want rehab, has suicidal idiation, thoughts of criminal stuff to hurt his ex, he curses at his son "fucker!" "stupid",does physically abuse hium. but now hes saying hes gonna take my nephew and live in a hotel. hes broken our door, broken into our home just to use the restroom. hes crashed 4 times. now my nephew today in an act of fear told his teachers hes scared of his father. they may call DCFS, do we join in and just tell the truth. try and take custody? im afraid he can hurt him or put him in harms way. he almost killed him in a car crash already. My nephew didnt have a seat belt, he fell asleep at the wheel. hes trying to make him grow up too fast. My nephew has said as a child he saw him asleep with a pipe. all kind of things, he dont want help, reason we havent said anything is cause he threatens hes gonna take him away from us. what do we do?
This might be answered in another video. But my mother is an alcoholic. She was in my son's life until he was about 3, and she did some things to older grandkids that led to us cutting off contact. So my son is 5 now and my daughter is almost 2 and has never met my mother. I'm very open with my kids about this in an age-appropriate way. We've very tentatively resumed contact with family sessions and there's this hanging question of "when can I see my grandkids, why are you keeping them from me". And I think I'm just stuck on her not being a safe person. She's barely sober, frequently relapsing, and she still has no understanding of how much emotional damage her behavior has caused. From her perspective, my sister and I are the problem for abandoning her. How do I know when/if we can even begin to see her again with the kids? There's so much broken trust and I don't even feel safe talking to her. How do I keep things as safe as possible for them? Everyone is so impatient for us to resume contact and "repopulate" her life for her benefit and I just feel like this is continuing our life-long model of "mom gets her needs met first and everyone else just has to suck it up and deal."
hey there. if i may, did you resume contact w your mom and kids visiting together?
Just found your channel & videos and I’m in the process of trying to find counseling for myself to help navigate this with my son. Any suggestions explaining to a young child (3.5) why is father is suddenly absent and he can’t see him?
Can you recommend any videos for kids? (12 years old)
Hi Kristin, Unfortunately I don't have any videos for kids, but I'll be on the look out for some!
My fiancé left me for an entire night and disappeared on me and his 9 yr old daughter! She only comes over on the weekends but she cried and I wasn’t able to explain why he left smh
💔
How can I get in contact with Kim Garrett?
Hi Tina, Here's a link that tells you about how to shedule a consultation with Kim: www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/consultations
What is the best way to help your adult children who are very angry at their addicted step dad and say they don’t care if he gets better or he’ll never change. A lot of hurt feelings and resentment. Also have an 11 y/o that’s also “done” with her dad and untrusting of him and his behaviors
It helps to validate their feelings and frustrations.
Thank you for this topic/ information... my son/addict has two kids by two moms , one mom of the oldest very respectful and allows the one child over and at one point so did the other which "btw" is totally opposite, started insisting that she be given the rights as the other mom ??? Which she's not given ANY . I assume in her mind/ his that she is given special attention, btw the child in question has special needs😶 . However because I refused to discuss the matter and insisted that she not even be in my driveway, she stated she would not be allowing "her" child over any longer. I said to him " the child was not just hers " fast forward, he's told the other child who misses her sister it's all grandma's fault 😶 thank you
Help me! My addict 28 yr daughter has been missing for 2 months. I am terrified that she is lying dead somewhere by herself. I am raising her 6.5 yr old son and he just knows his Mommy is sick.
Hi Cathy, I'm so sorry you're in such a terrible situation. I know that must be terrifying.