Aye listen I just want to tell you guys that Jesus loves you and have faith in Him. He will heal you. He healed me and delivered me from a life of purposelessness, being lost, lonely, and so much more. ❤️
I started feeling passive aggresive when people started teeling me "I'm being too angry for everything". With all my anger bottled up, and me being passive-aggresive, I started talking less. Because if I did, I may go a bit too far with the tone and the words. And when I do talk, I try so hard to not sound offensive, yet they never see it.
Society is so lost lately that everyone is passive-agressive nowadays. Everyone is angry, most people feel depressed, it is hard to be nice and ever harder to find someone who is kind.
Ppl can’t even directly tell you that they don’t want to hang out anymore or that they won’t do what you asked them to do, and literally just flake without any explanation. I don’t get why ppl just communicate. 😒
I am being gaslit by my passive-aggressive best friend. She only popped out with her true colors after covid and a heart attack! Now she is very very mean. Not a kind word, and even though i am sitting here with broken ribs from a fall, she is pissed off I did not wash her and her husb dirty dishes from this whole week. They let them sit because it is a "control" they want to have over me. When i ask her "how are you?" I get a frown and "Not so good!" Mind you I have broken bones!! And pneumonia! Fever! I am like "well I am sorry.", as I get near end of hallway I hear "Why didnt you do the dishes!" in a barely audible tone that is seething with anger. So later I pop in where she is and say "well I am gonna say goodnight. My phobe is dead so I cant text", she never looks up at me! So i say "I am for being so sick. I feel as if it angers you and not sure why". I get "Im not mad" in a monotone I-am-really-mad voice still not looking! THAT boys and girls is passive-aggressive behavior! She is angry over dishes she dirtied while I am trying to get the pain under control cos I cant eat or sleep or breathe like this. Unbelievably petty really! And she knows it and thats why she has to divert from full on saying to my face that she is angry I cant just ignore the searing pain in my side and fever I have which is quite possibly COVID(!) and wash the dishes she and hubby dirty! I mean honestly you would think broken ribs and torn cartilage would be easy to manage while doing every piece of silverware and cup saucer and bowl in the house! Right?! Lol Sorry. But I needed to get that out! Gaslighting is very painful. Merry Christmas right? Maybe I have helped someone else being tortured byva P-A loved one.
It is your responsibility as an adult to grow and strengthen yourself and to understand yourself more. It's your responsibility to develop courage and learn how to stand against people that are using you to boost their own power. This is the adult world we live in and no, it is not fair. But nobody can help you but yourself. It is a difficult and often painful process (growth) but this is your only life and should be your top priority, because the older you get without figuring these things out, the worse it can get. I spend a lot of my life being a naive people pleaser. It led me to deep depression and social anxiety, self hatred, and resentment. Absolute hell. Now I am very keen at reading people, I know how to navigate social situations and deal with manipulative/passive aggressive people to the point where they go from trying to tear me down to respecting me. It takes time but you can move forward a little bit every day. It's really important to give up any bad habits and addictions you have because they rob you of your focus and make it difficult to move forward.
I definitely try to take breathers when i can. Since working at walmart. after covid. i think my people skills are REMARKABLY better than before i worked at walmart. honestly forcing myself in a positiom like talking to customers. especially. ALOT of customers. has helped me grow SO MUCH more as a person i didnt realize how much i was lacking in some ways
I Have Severe High Functioning Autism And I've Been In And Out Of The System Since I Was 6 Years Old Also I'm Extremely Passive And Aggressive Towards Those Whom Hurts Oppresses And Takes Advantage Of Those Whom Are Trying To Live Righteous Lifestyles. I'm Extremely Opionated So I Speak My Mind Telling People What They Need To Hear And Not What They Want To Hear.
I hope your life has improved since then but I need to tell you something. It is your responsibility as an adult to grow and strengthen yourself and to understand yourself more. It's your responsibility to develop courage and learn how to stand against people that are using you to boost their own power. This is the adult world we live in and no, it is not fair. But nobody can help you but yourself. It is a difficult and often painful process (growth) but this is your only life and should be your top priority, because the older you get without figuring these things out, the worse it can get. I spend a lot of my life being a naive people pleaser. It led me to deep depression and social anxiety, self hatred, and resentment. Absolute hell. Now I am very keen at reading people, I know how to navigate social situations and deal with manipulative/passive aggressive people to the point where they go from trying to tear me down to respecting me. It takes time but you can move forward a little bit every day. It's really important to give up any bad habits and addictions you have because they rob you of your focus and make it difficult to move forward.
This fits in my case i'm not good at expressing my feelings, forget other ppl i cant even with my family members. Since i'm like this from childhood now its really hard to cut off my leash :(
Once someone was being passive aggressive to me and kept saying the same thing so I called them out(it was just us both) and they awkwardly laughed it off while changing the subject, they never done it again.
when you mentioned parents helping children to deal with their feelings it made me realize what a great thing we had in Mr. Rogers. he did just that, and much more.
My mom would always insult me whenever I wanted to talk instead of addressing it angrily, but other siblings were always allowed to throw tantrums but I would get a good scolding, it got to a point where I would get massive headaches and then tears would flow out. This video described me perfectly.
@@thepillows1235 exactly, it's so mentally tiring and then I can't even talk to anyone about it properly because then it seems like I want to cause problems
thank you for this. i noticed that i've been being passive-aggressive whenever i express my anger without giving myself some time to process it. and uh, yeah, i think what you've delivered really helps in some ways. and i'll try to pull myself back to reality and take some time before acting. much love, keep up the good contents
It's not. It's just made up by TH-cam psychology channels for an audience. "Passive aggressive personality disorder" is not an illness recognized by professionals and doesn't exist with the latest DSM being the 5th one.
I think we’re all guilty of being passive aggressive at some point but it’s when it becomes habitual that you realize that something is wrong. I was passive-aggressive in my youth and it’s not until I distanced myself from narcissistic family members that I realized that it was a reactionary survival response to the toxic home environment. I began learning healthy relationship habits and my overall emotional and psychological well-being improved greatly. Having healthy relationships especially when growing up will negate the likelihood of developing passive-aggressive behavior. My only regret is that I didn’t seek help sooner from mental health therapist coz it would have saved me years of depression and anxiety. Always remember to be kind to yourself.
I remember that i used to be really expresive with what i felt and always make a drama about it. Then my parents told me i had to be more respectful to adults, so i started to do everything they told me to, but not in the best way i could. Thanks for the vid, i really want to improve now in that aspect.
I was pretty much a scapegoat of a family, so being passive-aggressive became my way of rebellion without openly rebel. Now people just say I'm being petty af
Im this way because I used to act out so much on my little sister and instead of my therapists and parents telling me how to control my anger and manage through it calmly, i was instead hit, told to oppress my emotions, and yelled at for the behavior. And somehow I was the problem 😃
I’m sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. You were not the problem and I hope you know that now. I never thought about this. My siblings and I were also hit growing up or yelled at. It’s always when kids are crying or angry that they get into trouble or are told to stop. I’ve been afraid of my parents because of this and have tried to explain that it’s fear of them not respect for them that keeps me from standing up for myself. If I can’t even stand up to my parents, how am I supposed to stand up to anyone? I’m a doormat. But because my brothers were hit often and I wasn’t because I was afraid to get in trouble, my mom says I then have no reason to be scared of her because she didn’t hit me. My dad has told my sister and I that we were being disrespectful by raising our voices cause we were angry. He’s told my sister she was “being dramatic” for crying and yelling about why he’s disappointed her. My mom is passive aggressive and sticks her nose in everything, so it’s hard to argue with her. My little brother is 1 and screams a lot because he can’t talk a lot yet and his dad (we have different dads) tells him to shut up all the time. I know I’m passive aggressive and I’ve absolutely noticed it in my family members. I definitely want this to change because I don’t like it. It’s still very uncomfortable
Some of my most disappointing moments I’ve had with myself is when I thought it was so “smart” or “sharp” to say something that quietly stabs at the parts of people that the empath in me, knows would hurt the most.
I literally search this video up because I have to deal with someone like this. And omg I can tell when they mean to be malicious and oh boy do I want to beat them up. But you know I could only be rude to them because why does this person choose to be malicious? It's literally so frustrating because why does this person just choose to be bitchy i just can't stand passive-aggressiveness because that is literally what it is. Nobody is doing them anything but they choose to act like some narcissist. Well I could only be rude to them and literally ignore them(like if they call my name I won't answer). And I'm not the only one they choose to act bitchy to its other people. They literally laugh at a school friend that they were malicious to(laughing at the fact that hey mad ever cry) and made that friend feel frustrated. Like the person is literally just bullying people at this point but because it's like you can't even call it out it's also frustrating. And like I can tell they are purposely being indirectly mean and like just negative in general but choose to be fake and stuff. I'm in tertiary institution which is why it's frustrating because it's not scl, I really don't want no bitchy person to make my studies miserable. 2. This person is like a pet to the lecturers and literally like indirectly bullying people but you can't really call it out. 3. The people that did call it out got blamed instead by the lecturers because this person is just so sneaky and mean spirited for no absolute reason. 4. Beside the friend they knew from school, they don't know us so they have no reason be acting this way and it's so frustrating.
I'm in the same position as you. Combining it with self-harm as a coping mechanism, I had to constantly surround myself with people just to make sure I won't do anything stupid at some point. I regret saying the meanest shit I could ever said in my life and the sad part about it is I didn't actually mean it. I was simply angry and filled with frustration at the time.
This is actually highly insightful. Thank you for posting this, I'll be sure to learn from this, in understanding other people and attempting to change myself to get rid of this nasty habit.
Wooow this explains so much during my childhood! Since I was 13 years old I had a feelin of anger that I was starving to express, being raised around a type of "Christian" passive aggressive parents there's no such place for anger, frustration, or any type of aggression, so a nasty Frankenstein I accidentally created is named sarcasm. Now I am solely working through the angers I held since my teen years and I have been feeling much better by practicing socializing and expression my emotions thru art and music. The most scary part is confrontation and I am willing to take that risk everyday and speak what is on my mind (I be sure to think thoroughly). This has helped me understand this behavior much more and Thank You!
I was recently told that I was passive aggressive and got really defensive because I didn’t believe it, but after looking into it later I basically had an “oh shit” moment because it describes so much of my behaviors that I never noticed before 😬 I’m lowkey annoyed that I wasn’t called out on this sooner but ig that’s the affect it has huh
Growing up in a emotionally toxic environment I adapted a passive aggressive attitude to deal with toxic people in my life who I unfortunately can't cut out (my parents and some of my distanced family members) and its now how I deal with my frustration or anger, not mention the fact I suffer from anxiety disorder that was developed in the early stages of my teen years when I was left alone with my mom and dad without anyone else to protect me from their toxic behaviour for a sold 6 years (till I went to college)
this! ive been thinking a lot and feeling guilty about the way i act. yes its only around toxic people and people who doesnt respect my feelings. other than that i can express my feeling freely and maturely. being around toxic people and not being able to cut them off really fucks you up. i dont act like myself. i turn into something i dont wanna be because thats the only way to stay sane around them. but from now on i want to freely express my feelings. i dont care if they wont understand, wont respect and wont care.
I can be passive aggressive only when I've been hurt and my patience has been worn thin. I came from a home where any negative emotions was not tolerated. Even I cried because I was sad, it was met with aggression from my parents. So flash forward 29 years, I have a very hard time expressing any negative emotions. I'm a sensitive person and get hurt easily but most people won't know because I hide myself away and cry or have what ever emotions. Though I feel bad being passive aggressive, I often feel like it's my only line of defense.
Im passive aggressive because the people i hate have power over me like teachers or employees i cant shout at them and call them names so i must find another way to take out my anger with denial its all ive got its the only power i have
I’m passive aggressive because my brother would always teas me, and when this would happen I would get defensive. Now a days someone could not even say something mean and I would get defensive and say something in a passive aggressive way.
I am passive-aggressive because it was the only safe way to deal with my father, the only way to deal with bullies in school and get revenge on them without getting in trouble, it was shown to me to be the only appropriate way to strike back. I'm trying to get past it but it's hard.
I'm passive-agressive and I have been since I was a child, ironically I just discovered that some time ago. The problem here is, I do realize this is a bad thing, not only for the people around me but for myself, since I never voice my anger, or the reason why I am upset. I'd like to be more...direct about it, but I don't know how. Not because I don't want to tho, it's more like, I am not allowed to. In my house at least, if I so much as say that I'm angry, no matter if I'm right or not, the people I live with will yell at me and say how ungrateful I am, or "What reason do you have to be angry? Pfft" and stuff like that. I'm not joking when I say that they could trow me out of the house either..so I've learned, since I was little that I had to smile and bear it. Be the "perfect girl" or else... Like this time when I was 6 years old, my cousin came to my house. She wanted to play with either dangerous objects or things that were emotionally valuable for my mom, so of course I didn't let her play with those, I suggested that we played with toys or something like that. Well, next thing I know is, my aunt starts screaming to my mom outside, calling her names, then enters the house, point a finger at me and says "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WE'LL ONLY COME HERE AGAIN WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO ACT LIKE A HUMAN BEING!" Looking at me with a disgusted face, I felt that I couldn't say anything. So I just kept silent, and she stormed away. That happened a couple of times, like when she left her daughter with me because she wanted to chat with her friends, I think I was 5 and the other kid 4, she got hurt running around and the blame was on me. One day she "apologized" tho, I'll never forget that, she came to me with the first fake smile I ever saw, and said "You're not angry with auntie right? Haha". Point is, it's ok if I act like I'm angry because no one picks up on that, but I can't voice it, or I'm just being irrational or unfair. So when I can express it, around other people, I end up being too sarcastic or "aggressive" in a very passive way. That's something I'd really like to change.
My heart hurts for you and your inner child. I've always wondered what causes people to be passive aggressive. After reading this I think: why wouldn't someone, under these conditions, be passive aggressive? It doesn't seem like it was safe to express anything, even if you were being good. Hope you can find a path to peace and can make the changes you desire.
I would LOVE to know you on a more personal level.....And rather you are wrong or right, in my eyes you would be right and I would let you voice your concerns or anger. I would never side against you and I'd always support you no matter what. I would be that person you could always vent to without being judged. Your amazing and everyone should appreciate you!
@@GodisLIGHTTTt The good thing is that I did! Well, they actually did throw me out of the house because I talked back for the first time in my life, but I honestly don't regret it at all. Since that happened I finally felt free. I realized how bad the environment I was living in actually was. I'm also going to therapy now and working on myself, I'm learning so much.
My passive aggressive came from people being angry all the time, but in that moment I found that I can’t change people, I have to see them for who they are and what they show me. The level of disrespect was so extreme and put way too much pressure on me but without a doubt god got me. I’m happier now knowing that niceness is a weakness and kindness is a gift and I won’t change to fit in. Moral of the story is I’ve learnt to handle people and situations how they present themselves to me.
As an often described by my friends as passive aggressive I just see as a way to make ppl not be aggressive and just stand there cus I am AFRAID of raised voices
A friend's mom taught her passive-aggression is safer cause her father would demand or order the mom to do something. If she said no or I don't have time, he'd rage - throw plates, slam doors even punched a hole in the wall. So she always said ok whatever you want honey and then would forget to do it, clothes accidentally got burned when ironing, a red sock accidentally got in the white laundry cause he had a fit about wanting his white tshirts and socks whiter. He wore pink instead of less white for weeks and she smirked about it. Complained dinner wasn't on the table when he came home and not only did she accidentally burn it but set the curtains on fire too. It was revenge on her part.
I truly detest passive aggressive people. Passive aggressive people are not interested in finding solutions to their problems. I also realise that they don't appreciate me being honest about my feelings, cuz to them, the right thing to do is to bottle it so that you won't be a burden to everyone around you. Yesterday, I just called everyone out for not being communicative of their expectations and being petty. Everyone has a problem with everyone else, but no one is interested in solving it.
In group dynamics, passive aggression usually arises from those with less power feeling very limited agency and psychological safety to resolve conflict openly. In my experience, passive aggression is almost always reactive and often weighed internally against more transparent/explicit approaches. Some communities/organizations are not worth the effort to change. Trust, if a group is large enough or has been around for a while, that you’re probably not the first person who has tried to fight tooth and nail for systemic change and improved psychological safety. If everyone has a problem with everyone else, it’s probably been that way for some time. A lot of people can burn out and choose to leave or find an insulated niche within the group that’s just tolerable enough not to leave altogether. I think it’s more realizable to find your allies within the group and if you can’t, ask yourself if this is a sustainable relationship for you at this point in your life.
Why do so many people view passive-aggression as socially acceptable? It's highly manipulative, controlling, cowardly, & spiteful - and the epitome of 'control from the bottom'. It's also done to ensure the aggressor cannot be rejected by the target, yet can fully reject / devalue / shame the target anyway. Ultimately, it's a foolproof way of the aggressor avoiding responsbility for failing to set or maintain appropriate boundaries for themselves, or for refusing to enforce them. Instead, projecting the blame onto the target via passive aggression enables them to escape their own culpability, fraudulently claiming the 'moral high ground' in the process. If you're SO resentful about a thing.... either grow up & deal with it, or have the courage to say something. - Stop expecting everyone to read your mind, it's not fair & it certainly won't make others like you. Nobody likes a bully.
Why are Some Ppl "Passive Aggressive?" 1. They have "Passive Aggressive Personality" disorder. 2. It's easier than being assertive. 3. They desire revenge. 4. Anger is not viewed as "Socially Normal." 5. Hostility w/ a smile is less often called out. 6. They developed the behavior in childhood. *_You're Welcome in advance._*
I have a feeling I'm probably passive aggressive. If I am passive aggressive, it's because I'm trying to control my temper and not be overwhelmingly actively aggressive (think medieval)
I just realized I’m starting to become passive aggressive towards my little sister, I came here for something completely different but now I’ll probably watch myself more when I interact with her :/
My mom would always call me passive aggressive however never took the time to truly help me manage my frustration or anything to help it. This term was thrown around only when a disagreement came about and I spoke or decided I didn’t want to debate about my own feelings ( often times I would be told I’m wrong for feeling this way or that way) long story short I don’t think I’m truly passive aggressive I think I used some passive skills to keep me protected because I’m definitely no good at getting away with underline aggressive behavior... it actually is the thing I despise or because I can see right throw it.
Exactly. It may be a struggle for some people who has dealt with this issue for far longer, but a slow process/progress of trying to become better, and come into terms with it, is better than no progress at all.
Passive aggressive is used so much now because people are now being restraint from saying what they want because the society has put so many restrictions on what you should say what you shouldn't even against some wrong behavior so people become passive aggressive because they don't want to be ridiculed or termed as some ist phobe or insecure and fragile
"How many Genshin Impact references do you want?" Artist: *Yes* - 1:14 = the pyro slime and primogem - 1:56 = the dendro slime - 4:40 = jean, diluc and klee - 4:55 = klee fish blasting - 6:02 = the like button is bennett's burst It's all so cute and I love ittt
I had a passive-aggressive "friend".. it just hurts when they seemed like holding a grudge to you secretly and wouldn't even try to understand when I'm trying to justify. I did try to understand them and I thought maybe, just maybe the root cause of that trait was their experiences. I tried listening to them when they're going through something but it felt like they can't do the same and their passive-aggression and being unapologetic ruined our friendship
your videos are so interesting and helpful. They help me be more self aware and also help me understand other people who have these conditions and how i can help.
When you are in an environment that punishes you for being direct and honest. When there is no health route available for discussion to settle disagreements there is no choice but to be passive aggressive.
Passive aggressive people seem to want to piss others of without being vulgar or rude at the first side. So they be like: "well I guess you realized your point and flipped it because anger is all you're presenting but that was your initial Point right? I know your anger has nothing to do with me. So yet again I'm going to follow doctor C's advice. And just let you deal with your own anger because it has absolutely nothing to do with me. And if you think I'm wrong here's dr. C to tell you that I'm not. I know you won't watch the video because you are going to refuse any logic that would contradict your own strong internal core belief." And if you can´t talk with them as if it´s a normal conversation you should check your mental health.
What is interesting to me is the use of lack of effort as passive aggression when I actually picked up that bad habit because of someone who is passive aggressive. Basically in an attempt to get someone to stop being that way with me I started doing things they didn't like right afterwards to get them to stop their passive aggression, does that mean that when exposed to that kind of person I became like them? They say that is what happens to narcissists, they were likely abused by a narcissist and adopted the personality style to cope with it, could passive aggression be the same? Especially because it is something used by narcissists frequently?
This happened to me too. I def picked up on major fleas from this person. I wasn’t passive aggressive at all before; instead I often got told I was very pleasant to be around (leaving out issues caused by depression and anxiety).
In dealing with narcissists, passive aggression may be the only option. But always best to try to nix any tit for tat merry go round to nowhere. It can decimate relationships.
Because it is difficult for me to express my emotions, i often end up being alone and that hurts me a lot. That’s why I think I should please people and hell them with a smile to feel somehow normal and expect a return of acceptance in society, but when it does not, I feel triggered a lot that why did i put so much effort to make others feel so special, that why did they accept my effort to make themselves feel special if all they had to leave me one day making me feel that it was just a phase. This angers and eventually I burst into aggression and ruin the relationships. I lost one person who was so dear to me that I thought finally I found the love of my life, but because of this behaviour, i lost him forever.
Neither passive aggressiveness nor anxiety are permanent. They are based on your decisions on how you handle them. I've had anxiety and I know others who have had it that don't have it anymore. We have security in our lives and therefore no fear. Please, I encourage you to not believe that anxiety is something you most cope with. I believed that lie too and it kept me in a place of fear. Then I learned the truth and I gave no power to anxiety but to the one who does have power- God. We are set free from these things because God has set us free. Live your life free of anxiety.
I get triggered easily and instead of getting upset about every thing, I try to shrug things off. However I fear it is interpreted as passive aggressive behavior. Its about knowing how to pick your battles--not everything needs to be a fight. I don't need to love everything my boss or colleagues do...
Now I realise, that I have been behaving this way with my small brother during a long time. After number 4, I understood, that in childhood, my parents and the others relatives always told me not to be angry at him, even whet I had real reasons, and I am pretty empathetic, so I often bottle up my bad emotions, because I'm afraid to hurt the others. And now, I've become passive-aggressive towards my brother. I can't control this, like I am annoyed of him even when he just says "Hi". And I think and fear, that he can feel my aggression. I'm really ashamed of that, and I hate myself sometimes for being like that. But before I've watched this video, I hadn't been knowing what am I feeling. Probably now it will be easier for me to control this. Once again, thank you
wow, now I really want to cry, because I feel so sorry for my little brother... yeah, he may be rude and mean to me, but he's like 9 years old... And he didn't deserve such a behaviour as mine:(
Im passive agressive bc i wasnt allowed to express myself at my dads growing up. He didnt want anything that would take away from the better parent title. Hed act surprised when i didnt want to be around and be with my mom.
My issues with Passive Aggressiveness came from a father who would not allow me to express my anger or frustration when he would put me in no-win situations. I was not able to say, "No," not able to express myself about how I was feeling and couldn't stand up for myself against his rage. It was a very nasty situation where the only option I felt I had was to slip into Passive Aggressive behavior. It's awful to be constantly trapped in no-win situations and did not make my relationship with him a good one. He was a bully.
Hey there :] I am a long-time fan of this series and it has helped me a ton! Now that Im hearing more about passive aggression it reminded me alot of my younger sister. She is always salty about something or someone and noone can do anything about it! This can mess from my daily mood- to bigger things such as my work in school and relationships. I really have no idea what to do and our parents just kinda let it slide. I really have nowhere else to ask this but: what do I do to ar least have some kind of communication whit my stubborn sister?
I am so passive aggressive. I can't express myself. From young age I wasn't allowed to. If I was angry it was wrong and unaccepted. If I was excited my mom said I don't have manners. I should behave. Now I can not express any negative or positive emotions. I only smile shyly. Even when people have done me wrong, they never know how I feel about it cus I smile anyway. I went to bed every night singing to myself "emotions are lies, emotions are not valid" because I never felt emotionally safe. Right now, I often feel aloof. Even if I try to express, I don't know where to start. So the only thing to do is to smile at everything.
I think i am passive because i was trained to be. It was easier than being angry when others didn't respect my feelings (aka mom bringing up things 30 years after i told her to stop bring up one bleeping issue that always caused me pain...). Aggressiveness makes me hide and avoid the world... interesting thought huh?
I think passive-aggressive behaviors can arise in situations where the person who is upset does not feel they are in a safe place to talk about it. Those in a relationship with someone who doesn't exactly promote free speech may turn to other avenues of release. Deleting people from social media accounts, not doing a chore that benefits the offender, keeping conversation short and pointed are all behaviors that are technically passive-aggressive yet seem the only way to function for someone who must keep their feelings to themselves and build up walls between them and the offender.
When I get over excited or maybe just overwhelmed I turn agressive without meaning it how does this happen? Is this a sign of passive aggression? Is it something else I can't find online?
Maybe it’s bipolar disorder? Idk Edit- But I think I can relate like when I get overwhelmed with an emotion I start to get aggressive or I get lots of adrenaline.
@@L-Stout it sounds to me (only speaking from experience) that maybe processing emotion is tricky for you. Not passive aggressive. Passive aggressive is when you say one thing but mean another. Like you imply what you mean and give mixed messages to the listener. Be well 💞
sarcasm had become my outlet and i honed it far too much that i was able to sunk my friend who royally fucked up into deep depression with a few sarcastic words (yes of course i took responsibility and i'm definitely the villain here but i felt he needed a wake up call, also was prepared if he tried to take his own life as that will not happen as long as i'm alive and i'm gonna make him suffer and feel the shit he'd done and not just make him get away with it because he's tOo seNsiTiVe to be confronted) and alas, it worked. We definitely got closer afterwards and i swore to him that if he fucks up again, i'm gonna be the one to end his existence and same for him to me
I feel like certain environments almost force us to be this way sometimes. Of course it’s better to be assertive, but what if you are surrounded by emotionally unstable or overly passive types?
My coworker is passive agressive and that sucks asf, he’s always saying “bad” things to me as a “joke”. I’m not too sensitive but he really pisses me off
Due to my autism, i am unaware that im being passive aggressive until its too late. But that’s just how my genuine heart speaks when im upset and stressed. 😰😭💔
Have you met someone who is unintentionally passive-aggressive?
Aye listen I just want to tell you guys that Jesus loves you and have faith in Him. He will heal you. He healed me and delivered me from a life of purposelessness, being lost, lonely, and so much more. ❤️
No-
Ok maybe, I'll consider myself.
Yes
Me
Yes
I started feeling passive aggresive when people started teeling me "I'm being too angry for everything". With all my anger bottled up, and me being passive-aggresive, I started talking less. Because if I did, I may go a bit too far with the tone and the words. And when I do talk, I try so hard to not sound offensive, yet they never see it.
I feel you
Same here.
honestly idgaf i will stay angry forever fuck what they think
Same.they even gaslight me
Exactly
Society is so lost lately that everyone is passive-agressive nowadays. Everyone is angry, most people feel depressed, it is hard to be nice and ever harder to find someone who is kind.
It’s true
I’ve seen a shit ton more toxic people these days. My anger has also increased.
Im not nice at all the reason is i have nobody to be nice to
Ppl can’t even directly tell you that they don’t want to hang out anymore or that they won’t do what you asked them to do, and literally just flake without any explanation. I don’t get why ppl just communicate. 😒
I say what’s on my mind and get crucified for it everyday. if you can’t handle fleck stay passive aggressive
I am being gaslit by my passive-aggressive best friend. She only popped out with her true colors after covid and a heart attack! Now she is very very mean. Not a kind word, and even though i am sitting here with broken ribs from a fall, she is pissed off I did not wash her and her husb dirty dishes from this whole week. They let them sit because it is a "control" they want to have over me. When i ask her "how are you?" I get a frown and "Not so good!" Mind you I have broken bones!! And pneumonia! Fever! I am like "well I am sorry.", as I get near end of hallway I hear "Why didnt you do the dishes!" in a barely audible tone that is seething with anger. So later I pop in where she is and say "well I am gonna say goodnight. My phobe is dead so I cant text", she never looks up at me! So i say "I am for being so sick. I feel as if it angers you and not sure why". I get "Im not mad" in a monotone I-am-really-mad voice still not looking! THAT boys and girls is passive-aggressive behavior! She is angry over dishes she dirtied while I am trying to get the pain under control cos I cant eat or sleep or breathe like this. Unbelievably petty really! And she knows it and thats why she has to divert from full on saying to my face that she is angry I cant just ignore the searing pain in my side and fever I have which is quite possibly COVID(!) and wash the dishes she and hubby dirty! I mean honestly you would think broken ribs and torn cartilage would be easy to manage while doing every piece of silverware and cup saucer and bowl in the house! Right?! Lol Sorry. But I needed to get that out! Gaslighting is very painful. Merry Christmas right? Maybe I have helped someone else being tortured byva P-A loved one.
It is your responsibility as an adult to grow and strengthen yourself and to understand yourself more. It's your responsibility to develop courage and learn how to stand against people that are using you to boost their own power. This is the adult world we live in and no, it is not fair. But nobody can help you but yourself. It is a difficult and often painful process (growth) but this is your only life and should be your top priority, because the older you get without figuring these things out, the worse it can get. I spend a lot of my life being a naive people pleaser. It led me to deep depression and social anxiety, self hatred, and resentment. Absolute hell. Now I am very keen at reading people, I know how to navigate social situations and deal with manipulative/passive aggressive people to the point where they go from trying to tear me down to respecting me. It takes time but you can move forward a little bit every day. It's really important to give up any bad habits and addictions you have because they rob you of your focus and make it difficult to move forward.
I needed to hear this today. Thank you. Just a grown adult doing some real-talk.
Thank you ❤
Alternative title: Why everyone is passive agressive
Oh ok 👌
It's important to be self-aware. The question is always: what will you do with that information?
-Monica
@@Psych2go Thank you for your wisdom, oh wise Monica and Psych2Go
I definitely try to take breathers when i can. Since working at walmart. after covid. i think my people skills are REMARKABLY better than before i worked at walmart. honestly forcing myself in a positiom like talking to customers. especially. ALOT of customers. has helped me grow SO MUCH more as a person i didnt realize how much i was lacking in some ways
lmao the irony of your comment being an example of passive aggression
I'm so angry and resentful at the way I've been treated and just how unfair society is in general. Yet I'm terrified of people at the same time
i feel this way a lot
I Have Severe High Functioning Autism And I've Been In And Out Of The System Since I Was 6 Years Old Also I'm Extremely Passive And Aggressive Towards Those Whom Hurts Oppresses And Takes Advantage Of Those Whom Are Trying To Live Righteous Lifestyles. I'm Extremely Opionated So I Speak My Mind Telling People What They Need To Hear And Not What They Want To Hear.
I hope your life has improved since then but I need to tell you something. It is your responsibility as an adult to grow and strengthen yourself and to understand yourself more. It's your responsibility to develop courage and learn how to stand against people that are using you to boost their own power. This is the adult world we live in and no, it is not fair. But nobody can help you but yourself. It is a difficult and often painful process (growth) but this is your only life and should be your top priority, because the older you get without figuring these things out, the worse it can get. I spend a lot of my life being a naive people pleaser. It led me to deep depression and social anxiety, self hatred, and resentment. Absolute hell. Now I am very keen at reading people, I know how to navigate social situations and deal with manipulative/passive aggressive people to the point where they go from trying to tear me down to respecting me. It takes time but you can move forward a little bit every day. It's really important to give up any bad habits and addictions you have because they rob you of your focus and make it difficult to move forward.
At least your honest
@zackwilliams1, good advice
I always thought it to be because some people are afraid to admit to themselves and let others know that they’re upset about something.
Yeah that could be it. It's important to speak up sometimes because... how would other people know otherwise, right?
-Monica
@@Psych2go Exactly
That's one of my reason for being passive aggressive honestly, Im not good at confronting people.
Ok this is me to the letter
This fits in my case i'm not good at expressing my feelings, forget other ppl i cant even with my family members. Since i'm like this from childhood now its really hard to cut off my leash :(
Once someone was being passive aggressive to me and kept saying the same thing so I called them out(it was just us both) and they awkwardly laughed it off while changing the subject, they never done it again.
how did you call them out? And what passive-aggressive behavior specifically was that? I'm sorry, I'm still confused about PAB.
when you mentioned parents helping children to deal with their feelings it made me realize what a great thing we had in Mr. Rogers. he did just that, and much more.
My mom would always insult me whenever I wanted to talk instead of addressing it angrily, but other siblings were always allowed to throw tantrums but I would get a good scolding, it got to a point where I would get massive headaches and then tears would flow out. This video described me perfectly.
:0 same. My sister literally screamed back and forth with my mom but when I get a little passive then I’m the asshole.
@@thepillows1235 exactly, it's so mentally tiring and then I can't even talk to anyone about it properly because then it seems like I want to cause problems
@@dauntinglie Same my mom accused me of being a bad daughter for being stress when she caused it.
Omg same story! I can never understand why am i disliked so much!
@@thepillows1235 I feel you 🙁
thank you for this. i noticed that i've been being passive-aggressive whenever i express my anger without giving myself some time to process it. and uh, yeah, i think what you've delivered really helps in some ways. and i'll try to pull myself back to reality and take some time before acting.
much love, keep up the good contents
Thanks for sharing :) We hope this video helped you
Bruh, why is no one commenting that they called Jean and Diluc the parents of Klee LMAO I approve of the shipper
I'm a genshin impact fan and I was suprised as well!hahahha
Wait what where sjjsjsjsjek
Ok I found it lol
And the Monsters thingy I don't know what's its called & Primogems here are the timestamps 1:15 1:59
@@heefused2809 Pyro slime
I didn’t know passive aggressive personality disorder was a thing.
There's a disorder for everything it seems.
@@waynebruceunltd even constantly shitting appearently
It's not. It's just made up by TH-cam psychology channels for an audience. "Passive aggressive personality disorder" is not an illness recognized by professionals and doesn't exist with the latest DSM being the 5th one.
@@omoriref Then how do I deal with my aggression with all these toxic environment and influences that triggers my anger
@@pianonights50 change your surroundings and reevaluate your circle of people you may entertain.
Passive aggressive people exist in most jobs, and are really f*cking annoying. Having said that I'm sure I've been guilty of it a few times hahaha.
It's always good to recognize your own behaviours and reflect if/how you'd like to go about it. :)
-Monica
@@livelaughfnaf1987 hahahahahahahhaha i get it
I think we’re all guilty of being passive aggressive at some point but it’s when it becomes habitual that you realize that something is wrong. I was passive-aggressive in my youth and it’s not until I distanced myself from narcissistic family members that I realized that it was a reactionary survival response to the toxic home environment. I began learning healthy relationship habits and my overall emotional and psychological well-being improved greatly. Having healthy relationships especially when growing up will negate the likelihood of developing passive-aggressive behavior. My only regret is that I didn’t seek help sooner from mental health therapist coz it would have saved me years of depression and anxiety. Always remember to be kind to yourself.
Depends on the job TBH. If the job is shit and everyone knows it then yeah passive aggressive attitudes will fester.
@@livelaughfnaf1987 *why did you have to remind me of that show*
I remember that i used to be really expresive with what i felt and always make a drama about it. Then my parents told me i had to be more respectful to adults, so i started to do everything they told me to, but not in the best way i could. Thanks for the vid, i really want to improve now in that aspect.
I was pretty much a scapegoat of a family, so being passive-aggressive became my way of rebellion without openly rebel.
Now people just say I'm being petty af
Im this way because I used to act out so much on my little sister and instead of my therapists and parents telling me how to control my anger and manage through it calmly, i was instead hit, told to oppress my emotions, and yelled at for the behavior. And somehow I was the problem 😃
I’m sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. You were not the problem and I hope you know that now. I never thought about this. My siblings and I were also hit growing up or yelled at. It’s always when kids are crying or angry that they get into trouble or are told to stop. I’ve been afraid of my parents because of this and have tried to explain that it’s fear of them not respect for them that keeps me from standing up for myself. If I can’t even stand up to my parents, how am I supposed to stand up to anyone? I’m a doormat. But because my brothers were hit often and I wasn’t because I was afraid to get in trouble, my mom says I then have no reason to be scared of her because she didn’t hit me. My dad has told my sister and I that we were being disrespectful by raising our voices cause we were angry. He’s told my sister she was “being dramatic” for crying and yelling about why he’s disappointed her. My mom is passive aggressive and sticks her nose in everything, so it’s hard to argue with her. My little brother is 1 and screams a lot because he can’t talk a lot yet and his dad (we have different dads) tells him to shut up all the time. I know I’m passive aggressive and I’ve absolutely noticed it in my family members. I definitely want this to change because I don’t like it. It’s still very uncomfortable
Bruh Same but the roles are reversed. My sisters were mean to me and I think that could’ve been the reason why. Idk
@@livelaughfnaf1987 *stop*
Same thing for me
@@livelaughfnaf1987 your putting it in a whole bunch of reply sections it annoying
Some of my most disappointing moments I’ve had with myself is when I thought it was so “smart” or “sharp” to say something that quietly stabs at the parts of people that the empath in me, knows would hurt the most.
I literally search this video up because I have to deal with someone like this. And omg I can tell when they mean to be malicious and oh boy do I want to beat them up.
But you know I could only be rude to them because why does this person choose to be malicious? It's literally so frustrating because why does this person just choose to be bitchy i just can't stand passive-aggressiveness because that is literally what it is.
Nobody is doing them anything but they choose to act like some narcissist. Well I could only be rude to them and literally ignore them(like if they call my name I won't answer). And I'm not the only one they choose to act bitchy to its other people. They literally laugh at a school friend that they were malicious to(laughing at the fact that hey mad ever cry) and made that friend feel frustrated.
Like the person is literally just bullying people at this point but because it's like you can't even call it out it's also frustrating. And like I can tell they are purposely being indirectly mean and like just negative in general but choose to be fake and stuff.
I'm in tertiary institution which is why it's frustrating because it's not scl, I really don't want no bitchy person to make my studies miserable.
2. This person is like a pet to the lecturers and literally like indirectly bullying people but you can't really call it out.
3. The people that did call it out got blamed instead by the lecturers because this person is just so sneaky and mean spirited for no absolute reason.
4. Beside the friend they knew from school, they don't know us so they have no reason be acting this way and it's so frustrating.
I'm in the same position as you. Combining it with self-harm as a coping mechanism, I had to constantly surround myself with people just to make sure I won't do anything stupid at some point. I regret saying the meanest shit I could ever said in my life and the sad part about it is I didn't actually mean it. I was simply angry and filled with frustration at the time.
This is actually highly insightful. Thank you for posting this, I'll be sure to learn from this, in understanding other people and attempting to change myself to get rid of this nasty habit.
No problem :) Glad you find it helpful!
Wooow this explains so much during my childhood! Since I was 13 years old I had a feelin of anger that I was starving to express, being raised around a type of "Christian" passive aggressive parents there's no such place for anger, frustration, or any type of aggression, so a nasty Frankenstein I accidentally created is named sarcasm. Now I am solely working through the angers I held since my teen years and I have been feeling much better by practicing socializing and expression my emotions thru art and music. The most scary part is confrontation and I am willing to take that risk everyday and speak what is on my mind (I be sure to think thoroughly). This has helped me understand this behavior much more and Thank You!
Is everybody gonna ignore the sleeping bunny on the couch at 2:46 ? It’s so cute! 🥺
Lol!
@@Psych2go hii
Nice
@@Psych2go oml i m so happy, i got a heart from you!
I've told people that I have boundaries and they don't seem to care until I go...KAAABOOOOM
I was recently told that I was passive aggressive and got really defensive because I didn’t believe it, but after looking into it later I basically had an “oh shit” moment because it describes so much of my behaviors that I never noticed before 😬 I’m lowkey annoyed that I wasn’t called out on this sooner but ig that’s the affect it has huh
Being passive-agressive isn't a problem, its a skill.
😂 explain?
Its actually useful skill to get ahead in the rat race. Every man for himself.
Growing up in a emotionally toxic environment I adapted a passive aggressive attitude to deal with toxic people in my life who I unfortunately can't cut out (my parents and some of my distanced family members) and its now how I deal with my frustration or anger, not mention the fact I suffer from anxiety disorder that was developed in the early stages of my teen years when I was left alone with my mom and dad without anyone else to protect me from their toxic behaviour for a sold 6 years (till I went to college)
this! ive been thinking a lot and feeling guilty about the way i act. yes its only around toxic people and people who doesnt respect my feelings. other than that i can express my feeling freely and maturely. being around toxic people and not being able to cut them off really fucks you up. i dont act like myself. i turn into something i dont wanna be because thats the only way to stay sane around them. but from now on i want to freely express my feelings. i dont care if they wont understand, wont respect and wont care.
True. If dealing with a narcissist sometimes it's literally the only option. Sucks.
Go to acupuncture + homeopath
I have the same problem. I love my dad but he has sometimes that passive-aggressive behaviour and it penetrated into mine behaving
I can be passive aggressive only when I've been hurt and my patience has been worn thin. I came from a home where any negative emotions was not tolerated. Even I cried because I was sad, it was met with aggression from my parents. So flash forward 29 years, I have a very hard time expressing any negative emotions. I'm a sensitive person and get hurt easily but most people won't know because I hide myself away and cry or have what ever emotions. Though I feel bad being passive aggressive, I often feel like it's my only line of defense.
Fun fact: Psych2Go makes everyone's lives better
Thanks for your consistent support, it means a lot
@@Psych2go omg thanks so much for replying! This made my day thank you!
Yesss
They also go “this you?”
Another fun fact: You're right!
Im passive aggressive because the people i hate have power over me like teachers or employees i cant shout at them and call them names so i must find another way to take out my anger with denial its all ive got its the only power i have
I’m passive aggressive because my brother would always teas me, and when this would happen I would get defensive. Now a days someone could not even say something mean and I would get defensive and say something in a passive aggressive way.
No one:
Me watching to find out why I am the way I am:
That is so real
GENIUS! I WILL SAY THAT THEY ARE A USELESS BEING IN A PASSIVE AGGRESIVE TONE!
this is literally the best channel i have ever seen and solve the problems i am dealing with!!!
I am passive-aggressive because it was the only safe way to deal with my father, the only way to deal with bullies in school and get revenge on them without getting in trouble, it was shown to me to be the only appropriate way to strike back. I'm trying to get past it but it's hard.
Same I’m trying to move on from something like that but it feels like it always comes back. I’m fighting and that’s all that matters. You can do it!
As long as you don't use that as an excuse to justify your behaviour which is pretty toxic, and learn to be better from it.
I'm passive-agressive and I have been since I was a child, ironically I just discovered that some time ago.
The problem here is, I do realize this is a bad thing, not only for the people around me but for myself, since I never voice my anger, or the reason why I am upset. I'd like to be more...direct about it, but I don't know how. Not because I don't want to tho, it's more like, I am not allowed to. In my house at least, if I so much as say that I'm angry, no matter if I'm right or not, the people I live with will yell at me and say how ungrateful I am, or "What reason do you have to be angry? Pfft" and stuff like that. I'm not joking when I say that they could trow me out of the house either..so I've learned, since I was little that I had to smile and bear it. Be the "perfect girl" or else... Like this time when I was 6 years old, my cousin came to my house. She wanted to play with either dangerous objects or things that were emotionally valuable for my mom, so of course I didn't let her play with those, I suggested that we played with toys or something like that. Well, next thing I know is, my aunt starts screaming to my mom outside, calling her names, then enters the house, point a finger at me and says "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WE'LL ONLY COME HERE AGAIN WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO ACT LIKE A HUMAN BEING!" Looking at me with a disgusted face, I felt that I couldn't say anything. So I just kept silent, and she stormed away. That happened a couple of times, like when she left her daughter with me because she wanted to chat with her friends, I think I was 5 and the other kid 4, she got hurt running around and the blame was on me. One day she "apologized" tho, I'll never forget that, she came to me with the first fake smile I ever saw, and said "You're not angry with auntie right? Haha". Point is, it's ok if I act like I'm angry because no one picks up on that, but I can't voice it, or I'm just being irrational or unfair. So when I can express it, around other people, I end up being too sarcastic or "aggressive" in a very passive way. That's something I'd really like to change.
My heart hurts for you and your inner child. I've always wondered what causes people to be passive aggressive. After reading this I think: why wouldn't someone, under these conditions, be passive aggressive? It doesn't seem like it was safe to express anything, even if you were being good. Hope you can find a path to peace and can make the changes you desire.
@@deannjohnson9107 Honestly, just..thank you. That means a lot to me.
I would LOVE to know you on a more personal level.....And rather you are wrong or right, in my eyes you would be right and I would let you voice your concerns or anger. I would never side against you and I'd always support you no matter what. I would be that person you could always vent to without being judged. Your amazing and everyone should appreciate you!
@@GodisLIGHTTTt The good thing is that I did! Well, they actually did throw me out of the house because I talked back for the first time in my life, but I honestly don't regret it at all. Since that happened I finally felt free. I realized how bad the environment I was living in actually was. I'm also going to therapy now and working on myself, I'm learning so much.
Being passive aggressive doesn’t make anyone a good person. Because it destroys them and their sense of who they are.
it also destroys people’s view of them
Yea and im going to hell for that
It can be pretty good when used in art though.
And being passive aggressive doesn't make anyone a bad person, either. Therefore; interesting comment here.
I think deep inside they are very unhappy with themselves.
My passive aggressive came from people being angry all the time, but in that moment I found that I can’t change people, I have to see them for who they are and what they show me. The level of disrespect was so extreme and put way too much pressure on me but without a doubt god got me. I’m happier now knowing that niceness is a weakness and kindness is a gift and I won’t change to fit in. Moral of the story is I’ve learnt to handle people and situations how they present themselves to me.
As an often described by my friends as passive aggressive I just see as a way to make ppl not be aggressive and just stand there cus I am AFRAID of raised voices
A friend's mom taught her passive-aggression is safer cause her father would demand or order the mom to do something. If she said no or I don't have time, he'd rage - throw plates, slam doors even punched a hole in the wall. So she always said ok whatever you want honey and then would forget to do it, clothes accidentally got burned when ironing, a red sock accidentally got in the white laundry cause he had a fit about wanting his white tshirts and socks whiter. He wore pink instead of less white for weeks and she smirked about it. Complained dinner wasn't on the table when he came home and not only did she accidentally burn it but set the curtains on fire too. It was revenge on her part.
I truly detest passive aggressive people. Passive aggressive people are not interested in finding solutions to their problems. I also realise that they don't appreciate me being honest about my feelings, cuz to them, the right thing to do is to bottle it so that you won't be a burden to everyone around you. Yesterday, I just called everyone out for not being communicative of their expectations and being petty. Everyone has a problem with everyone else, but no one is interested in solving it.
Stay around long enough and you will find they just vent about their problems and never strategize together to make any real change
In group dynamics, passive aggression usually arises from those with less power feeling very limited agency and psychological safety to resolve conflict openly. In my experience, passive aggression is almost always reactive and often weighed internally against more transparent/explicit approaches. Some communities/organizations are not worth the effort to change. Trust, if a group is large enough or has been around for a while, that you’re probably not the first person who has tried to fight tooth and nail for systemic change and improved psychological safety. If everyone has a problem with everyone else, it’s probably been that way for some time. A lot of people can burn out and choose to leave or find an insulated niche within the group that’s just tolerable enough not to leave altogether. I think it’s more realizable to find your allies within the group and if you can’t, ask yourself if this is a sustainable relationship for you at this point in your life.
Why do so many people view passive-aggression as socially acceptable?
It's highly manipulative, controlling, cowardly, & spiteful - and the epitome of 'control from the bottom'.
It's also done to ensure the aggressor cannot be rejected by the target, yet can fully reject / devalue / shame the target anyway.
Ultimately, it's a foolproof way of the aggressor avoiding responsbility for failing to set or maintain appropriate boundaries for themselves, or for refusing to enforce them.
Instead, projecting the blame onto the target via passive aggression enables them to escape their own culpability, fraudulently claiming the 'moral high ground' in the process.
If you're SO resentful about a thing.... either grow up & deal with it, or have the courage to say something.
- Stop expecting everyone to read your mind, it's not fair & it certainly won't make others like you.
Nobody likes a bully.
Such a great question and such an incredible video. Also, I am a very long time subscriber to this fantastic channel.
LPD - Lazy Personality Disorder, which I see is really Passive- Aggressive. I don't think I would have connected those two. Great video.
Why are Some Ppl "Passive Aggressive?"
1. They have "Passive Aggressive Personality" disorder.
2. It's easier than being assertive.
3. They desire revenge.
4. Anger is not viewed as "Socially Normal."
5. Hostility w/ a smile is less often called out.
6. They developed the behavior in childhood.
*_You're Welcome in advance._*
One of my friends is passive aggressive, and uses insults in a "joking" way.
I know 2. and 4. apply to me, sometimes 3. and possibly even 6.
Psych2go:are you subscribed?
Me needing to know answers: *Y E S*
Tysm for the heart!❤️
They did not just entice me with that primogem.....
This is the video I actually needed. If you don’t learn to express anger in a healthy way it will drive you crazy. Thank you psych2go❤
3:09 lolol thats an amazing ace attorney reference right there
and as always, psych2go teaching us new things!
I have a feeling I'm probably passive aggressive. If I am passive aggressive, it's because I'm trying to control my temper and not be overwhelmingly actively aggressive (think medieval)
I just realized I’m starting to become passive aggressive towards my little sister, I came here for something completely different but now I’ll probably watch myself more when I interact with her :/
Damn, the channel has been growing like crazy. Amazing, great job as always.
My mom would always call me passive aggressive however never took the time to truly help me manage my frustration or anything to help it. This term was thrown around only when a disagreement came about and I spoke or decided I didn’t want to debate about my own feelings ( often times I would be told I’m wrong for feeling this way or that way) long story short I don’t think I’m truly passive aggressive I think I used some passive skills to keep me protected because I’m definitely no good at getting away with underline aggressive behavior... it actually is the thing I despise or because I can see right throw it.
Can’t be a True New Yorker without being passive aggressive 😂
Growing up emotionally restrained is basically a one way-ticket to this kind of behaviour.
That + a couple more internal and personal issues.
As long as you don't use that as an excuse to justify your behaviour which is pretty toxic, and learn to be better from it.
Exactly.
It may be a struggle for some people who has dealt with this issue for far longer, but a slow process/progress of trying to become better, and come into terms with it, is better than no progress at all.
"Maybe it's your favourite antagonist seeking revenge"
Me: *Bill Cipher*
I'm passive aggressive towards a lot of things, the thing is, self improvement is a day-by-day challenge
Passive aggressive is used so much now because people are now being restraint from saying what they want because the society has put so many restrictions on what you should say what you shouldn't even against some wrong behavior so people become passive aggressive because they don't want to be ridiculed or termed as some ist phobe or insecure and fragile
4:41 Omg i can’t, they really made Jean and Diluc as Klee’s parents 😭😭
"How many Genshin Impact references do you want?"
Artist: *Yes*
- 1:14 = the pyro slime and primogem
- 1:56 = the dendro slime
- 4:40 = jean, diluc and klee
- 4:55 = klee fish blasting
- 6:02 = the like button is bennett's burst
It's all so cute and I love ittt
omgg
I even express my anger through smile and people think I am so calm and patience but it's not the truth 😂
I can be passive aggressive at times, but I usually save it for those who have driven me up the wall, to put it lightly.
That's perfectly normal for someone as mediocre as you.
*HAHA just joking bro*
@@BLOXKAFELLARECORDS I try not to be mediocre myself, but I find myself amongst many dipshits.
@@ZachDrake5960 only joking my friend 😉
Why are some people passive aggressive?
Me: because they joined a lot of debate competition? 🤔🤔
Usually it's picked up by the people they are surrounded by/how those people behave. What do you think?
-Monica
See I thought everyone was stupid but me because when I was a child the adults didn’t help me. Today I stand up and do the work🎉
I had a passive-aggressive "friend".. it just hurts when they seemed like holding a grudge to you secretly and wouldn't even try to understand when I'm trying to justify. I did try to understand them and I thought maybe, just maybe the root cause of that trait was their experiences. I tried listening to them when they're going through something but it felt like they can't do the same and their passive-aggression and being unapologetic ruined our friendship
your videos are so interesting and helpful. They help me be more self aware and also help me understand other people who have these conditions and how i can help.
So well said! Totally true that being passive aggressive is way easier than being assertive and honest!
When you are in an environment that punishes you for being direct and honest. When there is no health route available for discussion to settle disagreements there is no choice but to be passive aggressive.
If I were passive aggressive to my mother I would be short of one head or an eye
Yep. I was taught that expressing anger is not good and to avoid confrontation.
I know, me too…but that’s so problematic 😭💯
Passive aggressive people seem to want to piss others of without being vulgar or rude at the first side. So they be like: "well I guess you realized your point and flipped it because anger is all you're presenting but that was your initial Point right? I know your anger has nothing to do with me. So yet again I'm going to follow doctor C's advice. And just let you deal with your own anger because it has absolutely nothing to do with me.
And if you think I'm wrong here's dr. C to tell you that I'm not. I know you won't watch the video because you are going to refuse any logic that would contradict your own strong internal core belief." And if you can´t talk with them as if it´s a normal conversation you should check your mental health.
Nice job, when people need clarity it's a primary objective to simplify things.
What is interesting to me is the use of lack of effort as passive aggression when I actually picked up that bad habit because of someone who is passive aggressive. Basically in an attempt to get someone to stop being that way with me I started doing things they didn't like right afterwards to get them to stop their passive aggression, does that mean that when exposed to that kind of person I became like them? They say that is what happens to narcissists, they were likely abused by a narcissist and adopted the personality style to cope with it, could passive aggression be the same? Especially because it is something used by narcissists frequently?
This happened to me too. I def picked up on major fleas from this person. I wasn’t passive aggressive at all before; instead I often got told I was very pleasant to be around (leaving out issues caused by depression and anxiety).
In dealing with narcissists, passive aggression may be the only option. But always best to try to nix any tit for tat merry go round to nowhere. It can decimate relationships.
Because it is difficult for me to express my emotions, i often end up being alone and that hurts me a lot. That’s why I think I should please people and hell them with a smile to feel somehow normal and expect a return of acceptance in society, but when it does not, I feel triggered a lot that why did i put so much effort to make others feel so special, that why did they accept my effort to make themselves feel special if all they had to leave me one day making me feel that it was just a phase. This angers and eventually I burst into aggression and ruin the relationships. I lost one person who was so dear to me that I thought finally I found the love of my life, but because of this behaviour, i lost him forever.
“why SOME PEOPLE are passive aggressive 🙄”
ok and?
@@nikki4596 I dunno if you got it, but that's supposed to be a joke, that they're saying it passive aggressively
@@jans.g6033 Oh thanks ☺️
It depends on the severity of what someone has it as. Those who do it lots of the time are very toxic people.
Everybody gangsta till someone says:
"I'm not gonna say names"
Good video btw.
If you are passive aggressive can you change or is it something like anxiety where you have to learn to cope with it?
I think that it’s something you can learn to change. Like trying to communicate your feelings better instead of hiding it
Yes you can change by learning to express your feelings better :)
Neither passive aggressiveness nor anxiety are permanent. They are based on your decisions on how you handle them. I've had anxiety and I know others who have had it that don't have it anymore. We have security in our lives and therefore no fear. Please, I encourage you to not believe that anxiety is something you most cope with. I believed that lie too and it kept me in a place of fear. Then I learned the truth and I gave no power to anxiety but to the one who does have power- God. We are set free from these things because God has set us free. Live your life free of anxiety.
And innocent normal people have to cope with you because you don't try to heal.
I didn't know i was passive aggressive untill my ex boyfriend and best friend pointed it out and now im trying to get better
I get triggered easily and instead of getting upset about every thing, I try to shrug things off. However I fear it is interpreted as passive aggressive behavior. Its about knowing how to pick your battles--not everything needs to be a fight. I don't need to love everything my boss or colleagues do...
@ 2:32 was a huge eye opener for me!
Love the Genshin Impact shipping/fanfic with Jean x Diluc and Klee. The artist is amazing and video was great
Been waiting for someone to say this lmao.
Now I realise, that I have been behaving this way with my small brother during a long time. After number 4, I understood, that in childhood, my parents and the others relatives always told me not to be angry at him, even whet I had real reasons, and I am pretty empathetic, so I often bottle up my bad emotions, because I'm afraid to hurt the others. And now, I've become passive-aggressive towards my brother. I can't control this, like I am annoyed of him even when he just says "Hi". And I think and fear, that he can feel my aggression. I'm really ashamed of that, and I hate myself sometimes for being like that. But before I've watched this video, I hadn't been knowing what am I feeling. Probably now it will be easier for me to control this. Once again, thank you
wow, now I really want to cry, because I feel so sorry for my little brother... yeah, he may be rude and mean to me, but he's like 9 years old... And he didn't deserve such a behaviour as mine:(
Hey beautiful, yes you 🤗
You are worthy
You are special
You are loved
You are the best
You are my dear friend 🙃
Have a happy day
You too! Glad to be your friend 😊
Thank you so much! You made my day better ☺️
@@nakshatramusic21 🙌 Thank You 😇 for being my friend
@@mini4940 Welcome
😇
I am very very happy that I was able to make you day better 🙌
I use anger to mask my hurt.
wow so that's why I'm passive aggressive is because I can't show anger to my little sister when she loses my stuff.
Im passive agressive bc i wasnt allowed to express myself at my dads growing up. He didnt want anything that would take away from the better parent title. Hed act surprised when i didnt want to be around and be with my mom.
My issues with Passive Aggressiveness came from a father who would not allow me to express my anger or frustration when he would put me in no-win situations. I was not able to say, "No," not able to express myself about how I was feeling and couldn't stand up for myself against his rage. It was a very nasty situation where the only option I felt I had was to slip into Passive Aggressive behavior. It's awful to be constantly trapped in no-win situations and did not make my relationship with him a good one. He was a bully.
Yes my dad too
Thank you for this wonderful easy to understand vdo. I can implement further in myself.
Hey there :]
I am a long-time fan of this series and it has helped me a ton! Now that Im hearing more about passive aggression it reminded me alot of my younger sister. She is always salty about something or someone and noone can do anything about it! This can mess from my daily mood- to bigger things such as my work in school and relationships. I really have no idea what to do and our parents just kinda let it slide. I really have nowhere else to ask this but: what do I do to ar least have some kind of communication whit my stubborn sister?
I am so passive aggressive.
I can't express myself. From young age I wasn't allowed to. If I was angry it was wrong and unaccepted. If I was excited my mom said I don't have manners. I should behave. Now I can not express any negative or positive emotions. I only smile shyly. Even when people have done me wrong, they never know how I feel about it cus I smile anyway.
I went to bed every night singing to myself "emotions are lies, emotions are not valid" because I never felt emotionally safe. Right now, I often feel aloof. Even if I try to express, I don't know where to start. So the only thing to do is to smile at everything.
Very unfortunate, I too, have some issues to work out with my emotions. I feel empty to them.
Hi Psych2Go team! I love your videos, they're so inspirational! I like watching them with my mom
That's great you watch together with your parents! Hope they are learning about these topics too!
@@Psych2go :)
I think i am passive because i was trained to be. It was easier than being angry when others didn't respect my feelings (aka mom bringing up things 30 years after i told her to stop bring up one bleeping issue that always caused me pain...). Aggressiveness makes me hide and avoid the world... interesting thought huh?
I think passive-aggressive behaviors can arise in situations where the person who is upset does not feel they are in a safe place to talk about it. Those in a relationship with someone who doesn't exactly promote free speech may turn to other avenues of release. Deleting people from social media accounts, not doing a chore that benefits the offender, keeping conversation short and pointed are all behaviors that are technically passive-aggressive yet seem the only way to function for someone who must keep their feelings to themselves and build up walls between them and the offender.
I'm having trouble to control this mood..
When I get over excited or maybe just overwhelmed I turn agressive without meaning it how does this happen? Is this a sign of passive aggression? Is it something else I can't find online?
Maybe it’s bipolar disorder? Idk
Edit-
But I think I can relate like when I get overwhelmed with an emotion I start to get aggressive or I get lots of adrenaline.
Are you happy when you feel aggressive?
@@picklep9812 I don't even realize I'm doing it until I'm done and I'm happy while it .,.
@@L-Stout it sounds to me (only speaking from experience) that maybe processing emotion is tricky for you. Not passive aggressive. Passive aggressive is when you say one thing but mean another. Like you imply what you mean and give mixed messages to the listener.
Be well 💞
sarcasm had become my outlet and i honed it far too much that i was able to sunk my friend who royally fucked up into deep depression with a few sarcastic words (yes of course i took responsibility and i'm definitely the villain here but i felt he needed a wake up call, also was prepared if he tried to take his own life as that will not happen as long as i'm alive and i'm gonna make him suffer and feel the shit he'd done and not just make him get away with it because he's tOo seNsiTiVe to be confronted) and alas, it worked. We definitely got closer afterwards and i swore to him that if he fucks up again, i'm gonna be the one to end his existence and same for him to me
Is it passive-aggressive if when you talk to someone aggressively even if you aren't angry at them ? Cause I do this like every time...
It's actually when you try to hide your angerness but leave tiny hints of it.
@@kevingallagher9129 oh okey thx :D
I’m passive aggressive and I’m subscribed, but I should get a real therapist for other things too, but this was very helpful(0:00-00:18)
I feel like certain environments almost force us to be this way sometimes. Of course it’s better to be assertive, but what if you are surrounded by emotionally unstable or overly passive types?
Definitely agree. It feels like you have to balance out everyone around you's emotions, even of they aren't your own
My coworker is passive agressive and that sucks asf, he’s always saying “bad” things to me as a “joke”. I’m not too sensitive but he really pisses me off
Most of these apply to me and I will admit, I an passive aggressive
Due to my autism, i am unaware that im being passive aggressive until its too late. But that’s just how my genuine heart speaks when im upset and stressed. 😰😭💔