My stepdad was HEAVEN SENT! He was a friend to my brother and I and always fair, he brought fun to our home, and loved us and brought stability to our family ...that was way back in the 70s ...He is in heaven now, but gosh I miss him so much, his kindness and patience made my childhood so HAPPY .......Stepfathers shouldn't try and take over as boss, but just love those kids, thats your job and everything will turn out GREAT!
Unless the child was adopted before age 2-3 years of age it’s definitely an extremely difficult task. But clearly, if you’re committed and willing to take on all the drama and complexity that comes with it, more power to you. God bless everyone who’s going through this. Prayers for your hearts. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I really like how you explain how these step kids are feeling, it make sense. But unfortunately, I am a step mom, I raised him when he was 1 years old. But it is hard for us step mothers to help them when they're biological mother is teaching them to hate the step moms. Regardless what we do as step parents, they grow up either good or bad. All I know is that my step son loves me he just don't know how to express it sometimes, because I am looking out for his best interest. He calls me when his sick even though his at his mothers house, he calls when he needs help with school. All I can say to the step mothers out there is" Regardless the situation is, just show love to your step kids". They might not show appreciation for you, but you feel that they wish for there mom to be like you. I feel that with my step son who is 13 years old now. There's baby mama drama, but i put a end to it, by showing my step son that I am only there for him, regardless what anybody say about me, and I show it.
I've been a step mom to 4 kids for almost 40 years. Just two days my step daughter, 53, finally told me how much she and her brother how much they blame and resent me for family problems that I had no clue I "caused." It's a thankless job.
That is thankless and resonates with me completely. Wow, 40 years and to be given that response..that is cold. I don't expect anything different from my stepson in 20 years either. He has a Narcissistic mother that completely brainwashed him and his father is weak. Co-dependent on her despite divorce.
Being a "step" mother is the worst and most thankless job on earth, let's face it! Don't put yourself in the position. You will regret it. This is reality.
Joc W ..I just felt led to say that you did a great job, even though it doesn't feel like it. You survived ten years. As long as your relationship with your husband is good, you did great. It isn't your fault. Your kindness, respect and love for their dad is enough. It is what it is. God will repay those Graces you gave with no thanks. He sees, and it's all okay. There are some things only God can fix. Many blessings!
My Step Parent was the only rock in my life. My bio parents were horrible. I cherish my Step Parent. There is no amount of love that is too much to share with a child.
my boyfriends ex was newly pregnant when they split up (not married). I came into the picture before SS was even born. I find it hard to find advise for step parents who have been in the childs life for literally their ENTIRE life
Niamh Lawson this is my same exact story, too! I feel the same way when finding guidance in step parenting, especially with a narcissistic and high conflict birth mother.
And that's the biggest problem in our societie you cannot say your boyfriend comes 1st if your children were 1st you can't put strangers above your children
I'm going through some very hard time right now I am Stepmom of 3 Young teenagers their ages are 19,17 & 12./ @ the time that we got together therer were 8,13 &15 at that time everything when okay not bad not fantastic but just okay getting to know each other and understanding our needs and understanding that we are two different families and and that this journey was not going to be easy and we all needed to put a little bit of our part to make it work... well it's been 4 years now I did accomplish quite a lot they do respect me the little one calls me Mom the other two youngins they started calling me Mom 2 I guess I did earn their love for me but now the oldest we've been having some problems and it's just driving me crazy
I married a man knowing that he has three children two girls and one boy age 16+, 12+ & son 11+ respectively, where as I don't have any children from my first marriage. I was a divorcee and he lost his wife. I am facing challenges for last one year to handle the children as they are too independent and my husband is too possessive about his children. His elder daughter doesn't like to be corrected by either of us. When her father corrects she don't have her choice to say her opinion as her father is decorator and don't like to hear no from anyone. So she is quite and agrees to his way and when I try to say something she retaliates raises her voice and say I don't know anything. My husband fights with me, taunts me that I'm barren though he knew before marring him that I'm barren He used to fight and beat his first wife too. I love my husband and his children. But I didn't know that I will be treated this way by my husband.... Children are too smart and they go a step ahead of us.
I dont like step mom title. I prefer my name. When my dad past away i was 7 my sister was 5. And my mom staryed dating her friend from church 6 month later. I would treat kids the way i would have like to be treated then. I wouldnt like anybody manypulating anything not titles and not force them. Just a very organic slow friendship.
And this is why child abuse is so high one out of 4 kids are now being sexually abused I mean 1 out of 4 girls! Having a stepfather in the house increases a girl's chances of child molestation and abuse by 33% and some stats show 40% and this is based on just Canadian statistics even by CAS and many therapists even doctor Phil has said so! I was a step kid that was abused, mom was blind by love, got pregnant a couple of times now she was stuck. Bio siblings against half siblings etc it was a home of tension and stress. Stepfather was jealous of any kind of relationship bio kid had.
She can only speak on her story. Depending on the situation it is different for everyone. My kids definitely think of me as bonus mom. This is just not my story at all... I can't relate to her way of thinking. She was keeping her step kids away not jesus. Ahhhh...her daddy😅
My stepdad was HEAVEN SENT! He was a friend to my brother and I and always fair, he brought fun to our home, and
loved us and brought stability to our family ...that was way back in the 70s ...He is in heaven now, but gosh I miss him so much,
his kindness and patience made my childhood so HAPPY .......Stepfathers shouldn't try and take over as boss, but just love those kids, thats your job and everything will turn out GREAT!
Unless the child was adopted before age 2-3 years of age it’s definitely an extremely difficult task. But clearly, if you’re committed and willing to take on all the drama and complexity that comes with it, more power to you. God bless everyone who’s going through this. Prayers for your hearts. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I really like how you explain how these step kids are feeling, it make sense. But unfortunately, I am a step mom, I raised him when he was 1 years old. But it is hard for us step mothers to help them when they're biological mother is teaching them to hate the step moms. Regardless what we do as step parents, they grow up either good or bad. All I know is that my step son loves me he just don't know how to express it sometimes, because I am looking out for his best interest. He calls me when his sick even though his at his mothers house, he calls when he needs help with school. All I can say to the step mothers out there is" Regardless the situation is, just show love to your step kids". They might not show appreciation for you, but you feel that they wish for there mom to be like you. I feel that with my step son who is 13 years old now. There's baby mama drama, but i put a end to it, by showing my step son that I am only there for him, regardless what anybody say about me, and I show it.
Thank you for this reminder, I wish we can talk and share a little more
U live in cloud coucou land.
Leave someone else's alone
He's not your child. Very simple
You will never be his mother
Step mothers are evil
@@mossaaitmassoud6595 I guess you are an evil step child or the evil ex,you must be from a broken family.
I've been a step mom to 4 kids for almost 40 years. Just two days my step daughter, 53, finally told me how much she and her brother how much they blame and resent me for family problems that I had no clue I "caused." It's a thankless job.
That is thankless and resonates with me completely. Wow, 40 years and to be given that response..that is cold. I don't expect anything different from my stepson in 20 years either. He has a Narcissistic mother that completely brainwashed him and his father is weak. Co-dependent on her despite divorce.
I have a step daughter she is 10 right now been in her life since 3 years old her mom is the same way
Very good video for ppl who are thinking about marrying someone with young children!
Being a "step" mother is the worst and most thankless job on earth, let's face it! Don't put yourself in the position. You will regret it. This is reality.
Buford C. Love my step child as my own.
True
True ..most stepmothers are Gold Diggers.
Don’t put lots of effort into the stepchild to much headache
@@MarthaLoustaunau789 gold digger!
This is good. 10 years as a stepmom to young men who are now 19 and 26, and I sure thought it would be easier by now.
Joc W ..I just felt led to say that you did a great job, even though it doesn't feel like it. You survived ten years. As long as your relationship with your husband is good, you did great. It isn't your fault. Your kindness, respect and love for their dad is enough. It is what it is. God will repay those Graces you gave with no thanks. He sees, and it's all okay. There are some things only God can fix. Many blessings!
Me too, it just gets harder. Now they are in their 20s with no plans to ever move out. I hate my life.
@@lmilko36 I’m right there with you. Maybe you could live alone, but married..
I’m a step mom to 4 kids and I’m only 24. It can be very hard lol I think I’m going to purchase the book
you are so strong
I’m 28, and I am a stepmom to 2 teenagers so so so so hard! You are not alone my dear we are strong
I’m a step mom of one and have 5 of my own thank you lady’s being a step mom is very important my 3 kids love there step mom so much she’s an angel
My Step Parent was the only rock in my life. My bio parents were horrible. I cherish my Step Parent. There is no amount of love that is too much to share with a child.
What a beautiful prayer at the end
Interesting perspective about step family born from grief and “bonus family”title.
This video was an eye opener for me
there doesn't need to have been a death or a birth - people who have children are not always married...
my boyfriends ex was newly pregnant when they split up (not married). I came into the picture before SS was even born. I find it hard to find advise for step parents who have been in the childs life for literally their ENTIRE life
Niamh Lawson this is my same exact story, too! I feel the same way when finding guidance in step parenting, especially with a narcissistic and high conflict birth mother.
And that's the biggest problem in our societie you cannot say your boyfriend comes 1st if your children were 1st you can't put strangers above your children
Only the child or children who grow up in these situations get it. She was a kid who grew up with a Stepparent
IamJontelNichol you got that right!
IamJontelNicol I am a Stepmom who had a Stepmom so I totally understand life from the Stepmom perspective and the Stepchild’s perspective.
I'm going through some very hard time right now I am Stepmom of 3 Young teenagers their ages are 19,17 & 12./ @ the time that we got together therer were 8,13 &15 at that time everything when okay not bad not fantastic but just okay getting to know each other and understanding our needs and understanding that we are two different families and and that this journey was not going to be easy and we all needed to put a little bit of our part to make it work... well it's been 4 years now I did accomplish quite a lot they do respect me the little one calls me Mom the other two youngins they started calling me Mom 2 I guess I did earn their love for me but now the oldest we've been having some problems and it's just driving me crazy
Camelia Franco I am praying for you.
What kind of problems are you having with the oldest one ?
I do think they love you taking they respect you and look at you as a motherly figure
Teenagers are hard no matter if they are step children or natural children!
Well, you're lucky, my step-son won't call me mom 😄
Is it the same with adult kids?
Amen🙏
I married a man knowing that he has three children two girls and one boy age 16+, 12+ & son 11+ respectively, where as I don't have any children from my first marriage. I was a divorcee and he lost his wife. I am facing challenges for last one year to handle the children as they are too independent and my husband is too possessive about his children. His elder daughter doesn't like to be corrected by either of us. When her father corrects she don't have her choice to say her opinion as her father is decorator and don't like to hear no from anyone. So she is quite and agrees to his way and when I try to say something she retaliates raises her voice and say I don't know anything.
My husband fights with me, taunts me that I'm barren though he knew before marring him that I'm barren
He used to fight and beat his first wife too. I love my husband and his children. But I didn't know that I will be treated this way by my husband.... Children are too smart and they go a step ahead of us.
Get out Priscilla. You deserve so much better.
❤❤❤❤❤
I dont like step mom title. I prefer my name. When my dad past away i was 7 my sister was 5. And my mom staryed dating her friend from church 6 month later. I would treat kids the way i would have like to be treated then. I wouldnt like anybody manypulating anything not titles and not force them. Just a very organic slow friendship.
And this is why child abuse is so high one out of 4 kids are now being sexually abused I mean 1 out of 4 girls! Having a stepfather in the house increases a girl's chances of child molestation and abuse by 33% and some stats show 40% and this is based on just Canadian statistics even by CAS and many therapists even doctor Phil has said so! I was a step kid that was abused, mom was blind by love, got pregnant a couple of times now she was stuck. Bio siblings against half siblings etc it was a home of tension and stress. Stepfather was jealous of any kind of relationship bio kid had.
She can only speak on her story. Depending on the situation it is different for everyone. My kids definitely think of me as bonus mom. This is just not my story at all... I can't relate to her way of thinking. She was keeping her step kids away not jesus. Ahhhh...her daddy😅