Me too. I have not been able to leave my house more than 2 times a week for the last 2 years...When I first burnout I couldn’t leave my house for 8 months. I keep trying to claw my way out of it and I keep getting worse. I bottomed out of the career I was building too. I used to be so NT passing and now it’s like the mask is made of molten lead...heavy and painful. Everyone keeps telling me that I seem to be getting worse and I know but I don’t know how to fix this. I am sorry you can’t find support either...
I am too. I'm completely stuck and unable to do ANYTHING right now. Yeah. It's because almost no one cares about us. We never mattered to most of society. We never will. Thank God for the few people that want to help us!
Same. At work, I am irritated beyond measure by so much as paper rattling, chit chat that happens 30 feet away from me in normal indoor voice level sounds like shouts to me. I hear every pin drop in the room and I cringe and wince when I hear it. Autistic Burnout is hell. Other people are hell.
I'm in the same boat here in New Zealand. I have 4 social workers but no physical help, respite, peer support or specialists versed in Autism, I have had to educate my team. I say things clearly, state needs and I am not heard or understood.
I characterise it as autistic regression 100%. It's awful. I could function quite well, personally and professionally and now I struggle with real basics. I can have conversations but the second it becomes a debate or disagreement, it is physically painful and I have to escape.
I am exactly the same, I’ve completely lost the ability to communicate like I used to. It’s so paralysing and exhausting. I used to love debating interesting topics, I have the knowledge but my body won’t let me continue, I feel my voice getting stuck, becoming mute and needing to flee the scene. It sucks because debating topics of interest were always one of my favourite things to do 😞
Burnout is the most hellish experiences of my life. I've been through it 5 times in my life. The 5th has been the last 10 days. My first time as an adult ended with me in the hospital from an attempted suicide. The second was another, much less severe attempt. I decided suicide was virtually impossible for me at that point and ultimately not even what I wanted. This time, there has not been and will be no attempt. If this stupid lonely dark abbyss of utmost despair and sensory hell is going to kill me, it won't be by my choice. There desperately needs to be public services for adults with autism. We need access to housing that actually accommodates our sensory sensitivities (ie neighbor noise). We need a safe and comfortable place to stay when home is just too much. We need active, on demand, and sometimes 24/7 support just to not feel like we have to go through this alone. We need support for family members who burn out trying to emotionally support a loved one going through autistic burnout. We need hope. Thank you for doing this research and for being an advocate.
I can relate so much to your comment and I agree there is a desperate need for more support/accomadations for us. I have had two major burnouts in my life which have severley impacted my day to day life. The first one knocked me out of work for 5 years when I was 20. The second one at 34, 4 years before I got diagnosed had had a more permanent effect on my working life. It's difficult with family and I have set boundaries and had to limit contact. I do have some outside support thankfully, one to one but I have radically changed how I live my life. Quiet now and no drama from other people. I too have survived suicide attempts but I just haven't got the will. I am also glad this kind of research is being done.
I am 40. Now self diagnosed. I experienced the worst burnout from 2020-2022. Now I get burntout very easily but I am working through it better now that I realise I am Autistic. This video was of great help and has given me even more to work with in terms of finding solutions for myself. I will also share them on my YT page. I am sharing my experience with others to hopefully help and who know it may even help me as well. Thank you two for making this video and all other parties involved. Also thanks for sharing the chart of ways that can lead to Autistic burnout. It has already started helping me think of ways to combat this issue with a solution based frame of thinking. This video is much appreciated
Getting diagnosed as autistic helped relieve so much anxiety for me as I often mis- diagnosed my autistic burn out as dementia or brain damage. Living with a lumpy skill and energy set is very hard in a 9-5, Monday-Friday works world. I'm still getting lots of over-stimulated days but less burn out now I know. I'm grateful for this research.
I thought I had character defects until I realized about the autism. At first it was a relief to understand that the problem is my brain, not my character. But then I realized that I am hopelessly brain damaged....Now I actually wish it was character defect after all. One could improve one's character but can only accommodate such a brain defect.
You do not have a brain defect and are not brain damaged. Far from it. Please watch our TED talk to learn more and understand this better - th-cam.com/video/S8Nb2FDmQo4/w-d-xo.html
I’ve been stammering for the last two weeks from additional unrelenting stress during autistic burnout. If I could get others to throw expectations for me out the window, I would feel so much better. I can do nothing but survive right now.
I was diagnosed autistic as an adult, after having children, both on the spectrum, and one with high support needs. Seeing them as my #1 priority/responsibility, in a black and white way I’ve been unaware of how to do self-care when children are, by definition, always needing the care of their parents. (I don’t have a social group for various reasons, at this point, and don’t have one to rely on for help.) Its been years of burn out now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover the skills I’ve lost. Now I’m just too tired to even try. The kids are almost 18, and I hope that will open up some support options for them, because I’ve become pretty useless, other than basic cleaning/feeding/administrative stuff. I’m becoming less capable at the same time as their needs increase. Life is really hard. My Dx came w/depression, anxiety, ADHD and PTSD dxs also. Take care of your brains, and make sure you have enough support before creating people who will rely on you, because you’ll never be able to do “parenting” properly without it. The kids will suffer, and living in a world not made for people who have autistic wiring is further complicated by witnessing your kids’ struggles/pain, because you cannot adequately meet their needs or help them access people who can.
I keep feeling like my 17 year old daughter has this . We’ve had her checked for autism and they said she doesn’t have it but I think it’s possible she’s been misdiagnosed. We’re planning on getting another physician to test her for a second opinion. She’s been a school refuser and had severe anxiety and depression since she was 13 . She’s been in counseling and on meds and nothing is working . I also see TH-cam videos by other autistic teens who share their struggles and some of them sound just like my daughters struggles . After having a bout of slight mutism ( she gets quiet like she can’t talk but it doesn’t last very long ) and anxiety and feeling “ off” , as she puts it , the other night after a day of doctors appointments I started searching again for clues . I came across autistic burn out where one girl was saying she’ll feel hungry but when she’s in burnout mode she opens the fridge and cabinets and gets overwhelmed by all the choices and can’t make herself get something to eat . I have seen my daughter do this on numerous occasions. I’ve seen her not be able to make herself do even the simplest of tasks and she doesn’t know why . This is just one thing I’ve seen . I think she’s been masking all her life and when we moved and she entered middle school she had reached burn out and started having panic attacks at the thought of going to school .
Take her out of school. Who cares about school. This "do all the normal things!" Attitude of NT people is actually the problem itself. Give her space and let her pursue her passion
I wish we had an international autism community were we can share our enthusiasms and work with similar people to achieve great results. Actually in real life we are surrounded with nero typical persons and can't get ahead with our lack of social circle.
There are a few distributed autistic communities internationally. It's so much easier with ND friends. Occasionally we'll try to meet up in person, but supporting each other virtually is still good. Sometimes asking a contact on socials if they want to catch up for 15 mins on zoom is all you need to get started.
This is great! I’ve had burnout since I was young. Most of it started after I went through puberty. My first experience with it I remember being in 6th grade (12 years old). Every since then I have had like a spectrum of burnouts every year. Most of it has to do with expectations and workload and hormones. I hate it so much. It’s taken a huge toll on my body and health for sure.
If only I knew sooner any sooner all this time I was trying to heal everyone around me thinking and believing others when they told me and used me and gaslit me and said it’s all In my head or bitch up or deal with it, I do… but I never looked into narsasism or ASD ever otherwise I def would’ve or could’ve been in better place, I’m scared, sick, alone, worried, anxious, and little energy, I talk all the time ANYWYS and I don’t kno what or how to get help I ask others and it never gets me anywhere….I watched ur stuff tho soooo long I love how u talk and ur knowledge ur so kind and ur voice is calming!! Been watching ur videos for some time now
I found earplugs to be a great help in cutting down on sensory input.. they brought more peace to my experiences in public etc. In reference to one of the people Dora was talking about, 'after I quit my job.... (things went downhill)'. That was the mistake, quitting the job. The job created a foundation for so much of the rest of the things the person on the spectrum had to do, and could do.. It might be hard to keep the job going at times, but one should always stay in a job.. Being out of a job puts a greater emotional strain on people whether they're on the spectrum or not.
@@jonbowzy511 I do too, and I am more aware of it's sound with the headphones on, but that's somehow preferable to the noise for me, and over time tinnitus seems to be improving, or at least it comes and goes more.
@@fredflintstone8048 I agree I live in an apartment with no soundproof it's a nightmare you can hear neighbours its like their living with u.. it really causes me distress but I'm unable to afford a house. living in an apartment also means theirs a lot of neighbours and some are criminals and cause problems seems I am trapped in hell I often wake up and think to myself why the hell I carry on if everyday is this miserable.
@@jonbowzy511 Hello Jon, don't know if you will read this since it's so long long ago. But my heart goes out to you, I also suffer greatly from certain noises and in certain living conditions it often feels like there's no escape. I moved three times because of noisy neighbors alone. But keep in mind, a lot of things are changeable, try to go outside as much as possible (maybe you find a nice safe route to walk). And keep your eyes open for alternative housing opportunities, also think of shared living with people that are like you. You are not alone with your struggles, it's just people like us are much less visible or heard and sometimes you have to keep looking in unexpected places to spot them. All the best for you! :)
wow this explains exactly what o went through a thew times in my life.. must recently during lockdown and the doctors just thought it was depression so they put me on ant depressants that didnt help all they did was intensify my symptoms and then to treat those symptoms o was put on anti pschotics which further made me suffer. cant believe I trusted the doctors and they made my suffering worse. I decided after months of suffering with no results to wean off the meds which was a major battle and even more suffering and when I did I understood more about my autism and how to manage it better and I'm doing ok. cant believe I went through all that suffering for nothing.
I can't even find words to express how similar it is to what I am going through, it's almost scary. Thank you so much for doing those studies, it's so helpful.
Me too. I was diagnosed late and did not have any support around me to follow through after diagnosis. I dis-identified with a great deal that I studied about autism after my diagnosis. I felt that I had been misdiagnosed. I went on continuing to try to live a life meeting neurotypical expectations and experienced more severe burn out several times. It came to the point of Street homelessness and hard substance abuse. I have some support now and things have stabilized and I have been reassessed and received the diagnosis again. I'm in my forties now and I'm actually ready to start thinking seriously about it. But I am so conditioned from my life experiences that asking for help is still incredibly difficult for me. I recently had my first experience with a support professional crossing boundaries and I did not know who to tell because I still am extremely isolated. It's hard to know where to even start when the one person you ask for help or disclose your autism to starts trying to establish a dual relationship. I just recently learned what that means and it explains some well-meaning people meddling in my life in the wrong way. I have this scheme of that if I tell someone what overwhelms me or what my needs are around that, they will use it to guilt-trip me or to make me uncomfortable to do what they want. It has happened many many many times in many contexts. For example several times at the women's homeless shelter I was bullied by neurotypical women. They would ask me to do things to break rules for them so that they would not get caught doing it. But I didn't know and when I got caught the shelter staff did not believe my story or the other woman and I would both be punished equally receiving strikes on our record. I would become overwhelmed and spend a lot of time hiding in the bathroom stall away from the other women. When I was reported for doing that coping oh, I was told I was not allowed to do it and that I needed to tell shelter staff instead of hiding from the bullies. I explained the situation honestly over and over to the shelter staff in these scenarios and it would always ended me becoming a Target away from the site of the shelter staff and getting points on my record. Attempting to leave a conflict situation to be by myself was interpreted as drug use in the bathroom. My meltdowns were interpreted as intoxication episodes. When I got three points I was kicked out onto the street and released from the shelter's case management.
hi I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, honestly I can relate to them nerotypicals even the ones who are supposed to protect us really dont understand or accommodate us with compassion they manipulate and treat us as inconveniences.. I wish their was a safe place for us to go to get away from the stressful situation in life and get support from trustworthy staff who understand how our brains work and give us the necessary support we need to have a better quality life. I domt know you but your story really hit home I feel like I wanna take you into my home and although I'm autistic too help you get back in your feet and feel safe supported and cared for.
Omg I realized how I’ve had this my whole life to a T T T T like everything u say is on point and my family was in poor care mental illness and abuse thru showed me inadvertently because they were below poverty and abused too and I have struggled since I was four I remeber sp much of my life yet I was diagnosed depression or then bipolar then adhd and non of meds r en helped now my doc said I needed higher level of care left illegally off all meds after putting me adrenal and clinbzspsm and a bipolar n depression med and hasn’t even tried to help me with new doc now my fiancé died I’m pregnant and this whole year I was gaslit and isolated and lost dsi for short time even because I couldn’t even keep apt or write letter and no one ever cared or related or felt all the things wre so bad as they’re for me stimulus and sounds etc are horrible I can barely shower. Can’t talk barely leaving house, already had attempted suicide years prior…. I’m steuggleing and no one is here to help!! Pleae help me!!!
I always felt peole would judge and no one understands and others write me off and gaslight or use me and I can’t talk to to others or try and ask for help cuz when k do it fails miserably and makes it harder
The DSM has two initial criteria for ASD. The first is summarized by social/emotional communication and 2) repetitive interests with sensory integration issues. What would it be called if criteria 1 was above par but criteria 2 was debilitating?
This is incredible. My ASD discord group shard this and it is an amazing interview. Would you mind me sharing it on LinkedIn? I think it's helpful for many of us autistics in business
unfortunately, in college there's no such thing as time accommodations for tests. you can get extra homework time but does it really matter if the test is still barreling at you on the same date? you just do worse because you're forced to take it without doing the HW.
![🎤 ไปกันต่อออ! จับฉลากร้องเพลง x P’ #XXSIVK [EP.2] (1/2) เพลงของใครจึ้งสุดน้าา 💓🎤 #MXFRUIT](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/mLI_K0sAS4o/mqdefault.jpg)
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I'm going through burnout right now. The lack of support and care for this in the US is staggering.
Me too. I have not been able to leave my house more than 2 times a week for the last 2 years...When I first burnout I couldn’t leave my house for 8 months. I keep trying to claw my way out of it and I keep getting worse. I bottomed out of the career I was building too. I used to be so NT passing and now it’s like the mask is made of molten lead...heavy and painful. Everyone keeps telling me that I seem to be getting worse and I know but I don’t know how to fix this. I am sorry you can’t find support either...
I am too. I'm completely stuck and unable to do ANYTHING right now. Yeah. It's because almost no one cares about us. We never mattered to most of society. We never will. Thank God for the few people that want to help us!
Same. At work, I am irritated beyond measure by so much as paper rattling, chit chat that happens 30 feet away from me in normal indoor voice level sounds like shouts to me. I hear every pin drop in the room and I cringe and wince when I hear it. Autistic Burnout is hell. Other people are hell.
I'm in the same boat here in New Zealand. I have 4 social workers but no physical help, respite, peer support or specialists versed in Autism, I have had to educate my team. I say things clearly, state needs and I am not heard or understood.
I characterise it as autistic regression 100%. It's awful. I could function quite well, personally and professionally and now I struggle with real basics. I can have conversations but the second it becomes a debate or disagreement, it is physically painful and I have to escape.
I am exactly the same, I’ve completely lost the ability to communicate like I used to. It’s so paralysing and exhausting. I used to love debating interesting topics, I have the knowledge but my body won’t let me continue, I feel my voice getting stuck, becoming mute and needing to flee the scene. It sucks because debating topics of interest were always one of my favourite things to do 😞
Burnout is the most hellish experiences of my life. I've been through it 5 times in my life. The 5th has been the last 10 days.
My first time as an adult ended with me in the hospital from an attempted suicide. The second was another, much less severe attempt. I decided suicide was virtually impossible for me at that point and ultimately not even what I wanted.
This time, there has not been and will be no attempt. If this stupid lonely dark abbyss of utmost despair and sensory hell is going to kill me, it won't be by my choice.
There desperately needs to be public services for adults with autism. We need access to housing that actually accommodates our sensory sensitivities (ie neighbor noise). We need a safe and comfortable place to stay when home is just too much. We need active, on demand, and sometimes 24/7 support just to not feel like we have to go through this alone. We need support for family members who burn out trying to emotionally support a loved one going through autistic burnout.
We need hope.
Thank you for doing this research and for being an advocate.
I can relate so much to your comment and I agree there is a desperate need for more support/accomadations for us. I have had two major burnouts in my life which have severley impacted my day to day life. The first one knocked me out of work for 5 years when I was 20. The second one at 34, 4 years before I got diagnosed had had a more permanent effect on my working life. It's difficult with family and I have set boundaries and had to limit contact. I do have some outside support thankfully, one to one but I have radically changed how I live my life. Quiet now and no drama from other people. I too have survived suicide attempts but I just haven't got the will. I am also glad this kind of research is being done.
“Do what you’re gonna do anyway, which is love us and give us a strong foundation.” That is not a given and can’t be taken for granted.
I am 40. Now self diagnosed. I experienced the worst burnout from 2020-2022. Now I get burntout very easily but I am working through it better now that I realise I am Autistic.
This video was of great help and has given me even more to work with in terms of finding solutions for myself. I will also share them on my YT page. I am sharing my experience with others to hopefully help and who know it may even help me as well.
Thank you two for making this video and all other parties involved. Also thanks for sharing the chart of ways that can lead to Autistic burnout. It has already started helping me think of ways to combat this issue with a solution based frame of thinking.
This video is much appreciated
Getting diagnosed as autistic helped relieve so much anxiety for me as I often mis- diagnosed my autistic burn out as dementia or brain damage. Living with a lumpy skill and energy set is very hard in a 9-5, Monday-Friday works world. I'm still getting lots of over-stimulated days but less burn out now I know. I'm grateful for this research.
I thought I had character defects until I realized about the autism. At first it was a relief to understand that the problem is my brain, not my character. But then I realized that I am hopelessly brain damaged....Now I actually wish it was character defect after all. One could improve one's character but can only accommodate such a brain defect.
You do not have a brain defect and are not brain damaged. Far from it. Please watch our TED talk to learn more and understand this better - th-cam.com/video/S8Nb2FDmQo4/w-d-xo.html
I’ve been stammering for the last two weeks from additional unrelenting stress during autistic burnout.
If I could get others to throw expectations for me out the window, I would feel so much better. I can do nothing but survive right now.
I was diagnosed autistic as an adult, after having children, both on the spectrum, and one with high support needs. Seeing them as my #1 priority/responsibility, in a black and white way I’ve been unaware of how to do self-care when children are, by definition, always needing the care of their parents. (I don’t have a social group for various reasons, at this point, and don’t have one to rely on for help.) Its been years of burn out now, and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover the skills I’ve lost. Now I’m just too tired to even try. The kids are almost 18, and I hope that will open up some support options for them, because I’ve become pretty useless, other than basic cleaning/feeding/administrative stuff. I’m becoming less capable at the same time as their needs increase. Life is really hard. My Dx came w/depression, anxiety, ADHD and PTSD dxs also. Take care of your brains, and make sure you have enough support before creating people who will rely on you, because you’ll never be able to do “parenting” properly without it. The kids will suffer, and living in a world not made for people who have autistic wiring is further complicated by witnessing your kids’ struggles/pain, because you cannot adequately meet their needs or help them access people who can.
Thank you for your work. I feel validated. I cried a lot.
Thank you for the research you've made. People need more informations and awareness.
I keep feeling like my 17 year old daughter has this . We’ve had her checked for autism and they said she doesn’t have it but I think it’s possible she’s been misdiagnosed. We’re planning on getting another physician to test her for a second opinion. She’s been a school refuser and had severe anxiety and depression since she was 13 . She’s been in counseling and on meds and nothing is working . I also see TH-cam videos by other autistic teens who share their struggles and some of them sound just like my daughters struggles . After having a bout of slight mutism ( she gets quiet like she can’t talk but it doesn’t last very long ) and anxiety and feeling “ off” , as she puts it , the other night after a day of doctors appointments I started searching again for clues . I came across autistic burn out where one girl was saying she’ll feel hungry but when she’s in burnout mode she opens the fridge and cabinets and gets overwhelmed by all the choices and can’t make herself get something to eat . I have seen my daughter do this on numerous occasions. I’ve seen her not be able to make herself do even the simplest of tasks and she doesn’t know why . This is just one thing I’ve seen . I think she’s been masking all her life and when we moved and she entered middle school she had reached burn out and started having panic attacks at the thought of going to school .
Nobody "has" autism. We *are* autistic. If your daughter is autistic and is burned out, she needs a break, re-creation
Take her out of school.
Who cares about school. This "do all the normal things!" Attitude of NT people is actually the problem itself. Give her space and let her pursue her passion
I wish we had an international autism community were we can share our enthusiasms and work with similar people to achieve great results.
Actually in real life we are surrounded with nero typical persons and can't get ahead with our lack of social circle.
Exactly! Perhaps there's one on Facebook...or other platforms?
There are a few distributed autistic communities internationally. It's so much easier with ND friends. Occasionally we'll try to meet up in person, but supporting each other virtually is still good.
Sometimes asking a contact on socials if they want to catch up for 15 mins on zoom is all you need to get started.
This is great! I’ve had burnout since I was young. Most of it started after I went through puberty. My first experience with it I remember being in 6th grade (12 years old). Every since then I have had like a spectrum of burnouts every year. Most of it has to do with expectations and workload and hormones. I hate it so much. It’s taken a huge toll on my body and health for sure.
If only I knew sooner any sooner all this time I was trying to heal everyone around me thinking and believing others when they told me and used me and gaslit me and said it’s all
In my head or bitch up or deal with it, I do… but I never looked into narsasism or ASD ever otherwise I def would’ve or could’ve been in better place, I’m scared, sick, alone, worried, anxious, and little energy, I talk all the time ANYWYS and I don’t kno what or how to get help I ask others and it never gets me anywhere….I watched ur stuff tho soooo long I love how u talk and ur knowledge ur so kind and ur voice is calming!! Been watching ur videos for some time now
I found earplugs to be a great help in cutting down on sensory input.. they brought more peace to my experiences in public etc.
In reference to one of the people Dora was talking about, 'after I quit my job.... (things went downhill)'. That was the mistake, quitting the job. The job created a foundation for so much of the rest of the things the person on the spectrum had to do, and could do.. It might be hard to keep the job going at times, but one should always stay in a job.. Being out of a job puts a greater emotional strain on people whether they're on the spectrum or not.
I have tinnitus so earphones doesnt give me silence. :(
@@jonbowzy511 I do too, and I am more aware of it's sound with the headphones on, but that's somehow preferable to the noise for me, and over time tinnitus seems to be improving, or at least it comes and goes more.
@@fredflintstone8048 I agree I live in an apartment with no soundproof it's a nightmare you can hear neighbours its like their living with u.. it really causes me distress but I'm unable to afford a house. living in an apartment also means theirs a lot of neighbours and some are criminals and cause problems seems I am trapped in hell I often wake up and think to myself why the hell I carry on if everyday is this miserable.
do you live alone or have you got company? I feel so isolated and lonely its causes me to have a miserable life and I don't wanna be here anymore.
@@jonbowzy511 Hello Jon, don't know if you will read this since it's so long long ago. But my heart goes out to you, I also suffer greatly from certain noises and in certain living conditions it often feels like there's no escape. I moved three times because of noisy neighbors alone. But keep in mind, a lot of things are changeable, try to go outside as much as possible (maybe you find a nice safe route to walk). And keep your eyes open for alternative housing opportunities, also think of shared living with people that are like you. You are not alone with your struggles, it's just people like us are much less visible or heard and sometimes you have to keep looking in unexpected places to spot them. All the best for you! :)
wow this explains exactly what o went through a thew times in my life.. must recently during lockdown and the doctors just thought it was depression so they put me on ant depressants that didnt help all they did was intensify my symptoms and then to treat those symptoms o was put on anti pschotics which further made me suffer. cant believe I trusted the doctors and they made my suffering worse. I decided after months of suffering with no results to wean off the meds which was a major battle and even more suffering and when I did I understood more about my autism and how to manage it better and I'm doing ok. cant believe I went through all that suffering for nothing.
I’m 49 and am in the midst of burnout. Seeking a diagnosis and treatment
I can't even find words to express how similar it is to what I am going through, it's almost scary. Thank you so much for doing those studies, it's so helpful.
burnout was fun in the 1960, 70s & 80s, when neither l nor anybody else knew that “high functioning” autism was a thing.
Me too. I was diagnosed late and did not have any support around me to follow through after diagnosis. I dis-identified with a great deal that I studied about autism after my diagnosis. I felt that I had been misdiagnosed. I went on continuing to try to live a life meeting neurotypical expectations and experienced more severe burn out several times. It came to the point of Street homelessness and hard substance abuse. I have some support now and things have stabilized and I have been reassessed and received the diagnosis again. I'm in my forties now and I'm actually ready to start thinking seriously about it. But I am so conditioned from my life experiences that asking for help is still incredibly difficult for me. I recently had my first experience with a support professional crossing boundaries and I did not know who to tell because I still am extremely isolated. It's hard to know where to even start when the one person you ask for help or disclose your autism to starts trying to establish a dual relationship. I just recently learned what that means and it explains some well-meaning people meddling in my life in the wrong way. I have this scheme of that if I tell someone what overwhelms me or what my needs are around that, they will use it to guilt-trip me or to make me uncomfortable to do what they want. It has happened many many many times in many contexts. For example several times at the women's homeless shelter I was bullied by neurotypical women. They would ask me to do things to break rules for them so that they would not get caught doing it. But I didn't know and when I got caught the shelter staff did not believe my story or the other woman and I would both be punished equally receiving strikes on our record. I would become overwhelmed and spend a lot of time hiding in the bathroom stall away from the other women. When I was reported for doing that coping oh, I was told I was not allowed to do it and that I needed to tell shelter staff instead of hiding from the bullies. I explained the situation honestly over and over to the shelter staff in these scenarios and it would always ended me becoming a Target away from the site of the shelter staff and getting points on my record. Attempting to leave a conflict situation to be by myself was interpreted as drug use in the bathroom. My meltdowns were interpreted as intoxication episodes. When I got three points I was kicked out onto the street and released from the shelter's case management.
hi I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles, honestly I can relate to them nerotypicals even the ones who are supposed to protect us really dont understand or accommodate us with compassion they manipulate and treat us as inconveniences.. I wish their was a safe place for us to go to get away from the stressful situation in life and get support from trustworthy staff who understand how our brains work and give us the necessary support we need to have a better quality life. I domt know you but your story really hit home I feel like I wanna take you into my home and although I'm autistic too help you get back in your feet and feel safe supported and cared for.
Omg I realized how I’ve had this my whole life to a T T T T like everything u say is on point and my family was in poor care mental illness and abuse thru showed me inadvertently because they were below poverty and abused too and I have struggled since I was four I remeber sp much of my life yet I was diagnosed depression or then bipolar then adhd and non of meds r en helped now my doc said I needed higher level of care left illegally off all meds after putting me adrenal and clinbzspsm and a bipolar n depression med and hasn’t even tried to help me with new doc now my fiancé died I’m pregnant and this whole year I was gaslit and isolated and lost dsi for short time even because I couldn’t even keep apt or write letter and no one ever cared or related or felt all the things wre so bad as they’re for me stimulus and sounds etc are horrible I can barely shower. Can’t talk barely leaving house, already had attempted suicide years prior…. I’m steuggleing and no one is here to help!! Pleae help me!!!
I always felt peole would judge and no one understands and others write me off and gaslight or use me and I can’t talk to to others or try and ask for help cuz when k do it fails miserably and makes it harder
Are you doing ok now?
Thank you so much for sharing this.
The DSM has two initial criteria for ASD. The first is summarized by social/emotional communication and 2) repetitive interests with sensory integration issues. What would it be called if criteria 1 was above par but criteria 2 was debilitating?
This is incredible. My ASD discord group shard this and it is an amazing interview.
Would you mind me sharing it on LinkedIn? I think it's helpful for many of us autistics in business
Yes please do
Thanks.
unfortunately, in college there's no such thing as time accommodations for tests. you can get extra homework time but does it really matter if the test is still barreling at you on the same date? you just do worse because you're forced to take it without doing the HW.
That guy was a bit of a jerk
howso