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#FFXIV #FinalFantasyXIV #Drama
I find that when someone you barely know starts trauma dumping on you right away, that's a red flag.
especially when they follow up with a “you can be BRUTALLY honest with me” lmao
This stuff happens so much we're ppl jump to conclusions from just hearing one side of the story and not the other. A life lesson from my grandmother was " theirs always two side of a story, always look for both before coming to conclusions".
Everyone is "going through something". There is NEVER an excuse to treat anyone like this over FFXIV or any game for that matter. Anyone who justifies the actions of the 'trans person' in this story, is just wrong.
I was about to say this, but you said it ten hours previous. Glad I checked.😖
My best friend and I play FF14 together, and this person he was hanging out with on another World got jealous, and began telling my friend to stop hanging with me, that I was a bad friend, etc, all because they saw me entering a house my friend and I have together.
Turned out, after weeks of harassment, they were just an emotionally abusive and possessive person who had their sights on my friend and wanted my friend to return to being their "white knight" ingame that made them feel safe and special.
Sometimes people just confuse in-game with real life.
I had a guy in NN make holocaust jokes. They were asked to stop by a few people and they explained why he should stop. Then they kept trying to justify it so I kicked them from NN. Then they kept sending me /tells asking why I kicked them so I explained it but they said they didn't want to read it. So I asked them to leave me alone but they would not even after I told them I would report and they even told me to. Then they asked me why I was being a d@#k. So I sent the jokes and all their tells to t a GM showing them the whole conversation. They have never been back.
So many great stories, I’ve been binging your content for the past week and it’s just endless entertainment
One thing I have learned over the years is when someone gives you a diatribe about being honest and open about your opinions with them, it is a red flag. Yes, I said diatribe, because it is not from a position of trust or sincerity, it is inquisitory and malicious veiled in polite verbal gestures. Something insecure people do; This Angie person sounds like they need a good psychiatrist, someone who can actually help them, rather than rub their ego or humour and cultivate their illness like a psychologist; The last thing they need is a person who supports their damaged mindset and guides them along the path of self destruction, which is something they desperately seek. What they want is not a friend, or someone who can help them, what they want is a mother figure who can hold their hand and agree with their unhealthy mindset to set their confused mind at ease so they have someone there to agree with them so their own self doubt and questioning their own life choices can be reaffirmed. Someone with a fragile ego needs help to grow self confidence and affirmative attitudes towards their own life and life choices so they can love themselves, mature and be confident with their decisions;
Not placations to avert self doubt. Someone who is comfortable with their life choices and happy with the direction they have taken can overcome and ignore both past hardships and trauma, not care about what other people think of them and can tell the world around them to $#*@ off if they dare to question their decisions for their own life, someone who is no longer self destructive but confident.
If they suffer from PTSD, there are therapies now to deal with that, if they suffer from gender dysphoria, again there is a method to deal with that, again, what they need is professional help, there are people who care.
I have the stuff happen to me where people keep trying to follow stalk and create multiple alts or use there existing alts to hound , harass and spend numerous hours just watching me and trying to ruin any new friendships I every try to create. But no matter how much it’s shamed , these people feel it’s absolutely fine. And that’s not ok, move on and leave them alone. It’s not paranoia when the alt admits it’s them and tries talking to you again. And yes all over a rejection of an advance or argument. If they don’t want to be your friend or talk to you .. deal with it. Leave that person alone.
So ffxiv is a great game with some really amazing people like with any mmo tbh... but you will always find people like Angie who need to go outside and touch grass. They spend too much time in game and need to go out to live their lives instead of destroying others.
You have to actually delete your character to truly unfriend someone. If you come back to the same server, you will pop up on their friends list again because it's tied to the character ID. It doesn't matter if you change your name.
Trauma dumping has always an issue, as you want to hear and try to help, but you may not be able to give them the comfort that they desire, leading to a strained relationship.
it is okay to not be okay with hearing about it. It doesn't make you a monster. Many streamers even have it as a rule to not do so because they want to maintain a healthy atmosphere for everyone.
if you feel like telling about your history that you feel would make the mass uncomfortable, please go to someone who can give you professional help, not some random strangers on the internet or even irl. If you feel like the people around you would be understanding and could possibly aid you in some way, please ask for their consent first before doing so. Your own story could be triggering to someone who may be experiencing something similar.
And if someone becomes uncomfortable with what you're telling them, they have every right to because they are as human as you as they are trying to understand what you went through. They aren't your therapist or punching bag. Please don't project your own frustrations of other people onto them and especially don't harass or stalk them.
I'm not saying for others to not talk about their life experiences, as many have bonded over what they've gone through. But please see from other's perspectives. Just as you want them to understand you, please understand them.
And NEVER take out your anger on others. If you don't like being harassed/stalked, never do it to others. Victims can end up as abusers that create new victims.
Just a lil ramble, not my complete thoughts. Stay safe out there 💕
I had this kind of drama (the getting hurt by being honest) back in another mmorpg though it wasnt really involve me. This A person was kind but sometimes A would vent to any of us (guild), especially when A felt comfortable to do so. Sure, I don't mind being the listener and so I became 1. In the game and on discord
One day, I went hiatus from the game. Simply playing other games and busy with college stuffs. A asked me where I was and I told them I didnt feel like to play the game and I would let them know when I wanted to come back. Of course, I let A know to feel free to talk to me. Weeks later, I noticed A went quiet on discord as they didnt reply to my last message and days later A account was deleted.
I went online and A wasn't in the guild anymore. I asked around and guild leader dmed me saying A got hurt by others' brutal honesty. A at the time was 18 or 19 years old and A would always venting how they didn't like staying in parents house due to family problems they had
I guess some of the guild members didn't like the constant same complains that they told A to get a job, save money and move out. Guild leader said apparently that snapped A. I forgot if A ever said anything after that but A quit the guild, left discord and deleted their account
I felt bad for A because not everyone would be the kind of listener that you expected. Most of times, brutal honesty helps though it still depends on the person, to accept or acting rude when they don't want to
What I remember is that it wasnt a simple thing for A to just leave and live alone. I dont know the real exact words of what did A venting about in the guild chat that time but I agreed with the guild leader that people could just ignore A. All these times A had only wanted to vent because A did tell me and the guild leader that they knew what needed to be done. I hope A is doing okay right now
This story just seems like just another day in FFXIV. People in this game get so overly emotional over the smallest thing regardless of what it is. Like, just log off or block them. If they start slandering you to your friends and they believe this person, then they were never your friends to begin with. Cut them off, end of story. Defamation of a name in ffxiv over something like this really has no weight imo, I personally would just not give a shit. That’s just me though.
usually when people have nothing but sob stories about all their family and friends hating them, its most likely them just seeing what they want to see and in time you become another one of those horrible people that they think mistreated them
IRL. if someone/a friend refuses to see my side of the story, id just ignore them. plain and simple. i had this happened a couple of times now and kinda sick of it. so yea id mostly believe this story
I think the only way to, "run away" Is to delete your character. That is the only way it shows up as, "Unable to retrieve" With the way the DC's are implemented now. UNLESS you change to a _definitive_ different DC. Like NA > EU, etc.
I know we are supposed to be considerate to folks from marginalized groups, but sometimes individuals from those groups are terrible people as much as any "normie." Having bad stuff done to you does not give you license to do bad stuff to others.
honest base on most mmo i played, if just compare toxic community i met in game, ff14 no doubt the top tier(top 1 for me), prog group people screeching on their RL partner in discord voice, weird people sent hate text when i dont join their "lgbt safespace, especially for trans" fc, people purposely screw the alliance by bring tank buster / flip the boss murder the alliance multiple time, unhinged rp in dungeon chat who spam text when called out, etc.
other mmo i played, not as frequent as ff14 when comes to toxic.
Man imagine logging off? So much drama can be solved when you realize it’s just a game 😂
Outside of game I've actually had someone who I thought was a friend come up to me and told me, "everyone thinks you're over reacting" when I really wasn't they blamed me for breaking up a friend group when I really didn't have that big of an influence on the people in my friend group. People who approach conversations like this want you to feel like they have more people behind them then they do. I later found out that it wasn't my fault and that it was only this girl that had a problem with how I responded. If they intend to or not it's a manipulation tactic, in and out of game.
Wondering if this "Angie" is the same person I am dealing with, lol.
People are freakin’ cray!
Angie is a psycho. The original sentence that set angie off wasn't even that bad? To go to the lengths she did JUST cause of that sentence is WILD
A huge red flag is that someone said "You can be honest with me" lol, people who say that more commonly just want validation they can believe in.
I feel sorry for you. You clowns are so distrusting of others.
So from this we learn that never share any story to the people in the internet they can flip it really fast XD
I see some red flags with OP. First off, who refers to themself as "wholesome"? Second, they kicked a number of players from their FC for what seems like very little reason. Just because they took Angie's side? If OP is truly so "wholesome" wouldn't that eventually shine through? So the players would come to see your side, and you wouldn't have to kick them just because they don't agree with you?
So I've had friends who have transferred from EU to NA and then come back to EU and they still stay on my friends list if I don't remove the unable to retrieve
Keep up the stories!!!
Sadly there’s another way people can stalk you even if you change names. The lodestone. :c
honestly - these stories get out of hand. One more unreasonable and unlikely than the other.
Its not easy "finding someone in limsa" or "following someone", but thats not even my pet peeve here. More like the actual amount of timeconsuming work in general (throughout most of these stories - but also here) for one misinterpreted sentense. Even if true, this feels incredibly onesided to the point i would ask myself if she really just said "its a hard topic bro".
On another note, what is that dance the person on the left is doing? 👀
Oh god I was an Angie
If op started all new everything how would Angie have known it was them
as I found out recently unless you blacklist someone and you remove them from your friends list but they didnt remove you, they can see if you changed names or servers. And you cannot add someone to a blocklist unless you interacted with them recently
via the lodestone. You can change your Name and DC but not the Lodestone Character ID (it's the number you find in your character profile site)
@@UplifitingNova Wait. explain this again. what number ?
@@shawnhayes6938 when you go to your character profile on the lodestone and you look at the link you'll see at its end a series of numbers: that's the character id and it's always the same even if you change appearence and dc.
@@UplifitingNova So maybe it is my profile and cause I am logged in. Not sure. But the first toon I saw had numbers at the end. But when I switched to my others toons, the numbers disappeared.
So something about this confuses me. I have several alts on several servers. How did Angie know what alt the OP was on and what server?? How can people find this out ? Please someone tell me. Cause I have gone to great measures to hide anything on my profile from public eye and I tell no one of these alts. So how did Angie find out this info ?
Angie didn't follow the OP's alt they followed the OP's main after changing names and server. This is because of FF14s way of friendslist it doesn't disappear for the other end when someone deletes someone.
@@pathra Ok. FFXIV needs to fix that feature. That is not good at the moment...😒
More. Briiing me mooooore!
Angie needs to get a life
To anyone who has been seeing how things have developing over the last few years, this might be the least surprising story that Pathra has ever read
I never understand that, I assume OP had been friends with the others longer than they knew Angie, why listen to her?
100%
Sorry I zoned out, what happened?
🎭
Not to defend Angie but I can see how they have probably gone through a lot. Trauma dumping isn't something you should do, but the people who open up like this often are very vulnerable so depending on how people talked to them, they could've been deeply hurt and pushed further into a dark place. Especially putting the blame of an abuse victim for their situation is fucked up.
And whatever "bad thing OP sad a few years ago" sounds sus as hell. I think Angie was treated with a lot of disrespect. This does not legitimize stalking or harrassment, but I also believe that Angie was deeply hurt by OP and others and wanted others to see how secretly terrible they were. Just to feel better about what happened, to have someone side with them.
I mean some people are just crazy. But the fact that the op is being so vague makes me think they said something transphobic. They even admit to wording something wrong. What was it?
Omg words, people are so sensitive grow up. Also how can someone say something is "scared of trans"? Stop making up words, no one is afraid of them.
@@A-Monkman Scared of trans? That's not what that word means. And yes, literally everything in this story is just words. They are upset at the words use on them, without saying the words they used first. These are also words. Words do a lot and say alot about a person. It's called communication.
@@stoneenergy8959 Go read a dictionary, having a phobia is being scared of something. Like I said stop making up words, thanks.
@@A-Monkman Its I'm the dictionary with an actual definition. Not sure what you're trying to prove. A word didn't exist in my school so it's not real. What an intelligent way to learn.
@@A-Monkman words have meanings you dunce.
🤮
Angie is a pretty feminine name, I hope that the "their/them" pronouns the person writing the story were Angie's preferred pronouns. Otherwise it would be pretty weird how they insist on using those pronouns instead of she/her.
IMO the OP is using they to further anonymize "Angie" (which might or might not be the person's actual in-game name) and is not related to non-binary pronouns.
@@specialnewb9821 and even if they did mess up their pronouns doesn't justify stalking and harassment, mistakes happen
This point is moot. I know plenty of NB people including myself who have gendered names and still prefer they/them. Apart from that, they/them is perfectly fine to use to anonymize someone.