WHY I DON'T LOVE MYSELF | Doctor Mom VLOGmas ep. 8
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ก.ย. 2024
- The way I was raised (strict Asian parents) really shaped my outlook on life and ultimately shaped how I perceive myself, my accomplishments, and my self worth.
I know many of us have internal thoughts like: "you're a failure," "that was such a dumb mistake," "what were you thinking?! why would you say that?!" -We would never say these things to the people we love and yet we can easily say negative things ourselves 10, 20, even 100 times a day. Is that really love?
Today I talk about my own experience and some things that I am doing to love myself better. If you have found things that have helped you - please leave them in the comment section. I am sure you will help someone else who has been struggling.
Keep in Touch!
Wyatt, London, and I and fairly active on instastories. Follow us / dr.jennale if you are interested in more behind the scenes of medicine/hospital and home life!
DISCLAIMER: This video is for educational purposes only. This should not replace the speciality or counseling of your physician.
We all say negative things towards ourselves that we would never say to the people that we love ... so do we truly love ourselves?
CHALLENGE! Let’s tell ourselves a compliment today - good job for filming this video! It will help someone out there 💪🏽
What is your compliment?
I appreciate your struggles ❤️
@JennyLe
View yourself as your “inner child” once in a while... learn to love from that place (mindset / zone), overtime loving &/or caring for “yourself” will feel natural gradually.
“TinaTurner: I took all the challenges as they were, and I overcame them. My life is a love story!”
Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo
www.worldtribune.org/2018/07/queen-hope-tina-turner/
It’s definitely a journey. I will say I love myself more now than I have ever in the past
I was crying while watching the video. When I found God, I learned to love myself. My anxiety was gone and I have peace. Praying for you ❤️ Thanks for sharing! I appreciate you.
Thank you 🙏🏼❤️
You are pure light, Jenny. Even more when you share your shadows. Thanks for sharing and normalizing mental health! We are all in there, some more aware than others 😉
Yes she the few doctor show the other side of themself and accept and admit that things are not ok.
I appreciate this whole series, especially this video. Listening to you made it seem like I was listening to my own life story. I grew up with very strict, overprotective parents--to the point where I myself didn't know what I wanted. Looking back, I didn't have many friends growing up in high school or middle school either. It was eat, study, go to school, sleep, and repeat. Thank you for sharing your story and for being so genuine. You inspire me everyday ❤️
We’re in this together! I’ve learned that strength can be in the must vulnerable places. ❤️ glad of have this amazing community
The fact that you’re in residency, a mom, and that you moved away to find yourself in college says a lot about you❤️❤️. That’s a lot of courage to say the least. Thank you for opening up, because of your story it makes me realize I am in my own path ❤️❤️ and it won’t be perfect
I really relate. I'm 30 and just finished law school, and I'm coming to the realization that I've more or else never done anything without trying to get the approval of other people. I also have a very hard time doing things for the sole purpose of enhancing my own happiness and fulfillment.
It's made doubly hard by the fact that I live with a very obvious physical disability, and even people who don't know at all, and know nothing about the complexities of living my life, feel like it's okay to tell me their opinion about how I should live.
This is a total trap though because 100% of the best things I ever done, are things pretty much only I believed I could do: living alone from age 18, 3 week-backpacking trip in Botswana getting a cat, etc. etc. etc.
I was recently diagnosed with PTSD related to my medical trauma, and also childhood bullying. God bless my psychiatrist, because I legitimately thought I was just failing at mental health recovery...but it turns out I have a highly treatment-resistant illness, and years of hard work ahead. I'm proud that I found the strength to keep showing up to therapy...a great many people are not that brave.
Good luck finding your voice. It's the most painful / liberating thing you can do And you are not alone..
I am so proud and inspired by your story. Thank you for sharing. I hope to find my perfect therapist one day.
I really appreciate you opening up in this video. I also grew up in an environment where I felt like I was never good enough. I’m 22 now and still struggle with my self-image. Thank you so much for sharing💖
Thank you Mia for taking the time to comment. We are not alone ❤️
🙋🏾♀️Work in progress... thank you so much for sharing! I needed that reassurance that’s it truly is okay not to be okay as long as we try to work through it.
This definitely resonated with me
❤️
🙋🏻♀️ 100% relatable!!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts & feelings❤️. I believe your channel is like a safe space for everyone. You're always truthful and encouraging...Love you so much🙆🏻♀️❤️
(I cried with you in this video😅)
Fighting 💪🏼!!!
❤️❤️❤️ your comments always make me smile! Thank you 🥰
@@drjennale ❤️
I’ve lived with 2 psychopaths until I finished college. I don’t know how I did it and still finished medical school. Obviously I still have issues to deal with but I have grown mentally and emotionally sooo much in the past couple of years.
Yes seem like a nice genuine human being.
I wish all the best for you❤️and I don’t like seeing you cry❤️❤️❤️
You honestly shed a light on some feelings I've had about myself and truly I find inspiration in you Jenny. I find that by having this perfectionist mindset I'm constantly bashing myself in pre-med under imposter syndrome. I keep telling myself I'm not good enough even though I know I'm trying my best. Future video maybe discussing imposter syndrome and how to handle it? Love you so much and all that you share with us!
Thank you so much for sharing, Jenny. I had a very similar upbringing. I’m still working on relearning how to enjoy things. I used to enjoy things that made other people happen especially my parents. Now, I’m trying to pursue things I have genuine interest in rather than things that will impress my parents.
Thank you so much for sharing this, Jenny. This kind of honesty and vulnerability is not easy, especially for so many people on the internet. But this made me feel slightly less alone in feeling this way and thinking similar thoughts, so thank you. I hope we can all find peace in this journey of healing from past trauma and eventually developing enough self love to be kind to ourselves. ❤️
It’s all a journey. And I am definitely loving myself more with the years. The sense of community and not feeling a lone is probably what helps the most ❤️
I appreciate how candid you are! Mental health is not talked about enough, especially in the medical field. I just wrapped up my first semester of med school, and I genuinely appreciated this reminder to set boundaries and to truly think about the things that bring me joy and purpose.
First semester of med school done!! 🥳 enjoy your winter break! Thank you sticking by me all these years ❤️ I appreciate you
@@drjennale Oh my goodness, your videos have been so instrumental to me. I, for sure, have been following your medical journey since before Wyatt was born. I haven't been on TH-cam much during school, but I'm super excited to catch up on your recent videos. They truly have been so helpful for me 💕
We have grown so much together 🥰 so happy to see your comments
i just finished my first semester of medical school and this video was exactly what i needed to hear. thank you, stay strong. you’re not alone! 💜
Congratulations!!! Much need break 👩🏻⚕️
Jenny! Thank you for sharing such a personal story... yeah growing up with indian parents amd being a doctor and mum of 2 now i completely understand and feel what you are going through! I admire your courage to go public and stand up for mental health issues. Keep it up! Love Anu
We’re in the same boat! How old are your little ones?
4 and 1.5 😆, and im a resident too. And i did had moderate depression once. And nowadays with so much work and kids i really feel im surviving, i cant concentrate and focus for long time. I have no energy to do studying of household.. and very often feel that o should be better and that i am too lazy. So yeah... i love my kids, my husband and my patients... but i cant forgive myswlf for being this weak.... so i understand you completely
Hi Dr. Jenny, your vulnerability to be open about your mental health is something I respect. Similar to you, growing up in a Asian household the idea of having mental health and getting help for it can still be foreign. I was also scared to speak up for things I wanted. There were time where I felt like I was inadequate in my journey through life. I’ve been compared to other relatives in terms of them being successful in school and their careers. I’ve had family members that doubt me. In addition, seeking approval from others really affected me. So I’m grateful that I came across your video and felt I can relate to what you’re going through so much 😭😭🙋🏻♀️🙋🏻♀️
Now I’ve gotten a chance to work on myself. Like you said, having resources and a solid support group is crucial. So I’m learning to embrace and question the negative thoughts I have of myself. I guess when I do become a parent, then I can understand why my parents raised me the way they did. I don’t blame them. Setting boundaries is also something I continue to work on. Loving myself will always be a work In progress.
Now being a mom, I understand that my parents did the best that they could. Not perfect by any means but their best none the less. It has helped me forgive.
Glad you have found the strength to work on yourself. We’re rooting for you 💪🏽
Love you and your message. I love your suggestion about trying to talk to yourself like you would your kids. I have been missing that self love too. ❤❤❤
WOW, love your honesty, not everyone has the ability or wants to open up, and especially not on social media. Unfortunately, such ailments are still stigmatized, so very glad you brought this up.
I think it’s important we try to be the change we wish to see in the world 👩🏻⚕️
I will always continue to love what you put out there for us to see. This is truly being transparent, thank you. Makes us feel less alone.
Thank you Jasleen. I appreciate you 🥰
You are a pure soul !
Jenny you're not alone..all Asian parents are the same, they don't know how to show love and positive appreciation..it's definitely a Vietnamese cultural thing..they are afraid if they say you're doing a good job or they are proud of you..you can't change them but you can accept and love yourself...your story is similar to mine most young talented Vietnamese young women. You're better than me..I blame my parents for giving me a complex and mental health issues..after many years of therapy, I accept myself and allow myself to not make up excuses for my parents behaviour. I don't raise my kids that way. You're awesome as is.
I did blame my mom for the longest time. It was only the last few years that I’ve had enough love for myself that I’ve learned forgiveness
Thank you for your vulnerability and being real in this space. I can relate like so many others. It's hard to grow up in a household where you aren't seen for who you are and where you have to walk in the shadows of parental expectations. I get our parents want us to do better, be better.. but it should not be at the expense of becoming who you are and the development of your own love for that person. I'm not a people doctor, but an animal doctor.. and 7 years out I still feel like an imposter and struggle with my confidence. Growing up the way I did has helped me become a better mother though.. giving my child what I didn't get is incredibly healing and vindicating.. that's what has unexpectedly helped me so much. You are enough Jenny
Thank you Lisa ❤️ I think that was one of my biggest fears. I didn’t want to mess up as a parent. I knew I didn’t want to raise my children the way my parents raised me ... but then again I too bad right?! It’s a fine line
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. Sending you love always! I grew up very similarly & it is difficult to tell where home is in college, as I am in undergrad and realizing what my own dreams are for myself. I’m so happy to see you have achieved what you have set out to do!
Thank you ❤️ I wish I could do college over again as the person I am now! I would have 4x as much fun 😁
Very proud of you for posting this! Praying for you to continue to grow and love yourself 💕
Thank you 🥰 I am enjoying the journey
This totally resonated with me. I have been doing shadow work for years, and i feel its never ending.I realised that my self discovery will be life long. I admire your accomplishments despite so many challenges. Well done. My compliment for myself today is "I accept every single aspect about myself. If i met myself,i would be madly in love with myself." I also realised that the people i am trying to please will never be pleased, so i stopped pleasing them. That was freedom to me and took away so much stress I was going through.
Yes! I love that. Self discovery is life long. I am happier now then I have been in the past.
Thank you for sharing your story Jenny! I look up to you in many ways💕
Thank you for taking the time to listen 🥰
Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing these thoughts & feelings 💗So many of us have also felt this way also, and personally for me, this video makes me feel seen & less alone. We are so grateful for you & your channel and we love you!
this is my purpose ❤️❤️❤️ I see you and we are in this together.
Thank you so much for sharing! I really empathize with you. You’re not alone! And this was a wonderful reminder to set boundaries and keep realizing what our own goals are!
Hi Jenny - oh my goodness I loved this! I guess what you can glean out of what you went through is how not to parent your own children. Especially since it affected you this way. Turning a bad thing around helps us deal with it, if possible. You are beautiful. You are a well-respected physician. You have a beautiful family. Now you can shine. And teach others from your own experience. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story. You'll always be my hero! I think I will share some of this on my own channel. How you dealt with this is simply amazing. I think I can do this and love myself more than ever. You're crying because it's so emotional, so personal, so private and you are still dealing with it. I'm going through something so hard right now that in hearing this....has helped. I'm going to love myself more. We'll get through it ....Merry Christmas my dear friend. Love, Jeanie xxoo
Oh Jeanie. I’m sending you my love. May you find strength and peace ❤️
🙋🏽♀️ work in progress
But this is why you’re so relatable and someone I feel I can look to for advice. You don’t show the journey from the end, you show it from the messy middle. You’ve come so far and are still willing to show that you still have progress to be made.
Thank you for sharing🧡. Jenny, You make me cannot pass comment section!
I was also struggling with similar things like shame,guilty and guilty.
Just realizing that how I am serious about other people’s reaction or reputation etc, I can feel better now! Btw you look so pretty with natural makeup. I hope you feeling better and better! A Big hug from Seoul,Korea❤️
Me!! Thank you for sharing! I'm in my 3rd yr of med school and those feelings are heightened when I see everyone else surviving and I'm constantly struggling! My sense of self-worth has been so ingrained with my educational achievement that it's been hard failing classes and not feeling less than.
I feel you! I said it in one of my videos from med school - I felt like a big fish when I was in a little pond. Once I got to med school (big pond) I felt small cause there were so many big fish!
Eventually I learned that I’m enough. Still hard not to compare but it’s all about the growing process. 3rd year!! You’re almost done 🥳
Thank you so much for being so vulnerable, it's precious. I see so much of myself in your story. Sending you love, healing and strength. You are awesome 💕
Thank for watching and taking the time to comment 🥰
Trust me Jenny. I'm ten years older than you and the fact you're able to cry bout it and share means you're well on your way to self love,acceptance and healing. It's ok to acknowledge your parents misgivings,forgive them even ,but making up excuses for their choices just adds salt to the wound,I have found that for me to grow and move on, I forgive but I don't forget .if I don't forget I'm reminded how not to naturally behave due to learned helplessness..we learn from our parents, we need to change so we can unlearn the negative behaviours to protect the next generation.
Exactly! We don’t raise our children this way and for that I’m thankful
🙋🏾♀️ almost done with undergrad but it’s killing me
You’re almost there!! And you’ve come such a long way. Be proud of that
Love you always Jenny!!! 💕 You are an Amazing Women and a Beautiful Mother! It just goes to show that you truly never know what inter battles someone is facing! Love you and Remember that you are Wonderful in every way! ❤️😇
Thank you Sofia! Reminding us all to just be kind ❤️
Thank you for sharing! I have enjoyed seeing your growth and journey and appreciate your vulnerability. You are great in my opinion, but that's not the opinion that counts. I've been working on extending compassion and curiosity to see what the parts of me that can be inwardly negative need to feel safe so they can relax and I can feel more confident. All parts of myself need love, but love takes time and trust building. 🧡
So beautiful said ❤️
Jenny you are the best and the bravest for sharing these feelings on social media. Thank you for that, many can relate ❤️
Thank you for this video you're not alone at all :) self hate is real and I only hope we talk more about these topics ❤️
Jenny I feel you! I had sort of the same issue with my parents. I’m not asian but Hispanic parents can also can be quite strict as mine were. I feel great watching your video and knowing I’m not alone. It’s horrible feeling unworthy but working on you just gives you so much happiness that makes you forget even what happened in the past. Keep strong and you ain’t on your own Jenny 🥰
🥰 the community is amazing and seriously have brought me so much happiness. Thank you
Thank you for sharing your journey, and I feel many of us are struggling with the same feelings that you’re going through.
🙌🙌 I like real people like this. We learn so much. Continue doing your thing and thank you for helping us by sharing your experiences. ❤️
I remember telling my mom bout passing my board, got licensed,and you know shared it with her(like typical mom-daughter relationship) I know she’s happy for me and everything but the answer I get from her was “ ahhh I’ve thought you passed the other licenses test,the higher one”...Gurl, my heart got broken , killed myself to study😞neglected my family,my house,my friends and most importantly my self ,just to make them proud of me.I know the feeling when you gave everything and still not enough for them,that,so yea i really feels you ,what’s being like to be in that shoes... bright sides, ( I feel challenged to make myself big in the future , I know one day I will be in that position... don’t get me wrong, I love her,she’s my mom,and nothing will change with that... Asian here...🙋🏻♀️
Congratulations on passing boards!! That’s a huge accomplishment 🥳
Having children presents you with the opportunity to re-live and confront your (and your spouse's) childhood issues. I firmly believe that. Those issues can affect every aspect of your current family life (how you raise your children, your marriage, etc.). I think it affects most *conscious* people to some degree. People who are less conscious of their affect on others seem to get stuck in a cycle that they can't easily break out of. Being aware of these issues, and the pain, can really be a blessing in disguise. You have the opportunity to view your issues from your current vantage point-- as an adult with an adult "tool kit." Easier said than done. ;) I've said some of the things you mentioned to myself. I think most of us have. You're right. You're/we're not alone.
I grew up in a mixed-race family (Asian and Caucasian). My Asian side came over to the U.S. in the late 1890s, so I'm fourth generation born here. Less of that immigrant mentality--the strive for perfection (and the associated judgement), but there are always unspoken expectations. Wanted to learn more about the vastly diverse group we call "Asian American," so I double majored in Asian American Studies at the university. My child is 3/4 Asian American and 1/4 Caucasian. So that brings a whole other level to the cultural impact of expectation, judgement, and how we raise our child. Again, It's not easy.
Every day I tell my child, that "not matter what happens, I love you." Unconditional love.
Put simply, you're good enough. By being you, you're bringing your unique life experience to the table, and you're GOOD ENOUGH. I don't care whether you're physician, janitor, gas station attendant. The jobs, what we surround ourselves with do not define us. By being human, we are all good enough. We all make mistakes. We all learn. We all feel the same feelings, etc. Hang in there. We're all in this together!
I have a internist friend with severe peanut allergy and asthma--she signed up for the shot! Easier to treat anaphylaxis than severe COVID! ;) Nothing to fear-- a little soreness at the site of injection.
I always said that I started TH-cam to build a community and make real connections. I have truly learned so much from you MoutainMan. I think it’s only fitting you tell me your name now so we can be real friends.
@@drjennale I'm Matt. Nice to meet you! :) BTW, the learning is mutual. Looking forward to the next vid!
I think I needed to hear this. Im doing my ug in medicine and due to having repeated backlogs I always felt I'm not may be good enough for doing medicine or may be I'm too dumb or something like that. I didn't realize what I was feeding my brain until now. Thank you so much!!
❤️ you go this!! 💪🏽👩🏻⚕️
@@drjennale thank you!
I usually don't say it out loud though I know very well I'm struggling with self worth issues and my backlogs too.
I believe it is almost impossible for us to always address our own needs no matter how much we want to love ourselves. It might be helpful for others to know when we are not able to fulfill our own needs and try to boost our ability to do so. That can be difficult if they are also taxed. It is not a fault if we are unable to do for ourselves what we need. Even being in a completely different position from you, I identified with everything you said or at least understood where you were coming from. I think the standards that life can set for us are very often outside the ability of any human or what is ever possible. I had an opposite upbringing with no one looking out for me and no guidance in spite of being someone who wanted it and wanted to be more. I was told I could never go to college and that made me give up on my dreams pretty early. I know people will think your upbringing reenforces how you view yourself and it does, but it’s good that you see all sides of it. I think alot of us know the feeling of whatever we do never being good enough. I think it can go a long way for those we need to hear it from to tell us not once, but as many times as we need to hear it and as many times as contridicts how many times we’ve heard it or told it to ourselves that it wasn’t true that we ARE good enough. That we have always been good enough and that we will always be more than good enough and more than what anyone could ever ask for and have always been. For any way that life made us reenforce the wrong things in each other that we are sorry and that we never meant for it not in others and not in ourselves. I guarantee that with people who actually care about us would want to take away whatever pain they caused if they could see it. If they could address their own. That it’s not part of their plans, but part of their faults and that’s something we have to know is something we have to deal with. For most people it is difficult to tell the people we need what we need to tell them or to be how we need to be or ever even see what that is, that includes what we need to be for ourselves, but if the people who should know the truth knew it, even if they couldn’t act on it, they would want to, just like you want to do for yourself and others. They would believe in those same things you would want to believe in because it’s all true. And you know, not only did you do the best that you could and not only was it better than anyone could probably ever hope for, but you are one of the best. Maybe you don’t see it, but everyone around you knows it. You should be told sometimes. Thankyou for your honesty, it helps to be able to listen to people being open. On the other side of things I’m 35 and my life completely stalled without ever really being able to do anything and just now I’m seeing how I can’t be much of anything I want to be and there are a whole different set of hardships waiting where all the other paths didn’t work where I don’t get to address my feelings but have to recognize that I wont be able to in times to come. In a way there is an advantage to seeing it ahead. There are always different sides to any set of circumstances and there is always a response that gets us closer to being happier and healthier. So there is a huge upshot of everything you went through and every direction your life has ever taken and same goes for anyone else who deals with a similar life. You will make it through and you will be grateful and thankful everyday for what you have once you have it if you’re not already. You have been through the biggest hardships and you have alot to show for it. Now you can process. Taking time to process is something all of us should be doing where we can. I’m sorry for all the text. Don’t really have an excuse. I talk too much. Every insight you had here is good. I think it can seem like telling ourselves the same thing we would say to people we love it’s like we are giving up or letting go. Know that the person that exists that needs that love always exists and that the person who exists who is strong and not letting go is not a different person. Vulnerability does not make you weak. I hope all this makes sense.
Everything you just said felt so personal. Thank you for opening up cause it's never really easy to do so...at least for me. It's a long journey and I'm also at the beginning getting help with depression and anxiety and me not liking who I am.
Everyone has a beginning ❤️
Everything you say I can relate to. Thank you for sharing. Love you & your honesty, Jenny ❤️
Thank you for supporting us Lisa 🥰
I resonate with you soooooo much about coming from a strict household. My mom once told me that I have to become better than all of my cousins. I would tell her about my academic struggles and instead of receiving some form of empathy from her, she COMPARED me to her friend's kids or to one of her cousin's kids. It made me feel like S*** I felt like I wasn't good enough to basically continue living 🥲😔I'm still not the best in school, but I've learned that I can't live my life trying to please everyone around me. I moved out of state for college and here I am today, a psychology major and pre-med minor. Yeah yeah, my mom wanted me to become a doctor but I've come to realize that I'm doing it for me. Its a passion of mine and I am hoping to pursue medicine in the near future. Not to be a Debbie downer, but you are replaceable at any time. So its okay to be selfish and love yourself. You'll be surprised by how much happier you are when you start doing things for you and putting yourself first.
I totally agree! We also give better to others when our glasses are full.
Greetings from a colleague from Greece. Your videos really touch me and especially this one hit too close to home! Just a little correction because words do matter and because us doctors are always striving to be better and it somehow results in collateral damage evidently. You finished this video with the phrase trying to be better, as in, you are now failing and there are points to improve in order to not keep failing. See how insidious the repetitive pattern can get?Of course there are things to be done to improve the quality of your life but right now being a mother, a wife, a doctor and having this financial burden that students loans are, you are doing more enough. You are doing what is possible. You already are doing better. I appreciate your courage to make videos like these, and I look up to you. Lots of love, a fellow pleaser
😱 you’re so right!! My words still speak my default feelings of failure. But it’s all a process and I’m ready to embrace the journey.
Jenny's Vlogmas absolutely helpful for my life:) then I am watching from japan,Japanese people and media doesn't tell these thisngs. like jenny teached us.A few days ago,you asked us a question,what do you think of Vlognas video?! me personaly think definitaly definitaly nice topics and video!!!! Send you Big Love jenny♡
p.s I have a cronical ill when i was junior hight,Now still sufferring it but family and other people never accepted about my ill.but I become a doctor like you that is my goal:)
Thank you so much for making this video! It helped me a lot. I’m also working on loving myself.
❤️❤️❤️ it’s nice to know that we’re not in this alone
I wanted to be a teacher since I was little not knowing which part of teaching I would go into. It wasn't until college after taking a few early ed classes that I realized this was where I wanted to do my teaching in, working with little preschoolers. I work for a big local school district in southern California where we live. It is scary right now with the virus so our whole district is closed with everything online for virtual learning and teaching. Currently full time parent while hubby works from home teaching online for the same school district as an early ed teacher while I am on hold with my job as in I have a job not penalized for not having an assignment since teachers aren't taking off. I had a few assignment here and there. It has been hard with my anxiety despite on medicine and talking to my therapist over the phone once a week with some depression that has flared up which I have never had before. I also got sick months ago last year in march right around the time when pandemic was spreading and after all the testing they said its not covid when I know for sure it was covid despite not having lost sense of smell or taste or any fever. I just had the whole body ache cough and possible lung closure. Recently my health has declined and when I did virtual visits and had myself evaluated they said my vitals are normal and I look normal. I was tested for so many other viruses including blood work nothing comes back to show that I have anything going on. So I have been home and the weird thing is when it was the first two weeks of me fully having all of the onset issues my husband never caught anything nor did my family at all who we saw and still see since we all home. I am not sure what to do at this point and I have good medical care including good insurance. With hospitals so overwhelmed and my husband says they will most likely turn me away as I look normal with no physical symptoms. I worry for my almost soon to be 3 year old toddler that he might grow up without a mom. I have no idea how I even caught this in the first place because back in March I remember before mask were a thing I would go to the markets because online it was hard to order at that time and this was beginning of march 16th when schools were closed up and people were asked to have everything for home. It wasn't so so spread yet as it was just the beginning of it. Not sure if it was from market or my allergy and asthma office I went to seeing my doctor for the last time before their office was only doing allergy shots and xolair treatment. Also, I know my toddler was sick from daycare that week of March 16th but it was a cold I think not really covid and won't know even today because he never got tested or needed testing for covid since it all went away. We did keep him home, pulling him out of daycare as we were both finding out we will be working from home and still to this day working from home so therefore we don't qualify for daycare since most are only taking if parents are working outside of their home. I love watching your videos. Would you do a video on is it safe to go to markets or answer this in a response comment to me? we only do curbside pick up or delivery but lately I find that certain items are not listed for pick up curbside or delivery and you have to go into the store to purchase. For instance target has a dollar and clearance section not listed on the app for curbside drive up pick up. Or if I want to order online or curbside for a store called home goods that has good selection on stuff plus frames cheaper then online and its not offered as you have to go into the store. Once and a while I want to feel human and go into a store early in the morning when its quiet to the ones where I can't get curbside pick up or order online like home goods that doesn't have a website to order.
Thank you so much for this video 🥰
Thanks for sharing your private and intimate thoughts and emotions! Wishing you the best! Sending you and your family lots of love 💕💕💕💕
Thank you Katherine 🥰
🙋🏻♀️I felt you were talking about me the whole video... I grew up with the expectations to be a doctor... I was always expected to be the number one ( academically) I even wasn't allowed to participate painting classes as they are not supporting my studying goals.. but all that pressure on me made me not myself at all then I didn't get the highest score to enter the medicine college and I ended up studying architecture and I discovered my self in architecture better... but I can't forget how disappointed were my parents to hear my grades and my grandma cried hard to hear that I can't enter the medicine school...your right you've just told me the reason why I can't love myself the way I love others...my husband always tell me you need to do things for your self.. but even though if he asks me to do sth that I know will help him or makes him happy.. I do it straight away even if it costs me to stay overnight and be exhausted...my main goal for 2021 is to love myself... thanks for your great information 😘😘😘😘
That is a great goal 👏🏽 we can do it!
It is so sad because I believe providers should be eligible for free counseling especially since what you do is constantly give, and especially especially during a pandemic... *sigh*
I am a first generation Vietnamese American and I relate with you so much. Thank you for sharing. I share with my mom about your story and it has open up many conversations that would not have otherwise happen, because mental health is so taboo in our culture.
Dr. Le, you are like my big sister I never had. I love the way you speak to us just as a human being, and not condescending as I have encountered with other providers. I empathize with your pain from your traumatic childhood and I hope you know that it is completely okay and understandable to feel the way you feel. I wish our parents were more supportive and not so competitive with other kids. Maybe it's also their own fears and insecurities projected onto the kids? For my family, maybe it's because of the hardships they endured in Vietnam and during the war, they just want better for their kids? Maybe us kids feel we are in debt of our parents' sacrifice and we have an obligation to fulfill our parents' academic dreams when they couldnt afford it themselves? It is very deep rooted and multi-dimensional.
For me, I can care less what college my provider goes to -- I just want someone who listens and cares because too many times that doesn't happen :/
We love you Dr. Le! *hugs*
oh! and my compliment to myself is I am proud that I left a toxic job recently and have higher standards for myself. took so much courage but I have hope in the future
I think mental health and healthcare in general should be easily accessible by everyone! But that’s a whole other discussion about how our health system sucks 😅 thank you for your support on here. I feel seen ❤️
I feel you💔 I can relate
Mums need to be kinder to ourselves. Being Asian is hardcore - lotsa expectations!!
So many!! Never smart or skinny or light skinned enough 😅
Yes, but don't let them define u. They'll just stress u out. YOU are unique
Hi Jenny thanks for sharing,feeling good enough is a daily choice..you have to fight the negative thoughts ..don't use I should..say I am..refocus..it's a consant struggle .you're doing great xo
I agree. I’ve learned that success and happiness is in the perspective.
Thank you for sharing from your heart. I didn't start nursing school until I was almost 33. My Dad died during my first week in school. I had 2 kids...a 7 year old and a 2 year old. I only worked for 8 years because it was too difficult emotionally and physically on me. Ended up going on disability years later. My emotions have been all over the place!
That is so hard. The mind is such a powerful organ and can great real physical manifestations. Hope you’re feeling better and on the road to healing ❤️
@@drjennale Thank you. It's been17 years since I left nursing. I was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years ago and still going through treatment. Now my thyroid seems to be misbehaving. Thank you for being so open in your videos! 💕
Your good enough we all love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Tamia 😭
Thank you for this video Jenny
Thank you Jennifer posting I definitely Can’t relate with you. Thank you so much for sharing. You’re the best. Joanne RN FNP
thank you for your videos!!!!!
Thank you for watching 🥰
Wow Jenny we are so similar in how we view ourselves. I never feel good enough or always people please. Your crying because your allowing yourself to vulnerable to us all. Thank you for sharing this with us all. If you ever need a friend send me a message on Instagram. I will always reply to you. I'm having tests regarding my ankles and breathing my BP was high so I may need meds for that. I also may need to see a cardiologist to see if they can help me. Xx
I've been feeling like this lately. Its hard to get out of these emotions when you don't know where to start. I have people who love and care about me but I just push them away even though I really don't want to. I feel like they can't help but I know that they can. Im not sure how to get out of it or how to deal with it. I feel a little better now. But now that I found out that I got cover I feel back into depression and staying in a room alone is what I wanted but honestly its so sad for me because I know its bad for me to lay in bed all day :/
anyways I get it and thank you for this video.... we always think we are alone but we aren't alone.
We are in this together ❤️
@@drjennale yes yes we are ❤️❤️
I definitely resonated to what you said and recommend ACA. Adult children of alcoholic parents/dysfunctional families. You don't need to have parents who have addictions to have an unhealthy environment and it's often confusing because there are times they are loving or their intentions may be good but nonetheless impacts us negatively.
I’ll have to check that out! My patients would benefit from this too!! Thanks for sharing
@@drjennale It's similiar to Alcoholic Anonymous/NA/OA fellowships. You attend meetings(tons of zoom ones now due to COVID) and help each other out.
Hi Jenny, I have been following your channel for a while and as a vietnamese woman( just moved to the US 2 years ago) so I totally understand what you are talking about. Unfortunately, I sometimes see myself treating my 8 years old just like the way my mom( parents ) treated me when I was younger( don't take me wrong, I love my parents a lot) but I was shocked sometimes with my own behaviors. I feel so bad and I will really try to change that 😔. Also, I am a bit worried for you since I see that you clearly have a lot in your mind these days. Anyway, just want to say 👋 since this is the 1st time I comment in your video !!!😊
I’ve been struggling for a while. During Wyatt’s pregnancy I had really bad postpartum depression. I do fell happier now in my 30’s than I did in my 20’s.
I feel a lot like you. I would still look for free counseling. Hope you’re able to work through your emotions and past.
If I find anything, I will let you know!
That what college for to find yourself and what you love and major in.
Wow...since I’ve watched your channel I’ve gone from thinking Dr’s we're arrogant a$$ holes to the most fascinating people who make tremendous sacrifices to learn to help people...to this video that shows Dr’s are Real people with insecurities just like the rest of us. Totally understand the weak boundaries thing. Personally, I have recently had to admit to myself that while my friends think I have it all figured out, the truth is I'm an enabling doormat who will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. Also surprised to learn that healthcare is sometimes unaffordable for even Dr’s!! One book that has helped me is ” The subtle art of not giving a F*ck” by Mark Mason. He really helped me not worry so much about what others think of me because the reality is they don't think of me nearly as much as I think they do. I’ve gone back to school at 58. At first I was so concerned about what people thought of my career change..thinking it was beneath me. The opposite has been true. People have been so supportive and some admiring me for having the courage to make a change. Thanks for posting it's a reality check that Dr’s are people too. ❤️
I have read that book!! Love it! I’m glad I am about to portray a different image of physicians 👩🏻⚕️❤️
On days when I feel like there's no one I can talk to/share my feelings... Atleast I'll always have this video to watch & tell myself that I'm not alone...
❤️ hang in there
@@drjennale Yess! Thank you ♡
Jenny, I could have written this! Thank you for sharing. There is a course on Coursera called "the science of wellbeing" that has helped me a lot. It actually is a lot like your advice during vlogmas.
I think I signed up for a free a Coursera course but never followed through 😅 gotta check my old emails
🙋🏻♀️ most definitely I've felt all these things but i also grew up with very loving parents so not sure where this negative self-talk comes from
We need counselors to ask us the right questions! The answer is always within.
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Just wanna drop my thoughts here... I feel like everyone I know is moving forward in life except me... Infact I feel like I'm losing my battery to do anything that I'm supposed to do... Never felt SO LOST in life... I don't know whom to talk to or discuss about my current situation. I'm old enough to not to care about other people's opinion on me falling down/ failing... But I'm so worried about embarrassing my younger self...the girl with determination and dreams. I miss my old self and I feel so sorry for my younger self... Idk how to pick myself up... It's getting harder by each passing day ...
Starting again or starting in general can be the hardest part of any journey. But that’s the thing, we have to choose to continue the journey. You can choose and ask for help when you need it.
I didn't think you'll actually see this 😭... But I was hoping to receive some encouraging words from you Jenny ❤️ I always get energy from your vlogs... Thank you for replying... 😭 It means a lot to me 😭❤️Love you!!
I haven’t made a video in a while. I film and then I can’t muster up the energy to edit. So I can totally relate to this feeling of being stuck, wanting and knowing what I have to do, but feeling paralyzed in starting the task itself. We take the time to fill our cup but ultimately it is only us who can live our lives for us.
I read all my comments. You have a friend here ❤️
Yep... The truth... Thank you 😊... All your replies are very special for me❤️... So grateful for your friendship and all your comforting & encouraging vlogs ❤️
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for listening 🥰
thanks for sharing - my biological father left me before I was born, yet when I did get into contact with him, nothing was good enough for him, I got a full ride to my state school and he was like "what about yale or Harvard?" I ended up cutting him out of my life and am now in med school
I am so sorry for you loss. Not all loss ends with death. I also am so proud of your for your bravery! It takes a strong individual to cut out negativity from your life
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🙋🏻♀️ definitely going through undergrad and while I was in a bad relationship
My one regret from undergrad was staying with a guy who didn’t love me and cheated. I feel you.
@@drjennale
@@RainnWater I couple patients have actually requested me to be their primary physician because they found me through social media. As long as we understand what we put out on the internet is forever and we carry ourselves in a way that is true to our values - I don’t see it as a problem.
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I love you 😍
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Love 💘, so much and hope everything is going well for you and God bless you and stay safe and healthy. Love 💘, 💘
Thank you Matthew 🙏🏼❤️
@@drjennale you are so welcome and God bless you and stay safe and healthy. Love 💘, 💘
Would you mind to make a video dedicated to podcasts, audiobooks and other resources you would recommend for “ self” counseling. I think there are a lot of people who cannot afford professional help.
Thank you!!!
Great video!!
Yes!! Check back tomorrow. I’m going to work on the list and put it in the description box!
You are so beautiful to be sad
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While listening to you I wondered that your biggest problem is your willingness to please your parents and meet all their requirements, even if they overwhelm you. Now in your adult life you are still looking for love and acceptance from your parents, but they still have high expectations.
Forget about your parents' love and acceptance
and focus about love from the husband and children. They're more important than your parents.
Now you feel this way and you are struggling with these emotions, precisely because you are looking for acceptance from your parents where it is not and will never be found.
Even when you say that everything is fine with you, you already deal with the past and don't blame your parents, you still cried in this movie about 3 times and holding tears for all this video.
You parents raised you to have high IQ and have a lot of success but unfortunately they forgot to focus on your emotional intelligence (EQ). If you are afraid that you will become the same mother to your children as your mother was to you. It is important to ensure that your children have developed emotional intelligence, let them talk about their own emotions, feelings and needs.
Look for positivepsychology.com/blog and you'll a lot of resources how to develop it!
The reason behind self loathing is a bad parent. Google it.
My parents did the best that they could. I see now that the things they did were out of love just had negative effects. That’s why everyone would benefit from therapy! We’re all bad parents at some point.
Jenny I've heard about betterhelp recently & they offer financial aid to cover their services. I haven't used it but a lot of the youtuber I follow mention it in videos & have discount codes as well. I also know a manifestation coach on ig (manifestwithmaia) and the guidance she provide is great!
Thanks!! I’ll have to check those out
Sounds like there is a lot to unpack there and books won’t cut it. Personal one on one conversation is probably the only thing that can work. Your inner child never got affirmation that it’s ok to be authentically average or silly or playful or even pretty and fat. Yes there’s nothing new under the sun that someone else hasn’t already put out but your personality combined with your experiences are what make you valuable to the world. As dramatic as that sounds, you know from the TH-cam analytics that you have people watching from all over the world. You have over 100k subscribers. Think about that number. That’s a lot of people. Don’t compare to those who have more. Just think about each person who watched your video and said “wow I really like her, I want to stay updated on what she’s doing”. That’s more than the whole student body at UC San Diego. Imagine your entire campus filling up an auditorium to hear you speak. 🤯 when you see a patient who is having psychosis from hyperglycemia due to uncontrolled diabetes, you’re not going to say “why can’t you just not be diabetic”. You work with that patient based on their needs and abilities so that they live as long as THEY can. Not how long the patient in the next room but what they can do. I think you’re doing great but do need to let a lot of stuff out. Sounds like you and your mom need to have a good cry together. Maybe she needs to cry too. ❤️
I agree. The first thing I’m doing when I get my bonus is a session with a therapist. My mom and I have a good relationship now. I talk to her on FaceTime regularly and no real hard feelings towards her. So that’s why I’m a little confused why I get so upset when talking about my childhood, but I guess that’s what a therapist will help me figure out.
@@drjennale you deserve it!
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You are a family medicine DO physician. Not MD
True statement. And just as qualified. Thanks for pointing that out 💪🏽👩🏻⚕️ #proudDO
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