Valet Guys: 3:34 Turducken: 6:20 Valet Parking: 8:51 Jay-Z Rapping: 11:00 Beyonce: 12:43 "Famous": 14:39 Tom Cruise: 18:41 Rob Delaney Ghost Protocol: 20:14 Tom Cruise Scientologist: 22:20 ADS: 26:15 Girls Like Things: 31:26 6 Year Old Chris D'Elia: 37:40 Chris Being A Scientologist/ Car Accidents: 40:10 Chris's Buddy Mike/Turtlenecks: 48:26 Tom Cruise Scientology Interviewer/Stuttering: 51:39 / 52:49 Long Island Missed Connections: 57:50
Well, an iced americano is as hard as it gets dude. So maybe some babies aren’t ready to take it on. Is that ok? Yes. Will we learn from this experience? Yes.
Bro he doesn't even look coked out...have you ever seen a coke addict? A guy that looks like a coke head, is Chris Farley, or Sean Penn back in the day. Coke heads tend to have a sweaty face, and they tend to also look like their face is pointed like everything is scrunched up towards their nose.
Next time they tell you where to park, just say, " I shitted in my pants." And then they will realize how young you are and that you clearly did not need assistance to help park your car.
he's talked awhile ago about how he used to be a partyboy who didn't want kids bc dadlife is lamelife, but now he's in his late 30s, so many of his friends have kids, and are still coolbois, and he's like... "oh, it wouldn't have been so bad... now i'm lonely and childless. fun." then he wrote a bit about parking.
@@patrickparadis9038 Yeah, not sure what your or his definition of "partyboy" is, but he don't and never drank or drugged, so maybe just he went to parties...
Did the same happen to me? Yes. Did I take precautionary steps to ensure I don't miss one again? No. Did you know if you flick your nipples and wait three seconds they will get hard? S'maybe. Did daddy authorize Hollywood to use a clip of him holding his penis? No. S'free cunsh? Yes. Fuck me baby.
I actually got in a car accident while listening to this episode on my way to work today. The most upsetting part about it, is Chris didn’t show up with any coffee
no, and you wanna know why? CUZ ITS NOT BEING BUILT. AND THATS OKAY BECAUSE IF IT WAS ACTUALLY BEING BUILT THEN WE WOULD HAVE TO NOT BE FANS OF CHRIS ANYMORE...
@@stevebowers8599 definitely not the one who needs to be turning round here. The log cabin will never be built and that's how it needs to be... Otherwise oh no...
Yo, I'm Armenian. That bit about Armenians is soooooo funny and spot on. I grew up in L.A. and played in an Armenian Basketball League. The Armenian Basketball League is where Armenians from different suburbs of Los Angeles play against each other. La Canada/La Crecenta, Hollywood, The SFV, Pasadena, Glendale, Orange County, and more each have their own team and we play against each other based on skill level and age. I played for the Pasadena team and there was a guy on my team named David and he was always shy and soft spoken and I would only see him at practice. But one day we had a semi-formal team dinner to build camaraderie and when I got to the restaurant this guy (David) was wearing a head to toe Scarface outfit. He straight up had pants, not sweatpants, button up slacks with a picture of Tony Montana all across the left leg. Holy shit!! AND this guy had a shirt , not a t-shirt mind you but a fully button up oxford type shirt with, AGAIN, Tony Montana's face across the front of the button up. DOUBLE TONY MONTANA. so I asked him, "That's a cool outfit, man. Where did you get it from?" He answers, "I had it made!" I shit you not!
Brock Aho I’ve thought that too. Idk where I stand on that. Louis ck would say to just say it. I also wonder if black people know how much white people say it.
Man, these podcasts can get real slow at times; sometimes hours go by without anything funny at all, but gems like this are what makes watching all of them worth it. Such a great podcast even though most of them seem quite unplanned - that's prolly what makes the good ones so good though...
Was I listening to Congratulations Podcast episode 3 when I got notified about Episode 124? Yes. Did it take me immediately out of Chris complaining about the dumbasses that went to Fyre Festival? Yes. Will I go back and listen to the rest of that? No. Is that okay? Yes because I'm pretty much a baby now. Is that cool? Depends on who y'ask.
I was just driving through LA.. I looked to my left and all i saw was a massive crowd of people sprinting down the street like they were chasing something. So I blew through the red light and sped down the street to see what they were chasing and what i saw was the most annoying thing.. A low budget movie crew causing so much commosion. I ended up getting someones attention by whistling with my window down and asked him what was going on and he said that they were in the middle of shooting a live scene of how chris delias shoulders looked while he was running. I said "oh i think ive heard of him. Hes the guy in the 🤔uuuhh nvm i forget🤔.. Anyways, why would they look different while hes running and whats with the shitty cameras?" He said "idk man, i barely know who chris delia is either but what i do know is that he said that he loves how his shoulders dont jiggle when he runs." I said "really thats it?" He said "ya." I said "well what about the shitty cameras?" .. He said "listen man no one really knows who this guys is and were filming a movie about his shoulders.. No ones gonna see it anyways" -- ??? Most annoying True story, ever.
You ever hear of paraphrasing? Wrap your make believe story up. The LONG version off your story is "I recently saw a movie crew in L.A. filming something. I was inquisitive, so I approached the scene and saw them shooting the Chris D'Elia 'Ba-Boom' shoulders documentary." The end.
![[#2024MAMA] G-DRAGON - 무제(Untitled, 2014)+POWER+HOME SWEET HOME+뱅뱅뱅+FANTASTIC BABY | Mnet 241123 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ox29z5Nf1Uk/mqdefault.jpg)
Valet Guys: 3:34
Turducken: 6:20
Valet Parking: 8:51
Jay-Z Rapping: 11:00
Beyonce: 12:43
"Famous": 14:39
Tom Cruise: 18:41
Rob Delaney Ghost Protocol: 20:14
Tom Cruise Scientologist: 22:20
ADS: 26:15
Girls Like Things: 31:26
6 Year Old Chris D'Elia: 37:40
Chris Being A Scientologist/ Car Accidents: 40:10
Chris's Buddy Mike/Turtlenecks: 48:26
Tom Cruise Scientology Interviewer/Stuttering: 51:39 / 52:49
Long Island Missed Connections: 57:50
Ur a beauty
Will 56:29 point is don’t move his car when you’re a valet guy
Mr. Steve Barber lol, he was on and off with valet this whole podcast
Do you do this for all his poddys?
You're a gem
I had my first iced americano from Starbucks the other day and got diarrhea for two days baby
Gotta work them Kegels bro
@@herbyvonderby1849 🤣🤣🤣🤣
We lit
Well, an iced americano is as hard as it gets dude. So maybe some babies aren’t ready to take it on. Is that ok? Yes. Will we learn from this experience? Yes.
You had a sweet tart tartin' ass
Chris D’Elia: the most coked-out looking sober guy in the world
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bro he doesn't even look coked out...have you ever seen a coke addict? A guy that looks like a coke head, is Chris Farley, or Sean Penn back in the day. Coke heads tend to have a sweaty face, and they tend to also look like their face is pointed like everything is scrunched up towards their nose.
That Starbucks Scientology bit had me crying 😂 So funny
totes funny! 🤣
Savanna Cox I’m gonna go get you guys a couple of Venti Americanos...my version...never come back. S’cock.
@@jeepz669 Firstly dont say "totes" you say the whole thing, either you say totally or ya dont. Also your name. heh change it.
islanti he’s a true baby
Wade Williams get your own sense of humor bud
Regular people at 90: I’m old
Chris d’elicious at 90: I’m so young. Probably the youngest
Scientology: When your cult leader joins a different, bigger cult.
doge fm fer sure
S'merger
doge fm lol you keep saying that but it's called a TurduckEN not "turkducking" don't forget the chicken put some respect on the proper name 😤
Haha! This comment is great 😂
Smashed the Jay Z impression too
Turducken in the parkin lot 🤘
Next time they tell you where to park, just say, " I shitted in my pants." And then they will realize how young you are and that you clearly did not need assistance to help park your car.
"I don't know if there is anybody younger than me..."
🤣🤣
When I heard this I thought he was pretending to be Trump. "No one is younger or, and many people are saying, more youthful than me."
De'lusionsal, much?
RIP Billy Conforto.. Never forget
"IF YOU WANTED COFFEE WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?!" 😂😂😂
People say trick you like that tho, my boss said that to me one time 😂😂
"THAT DOESN'T HELP TURTLES!!"
Can't stop laughing at the image of you yelling "can I take your order!?" At people on the side of the road 😂😂
*3 episodes in a row Chris talks about his age*
Eeeh
Eeeeehh
S’insecure
he's talked awhile ago about how he used to be a partyboy who didn't want kids bc dadlife is lamelife, but now he's in his late 30s, so many of his friends have kids, and are still coolbois, and he's like... "oh, it wouldn't have been so bad... now i'm lonely and childless. fun."
then he wrote a bit about parking.
Michael Chimenti 😅😅😅
@@patrickparadis9038 Yeah, not sure what your or his definition of "partyboy" is, but he don't and never drank or drugged, so maybe just he went to parties...
Novus1222 going to parties would make u a partyboy yes..
40 scares men like daddy.
1 hour wait in the airport and D'Elia drops a hot pod. Thanks Lorde.
Jack Gleeson Lucky! Enjoy it! 🤜
We can never be roooooyals
52:50 Kings speech. Also the birth of LIFE RIPS
Am I a bit disappointed that TH-cam didn’t notify me? Yes.
Am I still a baby? Yes.
Did I click the mfkn notification bell on and off again? YES
s'cringe
but u forgot to turn it back on again..
Did the same happen to me? Yes.
Did I take precautionary steps to ensure I don't miss one again? No.
Did you know if you flick your nipples and wait three seconds they will get hard? S'maybe.
Did daddy authorize Hollywood to use a clip of him holding his penis? No.
S'free cunsh? Yes.
Fuck me baby.
You're a fukn lop
@@issafacelift this nigga said "s'maybe" smh
Chris saying someone else looks like a serial killer. The irony 😂
It feels so nice seeing our leader on tuesday again! Relief babies! I'm excited!!!
if I see someone in a fender bender I go like this CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER
Could not stop laughing with the coffee bit.
By the time I got back they were gone.
I watched this entire episode in a valet parking garage.
I'm still waiting on my car...
This episode material was a one-hour bit. Start to finish. #baby
Anyone else rewarching these wishing he never got canceled
First time watching Chris’s podcast, funniest thing I’ve ever seen!
Welcome to our cult!!!
Heard whiteblasian and spit my turkey sandwich out laughing.
I actually got in a car accident while listening to this episode on my way to work today. The most upsetting part about it, is Chris didn’t show up with any coffee
@1:04:23 "Cash App is brought to you by Congratulations." 😂
Is cash app brought to you by Congratulations? Yes
Chris D’Elia’s imagination is one of a kind, the whole Tom Cruise bit 😂 love your podcast Chris!
i feel like Chris would be the most fun friend to have doing pretty much whatever, he would make it funny
Can we please talk about how we’re gonna build the log cabin?
no, and you wanna know why?
CUZ ITS NOT BEING BUILT.
AND THATS OKAY BECAUSE IF IT WAS ACTUALLY BEING BUILT THEN WE WOULD HAVE TO NOT BE FANS OF CHRIS ANYMORE...
DrewSki Entertainment turn ‘round
@@stevebowers8599 definitely not the one who needs to be turning round here. The log cabin will never be built and that's how it needs to be... Otherwise oh no...
Some of you sound like anti-babies. Like adults. We need to build it.
Youre waaay too confident for someone whos constantly spilling his drink.
Jay Mercer dude what are doing, his confidence is house of cards, don’t blow wind like that :)
Jay Mercer LOL
This was pure fire from the get go. Keep it up skinny leggy.
I love how in his element Chris is now in these podcasts 😂
He should be like this on stage too
Miscavige would never let you meet Zenu because you spill your La Croix too much...
That Scientology bit was incredible!!!!! Best bit on all 124 episodes, and that is saying a lot.
Juan, you already know you gotta clip an unedited version of that scientologist bit.
EDIT: It starts at about 40:10
there needs to be an animation for this lmaoo
this is my absolute favorite episode of congratulations.
AAAaaand most disrespectful use of Harriet Tubman's name ever hahahaha love you dude
chris delia + the scientology youtube video is GOLD
Last 30 minutes Of this episode had me in tears multiple times.
I’ve come back to this video to watch the Scientology/car accident bit so many times and I cry laughing- Every. Single. Time.
23:43 *SPILLY GOOSE TIME*
Had to revisit this episode. The coffee bit makes me laugh my god damn ass off
You know what guys love?: “idunno. whatever?”
You know what girls love?: things.
Kyle McClanahan lmao he said it right when I read this, the cult leader is always so wise!
The thumbnail for this just makes it even more perfect.
Holy shit that tom Cruz bit had me dying
Someone needs to animate the Scientologist Starbucks Hero Bit. Holy fuck I'm crying.
I drank the coffee myself...😂😂
Was having a shitty day and then I decided to watch this. My day got much better, man. Thank you
That jay impression 😂😂😂 suprised me
Bringin' a silly goose time once again! Turduckin style! Whoop whoop!
First 5 seconds are the Trailer of "Man Checking Out The Bulge"
You're killing me. My wife kicked me out of bed because I was laughing so hard.
That voice crack at 27:25 made me cry with laughter for some reason
It's probably cause it makes him sound dead serious when it's such a boring normal thing to talk about
Yo, I'm Armenian. That bit about Armenians is soooooo funny and spot on. I grew up in L.A. and played in an Armenian Basketball League. The Armenian Basketball League is where Armenians from different suburbs of Los Angeles play against each other. La Canada/La Crecenta, Hollywood, The SFV, Pasadena, Glendale, Orange County, and more each have their own team and we play against each other based on skill level and age. I played for the Pasadena team and there was a guy on my team named David and he was always shy and soft spoken and I would only see him at practice. But one day we had a semi-formal team dinner to build camaraderie and when I got to the restaurant this guy (David) was wearing a head to toe Scarface outfit. He straight up had pants, not sweatpants, button up slacks with a picture of Tony Montana all across the left leg. Holy shit!! AND this guy had a shirt , not a t-shirt mind you but a fully button up oxford type shirt with, AGAIN, Tony Montana's face across the front of the button up. DOUBLE TONY MONTANA. so I asked him, "That's a cool outfit, man. Where did you get it from?" He answers, "I had it made!" I shit you not!
I hope I get into a fender bender around Chris sometime 😆
creepergirlnextdoor especially if you need a caffeine hit
46:02 I thought I would never say this, but there is some great editing happening in this episode.
“I Harriet Tubman and I go under”
The coffee bit might be the best bit I've heard on the podcast to this day. Dang.
Chris should play keanu's brother in a movie. S'makeithappen
He could play Sean Wick.
This guy is literally the best. Fave podcast
Chris for sure drops the big N when he’s alone in his car.
Brock Aho I’ve thought that too. Idk where I stand on that. Louis ck would say to just say it. I also wonder if black people know how much white people say it.
Let's be honest with ourselves, EVERYONE does.
sfuture08 lol I actually don’t much but I think I’m gonna start
calculating infinity cause it’s one of the best words
OP i also thought that 😂😂😂 i think he just cant say it on yt or hed be demonitized or sth but you bet your ass irl he doesnt gaf hahahaa
As a black man I'm giving Chris permission to say the word nigga. This guy understands how it works.
Daddy learning the scientology lingo for the future log cabin
This is the best episode of congratulations BY FAR
44:20 funniest shit I've seen in a minute lmao
Man, these podcasts can get real slow at times; sometimes hours go by without anything funny at all, but gems like this are what makes watching all of them worth it.
Such a great podcast even though most of them seem quite unplanned - that's prolly what makes the good ones so good though...
“Check the bag, because there’s Chapstick, because it’s a thing!” 😂
I legit almost pissed myself when he started playing the mission impossible theme in Starbucks. “Close up shots of the Frappuccino” dude holy shit
You know I'm going to work tomorrow and just letting my face rip with zero dheeeennnntsss
My babies this podcast is free and clear
I'm a Valet, and I agree
Maaaaan need the podcast back
#FreeDelia
Chris: I wont park where they tell me too. Also chris: my car is in a different spot when I get back! L000l
girls love things had me dying of laughter, i came here for a good time and am honestly feeling very attacked rn
I love things and chachkis. I have so many things. Also, I wear flip up sunglasses, so Chris is right.
Thats why we love it.....CRAY!!!
You should play Rick in a live action Rick n Morty... you'd nail it.
He's way too young
Was excited for what he was gonna say for the second thing when he was talking about the interviewer
You should see the news about the guy who secretly lived in a family’s attic
I come back to this video on sad days just to watch D'Elia say "can I take your order" to the imaginary fender bender victims
One of his greatest bits
Who's here in 2021 missing this goofball with me?!
“Do you think _anyone else_ would’ve stopped?” Yea Chris, I do. Tom Cruise would’ve stopped.
Watching this in a hospital curled up on my side with an IV. Hope Damien Monroe will lighten my mood
Hope you're feeling better, man!
*fender bender happens*
Chris: can I take your order?
Was I listening to Congratulations Podcast episode 3 when I got notified about Episode 124? Yes. Did it take me immediately out of Chris complaining about the dumbasses that went to Fyre Festival? Yes. Will I go back and listen to the rest of that? No. Is that okay? Yes because I'm pretty much a baby now. Is that cool? Depends on who y'ask.
i highly recommend going back and checking out ep thirty something, "The comfy matrix" if ya haven't
TheDarkEnergist boy that was a rollercoaster of a comment, i wasnt exactly sure where i was gonna end up on that one
@@gabrielmaisonet7485 I'm listening to all of them, I don't even need them to be relevant anymore, they're just all hilarious.
@@C_The_Guy Wherever we go, there's gonna be fuckin' n' suckin'!
CRYING at the Starbucks Scientology bit hahahaha thats it babies
Turduckin in a parkin lot
Heh
44:23 I've never seen him break so hard like that, he really tried not to 😂😂
Next guests should be will sasso and bryan callen and thats obvious.
Jack jack yeah he always has guests on. Good call.
@@myeratv4539 kay
Long Island missed connections yesss from here this is so great
i was hoping he'd address the "ph" in Memphis after the "k" in Knoxville.
Hey Memphis - use an F
10:57 His Jay Z impressions always kill me
I tried your turducken recipe for thanksgiving and my family is furious/starving
Chris, when are coming to Connecticut? Huge fan of both you and Scientology...
I was just driving through LA.. I looked to my left and all i saw was a massive crowd of people sprinting down the street like they were chasing something. So I blew through the red light and sped down the street to see what they were chasing and what i saw was the most annoying thing.. A low budget movie crew causing so much commosion. I ended up getting someones attention by whistling with my window down and asked him what was going on and he said that they were in the middle of shooting a live scene of how chris delias shoulders looked while he was running. I said "oh i think ive heard of him. Hes the guy in the 🤔uuuhh nvm i forget🤔.. Anyways, why would they look different while hes running and whats with the shitty cameras?" He said "idk man, i barely know who chris delia is either but what i do know is that he said that he loves how his shoulders dont jiggle when he runs." I said "really thats it?" He said "ya." I said "well what about the shitty cameras?" .. He said "listen man no one really knows who this guys is and were filming a movie about his shoulders.. No ones gonna see it anyways" -- ??? Most annoying True story, ever.
Jeff Barney I am from the future (said in a sexy robotic voice) and I can confirm this is a true story
You ever hear of paraphrasing? Wrap your make believe story up.
The LONG version off your story is "I recently saw a movie crew in L.A. filming something. I was inquisitive, so I approached the scene and saw them shooting the Chris D'Elia 'Ba-Boom' shoulders documentary."
The end.
@@MattJameson7 lol bro.. "Most annoying true story, ever".. Get it?
@@nixon0four i didn't see that. If you thought I actually read your novel of a post, you're out of your mind.
Matt Jameson you spent more time reading the reply and posting comments than it would have taken to read the initial post...ehhh...
“makin’ turducken in a parkin’ lot, HOV!” always makes me laugh, lmao
Also, Jay-Z is the best rapper of all time. This is a fact. If anyone wants to try to dispute this, feel free, I _love_ to debate this point.
The BAG unit... 💰
The editing a little bit into the bit at 53:05 is some grade A video podcast exclusive content.