The not giving the kids shoes in public is borderline negligent to me. In your own backyard is one thing, but they literally acknowledged the baby could step on glass and that’s ok? What if the cut gets infected and they don’t believe in modern medicine either. Maybe I’m overreacting, but we have shoes and modern medicine for a reason
honestly. and there's so many bugs and bacteria that they can be stepping on in the backyard alone, not even thinking about all the different things on the ground in public. children get cuts its normal but if they step on something and get bacteria and other things in that cut from not wearing shoes it can get really bad depending on what they step on and how deep the cut is. i'm not a parent but i wouldnt want to risk anything like that.
The not being able to hold a job thing is for real in my experience. I had a friend through grade school into college who had no discipline or responsibility from her parents. She was allowed to do whatever, whenever. The result? Jobs feel like torture to her, as did school. She went from never having to do anything to being expected to be an adult. She nearly flunked out of art school and was fired or quit many jobs because the employers were "mean". They weren't mean. I worked with her once, and a mutual friend another time. They simply asked her to work, and did so politely most of the time. She would spend half her shifts dragging her feet or hiding in the bathroom. Kids need structure to be functional adults!
That’s the part that gets me, even if I think “man the whole adult part of life is filled with all kinds of stupid things that don’t make sense” you still have to be able to function in it to live a decent life.
I used to be like that and had this upbringing. An important thing to add is that it bled into my parenting. I had to do the right thing eventually and change. It’s hard ever day and now I’m learning to discipline myself and my child with help from supportive family for the kids. I want to break the wheel. It’s sad it took so long. I’m 30 now, so it’s time to buckle up or stfu.
Free-range parenting might be a few notches worse than my hands-off one, but it certainly messes up everything. I just can't hold any routine for any good reason, except for my pets well-being ones. Won't blame my parents though, they where just young adults during the 70s...
Yes! Also I don’t think this is going back to the basics or how it used to be! Kids were treated like tiny adults and expected to work dangerous jobs I until the 20th century!
I have an issue with this lady not teaching her children to read and write at a young age. The longer you wait to teach kids that stuff, the more difficult it is for the child to learn. Decisions made in ignorance yield more ignorance.
@@mayday24 fascinating, I'd like to see that study if you would be so kind as to provide it. Namely since it runs counter-intuitive to my own personal experience, anecdotal as it might be. Given how the language centers of the brain start forming from birth, and some argue pre-natally as well, I find it hard to believe that exposure to reading as early as possible can be a waste of time. I'm interested to see how the researchers came up with their thresholds of when a child can and cannot comprehend certain things. According to what you're claiming, it would be pointless to teach children to read before the 3rd grade, in the US, which clearly isn't the case.
That plus it’s child abuse. They’re willingly denying their children access to available modern medicine, education and teaching them independence. Any mother who continues to let their child breastfeed past the age of 3ish is doing so for her own selfish and sick psychological needs. Your child will continue to crave what they’re used to, and it’s your job to introduce solid foods and wean them off the breast. Absolutely all mammals know to do this, because it’s in the child and the mother’s best interest overall. It’s just as sick as mothers who use their adult children as replacements for adult romantic relationships. See Debbie and Coltee or all the families on Smothered for example.
I was heavily sheltered as a kid, and was not allowed to leave the house until I was 16. I understand overprotective parents are that way because of love, but there needs to be a limit. I'm 25 now, got my own personal bubble finally, and I've broken out of my shell. I just envy adults my age who had adventurous childhoods with all their friends.
Edit: sorry to vent Same, i wasn't allowed to climb trees (I understand falling but still adventure), very little help with homework (when i did it ended in yelling and fights) so I was constantly doing homework, and I had to give about a week notice if I wanted to go to a friend's house (I understand not wanting to drop everything but damn), constantly had someone watching/hovering (so every error was punished). Because of all this I only went to my grandparents on the weekends and didn't have friends for a good chunk of my childhood. Now that I'm in my early 20s I am very socially awkward, don't have any friends (that i talk to more than once a year) have anxiety when I leave the house, feel like I missed out on so many childhood achievements/milestones/experiences that I will never get, i constantly feel like im being watched (by person or camera) and probably more that I can't think of rn. I understand it's out of love and to teach discipline, but in reality it teaches manipulation (how to get out of trouble), who's footsteps are who's, to not trust people and so much more.
We are in the same boat.😭 I'm 25 and was waayyyy late in the game for anything. Have a ton of regret for stuff that wasn't even really my fault. :( [not doing things like everybody else was]
Also in the same boat so I let my 3 kids do everything and learn for themselves -- however, I wish I would have pushed some strictness with homework and chores more cuz I now have fairly lazy teenagers. Always the answer is a happy medium.
My parents were extremely religious and thought any form of having fun was a sin. The only socializing I was allowed was in Boy Scouts, church, and sports.
I think there's a balance to be found - it's great to show the child how to respect nature, how to grow their own food - but don't deprive them of general literacy and societal function
Buff saying that you shouldn’t make each generation start over is so accurate. I love when older generations are like “younger folks have it easier” like … yes is that not the point to make our kids lives easier than ours was??
I had a very lax childhood. Was never told when to shower/brush teeth, didn’t have a bed time, no homework help… it was hard as a kid to remember to do all that stuff and confusing as to why I didnt receive the same structure as my friends. and it translated into a very hard young adulthood. I had to go to counseling to learn how to take care of myself, set a routine, deal with the normality of a “boring” day where I can’t just stop doing something I don’t enjoy. I hope these kids don’t go through the same pain I did. Even if the parents mean well, they can still mess up horribly.
I agree children like structure and need to be taught to care for their bodies.i feel better when I brush my teeth shower and live in a clean environment so u know children do too but they need to be told and helped along. My mom didn't help me with my clothes or hair or anything and I felt later like oh she didn't care about me or how I looked or if my hair was clean. Maybe as a child I didn't realize it but getting older I felt very much less then my friends who parents helped them and cared for them in a more structured hands on way.
I have worked with kids that have "trouble concentrating" and most of them just haven't been taught to do things they don't want to do. I think giving children structure and age appropriate chores (with age appropriate rewards too of course) it's essential if you want kids to be successful in this education system. It's all about balance really, but learning early that sometimes you have to just do things you find boring or tedious for a propuse is very important. Yes, it sucks the education system is like it is, it sucks life is like it is, but you can't change that and is every parent responsability to give the child the tools to be as successful as possible
I think children having too little or too much restrictions can cause a lot of issues/anxiety. On the opposite end, my parents shielded me from too much and didn't give me the opportunity to learn to accept mistakes or failure, which has caused issues as an adult. I think it's gotta be somewhere in the middle.
There was a time when disease was so out of control that parents didn't even name their kids until a certain age because they didn't want to become too attached in case the kid died. Ken is right, "modern medicine exist for a reason."
@@Cassxowary I also agree with this, there’s a ton of unnecessary bad medicine but as long as you do your research before putting this stuff in your body you’ll be fine.
No that’s a great point Ken. As a Christian, growing up in a Christian family, my parents believed that you can’t just “pray” your sickness away. God gave us people with medical gifts that allows us to stay healthy. Pisses me off when people say “all you need is faith”.
A previous pastor of mine worked as a chaplain in a hospital and there was this woman he knew that had cancer who was like that. She would pray to God and say that he would heal her without chemotherapy. She later passed away with that idea Edit: corrected misspelling
so glad you said that. i’m also Christian, raised in a Christian home, and it frustrates me so much when i hear people say “just pray more!” “you need more faith,” because it insinuates that 1) you dont have enough faith or else you wouldn’t be sick. and 2) God responds only when you “have enough faith” which is so wrong
I’m so glad other people’s parent we’re sane too. Growing up in a Christian household, and being a Christian myself, my parents and I know that God gave people with the skills and opportunities in the medical field to help us in times of sickness. I’ve also seen firsthand, instances where the doctors could not help, and people who have been cured through the power of prayer. That’s a real thing, but so are doctors and other medical professionals. Faith alone can’t cure all your ailments, and that’s why we were blessed with medical professionals.
@@kmjl93 I wouldn't say that faith alone can't cure things I would just say that God isn't restricted in the way He heals people if/when it's in His will to do so. I.e. miracle versus doctors/medicine
I think it's great when kids are raised playing outside, getting dirty etc. But having other social circles (daycare, school), structure, boundaries is important for their development. Ironically, I find mom really controlling and selfish for denying them these things.
You’re completely right. I thought the same thing! Also she’s letting the older child breast feed to meet her own emotional needs and that’s controlling and selfish as well.
@@kotah88 man, i would give my kids every opportunity to get ahead in life. the world it tough, and hard, and i feel for these kids who are not prepared for life
I practically raised myself, My mom had thyroid cancer and couldn't help but sleep (Didn't work from when I was 5 till I was 12) and my dad worked nights so he had to sleep all day, and even as a kid I didn't want to wake them because I knew that my dad was the one paying the bills and my mom was sick. But now at 20 years old both parents passed and a child of my own. I'm going to make sure my daughter has a stable life and I'll actually parent her not just let her roam and raise herself as I did. It caused mental health issues for me and there is no way she's going to go through that as well.
They are choosing their kids futures and lives for them by not even giving them a chance .. as parents we are raising little people to go into the real world eventually. And what gets me SO BAD about these “free range parents” .. THEY ARE VACCINATED !!
I was home schooled and although I had a great curriculum and my mom was a phenomenal teacher, I had friends like this growing up. I’m talking kids who couldn’t read at 13, who had no bedtime, no rules, etc. And let me tell you, that did not set them up for success. I’m 26 now and I’ve seen them become addicts, go in and out of jail, and be unable to get jobs. It makes me so sad because none of that is their fault.
So so true. God, this explains some of my exes behaviors. He was homeschooled and has absolutely no self-discipline. I was too, but my experience was a little different.
It's so hard to find other sane homeschoolers. I was homeschooled part of my childhood, and am homeschooling my kids but still want them to have social interactions. But it seems like all the other homeschoolers are super religious or they're free range anti-vax nuts. Plus when I tell people I homeschool they instantly assume I'm one of those two groups like no I just want to teach my neurodivergent kid in a way that caters to her learning style!
Yeah, same here. I was homeschooled throughout my life and it was great for me, now I’m in college. I had friends who did great too. But there were a few families who “homeschooled” but didn’t actually teach their kids, and I feel so bad for how far behind those kids are now because of it.
I was homeschooled too and a few things are similar to this family but NOT regarding having no structure for schooling or using no modern medicine. A homeschooled friend told me my experience was like a private school compared to hers! Both of us are doing well academically but I know they are just smarter in general (her older sister was reading thick books at like four years old!); I really appreciated my unique experience with a lot of structure.
@@whossoul I am homeschooled I used to be in a high school but was severely bullied to the point when Covid started I realised I didn’t want to go back to school afterwards. I’m glad that I went to school as I don’t think my mum could’ve taught me to read and write so I’m glad I went to school then was homeschooled in high school
I was raised with basically no parenting. I was coddled my entire life until I moved out. Now I'm 20, and I have zero knowledge of how to be a functioning adult. I have to now raise myself in my early 20s, and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just guessing. I've been at a disadvantage because of it. It's very, very difficult to navigate something you have never been taught to. Don't do this to your children. Please parent them. It makes life sooo much harder on them.
@Lady Green sleeves it's very tough. I'm just very lucky and have a bf who is willing to teach me how to do life shit properly. I wish you the best and I hope you find someone who will teach you too.
My mom didn’t want me to leave her, so she didn’t teach me anything. It sucks. 27 and still learning things I should have learned before I was 20. Trying to learn structure and discipline.
@@TheGuardianssorrow same here. i’m 28 and do not know simple life skills. I have literally told her to her face i don’t even know how to make a simple cup of coffee at public places it’s embarrassing as a woman that’s almost 30. I’m a pre-k teacher and when she tells me they’re too young to learn their names it gets me so angry and I said you baby too much which is why u got two kids that can’t do shit for themselves.
Ex husband was raised almost exactly the same way and he's the first person to champion against this life style. He struggles with emotional control, depression about how 'the real world' is, and cannot hold a job because he finds it difficult to focus and follow any sort of regulation.
@@PlatypusMusiqI don’t think they meant like first person ever. I think they meant first person in their family. It’s quite an accomplishment though being raised a certain way and breaking out of it especially being raised THIS WAY
The no routine thing got me, having raised a child, being the eldest of 6 and now having a puppy, I understand the importance of routine. Children LOVE routine! They thrive under a reasonable routine and structure.
Amen to that. My oldest didn’t do so well when we worked hours all over the shop (some days starting at 6am, others starting at 8pm) They struggled until we lost our jobs. Took a while but now my husband has a good consistent job where both kids have a proper bedtime/wake up/ meals etc. they are thriving
You're right,routine is important. Routine creates a save space. A predictable space. It gives kids and adults peace of mind.. i can't imagine living without routine... not knowing when what is going to happen hahah
I dated a guy who was raised by parents who were religious survivalist/dooms day preppers. He didn't learn how to read or write or most anything when it came to the secular world but he could survive in the wild probably indefinitely. Because of the way his parents raised him he had extreme anxiety and depression, he struggled with the want to connect to modern society but also being so disconnected from it, and he had CPTSD from the religious abuse that came with it and the fact that he never felt like his parents loved or even cared about him and his siblings. There are ways to teach your kids about the earth and nature and respecting it while also giving them the tools to thrive in modern society. I hope these kids don't develop the same anxiety my ex had. He was a really beautiful person who was wrecked by his childhood.
Ive watched the show that used to be on. I often think back and wonder how many kids are trapped to this day in bunkers by bonkers parents. Having their best years ruined.
Just think of how "free range" kids negatively effect other kids? Those kids don't understand how them not having any responsibilities and no expectations of them make other kids have to pull all the extra weight in all sorts of things because we are social beings and that will follow them all through life and as they become adults the resentment will be a lot more palpable. Adults will make them liable be for such irresponsibility.
Ken has a really good point with the "educating them on the other options", like even my family was about that with religion. Parents were agnostic and grandparents were as well, but they never shyed away from talking to us about religions. Educating in all the options should be a part of the free range type of parenting but it almost never plays a part with families like these.
Being agnostic is being in the middle, searching for answers, being open minded. Unable to believe or not to believe, because there's no solid proof of whatever it is. Mostly it's about God. But being able to take in most of the opinions and theories if they make sense, unless you have found a strong one already.
There's been "toxic parenting" in every generation, and it isn't always addiction, physical abuse, and neglect. This instance is more toward super mom, organic and homemade, kid empowerment but towards toxic extremes. It's absolutely fascinating when you get below the surface shock of ignorance.
When i told my grandma i was atheist but was spiritual and liked buddhism practices she looked very worried. But she never forced me to go to church. Shes never brought it up again (she is probably praying out her ass sometimes that i get some faith lmaoo but i still am glad that she values my independence enough to let me choose)
Yea I thought so as well... if you want to raise independent and free kids you need to give them skills to be so. All of the skills. Physical, mental, emotional... the world isn't going to serve them..
The movement behind not letting your kid cry it out, isn't about not letting you kid cry for the goal of independence. It's about understanding your childs needs and nurturing them from where they are at in development. There is a TON of research in early childhood development that shows that crying it out can have negative long term effects in the brain, including more stress, anger and tendency towards violence. Look into early childhood research coming out from Notre Dame University. I watched a panel they did on the dangers of crying it out method.
@@sophien5416 it's the way they portray it. I never let my kids cry it out. Always reacted to their needs and you're right there is loads of research behind it and I'm totally behind it. Kids don't cry without reason. But as I said it's the way it's portray it..
@@gfdereus8967 good on ya mama! It's not easy (especially at night), but I'm already seeing such a good trend in my own child. Everyone tells me how calm and sweet my son is. Other kids can try to take his toy, for example, and he will be calm and more concerned about comforting the other child during their tantrum.
Those "parents" are making their kids skip the tutorial and are sending them straight to the boss fight at level one. Those poor children. I hope they can handle life as adults.
The original idea behind free-range parenting, was to let children make choices on their own, and they have to accept the consequences without parental intervention. People took it to mean zero boundaries, and that's bonkers Edited to add: to be fair, I would bet my foot that woman doesn't drink soda.
As an American who lives in the Uk, 99% of soda here has aspartame or some sort of artificial sweetener instead of sugar. I quit soda ever since moving here, I don't blame her.
The Montessori method is exactly that. You teach the kid how to function and take care of their basic needs so they have it down and can focus on building their knowledge base. An example of that is with the Montessori method you use glass cups and pitchers so that children understand the consequences of their actions. Being thoughtless leads to broken glass. When you break a glass you clean it up carefully so you don’t hurt yourself. It’s about learning logic. So you start off with simple problems like a broken glass and eventually have an independent child. Example: your child sees the job they want requires a certain resume. They need x amount of volunteer hours and x amount of training to get it they are confident enough in themselves at 16-20 to be able to complete all necessary tasks on their own. That’s the goal. I had helicopter parents and they left me with crippling anxiety but I want my kid to have a better life and be better equipped to handle any situation he’s thrown into. I’ve been using the Montessori method and he is a sweet considerate independent child who don’t need no mama. Makes me a little sad but that’s exactly what I raised him to do.
IMHO the comparison with food is off. And as you already said, I also think that a person as much into nature as her, she won't drink any soda and probably grow their own fruit and veg or try to buy organic.
I feel awful for the kids. They didn’t choose this way of living and if they ever decide to choose differently they are at a severe disadvantage. Limited education, social interaction, heath care, and knowledge of societal “norms”. Also as a teacher and mandated reporter, I would say the no shoes thing (never wearing them, especially in dangerous areas) is borderline neglect and would be enough to make a report with cps.
It’s not good. You can let kids have fun and run through fields barefoot whilst also making sure they protect their feet in other areas. They aren’t vaccinated, they could get tetanus just from a spiky plant or thorn ffs…
@@bethtinx so dangerous and careless. I LOVED being barefoot as a kid in safe areas + being fully vaccinated. There’s so many ways to let kids connect with nature, and what these parents are doing isn’t one smh
@@kirstendavis6608 If I had a kid, I would teach them about nature, animals and how to interact with cats and dogs. So many kids get bitten by dogs and it infuriates me because it's always the dog who gets the blame and not the kids or adult. I was pretty much the calmest kid around animals as I was the only kid that my grandma's cat allowed me to pet her. The other kids she hissed at them or just ran away cause they pulled her ears or tail. My parents never taught me how to behave around the cat though. Also, I would teach them not to eat every plants as some of them are poisonous.
That way of living is great, they just need good education and medical care and social interactions and structure and no shoes is fine and good in nature and at home not in the city of course
Listening to you two guys talk about getting your kids psyched up for reading and writing. I just love it. You're 100 on being excited for your kids crappy looking letter A and saying good job and seeing them try more to just be better... that's how my parents were and still are in every accedemic adventure i take. :) life leaners begins as learning lovers.
My parents weren't this bad, but we're very hands off when it came to parenting too. I gotta say, it sucked figuring out basic living skills in my 20s.
I think most people go through this shit, regardless of how much structure your parents gave you. Your 20s is a rough time for a lot of people. The problem is that the structure that your parents impose on you is imposed by them. You are not doing it of your own volition so you're not guaranteed to keep doing it when you leave home. The ideal situation is to have your kids understand that shit needs to get done and why it needs to get done. Set realistic consequences for action and inaction. If you understand that, you're going to do what you need to do.
@@TallicaMan1986 both are equally damaging. One is severe neglect causing trust and emotional dependency issues (avoidant disorder) and the other doesn't allow the child to make decisions and be self confident.
I have really bad ADHD, and it's something I've struggled with for all of my life. I'm 20 years old now and I still struggle with it. From university, to work, to my social life and then even to my relationships it has caused me a lot of difficulties. If I had grown up without a schedule, without discipline and without organisation I would struggle 100 times more. Even now, as an adult who's probably able to be independent. I'm well aware that my 'success' in life still depends on me being organised, and diligent. I will always need a set schedule. This just seems so disastrous to me, because even adults need organisation and scheduling. Let alone children. This kids are not being taught how to be adults and whilst it may seem freeing, it's so detrimental
This is what I was thinking, like I was raised military, my parents had to pretty much be forced by the school to get me evaluated when I was 11. Turns out I’m autistic and have ADHD, and life, school, work, genuinely can be a huge mess inside of your head you don’t feel like you can escape from… but having parents in the military they were very good at structure, work ethic, self discipline, and without their rigid upbringing in those ways I probably wouldn’t be even half as productive in adulthood…. I see these kinds of parents and all I can think is “those poor kids are gonna get eaten alive in the real world…..”
I personally feel like “letting my child choose” is irresponsible and kinda lazy because part of being a parent is helping a kid guide their choices because they don’t know any better yet. You HAVE to take that role of making certain decisions for them. Not everything can be left for them to learn on their own. Like imagine how many dead kids we’d have if we let kids do what they want.
That's why I hate parents like in these videos because they take things too far. Letting kids make choices can be very beneficial. In the 2-3 age range where kids get very defiant giving them a choice between two predetermined options (like do you want cereal or a waffle for breakfast) is great because it gives them a sense of the control and independence they want and makes for less tantrums. As they get older letting them make small choices and experience the consequences teaches them way better than lecturing ever could (ie letting them choose to not clean up the toys in their room then they step on a Lego and see why it's important to pick them up). It sinks in way more when they get to experience the consequences themselves vs being told about mythical consequences they've never experienced. It really drives home a sense of responsibility, that what they do has a very real impact on their life, and why making the right choice is important. What these parents are missing is that you need to give them choices in a controlled environment where their choices can't pose a serious risk to themselves.
It's a shame my brother is doing this. My brother and I found out some disturbing news about our dad of sexually assaulting women, statutory rape, and abusing/selling drugs and he's having his daughter choose whether to be babysat by him or not. Completely irresponsible and dangerous.
When I was little, I thought playing with the rabid and aggressive cat that roamed my neighborhood was a great idea. I also only wanted to live off of fruit loops and chocolate milk. I also have four daughters and twins on the way. My girls think the most dangerous things are perfectly good ideas. Kids have no idea what they’re doing. They need parents to teach and guide them.
"Ok, nevermind! They're just stupid!" LMAO Ken was trying so hard to be openminded and holding his snarkiness and disdain for these people until he couldn't take it anymore lol
I remember people thinking I had a strict childhood because my parents taught me how to do laundry and cook for myself by age 11. Sure there were days like, ugh why do I need to do my laundry, but it made my adult life easier. It's important to teach these things. When I left for college, I was good. Knew how to cook, clean, do laundry, no big deal. My first week I did laundry in the dorm, there were so many people freaking out cause they never did it. Clothes would shrink or colors would bleed. I told them what they did wrong and how to fix it, and they were just so surprised. I would see people leave for the weekend or holidays and they have BAGS of their laundry for their parents to wash, like wow. I am so thankfully for the lessons my parents taught me to make my adult life so easy.
I was allowed to walk around without shoes, eat leaves, climb trees, use knives to build things etc when I was a kids. Often with very little supervision, if any. I could explore and learn like her kids can. HOWEVER, I also went to school, and used modern medicine when needed (although certainly didn’t have over reactive parents like I often see as a doctor). I basically grew up how kids in the 70’s did, but I did it in the early 2000’s. You can let your child develop as a person whilst still being a good parent
Same here, parents also encouraged me, my brother and my friends to do that. Like being 8-9 years old, we played in the forest, fields all without supervision.
This ancestors argument... Infant mortality was very high.. Children surviving to adulthood was low... Both my parents lost siblings to "simple" diseases as kids Everyone wants to live long, but if you talk to these 90+ individuals they survived through a lot, and also lost a of people they cared about along the way Everyone has a right to live how they want to But just like they said, we have modern medicine for a reason 🤷🏾♀️
True and this affects the children’s lives I’m sure if they could understand they would rather choose to have the essential tools medicine and shoes if it would lower their chances of dying
Yes, and sometimes you might think you'll get through a birth just fine but......... Over a hundred years ago women in labor set out burial clothing for themselves as they knew they might very well never survive childbirth .
Also, that argument - our ancestors were gatherers and hunters... Well, our ancestors were also ruthless warriors. They had to constantly fight for territory. We live in different times. Yes, it is good to teach city kids old-style living, like growing your food, but we have our luxuries for a reason. They come from bad human experience, which we have learnt to avoid with medicine, pasteurisation and other technologies.
I mean I know we aren’t supposed to judge other parents for how they raise their kids but…..kids need structure and a routine if they run around and do whatever they want then they will just have no discipline or anything like that.
@@evannunsince9357 you'll be surprised how many people, particularly women, will get all up in arms and offended if you offer some parenting advice and they basically say "Who are you to tell me how to raise my kid?" people get really definitive about parenting.
I’m confused. Isn’t the way that they’re parenting their kids with the “free range parenting” actually teaching their kids to be more dependent instead of independent? With not weaning the kids, not allowing them to go to school, denying their children certain life options? I think kids need a little structure, not to force parental control, but to teach and encourage healthy growth.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Keeping the kids dependent on mom and not letting them learn physical or emotional independence. Then isolating them from socializing with other kids/people. Then giving them options that are safe with healthy natural consequences. Letting their kids fall gently and learn to pick themselves back up so they gain self confidence. What they are doing is keeping the kids dependent on them completely and it does not go well past approx age 10 because I've seen it before.
Yes, because they found the name of a parenting technique and stole it to describe and try to legitimize their bold dysfunction. Actual free range parenting is something like: teach the three year old when her tummy gets full and when she’s hungry, fill a basket she can reach with health snacks, and teach her to self govern snacking. Or a teen has a social problem at school and comes to you complaining, you ask them how they want to solve it and strategize and problem solve with them until they feel confident that it’s right. Then check with them everyday after school to see how it’s going and if there’s need of your intervention. As far as I can tell, free range parenting strategy has nothing to do with this couple.
@@Lizzard2060 it’s a really insidious form of emotional abuse to deprive children of social interaction and fully force them to depend on family alone. It’s developmentally inappropriate and contrary to their curiosity and expected stage of language and skill acquisition. I really hate that she’s doing that to her kids, who would benefit from knowing how to have friends and talk to them regardless of anyone’s parenting style. That kind of insular behavior of depriving children of social contact outside of the “group” is also a cult grooming behavior. They’re not a cult, but I just think having things in common with cults is not great.
Yes, instead of raising their kids to be independent & think critically about the world around them, the parents are catering to every need, creating kids that will expect everyone else in the world to drop everything to help them do basic functions
They are just neglecting their children and justifying it by claiming several different parenting philosophy without following any of those parenting philosophies. Free range parenting teaches independence with "safe dangers" and unschooling is taking the child's interest into account when teaching neither of those are what she's doing.
As a foster, adoptive and biological parent; children thrive on structure and boundaries. They don’t have to wonder or worry. Their routine soothes them and takes out the uncertainty of the world outside of the home. Your breast milk will make antibiotics if it knows your baby needs it. So it can heal/help heal your breastfeeding child. Still go to the doctor if your baby is sick! For the skeptics. One of the most fascinating features of breastmilk is that not only does it change when the mother gets unwell, but it can also work in the other direction. This means when your baby is suffering from an infection, the breastmilk can change its composition to respond to baby’s needs and tailor its properties to help fight the microbes.
It is simply passive immunity from breastmilk. It is your antibodies from pathogens you have faced and they are always present in the breast milk. Your body doesn't suddenly turn on antibodies in milk because it can sense your baby is sick and it doesn't make it special to heal your baby. However, it is wonderful for the baby's health since they start with very few antibodies and an ineffective immune system. Also it is not enough to actively treat a sick infant, only to help support their own immune function. So agreed that sick children need to go to the doctor
@@somethinginthenothing thanks, was looking for someone with a medically accurate description. Some moms think that breast milk is a solution to all ails… and it’s not. It’s an incredible body fluid and very important, but it’s not many of the things that it’s claimed to be.
@@somethinginthenothing thanks I was very confused by "your breast milk will make antibiotics for your baby if it knows it needs it" it knows?? Breastmilk knows things?
My wife (who studied medicine for several years) explained the breast milk thing to me. If I remember correctly, a mother's breast milk contains antibodies. So if a child gets sick, the best thing for them is to breast feed. But I'm pretty sure it would only work for a mother and their own child so that those antibodies are present and can do their job.
The mother also needs to have a good immune system and be healthy for this to work. Antibodies are created by a well functioning immune system, which these hippies obviously don't have. What I'm trying to say is that mother is probably so sickly (you can just tell looking at her) that any antibodies she is creating are so bad that they will barely help the child at all.
Speaking from experience: I am now 23 years old and growing up my life was hectic and i had very little guidance in a lot of areas such as cleaning, hygiene, set schedules, waking up, etc… and because of that my transition to adulthood has smacked me in the face realizing that on top of trying to take care of myself, I am- at 23 years, old having to learn the basics of life because my parents didn’t teach me. Yeah… it’s a horrible parenting style.
There needs to be a balance. Like ken said, if someone wants to let their kids be free range then they should still teach them everything there is to know. I agree with some of the things the family does. I agree breastmilk is great for a child but once they learn to communicate, don't let them cry and just give them that. I also agree that the cry it out method is not a great method, in my opinion. It just doesn't seem right and I don't think I would be able to let my child do that. I think people should vaccinate their children and give them a set schedule that they can adapt to. If someone lets their child think they can over rule them, then life as a parent can be 10x harder. Over all, teaching and communicating with the child is the best thing to do, no matter what someone chooses to do with their life and their child's life. I grew up learning to communicate with my parent instead of just crying and them giving me positive things for it. I was also homeschooled and as far as it got me in life, I wish I would've been in school to get social interaction with children my age. I hardly socialize and it is hard for me to find a job because I didn't learn to socialize in bigger groups. I tend to get very nervous and find someone who is older and ask them to help me when I need to talk to people. Other than that, I learned a lot of things that still help me to this day.
I was also homeschooled and I relate completely to having trouble with people my own age. I also feel better around someone older than me and my whole life my friends have consisted of people 10-20 years older
@@echo1336A I wasn't homeschooled, but my family were immigrants and we had a very different childhood than most people. I too relate very strongly with people older than myself, and currently my bf is 27 years older than me and I wouldn't have it any other way.
To be fair, i went to school and have the same problems socializing, but i can definitely see how being homeschooled would raise the chances of that happening
The cry out method seems absolutely terrible for a LITERAL baby in the cradle, and will not at all lead to attachment issues later for the poor Tot. This method should be used sparingly towards the training years.
My mom homeschooled my siblings because of my brother, we’re pretty sure he’s autistic since he had so many special interests and sensory issues, but it helped a lot to be able to follow the children in what they were interested in, because otherwise they wouldn’t listen and would have not done well in public or private school. He’s a teacher now in Oakland and has done very well for himself (he just had his first kid, the first of all of us).
Homeschooling is a great option for a lot of kids! I was homeschooled from 1st grade up until college and I loved it. My brother hated it, by high school he went to a private academy instead because it just didn't work for him. It all depends on the kid's needs, personality, and learning style. I don't like large groups of people and I like working on my own time so being homeschooled improved my learning. I did all four years of high school in nine months, published a book, completed three college career courses, and took two years of Japanese classes before I turned eighteen, which I never could have done in public school.
@@MaybeMockingbird I think all kids should try normal school first and then decide together with the parents if they'd do better being homeschooled, socially, psychologically and academically. Also idk about the US but considering the curriculas of schools, especially high schools, literally no parent would be able to teach you any of that thus leaving you unprepared for university. Maybe it's different in the US tho regarding entrance exams.
I never see this mentioned in the shows about free-range parenting or living if the grid and all that. But I wonder how often people try to appreciate the level of privilege that they have to be able to opt-out of experiences & structures other people wish they had. For example - she felt generally healthy enough to opt out of any medical help to give birth. Which means she likely had a pretty healthy childhood & pretty normal pregnancy. So many people wouldn't have that option even if they wanted it!
These people are seriously lacking in self awareness so your point would be completely lost on them. Not only that, but they are probably very low IQ as well and suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect. They think they have all of the answers. Stupidity is a curse and a plague.
Also, imagine the privilege that you have to pull your children out of school when parents in other countries are struggling to keep their children IN school.
You can't really be sure your pregnancy is going well or you ARE healthy if you don't seek prenatal care, which I am guessing she may have avoided in this. Additionally, you can have a super healthy pregnancy and hemorrhage after birthing baby to death. You can't really "feel" that happen, and the Dunning Kruger effect of having all the answers is 100% true here.
Free range parenting is designed to allow your kids to fail safely. My munchkin is very hard headed, independent, and confident. She really only learns from he own failures so this is something we've had to embrace. It does NOT mean letting your kids go around without structure or rules. These folks are just insane.
So are you if you think it's okay for your child to be stubborn and not listen to you it's great for them to be independent but if they don't take ur advice your doing something super wrong
Ken, don’t feel bad for ranting on this topic! Your subscribers watch your videos to listen to what you and Buff have to say. It’s nice watching you be so passionate about a video you’re watching. I’m not a parent yet, so I’m learning more on the type of parents skills I would like to use/have by watching this video.
I love his parent videos! He and Mary seem like they're raising their kids functionally and happy. Its nice to see that when me and a lot of people I know didn't have that growing up
Kids just like that positive reinforcement. They need that schedule and routine. I'm a teacher, and I've gone into several classrooms that were nuts. Just crazy. I get in there, write out a schedule I feel would suit all the kids, and they implement it. Ken is 100% right. It's hard at first, but once their bodies get used to it, it's an easier time. They know what to expect, less anxious because it isn't impredicable. Kids like to know what's going to happen. If they usually color at 11am, they know around that time, even if they can't tell time, their body knows, that it's time to color. If they eat around 12pm, they will get hungry around that time. It's a process, but you have to be willing to follow through with the process.
When I was in the hospital giving birth to my (now 5 year old) daughter, the doctor on duty straight up asked me if I 1) wanted a mirror to watch the birth, and 2) if I wanted the placenta. No, lady. Get this child out of me, and quit asking me if I want my placenta. Edit: I also wanted to point out that while her children are barefoot, mom is wearing $100 USD Birkenstock sandals.
Breastfeeding is actually only shown to be good for kids upto a certain age. I think once they’re 2 or 3, at that point they’re very capable of developing their own immune systems and getting the nutrients they need. Also it can cause psychological problems including severe separation anxiety and becoming way too attached to the mother.
I think your religious take is right - I'm pretty religious (being from Arkansas and everything) and I think modern medicine is like God's answer to a lot of people's prayers about their health. And there's the one quote from like Benjamin Franklin (I think) that says, "God helps those who help themselves". My parents are pretty hardcore, old-fashioned, traditionally religious and throughout my life, I've got them on to that line of thinking. I remember saying that relying on modern medicine doesn't show a "lack of faith" or anything like that - pray and have faith but realize that doctors and medicine are/could be the answer to that prayer. I don't know why some Christians/religious people don't believe in science and/or medicine - I'm a Christian and I'm down with science. I think God and science complement each other.
If someone believes in God, but doesn't believe that God gave enough brains to people to develope medicines and cures for illnesses, then do they really believe? Science is just an explanation of how the world works
I had a science teacher once say "whether you turn to science or religion for your questions, you have to believe in a little bit of both for your answers." And while I am not, nor have ever been, religious and look to science when I have a question, I think he was entirely right. To believe in religion without any science is like saying you dont believe it's your higher power's will to use the intelligence and resources we were given by them to succeed, thrive and progress. Alternatively, to believe in science without entertaining the idea that there may be some unknown and yet undiscovered force in the universe that would explain why something is the way it is, would be unscientific and illogical because everyday we discover something new and unknown about our world.
The cry it out method is neglect as well though. It's also completely unfounded, it was just some guys theory that become the way for some reason, but research shows the baby never actually self soothes, they just continue to panic until they wear themselves out and fall asleep.
@@PaxxTan yep, it teaches a child from an early age to detach emotionally from their parents as their needs are not being met. The child will typically develop a personality disorder like avoidance or preoccupied personality disorder. Sad.
as a teenager (15 M): Letting kids be independent is a very important thing, and it helps them in the future, that being said, it is important in any stage of your life to be organized and have a routine because without one you will find yourself lost, for example: maybe try to wake up and go to bed at certain times, choose to take a shower before or after a meal like lunch, breakfast, or dinner. the TL;DR of this is Organization and Routine is just as important as Independence.
As someone with ADD, depression, and anxiety, I can assure you, as dark as it is, if I lived as a "free-range" child I would not be alive at age 21. If I didn't have structure I would get nothing done. WIth no medication, i.e. anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications, and ADD meds, I would not have decided to continue living. Not to mention I needed life-saving surgery as a baby so I'd be dead before all this impacted me anyway. Not giving kids medicine is abuse and this really pissses me off
Agreed 100% demonizing medication is a form of ableism - discriminating against people with disabilities for having them. Medication is a valid and wonderful tool that we should all feel very grateful for. And if you don’t need it? Feel even more grateful that your body is moving neurotransmitters and hormones and has normal anatomical structure and doesn’t need physical supports, etc etc etc.
There's a golden middle between smothering your kids and having zero supervision. Neither of those extremes are healthy. In either case, you end up with adults who are unable to take care of themselves. The whole point of routine, structure and schooling, is that children to some extent learn to be self sufficient. No school system is perfect and I'm the first person to acknowledge that, but it does provide stability and opens up for opportunities later in life. This type of "parenting" (neglect really) will only contribute to your kids being ostracised later. Is that really what they want for their kids?
as nice as not having a routine is, it really was to my detriment as an adult. real life requires deadlines and schedules and the ability to adapt and i have such a hard time with it. i wish these kids the best, though. hopefully this change of pace in the working environment (self employment, freelance content style) is to their benefit.
Same. As a child I would go to school because I wanted to not because I was made. I remember there was a week where I stayed in my backyard because I thought I was a wild Indian and literally ate grass and hose water for a week and wasn’t told not to. I have a hard time as an adult now not to isolate and drift into fantasy
My dad is a military man and I had a scheduled since I was born. Now I have my own job and home. I know how to maintain my home from cooking to cleaning to fixing and building. I worked with electricity from the age of 15 I made my own computer desk at 19 and did flour and bathroom renovations at 21. So thanks to him I don't have to depend on a man, on a parent or a worker to get something done. I can pay to get something done but why would I for example play to build my bedroom when I can design it and build it the way I want to :D . So proud of mom and dad thank you
A lots of kids/parents don’t have access to modern medicine or school or food specially in other countries and it’s sad seeing these people take advantage of what they’re privileged to have
it seems that Ken and Buff are missing spending some in person time together and miss having a chance to just chat on their own off camera. They seem to be chit chatting and telling more personal stories on camera more than ever before. I like it.
It’s very sweet watching both of you talk about being dads and encouraging your kids even though their writing might stink right now. 😂 all part of the job. 😂 love it!!
There should be some structure, even with the "free range". Like take their age/development in mind wheb you do. You wouldn't let your 6 year old go to the store by themselves just because your 11 year old can do that. My nephew is a good example for why I think kids need some structure or rules growing up. He was decently well behaved whenever I babysat him and his older sister, UNLESS, they'd just been at their dads place, where their grandma spoiled him rotten. He could get away with stuff, but she'd yell at his sister for the same thing. And when I was watching them after, he was such a little sh*t, "I don't need to listen too you/You're not my mom", even though my sister would tell them that I was in charge and what I said goes. The amount of times I had to throw him into his room for being a brat and misbehaving is still giving me a headache.
As a child that needed structure to function like a calm normal kid( because ADHD) this is dreadful how can you not have a bedtime no routine nothing damn those kids need some parenting
Or maybe this channel isn't being self monitored enough and the things these guys say are actually promoting judgmental and ignorant thoughts in guise of reaction videos. Some of the things these guys say are straight up damaging. I get having a natural response to things but it's the action you have afterwards that should be a reflection of your true thoughts. So I'm glad they're not just leaving it off fully judgmental since they do reflect on what they say occasionally. But these guys are already at ages where they should have already been conscious of their actions. You can see the way people latch on to certain things they say that are harmful and it can be further exasperated by their comments too. Though hey, it's not as bad as the jamari channel tho, that dude is incredibly sloppy and promotes an aggressively ignorant following.
As a person with ADHD, I was confused as well as to how these kids function without structure. I have always lacked internal structure, and it’s such a source of stress.
@@privateemail9755 or perhaps it's you who is throwing prejudices on the channel. Or maybe this prejudice is being towards to those who follow this channel, that you're trying to imply that we don't have enough capacity to think for ourselves, that we don't know how to think critically. But hey they're just expressing their reaction just as much as you did. So I guess it's only fair to say that it's better to keep things real and to not filter ourselves just because it could possibly offend someone out there.
@@tealablu3759 you ever get that i wouldnt describe it as anxiety but more of a everything must be rushed feeling when you have no structure everytime i had no structure i would be irritated as hell because of it good to see im not the only one
Interesting thing I learned during my psychology degree is that parenting is measured on two dimensions: warm and control. Low warmth, high control = authoritarian, typically abusive Low warmth, low control = neglect High warmth, high control = authoritative, children have best developmental outcomes. High warmth, low control = permissive Authoritative (warm and structured) parenting is consistently found to be most effective for children's health and wellbeing
The Cry Out method was the best think I ever did as a parent. My daughter cried for a total of 15 mins. It took ONE NIGHT. Now it’s two years later and ever since that night she’s put herself to sleep every night!
Don't apologize for the rambles. It's what I find most appealing about the reaction videos. I enjoy that you add your own thoughts and takes and then expand upon it with your own insights and experiences. Way better than just watching the video and chuckling every now and then or stating the obvious like many other reaction channels. I came to hear you guy's insights and perspective on each video and topic. If I didn't like the commentary then I could very easily just go to the video and watch it myself. Keep doing what yall are doing Ken and Buff, I could listen to the rambles all day!
If I had a kid I don’t think I’d have a “traditional” way of raising my kid, however boundaries and structure are super important for any child. Also not taking them to a doctor is very VERY irresponsible. Edit: NO SHOES ON THE KIDS IN A CITY 😡!!! Pin worms and those kids are not vaccinated for tetanus! One rusty nail and they could die!
Tetanus isn’t from rust it’s is from faecal matter (even though that’s on animal products to begin with) and saliva, puncture wounds, crushing-related injuries, burns, or from injuries that have dead tissue but yah
@@Cassxowary no..tetani can live in soil and dust as well. any open environment where it can entire a wound. It is not limited to fecal mater. And it is rare. BECAUSE OF the vaccine's success rate.
There's definitely a middle ground! I'm a preschool teacher with a degree in childhood development and "traditional" methods are often very wrong in the context of evidence based practices, but these people take it too far the opposite way. I would look up gentle parenting, it's very evidence based and still stresses important things like structure while moving away from things like senseless discipline.
Interesting thing I learned during my psychology degree is that parenting is measured on two dimensions: warm and control. Low warmth, high control = authoritarian, typically abusive Low warmth, low control = neglect High warmth, high control = authoritative, children have best developmental outcomes. High warmth, low control = permissive Authoritative (warm and structured) parenting is consistently found to be most effective for children's health and wellbeing
Growing up, my dad was a surgeon and my mom was a naturopath healer. It taught me that the centuries' old medical techniques are useful when combined with modern medicine. One cannot totally replace the other. For example, Eucalyptus essential oil and my albuterol inhaler are both incredibly helpful for treating my asthma, and I wouldn't want to diminish the value of either of them!
Some of the old medical techniques are useful when combined with modern medicine... You wouldn't want to bloodlet something that already has low blood volume to try and treat an infection after all...
I agree, there are century old home remedies that are used and recommended for a reason. Used with much success on non emergent medical ailments though. Because as an asthmatic myself I know its the albuterol that will save my life should an asthma attack occur, but eucalyptus and peppermint have been soothing in between.
You’re right about being able to excite kids into doing anything. I know this firsthand, but a perfect example is a video I seen not too long ago. A guy woke his daughter up to by telling her the grass was growing lol. He was so pumped about it, she jumped right outta bed to go watch the grass grow lol.
I don’t want children personally, but I give props to all parents out there. It seems very difficult to become a parent and you really can’t just skate around it like other things in life. You have to put in the effort so your child can learn and grow. They rely on you to teach them so they can function when they get into the real world.
As someone raised wild, I can confirm it has been very very hard acclimating to being an adult in this society… Structure ,routine , authority…I’ve had to teach myself to reap
See, my idea of free range parenting is allowing my child to do tasks on their own (supervised of course). Like allowing them to try tie their own shoes or putting away their clothes or trying to make their own food or drinks. Not interfering unless asked for help. Kids can do so much! It’s hard to let them take their time to figure out how things work, cause it’s easier to just do it for them- but they are so amazing when left to their own devices.
I think that’s what the term actually is designed and used to mean in most cases. These people are just taking advantage of the term to try to legitimize their parenting style.
That's more in line with the Montessori philosophy free range has limited adult supervision with what is reasonable for their age/skill levels. Not much is reasonable for their ages.
me and my boyfriend grew up in very different ways. my parents were always very protective , i barely ever went outside to play during weekends, when school finished i always had to go home right after, hell i didn’t even learn how to ride a bike until about two months ago (i’m now 22). my dad especially was very rough when it came to our education and school paths. if we brought home bad grades me and my sis knew we’d be getting a slap or two. so that kinda generated a lot of fear and maybe a bit of sadness in the relationship between us and our dad from him being so rough on us. if we brought home good grades we’d get nothing but a “you did nothing but your job” so we never got praised, asking to go out with friends at the ages of 14-16? hell nah. i could only start going to the beach with friends (which was a 20m train ride away from our house) after i got a boyfriend because he’d come along, otherwise according to my mom the train is “super dangerous “ when Lisbon IS LITERALLY SUPER SAFE (??????????????) my parents are very old-schooled maybe because they were parents so young. my mom intentionally got pregnant with my sis at the age of 16 and my dad was 18… so… yea… now my boyfriends parents… they’re kinda hippies too. but my boyfriend at least had some rules, not like these kids. he didn’t get vaccinated bc my in-laws don’t believe in that stuff i think? (even tho they’re scientists themselves), his bedtime was around 11pm/12am on week days whereas mine was 9:30pm/10pm (i’d sometimes have to beg my dad to finish watching a show before bed), his dad was a big gamer soooo he grew up also doing that and having that addiction xD as an adult he struggles a lot with having a good sleep schedule… it used to be worse like going to sleep at 5am and having to wake up to go to school at 7:30am or something like that. now he usually falls asleep around 2am and wakes up at 8:45am so it’s better. because he also used to just sleep all day after going to bed at 8am :/ but the general idea is that his parents are very free with these things and never really cared for his school path like homework (he never did it but they never cared anyway), he’d avoid doing school projects, slept through all the classes etc. and was almost never grounded 😅 so yea… we’re very different nowadays! i somehow have kept my sleep schedule intact, im 22yo and i start falling asleep at 10:30pm bc that’s how it’s always been, whereas he’s good all night xD he goes to sleep much earlier because we have already talked about how it’s not good for him and he’s been trying to improve that part!
Bruh I was technically a “free range kid” because I grew up with a very sick mother, and bro- the amount of mental health issues I suffer from because of it- This is just a more covert form of forced parentification. Making children parent themselves means that they will never be able to just be kids. They will always be stuck being a parent. Structure for children is not just structure but a form of comfort, reassurance and nurturing.
I’m really interested to know what the parents are hoping for for their kid’s futures. How will their kid earn money? Will they get a job? How will they know their future employer will let them do what they feel like doing? Will they start their own business? How will they ensure a steady income if they just do whatever they feel like doing? There are loads of examples for this. Nothing is guaranteed in life, but I feel like it’s risking your child being put at a disadvantage for certain things. The outside world isn’t free range, and who knows if it will be in the future? Idk, I feel like raising your child to be “free range” comes from a place of privilege
“some people see it as child abuse” pretty sure most people do.. I feel so sorry for the kids and i hope they will find friends who are willing to teach them the stuff that their ignorant parents clearly won’t do.
Parenting, like everything in life, is about balance. My kid can go play in the backyard or the woods but if its cold she has a jacket on. When she's sick she gets herbal tea, Tylenol and cough syrup. She's in bed on time for schoolnights but occasionally on weekends we stay up late playing games together or watching movies. Vaccinate your crotch goblins!
Not cutting the cord until it falls off is known as a lotus birth. However, I work for a hospital and women who want lotus births are not allowed at the hospital i work for bc it increases the risk of infection to the baby as the placenta decays. It is not medically advised and has no health benefits to not cut the cord
Most mammals cut the umbilical cord, even cats and dogs bite through it, it is natural to cut it. Apparently "Lotus Births" are a thing now. They dont cut the cord, they wait for the placenta to come out, then they put it in a bag with herbs and salt and carry it around with the baby until it falls off. The worst part of that is that the umbilical cord seals off naturally after about an hour after being born anyway, so it isnt doing anything, which means not cutting it or carrying around the placenta in a bag, does nothing, so they are better off cutting it.
My mum used to read to us every night from baby days. I taught myself to read at age 3 by asking her what all the letters mean because I loved her reading to us so much. Luckily my language is spelled phonetically. I think English would've been more difficult to teach myself! She should absolutely get her kids interested in reading
Teaching English is so hard! I homeschool my kid and it's made me realize how ridiculous our language is because you learn these rules but then it says BTW there's also all these other words that don't follow those rules and there's no rule to know when you do and don't follow those rules you just have to memorize which words follow which rules.
@@whossoul I'm dreading teaching my child English spelling oneday! I don't remember how I learnt it. I could read English before we started doing English at school at age 9. But yes, English spelling is ridiculous!
She put a label "science" on the toys, yet haven't taught them how to read. How do you expect them to read which box is which?! 🤦♀️Like Ken said - they are stupud.
My Aunt breast fed her youngest child until they were 6. Nothing more awkward than not knowing, looking in the backseat and seeing your fully speaking cousin on the teet. Nothing against what people want to do in their life, but wow.
I had an aunt that did the same. Then many years later my sister did the same thing. Her last child, a girl with 5 older brothers, was nursed until sometime into her sixth year. I found that quite rediculous myself. My one and only detached herself from me at 5 months.😆
Wow indeed. My wife breastfeed her babies until they were not quite two. She has one daughter with a disability and let her breastfeed until she was mentally in the place of a two year old and that was at 4. I couldn't imagine going until 6 for no reason....
@@tidepodpadthai2633 nope, if a woman continues to use her breasts after birth- she can produce milk indefinitely. For example, wet nurses are women who can still provide milk, and offer their milk to babies whose mothers, for whatever reason, cannot provide. Excellent plan B back in the day before formula was an option.
Imagine being this proud of intentionally preventing your kids from receiving healthcare and refusing to teach them anything, including the life skills they will be *required* to have in order to function as adults. This is a form of neglect in my opinion. It may not be ab*se, but it’s definitely negligent, and refusing to take care of your child’s health because you don’t feel like it is neglect. Period.
Unfortunately, these parents don't realize that they are actually neglecting their children. Children need structure and boundaries in order to feel safe and to learn. They'll have to learn these things at some point or another, whether it be now as kids or later as adults. One thing is for sure, they definitely aren't setting their kids up to be capable and happy adults later on and it's really sad 😥
I feel like there’s definitely a fine balance between free range and strict parenting. Those who are raised too strictly are bound to rebel and often tend to be deprived of making their own mistakes in life and learning from them. Those who are “raised” with little to no parental supervision are likely to ‘go power crazy’ as they learn they can (supposedly) do whatever they want in life. Those in between I feel is the best approach; to teach everything you feel valid and important, give advice on whether or not they should do something, and let them make minor mistakes so they can learn what it means to be an independent person with choices that impact their futures.
There's a name for that balance! It's called gentle parenting and is all scientific based practices with tons of studies to back it up. It really strikes that healthy balance of needed structure while giving kids the freedom to learn the way they do best!
My concern is that the parents were more than likely vaccinated and they're just fine, so I don't understand their argument about having their kids vaccinated. I'm all for the natural births as long as they're responsible about it. Breastfeeding your kids for as long as you want is alright too but being respectful of the larger population that don't breastfeed their children past 3 years old and just doing it in the comfort of their own home. Overall, vaccinate your children for THEIR sake. Don't be selfish and expose your children to killer diseases.
I worked in OB and coded deliveries-I don’t have any issue with anyone doing a natural home birth (unless they’ve had a couple c-sections-we had a patient that ruptured their uterus doing that). Anyone else high risk should probably delivery at a hospital. Thankfully they didn’t live far from the hospital and could get there quickly-otherwise they would’ve bled out and died. A good midwife will make sure that there is a backup plan with the patient in case anything happens.
Watching this made me feel respected and loved by my parents. As tumultuous as our relationship was in my teens (I'm in my 30's now), I know they cared for me and provided enough structure. I'm just glad that got me vaccinated as a child, polio is wack AF.
The not giving the kids shoes in public is borderline negligent to me. In your own backyard is one thing, but they literally acknowledged the baby could step on glass and that’s ok? What if the cut gets infected and they don’t believe in modern medicine either. Maybe I’m overreacting, but we have shoes and modern medicine for a reason
honestly. and there's so many bugs and bacteria that they can be stepping on in the backyard alone, not even thinking about all the different things on the ground in public. children get cuts its normal but if they step on something and get bacteria and other things in that cut from not wearing shoes it can get really bad depending on what they step on and how deep the cut is. i'm not a parent but i wouldnt want to risk anything like that.
They would put breast milk on it. 🤣
And people have been wearing shoes since ancient times. Its not a "rule" its common sense
When Ken said "I know another word for this" in the beginning, I thought he was gonna say "neglect"
And all the disgusting diseases they could contract from stepping on tained glass, rusty nails, old drug needles.... smh
The not being able to hold a job thing is for real in my experience. I had a friend through grade school into college who had no discipline or responsibility from her parents. She was allowed to do whatever, whenever. The result? Jobs feel like torture to her, as did school. She went from never having to do anything to being expected to be an adult. She nearly flunked out of art school and was fired or quit many jobs because the employers were "mean". They weren't mean. I worked with her once, and a mutual friend another time. They simply asked her to work, and did so politely most of the time. She would spend half her shifts dragging her feet or hiding in the bathroom. Kids need structure to be functional adults!
That’s the part that gets me, even if I think “man the whole adult part of life is filled with all kinds of stupid things that don’t make sense” you still have to be able to function in it to live a decent life.
I used to be like that and had this upbringing. An important thing to add is that it bled into my parenting. I had to do the right thing eventually and change. It’s hard ever day and now I’m learning to discipline myself and my child with help from supportive family for the kids. I want to break the wheel. It’s sad it took so long. I’m 30 now, so it’s time to buckle up or stfu.
Free-range parenting might be a few notches worse than my hands-off one, but it certainly messes up everything. I just can't hold any routine for any good reason, except for my pets well-being ones. Won't blame my parents though, they where just young adults during the 70s...
Kind of sounds like she wasn't your friend, though?
Yes! Also I don’t think this is going back to the basics or how it used to be! Kids were treated like tiny adults and expected to work dangerous jobs I until the 20th century!
I have an issue with this lady not teaching her children to read and write at a young age. The longer you wait to teach kids that stuff, the more difficult it is for the child to learn. Decisions made in ignorance yield more ignorance.
Yup, they are squandering the best time to teach their kids while their brains are literally information sponges
I saw something some time ago about how ages 1-3 are the most crucial for literacy, language skills, and most other skills in general to learn.
@@mayday24 fascinating, I'd like to see that study if you would be so kind as to provide it. Namely since it runs counter-intuitive to my own personal experience, anecdotal as it might be. Given how the language centers of the brain start forming from birth, and some argue pre-natally as well, I find it hard to believe that exposure to reading as early as possible can be a waste of time. I'm interested to see how the researchers came up with their thresholds of when a child can and cannot comprehend certain things. According to what you're claiming, it would be pointless to teach children to read before the 3rd grade, in the US, which clearly isn't the case.
That plus it’s child abuse. They’re willingly denying their children access to available modern medicine, education and teaching them independence. Any mother who continues to let their child breastfeed past the age of 3ish is doing so for her own selfish and sick psychological needs. Your child will continue to crave what they’re used to, and it’s your job to introduce solid foods and wean them off the breast. Absolutely all mammals know to do this, because it’s in the child and the mother’s best interest overall. It’s just as sick as mothers who use their adult children as replacements for adult romantic relationships. See Debbie and Coltee or all the families on Smothered for example.
@@mayday24 if you tried to post a link, it didn't come through. If you could provide the title and authors of the study I can look it up for myself.
I was heavily sheltered as a kid, and was not allowed to leave the house until I was 16. I understand overprotective parents are that way because of love, but there needs to be a limit. I'm 25 now, got my own personal bubble finally, and I've broken out of my shell. I just envy adults my age who had adventurous childhoods with all their friends.
Edit: sorry to vent
Same, i wasn't allowed to climb trees (I understand falling but still adventure), very little help with homework (when i did it ended in yelling and fights) so I was constantly doing homework, and I had to give about a week notice if I wanted to go to a friend's house (I understand not wanting to drop everything but damn), constantly had someone watching/hovering (so every error was punished). Because of all this I only went to my grandparents on the weekends and didn't have friends for a good chunk of my childhood.
Now that I'm in my early 20s I am very socially awkward, don't have any friends (that i talk to more than once a year) have anxiety when I leave the house, feel like I missed out on so many childhood achievements/milestones/experiences that I will never get, i constantly feel like im being watched (by person or camera) and probably more that I can't think of rn.
I understand it's out of love and to teach discipline, but in reality it teaches manipulation (how to get out of trouble), who's footsteps are who's, to not trust people and so much more.
We are in the same boat.😭 I'm 25 and was waayyyy late in the game for anything. Have a ton of regret for stuff that wasn't even really my fault. :( [not doing things like everybody else was]
The world is a dangerous where I live at there a nuclear plant in our town and you can tell the effects it has on ppl
Also in the same boat so I let my 3 kids do everything and learn for themselves -- however, I wish I would have pushed some strictness with homework and chores more cuz I now have fairly lazy teenagers. Always the answer is a happy medium.
My parents were extremely religious and thought any form of having fun was a sin. The only socializing I was allowed was in Boy Scouts, church, and sports.
I think there's a balance to be found - it's great to show the child how to respect nature, how to grow their own food - but don't deprive them of general literacy and societal function
And or put them in dangerous situation like walking barefoot on the street. They could get a serious infection if they cut their feet
i believe that by not teaching them how to read and write they won't be able to understand people. That child will grow up resenting their parents.
And how is this the child's choice ?
@@sasvideres when did they say it was
EXACTLY
Buff saying that you shouldn’t make each generation start over is so accurate. I love when older generations are like “younger folks have it easier” like … yes is that not the point to make our kids lives easier than ours was??
i hear the older generation say that VERY often. it went from "i want you to have a better life than i had" to "you kids have it so easy" so fast
@@dogmeat.servicedog happens every generation, and most likely will happen to the next to XD
@@tapukeyz1407 with how much our generation argues and complains. Hell yea they are going to do that too 😂
Facts
Touchè
I had a very lax childhood. Was never told when to shower/brush teeth, didn’t have a bed time, no homework help… it was hard as a kid to remember to do all that stuff and confusing as to why I didnt receive the same structure as my friends. and it translated into a very hard young adulthood. I had to go to counseling to learn how to take care of myself, set a routine, deal with the normality of a “boring” day where I can’t just stop doing something I don’t enjoy.
I hope these kids don’t go through the same pain I did. Even if the parents mean well, they can still mess up horribly.
I agree children like structure and need to be taught to care for their bodies.i feel better when I brush my teeth shower and live in a clean environment so u know children do too but they need to be told and helped along. My mom didn't help me with my clothes or hair or anything and I felt later like oh she didn't care about me or how I looked or if my hair was clean. Maybe as a child I didn't realize it but getting older I felt very much less then my friends who parents helped them and cared for them in a more structured hands on way.
I have worked with kids that have "trouble concentrating" and most of them just haven't been taught to do things they don't want to do. I think giving children structure and age appropriate chores (with age appropriate rewards too of course) it's essential if you want kids to be successful in this education system. It's all about balance really, but learning early that sometimes you have to just do things you find boring or tedious for a propuse is very important. Yes, it sucks the education system is like it is, it sucks life is like it is, but you can't change that and is every parent responsability to give the child the tools to be as successful as possible
I think children having too little or too much restrictions can cause a lot of issues/anxiety. On the opposite end, my parents shielded me from too much and didn't give me the opportunity to learn to accept mistakes or failure, which has caused issues as an adult. I think it's gotta be somewhere in the middle.
Ken opens this video tryna say these kids are spoiled but any child of neglect sees it for what it is
im 16 and my parents were like that too. im terrified of moving out because i have no idea how to properly live on my own.
These kids aren’t spoiled, they are *neglected*
There was a time when disease was so out of control that parents didn't even name their kids until a certain age because they didn't want to become too attached in case the kid died. Ken is right, "modern medicine exist for a reason."
They also would Baptize babies because they wanted them to go to heaven if they died and that became a huge problem.
Modern medicine is good just not when it’s about selling unneeded drugs and vaccines
@@Cassxowary I also agree with this, there’s a ton of unnecessary bad medicine but as long as you do your research before putting this stuff in your body you’ll be fine.
Well, they'll learn that the hard way
It was rare to live over 30 pre 1800s
No that’s a great point Ken. As a Christian, growing up in a Christian family, my parents believed that you can’t just “pray” your sickness away. God gave us people with medical gifts that allows us to stay healthy. Pisses me off when people say “all you need is faith”.
your parents are the parents i wish i had. it very much restores my faith in christianity.
A previous pastor of mine worked as a chaplain in a hospital and there was this woman he knew that had cancer who was like that. She would pray to God and say that he would heal her without chemotherapy. She later passed away with that idea
Edit: corrected misspelling
so glad you said that. i’m also Christian, raised in a Christian home, and it frustrates me so much when i hear people say “just pray more!” “you need more faith,” because it insinuates that 1) you dont have enough faith or else you wouldn’t be sick. and 2) God responds only when you “have enough faith” which is so wrong
I’m so glad other people’s parent we’re sane too. Growing up in a Christian household, and being a Christian myself, my parents and I know that God gave people with the skills and opportunities in the medical field to help us in times of sickness. I’ve also seen firsthand, instances where the doctors could not help, and people who have been cured through the power of prayer. That’s a real thing, but so are doctors and other medical professionals. Faith alone can’t cure all your ailments, and that’s why we were blessed with medical professionals.
@@kmjl93 I wouldn't say that faith alone can't cure things I would just say that God isn't restricted in the way He heals people if/when it's in His will to do so. I.e. miracle versus doctors/medicine
I think it's great when kids are raised playing outside, getting dirty etc. But having other social circles (daycare, school), structure, boundaries is important for their development. Ironically, I find mom really controlling and selfish for denying them these things.
She's letting them get dirty
The only difference is that their bodies wont be able to afford it
You’re completely right. I thought the same thing! Also she’s letting the older child breast feed to meet her own emotional needs and that’s controlling and selfish as well.
Totally agree with you. There's a thing she missed for the kids, which i think it's the most helpful value for their future - SELF DISCIPLINE
yeah it’s borderline neglect or abuse in my opinion if you’re setting your child up for failure in the real world.
@@kotah88 man, i would give my kids every opportunity to get ahead in life. the world it tough, and hard, and i feel for these kids who are not prepared for life
I practically raised myself, My mom had thyroid cancer and couldn't help but sleep (Didn't work from when I was 5 till I was 12) and my dad worked nights so he had to sleep all day, and even as a kid I didn't want to wake them because I knew that my dad was the one paying the bills and my mom was sick. But now at 20 years old both parents passed and a child of my own. I'm going to make sure my daughter has a stable life and I'll actually parent her not just let her roam and raise herself as I did. It caused mental health issues for me and there is no way she's going to go through that as well.
Absolutely agree with you Ken. Free-range cool, but still educate your child so they can choose what THEY want in life.
They are choosing their kids futures and lives for them by not even giving them a chance .. as parents we are raising little people to go into the real world eventually. And what gets me SO BAD about these “free range parents” .. THEY ARE VACCINATED !!
@@ERBS_Mommy2019 exactly how I feel. You made an absolute good point.
Yup.
And make sure to put electric fence, there's foxs out there.
ok boomer xD sorry and he meant that as a joke and yes children need to be educated as they have to choose which child labour they'll go to :)
I was home schooled and although I had a great curriculum and my mom was a phenomenal teacher, I had friends like this growing up. I’m talking kids who couldn’t read at 13, who had no bedtime, no rules, etc. And let me tell you, that did not set them up for success. I’m 26 now and I’ve seen them become addicts, go in and out of jail, and be unable to get jobs. It makes me so sad because none of that is their fault.
So so true. God, this explains some of my exes behaviors. He was homeschooled and has absolutely no self-discipline. I was too, but my experience was a little different.
It's so hard to find other sane homeschoolers. I was homeschooled part of my childhood, and am homeschooling my kids but still want them to have social interactions. But it seems like all the other homeschoolers are super religious or they're free range anti-vax nuts. Plus when I tell people I homeschool they instantly assume I'm one of those two groups like no I just want to teach my neurodivergent kid in a way that caters to her learning style!
Yeah, same here. I was homeschooled throughout my life and it was great for me, now I’m in college. I had friends who did great too. But there were a few families who “homeschooled” but didn’t actually teach their kids, and I feel so bad for how far behind those kids are now because of it.
I was homeschooled too and a few things are similar to this family but NOT regarding having no structure for schooling or using no modern medicine. A homeschooled friend told me my experience was like a private school compared to hers! Both of us are doing well academically but I know they are just smarter in general (her older sister was reading thick books at like four years old!); I really appreciated my unique experience with a lot of structure.
@@whossoul I am homeschooled I used to be in a high school but was severely bullied to the point when Covid started I realised I didn’t want to go back to school afterwards. I’m glad that I went to school as I don’t think my mum could’ve taught me to read and write so I’m glad I went to school then was homeschooled in high school
I was raised with basically no parenting. I was coddled my entire life until I moved out. Now I'm 20, and I have zero knowledge of how to be a functioning adult. I have to now raise myself in my early 20s, and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just guessing. I've been at a disadvantage because of it. It's very, very difficult to navigate something you have never been taught to. Don't do this to your children. Please parent them. It makes life sooo much harder on them.
I’m pretty sure everyone’s just guessing 😅
Same w me and it makes life feel like torture
@Lady Green sleeves it's very tough. I'm just very lucky and have a bf who is willing to teach me how to do life shit properly. I wish you the best and I hope you find someone who will teach you too.
My mom didn’t want me to leave her, so she didn’t teach me anything. It sucks. 27 and still learning things I should have learned before I was 20. Trying to learn structure and discipline.
@@TheGuardianssorrow same here. i’m 28 and do not know simple life skills. I have literally told her to her face i don’t even know how to make a simple cup of coffee at public places it’s embarrassing as a woman that’s almost 30. I’m a pre-k teacher and when she tells me they’re too young to learn their names it gets me so angry and I said you baby too much which is why u got two kids that can’t do shit for themselves.
Ex husband was raised almost exactly the same way and he's the first person to champion against this life style. He struggles with emotional control, depression about how 'the real world' is, and cannot hold a job because he finds it difficult to focus and follow any sort of regulation.
Yeah I'm sure he was the first person who ever accomplished that
@@PlatypusMusiqI don’t think they meant like first person ever. I think they meant first person in their family. It’s quite an accomplishment though being raised a certain way and breaking out of it especially being raised THIS WAY
@@PlatypusMusiqinternet comments are just semantics police, y’all are petty. You knew what she meant.
The no routine thing got me, having raised a child, being the eldest of 6 and now having a puppy, I understand the importance of routine. Children LOVE routine! They thrive under a reasonable routine and structure.
Literally 😂 they would get hardly any where without it. Toddlers especially love routine. It’s part of their development.
As a teenager I think I would go insane without a routine, and I know as a kid I felt like I needed that to. They’re very very important
Amen to that. My oldest didn’t do so well when we worked hours all over the shop (some days starting at 6am, others starting at 8pm)
They struggled until we lost our jobs. Took a while but now my husband has a good consistent job where both kids have a proper bedtime/wake up/ meals etc.
they are thriving
No worse nightmare than the thought of my kids routines being thrown out of whack and having to deal with 2 weeks of fucked up sleep
You're right,routine is important. Routine creates a save space. A predictable space. It gives kids and adults peace of mind.. i can't imagine living without routine... not knowing when what is going to happen hahah
I dated a guy who was raised by parents who were religious survivalist/dooms day preppers. He didn't learn how to read or write or most anything when it came to the secular world but he could survive in the wild probably indefinitely. Because of the way his parents raised him he had extreme anxiety and depression, he struggled with the want to connect to modern society but also being so disconnected from it, and he had CPTSD from the religious abuse that came with it and the fact that he never felt like his parents loved or even cared about him and his siblings.
There are ways to teach your kids about the earth and nature and respecting it while also giving them the tools to thrive in modern society. I hope these kids don't develop the same anxiety my ex had. He was a really beautiful person who was wrecked by his childhood.
I didnt have that extreme but my religious mum wouldnt let me socialise essentially and at 36 i still can't.
What a dooms day prep, don't teach the child to read so that they can't read the book on how to do anything and build society back up 👍🏼
Some people shouldn’t have children
Ive watched the show that used to be on. I often think back and wonder how many kids are trapped to this day in bunkers by bonkers parents. Having their best years ruined.
This reminds me of that book “educated” by Tara Westover
Ken: "trust exists on both sides, its just that my kids survival rate is much higher than yours"
Danm Ken
Someone parents differently and Ken freaks out and thinks it's over for that kid.
@@cierralynseventeen2298 these parents are being neglectful, though
@@cierralynseventeen2298This is literally not parenting
Just think of how "free range" kids negatively effect other kids? Those kids don't understand how them not having any responsibilities and no expectations of them make other kids have to pull all the extra weight in all sorts of things because we are social beings and that will follow them all through life and as they become adults the resentment will be a lot more palpable. Adults will make them liable be for such irresponsibility.
Ken has a really good point with the "educating them on the other options", like even my family was about that with religion. Parents were agnostic and grandparents were as well, but they never shyed away from talking to us about religions. Educating in all the options should be a part of the free range type of parenting but it almost never plays a part with families like these.
Being agnostic is being in the middle, searching for answers, being open minded. Unable to believe or not to believe, because there's no solid proof of whatever it is. Mostly it's about God. But being able to take in most of the opinions and theories if they make sense, unless you have found a strong one already.
@@BIOSHOCKFOXX THIS.
More people need to understand that when I say I’m agnostic, it doesn’t mean I believe in zero possibility of a god lmao
There's been "toxic parenting" in every generation, and it isn't always addiction, physical abuse, and neglect. This instance is more toward super mom, organic and homemade, kid empowerment but towards toxic extremes. It's absolutely fascinating when you get below the surface shock of ignorance.
When i told my grandma i was atheist but was spiritual and liked buddhism practices she looked very worried. But she never forced me to go to church. Shes never brought it up again (she is probably praying out her ass sometimes that i get some faith lmaoo but i still am glad that she values my independence enough to let me choose)
I mean most people feel this way, until they disagree with the opinion lol
"We want free and independent children"
...still breastfeeds
...never lets cry
These don't go together.
Yea I thought so as well... if you want to raise independent and free kids you need to give them skills to be so. All of the skills. Physical, mental, emotional... the world isn't going to serve them..
The movement behind not letting your kid cry it out, isn't about not letting you kid cry for the goal of independence. It's about understanding your childs needs and nurturing them from where they are at in development. There is a TON of research in early childhood development that shows that crying it out can have negative long term effects in the brain, including more stress, anger and tendency towards violence. Look into early childhood research coming out from Notre Dame University. I watched a panel they did on the dangers of crying it out method.
@@sophien5416 it's the way they portray it. I never let my kids cry it out. Always reacted to their needs and you're right there is loads of research behind it and I'm totally behind it. Kids don't cry without reason. But as I said it's the way it's portray it..
Absolutely insane and awful and neglective and.....
@@gfdereus8967 good on ya mama! It's not easy (especially at night), but I'm already seeing such a good trend in my own child. Everyone tells me how calm and sweet my son is. Other kids can try to take his toy, for example, and he will be calm and more concerned about comforting the other child during their tantrum.
Those "parents" are making their kids skip the tutorial and are sending them straight to the boss fight at level one. Those poor children. I hope they can handle life as adults.
And life is Dark Souls
@@artorias7933 oh my gawd lmfao
they won’t.
@@artorias7933
To be fair,in that case, the tutorial could only help so much
Yep,checks out
I feel sorry for those kids, you know they're going to have a hard time growing up and probably won't fit in very well in society.
I love it when people equate "natural" with "healthy". Arsenic, belladonna, and nightshade are all ✨natural✨
Exactly!
Also, Idk, things like tetanus for example, that's all ✨ natural ✨
Super healthy 👌
So is cancer 😃
Cyanide is natural. Will still kill you
Rhadium..,girls!!
The original idea behind free-range parenting, was to let children make choices on their own, and they have to accept the consequences without parental intervention. People took it to mean zero boundaries, and that's bonkers
Edited to add: to be fair, I would bet my foot that woman doesn't drink soda.
As an American who lives in the Uk, 99% of soda here has aspartame or some sort of artificial sweetener instead of sugar. I quit soda ever since moving here, I don't blame her.
The Montessori method is exactly that.
You teach the kid how to function and take care of their basic needs so they have it down and can focus on building their knowledge base.
An example of that is with the Montessori method you use glass cups and pitchers so that children understand the consequences of their actions. Being thoughtless leads to broken glass. When you break a glass you clean it up carefully so you don’t hurt yourself. It’s about learning logic. So you start off with simple problems like a broken glass and eventually have an independent child. Example: your child sees the job they want requires a certain resume. They need x amount of volunteer hours and x amount of training to get it they are confident enough in themselves at 16-20 to be able to complete all necessary tasks on their own.
That’s the goal.
I had helicopter parents and they left me with crippling anxiety but I want my kid to have a better life and be better equipped to handle any situation he’s thrown into. I’ve been using the Montessori method and he is a sweet considerate independent child who don’t need no mama. Makes me a little sad but that’s exactly what I raised him to do.
IMHO the comparison with food is off.
And as you already said, I also think that a person as much into nature as her, she won't drink any soda and probably grow their own fruit and veg or try to buy organic.
Some parents get it wrong. They do to the extremes. In turn they create monsters.
There is a balance. They haven't found it..
@@SirSilentSquall because of soda… you think children should do whatever they want? Ight
I feel awful for the kids. They didn’t choose this way of living and if they ever decide to choose differently they are at a severe disadvantage. Limited education, social interaction, heath care, and knowledge of societal “norms”.
Also as a teacher and mandated reporter, I would say the no shoes thing (never wearing them, especially in dangerous areas) is borderline neglect and would be enough to make a report with cps.
It’s not good. You can let kids have fun and run through fields barefoot whilst also making sure they protect their feet in other areas. They aren’t vaccinated, they could get tetanus just from a spiky plant or thorn ffs…
@@bethtinx so dangerous and careless. I LOVED being barefoot as a kid in safe areas + being fully vaccinated. There’s so many ways to let kids connect with nature, and what these parents are doing isn’t one smh
@@kirstendavis6608 If I had a kid, I would teach them about nature, animals and how to interact with cats and dogs. So many kids get bitten by dogs and it infuriates me because it's always the dog who gets the blame and not the kids or adult. I was pretty much the calmest kid around animals as I was the only kid that my grandma's cat allowed me to pet her. The other kids she hissed at them or just ran away cause they pulled her ears or tail. My parents never taught me how to behave around the cat though. Also, I would teach them not to eat every plants as some of them are poisonous.
That way of living is great, they just need good education and medical care and social interactions and structure and no shoes is fine and good in nature and at home not in the city of course
Especially letting the kids eat whatever leaves he finds. What if he gets his hands on poison ivy or poisonous berries?!
Listening to you two guys talk about getting your kids psyched up for reading and writing. I just love it. You're 100 on being excited for your kids crappy looking letter A and saying good job and seeing them try more to just be better... that's how my parents were and still are in every accedemic adventure i take. :) life leaners begins as learning lovers.
It’s amazing to see how different people are raised. Or in this case not raised.
Farmed?
@@ZubairAhmed-yw5zg farmed would work. 😂😂😂
I thought I saw someone trying to deconstruct this joke for a moment, I guess he's gone now LOL.
True
Lowered
My parents weren't this bad, but we're very hands off when it came to parenting too. I gotta say, it sucked figuring out basic living skills in my 20s.
What kind of living skills did you struggle with?
Actual same 🙊
I think most people go through this shit, regardless of how much structure your parents gave you. Your 20s is a rough time for a lot of people. The problem is that the structure that your parents impose on you is imposed by them. You are not doing it of your own volition so you're not guaranteed to keep doing it when you leave home. The ideal situation is to have your kids understand that shit needs to get done and why it needs to get done. Set realistic consequences for action and inaction. If you understand that, you're going to do what you need to do.
You still might ne better off than extremely sheltered kids who had everything paid for them up until they graduate uni or college.
@@TallicaMan1986 both are equally damaging. One is severe neglect causing trust and emotional dependency issues (avoidant disorder) and the other doesn't allow the child to make decisions and be self confident.
I love seeing Ken get triggered about how people raise their kids... such a dad.
I have really bad ADHD, and it's something I've struggled with for all of my life. I'm 20 years old now and I still struggle with it. From university, to work, to my social life and then even to my relationships it has caused me a lot of difficulties. If I had grown up without a schedule, without discipline and without organisation I would struggle 100 times more.
Even now, as an adult who's probably able to be independent. I'm well aware that my 'success' in life still depends on me being organised, and diligent. I will always need a set schedule.
This just seems so disastrous to me, because even adults need organisation and scheduling. Let alone children. This kids are not being taught how to be adults and whilst it may seem freeing, it's so detrimental
This is what I was thinking, like I was raised military, my parents had to pretty much be forced by the school to get me evaluated when I was 11. Turns out I’m autistic and have ADHD, and life, school, work, genuinely can be a huge mess inside of your head you don’t feel like you can escape from… but having parents in the military they were very good at structure, work ethic, self discipline, and without their rigid upbringing in those ways I probably wouldn’t be even half as productive in adulthood…. I see these kinds of parents and all I can think is “those poor kids are gonna get eaten alive in the real world…..”
I personally feel like “letting my child choose” is irresponsible and kinda lazy because part of being a parent is helping a kid guide their choices because they don’t know any better yet. You HAVE to take that role of making certain decisions for them. Not everything can be left for them to learn on their own.
Like imagine how many dead kids we’d have if we let kids do what they want.
You need yo guide them to make better choices and always explain the reasons why, never "because I said so"
That's why I hate parents like in these videos because they take things too far. Letting kids make choices can be very beneficial. In the 2-3 age range where kids get very defiant giving them a choice between two predetermined options (like do you want cereal or a waffle for breakfast) is great because it gives them a sense of the control and independence they want and makes for less tantrums. As they get older letting them make small choices and experience the consequences teaches them way better than lecturing ever could (ie letting them choose to not clean up the toys in their room then they step on a Lego and see why it's important to pick them up). It sinks in way more when they get to experience the consequences themselves vs being told about mythical consequences they've never experienced. It really drives home a sense of responsibility, that what they do has a very real impact on their life, and why making the right choice is important. What these parents are missing is that you need to give them choices in a controlled environment where their choices can't pose a serious risk to themselves.
Absolutely! Couldn’t have been said any better
It's a shame my brother is doing this. My brother and I found out some disturbing news about our dad of sexually assaulting women, statutory rape, and abusing/selling drugs and he's having his daughter choose whether to be babysat by him or not. Completely irresponsible and dangerous.
When I was little, I thought playing with the rabid and aggressive cat that roamed my neighborhood was a great idea. I also only wanted to live off of fruit loops and chocolate milk. I also have four daughters and twins on the way. My girls think the most dangerous things are perfectly good ideas. Kids have no idea what they’re doing. They need parents to teach and guide them.
"Ok, nevermind! They're just stupid!" LMAO Ken was trying so hard to be openminded and holding his snarkiness and disdain for these people until he couldn't take it anymore lol
Yea, the fact that he had to try SO hard to be "open-minded"...almost makes me want to unsubscribe
@@rachellesparks576 Its hard not to make fun of people this idiotic. Is making fun of people not okay now?
@@rachellesparks576 go ahead, unsubscribe. But that’s Ken’s opinion.
I'm not sorry for being open minded lol Close minded ppl are missing out.
sparks atleast he's trying, it's better than not trying.
“Ah, they’re hippies.” Ken summed up the entire video in 3 words. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
There were these Amish chicks near me who were in the store sharing their Instagram tags. Like huuuuh?
I remember people thinking I had a strict childhood because my parents taught me how to do laundry and cook for myself by age 11. Sure there were days like, ugh why do I need to do my laundry, but it made my adult life easier. It's important to teach these things.
When I left for college, I was good. Knew how to cook, clean, do laundry, no big deal. My first week I did laundry in the dorm, there were so many people freaking out cause they never did it. Clothes would shrink or colors would bleed. I told them what they did wrong and how to fix it, and they were just so surprised. I would see people leave for the weekend or holidays and they have BAGS of their laundry for their parents to wash, like wow.
I am so thankfully for the lessons my parents taught me to make my adult life so easy.
When my daughter went to uni her house mate didn't even know how to clean a toilet
I was allowed to walk around without shoes, eat leaves, climb trees, use knives to build things etc when I was a kids. Often with very little supervision, if any. I could explore and learn like her kids can.
HOWEVER, I also went to school, and used modern medicine when needed (although certainly didn’t have over reactive parents like I often see as a doctor).
I basically grew up how kids in the 70’s did, but I did it in the early 2000’s. You can let your child develop as a person whilst still being a good parent
Same here
Same here, parents also encouraged me, my brother and my friends to do that. Like being 8-9 years old, we played in the forest, fields all without supervision.
Same, but that’s also not usual here as I don’t live in the us
We’re homeschooled and we garden, but we have RULES and we have to READ.
Yup, exposure to hookworm, herpes, measles and polio is a great way to encourage your kids to...make it adulthood.
This ancestors argument...
Infant mortality was very high.. Children surviving to adulthood was low...
Both my parents lost siblings to "simple" diseases as kids
Everyone wants to live long, but if you talk to these 90+ individuals they survived through a lot, and also lost a of people they cared about along the way
Everyone has a right to live how they want to
But just like they said, we have modern medicine for a reason 🤷🏾♀️
Exactly! My dad lost one of his sister's very young because she died from chicken pox. Modern medicine is such an amazing resource
True and this affects the children’s lives I’m sure if they could understand they would rather choose to have the essential tools medicine and shoes if it would lower their chances of dying
This!! God bless modern medicine!!
Yes, and sometimes you might think you'll get through a birth just fine but.........
Over a hundred years ago women in labor set out burial clothing for themselves as they knew they might very well never survive childbirth .
Also, that argument - our ancestors were gatherers and hunters... Well, our ancestors were also ruthless warriors. They had to constantly fight for territory. We live in different times. Yes, it is good to teach city kids old-style living, like growing your food, but we have our luxuries for a reason. They come from bad human experience, which we have learnt to avoid with medicine, pasteurisation and other technologies.
7 years from now that boy will be on my strange addiction trying to cut down to eating 3 trees a year.
I mean I know we aren’t supposed to judge other parents for how they raise their kids but…..kids need structure and a routine if they run around and do whatever they want then they will just have no discipline or anything like that.
Hell, I need structure and routine to function properly. No “Free range adult” would ever make it in life . You need to have discipline
It’s nothing wrong with “judging” parents when it comes to accountability, especially when kids are involved in my honest opinion.
Why are we not supposed to "judge" other parents for how they raise their kids? That's one of the primary roles of a society: protecting children.
It’s okay in this case, coz they don’t parent their kids, they allow them to exist
@@evannunsince9357 you'll be surprised how many people, particularly women, will get all up in arms and offended if you offer some parenting advice and they basically say "Who are you to tell me how to raise my kid?" people get really definitive about parenting.
I’m confused. Isn’t the way that they’re parenting their kids with the “free range parenting” actually teaching their kids to be more dependent instead of independent? With not weaning the kids, not allowing them to go to school, denying their children certain life options? I think kids need a little structure, not to force parental control, but to teach and encourage healthy growth.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Keeping the kids dependent on mom and not letting them learn physical or emotional independence. Then isolating them from socializing with other kids/people. Then giving them options that are safe with healthy natural consequences. Letting their kids fall gently and learn to pick themselves back up so they gain self confidence. What they are doing is keeping the kids dependent on them completely and it does not go well past approx age 10 because I've seen it before.
Yes, because they found the name of a parenting technique and stole it to describe and try to legitimize their bold dysfunction.
Actual free range parenting is something like: teach the three year old when her tummy gets full and when she’s hungry, fill a basket she can reach with health snacks, and teach her to self govern snacking. Or a teen has a social problem at school and comes to you complaining, you ask them how they want to solve it and strategize and problem solve with them until they feel confident that it’s right. Then check with them everyday after school to see how it’s going and if there’s need of your intervention. As far as I can tell, free range parenting strategy has nothing to do with this couple.
@@Lizzard2060 it’s a really insidious form of emotional abuse to deprive children of social interaction and fully force them to depend on family alone. It’s developmentally inappropriate and contrary to their curiosity and expected stage of language and skill acquisition.
I really hate that she’s doing that to her kids, who would benefit from knowing how to have friends and talk to them regardless of anyone’s parenting style.
That kind of insular behavior of depriving children of social contact outside of the “group” is also a cult grooming behavior. They’re not a cult, but I just think having things in common with cults is not great.
Yes, instead of raising their kids to be independent & think critically about the world around them, the parents are catering to every need, creating kids that will expect everyone else in the world to drop everything to help them do basic functions
They are just neglecting their children and justifying it by claiming several different parenting philosophy without following any of those parenting philosophies. Free range parenting teaches independence with "safe dangers" and unschooling is taking the child's interest into account when teaching neither of those are what she's doing.
As a foster, adoptive and biological parent; children thrive on structure and boundaries. They don’t have to wonder or worry. Their routine soothes them and takes out the uncertainty of the world outside of the home.
Your breast milk will make antibiotics if it knows your baby needs it. So it can heal/help heal your breastfeeding child. Still go to the doctor if your baby is sick!
For the skeptics. One of the most fascinating features of breastmilk is that not only does it change when the mother gets unwell, but it can also work in the other direction. This means when your baby is suffering from an infection, the breastmilk can change its composition to respond to baby’s needs and tailor its properties to help fight the microbes.
It is simply passive immunity from breastmilk. It is your antibodies from pathogens you have faced and they are always present in the breast milk. Your body doesn't suddenly turn on antibodies in milk because it can sense your baby is sick and it doesn't make it special to heal your baby. However, it is wonderful for the baby's health since they start with very few antibodies and an ineffective immune system.
Also it is not enough to actively treat a sick infant, only to help support their own immune function. So agreed that sick children need to go to the doctor
@@somethinginthenothing thanks, was looking for someone with a medically accurate description. Some moms think that breast milk is a solution to all ails… and it’s not. It’s an incredible body fluid and very important, but it’s not many of the things that it’s claimed to be.
@@somethinginthenothing thanks I was very confused by "your breast milk will make antibiotics for your baby if it knows it needs it" it knows?? Breastmilk knows things?
I agreed with the first half of your comment, but the claims you make about breastmilk are just complete bs.
@@somethinginthenothing Yes it does. It is called retrograde milk flow.
My wife (who studied medicine for several years) explained the breast milk thing to me. If I remember correctly, a mother's breast milk contains antibodies. So if a child gets sick, the best thing for them is to breast feed. But I'm pretty sure it would only work for a mother and their own child so that those antibodies are present and can do their job.
The mother also needs to have a good immune system and be healthy for this to work. Antibodies are created by a well functioning immune system, which these hippies obviously don't have. What I'm trying to say is that mother is probably so sickly (you can just tell looking at her) that any antibodies she is creating are so bad that they will barely help the child at all.
Speaking from experience:
I am now 23 years old and growing up my life was hectic and i had very little guidance in a lot of areas such as cleaning, hygiene, set schedules, waking up, etc… and because of that my transition to adulthood has smacked me in the face realizing that on top of trying to take care of myself, I am- at 23 years, old having to learn the basics of life because my parents didn’t teach me. Yeah… it’s a horrible parenting style.
There needs to be a balance. Like ken said, if someone wants to let their kids be free range then they should still teach them everything there is to know. I agree with some of the things the family does. I agree breastmilk is great for a child but once they learn to communicate, don't let them cry and just give them that. I also agree that the cry it out method is not a great method, in my opinion. It just doesn't seem right and I don't think I would be able to let my child do that. I think people should vaccinate their children and give them a set schedule that they can adapt to. If someone lets their child think they can over rule them, then life as a parent can be 10x harder. Over all, teaching and communicating with the child is the best thing to do, no matter what someone chooses to do with their life and their child's life.
I grew up learning to communicate with my parent instead of just crying and them giving me positive things for it. I was also homeschooled and as far as it got me in life, I wish I would've been in school to get social interaction with children my age. I hardly socialize and it is hard for me to find a job because I didn't learn to socialize in bigger groups. I tend to get very nervous and find someone who is older and ask them to help me when I need to talk to people. Other than that, I learned a lot of things that still help me to this day.
I was also homeschooled and I relate completely to having trouble with people my own age. I also feel better around someone older than me and my whole life my friends have consisted of people 10-20 years older
@@echo1336A I wasn't homeschooled, but my family were immigrants and we had a very different childhood than most people. I too relate very strongly with people older than myself, and currently my bf is 27 years older than me and I wouldn't have it any other way.
To be fair, i went to school and have the same problems socializing, but i can definitely see how being homeschooled would raise the chances of that happening
The cry out method seems absolutely terrible for a LITERAL baby in the cradle, and will not at all lead to attachment issues later for the poor Tot. This method should be used sparingly towards the training years.
Doctors going thru 8 years of college to trick middle aged woman to stab their children 😏
My mom homeschooled my siblings because of my brother, we’re pretty sure he’s autistic since he had so many special interests and sensory issues, but it helped a lot to be able to follow the children in what they were interested in, because otherwise they wouldn’t listen and would have not done well in public or private school. He’s a teacher now in Oakland and has done very well for himself (he just had his first kid, the first of all of us).
Glad things worked out for your brother.
Yay love a happy ending 💜 my fiancé is autistic as well an he was homeschooled he’s incredibly intelligent too
Homeschooling is a great option for a lot of kids! I was homeschooled from 1st grade up until college and I loved it. My brother hated it, by high school he went to a private academy instead because it just didn't work for him. It all depends on the kid's needs, personality, and learning style. I don't like large groups of people and I like working on my own time so being homeschooled improved my learning. I did all four years of high school in nine months, published a book, completed three college career courses, and took two years of Japanese classes before I turned eighteen, which I never could have done in public school.
@@MaybeMockingbird i-
You've won. You are the Renaissance man.
@@MaybeMockingbird I think all kids should try normal school first and then decide together with the parents if they'd do better being homeschooled, socially, psychologically and academically. Also idk about the US but considering the curriculas of schools, especially high schools, literally no parent would be able to teach you any of that thus leaving you unprepared for university. Maybe it's different in the US tho regarding entrance exams.
This should be considered child abuse
I never see this mentioned in the shows about free-range parenting or living if the grid and all that. But I wonder how often people try to appreciate the level of privilege that they have to be able to opt-out of experiences & structures other people wish they had.
For example - she felt generally healthy enough to opt out of any medical help to give birth. Which means she likely had a pretty healthy childhood & pretty normal pregnancy. So many people wouldn't have that option even if they wanted it!
These people are seriously lacking in self awareness so your point would be completely lost on them. Not only that, but they are probably very low IQ as well and suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect. They think they have all of the answers. Stupidity is a curse and a plague.
Also, imagine the privilege that you have to pull your children out of school when parents in other countries are struggling to keep their children IN school.
You can't really be sure your pregnancy is going well or you ARE healthy if you don't seek prenatal care, which I am guessing she may have avoided in this. Additionally, you can have a super healthy pregnancy and hemorrhage after birthing baby to death. You can't really "feel" that happen, and the Dunning Kruger effect of having all the answers is 100% true here.
Free range parenting is designed to allow your kids to fail safely. My munchkin is very hard headed, independent, and confident. She really only learns from he own failures so this is something we've had to embrace. It does NOT mean letting your kids go around without structure or rules. These folks are just insane.
I think free range from your perspective is closer to gentle parenting.
Hey, thanks for this. I had to Google what "free range parenting" was. It sounds like a great way to raise kids. These people just went overboard.
Insane...yeah you got that right 🤨🙄
@@Josie-6If that isn't free range than what is, Anarchy??
So are you if you think it's okay for your child to be stubborn and not listen to you it's great for them to be independent but if they don't take ur advice your doing something super wrong
Ken, don’t feel bad for ranting on this topic! Your subscribers watch your videos to listen to what you and Buff have to say. It’s nice watching you be so passionate about a video you’re watching. I’m not a parent yet, so I’m learning more on the type of parents skills I would like to use/have by watching this video.
the rants are the best part !
I love his parent videos! He and Mary seem like they're raising their kids functionally and happy. Its nice to see that when me and a lot of people I know didn't have that growing up
100% I’m tryna hear all that rambling
Kids just like that positive reinforcement. They need that schedule and routine. I'm a teacher, and I've gone into several classrooms that were nuts. Just crazy. I get in there, write out a schedule I feel would suit all the kids, and they implement it. Ken is 100% right. It's hard at first, but once their bodies get used to it, it's an easier time. They know what to expect, less anxious because it isn't impredicable. Kids like to know what's going to happen. If they usually color at 11am, they know around that time, even if they can't tell time, their body knows, that it's time to color. If they eat around 12pm, they will get hungry around that time. It's a process, but you have to be willing to follow through with the process.
When I was in the hospital giving birth to my (now 5 year old) daughter, the doctor on duty straight up asked me if I 1) wanted a mirror to watch the birth, and 2) if I wanted the placenta.
No, lady. Get this child out of me, and quit asking me if I want my placenta.
Edit: I also wanted to point out that while her children are barefoot, mom is wearing $100 USD Birkenstock sandals.
These people's parenting can be summed up easily as "I can't be bothered".
Ken is absolutely a great dad. I love his dad conversations. Makes me feel less strict. His kids are so lucky to have him
Breastfeeding is actually only shown to be good for kids upto a certain age. I think once they’re 2 or 3, at that point they’re very capable of developing their own immune systems and getting the nutrients they need. Also it can cause psychological problems including severe separation anxiety and becoming way too attached to the mother.
I think your religious take is right - I'm pretty religious (being from Arkansas and everything) and I think modern medicine is like God's answer to a lot of people's prayers about their health. And there's the one quote from like Benjamin Franklin (I think) that says, "God helps those who help themselves". My parents are pretty hardcore, old-fashioned, traditionally religious and throughout my life, I've got them on to that line of thinking. I remember saying that relying on modern medicine doesn't show a "lack of faith" or anything like that - pray and have faith but realize that doctors and medicine are/could be the answer to that prayer. I don't know why some Christians/religious people don't believe in science and/or medicine - I'm a Christian and I'm down with science. I think God and science complement each other.
Absolutely LOVE this comment!!! ❤️❤️ God and science are in no way mutually exclusive.
I agree fullheartedly with this comment.
If someone believes in God, but doesn't believe that God gave enough brains to people to develope medicines and cures for illnesses, then do they really believe?
Science is just an explanation of how the world works
I had a science teacher once say "whether you turn to science or religion for your questions, you have to believe in a little bit of both for your answers." And while I am not, nor have ever been, religious and look to science when I have a question, I think he was entirely right.
To believe in religion without any science is like saying you dont believe it's your higher power's will to use the intelligence and resources we were given by them to succeed, thrive and progress.
Alternatively, to believe in science without entertaining the idea that there may be some unknown and yet undiscovered force in the universe that would explain why something is the way it is, would be unscientific and illogical because everyday we discover something new and unknown about our world.
Well said.
She thinks letting them cry is neglect but the way she’s raising her kids is neglect/abuse behavior. Ugh I agree not everyone deserves kids.
The cry it out method is neglect as well though. It's also completely unfounded, it was just some guys theory that become the way for some reason, but research shows the baby never actually self soothes, they just continue to panic until they wear themselves out and fall asleep.
but yeah no vaccines and the barefoot in public where they don't know what's on the ground and such is neglect too
AMEN
@@PaxxTan yep, it teaches a child from an early age to detach emotionally from their parents as their needs are not being met. The child will typically develop a personality disorder like avoidance or preoccupied personality disorder. Sad.
The cry it out method causes trauma that leads to the children having attachment issues their entire life!!
Medicines: ❌
School Routines: ❌
Bed times: ❌
Sickest looking tire swing known to man: ✅
as a teenager (15 M): Letting kids be independent is a very important thing, and it helps them in the future, that being said, it is important in any stage of your life to be organized and have a routine because without one you will find yourself lost, for example: maybe try to wake up and go to bed at certain times, choose to take a shower before or after a meal like lunch, breakfast, or dinner. the TL;DR of this is Organization and Routine is just as important as Independence.
As someone with ADD, depression, and anxiety, I can assure you, as dark as it is, if I lived as a "free-range" child I would not be alive at age 21. If I didn't have structure I would get nothing done. WIth no medication, i.e. anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications, and ADD meds, I would not have decided to continue living. Not to mention I needed life-saving surgery as a baby so I'd be dead before all this impacted me anyway. Not giving kids medicine is abuse and this really pissses me off
Agreed 100% demonizing medication is a form of ableism - discriminating against people with disabilities for having them.
Medication is a valid and wonderful tool that we should all feel very grateful for. And if you don’t need it? Feel even more grateful that your body is moving neurotransmitters and hormones and has normal anatomical structure and doesn’t need physical supports, etc etc etc.
There's a golden middle between smothering your kids and having zero supervision. Neither of those extremes are healthy. In either case, you end up with adults who are unable to take care of themselves.
The whole point of routine, structure and schooling, is that children to some extent learn to be self sufficient. No school system is perfect and I'm the first person to acknowledge that, but it does provide stability and opens up for opportunities later in life. This type of "parenting" (neglect really) will only contribute to your kids being ostracised later. Is that really what they want for their kids?
as nice as not having a routine is, it really was to my detriment as an adult. real life requires deadlines and schedules and the ability to adapt and i have such a hard time with it. i wish these kids the best, though. hopefully this change of pace in the working environment (self employment, freelance content style) is to their benefit.
Same. As a child I would go to school because I wanted to not because I was made. I remember there was a week where I stayed in my backyard because I thought I was a wild Indian and literally ate grass and hose water for a week and wasn’t told not to. I have a hard time as an adult now not to isolate and drift into fantasy
My dad is a military man and I had a scheduled since I was born. Now I have my own job and home. I know how to maintain my home from cooking to cleaning to fixing and building. I worked with electricity from the age of 15 I made my own computer desk at 19 and did flour and bathroom renovations at 21. So thanks to him I don't have to depend on a man, on a parent or a worker to get something done. I can pay to get something done but why would I for example play to build my bedroom when I can design it and build it the way I want to :D . So proud of mom and dad thank you
My dad has always said “if you don’t teach your children the state will sooner or later”. please prepare your kids for the real world.
A lots of kids/parents don’t have access to modern medicine or school or food specially in other countries and it’s sad seeing these people take advantage of what they’re privileged to have
They are willfully shunning what other parents would give the world for their child to have an opportunity to possibly have.
@@deltasaves you said it best. It’s so… condescending? Arrogant? Absurd? All of the above.
it seems that Ken and Buff are missing spending some in person time together and miss having a chance to just chat on their own off camera. They seem to be chit chatting and telling more personal stories on camera more than ever before. I like it.
I agree! I like it too and it feels almost more intimate.
It’s very sweet watching both of you talk about being dads and encouraging your kids even though their writing might stink right now. 😂 all part of the job. 😂 love it!!
There should be some structure, even with the "free range". Like take their age/development in mind wheb you do. You wouldn't let your 6 year old go to the store by themselves just because your 11 year old can do that.
My nephew is a good example for why I think kids need some structure or rules growing up. He was decently well behaved whenever I babysat him and his older sister, UNLESS, they'd just been at their dads place, where their grandma spoiled him rotten. He could get away with stuff, but she'd yell at his sister for the same thing. And when I was watching them after, he was such a little sh*t, "I don't need to listen too you/You're not my mom", even though my sister would tell them that I was in charge and what I said goes. The amount of times I had to throw him into his room for being a brat and misbehaving is still giving me a headache.
As a child that needed structure to function like a calm normal kid( because ADHD) this is dreadful how can you not have a bedtime no routine nothing damn those kids need some parenting
Or maybe this channel isn't being self monitored enough and the things these guys say are actually promoting judgmental and ignorant thoughts in guise of reaction videos.
Some of the things these guys say are straight up damaging. I get having a natural response to things but it's the action you have afterwards that should be a reflection of your true thoughts. So I'm glad they're not just leaving it off fully judgmental since they do reflect on what they say occasionally. But these guys are already at ages where they should have already been conscious of their actions.
You can see the way people latch on to certain things they say that are harmful and it can be further exasperated by their comments too. Though hey, it's not as bad as the jamari channel tho, that dude is incredibly sloppy and promotes an aggressively ignorant following.
As a person with ADHD, I was confused as well as to how these kids function without structure. I have always lacked internal structure, and it’s such a source of stress.
@@privateemail9755 or perhaps it's you who is throwing prejudices on the channel. Or maybe this prejudice is being towards to those who follow this channel, that you're trying to imply that we don't have enough capacity to think for ourselves, that we don't know how to think critically. But hey they're just expressing their reaction just as much as you did. So I guess it's only fair to say that it's better to keep things real and to not filter ourselves just because it could possibly offend someone out there.
@@tealablu3759 you ever get that i wouldnt describe it as anxiety but more of a everything must be rushed feeling when you have no structure everytime i had no structure i would be irritated as hell because of it good to see im not the only one
@@tealablu3759 or i had to eat at exactly at 6:30 pm othereise i would get cranky
Interesting thing I learned during my psychology degree is that parenting is measured on two dimensions: warm and control.
Low warmth, high control = authoritarian, typically abusive
Low warmth, low control = neglect
High warmth, high control = authoritative, children have best developmental outcomes.
High warmth, low control = permissive
Authoritative (warm and structured) parenting is consistently found to be most effective for children's health and wellbeing
Love this breakdown and explanation 🙏🦋
Thank you I remember learning about these way back but could never remember permissive 😂.
You mean democratic parenting
Interesting, thanks.
and these people literally have high warmth and no control 😂😂
The Cry Out method was the best think I ever did as a parent. My daughter cried for a total of 15 mins. It took ONE NIGHT. Now it’s two years later and ever since that night she’s put herself to sleep every night!
Don't apologize for the rambles. It's what I find most appealing about the reaction videos. I enjoy that you add your own thoughts and takes and then expand upon it with your own insights and experiences. Way better than just watching the video and chuckling every now and then or stating the obvious like many other reaction channels.
I came to hear you guy's insights and perspective on each video and topic. If I didn't like the commentary then I could very easily just go to the video and watch it myself. Keep doing what yall are doing Ken and Buff, I could listen to the rambles all day!
If I had a kid I don’t think I’d have a “traditional” way of raising my kid, however boundaries and structure are super important for any child. Also not taking them to a doctor is very VERY irresponsible.
Edit: NO SHOES ON THE KIDS IN A CITY 😡!!! Pin worms and those kids are not vaccinated for tetanus! One rusty nail and they could die!
Not to mention needles!
Tetanus isn’t from rust it’s is from faecal matter (even though that’s on animal products to begin with) and saliva, puncture wounds, crushing-related injuries, burns, or from injuries that have dead tissue but yah
@@Cassxowary no..tetani can live in soil and dust as well. any open environment where it can entire a wound.
It is not limited to fecal mater. And it is rare. BECAUSE OF the vaccine's success rate.
There's definitely a middle ground! I'm a preschool teacher with a degree in childhood development and "traditional" methods are often very wrong in the context of evidence based practices, but these people take it too far the opposite way. I would look up gentle parenting, it's very evidence based and still stresses important things like structure while moving away from things like senseless discipline.
Interesting thing I learned during my psychology degree is that parenting is measured on two dimensions: warm and control.
Low warmth, high control = authoritarian, typically abusive
Low warmth, low control = neglect
High warmth, high control = authoritative, children have best developmental outcomes.
High warmth, low control = permissive
Authoritative (warm and structured) parenting is consistently found to be most effective for children's health and wellbeing
Growing up, my dad was a surgeon and my mom was a naturopath healer. It taught me that the centuries' old medical techniques are useful when combined with modern medicine. One cannot totally replace the other. For example, Eucalyptus essential oil and my albuterol inhaler are both incredibly helpful for treating my asthma, and I wouldn't want to diminish the value of either of them!
Some of the old medical techniques are useful when combined with modern medicine...
You wouldn't want to bloodlet something that already has low blood volume to try and treat an infection after all...
sorry off topic but you’re so pretty
I agree, there are century old home remedies that are used and recommended for a reason. Used with much success on non emergent medical ailments though. Because as an asthmatic myself I know its the albuterol that will save my life should an asthma attack occur, but eucalyptus and peppermint have been soothing in between.
@@a_d3mon blood letting definitely wasn't what she used as an example thou. It was tried and obviously proven to be doing more harm than good.
@@easiestpeasiet I know. I was clarifying more to make a point that not ALL old medical practices were good
I'm late to this video but I actually really loved listening to Ken's parenting rants! I would love to see Mary react to this video as well!
You’re right about being able to excite kids into doing anything. I know this firsthand, but a perfect example is a video I seen not too long ago. A guy woke his daughter up to by telling her the grass was growing lol. He was so pumped about it, she jumped right outta bed to go watch the grass grow lol.
I don’t want children personally, but I give props to all parents out there. It seems very difficult to become a parent and you really can’t just skate around it like other things in life. You have to put in the effort so your child can learn and grow. They rely on you to teach them so they can function when they get into the real world.
I would give it a most, not all
I really think parents that want to home school their children should have to pass mandatory exams to make sure they are able to teach.
As someone raised wild, I can confirm it has been very very hard acclimating to being an adult in this society…
Structure ,routine , authority…I’ve had to teach myself to reap
its not about making a happy kid, thats easy. its about making sure they can be happy when they arent a kid anymore and life starts beating them up
See, my idea of free range parenting is allowing my child to do tasks on their own (supervised of course). Like allowing them to try tie their own shoes or putting away their clothes or trying to make their own food or drinks. Not interfering unless asked for help. Kids can do so much! It’s hard to let them take their time to figure out how things work, cause it’s easier to just do it for them- but they are so amazing when left to their own devices.
I think that’s what the term actually is designed and used to mean in most cases. These people are just taking advantage of the term to try to legitimize their parenting style.
I think that is the good way to do it
That's more in line with the Montessori philosophy free range has limited adult supervision with what is reasonable for their age/skill levels. Not much is reasonable for their ages.
How about just raising your kid normally so it can grow into a decent adult human beeing damn you people man..
@@sirweebs2914 you must be the one who grew up not doing chores if you don’t agree with what these people are saying.
i friggin lost it when Ken said "Our ways are the exact same, only my kids have a much higher survival rate." lol
me and my boyfriend grew up in very different ways.
my parents were always very protective , i barely ever went outside to play during weekends, when school finished i always had to go home right after, hell i didn’t even learn how to ride a bike until about two months ago (i’m now 22). my dad especially was very rough when it came to our education and school paths. if we brought home bad grades me and my sis knew we’d be getting a slap or two. so that kinda generated a lot of fear and maybe a bit of sadness in the relationship between us and our dad from him being so rough on us. if we brought home good grades we’d get nothing but a “you did nothing but your job” so we never got praised, asking to go out with friends at the ages of 14-16? hell nah.
i could only start going to the beach with friends (which was a 20m train ride away from our house) after i got a boyfriend because he’d come along, otherwise according to my mom the train is “super dangerous “ when Lisbon IS LITERALLY SUPER SAFE (??????????????)
my parents are very old-schooled maybe because they were parents so young. my mom intentionally got pregnant with my sis at the age of 16 and my dad was 18… so… yea…
now my boyfriends parents… they’re kinda hippies too. but my boyfriend at least had some rules, not like these kids. he didn’t get vaccinated bc my in-laws don’t believe in that stuff i think? (even tho they’re scientists themselves), his bedtime was around 11pm/12am on week days whereas mine was 9:30pm/10pm (i’d sometimes have to beg my dad to finish watching a show before bed), his dad was a big gamer soooo he grew up also doing that and having that addiction xD as an adult he struggles a lot with having a good sleep schedule… it used to be worse like going to sleep at 5am and having to wake up to go to school at 7:30am or something like that. now he usually falls asleep around 2am and wakes up at 8:45am so it’s better. because he also used to just sleep all day after going to bed at 8am :/ but the general idea is that his parents are very free with these things and never really cared for his school path like homework (he never did it but they never cared anyway), he’d avoid doing school projects, slept through all the classes etc. and was almost never grounded 😅 so yea… we’re very different nowadays! i somehow have kept my sleep schedule intact, im 22yo and i start falling asleep at 10:30pm bc that’s how it’s always been, whereas he’s good all night xD he goes to sleep much earlier because we have already talked about how it’s not good for him and he’s been trying to improve that part!
Bruh I was technically a “free range kid” because I grew up with a very sick mother, and bro- the amount of mental health issues I suffer from because of it-
This is just a more covert form of forced parentification. Making children parent themselves means that they will never be able to just be kids. They will always be stuck being a parent.
Structure for children is not just structure but a form of comfort, reassurance and nurturing.
I’m really interested to know what the parents are hoping for for their kid’s futures.
How will their kid earn money? Will they get a job? How will they know their future employer will let them do what they feel like doing?
Will they start their own business? How will they ensure a steady income if they just do whatever they feel like doing?
There are loads of examples for this. Nothing is guaranteed in life, but I feel like it’s risking your child being put at a disadvantage for certain things. The outside world isn’t free range, and who knows if it will be in the future?
Idk, I feel like raising your child to be “free range” comes from a place of privilege
They live in England - they don't have to! The benefits system is overwhelmed by these types.
“some people see it as child abuse” pretty sure most people do..
I feel so sorry for the kids and i hope they will find friends who are willing to teach them the stuff that their ignorant parents clearly won’t do.
Danes daughter asking permission to nap is so precious 🥹
Parents: The Cry-It-Out method is a form of child abuse.
Also parents: Pfffft, my kids don't need shoes.
Also I feel like the cry it out method is pretty "natural" tbh
@@ninas8210 I'm 21 years old and still cry it out. Helps me relieve stress and get a good nappy nap in
Parenting, like everything in life, is about balance. My kid can go play in the backyard or the woods but if its cold she has a jacket on. When she's sick she gets herbal tea, Tylenol and cough syrup. She's in bed on time for schoolnights but occasionally on weekends we stay up late playing games together or watching movies. Vaccinate your crotch goblins!
My babies are 20 & 22 and I come from your school of parenting 👏🏻
Eww ...I was with you until you referred to them as crotch goblins...that's gross ma'am.
Completely agree.
Indeed. Vaccinate the crotch goblins! :D
@@Prophezora lol I mean, have you seen a freshly born baby? They are gross and look like little angry goblins 🤣 at lest til they are cleaned up
Not cutting the cord until it falls off is known as a lotus birth. However, I work for a hospital and women who want lotus births are not allowed at the hospital i work for bc it increases the risk of infection to the baby as the placenta decays. It is not medically advised and has no health benefits to not cut the cord
I was just thinking, how unsanitary that practice is. 😵💫
And animals always rip it off because its dangerous to be encumbered like that. It's really not natural.
Most mammals cut the umbilical cord, even cats and dogs bite through it, it is natural to cut it. Apparently "Lotus Births" are a thing now. They dont cut the cord, they wait for the placenta to come out, then they put it in a bag with herbs and salt and carry it around with the baby until it falls off. The worst part of that is that the umbilical cord seals off naturally after about an hour after being born anyway, so it isnt doing anything, which means not cutting it or carrying around the placenta in a bag, does nothing, so they are better off cutting it.
My mum used to read to us every night from baby days. I taught myself to read at age 3 by asking her what all the letters mean because I loved her reading to us so much. Luckily my language is spelled phonetically. I think English would've been more difficult to teach myself! She should absolutely get her kids interested in reading
May I ask what ur first language is?
@@harperlane3936 Afrikaans
Teaching English is so hard! I homeschool my kid and it's made me realize how ridiculous our language is because you learn these rules but then it says BTW there's also all these other words that don't follow those rules and there's no rule to know when you do and don't follow those rules you just have to memorize which words follow which rules.
@@whossoul I'm dreading teaching my child English spelling oneday! I don't remember how I learnt it. I could read English before we started doing English at school at age 9.
But yes, English spelling is ridiculous!
I agree, I real,y ant remember learning how to read, I learned way before preschool.
She put a label "science" on the toys, yet haven't taught them how to read. How do you expect them to read which box is which?! 🤦♀️Like Ken said - they are stupud.
My Aunt breast fed her youngest child until they were 6. Nothing more awkward than not knowing, looking in the backseat and seeing your fully speaking cousin on the teet. Nothing against what people want to do in their life, but wow.
I had an aunt that did the same. Then many years later my sister did the same thing. Her last child, a girl with 5 older brothers, was nursed until sometime into her sixth year. I found that quite rediculous myself. My one and only detached herself from me at 5 months.😆
Wow indeed. My wife breastfeed her babies until they were not quite two. She has one daughter with a disability and let her breastfeed until she was mentally in the place of a two year old and that was at 4. I couldn't imagine going until 6 for no reason....
@@We.do.not.scissor IKR😃
Wouldn't you stop producing milk by that point anyway?
@@tidepodpadthai2633 nope, if a woman continues to use her breasts after birth- she can produce milk indefinitely. For example, wet nurses are women who can still provide milk, and offer their milk to babies whose mothers, for whatever reason, cannot provide. Excellent plan B back in the day before formula was an option.
Imagine being this proud of intentionally preventing your kids from receiving healthcare and refusing to teach them anything, including the life skills they will be *required* to have in order to function as adults. This is a form of neglect in my opinion. It may not be ab*se, but it’s definitely negligent, and refusing to take care of your child’s health because you don’t feel like it is neglect. Period.
Unfortunately, these parents don't realize that they are actually neglecting their children. Children need structure and boundaries in order to feel safe and to learn. They'll have to learn these things at some point or another, whether it be now as kids or later as adults. One thing is for sure, they definitely aren't setting their kids up to be capable and happy adults later on and it's really sad 😥
I feel like there’s definitely a fine balance between free range and strict parenting.
Those who are raised too strictly are bound to rebel and often tend to be deprived of making their own mistakes in life and learning from them. Those who are “raised” with little to no parental supervision are likely to ‘go power crazy’ as they learn they can (supposedly) do whatever they want in life.
Those in between I feel is the best approach; to teach everything you feel valid and important, give advice on whether or not they should do something, and let them make minor mistakes so they can learn what it means to be an independent person with choices that impact their futures.
There's a name for that balance! It's called gentle parenting and is all scientific based practices with tons of studies to back it up. It really strikes that healthy balance of needed structure while giving kids the freedom to learn the way they do best!
My concern is that the parents were more than likely vaccinated and they're just fine, so I don't understand their argument about having their kids vaccinated. I'm all for the natural births as long as they're responsible about it. Breastfeeding your kids for as long as you want is alright too but being respectful of the larger population that don't breastfeed their children past 3 years old and just doing it in the comfort of their own home. Overall, vaccinate your children for THEIR sake. Don't be selfish and expose your children to killer diseases.
As long as they aren't experimental shots
I worked in OB and coded deliveries-I don’t have any issue with anyone doing a natural home birth (unless they’ve had a couple c-sections-we had a patient that ruptured their uterus doing that). Anyone else high risk should probably delivery at a hospital. Thankfully they didn’t live far from the hospital and could get there quickly-otherwise they would’ve bled out and died. A good midwife will make sure that there is a backup plan with the patient in case anything happens.
Watching this made me feel respected and loved by my parents.
As tumultuous as our relationship was in my teens (I'm in my 30's now), I know they cared for me and provided enough structure.
I'm just glad that got me vaccinated as a child, polio is wack AF.
😂😂 y’all tryna be respectful to these peoples parenting choices is so wholesome ♥️.