Ok ok hear me out Becky vs Ned: Boxing challenge Ariel vs Eugene: Interior design challenge Matt vs Zach: Cooking challenge Maggie vs Keith: Spicy food challenge
you've never seen Eugene's competitive energy???? it's not towards EACHOTHER, it's that their both the most competitive in general. Look at vids like the boxing competition, pants and dress making, without instructions (esp the ikea one).... SO many more obviously, but those just popped into my head, I think Eugene loves things that show he's the best in a definitive way, because I get the sense that he doubts himself sometimes more than we would assume
If they are, I like that they show respect by not interupting. Even if they interupt as a joke, it can be very difficult for women to feel selfconfident enough to speak about certain subjects. And most women dont have this problem with their husbands, and I dont think these women have this problem most of the time. But for listeners, or at least for me personally, it also feels nice that Ned was there for a few seconds by accident, but isnt listening in to defend himself
I think unappreciated duo between try wives and try guys is Maggie and Keith. They seem like they are happiest of characters. Would love to see more of that duo
Can we please hold men more accountable for taking responsibility for cleaning as well? I seriously don't understand why if we are both working why that huge task should fall on womens shoulders! And you all that are holding down the fort you deserve all the love in the world!
Well I came here to look if it was just me feeling this. It's still too normal that guys just are allowed not to "see" what has to be done around the house. Gosh if I want to i can also just not see it but stuff gets disgusting that way.
@@nikeblazerwearer lolol no I think thats just a fun nickname the other try guys gave him haha. I think his real name is Edward...? Unless I'm wrong, in which case someone pls correct me 😅
This breaks my heart for Ariel now looking back to when this was made and the timeline of the situation. Ariel if you see this, please know how much you are loved and appreciated you didn’t deserve this hurt. And I hope things work out for the best for you to be happy whatever that looks like and I hope you come back after healing to you can sit with us. There’s no pity. Just as a woman whose husband has done the same…I can relate to the pain.
I love that they are all so unproblematic that they create their own "controversies" within the group lol I am gonna hide now because I feel like I manifested this lmao, I'm gonna live this world now
i agree i love these ladies but i wonder whenever i see comments about ppl being unproblematic if it sets ppl up on a pedestal. I doubt anyone is 'waiting' for these ladies to stumble into a controversy or problematic situation and thats in no way what I'm implying. No one is perfect and people all have the ability to make mistakes especially unintentional ones. What I love about these ladies is that theyve shown personalities of women who are inclusive and always growing and wanting to learn and change for the better.
Why does Ariel NEED to delegate? Last I checked, she isn't in charge of the house. I thought they were two functional adults? Ned is a filthy misogynist masquerading as a wife guy. Smokescreen is down now and we can see the truth plain as day. So glad they got rid of this waste of a person from the group of 4. Hope Ariel returns to these
maggie saying zach loves verbal praise made me think - you guys should do an episode on you all's love languages as well as all of the guys'! I think that would be super interesting!
In light of the new stuff, you see the red flags that we all thought were just cute. Ned taking whatever he wants, even the food of their babysitter who has food restrictions is just icky. Then on top of that, not thanking Ariel. Damn. How did we not see this.
I've finally had enough courage to come back to old episodes, even if Ned makes me sick to my stomach, and when Ariel was talking about going on a holiday ... Ned wanted her away by herself so he could cheat fnafibsgj,n
@@greywarden1261i honestly think you’re jumping to conclusions. Many partners tell their partners to go on a mini vacation while they stay home with the kids. Many partners forget to thank each other or make them feel appreciated, kids do the same thing with their parents. Ik if the scandal didn’t happen you most likely wouldn’t think that
Thank youuuuuu! In French the concept of "charge mentale" (the mental weight of having not only to do everything around the house but of thinking of every little little thing and organizing everything, and having to ask for the other to participate 'cause they wouldn't think of it themselves - I'm not the best at explaining but I guess it's easy to research - ) has been quite talked about for a couple of years, and it's appalling how it seems like it's less of the case in the US, even among people who pride themselves on being progressive... I know we only see snippets of what's going on in their lives and shouldn't make assumptions based on that, but the fact that Ariel is so grateful that Ned did the dishes once just floors me
@@mariannecotte6141 In the US we call that mental/ emotional labor or "the invisible load". But to be honest, I didn't see anything all that wrong in this discussion. It sounded much more like a grounded discussion on the division of labor. And as the guys pointed out in their video, its much more about who is more bothered by a lack of cleanliness than it is about gender. (Although I will concede that often comes into play). That said though, being grateful to your partner for what they do to make your life easier is a positive thing. I only see it as harmful if you feel like it is something you don't "deserve". ...Then again, I've never dated outside of the states so maybe I'm just clueless. I'm certainly never going to argue that mine isn't a somewhat backwards country in many respects so... I guess I just argued myself into a corner lmao. Take care friend :)
That's easy to say. And is not wrong. But it is not easy to do when its the culture you have been raised with. There are many women who can only show their competency in the home, for cultural reasons. Not that they can't do something else but that their culture says this is the way they "should" act. You have to be very careful to both help someone see the problems with that mind set AND not undermine their self value. Because they have been taught/bred to value this in themselves. And there is inherent value in being clean and organized. But it can be hard not to lose ourselves in the roles we take on in a family. That's just my 2 cents as the husband of someone who was taught to define themselves that way watching and trying to quietly support her as she comes to realize just how toxic that environment was.
The thing about the repartition of household chores the girls are talking about has a name: the mental load. A great French author wrote a comic (translated in English) about this “The mental load” by Emma, which I encourage all of you to check out! It puts into words/images the feeling most women have of constant preoccupation in the back of their mind about the home/family/errands/etc. And how most men don’t have that same constant worry, even if the couple tries to make the repartition of chores as equitable as possible - because they weren’t socialised to feel that it’s their role to keep a clean house/family as much as women are. I say this of course with all the love and respect in the world for all the Try Couples, I’d love to have a relationship like theirs one day! It’s really not to bash the Guys or anything, but just thought I’d mention that concept since it’s something that needs to be addressed way more.
They need to make the video! I need an Ariel and Eugene match, especially since they're competitive. I'm curious to know how the match ends and who gets more competitive.
I absolutely love how considerate and well rounded all of Beckys advice is, I feel like she does such a good job being aware of many different factors surround a topic and the fact that she acknowledges how minority communities are naturally more eco friendly and encouraging people to just consume less vs buying trendy eco friendly products.
OMG, still listening but LOVED and APPRECIATED SO MUCH when after Ariel confessed she felt unappreciated how Rachel made sure to create the space to "take a moment to appreciate" her. It's something I plan to do more often with my friends. Such a simple phrase but incredibly powerful!
There was an Extreme Coupon guy who donated his buys to food banks regularly (minus the small amount he used for himself and his family) all the stuff he'd get for pennies on the dollar! Apparently he just really liked the challenge of trying to get the best deal, but didn't want a huge stockpile.
Outside of ariels relationship because everyone has different dynamics, but to every woman who feels like they should “delegate more,” or hears “just tell me what to do and I’ll do it” there’s a reason managers get paid more than their employees! They’re not your employee, they’re an equal partner- they should know what to do!
THIS! As women, or really anyone who does the majority of the cleaning in the relationship, shouldn't have to tell our partners what to do. If something needs to be done, they should take notice and do it. Simple as that.
Yes!! Noticing something needs to get done and deciding to do something about it is a big part of doing a task! When it falls on women to direct their partners, that's still those women having the responsibility of the task!!
This may be weird for a guy, but I get a bit obsessive about cleaning, maybe because I was an ED/Trauma nurse for so long...i am a psychiatric nurse now....I don't know, but my wife is less so...🤷♂️ but our deal is that if it's a priority for one of us...it our job..I almost always do the cleaning especially dishes and laundry, and toilet/shower...but she has her own things...🤷♂️ she cooks...she hates my burned what passes (barely) for food...🤷♂️ (no kids) anyway...if it's not absolutely essential...is it worth arguing about...don't do his stuff if he's being lazy, but also make sure its really worth it and a necessary do...and not just "I need to control this" it isn't worth it...🤷♂️ gentleman, you've got to do the same thing...too much of it lands you before a nurse like me...😁 it just isn't worth it...
@@Roseytail nope, you shouldn't...and maybe you can get their attention by not doing theirs once or twice...🤷♂️ as a psychiatric nurse, and someone who does most of the cleaning (yes, I am OCD...most nurses are...😁) I just want the crap put where I can get it...not asking much...but my wife does put stuff in the sink, and in the washer...so, I am good...😁 others...not so good with that...🤦♂️😁
Regarding Rachel's description of Ariel's home, that feels like what I call a Mashed Potato Home. Mashed potatoes are my comfort food, so Mashed Potato Homes are those that immediately feel welcoming and loving as soon as you walk in.
My husband and I bought a house. Then a year later we had a backyard wedding. I Went full out white princess wedding dress, got a photographer, and catering. But it was so affordable. I never wanted to go broke over a wedding. I love how practical you all are.
it actually makes me overjoyed to hear about how much zach has improved his health and the cleanliness of his home after maggie. and i love that he takes care of the house as she works because everyone KNOWS how stressful her job can be. that is exactly what a significant other should do for each other and im so happy for both of them
I know this was probably more of a joke, but I started feeling bad when Ariel said she was sad Ned didn't praise her for you know, basically running the household and doing everything. My mom is a housewife and she does EVERYTHING in the house because my dad is the one who works and it's always been very obvious to me and my mom that he doesn't think it's that hard to do (which is just WRONG in so many levels) and to me he's just so ungrateful in general. I would NEVER want to be married to anyone who doesn't appreciate me. Also I am a daughter and uck it just reeks of misogyny. Sorry for trauma dumping here lol youtube comments are just better for saying some weird/personal shit while still staying relatively anonymous Edit: Just to clarify I don't think Ned is a bad husband/dad, just that part of the podcast made me think of my parents and how it pretty much describes their relationship from what I've seen. This isn't an attack on Ned 😅 Update: damn that disclaimer did not age well 😬
My dad doesn't put in the effort to keep the house clean and gets mad at my mom when she asks him questions. She isn't nagging she is just using questions like "what kind of shoe should I buy you?" and goes " don't worry about it". Then he gets mad that she didn't buy him anything. He also has a huge mood problem and doesn't seem to understand that he is a dad. He gets so upset like a toddler when he has to pick me or my siblings up from anything. I love him but I don't wanna marry a man like him. He is very childish and moody.
@@helixjac2394 yeah I can relate. I don't like asking him for help with anything because I feel like such a burden when I do and then I just feel like shit.
@Sunday Girl my dad normally isn't a role model tbh. I have to teach my brothers manners because he doesn't want to and because he doesn't use them. My mom works a lot so it normally falls on me. My 5 year old brother already got in trouble because he was calling kids fat and stupid since he heard my dad call us that.
Thank you all for being you! I am a brand new first time mom and my baby was having a rough morning . I popped this on ready to brave the cries and he settled right down and now we are listening to the podcast together . He’s just about six weeks old and loving it !
I want to point out that even though Ariel is talking about her private life with Ned, we as fans have no business going to bother Ned with this info, no commenting in his insta pics about how he's not a good husband or how he needs to do more chores, whatever. That's their life. I'm sure Ariel and Ned are going to talk about this later.
@@MissCaraMint my comment is hilarious with the new info that has come out, but I still wouldn’t leave mean comments on their insta post (and that’s what I was mainly talking about in the first comment). Ariel asked for privacy.
Listening to this today, Sept. 29, 2022, makes more sense with what's happening now. This tears me up, super. Always remember, we always appreciate you Ariel.
A tip from my therapist about the failure mentality: Picture the person saying “you’re stupid” as someone you don’t respect at all. Would you listen to and believe Bryce Hall if he called you stupid? That voice is just a mean, disrespectful person. You shouldn’t take those words to heart.
My ADD brain has so much sympathy for Zach's pre-made salad addiction! Yes, it's supposed to be so 'easy' to throw a salad together, but when your executive function is fragmented (and I suspect chronic pain would eat up a ton of it), the mere feeling of grabbing something instantly made is a big comfort and sense of control. Although having a loving partner like Maggie moving in would help change this because it is 'body doubling', it is less overwhelming to form habits when doing it alongside a supportive companion.
One of my sister's friends with terminal cancer threw himself a living wake. He was out and proud so it was high glam with a nail manicurist doing nails in a corner. I also vaguely remember him hiring a tattoo artist to tattoo his friends secrets onto his body so he could take them to the grave with him. He was only in his mid-20s and it was a really badass way to deal with his mortality on his own terms.
Ariel’s whole segment is even worse now this was posted a year ish ago and he was suddenly doing more around the house and encouraging her to leave etc it’s kinda tracks
I grew up with my aunt as my legal guardian from 13-17 and she was an extreme couponer and even though we were way below the poverty line we were able to be the staple for a church that fed over 90 people every Wednesday on only the food stamps we got for me plus the majority of our home groceries
i know Ned is a loving and attentive husband, but the mental emotional load should NOT only be on Ariel to do so much housework. She isn't a stay at home mom, she works too. Ned you're awesome, but the male privilige is showing a bit my guy,,,
It’s really hard to learn how to ask for help. And some people don’t like the way their partner cleans. I think they have worked it out but with a second kid, every couple needs to work out everything again. I think they are fine if they say they are fine. My coworker does all the cleaning and cooking (she is an LMFT) despite that she and her husband both work full time, because she likes it and it helps her feel like she is contributing to memories for her family and her son. She is under her 40’s too. So it’s just what some people like and enjoy is different and each couple is different. What my coworker does would not work with my marriage but it works for her.
I was a bit disappointed at the delegation suggestion. It is not wife's job to delegate things to her husband. It adds unnecessarily to the mental load. It is not a suprise that when the dishwasher has gone through that it needs emptying. Also it is not a suprise that the vacuum cleaner needs to be used.
Amen, because that implies that only the woman thinks of what needs to be done at home. It shouldn't be. It's your family, it's your home, you shouldn't rely on the woman to tell you what needs to be on the grocery list or what chores need to be done.
Becky really shows that she reads, researches, and, I think most importantly, wants to learn about issues that don’t necessarily affect her directly. She’s very thoughtful and shares important points and nuances about environmental and social justice issues.
i swear to god i cried laughing when becky said "do you want not to feel like a failure? try antidepressants!". keep an eye open, miles, she's coming for you (but seriously, as a depressed woman, it is so good to see people talking about that openly!)
One of the youtubers I watch says "You cannot do all the good that the world needs but the world needs all the good that you can do." regarding the environment and I love it. Individuals cannot fix all the problems but every little thing you can to to help is good.
Me being a cashier, I bag everything properly like Ariel minus the heavy bagging. I put all delicate fruits/veg together in one bag with eggs or chips and bread together on top of the eggs and always telling the customers what bag has their eggs. We do appreciate it when you help bag your items when it is a big order!
ok, i love how relatable this pod is. My mom teached my lil bro (22 y/o) and me (25 y/o) to do equal job in the house even tough my brother is a Cis male and im a trans male, she always made sure to raise us to be equal, my brother and i both wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean the yard, clean the floors, can cook some basic stuff tu survive on our own, fold the laundry (we are kinda lazy to fold the laundry but we do it) and i can feel proud to say that i think my mom has made us both good guys. My mom also teached us to always keep an eye on every item that is getting checked out at the supermarket, we also always load the grossery bags as much as posible, my mom made reusable bags for the grosserys and alway has us taking them to the super market, we dont ask for baggs for the grosserys even if whe have to load everything in the shoping cart to later load it in our car. And also i dont know if this is a think with latin moms but my mom ALWAYS checks the recips one item at once to make sure there are no mistakes or extra items on our recipt. Any way some times earing them talk is like earing my mom talk and i know their kids are going to grow up in loving families and to be really proud and self aware. This amazing women are just great
Biggest tip for dealing with "failure": talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Would you tell someone else "you're so stupid, you can't do anything right"? Absolutely not! So why would you talk to yourself like that? This tip has helped me be more honest with myself and get clarity through emotionally difficult times.
When Becky said "I hate when I forget sth from the grocery store" during the Doordash ad I could only think about the taco shells from the grocery store, and ground beef from the grocery store, and shredded cheese from the grocery store and ortega sauce from the grocery store...
tuesdays are my fav days now :') I had 1 hr before this podcast came out and I told myself to do a quick workout, shower and now i have a hot latte ready to listen to this podcast :)
On the subject of feeling like a failure: Last year, when I reached my 50th rejection on my novel, I themed my (virtual) birthday party "a celebration of failure." In the invite, I posted the Garfunkel & Oates' song "Loser," which always reminds me how important it is that I'm trying at all. I asked my guests to tell their stories of funny epic fails or big tries they were proud of, and then we watched several episodes of "Nailed It!" together.
When Ariel talked about the power of verbal praise it reminded me of how I loved being a hairdesigner. I would get positive feedback and praise every day, whereas office workers often go for long periods of time without it.
I feel so badly and sad now for Ariel because she mentioned Ned saying "Do you want to take a mini vacation by yourself?" and now that we now what's going on its like 😬😬🧐🧐 (Edit): Oh gosh and then I continued and Ariel said "Lets leave the boys with the babies" and I'm like "Uh, yeah Ned will be with a baby alright but not the one you think (*cough cough* food baby *cough cough*), girl you work so hard and are such a responsible, selfless angel - you deserve the best and we love you!!
As someone who works in a grocery store it’s so nice to hear people wanting to help bag and such. My favorite people are the people who help. I actually listened to this episode at my store on break
Once again, such important, powerful messages coming from healthy women. Mental health, depression, anxiety; stress, equity in relationships, recognising and validating other people; therapy (personal and couple), societal expectations, consumerism, environmental care and social justice to name a few! Such incredible women having genuine conversations, thank you, I feel empowered listening to this podcast.
I went grocery shopping with my free spirit bestie once. She just started throwing things on the belt when we were checking out. I started to have a little panic attack since I'm the produce goes all first, then refrigerated items, then pantry, etc etc.
My husband doesnt get why i do this but it just makes more sense both when bagging and when having to put it up when you get home. I get very frustrated when the baggers at the store just mix random stuff together and all the bags are different weights. If you organize it on the conveyor belt they're forced into bagging the correct stuff together
8:35 omg I’m so happy Bec said the thing! That’s exactly it! It’s so genuinely hard to find good content that isn’t made by shitty people. I love this channel because of the heart and the kindness. If anything I feel like I tolerate the dick jokes and underwear try ons hahaha. I’m so far from their demographic (late twenties lesbian over here) but I just love giving my time and views to kind people who fight for equality and advocation.
Ok ok hear me out
Becky vs Ned: Boxing challenge
Ariel vs Eugene: Interior design challenge
Matt vs Zach: Cooking challenge
Maggie vs Keith: Spicy food challenge
Oh hell yeah 💯
Yeees. We ned to see this
Yes, that would be amazing to watch, tho I think Zach and Keith wouldn’t stand a chance
I see what you're doing with Zach and Keith, that's so evil lmao *I love it*
I still want a Ned vs Matt italian cooking challenge though
Definitely
Excuse me how have we never seen this Eugene vs Ariel competitive energy PLS WE *NEED* IT
they had a video making soap where ariel subbed in for ned and you should definitely watch it if you want eugene vs ariel competitive energy lol
@@cori742 the amount of soap that ariel made was actually insane
@@itsLoriX3 after eugene I was like omg how is ariel gonna top this AND THEN SHE DID
you've never seen Eugene's competitive energy???? it's not towards EACHOTHER, it's that their both the most competitive in general. Look at vids like the boxing competition, pants and dress making, without instructions (esp the ikea one).... SO many more obviously, but those just popped into my head, I think Eugene loves things that show he's the best in a definitive way, because I get the sense that he doubts himself sometimes more than we would assume
OMG, when Ariel Eugene'd Eugene with her dirty soap game!!! Also... did she sell them? WE NEED THOSE
It is heartbreaking coming back to some episodes where Ariel talks like she did about being disappointed with how Ned talks about her now
I love how you’re discussing the beef and the guys are probably literally sitting in the next room lmao
🤣😂
I read this as shitting in the next room and I-
@@Claireannette77 🤣😂 they may be who knows!
@@laurenmhogan they only have one bathroom though lol
If they are, I like that they show respect by not interupting.
Even if they interupt as a joke, it can be very difficult for women to feel selfconfident enough to speak about certain subjects. And most women dont have this problem with their husbands, and I dont think these women have this problem most of the time. But for listeners, or at least for me personally, it also feels nice that Ned was there for a few seconds by accident, but isnt listening in to defend himself
we NEED a "Ned takes care of the house and the baby while Ariel has a spa weekend" video
I fear for their fridge... Imagine the reordering
@@gabiluch87 maybe it would be more work for Ariel in the long run
@@user-jn9st3mi9x Wow
That's depressing. I hope not... but...
Nooooo dad isn’t babysitter. Dad is parent too. It’s so cringey to see Dad struggle so hard when Mom is away.
@@ms.holmes5738 hmm that's probably why it is a challenge rather than a everyday basis thing
Not Ned telling Ariel she should go on a vacation by herself…
OH MY GOD! I heard this and sighed out loud "so he can cheat"?
😳
Me: *faints*
Aged like milk.
the entirety of miles at 6’5” being called as “pixie” is so cuTe
So happy to see him promoted from gremlin to pixie! 🧚♂️ #MILESNATION #stinkylittlecutie
miles is 6'5??????
@@aka_dirtysoy i think so, he’s at least above 6’3”
It's adorable especially bc the boys call him a podcast gremlin lol
i thought he was like 5’7 or 5’8 BRO. 6’5😀😀
Normalizing couples therapy is so nice, it's not a sign the relationship is failing, it's your willingness to make sure it doesn't
Agreed, it was also nice to hear that a couple that I idolize or “seems perfect” also has hiccups like the rest of us
Yes!!! And also individual therapy like Becky was saying and sometimes medication is needed too and all of it is good. Whatever helps!
Agreed!
Not hiccups - mutha fkn trenches
Lol this aged poorly 😬
Welp… I’m here to break the bad news to y’all… Ned never deserved Ariel 🥺😭
Especially with the information that just came out :(
Really on board to see Becky box him now…
Becky saying that she will kill anyone who injures Keith's soft milky body is the sweetest thing
Ariel’s eyes when she was talking about how Ned didn’t say how great of a cleaner she was like Keith🥺 I LOVE HER
What do you mean she’s like Keith
@@kiki_8897 Ned talking about her like Keith talked about Becky
I think unappreciated duo between try wives and try guys is Maggie and Keith. They seem like they are happiest of characters. Would love to see more of that duo
Can we please hold men more accountable for taking responsibility for cleaning as well? I seriously don't understand why if we are both working why that huge task should fall on womens shoulders! And you all that are holding down the fort you deserve all the love in the world!
@Sunday Girl well said.
YESS!
Well I came here to look if it was just me feeling this. It's still too normal that guys just are allowed not to "see" what has to be done around the house. Gosh if I want to i can also just not see it but stuff gets disgusting that way.
@Sunday Girl what is the title of this episode? Can someone please link it?
Ariel is a queen and with every single episode I watch, I grow more livid because it is so clear that Ned never deserved her.
10:50 NEDWARD FULMER NO. oh my god i got so upset for that nanny, i HATE it when people grab my food.
his name is nedward???!!! LMAOOO
@@nikeblazerwearer lolol no I think thats just a fun nickname the other try guys gave him haha. I think his real name is Edward...? Unless I'm wrong, in which case someone pls correct me 😅
@@Namite0001 OH AHAH okok i see
@@DoodleKitsey Like Ned Stark, who is also an Edward although spelled in a different manner.
nickname for Ariel: All-Out Ariel
This breaks my heart for Ariel now looking back to when this was made and the timeline of the situation. Ariel if you see this, please know how much you are loved and appreciated you didn’t deserve this hurt. And I hope things work out for the best for you to be happy whatever that looks like and I hope you come back after healing to you can sit with us. There’s no pity. Just as a woman whose husband has done the same…I can relate to the pain.
Came to get more tea on Ned, stayed because I love these girlys so much and got distracted with their beauty and wisdom
I love that they are all so unproblematic that they create their own "controversies" within the group lol
I am gonna hide now because I feel like I manifested this lmao, I'm gonna live this world now
We need more people like that 😂
And they literally ask people to cancel them in videos 😹 and no one does 😌
@@lenasaturnino this is why the try guys are literally my favorite youtubers
i agree i love these ladies but i wonder whenever i see comments about ppl being unproblematic if it sets ppl up on a pedestal. I doubt anyone is 'waiting' for these ladies to stumble into a controversy or problematic situation and thats in no way what I'm implying. No one is perfect and people all have the ability to make mistakes especially unintentional ones. What I love about these ladies is that theyve shown personalities of women who are inclusive and always growing and wanting to learn and change for the better.
@@edo27 this^^^
Why does Ariel NEED to delegate? Last I checked, she isn't in charge of the house. I thought they were two functional adults? Ned is a filthy misogynist masquerading as a wife guy. Smokescreen is down now and we can see the truth plain as day. So glad they got rid of this waste of a person from the group of 4. Hope Ariel returns to these
maggie saying zach loves verbal praise made me think - you guys should do an episode on you all's love languages as well as all of the guys'! I think that would be super interesting!
Bumping this up because I don't think they've done it yet.
In light of the new stuff, you see the red flags that we all thought were just cute. Ned taking whatever he wants, even the food of their babysitter who has food restrictions is just icky. Then on top of that, not thanking Ariel. Damn. How did we not see this.
I've finally had enough courage to come back to old episodes, even if Ned makes me sick to my stomach, and when Ariel was talking about going on a holiday ... Ned wanted her away by herself so he could cheat fnafibsgj,n
@@greywarden1261i honestly think you’re jumping to conclusions. Many partners tell their partners to go on a mini vacation while they stay home with the kids. Many partners forget to thank each other or make them feel appreciated, kids do the same thing with their parents. Ik if the scandal didn’t happen you most likely wouldn’t think that
We need to stop basing women's worth on cleaning and being organized. It's stereotyping and toxic, because it maintains the sexist status quo
Thank youuuuuu! In French the concept of "charge mentale" (the mental weight of having not only to do everything around the house but of thinking of every little little thing and organizing everything, and having to ask for the other to participate 'cause they wouldn't think of it themselves - I'm not the best at explaining but I guess it's easy to research - ) has been quite talked about for a couple of years, and it's appalling how it seems like it's less of the case in the US, even among people who pride themselves on being progressive... I know we only see snippets of what's going on in their lives and shouldn't make assumptions based on that, but the fact that Ariel is so grateful that Ned did the dishes once just floors me
@@mariannecotte6141 In the US we call that mental/ emotional labor or "the invisible load". But to be honest, I didn't see anything all that wrong in this discussion. It sounded much more like a grounded discussion on the division of labor. And as the guys pointed out in their video, its much more about who is more bothered by a lack of cleanliness than it is about gender. (Although I will concede that often comes into play).
That said though, being grateful to your partner for what they do to make your life easier is a positive thing. I only see it as harmful if you feel like it is something you don't "deserve".
...Then again, I've never dated outside of the states so maybe I'm just clueless. I'm certainly never going to argue that mine isn't a somewhat backwards country in many respects so... I guess I just argued myself into a corner lmao. Take care friend :)
it was shaming the guys because they were being slobs unlike the girls... it wasn't like it wasn't expected of the men too
That's easy to say. And is not wrong. But it is not easy to do when its the culture you have been raised with. There are many women who can only show their competency in the home, for cultural reasons. Not that they can't do something else but that their culture says this is the way they "should" act. You have to be very careful to both help someone see the problems with that mind set AND not undermine their self value. Because they have been taught/bred to value this in themselves. And there is inherent value in being clean and organized. But it can be hard not to lose ourselves in the roles we take on in a family. That's just my 2 cents as the husband of someone who was taught to define themselves that way watching and trying to quietly support her as she comes to realize just how toxic that environment was.
I know right like whenever i leave something dirty cause I was busy it just tired my sister would yell at me :your not a boy !!!! Like huuh?😐😐
Here after Ned got caught cheating. Hope Ariel gets the love she deserves.
Thank you Rachel for acknowledging we all want to see Eugene go up against Ariel!
Why am I so ready for Becky's punches to Ned
The thing about the repartition of household chores the girls are talking about has a name: the mental load. A great French author wrote a comic (translated in English) about this “The mental load” by Emma, which I encourage all of you to check out!
It puts into words/images the feeling most women have of constant preoccupation in the back of their mind about the home/family/errands/etc. And how most men don’t have that same constant worry, even if the couple tries to make the repartition of chores as equitable as possible - because they weren’t socialised to feel that it’s their role to keep a clean house/family as much as women are.
I say this of course with all the love and respect in the world for all the Try Couples, I’d love to have a relationship like theirs one day! It’s really not to bash the Guys or anything, but just thought I’d mention that concept since it’s something that needs to be addressed way more.
I would give my life, my savings, my house, my everything, just to see Ariel and Eugene fight each other in a kickboxing match
They need to make the video! I need an Ariel and Eugene match, especially since they're competitive. I'm curious to know how the match ends and who gets more competitive.
Yesssss! Omg 😂
I wanna see Ariel punch Ned in the face
I absolutely love how considerate and well rounded all of Beckys advice is, I feel like she does such a good job being aware of many different factors surround a topic and the fact that she acknowledges how minority communities are naturally more eco friendly and encouraging people to just consume less vs buying trendy eco friendly products.
This breaks my heart … Ned’s the worst … he never appreciated her
OMG, still listening but LOVED and APPRECIATED SO MUCH when after Ariel confessed she felt unappreciated how Rachel made sure to create the space to "take a moment to appreciate" her. It's something I plan to do more often with my friends. Such a simple phrase but incredibly powerful!
I really loved that too! Ngl, made me tear up a bit. Rachel is an amazing friend 💕
Yes!! ❤️
There was an Extreme Coupon guy who donated his buys to food banks regularly (minus the small amount he used for himself and his family) all the stuff he'd get for pennies on the dollar! Apparently he just really liked the challenge of trying to get the best deal, but didn't want a huge stockpile.
that’s so sweet! and such a good use for surplus
That is a great way to maximize extreme couponing.
Outside of ariels relationship because everyone has different dynamics, but to every woman who feels like they should “delegate more,” or hears “just tell me what to do and I’ll do it” there’s a reason managers get paid more than their employees! They’re not your employee, they’re an equal partner- they should know what to do!
THIS! As women, or really anyone who does the majority of the cleaning in the relationship, shouldn't have to tell our partners what to do. If something needs to be done, they should take notice and do it. Simple as that.
Yes!! Noticing something needs to get done and deciding to do something about it is a big part of doing a task! When it falls on women to direct their partners, that's still those women having the responsibility of the task!!
This may be weird for a guy, but I get a bit obsessive about cleaning, maybe because I was an ED/Trauma nurse for so long...i am a psychiatric nurse now....I don't know, but my wife is less so...🤷♂️ but our deal is that if it's a priority for one of us...it our job..I almost always do the cleaning especially dishes and laundry, and toilet/shower...but she has her own things...🤷♂️ she cooks...she hates my burned what passes (barely) for food...🤷♂️ (no kids) anyway...if it's not absolutely essential...is it worth arguing about...don't do his stuff if he's being lazy, but also make sure its really worth it and a necessary do...and not just "I need to control this" it isn't worth it...🤷♂️ gentleman, you've got to do the same thing...too much of it lands you before a nurse like me...😁 it just isn't worth it...
@@Roseytail nope, you shouldn't...and maybe you can get their attention by not doing theirs once or twice...🤷♂️ as a psychiatric nurse, and someone who does most of the cleaning (yes, I am OCD...most nurses are...😁) I just want the crap put where I can get it...not asking much...but my wife does put stuff in the sink, and in the washer...so, I am good...😁 others...not so good with that...🤦♂️😁
petition for rachel to be on the cover photo!
Is this Rachel? 💕
I love the way you spell Rachael! 🤩
Yes! I've thought this as well
8:55 makes sense that ned is a cheater he’s one of the husbands that doesn’t help either
I LOVE Ariel's enthusiasm in wanting to box with Eugene
Ariel: I've never seen him lose so badly
Ned: laughs in 3rd place
Regarding Rachel's description of Ariel's home, that feels like what I call a Mashed Potato Home. Mashed potatoes are my comfort food, so Mashed Potato Homes are those that immediately feel welcoming and loving as soon as you walk in.
15:42 “his whole brand is how much he loves you” god my heart hurts for ariel
The hurt in her voice 14:00 💔 you deserve sooo much better Ariel 🫂
we need to see becky and ned in the ring now more than ever just so becky can just pummel him for what he did
I'd pay good money for that!
15:42 “his whole brand is how much he loves you” :(
Now that is sad, his fake persona.
My husband and I bought a house. Then a year later we had a backyard wedding. I Went full out white princess wedding dress, got a photographer, and catering. But it was so affordable. I never wanted to go broke over a wedding. I love how practical you all are.
Congratulations:)♡
“Give yourself grace.” has become my mantra, especially during this pandemic. Works for tiny failures and big failures.
it actually makes me overjoyed to hear about how much zach has improved his health and the cleanliness of his home after maggie. and i love that he takes care of the house as she works because everyone KNOWS how stressful her job can be. that is exactly what a significant other should do for each other and im so happy for both of them
I know this was probably more of a joke, but I started feeling bad when Ariel said she was sad Ned didn't praise her for you know, basically running the household and doing everything. My mom is a housewife and she does EVERYTHING in the house because my dad is the one who works and it's always been very obvious to me and my mom that he doesn't think it's that hard to do (which is just WRONG in so many levels) and to me he's just so ungrateful in general. I would NEVER want to be married to anyone who doesn't appreciate me. Also I am a daughter and uck it just reeks of misogyny. Sorry for trauma dumping here lol youtube comments are just better for saying some weird/personal shit while still staying relatively anonymous
Edit: Just to clarify I don't think Ned is a bad husband/dad, just that part of the podcast made me think of my parents and how it pretty much describes their relationship from what I've seen. This isn't an attack on Ned 😅
Update: damn that disclaimer did not age well 😬
My dad doesn't put in the effort to keep the house clean and gets mad at my mom when she asks him questions. She isn't nagging she is just using questions like "what kind of shoe should I buy you?" and goes " don't worry about it". Then he gets mad that she didn't buy him anything. He also has a huge mood problem and doesn't seem to understand that he is a dad. He gets so upset like a toddler when he has to pick me or my siblings up from anything. I love him but I don't wanna marry a man like him. He is very childish and moody.
@@helixjac2394 yeah I can relate. I don't like asking him for help with anything because I feel like such a burden when I do and then I just feel like shit.
@@ia490 yeah and plus he will be mean to me about it and disregard how I feel.
@Sunday Girl my dad normally isn't a role model tbh. I have to teach my brothers manners because he doesn't want to and because he doesn't use them. My mom works a lot so it normally falls on me. My 5 year old brother already got in trouble because he was calling kids fat and stupid since he heard my dad call us that.
Ned talks about Ariel ALL THE TIME. His catch phrase is “my wife”. I think this is really unfair to him.
Thank you all for being you! I am a brand new first time mom and my baby was having a rough morning . I popped this on ready to brave the cries and he settled right down and now we are listening to the podcast together . He’s just about six weeks old and loving it !
When Ariel said "Every single frickin' day" when asked when she feels like a failure, I was like "same"
Oh, absolutely! Every single day, every single minute. And their right--a lot of it is my own mind saying over and over "you're a failure".
LMAOOOO ARIEL COMING FOR NED IS WHAT I LIVE FOR
15:42 "His whole brand is how much he loves you..." Yup. 🙃
I want to point out that even though Ariel is talking about her private life with Ned, we as fans have no business going to bother Ned with this info, no commenting in his insta pics about how he's not a good husband or how he needs to do more chores, whatever. That's their life. I'm sure Ariel and Ned are going to talk about this later.
I agree with this! I see a lot of comments giving rude advice or assuming things about their relationship when really we don’t know the whole story.
Clearly he HASN'T been a good husband, since he's been caught cheating on Ariel multiple times in the last year alone...
This does take on a whole new meaning now thought.
@@MissCaraMint my comment is hilarious with the new info that has come out, but I still wouldn’t leave mean comments on their insta post (and that’s what I was mainly talking about in the first comment). Ariel asked for privacy.
@@mjparker5749 I wouldn't do so either. I just think we now can say that yes he isn't a great husband in general terms.
Listening to this today, Sept. 29, 2022, makes more sense with what's happening now. This tears me up, super. Always remember, we always appreciate you Ariel.
A tip from my therapist about the failure mentality: Picture the person saying “you’re stupid” as someone you don’t respect at all. Would you listen to and believe Bryce Hall if he called you stupid? That voice is just a mean, disrespectful person. You shouldn’t take those words to heart.
This also works for a dear friend, or someone you are close too. Would you call your friend or family member stupid because they failed at something?
Thank you 🙏🏼 I needed this
Thanks for using such an incredibly believable reference. I chuckled hard. 😂
HAHAHA I LOVE YOUR EXAMPLE LMAOOO
My ADD brain has so much sympathy for Zach's pre-made salad addiction! Yes, it's supposed to be so 'easy' to throw a salad together, but when your executive function is fragmented (and I suspect chronic pain would eat up a ton of it), the mere feeling of grabbing something instantly made is a big comfort and sense of control. Although having a loving partner like Maggie moving in would help change this because it is 'body doubling', it is less overwhelming to form habits when doing it alongside a supportive companion.
One of my sister's friends with terminal cancer threw himself a living wake. He was out and proud so it was high glam with a nail manicurist doing nails in a corner. I also vaguely remember him hiring a tattoo artist to tattoo his friends secrets onto his body so he could take them to the grave with him. He was only in his mid-20s and it was a really badass way to deal with his mortality on his own terms.
That is awesome. So badass
Now we know why ned was suggesting to Ariel to go on a trip
And all the showers and baths he takes (15:25)...he prob needed to scrub Alex and all the guilt from his body..
Bingo
I did think that. It was mentioned that they “stayed at each other’s house” ….
9:00 - 12:00 something small but so impactful to Ariel and their marriage
😔
Ariel’s whole segment is even worse now this was posted a year ish ago and he was suddenly doing more around the house and encouraging her to leave etc it’s kinda tracks
Ned I'm begging you to stop eating your nanny's gluten free food!! That shit is expensive!
Ugh YES. Came here to say this as a celiac. As a general rule if someone's bread costs $6 a loaf, you CAN'T under ANY circumstances eat it! 🤣
The way Becky called out Ned is life, lmao. Girl woke up to throw hands.
Becky staring daggers into Ned thinking that he hurt Keith is how you know that Becky would win at boxing against Ned
Ned took the nanny’s lunch? The disrespect! Oh the signs were there.
I grew up with my aunt as my legal guardian from 13-17 and she was an extreme couponer and even though we were way below the poverty line we were able to be the staple for a church that fed over 90 people every Wednesday on only the food stamps we got for me plus the majority of our home groceries
i know Ned is a loving and attentive husband, but the mental emotional load should NOT only be on Ariel to do so much housework. She isn't a stay at home mom, she works too. Ned you're awesome, but the male privilige is showing a bit my guy,,,
Facts
It’s really hard to learn how to ask for help. And some people don’t like the way their partner cleans. I think they have worked it out but with a second kid, every couple needs to work out everything again. I think they are fine if they say they are fine. My coworker does all the cleaning and cooking (she is an LMFT) despite that she and her husband both work full time, because she likes it and it helps her feel like she is contributing to memories for her family and her son. She is under her 40’s too. So it’s just what some people like and enjoy is different and each couple is different. What my coworker does would not work with my marriage but it works for her.
I was a bit disappointed at the delegation suggestion. It is not wife's job to delegate things to her husband. It adds unnecessarily to the mental load. It is not a suprise that when the dishwasher has gone through that it needs emptying. Also it is not a suprise that the vacuum cleaner needs to be used.
Amen, because that implies that only the woman thinks of what needs to be done at home. It shouldn't be. It's your family, it's your home, you shouldn't rely on the woman to tell you what needs to be on the grocery list or what chores need to be done.
@@ebbandflowph agreed! Women are assigned the “project managing” of the household on default and the work is very rarely recognized.
Becky really shows that she reads, researches, and, I think most importantly, wants to learn about issues that don’t necessarily affect her directly. She’s very thoughtful and shares important points and nuances about environmental and social justice issues.
Man, this episode had so many red flags that it's ridiculous!
Ariel is a freakin superwoman 🙌🏼 please don’t feel bad for expressing your very valid feelings!!
not me crying during the Ned and Ariel part. We all appreciate you Ariel so much, you’re a wonderful person :)
8:54 Ariel starts beefing
i swear to god i cried laughing when becky said "do you want not to feel like a failure? try antidepressants!". keep an eye open, miles, she's coming for you
(but seriously, as a depressed woman, it is so good to see people talking about that openly!)
One of the youtubers I watch says "You cannot do all the good that the world needs but the world needs all the good that you can do." regarding the environment and I love it. Individuals cannot fix all the problems but every little thing you can to to help is good.
Me being a cashier, I bag everything properly like Ariel minus the heavy bagging. I put all delicate fruits/veg together in one bag with eggs or chips and bread together on top of the eggs and always telling the customers what bag has their eggs.
We do appreciate it when you help bag your items when it is a big order!
I live in Finland 🇫🇮 and here every customer packs own groseries itself , we don't have service like that 😕
@@anne-lyamerikas1303 most stores are the same way
Ariel, I truly hope you come back. We love you, we miss you and YOU are amazing.
“He does not like to lose, nor does he like to be made fun of” oops
This made me think about how he’s reacting to what the internet is saying about him
The try wives and try guys try paintball? I feel like this would be a great video + relentless revenge from the ladies 😉 also padding for everyone
Neds little “no no no” was so cute.
Becky was out for blood and I love that
Ariel at some point,probably : why is it not called addressing the pork?
ok, i love how relatable this pod is. My mom teached my lil bro (22 y/o) and me (25 y/o) to do equal job in the house even tough my brother is a Cis male and im a trans male, she always made sure to raise us to be equal, my brother and i both wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean the yard, clean the floors, can cook some basic stuff tu survive on our own, fold the laundry (we are kinda lazy to fold the laundry but we do it) and i can feel proud to say that i think my mom has made us both good guys. My mom also teached us to always keep an eye on every item that is getting checked out at the supermarket, we also always load the grossery bags as much as posible, my mom made reusable bags for the grosserys and alway has us taking them to the super market, we dont ask for baggs for the grosserys even if whe have to load everything in the shoping cart to later load it in our car. And also i dont know if this is a think with latin moms but my mom ALWAYS checks the recips one item at once to make sure there are no mistakes or extra items on our recipt. Any way some times earing them talk is like earing my mom talk and i know their kids are going to grow up in loving families and to be really proud and self aware. This amazing women are just great
Biggest tip for dealing with "failure": talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. Would you tell someone else "you're so stupid, you can't do anything right"? Absolutely not! So why would you talk to yourself like that? This tip has helped me be more honest with myself and get clarity through emotionally difficult times.
When Becky said "I hate when I forget sth from the grocery store" during the Doordash ad I could only think about the taco shells from the grocery store, and ground beef from the grocery store, and shredded cheese from the grocery store and ortega sauce from the grocery store...
Rachel appreciating Ariel ❤❤❤❤❤
Omg finally i have seen Ned and Becky and Maggie be mentioned in the same context together. I can sleep in peace.
tuesdays are my fav days now :') I had 1 hr before this podcast came out and I told myself to do a quick workout, shower and now i have a hot latte ready to listen to this podcast :)
Enjoy yourself!
That sounds wonderful!!! I hope you’re enjoying
On the subject of feeling like a failure: Last year, when I reached my 50th rejection on my novel, I themed my (virtual) birthday party "a celebration of failure." In the invite, I posted the Garfunkel & Oates' song "Loser," which always reminds me how important it is that I'm trying at all. I asked my guests to tell their stories of funny epic fails or big tries they were proud of, and then we watched several episodes of "Nailed It!" together.
“You would never say you hate yourself! That’s terrible!” *nervous sweating*
The way theyre dressed and styled they look like the coolest managers who work at J . Crew or something. love these ladies
Ned seems to have a habit of taking things that aren't his..
The Midwestern discount telling tradition is golden. My favorites are my rubber duckie pj pants I got at goodwill for a couple dollars years ago
I love when my customers pack their own groceries! It helps us both out, I get through the customers quicker and they’re on their way home quicker!
I'd love to see Becky rock Neds world 💪
When Ariel talked about the power of verbal praise it reminded me of how I loved being a hairdesigner. I would get positive feedback and praise every day, whereas office workers often go for long periods of time without it.
Ned outside: "Do you wanna go on vacation?"
Ned inside: "Forgive me and please forget my beef" 😂
Ned: Please give me time to cheat on you with my mistress
I feel so badly and sad now for Ariel because she mentioned Ned saying "Do you want to take a mini vacation by yourself?" and now that we now what's going on its like 😬😬🧐🧐
(Edit): Oh gosh and then I continued and Ariel said "Lets leave the boys with the babies" and I'm like "Uh, yeah Ned will be with a baby alright but not the one you think (*cough cough* food baby *cough cough*), girl you work so hard and are such a responsible, selfless angel - you deserve the best and we love you!!
Zack seems like such a loyal friend and partner
💀
As someone who works in a grocery store it’s so nice to hear people wanting to help bag and such. My favorite people are the people who help. I actually listened to this episode at my store on break
This episode should've been called "You can beef with us"
Once again, such important, powerful messages coming from healthy women. Mental health, depression, anxiety; stress, equity in relationships, recognising and validating other people; therapy (personal and couple), societal expectations, consumerism, environmental care and social justice to name a few! Such incredible women having genuine conversations, thank you, I feel empowered listening to this podcast.
I went grocery shopping with my free spirit bestie once. She just started throwing things on the belt when we were checking out. I started to have a little panic attack since I'm the produce goes all first, then refrigerated items, then pantry, etc etc.
My husband doesnt get why i do this but it just makes more sense both when bagging and when having to put it up when you get home. I get very frustrated when the baggers at the store just mix random stuff together and all the bags are different weights. If you organize it on the conveyor belt they're forced into bagging the correct stuff together
8:35 omg I’m so happy Bec said the thing! That’s exactly it! It’s so genuinely hard to find good content that isn’t made by shitty people. I love this channel because of the heart and the kindness. If anything I feel like I tolerate the dick jokes and underwear try ons hahaha. I’m so far from their demographic (late twenties lesbian over here) but I just love giving my time and views to kind people who fight for equality and advocation.