Hi Terri, I’ve been following you for a while now, and I really admire the content you create. You often tackle deep and meaningful topics, which is why I wanted to share an idea for a potential video that’s very close to my heart. At 17, I’m starting to become more independent and take time for myself, but I sometimes feel guilty or sad when I see my mom being bored or alone while I’m away, for instance, when I go to the gym. I’m scared that by focusing on my own needs, I won’t spend enough time with her and might regret it later. I think this feeling of balancing independence while not wanting to "leave our loved ones behind" is something many people, especially those with strong family bonds, can relate to. Maybe you could address this topic in a future video? For example, how to find a balance between taking care of ourselves and being there for our loved ones, and how to manage the fear of regretting the time we don’t spend with them. Thank you in advance if you decide to talk about it, and thank you for always sharing inspiring content! Wishing you lots of success in everything you do. With admiration, Inès
Hi Inès, thanks so much for sharing your idea and for being here ❤️ I think a lot of what I cover in my book, Boundary Boss, can apply here. I've also done a video on family enmeshment, which might be helpful: th-cam.com/video/3kyqOCX9dsw/w-d-xo.html I hear you saying you feel guilty or sad when you see your mom being bored or alone, and also that you're scared that by focusing on your needs, you won't spend enough time with her. While it is sweet to care, you're not responsible for your mom's feelings. You going to the gym and taking care of your health is a good thing! Of course, you can also make time to spend with your mom, too. It's about what feels good to you. Where is the balance, for you? Only you can figure that out. Personally, I love visiting my mom at least once a week (she lives nearby) and having a meal and catching up with her. But I still live my own life, too. I also have more about guilt and boundaries here: th-cam.com/video/Yf8r5uYQABI/w-d-xo.html because so often, we feel guilty even when we've done nothing wrong. As for the fear of regretting time not spent with someone, I touched on this with David Kessler in this interview: th-cam.com/video/P298xjYh_TI/w-d-xo.html We talk about anticipatory grief at 37:10. I thought he had some great advice and we talk about my mother, so it might be helpful. ❤️
@@ineswonder you’re so young and I am so happy you have found Terri. I would’ve had such a different life with resources like this available and such great information to help fuel my decisions! I’m 40 and my only advice to you would be to be kind about it but absolutely prioritize your wellbeing above all!! It’s how you live your best life and give your best self to those you love, like your mom. Sending you positive energy and wishing you endless blessings for your life ❤️
Definitely follow John on Instagram or TikTok for more! Beyond his own podcast, he also has a podcast with my other pal, Shaun Galanos (who I've had on my show before). It's called "We Can Do Better." ❤️
@ I have been meaning to send a comment to you about the book, I recently finished too much and omg its a handbook for so many women. You deepened my understanding of codependency in a way that I felt empowered vs what is wrong with me. Thank you so much for the work you are doing, I love the podcast and the books, its so relatable and easy to digest. I recently turned 40 and can honestly say that you have given me a perspective and journaling tools that have and will continue to change my life for the better. You’re healing us with your wisdom because its laced with love and kindness and honesty!!!!!!! You’re filling a void so many of have because our mothers just didn’t know how to teach us these gifts. I hope you have a year full of blessings because you are that for so many people 🙏🏽💯❤️ you are so beautiful inside and out. I have nicknamed you mama T 🥰
John Kim, I love what you say at the end about love. Thank you. 🌹
Hi Terri,
I’ve been following you for a while now, and I really admire the content you create. You often tackle deep and meaningful topics, which is why I wanted to share an idea for a potential video that’s very close to my heart.
At 17, I’m starting to become more independent and take time for myself, but I sometimes feel guilty or sad when I see my mom being bored or alone while I’m away, for instance, when I go to the gym. I’m scared that by focusing on my own needs, I won’t spend enough time with her and might regret it later.
I think this feeling of balancing independence while not wanting to "leave our loved ones behind" is something many people, especially those with strong family bonds, can relate to.
Maybe you could address this topic in a future video? For example, how to find a balance between taking care of ourselves and being there for our loved ones, and how to manage the fear of regretting the time we don’t spend with them.
Thank you in advance if you decide to talk about it, and thank you for always sharing inspiring content! Wishing you lots of success in everything you do.
With admiration,
Inès
Hi Inès, thanks so much for sharing your idea and for being here ❤️ I think a lot of what I cover in my book, Boundary Boss, can apply here. I've also done a video on family enmeshment, which might be helpful: th-cam.com/video/3kyqOCX9dsw/w-d-xo.html
I hear you saying you feel guilty or sad when you see your mom being bored or alone, and also that you're scared that by focusing on your needs, you won't spend enough time with her. While it is sweet to care, you're not responsible for your mom's feelings. You going to the gym and taking care of your health is a good thing! Of course, you can also make time to spend with your mom, too. It's about what feels good to you. Where is the balance, for you? Only you can figure that out. Personally, I love visiting my mom at least once a week (she lives nearby) and having a meal and catching up with her. But I still live my own life, too. I also have more about guilt and boundaries here: th-cam.com/video/Yf8r5uYQABI/w-d-xo.html because so often, we feel guilty even when we've done nothing wrong.
As for the fear of regretting time not spent with someone, I touched on this with David Kessler in this interview: th-cam.com/video/P298xjYh_TI/w-d-xo.html We talk about anticipatory grief at 37:10. I thought he had some great advice and we talk about my mother, so it might be helpful. ❤️
@@ineswonder you’re so young and I am so happy you have found Terri. I would’ve had such a different life with resources like this available and such great information to help fuel my decisions! I’m 40 and my only advice to you would be to be kind about it but absolutely prioritize your wellbeing above all!! It’s how you live your best life and give your best self to those you love, like your mom. Sending you positive energy and wishing you endless blessings for your life ❤️
@@terri_cole thank you so much!🎀🎀🎀i will check it out 🤍
@@dnmp4632 thank you so much for your precious advice 💘💘
Nice to hear more about your journey Terri 💕👌
❤️
Perfect timing Terri! Thank you. I didn’t know about John Kim! I like him. You pick good friends 😀. I like Mark Groves too.
Definitely follow John on Instagram or TikTok for more!
Beyond his own podcast, he also has a podcast with my other pal, Shaun Galanos (who I've had on my show before). It's called "We Can Do Better." ❤️
This was fabulous ❤
Glad you enjoyed it ❤️
@ I have been meaning to send a comment to you about the book, I recently finished too much and omg its a handbook for so many women. You deepened my understanding of codependency in a way that I felt empowered vs what is wrong with me. Thank you so much for the work you are doing, I love the podcast and the books, its so relatable and easy to digest. I recently turned 40 and can honestly say that you have given me a perspective and journaling tools that have and will continue to change my life for the better. You’re healing us with your wisdom because its laced with love and kindness and honesty!!!!!!! You’re filling a void so many of have because our mothers just didn’t know how to teach us these gifts. I hope you have a year full of blessings because you are that for so many people 🙏🏽💯❤️ you are so beautiful inside and out. I have nicknamed you mama T 🥰
This warms my heart so much, thank you for taking the time to let me know how my work has helped you along your journey ❤️❤️❤️
✨️Terri Cole, that is a lovely sweater. Beautiful! 🪷
❤️
You guys are great, however, I’m not sure the title fits the talk.
It is the name of the newest book by John Kim. I was missing that as well.
❤️