I swear theres always that ONE person that will find fault in everyone in a story. The people wanted free labor WHILE insulting the person they demand free labor from and the person isn't just supposed to get angry and immediately take away that free perk.
"You've let them take advantage of you for so long, you've created an expectation! How dare you stand up for yourself and your daughter when this is clearly *your* fault!" Someone always has to find a way to make offenders out of the victim and victimize the offenders, and they're usually just as entitled as the offenders they're defending.
@@evanundefined430 and the logic is so stupid, like when do you need a plumber and it isn't an emergency. No one is calling a plumber for a routine toilet checkup. You call when something is broken and plumbing is very very very bad when it's broken in literally any way
Well, yeah. The folks running the channel want to drive up viewer engagement, so they're gonna have at least one complete idiot per story that'll make the likes of us rise up in outrage and comment.
I will never understand people who look down on people in the trades. Oh, they’re ‘beneath you,’ eh? Then figure out how to cart off your own sewage, you’re so damn smart.
Story 2: Probable future update: My family encouraged me to demand a paternity test. Wife agreed. Results determined that I am the bio-dad, but wife handed me divorce papers the next day.
If the wife had any self-respect she never would have had unprotected sex with him in the first place. Theres no way she didn't know what kind of guy he is.
It might be better for the wife, to divorce first do the DNA test later for child support. He is a loser right now. I hope he does a 180 and comes to his senses.
Add to your story…three years after the divorce the now ex-wife marries a really great guy. The daughter calls the stepfather “Daddy” and OP can’t understand how this could happen.
Or “I got kicked out of the doctors office for asking if there is such a thing as a prenatal sex change. It’s just a simple question?” I’m with the majority that the wife should bail since he already has
@@johnbradbury8610You do know that people's true colors aren't always shown first thing in relationships, right? I've known people whose spouses turned on them in their 5th year of marriage. Your victim-blaming is disgusting af.
Final story: NTA, and I hate that comment about just making the daughter 'think of all the fun she had instead'. Nothing will be lost if OP takes his daughter for a second trip where they don't have to deal with a step-sibling with special needs that is literally half the daughter's age. I mean already, taking out the autism, there was little chance daughter would bond with a step-sibling at 15 that is basically in another generation than her. Commentors also love to throw ablism accusations whenever its brought up that sometimes people with disabilities realistically have a hard time with things. It's not the son's fault he is autistic, but the reality is he cannot help it and is prone to meltdowns. Daughter is allowed to be disappointed when it happens and ruins things, and needs to be allowed to do things on her own to avoid resentment.
Thank you so much. OP never said anything negative about his daughter’s stepbrother. And telling her to focus on the good of the trip sounds like people who go around thinking that if someone picks and torments you then they have a crush on you. OP validates his daughter’s feelings. Her mother and stepdad seemed to be the ableist for putting their son in a situation which would trigger him. It’s as though they wanted to pretend that they are a happy normal family
NAH. Mom wanted to do something fun for all her kids and she underestimated how her son could handle the situation. The daughter being upset was understandable. OP wanting to give her a redo without her brother is a good gesture. He never bad mouthed the boy. He just wants his daughter to have a fun experience and good memories of a vacation.
Last story: def a case if well sibling syndrome. I’m sick for these poor children always taking a backseat to autistic and adhd kids. First they’re ignored, then they’re parentified. The amount of gaslighting, reversing blame, and not getting their needs met, in favor of the difficult child is heartbreaking.
YES. How comes all these parents don't try to seek acocmodations from people that are NOT, let me see, hum, ha ha, THEIR OTHER CHILDREN? Places like these have assistance passes for guests with autism and other developmental disabilities (lmao seems like I'm advertising). The boy's father should have taken him with a pass and the teen should've enjoyed better with her mom at least for a while, let's say half the time. Boy's father would've shared the parenting of the boy with the mother and teen would've still had some mom-daughter time, creating good memories with her mother and learning how to coexist in a blended family.
My brother isn't as effected by his ASD and ADHD, but I still had shadows of this. And I wasn't even a 'well child'. I discovered in my early 30's that I have ADHD too, not to mention the anxiety and other issues I had growing up. All I can say is, I'm glad my mother worked hard to keep me from being parentified, and put things in place so I'd never have to be in charge of my brother as an adult. There was still a lot of pressure to be the 'good kid', whether it was intended or not, though.
Autistic person here. I could only handle 5 hours of Disneyland tops before it was too much and needed to leave. One parent would go back to the hotel with me while the other stayed with my nerotypical sibling at the park. As I got older, I was allowed to stay in the hotel room by myself. I mostly napped. And the rest of my family got to enjoy Disneyland without me dragging down the mood.
Story 1: Not all lawyers are millionaires. Some struggle to make a living. Plumbers, on the other hand, not only make a good living, but some make a great living. More often in life you are going to need a plumber, electrician, heating technician or carpenter than a lawyer.
My brother is a lawyer and I was a street sweeper and during the corona crap he said we were more important than lawyers because we prevented more issues arose by keeping the streets clean when none could go anywhere. then again he has always been proud of me no matter what job I had lol
I honestly wonder how much public defenders make.. My county shares a public defenders office with 4 other countys.. There is a female public defender in that office that I swear looks like she shops from the donation store (St. Vincent De Paul).. I've seen her a few times and I always think "damn, this lawyer can't even afford to shop at Walmart"..
Story 1: this hit me in the heart because i face the same thing in my own life. my family always pushed for me to be a doctor or a lawyer or dentist, anything along the lines of 'successful careers". i did well in school (A's and B's) but i never wanted those things. i always loved computers, but i never liked sitting in a classroom. a friend with a tech company hired me right out of school and the techs taught me everything they knew and eventually i was running the tech lab myself. fast forward 10 years, Covid hit and the company had to downsize, including the redundancy of the tech lab. so i started a small business from home, mostly repairs, networking and troubleshooting for private homes and small businesses. work has been somewhat steady and i'm happy, but my family is always on my butt about me not going to college, harping on about other kids who i went to school with and how they are 'successful' as doctors and lawyers and whatnot. needless to say i get pissed off, but i keep it in......until they need help with a tech issue and they call me...... i used to do it for free, because usually it's minor issues and i can fix them in a few minutes, but now i send them an invoice for approval before i do any work (i usually get them to tell me the 'issue' and i draw up an invoice for consultancy as well as transportation fees for me having to drive over to their places and repair costs), then when the job is completed i have them sign a work manifest, i give them a copy and i keep a copy for my records, and i ask whether they will pay by cash, cheque, card, cashapp, etc. and i print the proper bill for the transaction..... needless to say they think i'm an AH for this, but i point out that doctors charge for a visit, lawyers charge for representation, the restaurant charge for their food and I charge for my services.
Story 1, NTA. The "parents" are mad that they got a slap in the face that what op does is just as big and successful as their lawyer son. To try to push op's daughter to be "more successful" than her dad is disgusting. All op did was get back at them for trying to force HIS kid to go for something she doesn't want just to be successful aka have lots of money and showed them that op is just as successful as his brother which they have refused to acknowledge. Their horrible people and money isn't everything. I was taught by my parents to go for what we want and what makes us happy NOT for money. All it will do is make you miserable.
I'd not be surprised, if the parents are the type who brag about there successful child and since Op is "not successful" and does a "shameful job", they can't mention him or hate to do so. It would fit perfectly-
And the commenter who argued that the parents were rescuing OPs daughter because vet techs witness people wanting to end their pets lives. Don’t they realize it’s the vet who puts the animals down and only do so when nothing else can be done to help the creature?
@@lorilancaster5917 I agree 💯. Usually an animal is put down when nothing else can be done. That commenter was clearly uneducated and doesn't know how it works with animals.
The parents are G0DD@MN @$$H0L3$ and if I was him I would not have even offered the "family discount" and made them pay FULL PRICE. Only a G0DD@MN $H1✝H0L3 has 2 successful children that are successful in DIFFERENT ways and keeps comparing them in an attempt to make one of them feel "superior" and the other feel "inferior" based on shallow bullcrap of which one earns more money or which one has more "prestige". Did they ever ONCE tell OP that they were proud of him? I am surprised that they did not flat out tell his daughter not to become a loser like her father because that is what they were thinking I am sure. Hell, I would have put them on the WAITING LIST and made them wait their turn. They should have been APPRECIATIVE that he pushed them to the front of his waiting list and gave them a discount.
Story 1: NTA, final comment is wrong. OP is not an AH for putting his foot down, his parents took him for granted so OP stopped letting them walk all over him, still gave them a discounted rate and offered to give them priority, and let them shop around and realize not only would paying a fair price be expensive but they would have to wait. We need to STOP normalizing family from thinking they can take advantage of other family member's talents and professions for 'free'. It's funny how often its only jobs and talents that are looked down on as less then (plumbers, bakers, artists, etc.) who usually are told their work is not worth their time to do it, yet are still demanded to do said work for free.
That’s because Reddit is so freaking bias, and often choose the project rather than listening to logic. And there’s such hypocrites all about preaching good morality. No, they don’t know anything about good morality and that last comment is an idiot. It’s like one of those pushy vegans are Christians that try to push their beliefs on the people No matter what there’s always gonna be idiots like this that think they know more
THIS! Who cares if they're family? Anyone that treats you with disrespect shouldn't expect respect on return. The parents got a reality check from OP, and a long time coming, and anyone who says that he went too far are doormats who would rather keep the peace than grow a spine.
It never gets old. Lawyers are infinitely _less_ necessary to society than _any craftsperson_ . Yet somehow _the professional liars_ are held in admiration while the people crucial to our civilisations continued existence is seen as 'less than'. Boggles the mind.
I had an instructor who worked for NASA. They were standing next to the car with the hood up trying to find out what was wrong. The garage guy could fix it in a half hour. It is what you know and how to use the knowledge. Everyone is good at something.
Story 2: you threw up Nadal temper tantrum at the gender reveal party and put your wife away when you found out the baby was a girl. The only thing you didn't do wrong with just flat out tell your wife that you're not going to love the child because she's a girl. What did you think her reaction was going to be? It's fine if you wanted a boy but your reaction was ridiculous, and you need to get your priorities straight before your daughter is born.
ESH, both of them for having a gender reveal party. OP for being a disgusting misogynist AH. Ops wife for having a child with Op knowing the kind of person he is.
As I read that story, I kept thinking 'OP doesn't understand statistics'. No matter how long the string of boys is, the odds on the sex of the next one are 50:50 (unless they are practicing female infanticide.)
He never said he wouldn't love a girl. He knew his family history. His family is predisposed to having almost only sons. He had accepted that fact growing up. Hell my family is the same way we're about 80% female. We just accepted when we have kids they're mainly gonna be girls and the few out cropping of a baby boy. There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointed that the life you figured you'd have just get pulled out from under you. Yall are confusing disappointment in the life he fated himself to have and "hating girls" He's NOT disappointed its a girl. He's disappointed the life he thought he had to accept is not gonna happen. There's nothing wrong with that. Sure people can be disappointed in the gender of their kids and STILL love them. Not once did op said he WOULDN'T or DIDN'T love his child. yall need to get off what ever crack your smoking.
@@aidendaniels4063 correct. It's so tiring listening to people spout the same old crap, and disregard the guys feelings instead of trying to be accepting and understanding of his disappointment, like you said, he's not necessarily upset about having a girl, just at not having a boy, and who's to say he won't end up doing all the "boy stuff" with her anyway? Why are people so quick to just disregard and belittle a man at the drop of a hat? Smh
If you are in any kind of "undesirable" service industry, God bless you and thank you for your service. You're worth your weight in gold. I *wish* I had the kind of skills that could get me a job as a plumber or sanitation worker instead of my useless liberal arts degree.
Story 1: no they disrespected you and your job and you show them exactly how valuable it actually was. This is why we don't bite the hand that feeds us, in your case your hand once payment for their services. Tell them exactly why you're charging them, and don't stop until they understand the real value in having the son like you. Also make them apologize to your daughter for disrespecting her career choice.
The last comment was dumb, it wasn't to teach a lesson. His child was facing the same hurtful treatment he did and decided that it was enough. He didn't use an emergency as a lesson that was just pure karma at its finest timing. Doesn't matter if he set a precedent in the past when it came to helping them everyone has their boundaries and their limits and they found his and trampled all over it.
So OP has his own business but he's asking reddit if he's the AH for charging his parents after they have been rude to him and his children? have some self-respect.
@@nicolezavala5745 Exactly. The demands on his and every other plumber in the area was extraordinarily high due to the flooding. It was the perfect time to draw that boundary hard so that for once his parents would have to respect his time and skills.
@@eywine.7762 exactly 💯. They just don't like realizing that op is actually VERY successful just like their lawyer son. All because they feel like that op's field/his business is beneath them, it's stupid. Then to dare to treat his daughter the same way they treated him because they only care about money and status. I was raised that you go for what career you want and money shouldn't matter. Going for a career nothing but money rather than what your passionate about will only lead to misery.
Story 1: NTA. I would have added on “Oh, and you can’t talk to my children anymore. I don’t want their _Loser_ to rub off on you”. They don’t get to belittle your perfectly respectable profession and benefit.
Story 4: NTA. Yes purchases (especially big ones) can be a pretty important thing that the other parent needs to know about, but he is a legal adult and everything was taken care of by you. He sounds like a good kid so I doubt he is going to do something bad, and even if he does she can now give him adult consequences. It not exactly a 2 person decision anymore.
The ex should only be upset if she had planned to buy son a car which she didn’t. Otherwise she could’ve just given the son the money. Wonder if this will be a continuing trend for her?
@04:00 It drives me crazy when people commenting on the stories don't understand or listen to the story/facts. OP said that he'd be over to help when he could because he was busy helping others and getting paid for that emergency work. Now the commenter is saying that OP is slapping his parents in the face and holding them hostage by throwing a plumbing fee at them. OP only gave them a simple choice of free plumbing services or jump the cue with paid emergency services. The lawyer brother was charging his fees the entire time.
First story : NTA OP. A good plumber can save more lives than the best surgeon. It's true. Water borne diseases kill thousands of people round the world annually. Be proud of your calling OP. You are every bit as worthy of your hire as your brother.
Story 1- it’s very funny but in life “ the lawyer” will need a plumber more then “ the plumber “ will need a lawyer. I am very sad that the parents don’t realize BOTH of their children are in very good career choices. Good job you silly parents. WAKE-UP
I've used a lawyer three times in the past thirty years, once to buy a house, once to make a will, and once to probate my late wife's will.* I'm on a first name basis with my plumber. *Note to self: See lawyer about a new will.
It seems strange that with the gender reveal "disappointment", nobody reminded the husband that the father determines the sex of the baby. Yet he pushed his wife away. Hmmm....Send him back to high school biology class.
Came looking for this exact reply...and 'thank you'. Opie was so busy readying to be a "boy Dad" he...'forgot' to check as to *who* is 'in charge of *that* decision'. Hint: Not the female... 📚
I cannot IMAGINE being disappointed at having a child who is a plumber. It's a good and necessary service that will always be in demand and (as far as I'm aware) pays well. I sincerely hope my children want good jobs such as that when they grow up. That being said, I do agree with some of the commenters worrying that veterinary school is uncommonly difficult, underpaying,, stressful, and heartbreaking.
in the last story. the girl needs a chance to have fun without having to deal with her brother's problems. disneyland might be way too much stimulation for an autistic child. too many children who have special needs siblings are denied a whole lot because of it. if they have a chance to enjoy something without their sibling ruining it, then go for it.
There were two adults, why couldn't they split up, one takes the daughter for her fun and the other finds a place more suitable for the son and later they switch. The daughter should not be more understanding of her brother's issues the parents should have made better arrangements.
@@velvety2006 that's pretty much what i was suggesting. the girl shouild have fun in her way and the boy should have fun his way. taking them anywhere exciting together will not work out.
Last story: That last comment is pretty funny "no one is seeing this through the ex's lens" nah man I am. Ex knows she has an autistic child she and her husband should know better than anyone what will trigger a meltdown. She should have been somewhat aware that Disneyland isn't the place to take him, or at the very least had plans in place to help soothe him/ have the father take the child some place quite to calm him. I know this is only one instance so it may be a stretch, but I really wouldn't be surprised if the ex is they type of parent who tries to force doing "normal" family things knowing full well her autistic child won't be able to handle it well.
It sounds like you would be smart enough not to have a child with him in the first place. I find it hard to believe she didn't know how misogynistic OP and his family are.
#1 Tale of 2 friends. One went to a plumber's apprenticeship; the other went to college & then to law school. Fast forward 7 years. The plumber is an established businessman & a home owner. The lawyer has a 6 digit school debt, and is living with his parents. My cousin is a retired plumber; he made a better living than most MD's.
Lack of sanitation is a large cause of death and illness in underdeveloped regions, so yeah I'd believe plumbers save more lives than doctors by preventing outbreaks of easily preventable yet dangerous diseases.
Story 2: Holy moly. This guy is an idiot. I get that he wanted a boy, and that's fine, but his reaction is very wrong. I for one would love to have a boy, but am equally fine with a girl. I have a list of both boy and girl names already made in my head for the day that happens.
I do expect I’ll have a daughter because my family is the same on my mom’s side. There are 10 grandchildren- 9 girls and 1 boy. It’s more likely I’ll have a girl but who knows. That’s it I have kids or that 20% chance of a boy happens.
I had 2 girls the wife and I both wanted a son....we got twin boys lol. There is nothing wrong with wanting a boy or girl but can't treat your spouse like crap because it doesn't go the way you want
Him shoving his wife away when she tried to hug him right after finding out the gender of their baby at the party is beyond the pail. This was a CELEBRATION that was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in all of their lives and instead of being happy and excited like she is he SHOVES HER AWAY WHEN SHE TRIES TO GIVE HIM AN EXCITED HUG??? I hope that @$$H0L3 is prepared for a DIVORCE and 18 years of child support payments and since he does not want to be the father I hope next time his ex wife marries a REAL MAN that the child can call DAD.
@@bettreon him shoving her away when she tried to give him a hug right when she was experiencing what was (or should have been) the happiest moment of both of their lives at a party meant to celebrate that happiness will have done PERMANENT damage to their relationship and if she does not divorce him they will have a crap show of a marriage. The entire family should have taken HER SIDE and angrily rebuked him. I would love a follow up to make sure that she got alimony and child support from him.
I understand whether it's the mom or dad having conflicting feelings when it comes the the baby's gender but that something you need to take to your therapist, best friend or close family member 1 on 1 to vent about. Your partner and/or spouse certainly doesn't want to hear about it especially after a gender reveal because it will come across as tacky, rude and sexist. There's a list of things that are better left unsaid or only to a counselor/therapist and this is certainly on the list.
I’ve been ripped off 2X by lawyers and ignored by a 3rd. My son wasn’t down for college and he’s a Pipe Fitter now. I’ve been a Registered Nurse for 25 years and my son is catching up to me after a few years 😊 The amount of money one makes does not mean contentment in a career. Everyone is different. We need all kinds of people doing all kinds of jobs. Being closed minded is not a career 😂
Someone needs to tell gender disappointment boy that gender is down to the man so he should kick himself in the balls if his disappointment with the job they did
I'm getting sick of posts that say "be the bigger person". No, be the petty person. The parents don't want to think your job is valuable then show them how valuable it is.
4:28 How does the OP know his son would want to do all of the things he wants to do? How does he know his daughter won't want to do them? What If he did have a son, would he do if he one day came out as gay, non-binary, transgender, et cetera? (I believe you get the gender twice: once from the doctor telling you what parts to expect, and once from the kid when they're old enough to know and understand.)
Story 3: NTA. It sounds like all you did was show up. The fact that it just so happens to be once in a blue moon and everyone needs to catch up then isn’t your fault.
I noticed that she quoted, "Stop stealing the spotlight AGAIN."You always out do me." Sounds like a Lisa/Bart situation, and there were constant situations where OP was the main focus. Even in situations where the brother should be the focus. Sounds like a lot of resentment and anger towards OP, whom he views as the golden child.
it does not matter what the mother feels. the daughter's trip was ruined because of her brothers disability. i think its a good thing letting her have good experiences and not limiting her life because of her brother. I understand the brother having a hard time at Disneyland, i have had an Autistic meltdown their to so i sympathize but i think the reason is irrelevant. It is great he is doing something nice for the daughter. Side note i do think they should have looked into accommodations for the brother before going to Disneyland, might have made the trip better.
That ESH comment sounded to me like "You should've told your daughter to suck it up because her brother (half-brother?) is more important!" Her mother and stepdad took the two of them to Disneyland. Brother had multiple tantrums, ruining the trip for her. When her father says he'll take her so she can actually enjoy the trip, mom and stepdad get upset. Sounds like mom and stepdad should be worried about daughter cutting contact in the next couple years. It's obvious who they give preferential treatment.
@@asmith8692 Some people on Reddit love to crap out parenting advice which basically comes down to “make the wronged child shut up because it’s a good lesson and caring and compassion”. Not everything in life has to be a lesson and so what if wanting to enjoy a day not ruined by a screaming child and dragged around by adults who don’t care for her is selfish? Are people not allowed to be a bit selfish just because someone else has autism? It’s not like the daughter is demanding they dump the brother on the side of the road and bolt.
@@asmith8692 who are you responding too? i did not say anything about focusing on the positives. please check that you commented under the right comment
S1: Huge NTA. Parents can shove their elitism. OP should have started charging them for his work long ago. They're never going to respect him or his work, so why should he cut them any breaks? Especially after harassing his daughter. From here on out, no discounts for them at all.
AND he moved them to the front of the waiting list. No more of that either. I posted above that I am wondering if they even ONCE congratulated him for being a successful plumber and told him that they were proud of him? I wish I could see a follow up to this story. I am wondering if they will make amends at some point? Maybe the LAWYER brother can keep giving them free legal advice to make the plumber look bad for charging them?
The comment that you used the emergency to teach them a lesson sounded like a criticism, but think about it, that was the best time to teach them a lesson. You were in the right.
Son's car story : If OP had told his ex wife that he was buying a car for his son's graduation, how could he do it without seeming to boast to her or make her feel inadequate if she could not afford a gift of similar cost? This being a reality, why would he tell her if she would start complaining (as she did) and telling him what he could and could not do with his money in relation to his legally adult son? NTA
He has primary custody, so why are you assuming that she's a decent parent? Why are you assuming that she wouldn't try to talk OP in buying a cheaper car, that the son doesn't want? Why are you assuming that the ex wouldn't try and take all the credit for such a wonderful surprise? All you've really done is heard "Woman" and then let "Women Are Wonderful Syndrome" do the thinking for you.
The only reason, why OP could/should have mentioned it to the ex, is in case EX wanted to buy a car for the son as well. Maybe she planed to, but couldn't afford such a nice car. But it's more likely she's just butthurt.
@@deborahdicesare9042 - The person who started this thread... if that is not obvious, I don't know if you can be helped. Though... I've re-read the comment and fresh eyes show, I'm an idiot.
Story 2: YTA, it is one thing to have a minor preference of gender, but your family history is irrelevant, as every-time a child is conceived it is 50/50. Being so disappointed that you "need to gather yourself" isn't anywhere near how an adult acts over such a minor thing.
nt all the time, i mean if u have a family history of males in the family it can be a major possibity it could be a boy, hes allowed to be dissapointed cos he wanted a boy sucks he acted like a moron but did he once say at all he wasnt gnna love his child? no for all we know he had the shock he said sorry to his wife and how he wanted a boy and now hes thinking its a girl i should be a dad no matter what but since its a guy he has to be shit on no matter what cos reddit
@@bl4ckhearts802he's literally posting cause he doesn't want to apologize and he thinks he's right. There's always some loser trying making excuses for these bums in the comments.
and for all we know he finally came to his sense and did, theres always some cum stain who thinks that guys are always the morons and women do no wrong and reddit is always wrong
As far as the Disney story, there's a difference between having autism and raising your child to be a spoiled brat. We don't know the full story, so we can't tell which it is in this case.
Story 2 - YTA. Your whole family sucks for creating this mindset that gender is a guaranteed thing and that not upholding the “tradition” of having a child of a specific gender would be the worst possible thing. I think I’d be filing for divorce if this happened to me, I’d be scared for my child to endure abuse from my spouse’s family as they grow up. But if I knew about this family mindset, I would have never married into this family in the first place.
Honestly it’s bizarre, I’m so used to hearing stories where the first boy/girl born into the family in generations was treated like the next coming of the messiah that hearing kinda the opposite is wild to me
@@3adgamd3r I haven’t heard of those ones as often, but I did read an article a little while back where the family was so excited for the first girl born in several generations. Some families make it seem so stressful to be a part of them like OP’s family, or that story where the OP’s MIL claimed she purposefully made the baby a girl and everything went to shit and last I heard they were divorcing/divorced.
@@fallingawayfromthenorm I think that has an update, but I can’t remember what it is I’m afraid (the story you referenced) And I don’t get why the OP wouldn’t want a daughter? Like, I’d be psyched if I was the one who broke the tradition because it’d mean my daughter would have something super unique and interesting about her before she was even born Idk sexism is weird
@@3adgamd3r It always makes me sad how common it is for people to put more value in the gender of their child than just the blessing having a child when you want to be a parent is. I was scared an old worker was going to resent her daughter because all she ever talked about was how much she wanted sons and how much she hated girls, and luckily it worked out where she adores her two daughters. But you never know which ones will actually come around and love their kids and which ones will always secretly resent the ones of whichever gender they don’t prefer.
@@fallingawayfromthenorm funnily enough I was actually the hypothetical boy child mentioned in the comments, my dad wanted a manly, extroverted boy, instead he got an autistic introvert, and I honestly don’t know if he ever even loved me My point is that even if he had had a boy, the boy may never have turned out like he wanted I could easily see my dad in OP
S1: plumbing is something we cannot live without. I give plumbers full respects for cleaning up people's crap. Also, the esh commenter is an idiot. OP made it reasonable, as a business owner, with his services (aka emergency fee). Labor is and should never be free.
must be someone who has a relative who is a plumber and got charged instead of doing it for free lol and op probably did try to talk to them but gave up you can't argue with stupid
@@velvety2006 the only other reason he made the fee was because his parents were trying to force his daughter into a career that makes money and success (since they think OP's job makes him a 'loser').
Engagement Pooper: NTA - You were conforming to social norms; your brother actually feels some kind of way about you. What does he think people talk about at parties with family they haven't seen in a while? I was recently at a family funeral. I assure you, there was FAR more talk about other topics than the deceased, including with and by the immediate family. Even the widow asked about my life, too.
Story 1, I love how a person in the position OP’s daughter wanted to be in explained how soul crushing the work can be, didn’t rationalize the parents’ favoritism and snobbery, just warning OP that his daughter may suffer a lot in the position, and Reddit took it as them siding with the parents.
Story 1: I'll bet that, taken side by side, the two brothers probably don't make that different in wages. Unless we're talking about a high-powered corporate law partner, lawyers are actually a fairly LOW paid profession vs. the amount of work they actually put into a case. It's not as glorious or prestigious a profession as people seem to think for a quarter million dollar education. All told, the plumber might actually have the better quality of life in the end.
The low paid ones are probably the better ones anyways. Have watched a few lawyers on here and there are some very nice people in law, those corporate ones that make all the money are parasites on society.
i hate this gender parties i've seen so many parents and family throwing tantrums it's so dissapointing and a shame for the kid it's not funny how these people behave and how many fight this bring
The gender reveal story: he’s like my father. As soon as he got a son from one of his old girlfriend’s he pretty much forgot about the 3 daughters he already had. So OP can either fix his look in life or he’s gonna be the first and biggest disappointment to his daughter.
I knew a guy in a similar position. His family was all college graduates except for him. He became an electrician, served in the military and eventually owned his own contracting business. His siblings all have multiple graduate degrees, but have struggled financially and are frequently underemployed.
Story 2: YTA. Look, this is a surprise you need to process. I can respect that. But the fact that you we so sure and so ready to have a *Boy* is a problem. Things don’t always happen the way you want or expect and you need to be ready for that. Honestly having a girl is going to be the least of your worries as a parent.
What I don't understand is why OP didn't know the result as soon as his wife ( and party planners ) did. She surely knew his feelings, as he'd been referring to the baby as 'he' for the whole pregnancy. Sounds like she sprung a spiteful little surprise on him.
Wow the OP who doesn’t know how biology works and was a AH at the gender reveal is the AH. Edited to add, it’s not too late to Separate. I can’t imagine he will be a good father girl or boy.
Yea that reaction was extreme…pushed her away because he wanted a boy! My step family had a similar thing where for at least 3 generations it was all boys, then my stepbrothers first child was a girl, breaking the streak. You know what everyone did..celebrate.
Honestly I’m kinda glad he doesn’t understand how it works, guaranteed he would’ve kicked off and accused her of cheating if he did Poor woman doesn’t deserve to be humiliated like that at her own baby’s gender reveal party
Story 1, OP is not the ah. He's been putting up with them for years, and they felt they were entitled to his help because, y'know, trade job. The only reason he charged them was because he was busy and they kept pushing him anyway. They were in for quite a shock when they found out how much a plumber costs, not even thinking that they were taking OP away from paying customers to bow to their bidding. OP did the correct thing. A plumber might not be a glamorous job but what he did was just as important...as they found out...as the lawyer they were so proud of.
Story 2: This man pushed away his wife after finding out he's having a girl & went to Reddit for what? Sympathy? Of course his reaction is AH behavior. My dad wanted a boy & got me. When my younger brother was born he cried (he didn't cry when I was born) But he & I have a good relationship because I'm his kid!! My cousin wanted a boy, he got two girls & is the best girl dad ever. OP is the biggest AH, his wife has every reason to be mad. Who the hell reacts like this??
Wow that first story hit close to home for me. My husband is the black sheep between his brothers. Both are lawyers hubby carpenter. His my brags about brothers but hubby the one that actually helps them out with turning apartment a.d.a ready for fil. It's gotten to the point we had to step back on what we do after fil family point out hubby is the useful son not the brothers.
Story 2: Unless this idiot gets his head on straight and Fast it might be better for his wife to ditch him. Being a disappointment child with a father who doesn't want you will be way harder on that girl than living with a single mom.
My son is just 13 and does not due well will school. We have discussed his future and what he would like to do. I have encouraged him to go into a trade and see an apprenticeship and he agrees that would be the best venture for him. We will start looking at different trades to find what de would enjoy and do best at over the next few years. We jointly realize this is the best path for his future over going to college and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
The baby reveal: I’m so glad my dad wasn’t that type to be “ mad he wasn’t have a boy” . My dad was happy to have a daugher ,I Did do alot of boy stuff and I’m named after him, but when I wanted to do girly stuff he was there. He let me paint his nails, put make up on him and ect
I come from one of those small towns where everyone knows everyone. A couple of my friends, brothers, own their own businesses. One is an electrician and the other a plumber. They taught their sons as well. The boys are about 10 months apart in age. By the time they were 22/23 they BOTH owned their own homes on about 5 acres of land. They own their own cars outright, having paid cash. They have steady, recession proof careers, a good amount in savings, and are far better off than most of their friends who wend hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt for the "university experience."
A plumber is a very important job. Just as much is a lawyer is. Not everyone Hass to go to university and vet techs are a very important role to veterinarian they work off each other, parents and grandparents can worry and want the best for them but when they start pushing and pushing and not understanding the harm they’re doing they need to be put in their place are blocked forever.
NTA. They needed to pay so they could understand that you are a successful businessman and you needed to put your foot down. If they want to be rude and mean to you, than you don't owe them any plumbing help when they have any. They can't treat you like crap and still expect service.
I'd been reading a lot of Chinese webnovels in lately. And from ancient up to 1980's, scholars are always been looked up to and those in businesses (even if it a skill bases business) are considered in lower class (even if the businessmen are richer than the emperor itself) Anyway, the 1st story kinda reminded me of the webnovels I'd been reading lately
Many years ago when I was a midwife a lovely couple had their 3rd girl. Whilst having an idle chat with her, l mentioned the baby ' s gender and asked if her husband was disappointed. For medical reasons she couldn't have another baby. She uttered the immortal words ' my husband says only real men father girls '
Last Story: the last place OP's step-brother should have been taken is Disneyland. It was bound to trigger him. It looks like OP's Ex is a rubbish mother if she could not work that out. And you can buy priority tickets in Disneyland that avoid the queues.
Last Stort: …really? The daughter had a terrible time on the trip she was looking forward to because the entire trip was focused on her son. The daughter acted SOOOO maturely here, didnt complain at all, just vented to her Dad and he wanted to make it up to her. NTA Op you sound like a good dad.
Story 1- The problem is that no one appreciates things when they are "free". Look at what happened to U2 when they gave out a free album. OP should have done what his brother did and charge his parents from the start.
1: Not only do they insult OP but they do it in front of his daughter. The next time the parents need help they can call their golden child. 2: If the reveal was being filmed, the future daughter WILL eventually see her father’s reaction and be very hurt by it. How is he going to explain to her his blatantly angry and disappointed response to hearing about her? 3: I wouldn’t even bother attending any future family events. Wouldn’t want to take attention away from King Mike the center of the universe. 4: The son is 18, OP is no longer required to tell his ex anything regarding him. Their co-parenting relationship is over. 5: Why should the daughter have to deal with ruined vacations and miss out on fun experiences? It’s not the stepbrother’s fault but it’s not her fault either. As long as it’s not being rubbed in his face that she went on the trip again, who cares?
Same happened to me: my mother pushed me into universitie to study teaching (even though she hated teaching herself 😅). I finished it successfully and now I am working as an assistant for a child during school hours. I earn half of what a childcare worker would earn. I would have worked for 20 years now 😅. It took me that long to free myself of my mother 😢 and find my passion. And I love my work.
Many plumbers here in Australia drive high end cars and live in really nice suburbs. Tradies are getting paid more these days because they work hard and are needed by every member of society. Cheers to the tradies!
Story 1: The world needs more plumbers than lawyers. And there are a hell of a lot of law school graduates who are still paying off their student loans 10 years after they graduate. Plumbers start making money at the beginning of their apprenticeship. Just remember what Shakespeare said about lawyers in Henry VI, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2
I've met this boy family mindset before. I *very* delicately had to point out his mother and grandmothers were in fact girls, so girls do so too run in his family
About the mother being upset that her ex bought the son a car... One of a narcissists pet peeves is when someone close to them is rewarded in some way or is given something. They just have to ruin the experience, break it, throw a fit, insult it or make sure it doesn't happen. My husband did this all the time. Narcissists can't be happy for you for any reason. Don't forget #1 It doesn't matter why and #2 they...will...never...change.
My bro in law is a journeyman plumber. Everyone always takes advantage of him without appreciation. As soon as he started charging for constant help, everyone disappeared.
Final story: I went to Disney World with my family including adult Autistic nephew. My sister arranged fast passes where she could so, we were not waiting in too many lines. She also knew when he needed to step away. If there was another adult on the trip, they have taken her on rides or dealt with the brother and not spoiled her fun. Mom should have planned the trip better. Dad absolutely should retake his Daughter.
Disneyland Story ex-wife can kick rocks. She didn't consider the needs of the Autistic child and people who say they could have bought special passes aren't living in reality. Those passes can be hugely expensive. Personally I wouldn't take my autistic child to Disney specifically because overstimulation is often underestimated. Parents sometimes misjudge the amount of stimulus the child can handle especially in a theme park.
Disneyland story: “think about all the fun she had on the trip”. What fun? She spent days around someone who, not deliberately, was melting down because he was out in a situation he couldn’t cope with. Just because one child is disadvantaged , doesn’t mean the other child is without feelings. I get that the ex is probably frustrated and exhausted, but she really doesn’t seem to care about the daughter’s feelings.
Story 3: man your brother sounds pathetic, all you did was answer people's question because they haven't seen you in a while. You shouldn't slow down because your brother feels inferior, you to do not control each other's lives. After what he said I would feel completely unwanted and leave to.
I don't know about this one. He talks in a verry demeaning way about his brother the trouble maker.. i think OP was the goldenchild and brother was the scapegoat. His i only gave answheres doesn't sit good with me either. So his brother asks him to tone down his bragging about his job. And golden boy acts like a dramaqueen walks out. Can't stand it not to be in the spotlight once. Then to top it of he tattle tail it to mummy.. brother is not the pathetic one, OP is.
ANY party even if it is primarily meant to celebrate the accomplishment of a single person is about people being affectionate and sociable towards each other and having conversations. Even when someone is the CENTER of attention it does not mean that they get ALL of the attention. There is a difference between a successful person's accomplishments coming to light organically as part of a conversation, especially when its a direct answer to a question from someone else, than a person galavanting around showing off and trying to dominate an event. The fact that his brother cannot tell the difference between those 2 distinctions means the he might be socially impaired in some way and be immature or have a cognitive disorder. His fiancee should break things off because being married to a G0DD@MN @$$H0L3 like him would be a nightmare.
There was a VERY similar story told by the opposite side recently. They were the guest of they party, their golden child sibling showed up and ended up being the focus of the party with conversations were solely around their work/travel/life and some of the party plans ended up not going off. When confronted as the golden child they made a scene and left. Funny that in the perspective of that story people found the sibling that walked out to be the AH. This guy is going on about what a deadbeat and troublemaker the sibling was compared to himself being so perfect ... Sounds a lot like the golden child finally didn't get spoiled and had to face that they can't always be the center of attention & couldn't handle it.
@@paulinadeboer3604 or just maybe right maybe the bro was a trouble maker? and just doesnt like the fact that people ask op the questions? like wtf is he ment to do ignore people at the party? is it bragging when people literally ask u what you do ? looks more like the brother was just pissed that he fucked around more and his life isnt going as big as he wanted
@@paulinadeboer3604 if OP truly was the golden child the parents wouldn't have immediately raged at him for leaving and would have been too busy raging at the brother. This is simply a case of someone who, as a commenter pointed out hasn't matured since his teen years, seeing this as a competition.
Car story: NAH. OP and his ex-wife were together for probably 10+ years. They have a kid together. OP and his ex have only been divorced for a couple of years. Now OP is remarried to a much younger wife, and they're about to have multiple kids together. This situation isn't about a car at all. She's not handling her divorce well. She's probably struggling. She can't handle how the person she thought she would be with forever would move on so quickly. OP also doesn't mention if there was an affair. If he married his AP, that would make the ex's reaction even more understandable. On the surface, OP's ex seems like the AH, but this story seems complicated.
Even so, none of that holds any relevance in this situation. The son was already planning to save for the car, why he didn't inform his own mother of his intentions, could be the question that should be answered.
Most people that hold a law degree never set foot in a court room, they write/review contracts, corporate policy, etc. They better get good at working with AI real fast or will find themselves redundant in the very near future.
![CAMPปลิ้น | รวม Highlight 2024! PART [1/2]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6hnvNnvYloU/mqdefault.jpg)
S1: OP, if you own your own plumbing company you probably earn more than your brother the lawyer. Your parents are hung up on status.
plumbing isn't an attractive status but you make a lot more then office job
@@frozezone2947and OP didn’t have to take forever to pay off student loans.
Plus, plumbers, like hvac, nurses, and electricians, are recession proof.
@@lorilancaster5917 Yep, trade school is where its at
@@frozezone2947Plus, I don't see any lawyers hanging out with princesses, sentient mushrooms, and literal stars.
I swear theres always that ONE person that will find fault in everyone in a story. The people wanted free labor WHILE insulting the person they demand free labor from and the person isn't just supposed to get angry and immediately take away that free perk.
"You've let them take advantage of you for so long, you've created an expectation! How dare you stand up for yourself and your daughter when this is clearly *your* fault!"
Someone always has to find a way to make offenders out of the victim and victimize the offenders, and they're usually just as entitled as the offenders they're defending.
@@evanundefined430 and the logic is so stupid, like when do you need a plumber and it isn't an emergency. No one is calling a plumber for a routine toilet checkup. You call when something is broken and plumbing is very very very bad when it's broken in literally any way
Don’t know if XO, searches out the contrarian for entertainment, but there seems to be a lot of them showing up in these stories.
Well, yeah. The folks running the channel want to drive up viewer engagement, so they're gonna have at least one complete idiot per story that'll make the likes of us rise up in outrage and comment.
Exactly, and they still don’t realize how valuable & important his skills are after the emergency! They’re classist idiots
I will never understand people who look down on people in the trades.
Oh, they’re ‘beneath you,’ eh? Then figure out how to cart off your own sewage, you’re so damn smart.
farmers, truckers, tradesmen make the world go round
@@aarongascho4817 Not to mention garbage men! Civilization would literally fall apart without sanitation workers.
@@thedorkone1516I kind of put them together with tradesmen
Our society would literally collapse without them, could you imagine if the garbage ppl decided to go on strike? We’d be doomed.
Damn right! It's honest work, it benefits others and does not hurt them.
Story 2: Probable future update: My family encouraged me to demand a paternity test. Wife agreed. Results determined that I am the bio-dad, but wife handed me divorce papers the next day.
If the wife had any self-respect she never would have had unprotected sex with him in the first place. Theres no way she didn't know what kind of guy he is.
It might be better for the wife, to divorce first do the DNA test later for child support. He is a loser right now. I hope he does a 180 and comes to his senses.
Add to your story…three years after the divorce the now ex-wife marries a really great guy. The daughter calls the stepfather “Daddy” and OP can’t understand how this could happen.
Or “I got kicked out of the doctors office for asking if there is such a thing as a prenatal sex change. It’s just a simple question?”
I’m with the majority that the wife should bail since he already has
@@johnbradbury8610You do know that people's true colors aren't always shown first thing in relationships, right? I've known people whose spouses turned on them in their 5th year of marriage. Your victim-blaming is disgusting af.
Final story: NTA, and I hate that comment about just making the daughter 'think of all the fun she had instead'. Nothing will be lost if OP takes his daughter for a second trip where they don't have to deal with a step-sibling with special needs that is literally half the daughter's age. I mean already, taking out the autism, there was little chance daughter would bond with a step-sibling at 15 that is basically in another generation than her. Commentors also love to throw ablism accusations whenever its brought up that sometimes people with disabilities realistically have a hard time with things. It's not the son's fault he is autistic, but the reality is he cannot help it and is prone to meltdowns. Daughter is allowed to be disappointed when it happens and ruins things, and needs to be allowed to do things on her own to avoid resentment.
Agree 💯 👏👏
Agreed, OP simply told the truth that the kid was having meltdowns. It's not like OP called him a brat.
Thank you so much. OP never said anything negative about his daughter’s stepbrother. And telling her to focus on the good of the trip sounds like people who go around thinking that if someone picks and torments you then they have a crush on you. OP validates his daughter’s feelings. Her mother and stepdad seemed to be the ableist for putting their son in a situation which would trigger him. It’s as though they wanted to pretend that they are a happy normal family
She didn't have fun. How can she think of all the fun that she didn't have?
NAH. Mom wanted to do something fun for all her kids and she underestimated how her son could handle the situation. The daughter being upset was understandable. OP wanting to give her a redo without her brother is a good gesture. He never bad mouthed the boy. He just wants his daughter to have a fun experience and good memories of a vacation.
Last story: def a case if well sibling syndrome. I’m sick for these poor children always taking a backseat to autistic and adhd kids. First they’re ignored, then they’re parentified. The amount of gaslighting, reversing blame, and not getting their needs met, in favor of the difficult child is heartbreaking.
YES. How comes all these parents don't try to seek acocmodations from people that are NOT, let me see, hum, ha ha, THEIR OTHER CHILDREN? Places like these have assistance passes for guests with autism and other developmental disabilities (lmao seems like I'm advertising).
The boy's father should have taken him with a pass and the teen should've enjoyed better with her mom at least for a while, let's say half the time. Boy's father would've shared the parenting of the boy with the mother and teen would've still had some mom-daughter time, creating good memories with her mother and learning how to coexist in a blended family.
My brother isn't as effected by his ASD and ADHD, but I still had shadows of this. And I wasn't even a 'well child'. I discovered in my early 30's that I have ADHD too, not to mention the anxiety and other issues I had growing up. All I can say is, I'm glad my mother worked hard to keep me from being parentified, and put things in place so I'd never have to be in charge of my brother as an adult. There was still a lot of pressure to be the 'good kid', whether it was intended or not, though.
Autistic person here. I could only handle 5 hours of Disneyland tops before it was too much and needed to leave. One parent would go back to the hotel with me while the other stayed with my nerotypical sibling at the park. As I got older, I was allowed to stay in the hotel room by myself. I mostly napped. And the rest of my family got to enjoy Disneyland without me dragging down the mood.
This! And most of the time it’s mommy who “diagnosed” the brat loser kid! Most are Not Autistic.
Story 1: Not all lawyers are millionaires. Some struggle to make a living. Plumbers, on the other hand, not only make a good living, but some make a great living. More often in life you are going to need a plumber, electrician, heating technician or carpenter than a lawyer.
My brother is a lawyer and I was a street sweeper and during the corona crap he said we were more important than lawyers because we prevented more issues arose by keeping the streets clean when none could go anywhere. then again he has always been proud of me no matter what job I had lol
I honestly wonder how much public defenders make.. My county shares a public defenders office with 4 other countys.. There is a female public defender in that office that I swear looks like she shops from the donation store (St. Vincent De Paul).. I've seen her a few times and I always think "damn, this lawyer can't even afford to shop at Walmart"..
Story 1:
this hit me in the heart because i face the same thing in my own life.
my family always pushed for me to be a doctor or a lawyer or dentist, anything along the lines of 'successful careers". i did well in school (A's and B's) but i never wanted those things. i always loved computers, but i never liked sitting in a classroom.
a friend with a tech company hired me right out of school and the techs taught me everything they knew and eventually i was running the tech lab myself.
fast forward 10 years, Covid hit and the company had to downsize, including the redundancy of the tech lab. so i started a small business from home, mostly repairs, networking and troubleshooting for private homes and small businesses. work has been somewhat steady and i'm happy, but my family is always on my butt about me not going to college, harping on about other kids who i went to school with and how they are 'successful' as doctors and lawyers and whatnot. needless to say i get pissed off, but i keep it in......until they need help with a tech issue and they call me...... i used to do it for free, because usually it's minor issues and i can fix them in a few minutes, but now i send them an invoice for approval before i do any work (i usually get them to tell me the 'issue' and i draw up an invoice for consultancy as well as transportation fees for me having to drive over to their places and repair costs), then when the job is completed i have them sign a work manifest, i give them a copy and i keep a copy for my records, and i ask whether they will pay by cash, cheque, card, cashapp, etc. and i print the proper bill for the transaction..... needless to say they think i'm an AH for this, but i point out that doctors charge for a visit, lawyers charge for representation, the restaurant charge for their food and I charge for my services.
Good 👍
I like that last part.
Good on you for standing your ground!
'"Bbbbb,uuuuuutttttt wer'e fffffffaaaaaammmmmiiiiiiiilllllly, you should do it for love!". Lol. Love don't pay no bills.
The last plumber comment said all that to say nothing at all. OP SHOWED them by BILLING THEM. It's called EFF AROUND AND FIND OUT!!
Story 1, NTA. The "parents" are mad that they got a slap in the face that what op does is just as big and successful as their lawyer son. To try to push op's daughter to be "more successful" than her dad is disgusting. All op did was get back at them for trying to force HIS kid to go for something she doesn't want just to be successful aka have lots of money and showed them that op is just as successful as his brother which they have refused to acknowledge. Their horrible people and money isn't everything. I was taught by my parents to go for what we want and what makes us happy NOT for money. All it will do is make you miserable.
I'd not be surprised, if the parents are the type who brag about there successful child and since Op is "not successful" and does a "shameful job", they can't mention him or hate to do so. It would fit perfectly-
@@Shimonotoki exactly 💯. And now shown that op actually is successful, not in the way they thought or wanted, and their mad about it🤦.
And the commenter who argued that the parents were rescuing OPs daughter because vet techs witness people wanting to end their pets lives. Don’t they realize it’s the vet who puts the animals down and only do so when nothing else can be done to help the creature?
@@lorilancaster5917 I agree 💯. Usually an animal is put down when nothing else can be done. That commenter was clearly uneducated and doesn't know how it works with animals.
The parents are G0DD@MN @$$H0L3$ and if I was him I would not have even offered the "family discount" and made them pay FULL PRICE. Only a G0DD@MN $H1✝H0L3 has 2 successful children that are successful in DIFFERENT ways and keeps comparing them in an attempt to make one of them feel "superior" and the other feel "inferior" based on shallow bullcrap of which one earns more money or which one has more "prestige". Did they ever ONCE tell OP that they were proud of him?
I am surprised that they did not flat out tell his daughter not to become a loser like her father because that is what they were thinking I am sure.
Hell, I would have put them on the WAITING LIST and made them wait their turn. They should have been APPRECIATIVE that he pushed them to the front of his waiting list and gave them a discount.
Story 1: NTA, final comment is wrong. OP is not an AH for putting his foot down, his parents took him for granted so OP stopped letting them walk all over him, still gave them a discounted rate and offered to give them priority, and let them shop around and realize not only would paying a fair price be expensive but they would have to wait. We need to STOP normalizing family from thinking they can take advantage of other family member's talents and professions for 'free'. It's funny how often its only jobs and talents that are looked down on as less then (plumbers, bakers, artists, etc.) who usually are told their work is not worth their time to do it, yet are still demanded to do said work for free.
Obviously they know how much a plumber costs. That why they always called OP to do the work for free
@@kpeggs82 well now I get to laugh at their suffering through the consequences.
That’s because Reddit is so freaking bias, and often choose the project rather than listening to logic. And there’s such hypocrites all about preaching good morality. No, they don’t know anything about good morality and that last comment is an idiot.
It’s like one of those pushy vegans are Christians that try to push their beliefs on the people
No matter what there’s always gonna be idiots like this that think they know more
THIS! Who cares if they're family? Anyone that treats you with disrespect shouldn't expect respect on return. The parents got a reality check from OP, and a long time coming, and anyone who says that he went too far are doormats who would rather keep the peace than grow a spine.
It never gets old.
Lawyers are infinitely _less_ necessary to society than _any craftsperson_ .
Yet somehow _the professional liars_ are held in admiration while the people crucial to our civilisations continued existence is seen as 'less than'.
Boggles the mind.
I had an instructor who worked for NASA. They were standing next to the car with the hood up trying to find out what was wrong. The garage guy could fix it in a half hour. It is what you know and how to use the knowledge. Everyone is good at something.
Story 2: you threw up Nadal temper tantrum at the gender reveal party and put your wife away when you found out the baby was a girl. The only thing you didn't do wrong with just flat out tell your wife that you're not going to love the child because she's a girl. What did you think her reaction was going to be? It's fine if you wanted a boy but your reaction was ridiculous, and you need to get your priorities straight before your daughter is born.
ESH, both of them for having a gender reveal party. OP for being a disgusting misogynist AH. Ops wife for having a child with Op knowing the kind of person he is.
As I read that story, I kept thinking 'OP doesn't understand statistics'. No matter how long the string of boys is, the odds on the sex of the next one are 50:50 (unless they are practicing female infanticide.)
He never said he wouldn't love a girl. He knew his family history. His family is predisposed to having almost only sons. He had accepted that fact growing up. Hell my family is the same way we're about 80% female. We just accepted when we have kids they're mainly gonna be girls and the few out cropping of a baby boy. There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointed that the life you figured you'd have just get pulled out from under you. Yall are confusing disappointment in the life he fated himself to have and "hating girls" He's NOT disappointed its a girl. He's disappointed the life he thought he had to accept is not gonna happen. There's nothing wrong with that. Sure people can be disappointed in the gender of their kids and STILL love them. Not once did op said he WOULDN'T or DIDN'T love his child. yall need to get off what ever crack your smoking.
@@johnbradbury8610 How was he a misogynist? You throw that word around as if you know how to correctly use it...
@@aidendaniels4063 correct. It's so tiring listening to people spout the same old crap, and disregard the guys feelings instead of trying to be accepting and understanding of his disappointment, like you said, he's not necessarily upset about having a girl, just at not having a boy, and who's to say he won't end up doing all the "boy stuff" with her anyway? Why are people so quick to just disregard and belittle a man at the drop of a hat? Smh
If you are in any kind of "undesirable" service industry, God bless you and thank you for your service. You're worth your weight in gold. I *wish* I had the kind of skills that could get me a job as a plumber or sanitation worker instead of my useless liberal arts degree.
Don't underestimate liberal arts degrees it just takes the time to find your niche.
Story 1: no they disrespected you and your job and you show them exactly how valuable it actually was. This is why we don't bite the hand that feeds us, in your case your hand once payment for their services. Tell them exactly why you're charging them, and don't stop until they understand the real value in having the son like you. Also make them apologize to your daughter for disrespecting her career choice.
The last comment was dumb, it wasn't to teach a lesson. His child was facing the same hurtful treatment he did and decided that it was enough. He didn't use an emergency as a lesson that was just pure karma at its finest timing. Doesn't matter if he set a precedent in the past when it came to helping them everyone has their boundaries and their limits and they found his and trampled all over it.
So OP has his own business but he's asking reddit if he's the AH for charging his parents after they have been rude to him and his children? have some self-respect.
@@nicolezavala5745 especially when he had PAID work that he had to shelve to help his parents
@@nicolezavala5745 Exactly. The demands on his and every other plumber in the area was extraordinarily high due to the flooding. It was the perfect time to draw that boundary hard so that for once his parents would have to respect his time and skills.
@@eywine.7762 exactly 💯. They just don't like realizing that op is actually VERY successful just like their lawyer son. All because they feel like that op's field/his business is beneath them, it's stupid. Then to dare to treat his daughter the same way they treated him because they only care about money and status. I was raised that you go for what career you want and money shouldn't matter. Going for a career nothing but money rather than what your passionate about will only lead to misery.
Story 1: NTA. I would have added on “Oh, and you can’t talk to my children anymore. I don’t want their _Loser_ to rub off on you”. They don’t get to belittle your perfectly respectable profession and benefit.
Story 4: NTA. Yes purchases (especially big ones) can be a pretty important thing that the other parent needs to know about, but he is a legal adult and everything was taken care of by you. He sounds like a good kid so I doubt he is going to do something bad, and even if he does she can now give him adult consequences. It not exactly a 2 person decision anymore.
The YTA was probably some bitter ex-wife. OP bought a car for his adult son. End of story.
I suspect there is a reason the son chooses to live with his dad rather than his mother.
The ex should only be upset if she had planned to buy son a car which she didn’t. Otherwise she could’ve just given the son the money.
Wonder if this will be a continuing trend for her?
@@lorilancaster5917 Maybe she feels inadequate because she cannot afford to give her son as expensive a gift?
@@Zurroundwhich is a her problem
Well wait a damn minute… why didn’t the parents call the lawyer brother for help with the plumbing?? I’m sure he couldn’t have sued somebody 😂😂😂
He could’ve filed a class action lawsuit against God for causing the havoc
@04:00 It drives me crazy when people commenting on the stories don't understand or listen to the story/facts. OP said that he'd be over to help when he could because he was busy helping others and getting paid for that emergency work. Now the commenter is saying that OP is slapping his parents in the face and holding them hostage by throwing a plumbing fee at them. OP only gave them a simple choice of free plumbing services or jump the cue with paid emergency services. The lawyer brother was charging his fees the entire time.
First story : NTA OP. A good plumber can save more lives than the best surgeon. It's true. Water borne diseases kill thousands of people round the world annually. Be proud of your calling OP. You are every bit as worthy of your hire as your brother.
Story 1- it’s very funny but in life “ the lawyer” will need a plumber more then “ the plumber “ will need a lawyer. I am very sad that the parents don’t realize BOTH of their children are in very good career choices. Good job you silly parents. WAKE-UP
I've used a lawyer three times in the past thirty years, once to buy a house, once to make a will, and once to probate my late wife's will.* I'm on a first name basis with my plumber.
*Note to self: See lawyer about a new will.
@@peterhobson3262 maybe leave something to your plumber?
Unless it's a pretty bad/shonky plumber. Lol.
It seems strange that with the gender reveal "disappointment", nobody reminded the husband that the father determines the sex of the baby. Yet he pushed his wife away. Hmmm....Send him back to high school biology class.
I wonder if he is a distant relative of henry the 8th lol
Came looking for this exact reply...and 'thank you'.
Opie was so busy readying to be a "boy Dad" he...'forgot' to check as to *who* is 'in charge of *that* decision'.
Hint: Not the female... 📚
I cannot IMAGINE being disappointed at having a child who is a plumber. It's a good and necessary service that will always be in demand and (as far as I'm aware) pays well. I sincerely hope my children want good jobs such as that when they grow up. That being said, I do agree with some of the commenters worrying that veterinary school is uncommonly difficult, underpaying,, stressful, and heartbreaking.
in the last story. the girl needs a chance to have fun without having to deal with her brother's problems. disneyland might be way too much stimulation for an autistic child. too many children who have special needs siblings are denied a whole lot because of it. if they have a chance to enjoy something without their sibling ruining it, then go for it.
There were two adults, why couldn't they split up, one takes the daughter for her fun and the other finds a place more suitable for the son and later they switch. The daughter should not be more understanding of her brother's issues the parents should have made better arrangements.
@@velvety2006 that's pretty much what i was suggesting. the girl shouild have fun in her way and the boy should have fun his way. taking them anywhere exciting together will not work out.
Last story: That last comment is pretty funny "no one is seeing this through the ex's lens" nah man I am. Ex knows she has an autistic child she and her husband should know better than anyone what will trigger a meltdown. She should have been somewhat aware that Disneyland isn't the place to take him, or at the very least had plans in place to help soothe him/ have the father take the child some place quite to calm him. I know this is only one instance so it may be a stretch, but I really wouldn't be surprised if the ex is they type of parent who tries to force doing "normal" family things knowing full well her autistic child won't be able to handle it well.
Wow if my husband did that to me when I was pregnant it would absolutely be divorce. I couldn’t forgive that.
It sounds like you would be smart enough not to have a child with him in the first place. I find it hard to believe she didn't know how misogynistic OP and his family are.
@@johnbradbury8610 You’re 100 % correct. I wouldn’t put up with that nonsense.
#1 Tale of 2 friends. One went to a plumber's apprenticeship; the other went to college & then to law school. Fast forward 7 years. The plumber is an established businessman & a home owner. The lawyer has a 6 digit school debt, and is living with his parents. My cousin is a retired plumber; he made a better living than most MD's.
Last story: Nta the daughter didn't have a good time on the trip and couldn't enjoy herself, it's nice that op is winning to give her a redo.
14:20 Taking an autistic kid to Disneyland is probably a bad idea in general. I'm autistic and it sounds like pretty much my idea of Hell.
I’m ADHD and the lights at night over stimulated me. I loved the experience, but it was tantamount to being touched out without being touched..
YOU CANNOT LIVE IN A SOCIETY WITHOUT TRADES PEOPLE!!!! 😊
I am a plumber …I was told once we save more lives then doctors !!
And the job is more recession proof than a lawyer
Lack of sanitation is a large cause of death and illness in underdeveloped regions, so yeah I'd believe plumbers save more lives than doctors by preventing outbreaks of easily preventable yet dangerous diseases.
@@lwolfstar7618 Horray, cholera! And dysentery! I'm so glad we don't have to deal with things like that so much anymore due to modern plumbing.
😂
Story 2: Holy moly. This guy is an idiot. I get that he wanted a boy, and that's fine, but his reaction is very wrong. I for one would love to have a boy, but am equally fine with a girl. I have a list of both boy and girl names already made in my head for the day that happens.
I do expect I’ll have a daughter because my family is the same on my mom’s side. There are 10 grandchildren- 9 girls and 1 boy. It’s more likely I’ll have a girl but who knows. That’s it I have kids or that 20% chance of a boy happens.
I had 2 girls the wife and I both wanted a son....we got twin boys lol. There is nothing wrong with wanting a boy or girl but can't treat your spouse like crap because it doesn't go the way you want
Him shoving his wife away when she tried to hug him right after finding out the gender of their baby at the party is beyond the pail. This was a CELEBRATION that was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in all of their lives and instead of being happy and excited like she is he SHOVES HER AWAY WHEN SHE TRIES TO GIVE HIM AN EXCITED HUG??? I hope that @$$H0L3 is prepared for a DIVORCE and 18 years of child support payments and since he does not want to be the father I hope next time his ex wife marries a REAL MAN that the child can call DAD.
@@bettreon him shoving her away when she tried to give him a hug right when she was experiencing what was (or should have been) the happiest moment of both of their lives at a party meant to celebrate that happiness will have done PERMANENT damage to their relationship and if she does not divorce him they will have a crap show of a marriage. The entire family should have taken HER SIDE and angrily rebuked him. I would love a follow up to make sure that she got alimony and child support from him.
I understand whether it's the mom or dad having conflicting feelings when it comes the the baby's gender but that something you need to take to your therapist, best friend or close family member 1 on 1 to vent about. Your partner and/or spouse certainly doesn't want to hear about it especially after a gender reveal because it will come across as tacky, rude and sexist. There's a list of things that are better left unsaid or only to a counselor/therapist and this is certainly on the list.
I’ve been ripped off 2X by lawyers and ignored by a 3rd. My son wasn’t down for college and he’s a Pipe Fitter now. I’ve been a Registered Nurse for 25 years and my son is catching up to me after a few years 😊 The amount of money one makes does not mean contentment in a career. Everyone is different. We need all kinds of people doing all kinds of jobs. Being closed minded is not a career 😂
Someone needs to tell gender disappointment boy that gender is down to the man so he should kick himself in the balls if his disappointment with the job they did
I'm getting sick of posts that say "be the bigger person". No, be the petty person. The parents don't want to think your job is valuable then show them how valuable it is.
4:28 How does the OP know his son would want to do all of the things he wants to do? How does he know his daughter won't want to do them? What If he did have a son, would he do if he one day came out as gay, non-binary, transgender, et cetera?
(I believe you get the gender twice: once from the doctor telling you what parts to expect, and once from the kid when they're old enough to know and understand.)
Story 3: NTA. It sounds like all you did was show up. The fact that it just so happens to be once in a blue moon and everyone needs to catch up then isn’t your fault.
I noticed that she quoted, "Stop stealing the spotlight AGAIN."You always out do me."
Sounds like a Lisa/Bart situation, and there were constant situations where OP was the main focus. Even in situations where the brother should be the focus.
Sounds like a lot of resentment and anger towards OP, whom he views as the golden child.
And it was casual chit chat. Was everyone at the party expected to only talk to and about the couple?
it does not matter what the mother feels. the daughter's trip was ruined because of her brothers disability. i think its a good thing letting her have good experiences and not limiting her life because of her brother. I understand the brother having a hard time at Disneyland, i have had an Autistic meltdown their to so i sympathize but i think the reason is irrelevant. It is great he is doing something nice for the daughter. Side note i do think they should have looked into accommodations for the brother before going to Disneyland, might have made the trip better.
The YTAs are idiots. It's not OP's job to cater to his ex-wife's feelings. It's not like OP is taking her to vegas, or on a booze cruise.
That ESH comment sounded to me like "You should've told your daughter to suck it up because her brother (half-brother?) is more important!"
Her mother and stepdad took the two of them to Disneyland. Brother had multiple tantrums, ruining the trip for her. When her father says he'll take her so she can actually enjoy the trip, mom and stepdad get upset.
Sounds like mom and stepdad should be worried about daughter cutting contact in the next couple years. It's obvious who they give preferential treatment.
"Focus on the positives of the trip." What if there weren't many positives. What if the only positives were arrival and going home.
@@asmith8692 Some people on Reddit love to crap out parenting advice which basically comes down to “make the wronged child shut up because it’s a good lesson and caring and compassion”. Not everything in life has to be a lesson and so what if wanting to enjoy a day not ruined by a screaming child and dragged around by adults who don’t care for her is selfish? Are people not allowed to be a bit selfish just because someone else has autism? It’s not like the daughter is demanding they dump the brother on the side of the road and bolt.
@@asmith8692 who are you responding too? i did not say anything about focusing on the positives. please check that you commented under the right comment
S1: Huge NTA. Parents can shove their elitism. OP should have started charging them for his work long ago. They're never going to respect him or his work, so why should he cut them any breaks? Especially after harassing his daughter. From here on out, no discounts for them at all.
AND he moved them to the front of the waiting list. No more of that either. I posted above that I am wondering if they even ONCE congratulated him for being a successful plumber and told him that they were proud of him? I wish I could see a follow up to this story. I am wondering if they will make amends at some point? Maybe the LAWYER brother can keep giving them free legal advice to make the plumber look bad for charging them?
The comment that you used the emergency to teach them a lesson sounded like a criticism, but think about it, that was the best time to teach them a lesson. You were in the right.
Story 2: OP is the source of his gender problem
Son's car story : If OP had told his ex wife that he was buying a car for his son's graduation, how could he do it without seeming to boast to her or make her feel inadequate if she could not afford a gift of similar cost? This being a reality, why would he tell her if she would start complaining (as she did) and telling him what he could and could not do with his money in relation to his legally adult son? NTA
He has primary custody, so why are you assuming that she's a decent parent? Why are you assuming that she wouldn't try to talk OP in buying a cheaper car, that the son doesn't want? Why are you assuming that the ex wouldn't try and take all the credit for such a wonderful surprise?
All you've really done is heard "Woman" and then let "Women Are Wonderful Syndrome" do the thinking for you.
The only reason, why OP could/should have mentioned it to the ex, is in case EX wanted to buy a car for the son as well. Maybe she planed to, but couldn't afford such a nice car. But it's more likely she's just butthurt.
@@goawayleavemealone2880
Who are you talking to?
The fact that the son was saving up with the intention of buying said car, but he apparently didn't let his mother in on the plan, says a lot too.
@@deborahdicesare9042 - The person who started this thread... if that is not obvious, I don't know if you can be helped.
Though... I've re-read the comment and fresh eyes show, I'm an idiot.
Story 2: YTA, it is one thing to have a minor preference of gender, but your family history is irrelevant, as every-time a child is conceived it is 50/50. Being so disappointed that you "need to gather yourself" isn't anywhere near how an adult acts over such a minor thing.
would it still be YTA if it was the wife who is disapointed in the gender? since men arent allowed to be sad that they wont have a son
@@gisi5276yes. It’s his reaction to it, not the fact that he’s disappointedz
nt all the time, i mean if u have a family history of males in the family it can be a major possibity it could be a boy, hes allowed to be dissapointed cos he wanted a boy sucks he acted like a moron but did he once say at all he wasnt gnna love his child? no for all we know he had the shock he said sorry to his wife and how he wanted a boy and now hes thinking its a girl i should be a dad no matter what but since its a guy he has to be shit on no matter what cos reddit
@@bl4ckhearts802he's literally posting cause he doesn't want to apologize and he thinks he's right.
There's always some loser trying making excuses for these bums in the comments.
and for all we know he finally came to his sense and did, theres always some cum stain who thinks that guys are always the morons and women do no wrong and reddit is always wrong
Story 5: NTA, yes she had just went, but when she went she had to put up with her baby brother, and he ruined the experience.
Yep, same kind of situation as if they'd gone and a family member had gotten sick during it and was having issues that way.
As far as the Disney story, there's a difference between having autism and raising your child to be a spoiled brat. We don't know the full story, so we can't tell which it is in this case.
Story 2 - YTA. Your whole family sucks for creating this mindset that gender is a guaranteed thing and that not upholding the “tradition” of having a child of a specific gender would be the worst possible thing. I think I’d be filing for divorce if this happened to me, I’d be scared for my child to endure abuse from my spouse’s family as they grow up. But if I knew about this family mindset, I would have never married into this family in the first place.
Honestly it’s bizarre, I’m so used to hearing stories where the first boy/girl born into the family in generations was treated like the next coming of the messiah that hearing kinda the opposite is wild to me
@@3adgamd3r I haven’t heard of those ones as often, but I did read an article a little while back where the family was so excited for the first girl born in several generations. Some families make it seem so stressful to be a part of them like OP’s family, or that story where the OP’s MIL claimed she purposefully made the baby a girl and everything went to shit and last I heard they were divorcing/divorced.
@@fallingawayfromthenorm I think that has an update, but I can’t remember what it is I’m afraid (the story you referenced)
And I don’t get why the OP wouldn’t want a daughter? Like, I’d be psyched if I was the one who broke the tradition because it’d mean my daughter would have something super unique and interesting about her before she was even born
Idk sexism is weird
@@3adgamd3r It always makes me sad how common it is for people to put more value in the gender of their child than just the blessing having a child when you want to be a parent is. I was scared an old worker was going to resent her daughter because all she ever talked about was how much she wanted sons and how much she hated girls, and luckily it worked out where she adores her two daughters. But you never know which ones will actually come around and love their kids and which ones will always secretly resent the ones of whichever gender they don’t prefer.
@@fallingawayfromthenorm funnily enough I was actually the hypothetical boy child mentioned in the comments, my dad wanted a manly, extroverted boy, instead he got an autistic introvert, and I honestly don’t know if he ever even loved me
My point is that even if he had had a boy, the boy may never have turned out like he wanted
I could easily see my dad in OP
S1: plumbing is something we cannot live without. I give plumbers full respects for cleaning up people's crap. Also, the esh commenter is an idiot. OP made it reasonable, as a business owner, with his services (aka emergency fee). Labor is and should never be free.
must be someone who has a relative who is a plumber and got charged instead of doing it for free lol and op probably did try to talk to them but gave up you can't argue with stupid
@@velvety2006 the only other reason he made the fee was because his parents were trying to force his daughter into a career that makes money and success (since they think OP's job makes him a 'loser').
@@Love2Banime yea he probably would have kept the free of charge thing up if they did not hound his daughter
Engagement Pooper: NTA - You were conforming to social norms; your brother actually feels some kind of way about you. What does he think people talk about at parties with family they haven't seen in a while? I was recently at a family funeral. I assure you, there was FAR more talk about other topics than the deceased, including with and by the immediate family. Even the widow asked about my life, too.
Story 1, I love how a person in the position OP’s daughter wanted to be in explained how soul crushing the work can be, didn’t rationalize the parents’ favoritism and snobbery, just warning OP that his daughter may suffer a lot in the position, and Reddit took it as them siding with the parents.
Story 1: I'll bet that, taken side by side, the two brothers probably don't make that different in wages. Unless we're talking about a high-powered corporate law partner, lawyers are actually a fairly LOW paid profession vs. the amount of work they actually put into a case. It's not as glorious or prestigious a profession as people seem to think for a quarter million dollar education. All told, the plumber might actually have the better quality of life in the end.
The low paid ones are probably the better ones anyways. Have watched a few lawyers on here and there are some very nice people in law, those corporate ones that make all the money are parasites on society.
The gender story: YTA “gender disappointment”? 🙄 give me a break.
OP is a disappointment and his family are cavemen
i hate this gender parties i've seen so many parents and family throwing tantrums it's so dissapointing and a shame for the kid
it's not funny how these people behave and how many fight this bring
The gender reveal story: he’s like my father. As soon as he got a son from one of his old girlfriend’s he pretty much forgot about the 3 daughters he already had. So OP can either fix his look in life or he’s gonna be the first and biggest disappointment to his daughter.
As long as the baby is healthy, that is all that matters not the freaking sex
The "MAN"IS Always responsible for the sex of ANY CHILDREN. I Hope the Wife GETS A DIVORCE, from that idiot husband.
I knew a guy in a similar position. His family was all college graduates except for him. He became an electrician, served in the military and eventually owned his own contracting business. His siblings all have multiple graduate degrees, but have struggled financially and are frequently underemployed.
Story 2: YTA. Look, this is a surprise you need to process. I can respect that. But the fact that you we so sure and so ready to have a *Boy* is a problem. Things don’t always happen the way you want or expect and you need to be ready for that. Honestly having a girl is going to be the least of your worries as a parent.
What I don't understand is why OP didn't know the result as soon as his wife ( and party planners ) did. She surely knew his feelings, as he'd been referring to the baby as 'he' for the whole pregnancy. Sounds like she sprung a spiteful little surprise on him.
Some parents like being surprised along with the guests. It’s likely she just found out too.
The fact that his wife had a child with him shows this is one messed-up couple
@@AnimeMe40 I hadn't thought of that.
Story 1: Should have told them to call the lawyer to fix their plumbing.
Wow the OP who doesn’t know how biology works and was a AH at the gender reveal is the AH.
Edited to add, it’s not too late to Separate. I can’t imagine he will be a good father girl or boy.
But he is disappointed 🙄
He was prepared to be a boy dad. 🙄
Yea that reaction was extreme…pushed her away because he wanted a boy! My step family had a similar thing where for at least 3 generations it was all boys, then my stepbrothers first child was a girl, breaking the streak. You know what everyone did..celebrate.
Honestly I’m kinda glad he doesn’t understand how it works, guaranteed he would’ve kicked off and accused her of cheating if he did
Poor woman doesn’t deserve to be humiliated like that at her own baby’s gender reveal party
NTA. People of trade literally built the world
Definitely!!!!
Story 1, OP is not the ah. He's been putting up with them for years, and they felt they were entitled to his help because, y'know, trade job. The only reason he charged them was because he was busy and they kept pushing him anyway. They were in for quite a shock when they found out how much a plumber costs, not even thinking that they were taking OP away from paying customers to bow to their bidding. OP did the correct thing. A plumber might not be a glamorous job but what he did was just as important...as they found out...as the lawyer they were so proud of.
Story 2: This man pushed away his wife after finding out he's having a girl & went to Reddit for what? Sympathy? Of course his reaction is AH behavior. My dad wanted a boy & got me. When my younger brother was born he cried (he didn't cry when I was born) But he & I have a good relationship because I'm his kid!! My cousin wanted a boy, he got two girls & is the best girl dad ever. OP is the biggest AH, his wife has every reason to be mad. Who the hell reacts like this??
Story 1: Nta if they want emergency service then you have to pay for it, op parents learned a very valuable lesson that day.
Considering what parents paid for brothers college OP is a bargain.
Wow that first story hit close to home for me. My husband is the black sheep between his brothers. Both are lawyers hubby carpenter. His my brags about brothers but hubby the one that actually helps them out with turning apartment a.d.a ready for fil. It's gotten to the point we had to step back on what we do after fil family point out hubby is the useful son not the brothers.
My Son is a plumber and I am so proud of him. The schooling and hard work he has done. Go My Son.
Ummm, you can never go to Disneyland too much.
Story 2: Unless this idiot gets his head on straight and Fast it might be better for his wife to ditch him. Being a disappointment child with a father who doesn't want you will be way harder on that girl than living with a single mom.
My son is just 13 and does not due well will school. We have discussed his future and what he would like to do. I have encouraged him to go into a trade and see an apprenticeship and he agrees that would be the best venture for him. We will start looking at different trades to find what de would enjoy and do best at over the next few years. We jointly realize this is the best path for his future over going to college and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Does the boy dad know that he responsible for having the child? He needs to pick up a book and start reading.
The baby reveal: I’m so glad my dad wasn’t that type to be “ mad he wasn’t have a boy” . My dad was happy to have a daugher ,I Did do alot of boy stuff and I’m named after him, but when I wanted to do girly stuff he was there. He let me paint his nails, put make up on him and ect
Mine too and I'm also named after him!
I come from one of those small towns where everyone knows everyone. A couple of my friends, brothers, own their own businesses. One is an electrician and the other a plumber. They taught their sons as well. The boys are about 10 months apart in age. By the time they were 22/23 they BOTH owned their own homes on about 5 acres of land. They own their own cars outright, having paid cash. They have steady, recession proof careers, a good amount in savings, and are far better off than most of their friends who wend hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt for the "university experience."
A plumber is a very important job. Just as much is a lawyer is. Not everyone Hass to go to university and vet techs are a very important role to veterinarian they work off each other, parents and grandparents can worry and want the best for them but when they start pushing and pushing and not understanding the harm they’re doing they need to be put in their place are blocked forever.
NTA. They needed to pay so they could understand that you are a successful businessman and you needed to put your foot down. If they want to be rude and mean to you, than you don't owe them any plumbing help when they have any. They can't treat you like crap and still expect service.
I'd been reading a lot of Chinese webnovels in lately. And from ancient up to 1980's, scholars are always been looked up to and those in businesses (even if it a skill bases business) are considered in lower class (even if the businessmen are richer than the emperor itself)
Anyway, the 1st story kinda reminded me of the webnovels I'd been reading lately
Many years ago when I was a midwife a lovely couple had their 3rd girl. Whilst having an idle chat with her, l mentioned the baby ' s gender and asked if her husband was disappointed. For medical reasons she couldn't have another baby. She uttered the immortal words ' my husband says only real men father girls '
Last Story: the last place OP's step-brother should have been taken is Disneyland. It was bound to trigger him. It looks like OP's Ex is a rubbish mother if she could not work that out. And you can buy priority tickets in Disneyland that avoid the queues.
Last Stort: …really? The daughter had a terrible time on the trip she was looking forward to because the entire trip was focused on her son. The daughter acted SOOOO maturely here, didnt complain at all, just vented to her Dad and he wanted to make it up to her.
NTA Op you sound like a good dad.
Story 1- The problem is that no one appreciates things when they are "free". Look at what happened to U2 when they gave out a free album. OP should have done what his brother did and charge his parents from the start.
1: Not only do they insult OP but they do it in front of his daughter. The next time the parents need help they can call their golden child.
2: If the reveal was being filmed, the future daughter WILL eventually see her father’s reaction and be very hurt by it. How is he going to explain to her his blatantly angry and disappointed response to hearing about her?
3: I wouldn’t even bother attending any future family events. Wouldn’t want to take attention away from King Mike the center of the universe.
4: The son is 18, OP is no longer required to tell his ex anything regarding him. Their co-parenting relationship is over.
5: Why should the daughter have to deal with ruined vacations and miss out on fun experiences? It’s not the stepbrother’s fault but it’s not her fault either. As long as it’s not being rubbed in his face that she went on the trip again, who cares?
Same happened to me: my mother pushed me into universitie to study teaching (even though she hated teaching herself 😅). I finished it successfully and now I am working as an assistant for a child during school hours. I earn half of what a childcare worker would earn. I would have worked for 20 years now 😅. It took me that long to free myself of my mother 😢 and find my passion. And I love my work.
Many plumbers here in Australia drive high end cars and live in really nice suburbs. Tradies are getting paid more these days because they work hard and are needed by every member of society. Cheers to the tradies!
Story 1: The world needs more plumbers than lawyers. And there are a hell of a lot of law school graduates who are still paying off their student loans 10 years after they graduate. Plumbers start making money at the beginning of their apprenticeship.
Just remember what Shakespeare said about lawyers in Henry VI, Part 2, Act IV, Scene 2
With the car story;
“OP [as a man] has primary custody of their child”
All I needed to know to know he wasn’t in the wrong, even if he wasn’t 18
I've met this boy family mindset before. I *very* delicately had to point out his mother and grandmothers were in fact girls, so girls do so too run in his family
Yes, but when you're talking about a specific side of the family there's a big difference between being born in and marrying in to a family.
I agree with the commenter. I would decline the invitation to the wedding. I wouldn't want to "upstage" the wedding.
About the mother being upset that her ex bought the son a car... One of a narcissists pet peeves is when someone close to them is rewarded in some way or is given something. They just have to ruin the experience, break it, throw a fit, insult it or make sure it doesn't happen. My husband did this all the time. Narcissists can't be happy for you for any reason. Don't forget #1 It doesn't matter why and #2 they...will...never...change.
Watch "boy dad's" kid turn out to be a transman and he rejects his son a second time.
OP1: NTA. They're the jerks, not you.
My bro in law is a journeyman plumber. Everyone always takes advantage of him without appreciation. As soon as he started charging for constant help, everyone disappeared.
Final story: I went to Disney World with my family including adult Autistic nephew. My sister arranged fast passes where she could so, we were not waiting in too many lines. She also knew when he needed to step away. If there was another adult on the trip, they have taken her on rides or dealt with the brother and not spoiled her fun. Mom should have planned the trip better. Dad absolutely should retake his Daughter.
Disneyland Story ex-wife can kick rocks. She didn't consider the needs of the Autistic child and people who say they could have bought special passes aren't living in reality. Those passes can be hugely expensive. Personally I wouldn't take my autistic child to Disney specifically because overstimulation is often underestimated. Parents sometimes misjudge the amount of stimulus the child can handle especially in a theme park.
Disneyland story: “think about all the fun she had on the trip”. What fun? She spent days around someone who, not deliberately, was melting down because he was out in a situation he couldn’t cope with.
Just because one child is disadvantaged , doesn’t mean the other child is without feelings. I get that the ex is probably frustrated and exhausted, but she really doesn’t seem to care about the daughter’s feelings.
Nope.
You left & thus
You acted honorably...
Story 3: man your brother sounds pathetic, all you did was answer people's question because they haven't seen you in a while. You shouldn't slow down because your brother feels inferior, you to do not control each other's lives. After what he said I would feel completely unwanted and leave to.
I don't know about this one. He talks in a verry demeaning way about his brother the trouble maker.. i think OP was the goldenchild and brother was the scapegoat.
His i only gave answheres doesn't sit good with me either. So his brother asks him to tone down his bragging about his job. And golden boy acts like a dramaqueen walks out. Can't stand it not to be in the spotlight once. Then to top it of he tattle tail it to mummy.. brother is not the pathetic one, OP is.
ANY party even if it is primarily meant to celebrate the accomplishment of a single person is about people being affectionate and sociable towards each other and having conversations. Even when someone is the CENTER of attention it does not mean that they get ALL of the attention. There is a difference between a successful person's accomplishments coming to light organically as part of a conversation, especially when its a direct answer to a question from someone else, than a person galavanting around showing off and trying to dominate an event. The fact that his brother cannot tell the difference between those 2 distinctions means the he might be socially impaired in some way and be immature or have a cognitive disorder. His fiancee should break things off because being married to a G0DD@MN @$$H0L3 like him would be a nightmare.
There was a VERY similar story told by the opposite side recently. They were the guest of they party, their golden child sibling showed up and ended up being the focus of the party with conversations were solely around their work/travel/life and some of the party plans ended up not going off. When confronted as the golden child they made a scene and left. Funny that in the perspective of that story people found the sibling that walked out to be the AH. This guy is going on about what a deadbeat and troublemaker the sibling was compared to himself being so perfect ... Sounds a lot like the golden child finally didn't get spoiled and had to face that they can't always be the center of attention & couldn't handle it.
@@paulinadeboer3604 or just maybe right maybe the bro was a trouble maker? and just doesnt like the fact that people ask op the questions? like wtf is he ment to do ignore people at the party? is it bragging when people literally ask u what you do ? looks more like the brother was just pissed that he fucked around more and his life isnt going as big as he wanted
@@paulinadeboer3604 if OP truly was the golden child the parents wouldn't have immediately raged at him for leaving and would have been too busy raging at the brother. This is simply a case of someone who, as a commenter pointed out hasn't matured since his teen years, seeing this as a competition.
The plumber rids us of poop, the lawyer just slings it.
Charge what your worth my dude, they did wish you were more successful 🤷♂️
Car story: NAH. OP and his ex-wife were together for probably 10+ years. They have a kid together. OP and his ex have only been divorced for a couple of years. Now OP is remarried to a much younger wife, and they're about to have multiple kids together. This situation isn't about a car at all. She's not handling her divorce well. She's probably struggling. She can't handle how the person she thought she would be with forever would move on so quickly. OP also doesn't mention if there was an affair. If he married his AP, that would make the ex's reaction even more understandable. On the surface, OP's ex seems like the AH, but this story seems complicated.
Even so, none of that holds any relevance in this situation. The son was already planning to save for the car, why he didn't inform his own mother of his intentions, could be the question that should be answered.
Have you ever bent over backwards to show your parents you deserve to be respectfed?
Being a lawyer is great till you have to use the bathroom. And it’s plugged up.
Most people that hold a law degree never set foot in a court room, they write/review contracts, corporate policy, etc. They better get good at working with AI real fast or will find themselves redundant in the very near future.
Next step will be your parents convincing you that she cheated because "our" family only has boys... and you will go along with it. YTA