On Jealousy, Managing Expectations and Overcoming Insecurities

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 34

  • @m.kpoint8552
    @m.kpoint8552 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just started my Kizomba journey few Weeks ago... It is my first dancing class ever and I knew NOTHING about Kizomba. After I realized how close the connection is, the body contact, one of my first thoughts was even jealousy... I'm so thankfull for this video, it shows us that we feel like many others :) Thank you!

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      great, great! :)

  • @pingpong4811
    @pingpong4811 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    If someone has a problem with "groth mindset": it is easier if the person giving feedback stays withing their own barriers: start sentences like "I feel like this..." or "for me it felt like..." - Think like this: you are fobidden to use "you" in any sentence! It is hard, but it keeps you from expressing accusations (which are not helpful, ever!). And you express to your partner how you felt versus how you blame the other person how he/she MADE you feel - again, this is not possible as the other person does not have that control over your feelings - unless it is an obvious insult, which is different, tho and done willingly.
    But this is just about social dancing? I have found that with routine and competition training (swing dances) I would never again have my girlfriend be my dance partner. I strictly stay with my trainings partner - best synergy I have found for comps - but I dont mind training with my girlfriend. However, I do need my girlfriend to accept my training partner and the competition trainging, just like I respect her sports with friends. There it was really tough when training for comps multiple times in the week just a few weeks before the competition: "You spent so much time with her and not me!". Yes, but I still spent all my weekend with you and this is temporarily just because the competition is in 3 weeks. Very hard to get this balanced.
    Loving means trusting, but to build trust you need to talk about ANYTHING (no taboo!!). And dont express it as an insult/accusation, but always talk about how you feel. Helped me a lot.

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      thank you for sharing!!

  • @grafartist
    @grafartist 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hey Dainis!! I'm in America and I've only been dancing kiz for 2.5 months now and your beginner tip videos are really helpful. I'm currently single, so I don't have any experience with this topic but I'm glad you made this video so I can use it for future reference. Glad to see that you're back!! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing!!

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      ouh - congratulations to you for discovering kizomba then!! :) it's an awesome world and hope you get to fall in love with it as well! Thank you - and yeah..definitely come back to these tips when relationships are starting out. Because it is tough to keep dancing and be in relationships. It's tough and rewarding if you make it work!! :) Best of luck to you, grafartist!

  • @sergiutelbisz1955
    @sergiutelbisz1955 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hey Dainis! Good to see you again YAY!!
    And a most warm welcome to Anastazja, you are so charming.
    I really like the format. It`s interesting to hear both dancers point of view.
    I'm not currently in a relationship so I cannot directly relate to these experiences (yet) but I frequently asked myself how will I handle them, especialy if for example your partner is not a kizomba dancer. Of course open and sincere comunication is vital and I am a strong advocate to open dialog in every situation life throws at you.
    Yet, being single and a kizomba dancer brings its own difficulties regarding those three topics. For example:
    1. I like a certain girl and I am really interested in getting to know her, yet there are more experienced dancers that dance with her and at some point you feel at a disadvantage and you get jealous at them and insecure about yourself. I experienced this last saturday at a party, and I felt rather dissapointed and somehow more willing to better myself at the dance. I know that connection is more important than the moves but still, it can hit you pretty hard sometimes. (maybe a future topic on this? It would be interesting to hear Anastazja`s and your point of view).
    2. You expect to have a great dance with somebody but things just do not work. And with other partners where there is no expectation whatsoever the dance flows so nicely. Sometimes I wonder if having expectations actually hinders your dancing connection and skill. Maybe a more relaxed and go with the flow mentality is better.
    Anyways, I discovered that just being as relaxed as possible, friendly and open can make your dance experience with different partners more enjoyable for both parties. It`s not always that easy but as you said, it is a work in progress.
    And I can relate with the fact that dancing with a single partner for a long period of time during a party can make the experience at one point dull. I usually try to dance with as many girls as possible during a party just because it`s such a different experience everytime. Who knows how this may change when I do get in a relationship.
    Thank you for the video! You both are beautiful and I do hope we see more of you two.
    OnKizomba is back :D

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Sergiu! Thank you so much for the warm welcome xoxo! :)
      Yeah, when creating the topic i thought what if not many people actually are not in relationships while dancing kizomba..? But then also thought that eventually you'll also find someone.. :) matter of time.
      Damn, love the angle you highlight..! That would make a great conversation too..
      1.-2. I totally have experienced this especially with teachers I would like to dance, obviously even if we dance, I try too hard and it's just alright.. Too high expectations for sure can ruin the dances..
      1. about this one, actually this is a great topic as Anastazja has shared a lot about what she really loves..and it's been a great learning experience. We, guys - think its about the moves, when reality is musicality.. letting her to speak..listening to her vibes too..definitely a great topic.. Have been challenged on this a lot and still am, like you Sergiu!
      Also you never know what girl had experienced before..or what she expects..so even if you do all things right, offer a great dance, she might still not be happy for some reason, because you know..women.. :D
      And I really appreciate you opening up Sergiu and sharing your perspective!! This is what we were hoping for when creating the video..!!!
      P.S. Onkizomba is back, but the frequency of posts will be far less, right now planning 1 video every two weeks. The main project now is taking time and it will be the business, so just working on Onkizomba on free time..as it is love/passion project..
      ...and cannot let go of connecting with you here...

    • @TheBubonka
      @TheBubonka 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@OnKizomba I'm new to Kizomba, so my experience is probably very limited but I agree with Anastasia 100% for me, to it's not about the moves so much but the connection and musicality.
      Thank you for all your videos and tips! I'm so grateful I found your channel!!!

  • @yogavidasaludable
    @yogavidasaludable 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Dainis and Anastadzja! This is such an interesting conversation and reflections!

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      thank you :) what did you take away? your thoughts?

  • @bellam6545
    @bellam6545 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi Dainis👋👋 just found your channel today. It’s very helpful everything you share but I want to ask if you’re still dancing. I think your last video was two years ago? Would like to know more about your experiences😎👟👟🙌🙌

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I do now. had a long break, Bella :)

  • @pascalremy1
    @pascalremy1 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Dainis, it' s à real serious subject

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      ouh yeah - a good challenge though! :)

  • @Brokenxable
    @Brokenxable 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great how you talk about this subject when me and my boyfriend were struggling with this a lot. You two made me watch some situations differently, thank you for that!
    You guys seem like a strong couple, please stay cute together 😁

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Brokenxable aww, thank you! Well, i feel sad that we didnt tell enough stories of those situations, because its been really challenging! We will do better next time... but oh well!
      -
      Can you share your experiences and struggles? What were the biggest challenged you faced?

    • @anastazja.s.insight
      @anastazja.s.insight 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you for such words!!
      I will make sure we stay cute :P

  • @sabineschnnemannlaulund6330
    @sabineschnnemannlaulund6330 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great to see you guys are back! Loved following your blogs before and cant wait to see what you will come up with next :D
    Will we get a chance to dance again at Kizz Me More this year? :)

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sabine Schønnemann Laulund woah!!! Its been ages!! Yeay - will see you at Kizz Me More! AWESOMEEEE!
      -
      Hah, i will make sure not to disappoint!:) and you can always suggest some things to talk about? Like discuss something from dancing world thats not talked about??:)

  • @charlineg.4203
    @charlineg.4203 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much guys for dealing with that issue (insecurity and especially jealousy)! Jealousy is more common that we think (more that I thought when I started to go at the dance parties). I had to face it from another girl whereas I was the girlfriend... o_O This was a communication and clarity problem -_- But it is not always easy to date a dancer. Keep going, your videos are great 👍

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ouf, yes..that's another angle.. :) heh, when I invite to ask to dance someones girlfriend I always try to ask boyfriend the permission.. It's a nice way even if he says I dont need to ask for permission :)
      Woah...its crazy to have jealousy from other girl, when you are actual girlfriend.. :) Well, that's the kizomba life..it's raw and real.. :)
      P.S. Hope Anastazja will jump on this one too :) #girlstalk

  • @OnKizomba
    @OnKizomba  6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Really curious to hear how you enjoyed the video.. and most importantly - COULD YOU RELATE?
    What's your story?

    • @EvansMusomi
      @EvansMusomi 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      I loved the content and the format - with dance teasers. Thanks for sharing.
      I could relate with all 3 topics mentioned so well, only that for us the dances were Bachata and Salsa mostly. For years, my wife and I experienced all these emotions back when we were dating. We met on the dance floor as well.
      After many heart to heart conversations, getting deeper clarity on our bigger relationship + dance picture, learning more about our personal triggers, and agreeing on principles to go by we were able to get to a good space.
      All the recommendations you gave in the video made sense. We often have the first few dances when we go out and agreed that the reason we go out dancing is to social dance (with other people too). All the same, I've come to appreciate that social dancing with a life partner brings along unique aspects.
      It was amazing for me to hear another dance couple share a story so similar to the one I faced. Keep loving, keep dancing!

  • @morantaf4904
    @morantaf4904 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hey my friend ! It's good to see you.
    Nice video and good tips. Good to see Ms onkizomba talking in front of the camera too.
    Welcome back :)

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Moranta F hehey!! Long time! Yeah Ms Onkizomba offers great insights from ladies side I could NEVER guess ( women are mysterious sometimes).
      -
      What did you think of this format? Topic? Any future suggestions how to improve or what to talk about?:)

  • @michelleundtonyequestrian
    @michelleundtonyequestrian 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Cool Videos, thanks you so much! But could you try to make your channel or some Videos (men, women, both) in german?! Thanks in advance

  • @outbreak3363
    @outbreak3363 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Неу! Why do u stop posting you video?((

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      life. and priorities. But i am back. Though cannot promise heavily edited videos of insights. more of quick tid-bits here and there :)

  • @MIRacle-qb9hv
    @MIRacle-qb9hv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    looks like kizomba is over. Due to relationships?

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      no, it was the fact that I started working on other business to make living with. And then COVID. And now back some...but relationship has ended unfortunately just now. Didnt survive COVID 24/7 together...

  • @margaritasolomennikova6229
    @margaritasolomennikova6229 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hey ! Could you please tell where are the good places to learn kizomba in Riga? I visit Latvia soon and would like to come to the class :)

    • @OnKizomba
      @OnKizomba  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      i teach now in Latvia ;)

  • @ЛеонардоДаВинчи-с5ю
    @ЛеонардоДаВинчи-с5ю 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Не всё сказано