WE HAVE CRUSADE AT HOME! : THE GREAT CRUSADE [3] | Beginner to Expert Podcast
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ธ.ค. 2024
- Today on the Beginner to Expert Podcast the Lorecrimes team return to discuss part 3 of the Great Crusade!
With Andy (@TheRemembrancer) & Colin (@pancreasnowork9939) explaining the deeds of the Astartes White Scars, Space Wolves and Imperial Fists during the expanse of the Imperium!
#imperium #warhammer40k #warhammer #warhammer40k #40k
EDITED BY: Andy (@TheRemembrancer)
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Welcome to Lorecrimes! The collaboration channel of:
@The Amber King
/ theamberking
@Deadlifts for the Dark Gods
/ deadliftsforthedarkgods
@PancreasNoWork
/ @pancreasnowork9939
@The Remembrancer
/ theremembrancer
The home of the Beginner - Expert Podcast, 40k Pub Quiz and other content!
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![SHATTERED LEGIONS : GREAT CRUSADE [4] - ICEBERG EFFECT | LoreCrimes Podcast](/img/n.gif)
#LostPrimarch
It's Colin, but big E threw him out because his pancreas no work.
#LostPrimarch was named Waldo and he was censured because both the Emperor and Malcador got tired of looking for him.
#LostPrimarch Unbeknownst to them all, the Lost Primarch was Popeye, and he truly was the strongest Primarch of them all. So powerful was he that he could even deadlift Titans with ease... Unfortunately, he was censured, for he nearly wiped out the entire Terran reserves of spinach, forever sequestered into the Vaults of Terra for the time when he would be needed..
Technically ALL the primarchs were lost and had to be re-found
...Listen here you little s-
@@lorecrimesoof
Alpharius wasn't lost
The #LostPrimarch was Ferrus Manus because there ain’t no way some bum named Iron Hands, who had iron hands, leader of the Iron Hands, whose ship is THE FIST OF IRON, is actually canon.
#LostPrimarch
One of the lost Primarch’s names was PerTWOabo, commander of the Iron-er Warriors. He was censured to save the minds of the people from knowing that’s there’s two of the fuckers out there in the galaxy.
#LostPrimarch Sigmar is actually one of the Lost Primarchs who when ascending to God head looked upon the Emperor and decided to beat him at being a better protector of his setting (praise Sigmar) then the big E himself . The Emperor; so enraged by one of his Sons doing this contacted James and his Workshop, forcing AoS to happen and that Sigmar recieved the Stormcast Eternals to be nothing more then shittier Space Marines who have to respawn because they lose so much; to constantly remind Sigmar that he is still the Big Daddy of Warhammer and he can protect his realms unlike R (he lost the Sigma when he lost to Archaeon).
The Imperial fists split into the insane crusading ones, the boring defense ones, and the nice ones.
and the Executioners, but nobody gives a shit about them 😢
First premier I've shown up to for lorecrimes glad its a timeline one.
#LostPrimarch
Lost Primarch Sexus Hereticus, censored for being the first Primarch to fall to the dark ruinous powers of chasing Eldar Waifu. Some say his legion was split between the Ultramarines and Whitescars, where they taught Guilliman and The Khan about the ways of BTTY Eldar woman.
Some say he was lost in the webway, others that he now lives in the Black Library, hoarding his ancient pre-fall Eldar artwork and fan fictions
The true #LostPrimarch is Nicolas Cage, and he was censured for having been the most charismatic and therefore most dangerous individual in the galaxy.
"MMM get ahold of yourself manling!" *CLANG* "W-wuh? Gotrek?"
#LostPrimarch The lost primarch is Karl Franz due to his emaculate jaw line and voice “Summon the elector counts”
#LostPrimarch Billius mayus, like his brothers curze and sanguinius, mayus had visions of the future, he saw a tide of flesh, sharpened biomass, and worlds falling to the worshipers of these creatures. When he confessed the visions to the emperor the emperor was unimpressed and didn't understand the scale mayus was talking about, the only remembered quote now long butchered , in his last attempt to convince the emperor that the tyranids were truly endless he told him "but wait, there's more" he was executed by the emperor due to the emperor's fear that mayus had fallen to madness
#LostPrimarch. The lost primarchs name was Melvin and he was censured for being named Melvin and no other reason.
the warrior lodges in the word bearers and the sons of horus seemed exactly like how the entire white scars was run just without a sect inside a sect.
The #LostPrimarch was Cave Johnson. Despite his mastery of the warp and great command over machine spirits, the Emperor could not overlook his frequent bankrupting of entire Imperial sectors.
#LostPrimarch
The 11th primarchs name is Craig. He was purged for attending the Denny’s grand slam and not inviting the emperor.
With all the pain stuff I find it surprising more Imperial Fists don't fall to Slaanesh.
The #LostPrimarh is Alexius Jonus after being lost in the warp, he was sent back to the savage second millennium struggling to teach people the truth about the DMT machine elves, and the men of iron.
#LostPrimarch The 2nd primarch was called Pantus Soilus, leader of The Pants Soilers legion. He was condemned for still unknown reasons
Of these three the White Scars are hands down my favorite although the Imperial Fists are cool as well.
Both the 2nd and 11th #LostPrimarch are all NPC TikTok livestreamers. The primarchs had their souls shattered and scattered across the warp, dooming them to an eternal loop of "ice cream so good, gang gang, rrrrrrrrrrrr." Truly, a fate worse than death.
#LostPrimarch The 2nd Primarch was actually Philip Swift, the reason he was erased from imperial record is that he had a plan to close the eye of terror using flex seal, all you need is a bit of flex tape and the galaxy's balding problem will be solved easy, and it can bring ferrus back too
#LostPrimarch Was actually Eli, but he was immediately Tainted by the Genestealers and had to be purged for his heresy and desire for the four armed Emperor.
Iron Warriors and the Night Lords are the 2 best Traitor Legions so confusing them is understandable
#LostPrimarch were called Alan and Steve and were removed from imperial record because imagine how embarrassing it would be for the Emperor's perfectly crafted sons to have entirely unthematic, normal names and work in IT and Accounting respectively.
The #lostprimarch was called Bumblesmut and he was erased because even the emperor realised they would fall to Slaanesh from that name
Simply because you mentioned it, Im now going to make my Fist's OC named Chris.
Captain Chris, of the Imperial Fists, though his group will be the Imperial Chris.
For the Imperial Fists I like to imagine their boarding experts left and became the Soul Drinkers, duellists became the Black Templars and many of their regulars good at anti-tank/anti-horde became the Crimson Fists, leaving only the siege experts and regulars.
They were noted as having many good duelists and good void experts so them splitting to specialise is how I headcanon them not still being shown like that most of the time
#lostPrimarch was named, drumroll please…
Have you heard of the high elves?
#LostPrimarch Nekona, Primarch(ess) of the 12th Legion, the Space Maids. Nekona was censured by her father the Emperor for having turned out to have been a girl, a fact he was not made aware of until they had first met long after she had been discovered by The Lion. It turned out that Malcador had indeed fucked with one of the pods just to see what happened. While her being a female would have been enough reason by itself for Big E to have wiped the records of her and ordered her death, she had also taken her Legion under her wing to be focused on Disaster Relief, Diplomatic Relations via the establishment of her Cat Cafe Franchise across the galaxy, and combat against xeno societies as a last resort unless there was good cause (like the Dark Eldar being a bunch of assholes, #1 on her burning list those pirates).
#LostPrimarch was named Smalpharius, he was censured for just being Alpharius with a fake moustache and his brothers got tired of playing along with his shit...the second lost primarch was likewise named Fomegone but surprisingly everyone liked him better then Alpharius ...or did they?
#lostprimarch One of the lost Primarchs name is Wally, and he is cursed by Chaos in that as soon as he’s found he’s whisked away to a different dark corner of the galaxy
#LostPrimarch was named Colin and he was censured for radical ideas like “Eldar GFs” and “Xenos Sympathy”
#LostPrimarch His name is Sheldon, and he got expunged because the Emperor got supremely anooyed he kept pointing out that in Roman numerals the number 2 is written as II, which looks like 11. That's why the other Legion was expunged as well: cringe by association.
#LostPrimarch one of the lost primarchs is the door that Thorgrim forgot to close. He was censured because he killed the other lost primarch in an equally braindead way as Thorgrim, who in turn was censured to spare him the embarrassment
Amazing episode guys! Well done
(SPOILERS FOR THE END AND THE DEATH VOL. 1)
It’s actually revealed what happens to one of the lost primarchs. Sanguinius at one point has a Epiphany about the human race and the emperor’s plan for them and asks him vary candidly about his lost brothers. The emperor says he’ll only tell him about one of them so sanguinius asks what happened to the 2nd. The emperor tells him that he was actually a failed clone “but every tool has its use no matter how warped or bent” so he still sent him out. He had no primarch aura so his legion had trouble bonding to him. The second actually came to the emperor and very plainly asked for his and his brothers memories to be erased of his existence and his legion dissolved. Sanguinius shocked to hear this, asked what crime he committed that would warrant such a punishment.
The emperor said all he ever did was disappoint and fail in his duty’s as a primarch. Apparently he was so bad the others would call him “ A bad one” and “The soiler” because everything he touched turn to shit. Didn’t say what happened to him but I hope they bring him back to 40k sounds like he has some real potential to be a good character #lostprimarch
Pantus Soilus of the number 2 legion.
Are we sure The Lamenters are Sangunius's?
#LostPrimarch The one with the greatest potential out of all his brothers, John Souls was blessed with both unparalleled prowess and psychic resistance, but his rise to greatness was not to be, for by beating the emperor in the most important of battlegrounds (Dark Souls 2 PvP) he sealed his fate, as Neoth would not let any of his sons best him in the most perfectly balanced game of all time
Nico Nico Neoth
WTF I missed this live! Why did you change the time? And why didn't TH-cam send me a notification?
P.S. SEMPAI NOTICED ME!!!1!
P.P.S. #LostPrimarch The lost Primarch is Malekith and he was censored for being The True Phoenix King Of The Asuri.
#LostPrimach Larry he wasn't actually censured from Imperial Records, he was just even more forgettable than Ferrus Manus.
The #LostPrimarch is Sly Marbo, 'nough said
luv me guard
'ate spess mahreens
Part 4 soon plz!
The #LostPrimarch in command of the 2nd legion was Sephiroth the Hedgehog censured for his inclusion of alien (saiyan) DNA and as it would also turn out being the secret only female primarch. Now the secret cloned sister of vegeta wages a one hog war against the remnents of the rangdan who have renamed themselves to the name of Frieza and fused with the forgotten chaos god Malice to become the frost demon race. May the emperor protect they/them.
What
@@Scowleasy it's a fanfiction OC parody
#LostPrimarch He was so creative that he conquered his world with the money generated by the amazing tabletop "Warhammer 50k". The Emperor, scared of a lawsuit that could cost him his entire gold stockpile, shoved his son in the basement. Never to be spoken of again. Though the High Lords, to this day, dont understand why the Custodes order this much plastic and paint.
#Lost Primarch was named Donny O’Hallam MacScottsIrish and he was censored from imperial history for repeatedly calling the Custodes Janitors
#LostPrimarch His name was Pancreas and he got erased from history because he found a STC that could create Vtubers and he tried to replace his Space marine Legion with a Vtuber army.
Always love em
#LostPrimarch The 2nd lost primarch is really Dwayne "THE ROCK" Johnson, and he was censured because he went back in time to old ancient Terra and made fast and furious movies for 40,000 years straight. Angering the emperor with with hundreds of thousands of movies in every category featuring cars...
And the 11th primarch was Eli, we don't really know why he was erased from history, but some say that the emperor was jealous of his massive gains and he actually could deadlift more than him, it even took all 18 legions plus their primarchs and the emperor to bring down Eli in the very first united imperial crusade ever, know as "The Swole-sade."
The Lost Primarch was named me at 8 years old. He was lost in target because the emperor didn't hear them call him over the intercom. My favorite part was when he losted all over the setting.
P.S. Malcador won't talk about this.
#LostPrimarch his name is Randy, and he was erased for keeping his sisters of battle miniatures in a special jar.
Dropped a like while it was live and thought I’d swing back around for a comment. Love your videos guys, keep having fun.
The #LostPrimarch was Bophades, and he was erased from history because Malcador had no sense of humour
#LostPrimarch. His name was Sigmar, and he was kicked out because Emps was jealous that he was doing a better job at dealing with chaos
#LostPrimarch
Collin was the lost primarch. He was censured for stealing one the Emperor's Eldar gfs
#LostPrimarch
Dont know what a primarch is but I'm actually lost, hoping the helpful comments can guide me. I heard that this was a channel for Brettonia only fans but i might be wrong.
#LostPrimarch Sigmar, because the comet that brought Sigmar to Fantasy was his gestation pod and that him going off to become a god was how the Empire rationalized him going off with Big E and I will die on this hill
The Fists would prob be among my fav chapters, if they werent goddam YELLOW and Dorn wasnt MIA
#LostPrimarch
Gordon Ramsay, The Emperor really had to hide the fact that Sanguinius drained his blood for serving him a well done steak
#lostprimarchs
Was Michael jackson of the 11 Legion, big E had to Eradicate him cuz he couldn't out dance or sing against him.
#LostPrimarch was Mr. Bean and he was censured because GW couldn’t avoid the copyright claims
thanks
#LostPrimarch
Lord Primarch Kaczynski, lost when he decided to join the Exodite Eldar and left the Imperium some gifts, even mailed a few to the Emperor.
Don’t open that.
For Dorn
#LostPrimarch it's probably something to do with the alpha legion.
#LostPrimarch Eldrad Ulthran. On day 542, the other primarchs realised he was not one of them.
#LostPrimarch Maletsune Mechiku, However he was deleted because he found the secret stash behind the Void Dragon's prison.
#LostPrimarch Glenus Quagmirius.
Found on a pleasure planet and reunited with the 11 Legion to lead them in battle, he adressed his sons and said that he wanted to go for some Styger Milk and pack of Lho-Sticks and that it wont take long.
A few days after his disappearance, the Emperor discovered that the world was full of people, who had faces which struck an uncanny resemblance to his son. They all partook in such abhorrent carnal activities, there arent even words in neither High nor Low-Gothic to describe them. The Emperor decided that Exterminatus was the only viable solution.
In the aftermath of the Exterminatus, the memories of the 11th were wiped and the Emperor spoke never again a single word about the Primarch.
#LostPrimarch is Settra we was banish for looking better in gold than the Big E, have more and better titles then everyone else, being faster then the khan, and when Bing E asked him to serve Settra said." Settra does not serve, Settra rules."
#LostPrimarch
It’s Dan Schneider, because he was selling. Emperor feet pics
It's cool and all but please me-lords, can I get some more fireside?
#LostPrimarch One of the Lost Primarchs was named Sanders and he was censured because he refused to disclose the secret KFC Spice Mix recipe to the Emperor and Malcador no matter how often they pleaded for that sweet sweet fried chicken and so he and his legion the Popcorn Chickens were shattered and disbanded
We all hate exeno’s here
What about necrons?
Necrons aren’t exeno’s.
They’re Galactic Malware
#LostPrimarch Skarsnik because the writers forgot about him.
#Primorks
#LostPrimarch Erda won the custody on that one, big E didn't want him either because he was waaay into nfts
#LostPrimarch Bussicus the Primark of the fembatals AKA the Femboy legion he had to be censured from the records because the bussy was too good for mankind to handle.
#LostPrimarch.
It's James Corden. And the big E sent Russ and his space wolf dogs to eliminate James Corden for his Heretical Involvement in his movie "Cats"
#lostprimarch Ash Grabem and he was found on an eldar world with an elven harem
The Necrons won all the wars in Heaven and when they freed themselves from the C'tan they knew they couldn't win another war so they slept. Thats the facts
Hey, I'm Shane!
#LostPrimarch Chris, and he was purged for saying "I think this Crusade is just ok."
#LostPrimarch
He got scrubbed from imperial records because, although he tried so hard and got so far, in the end it didn't even matter.
His name was Chesterus Benningtonian
#LostPrimarch it was heretic so after him the phrase suffer not the heretics were born
#lostprimarch the lost primarchs are just what happens when you break up with some but with death
Even the wood being really strong doesn't make sense. If the wood is strong enough to be used as a shield of equal quality to ceramite than how the hell do they cut the tree's down?
Swiggity swooty
#LostPrimarch is Alex Jones. The memes told me this.
#LostPrimarch Thattius Gaius was censored from Imperial Records for being so unwilling to wash that even cultists of Nurgle refused to talk to him. He was also so salty about being named primarch of the second legion that the Emperor - famous for putting up with idiotic children like Angron, Lorgar, and Magnus - had him thrown outside of his ship. His troops then all joined the Ultramarines and their presence was the principle reason for their 40k tendency to be overly anal about the Codex Astartes, being completely unable to compromise on a minor disagreement thus bringing any and all battles to a screeching halt until an official FAQ was released - by which time they had been shunted out into a new successor chapter.
In Nagash Morty's dad!?
#LostPrimarch
Elon Musk is one of the lost Primarchs. He represents the Emperor's narcissism. No one can do things better than Elon and his Legion, and if they did, no they didn't. And here is 1 million Space Bucks to say Elon's Legion actually did that. His legion's symbol was a Blue Bird on a white background, and the Emperor's patience for Elon was finally broken when Elon tried to change that symbol to an ugly black X. As such he was struck from history. For even the Emperor could not stand that level of arrogant narcissism.
Again asking for trazyn
$lostprimarch His name was Flinderaus and he was censured for doing the stanky leg.
#LostPrimarch john wick whude explain a lot of the movies
#LostPrimarch Steve from accounting he scammed big E out of 20 cents he still holds the grudge
#LostPrimarch Steven Hawking. He got censured because he delved too deep into artificial intelligence.
#LostPrimarch Louis he lost his head and damned to be French
#lostprimarch was rubbed out from history cus the rest of his Brothers found out he was Vegan and liked knitting
#LostPrimarch don cheadle, word of the day: administrative leave
#LostPrimarch
Danius Quaylius, obliterated after one to many misleading and confusing voxcast, such as:
1, It is time for the human race to enter the solar system.
2, If we dont succeed we run the risk of failure.
3, My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we will, never, never surrender to what is right.