Hello! Am I still sick? Yes. Am I less sick than yesterday? Hopefully? Thank you for your well wishes and also your comments about your favourite cheese. Merch can be bought here! jill-bearup.myspreadshop.com If that's not your thing, have some more armour reviews in a convenient playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLj4N-R1RQxAv_wyElkKGBax0IN9YoK-Bv.html The Fantasy Heroine series as one compilation: th-cam.com/video/m-axbuh6v68/w-d-xo.html My video about writing with Joriam Ramos: th-cam.com/video/kf3UBQVZBJc/w-d-xo.html
'Sexy Eejit' is a pretty decent summary of Sigvald's personality. In the tabletop game, he will sometimes disobey orders and do nothing, because he is admiring his reflection. So his terribly impractical armour is absolutely appropriate for him.
That and the Warhammer world would be a bit better if his armour ripped his bits off. Not gonna lampshade why a Slaneeshi cultist would wear armour like that.
She's writing a book adapting her series of shorts in which a woman writes a fantasy book and has conversations with her self insert protagonist. Wild.
Fun fact: The Mail underwear on Sigvald is artistic license by the artist. Sigvald wears a loincloth and only does so on his front. He's a man who prioritises easy acces over literally everything. The man was offered ANYTHING by a god and went ahead and chose armour and a cape that never get dirty. He has his body guard wear mirror-shined full plate so he can admire himself in battle. Truly _MAGNIFICENT_
he also got to look like a sixteen year old twink until the *end of time* right? like that was part of what he got from slaanesh, he's well over 300 in that picture if I recall rightly XD
sigvald the magnificent being in the just stab me now category is honestly perfect, as the mans whole thing is that hes so insanely vain and vapid that he gets his personal special elite soldiers to wear the shiniest armour possible so he can exam how sexy he looks in their mirror like reflections.
...imagine running with mail under ot over pants, even without the mail getting tangled with pubes and or 'danglings', the edges of the rings would chaffingly rip open his femorals after a whille during combative maneuverings....
the "mirror guard", they also use mirrors as shields. he hovers above the ground as well so he doesnt get dirty. hes not the kind of guy to worry about underwear.
the man also raided the land of the elves, murdering and scalping every single one he could find because he'd heard they had nicer hair than him, and that simply could not stand.
I thought the armor was bad, and then she called him Lucius Malfoy and I had to stop the video rewind, and watch that scene again because I was laughing so hard.
After all, isn't the need for sexy armor to distract your opponent so you can stab them? And what difference does the distraction make, whether from arousal or laughter?
For bonus points on Sigvald's Sexy Eejit armour, what this picture doesnt show you is that on the latest version of his model (as a prince of Slaanesh) the backs of his thighs, and his buttocks, are basically, well, butt-naked. its basically a chainmail thong and some armor strapped to the front of his thighs.
You'd be amazed how often a mug with "Just Stab me Now" on it is an appropriate response to a day!! Also, for some reason I now MUST have a hoodie with "Not actually armour" on it. Because, factual statements!
Now I want a bikini that say Not Actually Armour on it, just to further make a message (if you're wondering how that would work, my brain is functioning like "Not" and "actually" on the top parts and "armour" on the bottom part)
@@SevCaswell That's why i chose a T-shirt with these true words on it. (And a shopping bag with "could be worse" on it. My working collegue laughed reading it when i was getting lunch with it even though he doesn't know the context Just because wahtever i bought, the words still are true.)
What is truly "magnificent" about Sigvald is that his list of potential issues is so long that the fact that he would be stabbed in the face by his own shield if he used it as intended didn't even make the cut.
Yes, I know you called us warhammer fans out for all the paragraphs of fluff we give you, but I will say, aesthetically Sigvald's "just stab me now" armor is better than the "not actually armor" armor half of his army is given. In lore all of it (somewhat... almost) makes sense, because they're really into the pain, and will just fight harder when hurt. Also Sigvald worships the demon god of excess, so of course he's over the top in every way possible.
@@JillBearup While we're on the topic of Warhammer: Zhao Ming and Miao Ying are actually dragons that can shape-shift into human form and are more akin to demigods than your regular Joe. So I don't think they really need armour and what they're wearing is just how they chose to present themselves, so ... "not actually armour".
Sigwald will be into all of the potential chafing and stabbing his costume will incur, and since one of his many devine gifts allows him to regenerate at a rate that would make Wolverine jealous, he can actually survive more than one battle despite his proclivities.
I want an apron with "Just stab me now", a hoodie with "Not actually armour" and a mug with "Could be worse". The problem is I have no actual use for those items right now. I also looked at the hoodies and they contain polyester and I am trying to not buy any artificial fibers anymore. But if Jill ever offers the designs as downloadables, I might print or emproider a linen tunic with "not actually armour". Or panties. I would like panties with that. Just don't know where the "Just stab me now" should go.
Important note about the brother/sister combination is that they're actually dragons in human form. So whilst Miao Ying favours a ranged army...she's actually a dragon who can shapechange and rip you in half. So the armour in human form is mainly for show I've always assumed.
Yeah, all they ever do in human form is use magic spells. When they want to fight face to face, they both have the same armor: full-coverage dragon scales on their giant dragon bodies
Kerrigan might be worth a "stab me now" given that in the 2nd game she regains her humanity, but then subsequently *chooses* to re-adopt the high-heeled bug with boob plate look, this time completely under her own control and volition.
She did get stabbed in Heart of the Swarm. It was painful but she walked/crawled out of it. She also got a few bones broken in Legacy of the void. Again, a few self chiropractic crunches and she shrugs off the pain way.
I was a street cop in America some 30 years ago and I wore Level IIIA body armor (that I had to pay For myself, BTW.) It's amazing how much even Kevlar restricts your movement. I also had a "strike plate" of hard, rubber coated material that covered my heart/sternum area (can't remember now if it was metal or ceramic.) But that little bit of movement restriction was enough to ensure that I would hit my head above the ear while getting in the patrol car a non-trivial number of times. It hurts just to think about it.
If it only covers a small area of the front, it's called a "trauma plate" - similar plates can protect the upper part of the spine, since even a shot that it stopped can fracture multiple parts of the spine. Which can lead to a long recovery or permanent disability.
I think "Strike Plate" was the name the manufacturer used. They weren't rated for anything that I can recall. I think the idea was to provide some degree of stab protection. I think they had something that was rated for .30 carbine that you could buy separately thatceould fit in the pocket. Again, this was in the early '90s. Things have come a long way since then, but I'll bet tall police offers still bash their skulls on car roofs to this day.
Thank you for your (civilian) service. That's not a job I would want to take on, and that's just speaking as a citizen looking in from the outside. =^[.]^=
I really recommend looking up the official model of Sigvald where you can see just under his cape that his armour is not only backless, but also assless, meaning that a strong gust of wind upwards gives his entire army a view of Slaanesh's... greater gifts XD
It's worth noting that in Heroes of the Storm (the Blizzard MOBA) - one of Kerrigans poke lines (when you click on the character too many times in a row and get funny lines) is "really Blizzard, are we supposed to believe I evolved HIGH HEELS!?!" Other thing to note - Both Miao Ying and Zhou Ming are melee, their campaign bonuses in game preference ranged and melee armies respectively. They are both spell casters, oh and they TURN INTO DRAGONS... yeah they're literally dragons in a human form.
So I would totally wear a shirt or hoodie with the phrase Sexy Eejit on it. Thrilled to hear you are writing a manuscript cause I loved the series of shorts you did.
I love that you point out the lack of helmet for Maple. Early on we see her hit in the head from behind, where she doesn't see it coming, by what the show calls a morning star, which is effectively the kind of cartoonishly large mace common in video games. The thing literally bounces off because her defense stats are so ridiculously high, and that's still early in the show. It goes up from there.
she doesnt need visually reasonable armor when shes protected by the power of big funny numbers and hilarious exploits also if i remember correctly she is physically incapable of running simply because of her stats
Mr Motivator slightly scared me at the time. Or, at least, worried me at that time of the morning. Obviously, totally spot-on with Sigvald. However, as a champion of slaanesh, grating himself in all the wrong places is, sadly, going to gain him major brownie points from his chosen Chaos god - who is kinky as hell. On a more sensible note, really loved your hair in this video. Sadly, I have none, so can't emulate it without a wig but I am tempted.
I also love her hair and am confused that it looks rolled, but I think is braided ? I have long hair, but ponytail & simple 3 strand braid are my staple hair styles.
My main memory of Mr Motivator was that he told women not to cross their legs as it would twist their spine. I'm not sure how much I trusted him after that. Also, most of his exercises seemed to involve lots of deep squats if I remember right.
As someone who wrote their first book a few years ago, and is now working on their 7th, beware; writing gets addictive. The characters have a tendency to take on a life on their own (which is what your story is about already) and will keep living their lives, even after you have decided their story is over.
I suspect the fantasy heroine and her writer have already taken on lives of their own. Not only is Jill - as author - addicted to her characters, her author-character shows definite signs of addiction to the character-character.
@@WebWingRecords Just wait until the fanfic, which will not be about the characters, but about Jill writing the story, meaning that we have a fanfic author, writing about another author, who in turn is writing a self-insert author. It is all fractal goodness!
It's hilarious that the tiny girl with the big shield got "Just Stab Me Now," because she *wants* that. Video game logic and stats, she has an ability that reflects damage back on it's source, but her other stats (like speed) are so low she can't really do much more than that (early on anyway)
Okay, strictly speaking, Maple (From the the anime Bofuri) DOES have built-in explanations for the look of her armor and how she's able to wield the absolute beast of a shield that she's carrying: It's an MMO in-story. As with most MMOs, characters are pretty set, just like when you're playing a Lala Warrior in FFXIV, or a gnome or goblin in WoW. The sprites don't really change, other than equipping whatever new gear/cosmetics you're using at the time. The look of these items also doesn't matter beyond aesthetics, because since it's a game within the series, the stats are what really matter. For the purposes of story, Maple gets recommended a VR-MMO by her best friend, who is running late when she jumps into game. Not really understanding the rules of the game, Maple makes the decision to just dump all of her stat points into defense, to protect herself, fully sacrificing every other stat, which starts to render her almost fully invincible, but with absolutely abysmal movement, and not even using a melee or ranged weapon because of her stat choices.
@@MissaBrevis Oh probably! In the story, she basically becomes the eldritch horror while still being a perky teen girl who's just enjoying playing and exploring and making tons and tons of friends! The anime is on Hulu last time I watched it. It's really a parody of "non-gamer girl joins MMO and is a naturally good gamer enough to outgame everybody!" while still creating characters that are fun. It's cracky and relaxing to watch.
@@Aretemc Well, technically it's more, "non-gamer joins MMO and breaks it all to hell because all of the play-testers were gamers and would never have done anything as 'obviously wrong' as what she did." 😁
Thank you , I was laughing all the way through the last one . Warhammer loves to draw some amazing stuff but I'm sure they have never thought what if someone could actually wear it.
Was genuinely confused as those rippling pectorals we're perhaps more than was originally meant, plus the hair, plus the bikini bottom and thigh boots, and I honestly wasn't sure what I was looking at anymore. Now that I know, it makes much more sense. And I agree with Jill in hoping very much for some tightie whities under that ill-placed bit of chainmail.
@@JillBearup Okay but there's more. On the model you can see that the armor is, in fact, assless preview.redd.it/1vhzz821c5h61.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=68490e3837eb8cafde0ee8bc8008101765a0534a
@@JillBearup What you don't see in that picture is his exposed ass cheeks in the back. Not hyperbole. He's literally "BUT WHAT IF MAN THO?" It's his whole thing.
“Turns out writing is hard and requires a lot of thinking. Shocking, I know.” Proud of you Jill! Keep up great content and can’t wait to hear more about your book!
Counterpoint on Maple: The shins and sword-forearm are the most likely places for a frontal attacker to hit around the shield. They're just closer and it's hard to see attacks to the feet/shins through an opaque shield. Needs a helmet and the shield needs to be lighter, but otherwise reminding me of a mashup of the ancient era. Roman sword and shield with the greek afinity for breastplate+greaves. The forearm guard on the sword arm only(?) calls to mind certain types of gladiator. I'd call it pretty good.
Good old sigvald. His personal guard all carry mirrors so he can see how beautiful he is. Also I doubt he'd wear any underwear. Miao Ying Zhao Ming are both dragons and both do magic and both fight in melee.
Maple is a player character in a video game. She dumped all her points into defense, so even without armor she is better protected than most other player characters in the game. So, her unprotected bits are still surprisingly protected.
That still kinda falls into the very nebulous 'neutral' category, especially when you consider that, as a video game character, her armor is going to have stat buffs that aren't represented in the design. And because that's literally the way the world works, it's hard to say that the armor is "bad"; you can only say that "it would be bad if it occurred in the real world". Like a Barbarian in D&D; would that count as 'Just Stab Me Now' if the whole point of the character is to be so buff and tanky that stabbing does nothing more than make them angrier? Who knows.
@@fallingstar9643 Yeah, it's similar to a problem with much of sci-fi. When compared to our universe, it may be impossible. When in their universe, that shield can eat monsters and emit clouds of poison smoke. It was so effective that the devs nerfed her shield specifically. So, yeah, neutral is the best spot for it. Suboptimal given our universe.
She also didn't chose to wear it. It was the most powerful drop she had. Maple was done dirty on this list, it's clearly a design choice. (In fairness it would be easy to tell this is game armour if she had a big boob window or something but I don't want that, Maple is a child)
I too hate the heels. Choosing to risk broken ankles while claiming to protect yourself from being stabbed... Edit: Also, I am so excited for the book! And "One crisis at a time" is the most apropos title I've ever heard.
Tbf, Kerrigan has her own bodyguard brood of murderous gargantuan space/land insects/crustaceans and would be more concerned about bullets and fragmentating artillery shells than any serious hand to hand/melee combat.
@@SonsOfLorgar it's my personal opinion that armor should be able to stand up to scrutiny regardless of book/movie/video game lore. And heels are the worst footwear you could choose for battle. Even if you're just standing there, being in heels puts strain on your legs, feet, and back that a serious warrior would know to avoid.
One of her lines of "poke dialogue" (achieved by clicking on the unit enough) is something like "do you really expect me to believe that the pinnacle of evolution includes high heels?" So they're aware of it, but that doesn't make it any better. Also, her design from the first game didn't have heels but that was more in the style of her old ghost armor with bug bits sticking out.
As is now tradition with every fantasy heroine update, here's a super thanks because I'm too lazy to actually sign up for your Patreon/always forget by the time I get home (I usually watch these on my phone while on break at work) 😂 maybe today will be the day I finally remember to check it out when I get home 🙃
The Maple one is actually somewhat consistent with Roman era armour such as Hastati and Principes with torso and lower leg protection prioritised due to the shield covering most of the rest. Also see hoplite armour for the same idea as well as Medieval and early Renaissance Italian infantry. Maybe some mail on the upper arms would be useful but it's easy to find art without. You don't actually need to armour much of the rest because it's mostly covered by the shield.
So there is an entire regiment of these girls in world ? Because the point of those shields is that they covered the body of the person next to you. The romans, the hoplites and anyone else fighting shield and spear ( what is her weapon ) fought in multiple closed ranks. If that square shield is rigged as a roman shield half her body is exposed.
Can you make a video about the older Amy Pond from the episode 'The Girl Who Waited' of Doctor Who? I remember from your previous videos that you mentioned that you yourself are Whovian, I'm really interested to know what you think about this armor. It is important to note that the armor is not designed to prevent stabbings, but the light touch of robots that have anesthetics in their fingertips, and that the armor was made by hand from pieces of these robots.
Maple in that show is absolutely adorable, it's a video game, so it makes sense for video game aesthetic. But for an actual armor, not at all. It's really funny because she just puts all of her points in defense, so she just outlasts all the bad guys.
I just checked the LN and there when she gets the armor it is 1/6 the defense she has naturally, without skill boosts. Though the full set (armor, shield, and sword) was 40% her base defense. Though 1 thing I never got around to checking out to find is if the armor changes as it grows, since they are able to get stronger.
It really does just make the series's central joke even funnier. She's a cinnamon bun who oops!-es her way into being like... a video game last boss lol
@@sjmcc13 I dunno about the LN, but the webnovel doesn't ever update the armor's stats, although her mecha-god transformation *is* confirmed to make the armor stronger after every use because it is fueled by *breaking* items and her armor gets stronger every time it breaks, having said that I don't think we ever get hard numbers for just how much it goes up every time, simply that it *does*. (Also, IIRC the attacks from the mecha-god transformation are scaled based on the stats of the item it consumes, which is just absolutely *bonkers* broken as a combo)
Hey Jill, Goodluck with your writing. I myself am an aspiring author and I originally watched your channel for accuracy in armor and movement. Goodluck with your book once more!
50k words is a lot, Jill 👀 And yes! Next video up sooooon (both Jill and me got pretty sick during the holidays, so sorry this is taking a bit long folks)
I'm proud of you. I've had an idea to write a particular series for 20 years, and here you are slapping 153,000+ words into written form in the span of a month based on an inside joke series. They say not to compare progress to other people, but this is juggernaught-class levels of hard for me. Anywho, I'm proud of you, look forward to reading your book and rewatching your series, and raise my idiomatic glass to your continued success. P.S. Yes, I'm jealous, but I'm trying my best to let it power my writing and not ruin my experiences. Go far! 😘
A lot of issues raised on fantasy characters, especially of a magical persuasion, i am reminded of merch from Hello Future Me with the quote - "A wizard did it!" Love both channels!
So happy to hear that you’re writing the book!! One piece of advice that helps me when I stare at the words I’ve written and wonder if I even have a basic grasp of the English language is that each draft of your work is like a coat of paint, and looking at another piece of writing (even your own), it can be easy to forget how many coats of paint are already there versus the one coat you’re putting down on your WIP. So excited to read it when it’s done!
I'm crossing my fingers one of the future adaptations of the book is going to be an audiobook- I couldn't fathom hearing any other voice but yours anyhow.
"One Crisis At a Time" is a great title! I look forward to purchasing a copy when it is done. The updated Just Stab Me Now to include Sexy Eejit is wonderful! Glad you are feeling better. Happy writing!
Congratulations on 50k words! That's an achievement! For comparison, me not taking an entire holiday break to write and holding down a full time job and home-ownership on my own, took about 3 years to get just over 30k words. I'm definitely hashtag jealous.
Welcome back Jill! Missed the videos and I'm so excited for more book info! Hubby and I will be waiting with baited breath. Hope you feel even better soon! ....and I'm getting me one of those aprons....I'm a leather craftsman and I need this. Stabbing myself with needles and skiving knives is a too common occurrence. Hehe
I would love to see Jill or a Jill influenced character in some show or anime seeing the protagonist wearing some just stab me now armour and saying "honey..." and actually schooling them and making them upgrade their armour to something useful.
Love these vids. I constantly keep in the back of my mind your points about armor when I design characters for my comic now, and imagining what you'd say about the armor (or Not Actually Armor in some cases) helps.
Bit of context, Sigval's patroen Gid is Slaneesh, The God of Unspeakable Excess, so take anything that give you ANY form of pleasure, and Slaneesh turns it into NIGHTMARE FUEL, by taking it to the most extreme possible extent, in closing, very bad time
Had to go run across the apartment to tell my room mate (who I got into the fantasy heroine series) about the book! We’re both very excited and can’t wait to hear more. As a fellow writer, I wish you the best!
I feel like it would be brilliant to have a mood indicator on my desk that I can toggle between "Pretty Good", "Could Be Worse", and "Just Stab Me Now" 😄 Love these vids!
A character whose armour I kinda love the design of but also infuriates me is Aranea Highwind from Final Fantasy XV. Her shoulder armour has stabby things that would stab her in the face if she raises her arms but she looks so cool
Just a thought... If you ever consider going the graphic novel approach, you should have a conversation with Shad, since he is currently having his book turned into a graphic novel. It could be very insightful. Admittedly, I also would be grinning from ear-to-ear at the idea of the two of you doing a co-lab video...😁
I started the video thinking "We need some 'Could Be Worse' merch, that is a great font and could be worse is definitely the most positive thought I can have first thing in the morning", and then, wait 8 minutes, and Jill retroactively reads my mind and pushes it. Way to go!
Maple's armour is what her in-game character wears. She's put 100% of her points into her defence stat, so she could be wearing literal tissue paper and her defence would likely still be higher than a guy in full plate armour. It basically takes an orbital laser to even hurt her, which makes her placement on this list even funnier.
Also, she is about as slow as you'd expect from a girl holding a massive tower shield, since she didn't put any points into speed. She gets around it by getting a piggyback ride from her friend, or by using a skill that lets her teleport.
Oh, absolutely true. The deficiencies of her armor, the way it slows her down, the ways it leaves openings, utterly irrelevant due to her game build. But this is a rating system for her armor as armor, so... yep, just stab me now. But it's Maple so stabbing her isn't going to do much! All due credit to the writers. They're probably well aware of how bad the armor is as actual armor, and are lampshading the general video game RPG aesthetic. Isn't it actually meant to be an offensive-based set? Can't remember the context she actually earned it in.
@@themorebeer3072 Maple's armor mostly just boosts her defense stat, what makes that set in particular really good is it's self-repair function, because every time it breaks it grows back stronger, and considering her machine-god form breaks items when it activates and (I think) bases it's damage on the stats of the item consumed, it gets really bonkers really fast. The context for acquiring it was being the first to solo-clear the poison dragon dungeon, so she got some really strong skills (hydra, paralyzing shout, and devour), a suit of armor with self-repair, a shield with an empty skill slot, and a short sword with 2 empty skill slots, she put devour into the shield and hydra and paralyzing shout into the short sword.
I did not know you were going to write a novel, wow!! I’m excited to see how you will conquer the format change, especially because with TH-cam shorts and stuff there’s a higher suspension of belief and it’s much easier to have the characters talk to each other. Also I absolutely love the idea of a book within a book!!! Hehehe
4:40 I cooked Christmas dinner by myself for my mother and I and I figured out when I needed to put stuff in the oven, on the stove, etc and wrote it out in chronological order.
I don't know much about warhammer but for sarah kerrigan it looks to me like they were trying to mix digitigrade feet (like kangaroos and a lot of dinosaurs) with something that could look like armor so yes usually high heels are impractical but if your body is now formed to be designed to walk on your toes and not flat footed, it....kind of makes sense.
For Kerrigan: she was a sniper/spy as a human and when she was captured to get turned into that she was wearing a skintight sneaksuit with wedge heels for... I dunno, reasons. I've always just assumed the Zerg didn't know the difference between people and clothing and so grew her heels because as far as they could see her body had heels. For Sigvald: he is literally a Sexy Eejit. His shield has a mirror on the back of it and there's actually rules in game that you have to check every turn to see if he gets distracted looking at himself and how beautiful he is and forgets to fight for a minute. Also, his God is the God of (among other things) "extreme sensation" so he probably isn't wearing anything under those mail undies, and every reason you're thinking of for why that's a horrible idea he almost certainly sees as a positive.
To further on Kerrigan, at least from my own mind. High Heels were used by butchers to not slip on bloody surfaces. Which in universe...yeah that fits perfectly for the amount of bodies she drops. Aside from that, its totally a dude that thought high heels will totally complete this look.
@@Violaphobia for most of human history rubber came from trees, and human heads are covered in extruded non-living tissue (hair). There's no reason the Zerg, without context, wouldn't interpret Kerrigan's sneak suit as some kind of grown exoskeleton just of a different material from her hair.
Human ghost Kerrigan in SC1 is in flats, and same with WoL intro trailer and art that I can see. The suit comes with a breastplate, armor plates and sabatons. Upper leg armor is clearly for suckers. Infested Kerrigan looks like her armor has been damaged and starts to get absorbed by her carapace. Her armor is actually higher as a ghost than infested. Maybe between capture and evolving it's damaged. As carapace upgrades come they take over. Queen of blades Kerrigan looks like that armor has been either complete absorbed or replaced by just carapace. And that's where the heels come in. Deinfested Kerrigan sticking with the heels, which may still reflect her feet.
Fluff Engagement: Maple's character is a virtual character in a MMORPG. The armor look is supposed to be more for aesthetics and stat bonuses vs. actually being one-to-one for protection. Maple's character actually has so much 'vitality' that in one episode a morning star bounces off her un-helmeted head, barely even making Maple notice it. All that said, and who really cares, right? 'Cause that's not the point of the reviews. Its the fun. :) And I enjoy every single one! :)
As a neurologist I am usually carry around my reflex hammer upside down in my lab coat and sometimes when I forget about it and bend down to pick something up I nearly impale myself with its pointy end. I feel your comments about pointy metal things close to the body and not being able to bend on a personal level.
Except worse, based on the game, and how the armor was acquired (it is unique for being the first person to accomplish a specific feat from a set list, a few other characters in the book have pulled of the same for a different item on the list, and seems to be customized to Mapel by the game system), it was probably AI designed.
These armor tier videos give me such a laugh, especially the phrasing that get used. I did get to use the Just Stab Me Now phrase recently. I would probably buy the book too. Keep 'er moving, Jill. 🤺
1:16 Kerrigan isn't wearing anything. The armor wasn't grown on her - that's just her including the heels (think dragon feet). She routinely tears city-block sized warships out of orbit with her mind. 8:10 Sigvald is a humping-obsessed champion of the demonic god of excess. It's honestly bizarre that he has armor or a shield. Also, he likes healthy breeze down there and so doesn't have crotch protection under the cloth. Despite this he can duel almost anything into the dirt.
Kerrigan's aesthetic is based on her skintight stealth suit, which I think also had heels. Edit: I can't actually prove that statement because most of what I'm finding on the original kerrigan is fan art. So much fan art.
@@RecklessFables I don't think the ghost suit had heels, but she was mostly drawn in kneeling poses or stepping poses on inclined surfaces that provided a heel-like effect iirc. I don't know where I have the original starcraft manual, probably still in a moving box in the garage.
This video was vastly entertaining! I got a good laugh out of your comments on Sigvald lol especially the Lucius Malfoy comment hehe that's exactly who I was thinking of when I first saw the picture. 😂 Also another bit of hilarity... at 10:55 I literally had a moment of "wait, who is Henry??" only to go : facepalm ohhhh he's the 🔥Hot Editor🔥 So apparently I just refer to him like that in my head and didn't remember his actual name 🤣
So, Greek Hoplites went with “big shield, armor on forearms and legs, and some sort of cuirass,” making Tower Shield Girl’s decision reasonably justified.
I was looking to see if someone had commented this as it was my first thought - as the Greeks showed, there's a good argument that if you can shield your body, the most imporant areas to armour are the extremities. Hell, while the historical Spartans didn't wear the 300 outfits, it wouldn't have been as bad as people might think. A phalanx of shields, with armoured heads, arms and feet poking out is a soild wall of metal no matter what the hoplites are wearing elsewhere, and wielding the spear overarm still allows for offense. That said, thinking more about it, unlike Maple, Hoplites armoured their heads - the most vulnerable of areas not covered by the shield - and, arguably most importantly, fought in formation, allowing them to partially cover the men beside them with their shields and making it unlikely that they're going to be attacked from a direction they can't use the shield. So, while I'm not sure that Maple's armour is quite in the Stab Me Now category, it's definitely flawed from a protective aspect.
Have you seen any original depiction or description of hoplites wearing any armour on the forearms? I'm not calling you out, it's just that I never saw anything like that, and after searching right now I failed finding any source.
What annoys me most about the Kerrigan high heel is that in the first art, it was not a high heel, it was a backwards-facing talon that she was standing on to simulate a high heel in a single posed shot and then all the later artists turned her feet into solid chitin high-heeled boots. Male gaze did my girl Sarah dirty.
@@superslash7254 And lesbians don't like it! It's for the male gaze, because onlyva certain kind of men look at that and feel anything but mild disgust. Lesbians actually like women... Not like, blow up sex dolls disguised as women. Source: Am Lesbian who knows many lesbians who specifically play SC2 and hate Kerrigans design.
@@RvEijndhoven Really? I don't think about you at all. Here's a protip to help you be a less terrible human being: Anytime you want to say something about a group of people because of how they were born replace the group you're denigrating with "blacks" or "jews". Maybe that will help you grow at least a fraction of a conscience.
@@superslash7254 It saddens me how you're just repeating something someone else said to you and think that you're scoring points, when really you're just highlighting how much you didn't understand the point they were making.
Have you watched any of the Arrows vs Armor videos from Tod’s Workshop? He did one a few years ago, but has since produced a series expanding the types of tests and equipment. It’s interesting that a mail shirt is almost useless vs. an arrow, but plate shatters and deflects them quite well, when the plate is properly shaped. The longbow archer in the series says he can shoot a 160 draw weight longbow for hours, but a 200 pound draw will leave him ‘knackered’ after 4 shots. Lots of female fantasy characters use bows as if that’s somehow less demanding than melee, but if you look at Joe’s build, it’s clearly not any easier to draw a heavy longbow than to swing something like a mace.
Interesting point about Maple's armor, this is inside of a video game, so weight really isn't an issue. I do agree with the rest of it, though I'm surprised you didn't mention that she's not wearing high heels. (Also, if you're into anime, Bofuri is one of those low-stakes, feel good shows that's just fun to watch.)
Hello! Am I still sick? Yes. Am I less sick than yesterday? Hopefully? Thank you for your well wishes and also your comments about your favourite cheese.
Merch can be bought here! jill-bearup.myspreadshop.com
If that's not your thing, have some more armour reviews in a convenient playlist: th-cam.com/play/PLj4N-R1RQxAv_wyElkKGBax0IN9YoK-Bv.html
The Fantasy Heroine series as one compilation: th-cam.com/video/m-axbuh6v68/w-d-xo.html
My video about writing with Joriam Ramos: th-cam.com/video/kf3UBQVZBJc/w-d-xo.html
Feel better soon
*so you're mostly well but not quite where you need or want to be...got it*
Hot totty with tea, bourbon (or whisky) and honey. If it don't cure you, you don't care. Get well soon
@@Mark-ki7ic my favorite is "Hot & Sour soup", available at most Chinese Takeouts (USA at least). Guaranteed to clear your sinuses !
Favorite cheese: Follow Your Heart's Smoked Gouda.
'Sexy Eejit' is a pretty decent summary of Sigvald's personality. In the tabletop game, he will sometimes disobey orders and do nothing, because he is admiring his reflection. So his terribly impractical armour is absolutely appropriate for him.
Iconic
Also, Slaanesh and all that so the pain, chafing etc, probably a bonus.
Another detail that the provided image doesn't reveal is that his ass is in fact completely bare.
That and the Warhammer world would be a bit better if his armour ripped his bits off. Not gonna lampshade why a Slaneeshi cultist would wear armour like that.
@@darkstrikeofbass ^This. Slaanesh would approve of bare metal on skin.
She's writing a book adapting her series of shorts in which a woman writes a fantasy book and has conversations with her self insert protagonist. Wild.
A very 'Jill' thing to do and will be all the more awesome for it.
@@deaks25 it's why we love her
Very postmodern.
It's So Meta Even This Acronym
I WANT IT!
Fun fact: The Mail underwear on Sigvald is artistic license by the artist. Sigvald wears a loincloth and only does so on his front. He's a man who prioritises easy acces over literally everything.
The man was offered ANYTHING by a god and went ahead and chose armour and a cape that never get dirty. He has his body guard wear mirror-shined full plate so he can admire himself in battle. Truly _MAGNIFICENT_
god I love warhammer lore
he also got to look like a sixteen year old twink until the *end of time* right? like that was part of what he got from slaanesh, he's well over 300 in that picture if I recall rightly XD
Also, he can't trip! He literally floats above the ground, since he's too pretty to touch the ground with his feet.
Don't forget he also floats 2inches off the ground because he is too magnificent to be dirtied by muck of the ground.
@@The_Murder_Party ah he's a Slaanesh follower?
That makes chain mail sausage trauma a plus side rather than a negative! 🤣
sigvald the magnificent being in the just stab me now category is honestly perfect, as the mans whole thing is that hes so insanely vain and vapid that he gets his personal special elite soldiers to wear the shiniest armour possible so he can exam how sexy he looks in their mirror like reflections.
...imagine running with mail under ot over pants, even without the mail getting tangled with pubes and or 'danglings', the edges of the rings would chaffingly rip open his femorals after a whille during combative maneuverings....
the "mirror guard", they also use mirrors as shields. he hovers above the ground as well so he doesnt get dirty. hes not the kind of guy to worry about underwear.
@@razor1uk610 honestly, well it's just warhammers silly aesthetic that's also just something sigvald would do on purpose.
chuck in how "tight" and "chafy" it is.. as someone who follows Slaanesh.. thats perfect for him too..
the man also raided the land of the elves, murdering and scalping every single one he could find because he'd heard they had nicer hair than him, and that simply could not stand.
You need a second red tier for the armor list, named "No Need To Stab Me Because I Died Laughing", where armor like Sigvald´s can go.
I thought the armor was bad, and then she called him Lucius Malfoy and I had to stop the video rewind, and watch that scene again because I was laughing so hard.
After all, isn't the need for sexy armor to distract your opponent so you can stab them? And what difference does the distraction make, whether from arousal or laughter?
Make it purple to match our faces.
his WHOLE caboose is out
Purple tier
For bonus points on Sigvald's Sexy Eejit armour, what this picture doesnt show you is that on the latest version of his model (as a prince of Slaanesh) the backs of his thighs, and his buttocks, are basically, well, butt-naked. its basically a chainmail thong and some armor strapped to the front of his thighs.
DYING 😂😂😂
Oh no, that has got to be so uncomfortable 😖
Facepalm
@@Cora.T as a worshiper of Slaanesh, he's into that.
@@trollunderbridge2292 😂😂
You'd be amazed how often a mug with "Just Stab me Now" on it is an appropriate response to a day!! Also, for some reason I now MUST have a hoodie with "Not actually armour" on it. Because, factual statements!
SAME
Now I want a bikini that say Not Actually Armour on it, just to further make a message (if you're wondering how that would work, my brain is functioning like "Not" and "actually" on the top parts and "armour" on the bottom part)
My thoughts on the "not actually armour" hoodie
Well I find the not actually armour hoodie idea rather ironic, because hoodies are actually emotional armour...
@@SevCaswell That's why i chose a T-shirt with these true words on it. (And a shopping bag with "could be worse" on it. My working collegue laughed reading it when i was getting lunch with it even though he doesn't know the context Just because wahtever i bought, the words still are true.)
What is truly "magnificent" about Sigvald is that his list of potential issues is so long that the fact that he would be stabbed in the face by his own shield if he used it as intended didn't even make the cut.
Wait, how does he use it if not to shield him from harm?
@@andrewvanderaa2790 He uses it to look at himself during battles.
Yes, I know you called us warhammer fans out for all the paragraphs of fluff we give you, but I will say, aesthetically Sigvald's "just stab me now" armor is better than the "not actually armor" armor half of his army is given. In lore all of it (somewhat... almost) makes sense, because they're really into the pain, and will just fight harder when hurt. Also Sigvald worships the demon god of excess, so of course he's over the top in every way possible.
I was being sincere though, and not just because the paragraphs-long comments make the algorithm happy 😁
@@JillBearup Engagement, here's some. :)
He wants to feel all that chaffing, or, more accurately, his god wants him to chafe
@@JillBearup While we're on the topic of Warhammer: Zhao Ming and Miao Ying are actually dragons that can shape-shift into human form and are more akin to demigods than your regular Joe. So I don't think they really need armour and what they're wearing is just how they chose to present themselves, so ... "not actually armour".
Sigwald will be into all of the potential chafing and stabbing his costume will incur, and since one of his many devine gifts allows him to regenerate at a rate that would make Wolverine jealous, he can actually survive more than one battle despite his proclivities.
AN APRON with "just stab me now" is a piece of merch I didn't knew I needed. Splendid!
its a bit risky though isnt it ... kitchen ... knives and all :-P ( and yes i want one)
@@bjrnnielsen6129 Get the apron designed to have stabby pockets.
I want an apron with "Just stab me now", a hoodie with "Not actually armour" and a mug with "Could be worse".
The problem is I have no actual use for those items right now. I also looked at the hoodies and they contain polyester and I am trying to not buy any artificial fibers anymore.
But if Jill ever offers the designs as downloadables, I might print or emproider a linen tunic with "not actually armour". Or panties. I would like panties with that.
Just don't know where the "Just stab me now" should go.
Totally counts as a sexy apron thing.
I have one for BBQ's "Prick with a Fork"
Not gonna lie, the part where she said "Warhammer fans, never change" made my heart swell just a little
Important note about the brother/sister combination is that they're actually dragons in human form. So whilst Miao Ying favours a ranged army...she's actually a dragon who can shapechange and rip you in half. So the armour in human form is mainly for show I've always assumed.
I must admit hearing them referred to as melee and ranged fighters gave me a little chuckle.
Definitely not how I would explain them to someone.
Battle starts... instantly hit the 'transformation' button. Although Zhao is actually a pretty decent melee lord, cool animations on him too.
They also look reasonably dressed if they were to have to go somewhere cold.
Yeah, all they ever do in human form is use magic spells. When they want to fight face to face, they both have the same armor: full-coverage dragon scales on their giant dragon bodies
Perfect category, not an armor. XD
Kerrigan might be worth a "stab me now" given that in the 2nd game she regains her humanity, but then subsequently *chooses* to re-adopt the high-heeled bug with boob plate look, this time completely under her own control and volition.
Power corrupts. And I have to admit control over the swarm seems VERY tempting.
*Agonized scream in Bearup Fan*
She did get stabbed in Heart of the Swarm. It was painful but she walked/crawled out of it. She also got a few bones broken in Legacy of the void. Again, a few self chiropractic crunches and she shrugs off the pain way.
I was a street cop in America some 30 years ago and I wore Level IIIA body armor (that I had to pay For myself, BTW.) It's amazing how much even Kevlar restricts your movement. I also had a "strike plate" of hard, rubber coated material that covered my heart/sternum area (can't remember now if it was metal or ceramic.) But that little bit of movement restriction was enough to ensure that I would hit my head above the ear while getting in the patrol car a non-trivial number of times. It hurts just to think about it.
If it only covers a small area of the front, it's called a "trauma plate" - similar plates can protect the upper part of the spine, since even a shot that it stopped can fracture multiple parts of the spine. Which can lead to a long recovery or permanent disability.
I think "Strike Plate" was the name the manufacturer used. They weren't rated for anything that I can recall. I think the idea was to provide some degree of stab protection. I think they had something that was rated for .30 carbine that you could buy separately thatceould fit in the pocket. Again, this was in the early '90s. Things have come a long way since then, but I'll bet tall police offers still bash their skulls on car roofs to this day.
Thank you for your (civilian) service. That's not a job I would want to take on, and that's just speaking as a citizen looking in from the outside. =^[.]^=
And that's why the U.S. military doesn't develop futuristic body armor for their troops. It's not effing practical.
I really recommend looking up the official model of Sigvald where you can see just under his cape that his armour is not only backless, but also assless, meaning that a strong gust of wind upwards gives his entire army a view of Slaanesh's... greater gifts XD
You say that as if he doesn't like that.
It's worth noting that in Heroes of the Storm (the Blizzard MOBA) - one of Kerrigans poke lines (when you click on the character too many times in a row and get funny lines) is "really Blizzard, are we supposed to believe I evolved HIGH HEELS!?!"
Other thing to note - Both Miao Ying and Zhou Ming are melee, their campaign bonuses in game preference ranged and melee armies respectively. They are both spell casters, oh and they TURN INTO DRAGONS... yeah they're literally dragons in a human form.
So I would totally wear a shirt or hoodie with the phrase Sexy Eejit on it. Thrilled to hear you are writing a manuscript cause I loved the series of shorts you did.
I love that you point out the lack of helmet for Maple. Early on we see her hit in the head from behind, where she doesn't see it coming, by what the show calls a morning star, which is effectively the kind of cartoonishly large mace common in video games. The thing literally bounces off because her defense stats are so ridiculously high, and that's still early in the show. It goes up from there.
getting better at fighting means your skull is tougher
thanks, video game logic
@@Technotoadnotafrog Precisely!
She points out that the weight of the limb armor would slow her down and in the show is literally based on that concept.
@@Technotoadnotafrog Well, yes. It is literally meant to be a video game. She's not fighting in 'real life', she's in a VR game.
she doesnt need visually reasonable armor when shes protected by the power of big funny numbers and hilarious exploits
also if i remember correctly she is physically incapable of running simply because of her stats
Mr Motivator slightly scared me at the time. Or, at least, worried me at that time of the morning. Obviously, totally spot-on with Sigvald. However, as a champion of slaanesh, grating himself in all the wrong places is, sadly, going to gain him major brownie points from his chosen Chaos god - who is kinky as hell. On a more sensible note, really loved your hair in this video. Sadly, I have none, so can't emulate it without a wig but I am tempted.
I also love her hair and am confused that it looks rolled, but I think is braided ? I have long hair, but ponytail & simple 3 strand braid are my staple hair styles.
My main memory of Mr Motivator was that he told women not to cross their legs as it would twist their spine. I'm not sure how much I trusted him after that. Also, most of his exercises seemed to involve lots of deep squats if I remember right.
As someone who wrote their first book a few years ago, and is now working on their 7th, beware; writing gets addictive.
The characters have a tendency to take on a life on their own (which is what your story is about already) and will keep living their lives, even after you have decided their story is over.
I suspect the fantasy heroine and her writer have already taken on lives of their own. Not only is Jill - as author - addicted to her characters, her author-character shows definite signs of addiction to the character-character.
@@timothyhopper4956 this statement is so delightfully absurd yet makes so much sense in context lol
@@WebWingRecords Just wait until the fanfic, which will not be about the characters, but about Jill writing the story, meaning that we have a fanfic author, writing about another author, who in turn is writing a self-insert author.
It is all fractal goodness!
So you're saying my fanfic of the love affair between her hot husband and childhood friend already as an audience?
It's hilarious that the tiny girl with the big shield got "Just Stab Me Now," because she *wants* that.
Video game logic and stats, she has an ability that reflects damage back on it's source, but her other stats (like speed) are so low she can't really do much more than that (early on anyway)
Okay, strictly speaking, Maple (From the the anime Bofuri) DOES have built-in explanations for the look of her armor and how she's able to wield the absolute beast of a shield that she's carrying: It's an MMO in-story. As with most MMOs, characters are pretty set, just like when you're playing a Lala Warrior in FFXIV, or a gnome or goblin in WoW. The sprites don't really change, other than equipping whatever new gear/cosmetics you're using at the time. The look of these items also doesn't matter beyond aesthetics, because since it's a game within the series, the stats are what really matter.
For the purposes of story, Maple gets recommended a VR-MMO by her best friend, who is running late when she jumps into game. Not really understanding the rules of the game, Maple makes the decision to just dump all of her stat points into defense, to protect herself, fully sacrificing every other stat, which starts to render her almost fully invincible, but with absolutely abysmal movement, and not even using a melee or ranged weapon because of her stat choices.
So what you're saying is that in-universe there's probably an Anime Jill Bearup who still rates that armor set as Just Stab Me Now?
@@MissaBrevis Oh probably! In the story, she basically becomes the eldritch horror while still being a perky teen girl who's just enjoying playing and exploring and making tons and tons of friends! The anime is on Hulu last time I watched it. It's really a parody of "non-gamer girl joins MMO and is a naturally good gamer enough to outgame everybody!" while still creating characters that are fun. It's cracky and relaxing to watch.
Just Stab Me Now cos you will die trying
@@Aretemc Well, technically it's more, "non-gamer joins MMO and breaks it all to hell because all of the play-testers were gamers and would never have done anything as 'obviously wrong' as what she did." 😁
@@Aretemc And her friends are "Sorry I'm late! What new war crime did Maple commit while I was gone?" 🤣
"Sexy Eejit Armour" sure beats my "Mingin' Eejit Armour."
Thank you , I was laughing all the way through the last one . Warhammer loves to draw some amazing stuff but I'm sure they have never thought what if someone could actually wear it.
It gave me SUCH JOY, honestly. Like someone looked at bikini armour for the ladies and went: BUT WHAT IF *MAN* THO?
Was genuinely confused as those rippling pectorals we're perhaps more than was originally meant, plus the hair, plus the bikini bottom and thigh boots, and I honestly wasn't sure what I was looking at anymore. Now that I know, it makes much more sense. And I agree with Jill in hoping very much for some tightie whities under that ill-placed bit of chainmail.
@@JillBearup Okay but there's more. On the model you can see that the armor is, in fact, assless
preview.redd.it/1vhzz821c5h61.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=68490e3837eb8cafde0ee8bc8008101765a0534a
@@JillBearup What you don't see in that picture is his exposed ass cheeks in the back. Not hyperbole. He's literally "BUT WHAT IF MAN THO?" It's his whole thing.
@@Randicore Other comments have described that, but seeing it makes a world of difference. Thanks for the laugh!
“Turns out writing is hard and requires a lot of thinking. Shocking, I know.”
Proud of you Jill! Keep up great content and can’t wait to hear more about your book!
Counterpoint on Maple:
The shins and sword-forearm are the most likely places for a frontal attacker to hit around the shield. They're just closer and it's hard to see attacks to the feet/shins through an opaque shield. Needs a helmet and the shield needs to be lighter, but otherwise reminding me of a mashup of the ancient era. Roman sword and shield with the greek afinity for breastplate+greaves. The forearm guard on the sword arm only(?) calls to mind certain types of gladiator. I'd call it pretty good.
We all missed while you were gone Jill. Thank you for coming back.
Sigvald and his chaos patron Slaanesh are happy you have such perverse joy in his appearance.
Good old sigvald. His personal guard all carry mirrors so he can see how beautiful he is. Also I doubt he'd wear any underwear. Miao Ying Zhao Ming are both dragons and both do magic and both fight in melee.
@@geesehoward700 not entirely up on his lore, but if he's much like other Slaanesh patrons, he's probably into the chafing.
@@mrtalos sigvald Scion of slaanesh sollumly swerves senseless skiddies since skimpies slows sinful scandalous situations
Maple is a player character in a video game. She dumped all her points into defense, so even without armor she is better protected than most other player characters in the game.
So, her unprotected bits are still surprisingly protected.
That still kinda falls into the very nebulous 'neutral' category, especially when you consider that, as a video game character, her armor is going to have stat buffs that aren't represented in the design. And because that's literally the way the world works, it's hard to say that the armor is "bad"; you can only say that "it would be bad if it occurred in the real world".
Like a Barbarian in D&D; would that count as 'Just Stab Me Now' if the whole point of the character is to be so buff and tanky that stabbing does nothing more than make them angrier? Who knows.
@@fallingstar9643 Yeah, it's similar to a problem with much of sci-fi. When compared to our universe, it may be impossible. When in their universe, that shield can eat monsters and emit clouds of poison smoke. It was so effective that the devs nerfed her shield specifically.
So, yeah, neutral is the best spot for it. Suboptimal given our universe.
She also didn't chose to wear it. It was the most powerful drop she had. Maple was done dirty on this list, it's clearly a design choice. (In fairness it would be easy to tell this is game armour if she had a big boob window or something but I don't want that, Maple is a child)
She's also a loli therefore it's common for the fans to want to protecc.
Damn anime fans are weird.
Glad I'm a anime fan.
It is amusing that Maple’s gear could be classed as ‘not actually armour’ since its ‘physical’ design is entirely cosmetic
I too hate the heels. Choosing to risk broken ankles while claiming to protect yourself from being stabbed...
Edit: Also, I am so excited for the book! And "One crisis at a time" is the most apropos title I've ever heard.
Tbf, Kerrigan has her own bodyguard brood of murderous gargantuan space/land insects/crustaceans and would be more concerned about bullets and fragmentating artillery shells than any serious hand to hand/melee combat.
@@SonsOfLorgar it's my personal opinion that armor should be able to stand up to scrutiny regardless of book/movie/video game lore. And heels are the worst footwear you could choose for battle. Even if you're just standing there, being in heels puts strain on your legs, feet, and back that a serious warrior would know to avoid.
@@SonsOfLorgar Also don't forget that she can fly and any damage she receives is regenerated almost instantly by the fact that she's technically Zerg.
@@mathnerd3364 Heels, though not that tall, were fairly common in combat not that long ago. It's what cavalry had to better stay in their stirrups.
One of her lines of "poke dialogue" (achieved by clicking on the unit enough) is something like "do you really expect me to believe that the pinnacle of evolution includes high heels?"
So they're aware of it, but that doesn't make it any better. Also, her design from the first game didn't have heels but that was more in the style of her old ghost armor with bug bits sticking out.
As is now tradition with every fantasy heroine update, here's a super thanks because I'm too lazy to actually sign up for your Patreon/always forget by the time I get home (I usually watch these on my phone while on break at work) 😂 maybe today will be the day I finally remember to check it out when I get home 🙃
You're on the a la carte programme, clearly :D
@@JillBearup a la carte, is that where I find the cheeses?
@@Echo_419 🤣.
@@JillBearup It took me a week, but I finally got on your Patreon!
You also have the dubious honor of being the first person I backed😁
The irony of Maple getting “Just Stab Me Now” when in the game she couldn’t be stabbed
Edit: spelling
Didn't the devs added piercing damage to ignore defence specifically to soft nerf her (and failed to do so)
Plus being a game character, so her char can use that giant shield pretty well. I can't wait for season 2 to see how ridiculous she gets.
@@laisy961 They did several things to nerf her, specifically
Wait till you guys see season 2. She became even more elditch Horror.
@@laisy961 yeah but her CON is already high enough that she broke THAT.
The Maple one is actually somewhat consistent with Roman era armour such as Hastati and Principes with torso and lower leg protection prioritised due to the shield covering most of the rest. Also see hoplite armour for the same idea as well as Medieval and early Renaissance Italian infantry. Maybe some mail on the upper arms would be useful but it's easy to find art without. You don't actually need to armour much of the rest because it's mostly covered by the shield.
So there is an entire regiment of these girls in world ? Because the point of those shields is that they covered the body of the person next to you. The romans, the hoplites and anyone else fighting shield and spear ( what is her weapon ) fought in multiple closed ranks. If that square shield is rigged as a roman shield half her body is exposed.
I'm so excited for the book!
Can you make a video about the older Amy Pond from the episode 'The Girl Who Waited' of Doctor Who? I remember from your previous videos that you mentioned that you yourself are Whovian, I'm really interested to know what you think about this armor. It is important to note that the armor is not designed to prevent stabbings, but the light touch of robots that have anesthetics in their fingertips, and that the armor was made by hand from pieces of these robots.
Maple in that show is absolutely adorable, it's a video game, so it makes sense for video game aesthetic. But for an actual armor, not at all.
It's really funny because she just puts all of her points in defense, so she just outlasts all the bad guys.
I just checked the LN and there when she gets the armor it is 1/6 the defense she has naturally, without skill boosts. Though the full set (armor, shield, and sword) was 40% her base defense.
Though 1 thing I never got around to checking out to find is if the armor changes as it grows, since they are able to get stronger.
It really does just make the series's central joke even funnier. She's a cinnamon bun who oops!-es her way into being like... a video game last boss lol
The devs cheer that environmental damage affects her
@@sjmcc13 I dunno about the LN, but the webnovel doesn't ever update the armor's stats, although her mecha-god transformation *is* confirmed to make the armor stronger after every use because it is fueled by *breaking* items and her armor gets stronger every time it breaks, having said that I don't think we ever get hard numbers for just how much it goes up every time, simply that it *does*. (Also, IIRC the attacks from the mecha-god transformation are scaled based on the stats of the item it consumes, which is just absolutely *bonkers* broken as a combo)
What show is she from?
Hey Jill, Goodluck with your writing. I myself am an aspiring author and I originally watched your channel for accuracy in armor and movement. Goodluck with your book once more!
I’m so happy you did sigvald. I suggested him a while ago so I enjoyed seeing your reaction.
I’m still working on that list 😂 I only do about 8 characters at a time and there were 50+ requests so I’m still getting to the bottom of it 😁
As it were.
50k words is a lot, Jill 👀
And yes! Next video up sooooon
(both Jill and me got pretty sick during the holidays, so sorry this is taking a bit long folks)
Sorry you got sick too!
I've already wished Jill well half-a-dozen times, and now it's your turn - hope you Get Well Soon!
I'm proud of you. I've had an idea to write a particular series for 20 years, and here you are slapping 153,000+ words into written form in the span of a month based on an inside joke series. They say not to compare progress to other people, but this is juggernaught-class levels of hard for me. Anywho, I'm proud of you, look forward to reading your book and rewatching your series, and raise my idiomatic glass to your continued success.
P.S. Yes, I'm jealous, but I'm trying my best to let it power my writing and not ruin my experiences. Go far! 😘
I'd really love to see Azula/Zuko from ATLA and Heather/Astrid/Hiccup from HTTYD in a future tier list.
Sigvald literally has a unit of foot soldiers holding mirror shields all facing him in combat so he can look at how sexy he is while fighting
Also, Sigvald would have no risk of tripping as he floats, so he wouldn't need to worry about tripping on his loincloth.
Yeah, his feet literally never touch the ground because he is TOO FABULOUS
A lot of issues raised on fantasy characters, especially of a magical persuasion, i am reminded of merch from Hello Future Me with the quote - "A wizard did it!" Love both channels!
That’s from xena in Simpsons
I’m so hyped by the idea of this book. I showed my wife the Fantasy Heroine short series and she’s super hyped for it too.
every time i get a new notification from your channel - 2:20 is going to replay in my mind. wedges of cheese, not combat wedges!😆
So happy to hear that you’re writing the book!! One piece of advice that helps me when I stare at the words I’ve written and wonder if I even have a basic grasp of the English language is that each draft of your work is like a coat of paint, and looking at another piece of writing (even your own), it can be easy to forget how many coats of paint are already there versus the one coat you’re putting down on your WIP. So excited to read it when it’s done!
i would not be surprised if the success of the shorts series boosts the book sales by insane numbers
I'm crossing my fingers one of the future adaptations of the book is going to be an audiobook- I couldn't fathom hearing any other voice but yours anyhow.
"One Crisis At a Time" is a great title! I look forward to purchasing a copy when it is done. The updated Just Stab Me Now to include Sexy Eejit is wonderful! Glad you are feeling better. Happy writing!
Jill, I'm going through a terrible time in life at the moment, and your uploads are always such a boon to my heart. I want to sincerely thank you.
We need a "Looks fussy" Tier now
&/Or a "sneezed/shrugged and now I'm dead" one!
@@helenl3193
Ah, the infamous pauldrons of self decapitation.
Congratulations on 50k words! That's an achievement!
For comparison, me not taking an entire holiday break to write and holding down a full time job and home-ownership on my own, took about 3 years to get just over 30k words. I'm definitely hashtag jealous.
Welcome back Jill! Missed the videos and I'm so excited for more book info! Hubby and I will be waiting with baited breath. Hope you feel even better soon! ....and I'm getting me one of those aprons....I'm a leather craftsman and I need this. Stabbing myself with needles and skiving knives is a too common occurrence. Hehe
I would love to see Jill or a Jill influenced character in some show or anime seeing the protagonist wearing some just stab me now armour and saying "honey..." and actually schooling them and making them upgrade their armour to something useful.
Love these vids. I constantly keep in the back of my mind your points about armor when I design characters for my comic now, and imagining what you'd say about the armor (or Not Actually Armor in some cases) helps.
The irony of Maple from Bofuri; stabbing her does, at best, 1hp of damage
Step 1: Grapple
Step 2: Find the nearest well.
@@Karak-_-
Step 0: Make sure she hasn't used 1 of her many skills that will ruin the day of anyone who tries to grapple her...
@@bbb2304-b4e True, that's something I should have expected.
So, if I can't throw her in well, it will have to go the other way around.
@@Karak-_- Maple may also be part sea monster now, so I don't think you can drown her.
@@Karak-_- throw a well at her?
Bit of context, Sigval's patroen Gid is Slaneesh, The God of Unspeakable Excess, so take anything that give you ANY form of pleasure, and Slaneesh turns it into NIGHTMARE FUEL, by taking it to the most extreme possible extent, in closing, very bad time
A video could be done ranking Maples other armour/ outfits alone. Jill’s response to the machine god would be interesting!
Is that the GP-03 Dendrobium-esque form?
@@Echo_419 It is the one with A LOT of guns... so yes???
Had to go run across the apartment to tell my room mate (who I got into the fantasy heroine series) about the book! We’re both very excited and can’t wait to hear more. As a fellow writer, I wish you the best!
I feel like it would be brilliant to have a mood indicator on my desk that I can toggle between "Pretty Good", "Could Be Worse", and "Just Stab Me Now" 😄 Love these vids!
That would be excellent!
A character whose armour I kinda love the design of but also infuriates me is Aranea Highwind from Final Fantasy XV. Her shoulder armour has stabby things that would stab her in the face if she raises her arms but she looks so cool
Just a thought...
If you ever consider going the graphic novel approach, you should have a conversation with Shad, since he is currently having his book turned into a graphic novel. It could be very insightful.
Admittedly, I also would be grinning from ear-to-ear at the idea of the two of you doing a co-lab video...😁
Been struggling against a chest infection and sinus infection, and your videos have been making me feel better
YAAAAY
Tier list!
BOOYAH!
Wait, was I first too?
Suck it everyone else!
More worrying than bare arms on Sigvald, are the bare fingers on the sword hand.
I'm happy to see some Warhammer Fantasy stuff!! Thank you! Also I hope you get well soon.
Well done on the word count!
I got a ‘Just stab me now’ hoodie for xmas and i love it, so soft
I started the video thinking "We need some 'Could Be Worse' merch, that is a great font and could be worse is definitely the most positive thought I can have first thing in the morning", and then, wait 8 minutes, and Jill retroactively reads my mind and pushes it. Way to go!
“It’s so stupid that I love it” sums up my feelings about Warhammer perfectly!
OOOOH!! I can’t believe you’re making it a book, that’s amazing!!
Maple's armour is what her in-game character wears. She's put 100% of her points into her defence stat, so she could be wearing literal tissue paper and her defence would likely still be higher than a guy in full plate armour. It basically takes an orbital laser to even hurt her, which makes her placement on this list even funnier.
Also, she is about as slow as you'd expect from a girl holding a massive tower shield, since she didn't put any points into speed. She gets around it by getting a piggyback ride from her friend, or by using a skill that lets her teleport.
@@benjaminlee985 Also, she can use the shield two handed since it eats people.
Or transform into Machine god and autrosity
Or her giant flying turtle syrup
Oh, absolutely true. The deficiencies of her armor, the way it slows her down, the ways it leaves openings, utterly irrelevant due to her game build. But this is a rating system for her armor as armor, so... yep, just stab me now. But it's Maple so stabbing her isn't going to do much!
All due credit to the writers. They're probably well aware of how bad the armor is as actual armor, and are lampshading the general video game RPG aesthetic. Isn't it actually meant to be an offensive-based set? Can't remember the context she actually earned it in.
@@themorebeer3072 Maple's armor mostly just boosts her defense stat, what makes that set in particular really good is it's self-repair function, because every time it breaks it grows back stronger, and considering her machine-god form breaks items when it activates and (I think) bases it's damage on the stats of the item consumed, it gets really bonkers really fast. The context for acquiring it was being the first to solo-clear the poison dragon dungeon, so she got some really strong skills (hydra, paralyzing shout, and devour), a suit of armor with self-repair, a shield with an empty skill slot, and a short sword with 2 empty skill slots, she put devour into the shield and hydra and paralyzing shout into the short sword.
You're conquering the book form of Rosamund's adventures & sass? Amazing--well done! (Having written two books, I agree: writing a book is hard.)
Now I want Jill to react to Sigvald's model, if she thought the art was over the top...
I did not know you were going to write a novel, wow!! I’m excited to see how you will conquer the format change, especially because with TH-cam shorts and stuff there’s a higher suspension of belief and it’s much easier to have the characters talk to each other. Also I absolutely love the idea of a book within a book!!! Hehehe
"Just stab me now" and "could be worse" are huge contenders for new mug purchases ...
buy both, Jill will be more happy then.
I'm more interested in a 'Could Be Worse' apron. :evilgrin:
I could definitely add a could be worse mug to the office set.
Get them all and use to critique work days/meetings..?
@@helenl3193 considering my tradition of pre-meeting tea making; that sounds very amusing!
4:40 I cooked Christmas dinner by myself for my mother and I and I figured out when I needed to put stuff in the oven, on the stove, etc and wrote it out in chronological order.
I don't know much about warhammer but for sarah kerrigan it looks to me like they were trying to mix digitigrade feet (like kangaroos and a lot of dinosaurs) with something that could look like armor so yes usually high heels are impractical but if your body is now formed to be designed to walk on your toes and not flat footed, it....kind of makes sense.
That is still a massive stretch tho. XD
Thank you! I smile as soon as I see you put up a video. I know I’m going to get good laugh and some witty epigrams. A real day brightner!
For Kerrigan: she was a sniper/spy as a human and when she was captured to get turned into that she was wearing a skintight sneaksuit with wedge heels for... I dunno, reasons. I've always just assumed the Zerg didn't know the difference between people and clothing and so grew her heels because as far as they could see her body had heels.
For Sigvald: he is literally a Sexy Eejit. His shield has a mirror on the back of it and there's actually rules in game that you have to check every turn to see if he gets distracted looking at himself and how beautiful he is and forgets to fight for a minute. Also, his God is the God of (among other things) "extreme sensation" so he probably isn't wearing anything under those mail undies, and every reason you're thinking of for why that's a horrible idea he almost certainly sees as a positive.
To further on Kerrigan, at least from my own mind. High Heels were used by butchers to not slip on bloody surfaces. Which in universe...yeah that fits perfectly for the amount of bodies she drops. Aside from that, its totally a dude that thought high heels will totally complete this look.
I've only played the campaigns twice, but I feel like knowing what is biological is something the Zerg are uniquely qualified for
@@Violaphobia for most of human history rubber came from trees, and human heads are covered in extruded non-living tissue (hair). There's no reason the Zerg, without context, wouldn't interpret Kerrigan's sneak suit as some kind of grown exoskeleton just of a different material from her hair.
Human ghost Kerrigan in SC1 is in flats, and same with WoL intro trailer and art that I can see. The suit comes with a breastplate, armor plates and sabatons. Upper leg armor is clearly for suckers.
Infested Kerrigan looks like her armor has been damaged and starts to get absorbed by her carapace. Her armor is actually higher as a ghost than infested. Maybe between capture and evolving it's damaged. As carapace upgrades come they take over.
Queen of blades Kerrigan looks like that armor has been either complete absorbed or replaced by just carapace. And that's where the heels come in.
Deinfested Kerrigan sticking with the heels, which may still reflect her feet.
Thanks!
Thank you! (very late, but thank you)
A man goes into battle wearing that armour, people know he's not afraid of _anything_. (wrt Sigvald the magnificent).
the light at the end of the book writing is that Jill gets to choose/commission a *BOOK COVER* illustration!
Very excited about the book!
Have to admit missing having a bit of jill bearup shorts as part of my weekly routine. But the story has made a good pause/end.
Fluff Engagement:
Maple's character is a virtual character in a MMORPG. The armor look is supposed to be more for aesthetics and stat bonuses vs. actually being one-to-one for protection. Maple's character actually has so much 'vitality' that in one episode a morning star bounces off her un-helmeted head, barely even making Maple notice it.
All that said, and who really cares, right? 'Cause that's not the point of the reviews. Its the fun. :) And I enjoy every single one! :)
Thank you for making me laugh today! It was such fun to watch you dress down the various characters' armor. I hope you are feeling better!
I'm so buying that book even if the travel fee is double the book price
As a neurologist I am usually carry around my reflex hammer upside down in my lab coat and sometimes when I forget about it and bend down to pick something up I nearly impale myself with its pointy end. I feel your comments about pointy metal things close to the body and not being able to bend on a personal level.
for the second one : she's playing a videogame, so the diegetic explanation IS that somebody designed this terrible armor just for the look
Except worse, based on the game, and how the armor was acquired (it is unique for being the first person to accomplish a specific feat from a set list, a few other characters in the book have pulled of the same for a different item on the list, and seems to be customized to Mapel by the game system), it was probably AI designed.
@@sjmcc13 Nah, AI ain't that stupid.
These armor tier videos give me such a laugh, especially the phrasing that get used. I did get to use the Just Stab Me Now phrase recently.
I would probably buy the book too. Keep 'er moving, Jill. 🤺
1:16 Kerrigan isn't wearing anything. The armor wasn't grown on her - that's just her including the heels (think dragon feet). She routinely tears city-block sized warships out of orbit with her mind.
8:10 Sigvald is a humping-obsessed champion of the demonic god of excess. It's honestly bizarre that he has armor or a shield. Also, he likes healthy breeze down there and so doesn't have crotch protection under the cloth. Despite this he can duel almost anything into the dirt.
Sigvald is the sort to enjoy the chafing...
Kerrigan's aesthetic is based on her skintight stealth suit, which I think also had heels. Edit: I can't actually prove that statement because most of what I'm finding on the original kerrigan is fan art. So much fan art.
@@RecklessFables I don't think the ghost suit had heels, but she was mostly drawn in kneeling poses or stepping poses on inclined surfaces that provided a heel-like effect iirc.
I don't know where I have the original starcraft manual, probably still in a moving box in the garage.
This video was vastly entertaining! I got a good laugh out of your comments on Sigvald lol especially the Lucius Malfoy comment hehe that's exactly who I was thinking of when I first saw the picture. 😂
Also another bit of hilarity... at 10:55 I literally had a moment of "wait, who is Henry??" only to go : facepalm ohhhh he's the 🔥Hot Editor🔥
So apparently I just refer to him like that in my head and didn't remember his actual name 🤣
Get Well Soon
54,000 words is a legendary effort, good job!
So, Greek Hoplites went with “big shield, armor on forearms and legs, and some sort of cuirass,” making Tower Shield Girl’s decision reasonably justified.
I was looking to see if someone had commented this as it was my first thought - as the Greeks showed, there's a good argument that if you can shield your body, the most imporant areas to armour are the extremities. Hell, while the historical Spartans didn't wear the 300 outfits, it wouldn't have been as bad as people might think. A phalanx of shields, with armoured heads, arms and feet poking out is a soild wall of metal no matter what the hoplites are wearing elsewhere, and wielding the spear overarm still allows for offense.
That said, thinking more about it, unlike Maple, Hoplites armoured their heads - the most vulnerable of areas not covered by the shield - and, arguably most importantly, fought in formation, allowing them to partially cover the men beside them with their shields and making it unlikely that they're going to be attacked from a direction they can't use the shield. So, while I'm not sure that Maple's armour is quite in the Stab Me Now category, it's definitely flawed from a protective aspect.
Have you seen any original depiction or description of hoplites wearing any armour on the forearms? I'm not calling you out, it's just that I never saw anything like that, and after searching right now I failed finding any source.
Being familiar Sigvald makes her take on him absolutely magnificent
What annoys me most about the Kerrigan high heel is that in the first art, it was not a high heel, it was a backwards-facing talon that she was standing on to simulate a high heel in a single posed shot and then all the later artists turned her feet into solid chitin high-heeled boots. Male gaze did my girl Sarah dirty.
Male gaze aint a thing chief, and lesbians exist too.
@@superslash7254 And lesbians don't like it! It's for the male gaze, because onlyva certain kind of men look at that and feel anything but mild disgust. Lesbians actually like women... Not like, blow up sex dolls disguised as women.
Source: Am Lesbian who knows many lesbians who specifically play SC2 and hate Kerrigans design.
@@superslash7254 I feel sorry for you.
@@RvEijndhoven Really? I don't think about you at all. Here's a protip to help you be a less terrible human being: Anytime you want to say something about a group of people because of how they were born replace the group you're denigrating with "blacks" or "jews". Maybe that will help you grow at least a fraction of a conscience.
@@superslash7254 It saddens me how you're just repeating something someone else said to you and think that you're scoring points, when really you're just highlighting how much you didn't understand the point they were making.
Have you watched any of the Arrows vs Armor videos from Tod’s Workshop? He did one a few years ago, but has since produced a series expanding the types of tests and equipment. It’s interesting that a mail shirt is almost useless vs. an arrow, but plate shatters and deflects them quite well, when the plate is properly shaped.
The longbow archer in the series says he can shoot a 160 draw weight longbow for hours, but a 200 pound draw will leave him ‘knackered’ after 4 shots. Lots of female fantasy characters use bows as if that’s somehow less demanding than melee, but if you look at Joe’s build, it’s clearly not any easier to draw a heavy longbow than to swing something like a mace.
Interesting point about Maple's armor, this is inside of a video game, so weight really isn't an issue. I do agree with the rest of it, though I'm surprised you didn't mention that she's not wearing high heels.
(Also, if you're into anime, Bofuri is one of those low-stakes, feel good shows that's just fun to watch.)