Your ASSUMPTIONS About Real Life in France | French People, French Culture, French Stereotypes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ส.ค. 2024
- Your ASSUMPTIONS About Real Life in France | French People, French Culture,
French Stereotypes
So I asked on Instagram what assumptions you guys had about french culture...and you guys had a LOT to say!! Check out my thoughts on your assumptions and what life in France is really like as an American expat living here.
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what other assumptions do you guys have about life in france? let me know!
Cupcake too fattening 😂 what about the millefeuille
French women are not wearing a lot of makeup, they likes to look more natural, what do you think?
@@isabellemars2527 Well, it depends on the person. Id say that my mothers generation wore very classy makeup (she is now in her 60´s). Nowadays it’s extremely vulgar: they are influenced by social media. But some girls have great skills when it comes to make up though. Natural make up is a thing too.
@@CleopatraTelevision thank you for ur comment🙏🏾
Tiffany, have you visited Brittany?
As a French person watching this, I just want to add my grain of salt to the "the French are rude" stereotype... It's something we hear A LOT and it's starting to get on my nerves a bit because you can't judge French politeness by (US)American standards!
First of, Paris is not all of France. Even us French agree that parisians can be a bit rude sometimes, because everyone in Paris is always stressed-out and in a rush and it shows. (Also when you deal with half a million tourists every day you tend to lose a bit of your patience for their (understandable, unavoidable, but ultimately irritating) cluture-shock-derived faux pas.)
BUT. Generally speaking. As Tiffanie very well said, we're a bit more reserved and we don't go out of our way to smile and be outgoing towards strangers, it's just not in our culture. Actually, acting that way can even be seen as rude, because it feels like you're being a hypocrite! Our brand of politeness is more of an etiquette than "general friendliness" : it's saying hello before talking to someone, and please and thank you afterwards, it's giving your seat in the subway to the old lady who came in, it's being quiet in public spaces so as not to bother others, not taking up others' time if you haven't clearly been invited to do so. Idk about how it is in the USA but here "nice" and "polite" are very different things.
And let me just inform you all that a French stereotype about the (US)Americans is... you guessed it, that they're rude. Because they will not say bonjour, but they will try to make small-talk when you have other things to do, make comments about things that don't concern them (even nice comments, yes), talk loudly, laugh loudly, not adhere to meal etiquette, be "hypocritically"-friendly, and so on and so forth. It's just different standards.
That being said, yes, we do love our tourists and other foreigners
Agreed
Exactement !
Parfaitement expliqué :)
Oui
Vraiment très bien expliqué !
When I hear the stereotype that French people are lazy because we take more days off and more holidays and have shorter work hours etc I find it ridiculous that enjoying your life and your free time is associated with laziness. Your life isn’t your job, you don’t have to be working or be productive all of the time. The people who say that are probably so used to being overworked they think it’s perfectly normal. Only a small handful of people have a really fulfilling job that fully aligns with their passions and their values and doesn’t take a toll on their personal life. You need a healthy balance between work and free time to take care of yourself, and even in France most people don’t have that healthy balance. In my opinion, making your life all about work means you’re failing at life. Work to live but do not live to work.
Without seeing that wages are high. We prefer to earn less to enjoy more😊
We don't live for working
Japanese : work 42h per week, productive.
French : work 35h per week, with many vacations, even more productive than Japanese
Taking a break makes you able to do better
Another thing is that (and I was very surprised by that) French people are more productive than American people. There is a huge separation between work (where you put a lot of energy in it, get depressed and stressed) and free time (where you can get fulfilled). And even if, nowadays, French people try to combine both, free time is really about a necessity to breath (even more than a right).
As a French, that's what I think.
Oh yeah, we built one of the most developped and powerfull country in the world till more than a thousand years thanks to lazyness, that's OBVIOUS ahah ! This is just a stupid, and probably jealous thought. Oh and another think, a lot of people here are working during their days off, you know, do it yourself works in the house, the garden, or even doing sports, or hobby works, and it is all about physical and will effort. We're not lying in the sofa watching TV, eating junk food and getting fat as much as some people may think.
And yeah, Urban life in Paris is not significant to life in the rest of the country. We get up early, we work outside, whether it's hot or cold, and we're proud people.
Tu peux pas nier que la plupart des français sont quand même de beaux branlots, particulièrement dans l’administration et les services publics
The "they're rude if you speak in English" is so funny to me. Imagine me a French woman going to the states and asking help from people in French.. Now imagine if it happened all the times, I'm sure Americans will start to think French people are rude not to put any effort to learn at least some basics before coming to the US
Furthermore, it's the fact that Americans and tourist in general, Chinese and Asians are the exception, expect us to speak English, to immediately comply to then and then if you don't they'll get mad. If you add the French that just don't speak English, because let's be honest how many Americans can fluently speak 2 languages, you just have angry tourist that expect us to adapt to them
Yeah, I think it's just arrogance from the americans, they expect everyone to speak english, and act like them... why would you go abroad if you want everyone to actlike an american? ^^'
@@krankarvolund7771 well I don't think it is weird to expect everyone to speak English when you travel... I am French and when I went to Croatia and Slovenia, I spoke in English , without making sure they even spoke English because I assumed they just did.
@@perthfanny3017 I don't know, I would ask first at least ^^
@@krankarvolund7771 yes you should definitely ask but my point was that sometimes when you are traveling it is just natural to speak in English right away!
Being french, I know the big difference between frenchs and americans about friendship. To make it fast, we're coconuts, and you're apricots. WIth an apricot, you can go through the fist layers easily but at the end you reach the stone and then, it's almost impossible to go deeper. As a coconut, it's hard to get through the skin but once it's done, you'll go right in the heart.
Actually the traditional comparison is between coconuts and peaches but it’s working with apricots too... ;)
Same in Spain and lot of European countries. My husband is American and first year was not easy because I said things the way they were but for him I was rude, but I notice he pretended a lot just to be ok with me. Europe and US very different in a lot of things
You forgot to mention that that coconut shell is EXTRA thiccccc.
Funny analogy
Exactly ! I tend not to trust people easily. I will always be polite to you and smile, but don't go near my business if i don't know you.
But, once we start spending time together, i open up very easily and get attached quickly if you're someone i enjoy being with ! ☺
Hi, I’m French and I’ve been exposed to several cultures due to work.
About being rude, I’d say actually French culture has very strict rules regarding politeness and if you don’t follow those rules... that’s disrespectful and the person in front of you will make you feel uncomfortable for it.
Basically the French mentality is: if you don’t show me respect, I won’t either.
The funny thing is we are not really aware that foreigners have different ways to express politeness so... everyone is expected to follow the same level of respect (doesn’t matter if you’re a customer).
If you come to France and want to avoid this, I suggest always saying « hello » or « bonjour » first. That’s actually the first thing we learn as a kid along with please and thank you. We basically say bonjour to any person we interact with (in a store, to the cashier, when you ask for direction in the street, to the waiter etc.).
And as you said in the video if you simply ask « do you speak English? » after hello, French people will actually LOVE you !
Oh and we wear deodorant... 😐
Oh and we take shower everyday for most of us :p
French here who grew up abroad, I learned the hard way that indeed, you shall always start any interaction with somebody whoever that is with a "Bonjour". The situations I got myself into because of that were nearly shocking to me... facing absolute coldness, like if I had insulted their kids and mother haha. If only they'd take "hey" as bonjour but since it's a short street/casual version of it, people feel disrespected like you don't have enough respect for them to actually greet them the true french way. Annoying to be frank.
Australian, lived in Paris for 20 years. The mistake many Americans make is to bring the bubble of their own culture with them, along with all its stereotypes and prejudices, when they come to France. They then interpret everything and each interaction through this matrix of stereotypes and cast themselves as a victim of poor service, rudeness or some other imagined offence. News flash: your failure to make any effort to prepare and understand social norms before you arrive is, guess what: rude and grating on people. If you are willing to take the time, effort and expense of visiting another country, you can take a couple of days to understand the key social expectations and make an effort to adapt. Not only will you enjoy yourself far more, you will also dramatically improve the reputation of your countrymen.
living in Bali for almost 2 years I can say the same about many Australians here. A lot of them remind me of badly behaved Americans. Also...when I spent over a month in France walking the camino, I met an Aussie woman who could not stop complaining about the "rude French". I was like what are you talking about I love these people! Come to find out she's walked the Camino SEVEN times and still complains about the French. I realized the issue was largely hers, not the French.
@@erinmh Good point. Destinations are a key ‘filter’ for the type of travelers they attract: Bali, especially Kuta, to many Australians is like Cancun to Americans: a sort of brain-dead-Vegas destination for debauchery. Hence, the worst of Australian travelers congregate in PARTS of Bali. I don’t find that element of Australians often in Paris.
And someone needs to tell your Camino lady that if she is looking for spiritual enlightenment on the pilgrimage, and she’s completed it 7 times, she’s doing it wrong!
@@lours6993 Kuta does have a bad rep, that's for sure. I try like hell to smash the American stereotype (which unfortunately, is rooted in a lot of truth) wherever I go. I've learned quite a bit of Indonesian and make huge efforts in supporting local businesses. I actually have way better conversations with Indonesians and Balinese, to be honest. I also tend to avoid "my people" when traveling...or at least keep a wide berth until I've vetted them out thoroughly, lol. I sincerely wish the US valued the gap year like Aussies and NZ'ers do. Probably would do us a lot of good. And yes, that camino lady was something else!
I think it's what happens in any country you go to. You shouldn't forget that you are the foreigner, so people wont break their back for you. (but they can put in some effort however)
French here born in France, grew up abroad, then came back at 24. Now 31. I think you're saying it in a harsh way, but overall you're correct. What I'd like to point out is that the French are also very very bad at "moving to new cultures" for exactly the same reasons. It's work and effort I do with sincerity since I'm used to moving around and feeling thankful for being accepted and hosted by new cultures, but when I meet french peers abroad, they're in their cultural and stereotype bubbles and frankly I avoid them. I certainly don't move around to meet more French, they're best in their natural habitat haha.
I think French people sometimes come across as rude because their sense of humour is very sarcastic (what they call second degree). This comes across as rude by anyone who doesn't share that sense of humour, but they really don't mean it that way. That's my experience anyway :)
spot on lmao
Also french people tend to be more on the "respectfully distant" side than people from the US.
Starting a conversation with someone at the bus stop is a bit strange in france while in many other country it's ok
Which I find hilarious because I'm from NZ and we're pretty sarcastic too... so speaking French here in France I tend to play along with the sarcasm and boy do they not like that. It's like they can give the sarcasm but not take it back. Whereas at home, if you can't take what you give, that really doesn't fly.
@@victoriaa2281 as a French, spot, the fuck, on. People are... Passionate so, they have a lot sarcasm to give, but interestingly enough, they take it for themselves if it hit a soft spot somehow lmaooo
@@axelbreheret2758 yeah y'all are soft I'm sorry 🤣
My husband and I are very introverted and found the not overly-friendly attitude really refreshing when we visited Paris! It gave us permission to just go about our business without having to pretend to be extroverted!
Haha, that's awesome! I hope you had a good trip :)
👍👍👍
Speaking of assumption: Not everyone speaks English in France. Sometimes, people don't answer because they don't understand... aND SPEAKING EVEN LOUDER is NOT helping.
Also from someone who worked in food business, the way US people think they got an indentured servant instead of a waiter when they sit at a restaurant is not making them my best best friend, trust me.
I guess it is like assuming people from Brooklyn represent all Americans, when Southerners are the friendliest and Californians and Hawaiians are “no worries” types of people. Of course, O am generalizing.
That would make sense if the restaurant is self service.
I work for a US airline in Spain (as a check-in agent) and most of them don't act as entitled people. They are nice and well behaved. Nicer than many locals...
In US if you serve well you get more tips so a bigger wage. It pushes them to be the perfect waiter. They forgot it's not the case in France and have no idea how much you're paid in most restaurants. Also I feel like they have more waiter per table than here in France.
@@2livenoob Our waiters have a decent salary to start with, they don't need to beg customers for money. This makes a huge difference.
They're here to serve food, period. Not to pretend to be your friend or your slave. You have no power over them : they don't need your tips, and you can't get them fired. If you're rude with them, or treat them like they're inferior to you, they'll be rude to you. Or even refuse to serve you. In France, customers are just customers. Not kings.
And again, if that doesn't suit your tastes, just don't come. It's not like you were invited anyway.
As a french person, I really don't understand where the "doesn't wear deodorant" thing comes from. Personnaly, I don't know anyone who doesn't/never wears deodorant here....
Because as french people, we don't sweat. It's with the whole romantic personna. Goes with bread inspiring a tear made of wine and poetry.
It comes from WW2, americans landed in a destroyed occupied country where soap deodorant or perfum just wasn't available to the average person, it has been amplfied and repeated like other demeaning stereotypes because americans and english hate the french with a passion because we don't suck up to them like other western nations.
Same, I never met people who don't use deodorant, except a few neckbeards.
Hi, I'm a french person and I don't use deodorant ! :-) Most people around me don't use it either.
Also, I feel like a clean person and I care about people being comfortable with what they smell.
@@Faardrill tu n'utilise pas de déodorant mais est ce que tu sens mauvais ? Parce que y en a certains eux même si ils transpirent ils pue pas
Interestingly enough when I was in Paris and South of France, in my solo travel, none of the French ppl I interacted with were rude or unapproachable at all. I will say hello in French and ask if they don't mind speaking with me in English instead of my broken French and they were wonderful and kind about it. In fact few times, they will literally take me to where I needed to go by walking with me, lol.
Omg I used to see you everywhere in comment sections !!
I'm French and I think that assumption come from the fact that we are shy about our English skill and that politeness is an important fact if you don't say "Bonjour Please Merci" if you ask somebody something then we tend to be aggressive and rude but if you say those polite word then most of French people would do anything to help. (It's my way of thinking as a French)
We also like it if you at least try talking in french, not a lot, we don't ask you to make complete sentences but if you say Bonjour, Merci and Au Revoir, we are more likely to go out of our way to help you
Après c'est sur sa dépend aussi des endroits en France les mentalités sont différentes partout
we are very introverted
In terms of Americans thinking the French aren't friendly going so far as to think them rude is to not understand the French are by national temperament a much more formal people than we here in the States. They believe in a strict set of public behavior along with the rules that govern interpersonal manners. For instance if you walk into a US shop/boutique and the salesperson is working with another customer, more often than not the salesperson will turn to you to let you know they will be right with you. In France this is not done. Not because they're rude or have assumed you're American and therefore are purposely ignoring you, but because they consider it rude to turn away from their current customer/client. For the French personal interactions and relationships are tres important. Thus the French have no problem quietly wait their turn. Knowing when the salesperson is available they in turn will get their undivided attention. Another example is when you enter a shop or boutique. In the US you may or may not offer a greeting of hello to the salesperson/people. In France it's customary and expected to immediately, provided the salesperson isn't engaged with another customer, to offer a greeting, in French please, "Bonjour." It's polite and it's respectful. You'll find if you do, you'll get much better service.
Thank you for this post. I was ignorant about these french cultural norms. I now understand them, and quite like them! Learning across cultures is foster understanding, peacefulness, and goodwill for all, and within oneself!
Bonjour is mandatory across the board in france.
It's never optional to greet someone you interact with the first time you meet them this day. No matter what is your relationship with them.
You are right and the reason is simple. Even if you are a customer in a shop, the salesperson is here to help and serve you, but she is not your maid, your dog or your slave. You have not an higher status because you're the customer. You are equal. So saying "Bonjour" is the proof that you respect the other person. And when it's your turn to work and serve a customer, it's also true. The customer must respect you. We consider that we are all a customer sometime and the salesperson on other time, so it's polite to always respect each other. And it's more pleasant for everyone.
It's not better or worst than other rule, or other habits, it's our habits. Of course you will be always able to encounter few french people that don't do that.
French people also have amnesia when it comes to talking to new people and making friends. A majority of them will talk to you today and act as if you've NEVER met tomorrow.
@@TheLastEgg08 Perhaps that's true. And perhaps I didn't truly understand what you mean, so sorry if that's the case. Perhaps you also didn't have chance and meet the "wrong" people like there is all around the world. I don't know what you have seen.
For me the truth is not that they forget you but it's not because you met one day that you are friend. There no obligation to be friend because you had a polite chat one day. There nothing bad to admit that you can't share friendship with everyone. Generally being friend take some time to know the other and having things in common between the two person.
One thing that isn't really mentioned here is that french peoples are taught to be critical, give feedback and accept it very early.
It leads to people complaining more easily, being kinda brutally honest compared to other cultures.
Also french humor can be very strange for people not used to it.
In france work is in service of your life not the other way around.
For fashion, usually people wear something convenient, as an everyday thing, and dress up on occasion.
You can have some fancy clothes all the times if your budget, and everyday environment allows you to.
I'd say fashion is more in the subtle things for everyday.
If you count fruit and yogurt as dessert, a lot of french people eat dessert almost every meal.
In france mealtimes are quite fixed, and meal are supposed to last around half an hour and to be taken sitting (with your family for dinner as an example). It limits how hungry you get between meals and leads to less snacking which means you get less fat.
And the portions are A LOT smaller
@@elizabethseminario7203 by calorie count not that much. (The national average is 4200kcal daily in the us an 3600kcal in france, to put into perspective most of asia is around 2600 iirc)
I agree with everything but the: "give feedback and accept it", the words that don't make sense here are "accept it", I've lived in France for years and you're comfortable with giving the critique and the rude joke but will never take it when it's done to you..
@@TheLastEgg08 Maried to a french man, been living here for 5 years and my grandma was french. I don't think that's true. Jokes are often taken as jokes, among all communities in France. Younger folk tend to be more sensitive about it tho lately. Teasing friends and family is very common. Being teased too. It's essentialy "taking the piss out of each other", I think the british would say. Getting a sly remark with the little spark in the eye often means people like you. Getting back to them and being sassy on the spot is even better. "Qui bene amat bene castigat". The issue, with language barriers, and cultural ones, is making the difference between people being plain rude, being friendly trough teasing, or just telling it as it is in the very common blunt fashion that nobody would see as an issue here.
Now debates, serious ones, that's another matter. They are comfortable changing stance, you just need to work a lot to achieve that. They will put arguments and ideas to the test of it's limits. It's a "I'm right until proven wrong. And the proof better be solid" kind of thing. It can be annoying sometimes, true, but it also makes for interesting interactions and ideas.
@@TheLastEgg08 there are differences between giving feedback and joking. If the feedback helps us improve or change our perspective on something, of course we accept it. And if we have to be rude for someone to understand and accept that they're wrong and why they are, then we don't hesitate to be rude. Not all the times of course. Joking is totally another matter and it depends only on who you're joking with.
Politeness is different across cultures. Smiling without thinking it seriously in France would scare everyone, like you're a Jehovah's witness or something ahah. French people can be as smiling as Americans but that would mean they have a crush on you or something. I've seen the opposite (French people meeting Americans, thinking they made a friend for life and feeling cheated when realising afterwards that they were just being polite and "we should meet sometime" was just pleasantries and not a serious invitation
US-American are finding French rude, and French are finding US-American rude for the same reason: what it is considered as "polite" is completely different abroad.
For example, it is common for US-American to be overly cheerful and friendly to make your host confortable, but this would be seen as deceitful by the French where "self-control" and "formal etiquette" are very important. For the french, being overly friendly for no apparent reason is rude: they don't know you yet, so why pretending to be already a friend? For the French, you're the hypocrite!
Friendship is a various thing. A friend is for lifetime, if not, it is just acquaintance.
I believe French are seen cold, because being cold are what they learn to be polite. But they can be cold (because polite) but listening/careful, which quite odd to comprehend for US American. What are normal for the French seems really hypocritical: it is a self-control thing, and their formal etiquette is seen rude. Their conception of politeness is the complete opposite from abroad.
@@Clemehl very well explained
@@Clemehl Having lived in the US, I didn't see that as deceitful because, let's be honest : it's not particularly subtile, so it's obvious that it's just another type of politeness. But I did find it uncanny and a bit creepy at times. It certainly didn't make me confortable.
About the "fast metabolism" : most of us are encouraged to do some kind of sport from childhood. Also, snacking isn't really a thing, most families take a homemade dinner all together every night. Children usually take a snack around 4pm but there is no snacking all day long. So I think that is a huge part of us being thinner (or at least healthier). However not everyone in France is thin, we also struggle with obesity!
There is obesity in France, but not as much as in the US and not as extreme.
In France, the food laws are indeed different. They are not perfect, but for example hormones treated beef is illegal in France. If it makes the beef bigger, it could make people bigger.
@@sparhawk26 we still have lot of food with hormones in. There is not only beef with hormones 😂
Well obviously, every country struggle with obesity but France obesity isn’t as severe as other countries
6:06 I, a sarcasm-loving Frenchman, still remember vividly that time I traumatized a poor American dude at a party because he wanted EVERYONE to act psyched, and EVERYONE played along, EVERYONE EXCEPT MEEEEEE. I can still feel the despair in his eyes. Those eyes that were saying "why aren't psyyyyyched maaaaaaaan WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY".
Why ? Parce que j'en ai juste pas envie, dugenou, laisse-moi tranquille dans mon coin ! Allez, va jouer sur l'autoroute !
"dugenou" mdrr j'avais pas entendu ça depuis looongtemps
Dugenou je ne savais même pas que ça s'écrivait tout attaché.. 😂
Hi Tiff, being French Carribean an therefore in someway at least, the product of French history of colonialism and slavery, trust me we are not shy about our critics when it comes to some of our mainland French counterparts(and some yes can be very arrogant), however hearing Americans somehow just paint every french person with the same brush is painfully irratating, especially the « they hate americans part ».
I have met some of the nicest and most warm and welcoming people here in mainland France (even in Paris😉👌🏾) they’re not rude, as Tiffany very well explained there’s some real cultural differences and I couldn’t say what I prefer because it’s very true that in America people smile more, small talk is no issue and the customer service is on point (no arguing about that), but it rarely go deeper than the small and polite convos with Americans, were in France once you make friend you basically have a friend for life that gona be there for you if need be.
When it comes to « french people hate americans » what’s kinda bugging me out is the fact that I’ve withness Americans using « you look French » almost as an insult, I’ve seen TV clips of people bashing everything french, basically propaganda to make us look bad (cowards, surrenderer, effeminate...) and somehow in this equation we are the haters because some Parisian were cold to you in the metro. This narrative just sounds very weird to me. But I still appreciate you Tiff so keep up the good work !!
Le même en français merci D'AVANCE
Sameee I've met some of the nicest people here! Ahhh I' so sorry to hear that they say that as an insult! SMH, hope this video helps change the narrative :)
Americans on TV are different from the ones in real life. As a whole, Americans are obsessed with France (Paris) and the culture from the 60s.
@@lavinder11 i think it's because france dared leave NATO in the 60s and refused to intervene in iraq in 2003. After this date, the french bashing starts
@@ahouais5620 When I see the harm that has been done to Iraq, I am proud that our government refused to participate in this
The 30-40% less salaries are largely compensated by the better healthcare in France. No one stays health forever. Compare the cost of living as a sick elderly person in the US and in France, that's where the French are in a better spot.
Offering cupcakes to French people probably won’t ever be a success. They look gorgeous but compared to french pastries you can get anywhere in France they just taste like sugar and not much else. I have yet to meet to this day a French person who likes cupcakes (taste wise)
ahah so true, it's first think i've though when she talked about "cupcake" ! a croissant ? yes better :p
Well cupcakes are really a bland cake with a nice icing, pretty much everything is better XD
I'm not french and i don't like cupcakes...i don't eat cupcakes...i don't ever think about cupcakes...the craze in the usa for them has passed...sort of like quiche lorraine. Once it was on every menu, people talked about it, tried to make them. Now, not so much.
@@brucemarsico6 Yeah but quiche lorraine is very good :p
Well i love cupcakes but i'm also British so i may be cheating a bit here
6:40 As a French person who has lived in the US, I remember feeling relly uncomfortable with people trying to appear friendly. It often came off as fake and was unwanted on my part. I would also very often not be left alone - although I am an extremely bubbly, if not downright noisy person, I am very much an introvert, and people just didn't seem to ever leave me alone. Like, needing space was interpreted as something being wrong with me. In France, if you ask someone to leave you alone, they often back away immediately (unless they're a jerk, but those are everywhere lol). There are some downsides to this, but overall, I think it's one of the main reasons I prefer France over the US to live in.
About the 'being rude' part - I get why it comes off that way, but being too pushy really comes off as 'rude' over here, so it's probably a pretty mutual thing tbh
(Edit: Read IceCream's comment, it is very accurate imo)
Great video
when it comes to the "French people are rude". [tap, tap, tap - is this mic on? Can you hear me in the back?] American's [U.S.], when you go to France [and this is true for all countries]. Try to speak French [or the native language]. Even if it's bad. I've had WONDERFUL experiences in France. The French [like the U.S., but in a different way] are very proud of their culture, so when you go to France and you don't attempt to immerse yourself into the culture. You will get a cold reception. American's can be a bit arrogant and think that because English is a popular language. We tend to assume that we can just force this on everyone. Far too often when I travel I see [and hear] American make no attempt, and will get rude when people don't speak English to then. Ummm! Dorothy you've not in Kansas anymore.
Yaaass ! Even just a ''bonjour'' or ''merci'' is enough.
but americans dont speak english, england is the country located on the british isles
Well, French can be arrogant too abroad. We tend to not understand why the rest of the world does not speak French ;)
@@charlesdasilva5026 I wish we all were required to learn at least the 6 UN languages Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Russian and Spanish. I would add German as well.
@@IsaacNYC212 You're absolutely right about that. One huge benefit I see in such a decision is that, as part of learning the language, it would help people to know better the countries speaking these languages, and therefore avoid some stereotypes or stupid ideas we may have. Because I truely think that racism is based on ignorance...
Although I would add Japanese (but only because Japan is on my bucket list ;-)
You are the first TH-camr i have heard saying that the French are just more real. That's exactly how I see it too! Thank you for expressing that. (Tiny British vlogger in France)
Hi, I'm French and grew up in the middle of Paris. I must say that your answers are spot on, Tiffanie. Your views on food and why we can come across rude are so right. I actually clapped when you mentioned people who don't ask "Do you speak English?". That's how we can tell if you're American or British :)
Le mieux c les gens qui après disent « why are they assuming everyone speak french » peut-être parce qu’on est en France ?
Glad you can agree! I was looking at these assumptions like - what is going on!! hahaha
I still don't understand the assumption about deodorant... I mean France is the country of perfume ^^
I am French and I understand that people think the French are rude. We are raised to discuss everything. Argumentation, contests, controversies are in our blood. That doesn't mean we can't agree with others, but we always look at the negative aspects of everything, as well as the positive.
We are also inclined to automatically correct any language error. It is like a reflex, something we cannot suppress.
Thus, most non-French people are shocked and think we are rude.
True about the language. I tend to open it up with "the most important thing is being understood, no worries, but just so you know,...". Tends to go down better.
Ever since I moved here I eat so much bread, baguettes specifically! My husbands French family always have a baguette on the table for dinner. I still have never come across rude French people, only online😂. Everyone has been so welcoming and friendly❤️
Hahaha I eat sooooo much bread too!
bread is good! :) baguettes especially
le pain, c'est la vie ! 😂
Imagine when you’re French living in the USA, and you were the type to ask for 2 baguettes back home ! lol
(Now things are better, at least in mega cities like NY, LA,... but if you go in Maryland it’ll be hard to find a good baguette ... you’ll find these random “Italian” baguettes that’s it)
I don't think French people are less friendly, they're just more introverted
Maybe the younger people are more introverted but the elders (40 and more) are super extraverted and friendly, I swear, I always see to complete strangers having a conversation as if they had known each other for years.
Interestingly, we French get to see Anglo speakers as rude as well.
What they call friendly banter simply does not compute with the French way of seing things.
To us it is just an in-your-face insult.
And after half a century (to be polite) of “cheese eatong surrender monkey with hairy armpitted women” “banter”, we now treat every one coming from this culture with caution.
There were improvements, but the Trump/Brexit hiatus killed it.
Hey! Maybe by "deserts" she was meaning yoghurts and fruits which is true 😄
Knowing Americans I'm pretty sure they didn't meant that, they imagine French desert like pâtisseries etc
I think the problem with the perceived "rudeness" (is that a word ? :p) of the french people is really a cultural difference. I noticed that you said "french people are less friendly and so less polite than americans" but actually in the french culture, been overly friendly is considered as not being polite :p We keep a lot more distances with people if we are in a working environnement, if they're older, strangers on the streets, etc. Calling an unknown cashier or a customer "Honey" is the more rude that you can be in french. French people are friendly with their friends and family. If you are too friendly with someone you don't know, that person can be offended and tell you "don't talk to me like that, I'm not your friend!". So a french person who keep a certain distance can actualy be someone who respect you and don't want to be rude. And it's customary to let the "higher" person allow you to be more casual so for exemple, you use "vous" with your boss by default until he/she tell you "it's ok, you can use "tu"". I met all the time younger peoples that use "vous" for me because I'm 5 years older than them and I have to tell them "it's ok, let's keep it simple". So a french can keep really respectfull manners for a foreigner for several reasons (age, status, working environnement etc) until they have their permission to be more friendly. (and those respectfull manners can be perceived as rude and upthight for others cultures)
I think most young people in France now speak English kinda casually and wouldn't mind if you talk to them in English (even tho they might be shy about their accent or something bc France has a bad habit of "if it's not perfect don't do it" with languages) but in older generations they just don't speak English as much.
I mean if I was going to the US expecting people to speak to me in French I would be seen as weird because of course not everyone know French?? I don't really get why it's such a big deal.
About the "we will hate your if you don't speak french" thing I mostly agree with what you said and would like to point out a couple of things:
When working at a bakery it happened a couple of times that american tourists just walked up to me and straight up ordered something in english without even asking if I can speak english or anything. Avoid doing that here since a lot of us struggle with english and it's kind of rude, you also probably wouldnt appreciate if if a romanian tourist ordered a bagel in his langage in new york. Please at least ask if english is alright and I'm sure you'll be treated much nicer. It just comes across poorly otherwise and it's true that in france if a customer is rude towards us, it's just not in our culture to still be overly sympathetic towards them.
Lots of love of France
This is the first time I ever hear someone mention Romania in an example.
: "Real Life in France" in the title
: speaks exclusively about Paris
So true! Paris brings the worst out of people. Life outside of Paris is so calm and friendly in comparison. On the flipside, a lot of foreigners live in Paris and they can be very friendly. It's extremely hard to befriend Parisians.
Yeah, it's almost as if she was talking about her own experience or something.
@@sabrakt I know, right? Almost as if she gave the video a title that perfectly fits her very own experience. Crazy.
@@sabrakt Hey I understand your point but the title of the video should have been "Your Assumptions about real life in Paris". Keyword: Paris.
Paris is full of people from Province. I always thought it’s actually the province people that give Parisian a bad reputation when they come w assumptions about life in Paris (I’ve noticed this in NYC too). True parisians are good neighbors, they smile, they say hello.
Tiffany should do a video about French assumptions about Paris - like the one that states Parisians know every streets of Paris,... well actually it doesn’t happen before you become a young adult, and move of your neighborhood ... because teens most of the time we were just hanging in our neighborhood and would have no clue to what the north of Paris would be like (at least in my days).
As a french I think it's really important to precise that Paris is very different from the other cities, I live in Paris for a year now, I grew up in the south of France and this is sooo different
People are more chill in other cities than Paris
Moi je suis né à Paris, et souvent on me dit que je ne me comporte pas comme "les parisiens". J'ai donc une théorie : les provinciaux qui viennent à Paris, viennent pour raisons professionnelles (en gros à contrecœur), le vivent mal, stressent et du coup deviennent de vrais sauvages au volant de leur voiture, ou bien tirent la tronche dans le métro. Les nouveau provinciaux arrivant, voient ces gens là, et croient que ce sont des parisiens ;)
About the stereotypes saying that French don't like/are rude when you don't speak french it's mostly a misunderstanding.
French are mostly very bad in english (especially older generations because now the younger ones have an easier access to english through youtube, netflix etc... and most younger generation will find english and american culture as very trendy). We have a strong french accent which doesn't help with english either and so a lot of french people have kind of a trauma when it comes to english because they don't understand it, they feel dumb when they try to speak it because of the french accent and they put a lot of pressure on themselves for that.
There's also some very bad habits that we have because of that. We know we are bad english speakers and so when there's this one person which is actually very good at it with a good pronunciation, good accent then others tend to go big about it, sometimes mocking this person by saying she's bragging with her good english and so even people which are actually good could lower themselves to not face this situation (especially very shy and introvert people).
French people have a really hard relationship with the english language and so if as a tourist you come speaking english to a parisian, who's probably busy and in a rush, who isn't raised in this "friendly to everyone" culture as Tiffanie said, and who have difficulties to learn/speak english then they'll might just try to avoid this situation (and ignore you) because they panick, they feel dumb because they can't help you, they wouldn't even want to try speaking english because they will be scared to be mock for their bad english and so they will just answer you with a mix of french and gesture and seem very awkward and you may get the feel that they're rude when they're just in a very difficult situation (as I said, to some people it's kind of a trauma)
Hey I am a French girl, and clearly I don’t understand the assumption that French people do not wear deodorant 😅
Everyone around me (family, friends ...) is clean, shower everyday, wear deodorant.
Where does this assumption come from ?
I don't understand it either!!! Hope someone can help clarify because I always here this and have never understood where it comes from lol
To be honest, I thought this was a stereotype until I lived in France for a bit and came across a few people who did not wear deodorant and smelled of B.O. My friends also experienced the same thing. I didn't experience this is Paris though, but another city.
I think the no deodorant rumor is perpetuated by foreign language teachers in America haha. My high school teacher also said this but more about Europeans in general. But I understood it as “only Americans need deodorant. The rest of the world doesn’t smell” 😅.
Being a senior citizen and an American, I believe that the deodorant allegation comes from the 1960's era. Actually, commercial deodorants were quite a new concept at that time, anywhere. Because of television and magazines advertising, the US market exploded with deodorants, shampoos, and all kinds of personal care products that never existed before. I think that Americans traveling to Europe, in general, found that the products that they were becoming used to, hadn't caught on yet in Europe. It was a totally different world experience back then. And, those travelers came back to the US and taught French in the high schools and colleges and imparted their experiences to their students. They likely told the same stories for many years and these stories were perpetuated by the students for many more years and so it continues to this day!
Being a senior citizen and an American, I believe that the deodorant allegation comes from the 1960's era. Actually, commercial deodorants were quite a new concept at that time, anywhere. Because of television and magazines advertising, the US market exploded with deodorants, shampoos, and all kinds of personal care products that never existed before. I think that Americans traveling to Europe, in general, found that the products that they were becoming used to, hadn't caught on yet in Europe. It was a totally different world experience back then. And, those travelers came back to the US and taught French in the high schools and colleges and imparted their experiences to their students. They likely told the same stories for many years and these stories were perpetuated by the students for many more years and so it continues to this day!
As a french person, i think only old people are annoyed when you talk to them in english. Young people will actually be quite happy and now young people can talk english quite well and are glad if they can practice so i don't think not speaking french is a big deal.
I'm french, and I deeply appreciated that you kept precising "in Paris" troughout the video. France is not a big country, but it's still diverse, and most regions are quite irritated with the fact foreigners people tends to think of Paris as representative of France as a whole. Well, to be honest, national french radios and TV channels tends to do that too...
I'm pretty sure the vast majority of french people actively DO wear deodorant. I wonder if the myth that we don't wear deodorant comes from the fact that the french perfume market is big, so the idea is "they put perfume to cover their smell", or something like that.
On a side note, it's always a big apprehension for me everytime a french character appears in foreign series. They tend to be the "rich snob or romantic parisian" type, and that's oh so not relatable XD
Finally, this video was a friendly reminder for me to be wary if I ever use my humor with americans at least, I hate to make anyone awkward or hurt, but I know my humor can be particularly dry or tough, even for french standards. Really, in my case, it was just harmless tough sibling love ':/
Such an interesting video Tiffanie! I am French and really recognize myself in what you said. Its funny how everything is also a question of perspective, like I used to think we French people were very loud, as I used to travel a lot in countries like Japan, Korea ...
And I used to believe Americans were very fake, being over friendly and calling you "honey" without knowing you, but again just a question of cultural perspective and what people consider politeness and good social behaviour.
I agree soooo much on the complaining part, we loooove to complain, I like the fact that we are critical and debate but sometimes its just too much it gets exhausting.
As a french, i'd like to write a bit about the whole rude thing. I haven't been in america so I don't know how you do things there, but in France yeah we tend do be a bit honest, generally we don't fear confrontation when it comes to express our opinions, we rather like it, it can bring interesting debates. When something is not the way we like it we will generally say it. Of course it sometimes leads to some messy situations or arguments, but at the same time we know how to keep things apart ("faire la part des choses" in french idk if there is an equivalent in english) so even if we have an argument about something with someone it doesn't keep us from being friends and enjoy the time together.
As for the part about interaction with english people, I think it's true that french people don't like to speak english even if they have a good level in english. First, it's because english education in France is a lot about writing and very less about oral expression and there is a lot of difficulties concerning the accent (generally french people and most of english teachers make fun of the accent) so the majority of french people isn't confident with their accent, also like you said, as french are proud we are considering that if you've come to France you must speak a bit of french, most of the time even a simple "Bonjour" is a good way to at least show your desire to be nice.
On the contrary when we meet an english speaker who does not even try to greet us in french we can easily get a bit angry, because it can be see as if you consider that it is obvious that everyone speak english. I mean we do love America and England but we like France even more and so we don't very much like when stranger tend to remind us that the USA are the center of the world and english is the first langage worldwide.
Pour "faire la part des choses", je dirais "draw the line" ou "set boundaries". "Set boundaries" a plus une connotation interpersonnelle donc, dans ce contexte j'aurais écris "but at the same time we know where to draw the line". Je suis pas sûre que ce soit bon, mais j'espère t'avoir aidé.
@@bideho2994 merci bien, je retiendrai 😉
As a french, I can bring up my own experience to clarify or correct things that people think.
About french being rude and hypocrite, and as Tiff said, I do think that it's just a difference in mentality, we're not here to be friend with everybody, we do our things, they do their things.
For the part "french are rude/hypocrite (which Tiff did not covered, but that's ok, no hate here) i think it's partially explainable by the humor french use, the "second degré" (i saw a comment on it, however not explaining how this humor works, which is probably a subject by itslef). Quick explication for thoses who don't know, second degré is the humor based on what you don't say. Saying to my friend " You are really someone to not trust" actually reveal how I trust him and that it is really rare that he is someone to not take his own word serriously.
Moreover, and this is my personnal experience, as well as my own personnality, I do use a lot of "bad words", to clarify my thoughts, to make things more understandable. I also use bad words because, as I said earlier, im not here to be friends with everybody, and I am certainly not here to please everyone, I decide to use such words because it is a part of my personnality, and if people don't like the way I talk, well, let's say that we were not made to be friends, and that's no big deal.
P.S. Sorry if I made mistakes while writing, it's been a while since I communicate in English.
Also, I do not hate Americans.
Bisous
About the metabolism, the fact is that French are eating at the same hours during the day, they are eating little portions but more diversified and last but not least they are taking time to eat. For instance, during familly meeting I spend around 3 hours for the lunch with around 5/6 dishes.
Also about the language, I'm come from Brittany which is know as rural space and then I moved to lille and in a city people especially young people are more open to speak in English, but there is a real "tabou" around our accent and our way to speak English and the fact that French people are more rude to the first side.
About the fact we are rude I think it's more because parents told us from our childhood to be suspicious about people we meet, danger. French society is quite competitive and individual aslo. So, to the first side yes people are going to be "why do you want 😑".
If I had to compare Americans are more like a peach, sweet outside but more rude into the inside rather than French more like a coconut though to the outside but sweet inside. And yes it could seemed rude that we are completely honest to people, but here it is saw a sign of respect, "if you want that people trust you, you should tell them the truth first"
Sorry for my English, French girl!
Nice video 😁
Great video! Very diplomatic. I doubt anyone French will be offended by your answers! 🇫🇷🥐🍷
Merci!! Just speaking from my experience - some of the assumptions were cray cray!
I am both. I am a dual citizen (US Father, French Mother). I've lived in both countries several times. My opinion is that no French person should expect an American in the US to behave the French way. It also means that no American should expect a French person living in France to behave the American way........because........well, because French standards are not universal and American standards are not universal either. French people are not rude. In fact, they are very polite according to their own standards. The problem is that if you start a conversation in France without saying "hello" the proper way, your French counterpart will find you so rude, they will act very cold. Going into a shop and just say "Where can I find this?" is very rude to French ears. You should say "Hello, sorry to interrupt, do you happen to know where I can find this?" Yes, it is longer but it shows respect. If you expect respect, show respect to start with. The salesperson is a human being, not a dog.........just saying......
I love ur videos. You give a very honest and true perspective from your point of view.
Hi Tiff! I live in France, I was almost born here (born in Congo DR, grew up in France) these assumptions are not true..French people are not like that.😬😏
They is bad and good people everywhere.
Exactly! 100% agree
Hi!
I'm French and just discovered your channel. I truly like how you deal with these assumptions and kinda agree with what you said.
I happened to travel a bit (I'd love to do more) and I've realized that everything is just a matter of mentality and education, things are no better nor worse, they're just different. That's why travelling is so fascinating.
Thanks à lot for this video and for living in Paris.
I soooo enjoy and look forward to your videos each week 🥰 Seriously can't wait to one day visit Paris and enjoy some of the places you've mentioned. I really appreciate your content 💜
Aww yayy so glad to hear!
I find it funny how we have the same stereotypes for each other. American people are seen as rude in France because they can't get the hint that we don't want to talk, they are way too familiar and loud. I think you're right, we don't have the same view on personal boundaries and we see the other as rude when the other doesn't act the way we see as correct. We also tend to have a sarcastic sense of humor and we like to complain
Hi, Girl! Just found your channel and I must say your hair looks so good!!!! Plus, forget Lily Collins, you are the real Emily in Paris...but made right hahaha
I definitely feel that French people like it when you speak french or try to. Also, the restaurant owners absolutely hate it if you go into their restaurant just to use the restroom and do not actually order food. We were told off when we did it.
Strangely the most accurate and balanced " American POV on French culture " I've watched so far on TH-cam.
Nicely nailed.
I've lived in Paris most of my life but lived in Provence for a while. People are so much more friendly where the weather is nice. Parisians are cold af but like everywhere if you're nice, people will respond kindly most of the time.
Great video! I've been to a couple of cities in France multiple times and have found that the "rude" label is not true. Of course, I can only speak for myself, but I definitely found them to be rather pleasant. I'm also from NYC, and honestly, it's the same. I think densely populated cities just have a certain kind of social etiquette that's unique to them. 😊
Hi Tiffanie. Really enjoyed your video. As a Frenchman and a French teacher, I find your insights really interesting and I agree with every single point you made (which doesn t make them true but gives me validation :) ) I will definitely use this “understated chic” description for my students, here in Asia, because they often ask me about French people’s clothing style (which they assume is smart and expensive). As for manners in general, I find that the range of experiences and interactions in stores for example more varied (from great to horrible) than other places with overall better customer service (lived in 4 different countries). It makes it more “real” to me, as you put it. Best of luck with your life in Paris!
Hi ! I really liked the video, you were so nice and explained your opinions so well while being respectful :D I'm a 21 years old french woman, originally from the south of France but living in Paris for 4 years, so here's my take on some of the assumptions you talked about ! :)
Fast metabolism : I agree with what you said, to add to that I think there's also the fact that we don't really snack. It happens sometimes, but most likely we'll only eat at the set eating times (breakfast, lunch dinner).
Deodorant : I don't know where that comes from, we wear deodorant guys, we do XD we call it déo for short. There are some people who do smell, especially on the metro, but I mean that happens in every country around the world, nothing to do with a general lack of physical hygiene x)
Bread, dessert & coffee : as for bread, I'd say most people do buy a baguette for the day, usually one for the 2 meals, maybe leaving a bit for breakfast the day after. People living alone (like me) maybe not as much, because those baguettes are filling, and bread is nice to eat but you don't want to just eat that. As for dessert, I feel like foreigners have this big idea of choux à la crème and mille-feuilles every meal XD in France, for dessert in a random meal you'll probably get a yogurt or a fruit. Patisseries are for special occasions, or to treat yourself once in a while, definitely not an every day thing. As for coffee people do drink a lot of it.
Rude : I love what you said, I think it's very true, we aren't raised to be nice bubbly and friendly to every single person we encounter. But also the bigger the city you live in, the more people will be focused on there own day. In smaller cities, calmer neighbourhoods, people know each other, greet each other on the street even if they don't ... In the south, where I come from, it's actually a lot friendlier than in Paris. I also think we don't invest a lot of time and efforts in relationships we feel won't last or are just for show or out of interest. I'll invest my time and efforts in relationships that I want to last. Otherwise I'll be polite and nice, but probably not "friendly".
We don't hate Americans x) and yes, definitely, trying to say a couple words in French will get people to be nicer to you. If you just speak in english, french people are usually not that confident with their english skills so they'll avoid speaking english at all costs, so if they see you don't speak french, or don't even try, they won't make a fool of themselves in english to try and help you, they'll just tell you to ask someone else. So, yes, add a bit of french in there, and they'll be more relaxed and probably happy to help ! Also, keep in mind many people living in Paris aren't actually Parisians, many of us probably won't know that specific place you want to go to. We're not faking, we're just from out of town ourselves x)
Romantic : I don't think we are more romantic than any other country out there XD as for commitment we can be in a relationship fairly quickly yes but it's not a given... I'd say in any relationship in France you want to be clear from the start what you expect from it (longterm, casual, other). If your partner has the same wants then it can easily work out. But definitely have a talk about it !
Friends : I think in France we don't make friends with just anyone on the streets very often... Probably you'll need some sort of link to see the person regularly to get to know them and build a relationship from there, so at work, in school, riding the same train everyday... There is this thing where people have their childhood friends around a long time, and I have struggled with it myself in university, making friends wasn't easy. But I think if you put in the effort, you'll be able to meet great people ! If you don't put in any efforts french people won't chase you though, whether you're a foreigner or a french person yourself x)
Life costs : in Paris housing is especially expensive compared to other cities in France, even big ones. As for shopping and everyday expenses, it is a bit expensive but there are ways of living while not spending too much. It depends a lot on your habits though. if you go out a lot to eat, drink, party or visit stuffs you'll spend a lot more. If you eat organic exclusively it'll cost a lot more. If you shop in those small nearby grocery stores it'll be so much more expensive than going to the big ones. You just have to learn how to balance it all out, but it works out !
Paris is dangerous : some areas inside Paris aren't as safe as others. You just have to know which ones. Some of them you don't want to hang out in late at night. generally speaking, if you're aware and take the right precautions (not being out at certain hours, not making eye contact with too many people, taking care of you belongings) things can be fine. On pick pockets, it's usually on the touristy metro lines that there's a lot of them, and on the ones in the less safe neighborhoods. But they will more often target foreigners, and not as much french people, because they look for those persons walking around with a lot of their belongings in their bags. So be aware of your surroundings, definitely keep your bag close and check in regularly to see if you still have your stuffs.
designer clothes : I think in France we don't go out in sweats at all, so foreigners think we're always dressed up, even for grocery shopping. For me it's normal, I don't think of it as dressing up. Also the Zara and Mango thing is a hard yes (for those who can afford it haha). As for the designer clothes, I think the french do like having a designer piece here and there, to up their outfit ! I don't at all, but some friends of mine do :)
lazy/complaining : we complain a lot, it's in the culture XD if we're not satisfied, we say it, we complain, it's fun, it's cathartic, when you're done complaining you can laugh about it with friends, end of story. As for lazy, I'd say the person who wrote that is just very jealous of our 5 weeks yearly vacations, awarded by law XD French people don't think the whole of their happiness is to be found in their work, so yes, when we're out of the office, we think about something else, we enjoy the time off.
Parisians are upfront : French people in general will be upfront, usually. If there's an issue we talk about it so that we can solve it. If you ask for advice, you'll get an honest response, like it or not XD for foreigners we might come off a little blunt, but in between french people we know the boundaries of what we can or can't say.
this is so freaking long I'm sorry haha I also apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes, as I said I'm french ^^' I hope the french side of thing on those assumptions can be interesting for you to read ! :D again, great video !! have a nice day :)
Really enjoyed this video and the comments!
Sooo many things to say from these assumptions. Thank you for taking the time to answer them from your point of view. It's always interesting to get a different point of view. Some of assumptions are typical stereotypes (French people smell). Not sure where it's coming from (WWII ?). Others are based on cultural differences, as you mentioned: I lived two years in NY. People are rude there too. I would say you are expected to be polite wherever you are in France (Hello, please, thank you, excuse me... basic polite phrases). But people in Paris are a lot less friendlier and helpful than in places outside of Paris. It's obvious even to a Parisian travelling in another city in France. I personally do not usually stop everytime a tourist is asking for direction or a piece of information. I don't have time for it and there are way too many tourists in Paris all the time (well before Covid-19). But I'll always say hello to a waiter or a cashier. We are not rude if you do not speak French, but again, being polite, even in English is a basic thing to do ;). Don't start speaking English and asking for something before saying hello and checking that the person is willing or can answer/help you. Regarding viennoiseries and pastries..it's too fat and full of sugar to eat everyday. Try to limit to once or twice a week. I would say we try to eat them during the week-end (Sunday Lunch, or Brunch) and I would focus on quality over quantity. Dating : yes cultural shock for me in the US as well, with all theses rules regarding number of dates and what to do or not do and talks to make things official or not. It's more organic I would say in France. But being in a relationship does not always mean it's going towards mariage or even moving in together. Friendliness : French are coconut and American are peaches ;) Hard to get to a French person but once you're in, you're in. With American, I found that it's easy to have casual friendly conversations but very difficult to get to the real person and develop a close relationship. Fashion : everyone dresses the same. Parisian have an unofficial uniform "jeans/ flat boots or sneakers, a cute top and a trench or mi-length black coat". Complaining: our national sport. We complain a loooot. You better be prepared ;) Lazy: France has one of the best productivity rates vs worked hours => time.com/4621185/worker-productivity-countries/ So what does being lazy mean really for the person asking? In which capacity or specific context?
the fact of having to speak French in France if I go to the US I will not force them to speak French quite simply
I have heard that some (not a lot but they exist) French people are offended when people in foreign countries don't speak French. As a French, I really can't understand these strange people.
Good morning all!
ahh finally someone very objective and who speaks a lot of truths.
I am French but not Parisian. First take into account that Paris does not correspond to the whole of France and do not hesitate to see other cities where everything is different. The Parisian mentality is particular but I think it's the same in all the capitals or big cities.
To come back to Tiffanie's observations.
NO the French do not hate Americans! I read it often and I don't know why. We are very critical of your policy or society, it's true, but we differentiate between publicity and population. we know that like everywhere in the world, americans are all different and we must not generalize.
I completely understand the people being raw and unfiltered. Being in Puerto Rico, they don't care and will say anything, whether the other person takes it personally or not. I think that is something that happens when you come out of America. I will definitely say it can be a positive in which Americans can be delusional at times, in which having the truth can help someone come to harsh realizations to make them better people.
Yeahh totally agree when you step out of America you see more people being raw/unfiltered! Was just having this conversation with my friend who lives in India!
I was about to comment the assumptions, but i see that all the french around here already did it! and i'm pretty agree with all of them :)
I really liked your video, i feel you got the answers on point, but i was surprise to not read the assumptions "french can't speak english", i was true a decade ago, but situation got way better mostly with internet and Tvshow with sub :)
As a French all your explanations are true haha Also your hairstyle is amazing ! Never saw something like that, must be pretty difficult to handle haha
Hi Tiffanie, i just discovered your channel with this video. I’m Parisian, and I really liked the way you answered assumptions, i’m overall positive about all what you said. I’ve lived personally in Chicago a few years back and lived the experience the other way round: it’s vivid how the way education is taught it can impact the mentality. Fun fact: I have two young kids, and as it was done for me, I shush themselves in public not to disturb other people, so it made me smile when you spoke about french people reacting when american people can be loud 😉.
And to summmar up, i can testify that French people don’t hate americans, on the contrary, we are oftenly amazed by their ability to rebounce and not complain about everything! So, not to worry, we are happy to welcome you here, as i’ve experienced it when i was abroad with my american friends 🙌
Wait I love this video idea about Assumptions about LIFE in france
Thank you!!
I'm French. Just giving my opinion.
- We don't have fast metabolisms. We NEVER snack. We get to eat a lot of different food and add a LOT of variety to our diets. Also, our meals are smaller-sized than the American ones (for example, a french XL soda at McDonald's would be medium-sized in America). And yes, food is regulated. For example, fast foods are not allowed to have soda larger than 16 oz/50 cl in their menu, so 16 oz is the XL option in France. And it's even more regulated for children. For instance, in school, the school menu has to be reviewed and approved by health specialists mandated by the Ministry of Health every month, which means all meals have to be planned one month ahead. Those health specialists can reject and modify the school menu if it doesn't fit healthy standards (standards that are very clearly established to avoid confusion). If I'm not wrong, because of those regulations, kids in school won't eat french fries in the cafeteria (or, as we call it, cantine) more than twice a YEAR. There's also no vending machine in school (it's illegal to have one in school in France) to avoid temptation. So yeah. Kids are taught at a very early age how to eat healthy and unhealthy food in school lunches is just as exceptional as Christmas.
- And we don't hate Americans. As far as I can remember, when I was a kid/teen it was considered "cool" to be American. And not just the kids, "being American" is actually in trend in France lmao.
- Americans often say that you have to know a bit of french when you come to France. Actually, it's not really necessary. However, there's a codified way to approach someone you don't know in the street. It always has to start with a greeting (like "Hello/Hi") so they know you're speaking to them. If you don't speak French at all, you HAVE to make sure the other person can talk English. So the conversation starter would go along the lines: "Hello/Hi. (Do you speak) English?".
In France, it's rude to act bubbly/friendly to a stranger as you would do in America, and you look like a creep when you act like that. We also consider someone to be rude if they don't start the conversation with a stranger by saying "Hi" and if they don't say "Thank you" at the end of it. People are not machines that you can ask something whenever you want and go on with your day. So it's always nice to slide a little "thank you" whenever someone helps you or does something for you.
On a side note, when I went to America I was surprised because some people would greet me by passing by. Don't do that in France. You'll look weird. Always speak to a stranger if you have a reason to do so.
- Yall really like our accent? Jeez yall weird... In France, we hate to speak English because we *all* think we have a bad/ugly accent and we sound stupid.
- I've never been to the Eiffel Tower. We don't go to touristic places except for museums.
- Nobody wears designer clothes except pricks and rich people. Aside from common brands like H&M ofc. French fashion is "casual chic" ig, so maybe we like more "refined" or classier? But it's not like we are making an extra effort here.
- YEAH we complain A LOT. In France, it is CULTURAL to complain. We go on strike whenever the government does something we don't like, even for things that would be considered "meaningless" in America. It's because we know our RIGHTS. Ain't nobody joking with that in France. We're the country that decapitated our King in the name of Freedom of Speech.
It's just more commonly accepted to be upfront and address a problem immediately instead of "dealing with it" (except in work situations, where it's a bit more tedious, obviously).
- We are not lazy, but we see more in life than just work. The achievement ideology here is very different from the American Dream. Settling down and working just enough to have a happy life and time to do what you like is what french ppl strive.
💯 tu as tout dit !
"YEAH we complain A LOT. In France, it is CULTURAL to complain. We go on strike whenever the government does something we don't like, even for things that would be considered "meaningless" in America. It's because we know our RIGHTS."
Been living in france for a few years, and I feel it's not as much about rights, but much more about hating change and wanting to keep the 'status quo' on most things.
Like someone said to me once : "Le Français aime les reformes, mais seulement pour les autres, des que ça le concerne, il est forcement contre".
Also, if the government try to do something and people don't like that government, it doesn't even matter if what they're trying to do is good or not, it's bad because they're the one who brought it. And if after a few years, things are better because of it it's because they deserved it from the start, not because of said governement and its decisions.
Adding to that the fact that most french people are often unable to see the bigger picture and only think about themselves and "being right" (even when they're wrong) and you get dumb results that make everyone more miserable.
I mean, while there, i've seem some union people going as far as almost sinking the whole company and making everyone lose their job just to avoid a small decrease in salary or firing a few people...
I worked with some union guys that worked with the management when needed to make sure everyone got the best outcome in the situation. But I've also been with some who were more focused on making life miserable for management and protecting their friends than protecting all the employees (when it's what they should do), even if it meant screwing everyone in the company as a result.
(Let's not even talk about the main rail/train company made of privileged jobs when compared to the rest of jobs in France, yet they still managed to go on strike every year since the end of the 40s.)
Going on strike is good when it's for a legitimate reason, not all reasons fall under that category.
I’m Quebecer, with a partly French partner (and step family!), and I think you’re quite spot on. The deodorant thing is I think a very old stereotype going back to the 60s... I would also add that there’s usually a difference between Parisians and the rest of France, when it comes to the reputation of coming off as cold, but I haven’t experienced that, much. (But I already speak French so, maybe it helps). As for the “2nd degree” of humour, it is achieved through the mastering of sarcasm as one of the national sports (along with political debating and public strikes, which I love them for) and loading your soul with self derision. That should / will do the trick. Oh and wine. Drink wine. And know how to drink your wine (aka don’t chug it.)
And say Bonjour, dammit! (See? sarcasm. ;) )
I'm french from Paris and I just discovered your channel today through this video and I love this video ❤️
Hey I'm French and I really liked your video. Subscribed! (and also I work near Sunday in Soho haha)
I like watching these ”life in France” videos from a foreigner’s perspective and wow !! This one is really accurate ! Not romanticized, not worsened, just objective :)
As a french viewer, I want to say that IN MY EXPERIENCE, I totally see your point about the way we were raised not to fake friendship, but I do thank my mother every day for teaching me to be civilised. I DO NOT SAY that french people are no civilised, I’m just saying, once again IN MY EXPERIENCE, that it does not hurt to be nice and try to make the day a little bit better with a smile and a “merci”! 😄
Just signed up - thanks for sharing this!
Very helpful! I will be in Paris in a week from now, and have visited there and all over the country with nothing but positive experiences. I speak very little French (though I will be taking French language classes this time around) and have found the French people pleasant and willing to assist if you at least try to communicate with them. Many just switch to English if you give it a go at speaking (mangled) French 😉
Parisian guy watching your video here, I would say that you've understood us pretty well ;)! Plus, we have the exact same chimney!
6:57 yeah I'm French and when me and my family went to the US we were shocked at how much waiters were friendly and it seemed really forced sometimes, a waitress was calling us "princesses" and my dad was called "prince" LOL we laughed a lot that would never happen in France
Merci Tiffanie ! je trouve tes propos très justes !!! merci beaucoup ;)
As a French lady living in a 12,000 inhabitants town in the South West of France I must say whenever I go to Paris I felt indeed, as far as rudeness is concerned, that people are rather too much in a hurry than genuinely rude. Working persons or students always have to overthink, to rush to catch their metro, to not be late, to do all the errands, and commuters have it particularly rough with sometimes an hour and a half on bus or RER trains ; not back home before 8 sometimes. Here in our quiet province, even working people can take some minutes off their time to answer your enquiries, to start a chat, to be truthfully interested in " Where do you come from ?" and start a conversation. No big deal if the optician opens his shop a couple of minutes later because he had a chat with the sales assistant, down the street.or with a tourist. Granted, toursits are rare.
And it takes me maximum 6 kilometers to tour the town, to do all my groceries, shopping etc... I'd love- and would have to time to - to show you the way to such and such site or museum. It's all a mater of pace of life. So I grant Parisians - and any other big city inhabitants (even Toulouse !) - the overworked life excuse.
Exactly. I worked in tourism a lot, and most big cities are seen as "colder" or more "rude" because of these things. It's also about locals feeling invaded in a certain way. I've seen cities like Paris, Venice, Barcelona etc during both on and off season. People are so much more friendly, open, and calm in the off season when they don't have droves of 20+ drunk tourists screaming in the middle of the night, stopping them every five minutes with no greeting for an info about the metro, ...
Merci de ta compréhension, on est beaucoup à faire des efforts pour rester sympas mais c'est pas toujours facile en pleine semaine après s'être fait engueuler par le patron ;)
French here. I love to look at videos of foreigners living in our country and their opinions and you get it pretty spot on !
If I can make a few comments on the different points you mentionned, (btw I also lived 3 years in the US)
Food: Yes there is a lot of laws and high quality standards in France, much more than the US, though Junk food is also quite popular. But in Europe as whole people are less "fat" and tend to eat more and more organic and healthy. We do drink a lot of coffee but deserts are more like during a long meal rather than a "4 pm snack". Bread is life !!
Restaurants: As you said, quite a mix of French/foreigner owned, however, in the whole country, most high end restaurants are French (and most importantly: a French Head Chef)
Deodorant: Everybody wears some, like everywhere at least. Never got where that came from ?
Rudness: I think you really nailed that point. And it is true that Americains feel it much more than others because people are so friendly in the US. In fact most French people say that about Americains. But as you say, in France, you don't "fake niceness". Either you are a friend, either you are a stranger or a customer and so generally people are polite and have manners, but they are not "Friendly" which can seem cold to a lot of people. But when you have good french friends, trust me, they are amazing. For the language, I think most french actually don't speak amazing English (they do speak, they are just not comfy doing so) which explains that they are a little frustrated by it.
For Americains I'll talk from my personal experience, but we do like Americans, and the US are always a top destination for French People. But I think French people now associate the US to a lot of negative things because of recent politics, much more than in the past and can sometime associate that to the person. So they love Americains, but they might think "the hell are they doing" though haha. But that's true for every cultures I guess. So yeah, nothing anti americain specific at all in France, they are most welcomed.
Paris: Ah...I live in Paris since forever but also lived in the countryside. As you said: it's busy life and very dense. So busy, crowded, noisy, sometimes dirty and rushed and yes you have to be carefull of your belonging as tourists are good targets. But it is defenitely not Paris-Specific it's true for all large cities everywhere. As for neighborhoods some suburbs are quiet and very upscale, some are absolute no-goes (and there is no reason for a Tourist to go there anyway). And some districts ("Arrondissements") in Paris are similar : places where you can go, places where you shouldn't. But all touristy areas are safe, just watch out for scams and pickpockets like in any cities. One thing though: they are weird people in the metro, avoid it at night and alone (not that it's dangerous, just uncomfortable). But TBH as long as you don't wonder off in weird places alone at night or wave you phone out, you should be fine.
Clothing: Casual chic yes. I think people don't necessarly overdress BUT when they go out, they always pay attention to look nice, and wear matching clothes and are good at choosing them. At work it depends on the company. Some companies require good outfits, others don't care at all.
Romance: Honestly, I think it mostly depends on who you date. Some people are quite romantic, others are trash. But I don't think French people are more romantic than other western cultures.
Hard to make friends: Mmmm I don't think so actually. Especially if you are a foreigner and show interest for the country, you'll be surprised how curious French people can get. Especially if you say nice things about their country. Caus yes you didn't mention it, but we are _very_ proud (and somewhat arrogant) on that matter ! Making friends can take some time, but it's a real commitment, kind of like any relationship. Otherwise you are just an acquaintance or a friend of a friend.
Expensive: Yes but like any large city. It's less expensive in the countryside. Housing however, really is expensive and difficult to find.
And finaly yes Paris is not France because much more busy and mixed. But also, a huge majority of so called "parisians" actually come from the countryside and at one point worked/studied or has family in Paris. It's just more rushed there and it's such a major part of France in almost every aspect that non-parisians like to always remind people "Paris is not France!". And it's true, people are a bit nicer outside of Paris and it's much slower paced, but it's not a HUGE difference either in terms of culture. However, there is much to see outside of Paris as well ;)
I hope all this makes sense ! Would love to meet you in Paris sometime ! Keep up the videos !
I really liked the answers you gave tbh ! Most of them are pretty spot on. The only things I would change are the fact that you are very nice towards Parisians (which seems normal since you live there) because pretty much everywhere else in France we also find them very rude and condescending. That's kind of a never ending war between France vs Paris.
The lazy" thing I've seen so many foreigners talking about that, at the end of the day we fought really hard to be able to get those vacations and everything (just don't be jealous), and even though the "official" working hours are 35h per week, it's actually very rare to find full time jobs where you just don't go over. But it's still nice to be able to work to live and not live to work.
Since people here are actually paid by their employers and we don't have a "tipping culture", I think there's also a lot more mutual respect between employees and clients and if there was to be a Karen showing up the employees wouldn't need to stay quiet and listen to her, they'd just throw her out or call the police/security team. I've heard a lot of people using that as "proof" that we are rude, but truly if you're polite and respectful the person in front of you will be as well (in general), and yes it does make us a lot more open to see someone struggling but trying to speak french (and most of the time we will switch to English to help them) than seeing someone only speaking English and not even trying as we'll just think that this person is condescending and we often won't even try to help them and we'll just make sure to use our most local French (depending on where you are in France it can be quite different from the language you learn at school).
Oh and also, we are very rude in the sense that we use a LOT of slurs (I don't think there are many countries that swear more than us) but we are (in general) very polite when it comes to what we call "bonnes manières" (what you should do if you have received a good education like greeting someone, saying thank you, make sure to greet everyone if you come late at a party or something and of course the table manners, although it's not necessarily something we do when we are with friends or close family, I do think we all have basic education as to how you are supposed to eat properly and behave at a dining table). But yeah don't except to be greeted by everyone on the streets because we just don't do that, and if you try to greet someone randomly on the streets there's a good chance that you'll be seen as a madman/woman.
I really like your videos thank you for the effort : ) I write with a french guy and we are always playing a video game together but it's only online and we are also talking to each other while playing. I'm just a bit confused if he has interest in me or not because he says "my dear" to me and wants to protect me from the monsters in the game haha that's so cute. He always asks how i'm doing and he has a lot of fun while playing the game with me. He also wants to draw something for me and I appreciate it a lot. I think I like him because the time we spent online is precious to me. We talk a lot and until late hours
I love the French aloofness, when i travelled to Paris, i was like, omg, these are my People!!!
Well as a French I can tell you that most of the "bad stereotypes" you guys have about us as anglophone, even more as americans maybe is because of the irak war and things like that.
French smells/thinks etc comes from end of ww2 iirc from a cartoon
French surrenders is about ww2 too (and this one is really funny if you know your history because no country/state is above France war/battle won wise (I don't count dead states like roman empire etc)
Oh also... France is NOT Paris, Paris is like... One small side of France, a sad side for most things, France has a lot of different kind of landscapes, types of people, way of life etc... You should move a bit, Paris is trash xD
As a French person who has lived in many places in France : Sure, France is a lot more than Paris. But no, Paris is not trash. I notice a lot of the people who say such things often have never lived in Paris nor know a lot of Parisians and have a lot of very weird assumptions and misconceptions that would be very easy to fix.
@@WaddleQwacker Well I lived 15 years in Paris and most of my assumptions as a "provincial" happened to be true, or even worse than I thought.
I think the whole "france surrenderz lol" thing comes from Chirac not joining Irak war in 2003. Guess He was right in the end...
Like you said it's not laziness it's more like "In France we work to live. In North America (Canada + US) you live to work". It's just a different mentality.
And being upfront in France is seen as being polite. We want people to be honest and communicate with us because that's how functional relationships work. That's one of the reason why we don't like the way Americans are about it and why we call them "fake".
Also I wouldn't say Paris is safe. I wouldn't say France is safe. I'm not from Paris and as a young woman I never really feel safe when I leave the house mostly because there's a lot of street harassment here. When I was living in Toronto (which is waaaaay bigger than my city in France) this was never an issue or a concern of mine.
regarding food, we have way less sugar and products in our food also use of hormones and antibiotics are more regarded in our food compare to usa. But going to usa a lot healthy food are not overpriced. I remember going to usa and havng water cost more than a coke. we can also drink water from tap therefore water is verry cheap in france ( basically if you live in evian or nearby you get evian water as tapwater as the water come from the same place) this help most people to just drink water when thirsty
For me (French) the stereotype of coffee, bread and desserts all the time is definitely true ! Coffee and bread no need to explain.
For desserts it's not really that we eat that much more desserts, it's that we LOVE our pastries, they make us proud because they are beautiful, delicious, varied flavour and handmade most of the time !
Also a pastry shop is often merged with your boulangerie so even if there is no need for a dessert i Always find myself drooling over the glossyand colorful pastries 😊
I think all cities in France people a) have much more affordable and accessible healthy, clean foods and b) live a more active lifestyle (walking everywhere in a day, I was travelling a MINIMUM of 2 miles a day on foot. and that was for bare minimum days--going to class and coming home, running to the corner market, etc.) which makes all the difference in their health
There are a lot more parks in France compared to North America.
yeah sometime tourist will come to you speaking english without even asking if your confortable speaking this language. when i was in middle school, a couple of british came to me speaking in english, i was really timid at that time and my english level was really low as i just started learning it in middle school ( learning french and german in primary school), so i was basically paralyse, really stress and it was not a pleasant experience even if the couple were nice people.
TOTALLY AGREED ABOUT ABOUT FORCING SMILE 🙄
THANK YOU
As a French person, I will say that you answered perfectly 😂
Especially on the “lazy/rude” assumptions. The US and France have quite opposites mentalities, so I can understand why people can have so much stereotypes about us.
As for the fashion part, yes French girls will, most of the time, wear Zara and mango clothes for work and save their designer clothes for more important occasions. Or, wear some basic and classic clothes and pair them with designer bags, shoes and others accessories.
Loved your video ❤️
for French living elsewere than Paris, life in the capital is expensive, too. The salaries can be higher in Paris than in the other part of France, where life cost is cheaper.
Regarding the language, if you are just visiting, no one expects you to speak the language, but if you are coming for a long time, for your studies or work, learn the language! This is true even in countries where almost everyone, especially young people, can speak English, such as in Scandinavian countries or the Netherlands, and even if the language of classes or work is English.
It really makes a difference. If you have time, learn a minimum before coming, then for example, sign up for evening classes or discussion groups. In three months you can already learn a lot, but you have to start!
As a french guy living in UK, the super friendly custommer service first made me quite uncomfortable (I still think it is strange). I remember the first time I went to a bar with friends, I even asked them if they knew the waitress personnaly because I couldn't understand why she was smiling so much and being so friendly
I'm French and I'm watching your video which is very interesting ! About french people being rude if you speak English I think it's more because many french people Don't know how to speak English so they Don't know how to respond. But yes knowing basic french terms could help maybe:) Your opinion of France and french people is totally true !
Hey Tiff! What areas would you suggest renting for an extended vacation (2-4 weeks)? So many airbnb but unfamiliar with the areas. Thanks for any feedback or direction to another one of your videos :)
Great video ! I totally like what you say about everything.
As a french:
- For the rudeness, it’s true that we are not totally friendly at first and we are more real which can come off as rude.
- For the food, we don’t eat dessert or sugary stuff all the time but we love that :)
- For the romance, there are a lot of jerks and angels.
- For the language, French that don’t speak english can be rude. When you speak english, you are always glad to speak in english :)
- For living here, it can be expansive. So glad we have health insurance for everyone (especially for teeth, eyes and emergency).
For safety, same issue in big cities. You have to be really careful all the time but you are mostly safe (just avoid some areas at night hahaha)
- For the thing about the nice dinner, I’ve never seen that hahaha
- We all like to complain in France :) We also want to be successful but keeping our private life our priority
Living in Spain(Madrid) I can so relate...a lot of people have the same assumptions.
TA COIFFURE ! J’adoooooooooore ✨
As a French Parisian, I think you did pretty well in your answers, also with a lot of diplomacy to not hurt anyone. :)
But yeah, it's a big town, with lots of tourists, so there will be pickpockets, scammers, high prices, rude people, stinky places, like in every big touristic cities in the world.
Despite that, you're in Paris, so, enjoy.
It's a shame that most people experience Paris through the busy touristic centre, filled with lines to visit anything. Experiencing Paris through the numerous neighborhoods, parks and canals is oddly relaxing.
I love your hair and jacket. Really great up-scale look!
I would like to meet more French people. Some are very welcoming. I haven't met that many.