What is the deal all of a sudden with You-tubers asking people to comment in English only under their videos? 1. This is a social platform and all comments should be welcome no matter the language they are posted in. 2.This is the internet, it is so easy to translate a comment that you can actually post a response in a language you don't even speak or know. I don't know about every one else but my browser will translate comments in any language simply by clicking on the text. I fail to see the problem. To the content creator. Your need to ask people to post in English only under your video resulted in me posting this comment rather than listening to your video.
What living abroad has taught me: 1) people are people everywhere 2) people will stick with what and who they know or what seems familiar 3) discrimination is stupid and any feelings of smug superiority of your own country/town/nook are completely unwarranted
A couple of things I appreciate in Germany: no heavy lorries allowed on the motorways on Sunday (and shops shut), and general quality of workmanship - you can usually trust a tradesperson to do a good job. The latter I think is due to the importance in Germany of investing in higher education and apprenticeships, to the greater benefit of society as a whole.
Well thought out video. During my 18 years living in Germany I matured by changing my attitudes, some are the good points you mentioned. The lack of small-talk appealed to me. Get to the point! I learned patience and to adjust. The best years of my life.
There's a big difference between being polite and lying, being clear on something important and being impolite. You can still be honest and polite, but yet direct and clear in your demands and expectations. The second thing is whether you're asked about the opinion or not.
Kudos! In my opinion, this is one of your very best videos ever! I also noticed that you came over as being more assertive than usual. That was quite refreshing, too. I was particularly interested in your analysis of making friends with Germans. Your experience with Germans very much reflected my own experience of making friends with Swiss people years ago in Switzerland when I lived and worked there. Your walnut/avocado analogy was both interesting and accurate. It also brought a smile to my face! My experience of making friends in Switzerland was just the same as yours in Germany: making friends with a Swiss person was difficult and took a great deal of time. One had to break down barriers. However, what I found was that once one had made a friend of a Swiss person, that person was a true friend and was your friend for life! I found Swiss friends to be very loyal and dependable. And if you were ill or in some other kind of difficulty, your Swiss friend was there for you! By contrast, after Switzerland, I went to work in Saudi Arabia. There, I worked with many American colleagues. I found Americans to be the complete opposite of the Swiss: one made a 'friend' of an American extremely quickly; however, one could lose that so-called 'friendship' very easily and quickly, as well. The old English expression 'easy come, easy go' comes to mind! I am going to place this excellent video up on my blog. I think that it would be interesting to many of my visitors. I hope that this will please you. Ich hoffe sehr, daß Du Keine Einwände haben wirst. 🙂
Keine Einwände von meine Seite 😉. I have heard that the Swiss are even more extreme in this respect than the Germans so I imagine it was hard for you to integrate there. But wow Saudi Arabia must have been a complete culture shock for you.
Whenever I travel to the USA (fairly recently), UK (not so recently) I do appreciate the politeness and friendliness of almost everyone I randomly meet. Coming back to Germany usually feels like coming back to the cold - in every sense. But I was fortunate enough to learn something else, too. In 2016 we hosted a Russian exchange student for 2 months. She was a lovely girl and spoke German really well, but she hardly ever smiled. My daughter had just spent 4 weeks in the US and one day we talked about the difference between German and American customer service and how comparatively rude Germans were. Our Russian guest said, she really didn't know what we were all talking about. Compared to Russians the Germans had to be the politest and friendliest people in the world. If at home a grocery cashier ever smiled at her, she'd question their mental health. 😂
This is a very good example. Thanks. It's always your perception which makes your experience. I also wonder about the critic about the "bad customer service in Germany": Honestly I wouldn't like to be disturbed every two minutes into my conversation at a restaurant or be "harassed" to buy some stuff when I'm in a shop and just want to look around. That's also a personal perception. The people love what they are used to and therefore define it as "normal".
@@Morellas4 I was thinking of hardware stores. I don't want to be "harrassed", but _seeing_ a sales person every once in a while would be nice. Not to speak of finding somebody who could help with knowledge. ;-)
Yes, it was like that in all communist countries , in the East of Europe. People are not very friendly with strangers but as friends or family they are much more honest and helpful as in Germany.
Gorgeous! I'm German, and I love to watch foreigners videos about Germany. But this is another level. You nailed it. You nailed us! I never saw a video that looks so friendly on our habits, behaviours and flaws. I was never proud to be German or of the German flag or anything else German. But - I can't be not German. I grew up here, and after this video I recognize again, HOW German I am. Thank you!
6:40 I feel like this is also actively taught to children and teens in Germany. My mom told me right at the beginning when I got my drivers license that if I should ever get into a minor accident where a car takes damage to NEVER admit that it was my fault or say sorry to the person you crashed with bc it will be used against you and can get expensive.😅 Also as a German it’s very interesting to see your point of view. Compared to other Germanic based people (to the north = Sweden, Norway, to the south = Austria, Switzerland etc.) I always viewed the Germans as the ones who have the coldness and introvertism of the mentioned countries above but with a little bit of spice or Italian temperament.😂 While Swedes (like Brits) are not able to say something in situations when something is being done wrong, Germans don’t shy away and give you a taste of what they mean while not overthinking it too much. I don’t know where this comes from, maybe bc Germany is located so central and was a melting pot for different cultures over centuries.🤷🏼♀️ Anyway love your videos.❤
Nice overview Ben! Some notes: #6 for me, it was actually easier making friends in Germany than in our country. #7 there is a saying: Deutschland = Gründlichkeit (if you do it, do it thoroughly) Österreich = Gemütlichkeit (keep calm, slow down, let's make it nice) Schweiz = Pünktlichkeit (our trains run on time, so do our lives). I also would like to add #11: prepare to walk. Prepare. To. Walk. A. Lot. Cities are highly walkable, but it is also part of the way of life. Many Germans start the day with a walk ("Morgenspaziergang"). Greetings from the Netherlands.
You're so right about Germans treating life like a football match: crying blue murder as soon as they get into an accident but once the issue has been resolved, go back to normal and largely carry on as if nothing had ever happened. Add to this there is often a (in my opinion disproportionate) focus on what laws the other party may have been breaking, as if that argument trumps all else. Also, while Germans are often more direct, don't forget that a direct insult (Beleidigung) can be a crime and in the worst cases, comes with prison time. Saying the service is awful is fine. Calling the waiter names is not. Finally one more thing as a Brit who has lived on Germany for a long time now: i actually find it really relaxing that most shops are closed on a Sunday and that I can't be expected to go to a DIY store or clothes shop. Consumerism is already far too prevalant in most socities I know and it's nice having one day a week where it is at least toned down a little.
Very sorry to hear about your experiences in 2016 in Germany. I really hope you also noticed that not everyone is like this and that there are also definately people that love having you around them and in our country. :)
At the latest when you as a German order "ein Weck", "eine Semmel", "eine Schrippe", "ein Brötchen" etc in a bakery of another “tribe”, you will be recognized as a foreigner.
Ich hätte gern ein Roggenbrot. - Haben wir nicht! Ähm, dann nehme ich das Brot rechts oben. - Das ist aber kein Roggenbrot ! Was ist das denn? - Ein Roggenmischbrot! Ah, so.... darf ich es trotzdem kaufen? Ein Nordlicht in Hessen,....😂
I find your 'lessons' to be useful to me even if I am not planning on living abroad. They have applications to me here in the U.S. without any plans to move away.
I love this video. I struggle to explain sometimes these things to people who have never lived in Germany and you articulate everything so well whilst being tactful and objective. Totally agree with all these things.
@@britingermany hi Ben, slowly adjusting thanks but 7 months and I'm still frustrated a lot of the time lol. I've also been so sick, like my immune system isn't used to British germs! 🙈 Mild winters and so many colds and flu going around. Am loving my job though but sick pay and better Healthcare in UK like Germany would be good! Hoping to plan a trip back to Germany in the summer as I am missing it very much! And I miss speaking the language.
Good morning, Benjamin; again you have brought up more than one substantial point! It's always interesting to think about views ... Confession: When it comes to being blunt, I am a cliché kraut who dislikes small talk and beating about the bush immensely. But on the other hand unfortunately you are right concerning the feeling of not being welcome as a customer in certain stores. The "Servicewüste Deutschland" really exists!😢 It's a national shame.😠 Anyway, I wish you and all your fans here a delightful, blessed and relaxing Sunday!😊
Good morning, Benjamin; I appreciate your (British?) courtesy. Next to always you do react to what your fans contribute here, with words or at least little hearts; thanks for this one too! Now have a good start of the new week!😊
I‘ve just learned a lot about being a German and it is interesting to hear about your views and interpretations of behaviours that sound too familiar. Your observations fully resonate. I wonder though, if these qualities prepare Germany well for the future which is a lot more unpredictable, less structured and requires a more flexible, instant and innovative adaptation. But thank you, a good way to start my Sunday. Greetings from rainy London
Being polite,friendly, helpful, funny like the Brits makes life in GB smooth and comfortable (for visitors who know English). It feels as if sb has put a soft blanket round your shoulders .😊
Working in a hotel and restaurant with many foreign guests and colleagues of 40 nations I started watching videos like yours to get a better understanding. And hence feeling way more German. The directness aspect seems really the most tricky. When asked my opinion from an American I often stop and ask „May I be frank“ or even „May I be blunt“ because I don‘t see the point in indirectness and beating around the bush. It‘s also very time-consuming and hard to understand what is meant. More often I am not sure if focusing on problems can be frustrating for oneself and/or looking the other way might be a suitable way to cope with whatever annoys you. Cheers!
The thing about regional cultural differences. I myself come from Lower Saxony and feel that the Dutch and Danes are culturally closer to me than, for example, the Bavarians. Thank you for your thoughts. ❤
Perfectly true.... even the war has become history. When I was young they did not understand German... . They only understood me when I could prove my ancestors live in that small Dutch town and the maidenname of my mother was Dutch.
@@anm3037🙄 The federal state of Saxony, with its capital Dresden, used to be part of the ex GDR, while LOWER Saxony is located at the north West of ex West Germany, along the north sea coast line with its capital Hanover, and Bremen and Hamburg within the territory of LOWER Saxony !! LOWER Saxony Bremen and Hamburg have social democrats PMs (SPD), while Saxony/Dresden has a conservative PM (CDU). About the history = the ancient Saxons were living in todays federal states of LOWER Saxony, Bremen, Hamburg and partly Saxony-Anhalt (only the Saxony part). The federal state of Saxony is by name only Saxon, as it got its name due to in those days usual wedding politics, the people of todays Saxony are the descendants of the ancient Slavic tribes = the Sorbic people. The federal state of Saxony is neighouring with Chzech Republik, while LOWER Saxony is neighouring with the Netherlands .. Get your facts straight, before posting ! !
I think that is overlooked too much. Germany is not a monolith. The difference between nothern Bundesländer like Hamburg and southern one's like Bavaria is quite stark.
I totally agree. The level of politeness varies less, though, than the level of directness. There are places where you will be challenged for 'inadequate' behaviour, while in other places, people will quietly put you in their bad book. Or anything in between. Understanding - and getting to grips with - these different social behaviours is key to making friends, unless you simply bond with other outsiders. So, another lesson could be: choose your location and local culture well. If you don't get along in Munich, try Frankfurt or Cologne or Dresden or Hamburg. (Or any other city or town!) And: size does matter. In smaller places, it may seem more difficult to "make friends" but you will meet the same people more often, giving you a better chance of getting to know them and for them to get to know you.
Having lived in Germany myself, as an immigrant, I find your observations quite entertaining, but they also confirm my own observation - it depends. I am from Scandinavia, we are easily as "direct" as our German cousins, and it is generally easier for us to acquire a decent command of the language. I have also lived in London for four years, I only wish I had your talent for observing and describing the differences and the lessons learned. Chapeaux!
Dear Brit in Germany, I think I saw that you actually live in Frankfurt, my old home town which I left in 1973 to move south to the Black Forest to then to leave Germany in 1988 altogether, it probably changed a lot, it definitely got bigger. Poor thing, the "Hesse" (from the federal country of Hessen where Frankfurt is located) is known for being the most direct in entire Germany, even other Germans complain at times. My english husband actually takes it quite well when I quickly end his self-delusion trip by bringing him straight back down to earth (auf den Boden der Tatsachen), he calls me hard but fair. I now live in lovely Suffolk and try to cope with the english way of "muddling through", not easy...
Interesting how you see my country. I often agree with your points of view and sometimes I don’t. But really great to hear another perspective. Go on with that! :) 🕐⚙️🍸
I have experienced point 7 a couple of times. The employees of couple of companies I worked for couldn't realise that their customers were changing, as well as the needs of those customers. The favourite phrase was "we have always done it that way", until the companies went bankrupt.
About #5, it also goes the other way. Friend of mine was on vacation in Scotland with a tourist group. As soon as the local teens noticed the bus they are traveling in was from Germany the made the Hitler salute.... so yea.... might be the reason why Germans do the same with other nationalities.... it's done with us all the time....
Love it! Thoughtful and well articulated. I'm german living in Australia and have experienced many of these issues in reverse. Thinking of walnuts and avocados here, or about the workplace where no one ever points out where the problems are. Funnily, your country of origin really follows you and I am being confronted a lot with German stereotypes, such as presumed lack of humour. Living in a different culture can teach you so much about the human condition and yourself. Everyone should do it for a while
The cultural aspects of a people can be persistent over time and place. Nothing about German culture surprises or bothers me. I'm very comfortable when visiting Germany. The rural German farm community and family environment I grew up with in Wisconsin maintained these characteristics long after the residents emigrated here in the late 1800's. I was raised with directness and have always been direct myself, for example. When visiting Germany for the first time, my wife commented jokingly, "Now I understand why you and your family are the way you are." My heritage is north German, by the way, and I'm much more comfortable there than in the south of Germany. Good video. Thanks.
True, in sense of being more comfortable in north, rather then in south of germany. Just came back from visiting old friend in north (use to study there) and now back in south again (work&life). North is pretty much more direct, even if mostly being under the surface
We have friends in northern Germany, including one of whom is a direct relative of someone living in our area. Part of that family stayed in Germany and another part emigrated to Wisconsin. That was often the case. We also have a close friend living in the U.S. who grew up in the east and came here after reunification. We're friends with her parents as well and visit them when there. My mother's parents came here from Germany and my dad's parents were first generation U.S. We've visited all the old home places and talking with the people there feels completely natural and comfortable. They're all friendly, helpful, and welcoming.
@@fredbehn9287 Thank you very much for your perspective! It always makes me feel sad when people so often describe Germans as "rude" and/or "unfriendly". I think those are perceptions if you're used to another culture. We are more at a distance with people we don't know, that's true. But I think it's because we are somehow a "suspicious bunch" - it's never meant to be personal.
This Video is nice. I am German myself, living for Japan for 1 year, as an international student. I study Japanese and know a bit about history and literature because of my study subject. Japan and Germany are sometimes the opposite, sometimes they share some little similarities, its actually quite interesting. I agree for the most part, but some points can be more discussed in the video. There are interesting theories, that might not dive deep enough. I think most cultures are easiest explained through their cultural history. Germany as geographic position plays also a major role in its development. Some positive points were especially accurate. I myself have never been to UK yet, but plan on going. My parents went there and loved it there, my brother and sister have also been to the UK. I think the opinions of British people dropped after the Brexit event, probably because it felt like a "betrayal" even if its not (at least in my opinion it is not. Very complicated stuff, I think the younger generation tends to enjoy speaking English more than the older. This one point missing out here and I want to add for now.
Thanks for your points. I’ve never been to Japan but it’s often compared to Germany - at least in terms of its economy and industry. I hope you enjoy it😀
I completely agree what you said about stereotypes. I was taught at school that stereotypes were evil but one of the life lessons that I have learnt is that stereotypes are more true than I ever would have thought. If a stereotype is untrue, then it will disappear quite quickly. All stereotypes are based on some truth, even if they are not true all of the time.
Yes exactly! Just watch out how long the steriotype of cheap and crap chinese products persists….give it another 10-15 years and this steriotype may no longer exist.
It's striking how most of this is also applicable in France. Learning German then English, and visiting both countries in that order, Germany was easy. It was like France but without implicit communication. Maybe less subtle but also relaxing. UK always was more confusing, but also more exciting. People in London were certainly as high as French with implicit communication and subtleties, which was relatable, but in their specific way which I didn't have the mental map to decode immediately. Ah, Europe. Learning to know each other is our never ending adventure. (great thoughtful video btw, thx!)
I think much of what you have learned (pain) applies to much of Austria, although there is more room for wiggle when it comes to rules and regulations here...( close to the Balkan )
Benjamin, that was very informative on German life and culture. I totally agree that one of the very first things one should do in any foreign country is to learn the language. I live in Los Angeles and am often amazed at how many people only speak Spanish. Though I have never visited Germany, I had always heard how well-organized and structured things could be. I would like that. I have subscribed, liked and will be looking out for your other videos. Very soothing and attractive voice.
I don't understand why English speakers find learning German so difficult. The two languages are closely related, and part of what makes improving my English enjoyable is finding out about cognate words and how they evolved apart in the two languages. I recommend to any English speaker interested in learning German (or any other Germanic language) to look up words in etymonline and be fascinated about what form and meaning a familiar English word has acquired in German (or Dutch, Swedish, Danish etc)
I don't understand it either. Maybe all not english speaking countries learn foreign languages in quiet young ages. We learn early how to learn languages. We are trained to derive words. I can't understand that english speaker not has the idea that "Wasser" means "Water" or "Apfer"means "Appel", "Haus" means "House". There are so much similar words.
I left Germany in my early twenties to live in the US. Now, 30 years later, I’m back and working. It’s been a rough adjustment to say the least. I actually changed jobs because of an extremely abrasive and confrontational coworker. I‘m scared of what the new job will bring and feel like I’m ill equipped for this kind of coexistence.
to point 9. It's not just about quality over quantity, you can also live with cheap things if the "price-performance ratio" is right if a "cheap throwaway product" is BETTER than a "so-called" overpriced quality product that brings you no other advantage other than "Social status" it doesn't make sense to buy it The best example of this is the saying "If I want to drive a Mercedes, I'll call a taxi"
the are 2 big things that living in germany taught me and thats financial discipline and respecting other people private space/respecting people who look "different" . theres a ton of smaller stuff too. are you still in frankfurt? if you fancy a game of pool gimme a shout
I observed last week: It is funny how much some immigrants (since 1990) have changed their habits (adapting German rules) when calling a neighbor to apply the rules for lawn mowing and loud partying after 10, when in their home country this isn't a problem because anyone is loud till midnight. Yes, adapting to the language also adapts to thinking in that language, which turns you into a more experienced human to adapt to the rules everywhere and feel at home a bit after some time and more and more as you stay there.
As a decades-long resident of Germany I really appreciated your observations, all of which I recognised as true and well described. Even after so many years I am not often able to speak in so calm and measured a manner about certain persistent German qualities, especially those that value efficiency over what I would call human kindness. Or obedience to rules above respect for others' autonomous (situational, common-sense) judgement. I think the root of both of these typical qualities can be found in one of the first things I noticed and commented on when I moved to Germany: "The Germans think people are essentially not good." So it is only reasonable to want to organise their activities, monitor their actions, call them to order when they do their own thing.
That’s an interesting idea about people not being good. I don’t think I’ve heard it described that way before. Certainly given me some food for thought.
Normally rules are put in place for a reason and there are direct or longterm consequenzes when a majority of people don't follow them. We live in a society and rules help to make live easier for all of us. Take the example of the person who puts their feet on the seat in the train. What's the reason for the rule of not putting your dirty and probably wet shoes on a seat? Easy answer i think! What are the longterm consequenzes when a lot of people do this? higher ticket prices because the cleaning costs more or uncomfortable plastic seats or something similar. This way we all suffer because some idiots had to spoil it for everybody. How to avoid the conflict in this moment? Common sense... take a newspaper or a jacket and put it between your dirty shoes and the seat :) I was raised with the principle that my freedom ends where the freedom of another person begins. And I think most of the rules reflect this. But probably I'm the only german that thinks this way and all the others are just obedient and love rules. And efficiency means for me: how can i get the best possible result with the least amount of work ;) Both of these "typical qualities" have nothing to do with the idea about people not being good. I think compared to other countries we have a lot of trust in people. A few examples: Gas stations... you pay after putting fuel in the car. Public transportation... no regular ticket controls. Have you seen a lot of public camera surveillance by the police in germany? And all the nice places where you can pick flowers and strawberries by yourself or Hofläden without a cashier... and you pay by putting money in a box? I think in general we expect from ourself and other people to do the right thing and that means also to follow the written and the unspoken rules of the society we live in.
It depends on where you live in Germany. In the South of Germany, people are very polite. That doesn’t mean we can’t be direct 😅 But don’t forget, we don’t have enough time for too many words. Our words can be soooo long. I really appreciate the politeness of British people. I love that. I‘ve learned to read between the lines.
@@britingermanyIn data science, overfitting occurs when a neural network, much like the human brain, becomes too specialized in the training data and struggles to generalize to new data, rendering it ineffective for making meaningful inferences. This parallels Germany's current situation, where the entrenched mindset reflects the saying, 'Es kann nicht sein was nicht sein soll,' indicating a reluctance to acknowledge realities that don't align with preconceived notions. Just as in data science, remaining open to new perspectives is crucial for avoiding overfitting and ensuring accurate interpretation and decision-making.
@@britingermany I probably went a bit overboard with using gpt for crafting my previous answer. But isn't it a nice metaphor to see society as a more or less optimized network of constituents. And what should be the means to optimize? What's the cost? And isn't it just that what culture, mentality at the end boils down to?
Very honest and helpful points I think. I'm German and I agree with basically everything you said except maybe no 10. I'm not sure going to another place with stereotypes in mind might not actually be more harmful in the long run. Point for debate :). My two cents concerning "honesty", the reverse case: At first the US or the UK seem a bit like wonderland to us Germans. Everybody's so friendly and polite!! OMG the service! But then comes the reality check... the standard German will not be able to deal with dishonesty for politeness sake at first. We take everything at face value and then find out the hard way that, no, that person did not really want to see us again soon 😭 😅. I found it SO HARD to make friends in the UK. I was constantly second guessing everything people said. Do they really like me? Do they actually want me here? Would they rather I leave??? How will I ever know?? It. was. exhausting. 😆 Anyhow! Really great vid! Also I'd like to apologize for all the idiots holding you personally responsible for brexit. 😬
One place where the British abandon niceties is at universities. If your peers think your work is rubbish, they will shred it -- and you. Coming from the US, where someone will always say, "I liked the part where..." before polite criticism -- that did take getting used to.
Your sports analogy ("life is a game") is very instructive. I was yelled at by a German cyclist for not being fully to the right when he was passing, and the extremity of the scolding shocked me . I think if you are from the USA and someone yells at you like that, it means: "I might have to fight this person."
I still have this reaction as someone who grew up in Germany. Whenever someone gets an emotional reaction to something petty, my subconscious goes "Is it war? Is it war? No, it's just a prick, move on."
I grew up with a polish background. I speak honestly and straightforward but stay out of peoples business. Lesson 4: Germans are very serious about their bike lanes. Great points and observations.
Once I asked a British coworker about my responsibility at work and I got some long polite and apologising answer after which I didnt exactly know what was my job but that this is minor and they didnt mean anything bad. I am kinda annoyed about it
Yeah, you know that pain of asking somebody a favor and they just cherry pick on your terms or ignore you completely for their own excuses. I get that sometimes. 😖
@@britingermanyVery surprising 😅. Most continental people are just more direct, but also helpful but when you ask for help... dont know many Brits. Wonder what would be the advantages of such politeness
Kia ora. Wouldn't you have an open mind if you asked a British co-worker about something as important as your responsibility? Wouldn't it be explained by a boss, a superior, or a senior? Would it be in your contract? The important responsibilities should be in writing. All this depends on the situation, I know. I just thought there might be a more appropriate person to ask. If they are at the same level as you, there are very many reasons why they were so unclear. Firstly, I think their motivation was more about being friendly, which to many of us is a caring thing. Maybe the person was potentially in competition with you. Perhaps they were terrible at explaining things. Perhaps they themselves had poor standards. Perhaps they weren't hundred per cent sure. It seems like they wanted to be friendly and that they didn't see they had a responsibility to give you clear instructions. So it should come from a superior who has the responsibility and is accountable for ensuring that you understand clearly. People can put you wrong and get you in the shit. Asking someone on the same level who has no responsibility to train you, is risky. I would be annoyed too. But it is a good "lesson" to check thd correct source. It is usually imperative that you get the correct information right at the start. Often there is a set period of orientation for receiving the jnitial training. I live in a culture where many peopld can be indirect. I like to ask people who are wise and also direct sometimes. There can be further differences. People who are not bosses are people who don't take on a lot of responsibility. Or they don't enjoy telling everyone what to do. I am the second among 4 siblings. My older sister was extremely bossy because she was often in charge of 4 kids. I know eldest siblings who had 5 or 6 younger siblings and were also really bossy. One aunt left school when her mother died aged 13 to look after 5 children. She was very stern and bossy. My mother's older sibling had 4 who were younger. Middle children havd to fit in more, and to get along with people younger who need help plus be dominated by bossy siblings. I hope this will be helpful to someone here. Because in my life, ALL of the partners I have had- were the oldest in in families of 4, 7 or 8 siblings. I am just saying that some of us are not the greatest at being very brief and extremely direct. In my culture, women have the added tendency to be pleasant more than being direct. Men are often far better at being direct and brief. It is good even you understand other people and where they are coming from. By the way, I had a nurse orientation me at a new job. She was not very helpful and put very little effort in. I still remember asking which cupboard, out of about 20 cupboards I would find something in and she didn't point at any cupboard, she pointed in thd direction of about half of them. I have heard people say "that's not my job" or " I don't get paid to teach that person how to do their job". It is quite transformative to look at situations deeply, with the lessons we can learn and understanding others and also ourselves better as our main goal. I am a person who is rarely concise. A lot of comprehensive thinking goes into my answers and that is hugely annoying to my partner (male, eldest of 4) and my best friend rather masculine, grew up near Germany). But that is what I love about Ben's podcasts, by the way. He analyzes things and comes up with beautiful ideas and summaries, like these 10 things he eventually understood about Germans. A final point here is that some cultures really value "talking around" subjects. There are very important reasons why Maori elders do this. Here, public speaking is an art. And, like your colleague, they know that human relationships are extremely important...not just the specific information that is being passed on.
Dearest Ben, the German society is obviuosly quite hermetic, I can understand you feeling hurt by not being let in completely...but in the first videos you were describing Germany's virtues so enthusiastically and full of hope that it was wonderful to watch, because we as 'Germans' are often critizised about a thousand things...now being disenchanted you have started to believe in the correctness of stereotypes, which is bitter. Please don't give up on Germany completely, there's still good in her...
I have a different feeling, at first our Brit in Germany was enthusiastic, then he was disillusioned and now he is more balanced and gains the more balanced perspective.
I enjoyed that video and I do concur that today many Germans feel like Germany is struggling and everything is going downhill. On the other hand, I have the same feeling about the UK. Do you think it is the same? Like a global, general trend? Or is the feeling of general discontent in the UK different from that in Germany? And if so, how?
I think it is maybe global but predominately western...we seem to particularly enjoy hating ourselves and our culture in the west...especially places like the UK, germany, the US etc. However I also find that the digital realm is far more negative than real life. If you do a digital detox for a week and are only connected with your immediate surroundings then things actually seem pretty good...I think Germany and the Uk are similar in that they are struggling with identity issues...waning relevance and influence on the world stage is not easy to deal with. on a personal level the cost of living is raising, wages are not and so it just makes life more difficult for the average person...it's always about the money...for the large majority at least
I am very interested in the different ways that different people cope with adversity. I am a Kiwi. Much like Aussie's I have grown up around the "she'll be right" attitude. I am often amazed by different groups of people. For example, the Ukrainian people seem to be a very strong breed of people. The people in Gaza are simply trying to survive and to eat. I have felt a lot of amazement here in New Zealand, too. I watched lots if people during the pandemic who had lost their businesses. They seemed so strong. But recently I have also seen a lot. We had huge, severe floods a year ago. People lost all their belongings and thd lives of loved ones. Many people are still without homes. Men font cry here. But now I have never seen so many men crying in all my life. But now, people here are being positive in spite of massive fires turning the forests to ugly ash. They know what is important. In these situations, people all help eacother...or literally go out and rescue everyone. Helping eachother and brother's keepers seem to help. I think about the Ukrainian leader, and our Jacinda Ardern and the leaders who get us through...including Winston Churchill and what the incredible Brits did, and the Russians under Stalin. I think leadership and pulling together are key. Hopefully for good. Trump, Hitler etc turn out to be divisive and destructive, wallowing in their power. I think culture is another key. I feel terrible despair coming out of the U.S. And people who lave lost hope. Their needs to be light at the end of the tunnel. But I also noticed a real strength in other Kiwis around me. We have an extreme right government. They are exploiting and trampling on huge groups of people- beneficiaries, gang members, Maori, renters, workers, unskilled immigrants. Yes, helping rich mates instead. Maori are strong regarding the mana of their ancestors. Their response is " We will fight". And a friend from the Islands( Pacific) reported back from his mates "We'll see". The Maori and Pacific people here are accustomed to poverty, hardship and oppression. It's nothing new. Their strength comes from culture and connection with family. Their cultures are staunch and strong. For Maori it is tikanga, their traditional ways which are connected and foundational. Connected to the environment, the universe, to ancestors, to family, and to future generations. Their energy goes into helping eachother, or their communities. I understand Gabor Mate who talks about why people are "lost" - through being disconnected.... from everything else, and themselves. I noted also, the Jewish people...and their support for the IDF. I am very humbled, seeing the resolve of the Jews...because I am conscious of the past, every day of my life. I sense there that defeat and despair is avoided in Israel. Like our Maori kaha (strong Maori), Jewish people seem bound in strength. It seems incredible to me, that what German people could benefit from, they nearly obliterated. And what my British people lacked, we also nearly obliterated. The same is true with the Australians and Americans. When I listen to Aboriginals, African Americans, and the indigenous Americans, I feel the same wisdom but a bit more crushed. I don't think Jews and Maoris feel despair. They are staunch and have the ancestral wisdom to guide them every second of the day. They are all people who unite and who look after eachother. So, thinking about Ben's topic and question...those are the Peoples who have literally changed my life and made it infinitely joyful...most of the time. How can I be descended from Jews and not appreciate every good night's sleep, loved ones around me, every mouthful of food and every human kindness? I see that German people (have heard them), like to complain, and it is something they advocate. I wouldn't be surprised if despair clouded their country. Regarding America, I feel very sad for her people. I think rights should never take over from responsibility. And thinking your own country is great and that others are not, is rather foolish. To not know about the world and history makes people foolish too. So I try to resolve that in myself as much as I can. A lot of Jews and rescuers inspire me, because they faced death and risked death. I was recently diagnosed with cancer. ( The most likely cause appears to be my long term use of chemicals produced in Germany, by the way). But facing real problems, losing everything you worked for, your livestock, all your heirlooms, like a shortened life, out of control fires, devastating floods with loss of life, seem to have a sudden affect on us. All of a sudden there is not much that really matters any more. Humility and gratitude suddenly balloon to overwhelming proportions. And connection is suddenly urgent and vital. I feel that one of the liberating and joyful tikanga (ways) is known to every New Zealander is "kotahitanga" . We are all the same, united, everyone is welcome, no one is better than anyone else. And also here in NZ is "manaakitanga". We look out for eachother, we check up on eachother and help whoever needs help. And also we have "whanaungatanga". We are family. The family is everything. The school is family. The workplace is family. The neighbourhood is family. Everyone around are family...or highly respected visitors. The whole area is connected. Jacinda Ardern put it well "they are us"... and "our team of 5 million". We say "all around the motu", because the Maori language is a softer, more caring, more connected language. This is actually my version of "lessons learned". Except I didn't have to leave this paradise or cross any ocean to find the wisdom to sustain my whole family and country. Regarding people moaning or feeling despair? I think there is a lack of guiding principles from ancient wisdom, a lack of appreciation, a lack of strength and a real lack of abundant love. I think German people would be happier if they learned something from the people they oppress or oppressed. Then they might stop focusing on what they can gain or hold onto. Like some one mentioned, control not trust it's the difference between self focus and manaakitanga.
Your comments on lifein my home country are very helpful and balanced. We are blunt, but it helps to clear the coast whenever there is a problem. We are slow in making friends but once you have made a friend, it’s for keeps. Die Westfalen sagen von sich, dass man erst eine Tonne Salz mit ihnen gegessen haben muss, um Freund/in zu werden. We re a bit slow in this respect but we care. What I deplore, witnessed in trams in Dortmund, is the growing rudeness/racism. That really bothers/worries me. The notion that the country of birth may prejudice the “natives”, is unfortunately part of the “Zeitgeist”. Die AuchFürchterlichDemagogische Partei zeigt, wie sehr die BRD kämpfen muss. I am relieved that tens of thousands of my compatriots stand up to fight intolerance, hatred, misogyny. Thank you for keeping us posted. You should go into politics like Mr. McAllister, MEP. 😊
This is such a beautiful comment. I have seen prejudice in lots of comments I have read. It is lovely that you and your compatriots stand up. I wouldn't want to be prejudiced myself and think that everyone is like that in one country. If is shocking to hear of that behaviour on trains etc. It means a lot to me to know that people stand up against that inhumane treatment of innocent people.❤❤❤
Well, you could ask yourself why that happens. The childish idea is to stop there and think that people just become more adversarial, rude, rac*st for no apparent reason, just because. Chances are you're suffering from your own blind spots and miss some significant part of the picture.
I just wanted to comment on the Brexit part - I totally agree with you that it felt like a break-up situation for many Europeans (Austrian here). Personally I felt sad about it, but I tried never to take it out on my brit friends - ok there might have been some banter. On another note, that Schnitzel in the opening sequence looks vile, I would like to invite you to Vienna and take you for a proper Schnizel! 😅
Hej 👋 I hope you are well! A German here 😅 I think cultural stereotypes are important, but I like to look up what stereotypes the people of that culture have about themselves, instead of relying on, often very colored, stereotypes about cultures. To be German: The whole exceptions of the rule thing though - what you mean is every rule has an exception. The other one is a legal term as in parking allowed from 10:00 to 18:00. The rule is that parking is forbidden, the exception is the one written on a sign. Legally it proves the rule: parking is forbidden
"More Efficient". Speaking what is on your mind does Not equate to "Honesty". Germans Rarely question their own motivations and it comes across in their justifications for being Rude.
It's amazing how much Germany seems to resemble what is said about living in France yet France gets shit on immensely while it is forgotten that it's really just a country at the intersection of Roman and Germanic values. People are more direct, the customer is not king, people generally seem to complain more, collectivism is valued more than individualism, having to be patient while dealing with bureaucracy, so on and so forth. That said, as someone who enjoys reading about European culture and history, the general idea I've read is that the French critique more than the Germans but that the Germans just generally allow themselves to be grumpier.
For me as a German who moved to France it's like you're talking about France ... 😁 If you think, for example, that Service isn't a thing in Germany, you have to live for a while in France. I think there's not even a word for "Service" in the french language. ^^
Hallo Benjamin... ich beobachte aber auch, dass Leute gar nicht mehr reagieren, wenn Regelverstöße passieren.... man denkt sich... egal... ich muss mich nicht über jeden Scheiß aufregen.... im Zug benutze ich mittlerweile einen NOISE REDUCER... nonetheless I like the way you offer your view on Germany...
I am guilty of taking your country's (Brexit) decisions personally. But I would be grateful for clear explanations from Brexiteers and would have no problems at all with Remainers. I promise to be blunt and honest in a discussion. I can't promise politeness, though.
I find it unfair to judge British people negatively because of Brexit. Britons had different opinions about the EU before, and they do now. You can't tell an individual's position just from being British. Even if leaving the EU for good seems a bit extreme, there are worthwhile reasons to criticise its constitution and policies. Also being outside of the EU isn't the end of the world. We don't view Switzerland or Norway negatively for not being EU members, and we got along fine with Britain before it joined the EC (as it was then).
I have lived in Germany since 1975. I find that most of the things talked about in this video applied then, but Germany has changed radically since then. I find Germany is a much more liberal and open country than GB. But then GB has probably changed a lot since then too. One great thing about Germany is the lack of class distinction. The statements about the hardness, toughness and efficiency of Germans are mere cliches. The story about road rage could happen anywhere. I have never found it difficult to find friends in Germany. Of course , talking English is strenuous for most Germans, so consequently making friends is much easier if you speak the language fluently. You have to be able to convey the meaning behind the words and be capable of innuendo and irony, and this may well take more than 10 years.
i am german and i have been living in the uk for over 30 years and i would say the best things about england is the politeness, the good manners and the excellent british media and wetherspoons, of course,... and all these wonderful charity shops where you can always discover something amazing. britain is a much more humane and friendly country than germany.
"Excellent British media and Wetherspoons"? Are you talking about DailyTer☆☆r and sticky carpets at Brexitters Wetherpoons, who is complaining now because of lack of staff since Brexit? Well...
Being a British citizen who has lived in Germany for almost 50 years, I could not imagine going back to the UK to live. Plus years ago the rumours of Brexit made me apply for German citizenship.
@@Ms84Jessa Downsizing of living standards by about 30-40 % as stated by my London born spouse, who also had to get dual citizenship because of Brexit...
I lived in Germany for almost 13 years. I found many Germans unhelpful while learning the language - often impatient and eager to switch to English. You constantly have to insist on keeping it in German.
Yes I also had this experience at first. But interestingly not anymore. I find that many Germans are actually not confident speaking English and don't enjoy it that much...maybe it's just because I speak German now and they feel that I will pick up on their mistakes because I am a native English speaker....🤷♂️
It depends on the importance and the level of german, if I speak english or german. If i have to explain every sentence, I would switch to english, if I was not sure to be understood correctly, I would switch to english. Talking to someone, who has permanently a question mark floating above his head is quite exhausting (don't want to say annoying). But.. I've finished school about 30+ years ago, so i'm not very confident about my english speaking ability. So.. If you ask me for the direction randomly in the street, I would answer in english. If we were in a casually talking environment and I knew, you would love to improve your german, I would speak german
@@kilsestoffel3690 this. i had collegues from china, india, arabian peninsula. when i was working wiith them and had to explain stuff to them, i did it in english, because in german they were barely able to communicate. and even in english there were just big question marks above their heads. And it was not really that much of a complex task i had to explain in most cases.
Our Brexit is WW2. It's annoying how often as a German you are confronted with this abroad, even though you thought it was too long in the past to still be important to other people.
@@britingermany Well ,not for us, but for the other peoples evidently. What is not helping is, that in the US they teach mostly WW2 about Germany in school. So they learn almost nothing about the modern Germany.
@@IIIOOOUS I always feel like a lot of the other countries (especially the USA) are somehow obsessed with WW2. And sometimes they tread you as if you've been a part of it. If you're German you are guilty it's what they are implying.
The 'putting people in boxes' part is interesting. I'd venture a guess that it's down to two things. a) Germans tend to have a strong Socratic streak, treating things as accepted facts that are subject to examination and change. So, a bunch of people may just make assumptions about you as a Brit after Brexit and if you clarify your own views, many might switch. Of course, they'll also need to talk about it to manage their cognitive dissonance. b) You are talking about people who spent their entire life feeling judged by other people about what some insane Austrian dude and their great grandparents did 80 years ago, which seems reasonable seeing how that era is treated in popular culture.
What is the deal all of a sudden with You-tubers asking people to comment in English only under their videos? 1. This is a social platform and all comments should be welcome no matter the language they are posted in. 2.This is the internet, it is so easy to translate a comment that you can actually post a response in a language you don't even speak or know. I don't know about every one else but my browser will translate comments in any language simply by clicking on the text. I fail to see the problem. To the content creator. Your need to ask people to post in English only under your video resulted in me posting this comment rather than listening to your video.
@@raedardiy2661 Well... depends on the experience I think. But it's a very interesting question you rise. I think, what people from other cultures call "German directness" has maybe something to do with the topic of "following the rules". Because of the rules we have, the Germans think they are entitled to say something (like the matter with the shoes on the seat). One Sunday in my neighbourhood someone was cleaning a car with a very loud machine. This is forbidden on Sundays - so I went over and told him very friendly to please stop this work. He said "It's my premise and I can do what I want" in a not so friendly voice. So I called his employer with my request and a short time later the noise stopped. The next Sunday it was just the same, so I called the police. This kind of "directness" has to do with following the rules. But nobody would say to a person which we don't know - let's say "Your nose is too big" or whatever. There exists also politeness here. The key is maybe the honesty which we - most of the time - try to be. And because honesty makes you vulnerable we are probably a suspicious bunch and it will take a time to know us better.
@@Morellas4 No my experience has nothing to do with rules and i am not so rude to make fun of big noses, it's more about ethics, the directness I dislike is when I am in a shopping mall and could not find a certain product and then I found a co-worker and ask him/her very kindly to help me find it and then get a kind of dead eyes and angery face telling me it's normal not to find it in this part so it's another way to say "you are dumb " and when I say I know that but I came here to talk to you "with a smile " and then she/he gets offended, I really hate these situations I avoid asking german workers in such situations in order not to go home thinking about these direct and honest conversations, and fortunately i could respond quickly in german, think about those who still could not respond in german how many bad experiences they should carry every weak, and how bad this is going to influence their quality of life in Germany.
@@raedardiy2661 I understand. Do you think it is related to you being of another culture? Because my experience as a German seems not different. I always plaster on my friendliest face before I ask someone in a shop when i couldn't find something - and I'm always prepared for exactly this rude behaviour you describe. The best you could get seems a wave of the hand in a non-descript direction and a short "over there". I hate it and also feel not good about it, it always makes me angry. I'm very sorry for this behaviour. But I think it's not always about ethnics. I often wonder why people work in shops if they just don't like customers. It's - alas - very common here, you're right.
My wife, Russian, even noticed that some Germans not only directly say what they dislike etc., but they also cannot help themselves doing the corresponding facial expressions, for example, in the tram. It just bursts out of every hole :) She thinks Germans are intense people, especially after living in the UK, where people avoid interacting too much with each other. Anyway, if you think Germans are rude or hard to make friends with, try Paris or other regions of France. People are less direct there and not much friendlier.
I don't think directness is a good thing. Many people in Germany simply let their thoughts out or suppress their feelings and say nothing, because they are incapable of conflict. They simply haven't learned how to deal with problems.
Directness is actively confronting the problem and managing the conflict. When you got a problem you have to voice it and adress it. When you are just talking around the pudding (german figure of speech similar to beating around the bush) you are not confronting the problem itselfand are avoiding conflict.
@@zhufortheimpaler4041 I don´t think so, if you are too direct it can be hurtful. If you give a hint to a problem, you also give yourself room to be wrong.
@@IIIOOOUS then the other side has to make a guess what your problem might be. Wich would again be unsatisfactory, because the other side cant look into your head
Thank you for your views as always. "Germans are too honest to be polite and Brits are too polite to be honest." I've heard that phrase a couple of times and I always wonder if it is truly polite to be dishonest to please someone. E.g. if you receive a gift that you do not like at all, is it polite to claim you enjoy it like nothing you ever got before - so that you may get a similar gift next time and have to fake your excitement once again? Wouldn't it be more polite to say something like "thank you very much, I know you wanted to make me happy with this but I just do not have any use for it"? It may sound harsh but by doing this, you actually open up more to the other person and allow the person to get to know you better while the seemingly "polite" option would just be to remain a stranger to the other person, not opening up and holding up fake pretence. This fake pretence is something I struggle very much with whenever I visit the UK or other places where it seems to be ingrained into people.
Well being polite is not about getting to know people...it's a socially constructed constraint on human behaviour...which essentially serves to keep people close but not too close...maybe it's a bit of a defence mechanism...there are degrees of course and you are more likely to be "honest" with friends or family than with strangers
If someone is thoughtful and kind enough to give you a gift it seems to me that you are throwing their kindness in their face if you do not express gratitude. After all as is often said, "It is the thought that counts". Being brutally honest may increase the chance of the other person buying a 'better' gift for you next time, but what about the other person's feelings. Human interaction is not all about self.
@@gdok6088 Yes! A point that is not easily understood in Germany. If efficiency in achieving more suitable gifts for yourself is your aim, then blunt honesty is the way to go. Politeness with its implied lack of candour serves different ends. These are kindness and consideration for others' feelings.
It is a good thing people are told they are breaking rules.... here in The Netherlands people are afraid to say anything, like if there's too much noise in a public space from earphones (as a reaction people start to wear their own earphones so they can close off from their surroundings) and when you see someone put their feet with their dirty shoes on a seat where other people have to sit, people more often than not are not saying anything anymore because they will get an aggressive response ... by the way, many expats from the Anglo-Saxon world or so you want from the former, collapsed, British empire, tend to talk about the Dutch the same as you are talking about the Germans: very direct, rude and difficult to befriend ... and at the same time these expats are not making an effort to integrate, they socialise with other expats, preferably with expats from similar cultures, not learning the language (like you are talking about) and keep on complaining about how difficult the Dutch are or how much of a nuisance their Dutch neighbours are when they themselves are making more noise than the regular Dutch citizen likes. And it is not helping that we Dutch quickly response back in English when others are trying to speak Dutch ... It is probably smart the Germans still have their shops closed on Sunday... here in The Netherlands I am sure there are smaller towns and villages that also still have their shops closed on Sunday's but in the Randstad, in the big cities, shops are open 7 days per week... One quiet day per week, like we used to have in The Netherlands also, gives people a resting point, a days where life slows down a bit. But then again when we did have these quiet Sundays I was always wishing for the shops to be opened...
I love how nice and thoughtful you are describing life in Germany. I'm American and moved here FOR my husband, who is German. In the beginning, it was fascinating learning the culture and language, but as time went on, I've become more introverted than I was originally. I spend time alone with our dog and/or with my husband, which I like. I do love Sundays when everything is closed except for imbiss, restaurants, and bakeries. And I love their bakeries. Now, I stopped learning the language to avoid discussions, and my last medical provider experience has cured me of ever being treated in Germany again. There is a difference between bluntness and zero filter. Germans don't filter their thoughts. When my husband retires, I would love to move to Britain and/or Ireland.
Good morning all. What lessons have you learned from Germany or from living abroad?
Good morning Ben!
Germany is probably my greatest teacher.
Thanks for the positive lessons you learned.
As long as I landed... I got sick badly of depression.
What is the deal all of a sudden with You-tubers asking people to comment in English only under their videos?
1. This is a social platform and all comments should be welcome no matter the language they are posted in.
2.This is the internet, it is so easy to translate a comment that you can actually post a response in a language you don't even speak or know.
I don't know about every one else but my browser will translate comments in any language simply by clicking on the text.
I fail to see the problem.
To the content creator.
Your need to ask people to post in English only under your video resulted in me posting this comment rather than listening to your video.
you can't run away from yourself
What living abroad has taught me: 1) people are people everywhere 2) people will stick with what and who they know or what seems familiar 3) discrimination is stupid and any feelings of smug superiority of your own country/town/nook are completely unwarranted
Sounds about right
Nothing wrong with being patriotic and proud of your country.
@@valeriedavidson2785 These are two different things.
@@Rondo2oooThen 2 options: proudly smug or confidently superior ?
Try to live in Afghanistan you‘ll change your mind
A couple of things I appreciate in Germany: no heavy lorries allowed on the motorways on Sunday (and shops shut), and general quality of workmanship - you can usually trust a tradesperson to do a good job. The latter I think is due to the importance in Germany of investing in higher education and apprenticeships, to the greater benefit of society as a whole.
Well thought out video. During my 18 years living in Germany I matured by changing my attitudes, some are the good points you mentioned. The lack of small-talk appealed to me. Get to the point! I learned patience and to adjust. The best years of my life.
the inability to have small talk is a real pain in the a........ in germany. all they ever talk about is work and procedures.
There's a big difference between being polite and lying, being clear on something important and being impolite. You can still be honest and polite, but yet direct and clear in your demands and expectations. The second thing is whether you're asked about the opinion or not.
Kudos! In my opinion, this is one of your very best videos ever! I also noticed that you came over as being more assertive than usual. That was quite refreshing, too.
I was particularly interested in your analysis of making friends with Germans. Your experience with Germans very much reflected my own experience of making friends with Swiss people years ago in Switzerland when I lived and worked there. Your walnut/avocado analogy was both interesting and accurate. It also brought a smile to my face! My experience of making friends in Switzerland was just the same as yours in Germany: making friends with a Swiss person was difficult and took a great deal of time. One had to break down barriers. However, what I found was that once one had made a friend of a Swiss person, that person was a true friend and was your friend for life! I found Swiss friends to be very loyal and dependable. And if you were ill or in some other kind of difficulty, your Swiss friend was there for you!
By contrast, after Switzerland, I went to work in Saudi Arabia. There, I worked with many American colleagues. I found Americans to be the complete opposite of the Swiss: one made a 'friend' of an American extremely quickly; however, one could lose that so-called 'friendship' very easily and quickly, as well. The old English expression 'easy come, easy go' comes to mind!
I am going to place this excellent video up on my blog. I think that it would be interesting to many of my visitors. I hope that this will please you. Ich hoffe sehr, daß Du Keine Einwände haben wirst. 🙂
Keine Einwände von meine Seite 😉. I have heard that the Swiss are even more extreme in this respect than the Germans so I imagine it was hard for you to integrate there. But wow Saudi Arabia must have been a complete culture shock for you.
Whenever I travel to the USA (fairly recently), UK (not so recently) I do appreciate the politeness and friendliness of almost everyone I randomly meet. Coming back to Germany usually feels like coming back to the cold - in every sense.
But I was fortunate enough to learn something else, too. In 2016 we hosted a Russian exchange student for 2 months. She was a lovely girl and spoke German really well, but she hardly ever smiled. My daughter had just spent 4 weeks in the US and one day we talked about the difference between German and American customer service and how comparatively rude Germans were. Our Russian guest said, she really didn't know what we were all talking about. Compared to Russians the Germans had to be the politest and friendliest people in the world. If at home a grocery cashier ever smiled at her, she'd question their mental health. 😂
This is a very good example. Thanks. It's always your perception which makes your experience.
I also wonder about the critic about the "bad customer service in Germany": Honestly I wouldn't like to be disturbed every two minutes into my conversation at a restaurant or be "harassed" to buy some stuff when I'm in a shop and just want to look around. That's also a personal perception. The people love what they are used to and therefore define it as "normal".
@@Morellas4 I was thinking of hardware stores. I don't want to be "harrassed", but _seeing_ a sales person every once in a while would be nice. Not to speak of finding somebody who could help with knowledge. ;-)
That was funny!!!😂
@@Kristina_S-O You are right - I agree fully :-)))
Yes, it was like that in all communist countries , in the East of Europe. People are not very friendly with strangers but as friends or family they are much more honest and helpful as in Germany.
Gorgeous! I'm German, and I love to watch foreigners videos about Germany. But this is another level. You nailed it. You nailed us! I never saw a video that looks so friendly on our habits, behaviours and flaws.
I was never proud to be German or of the German flag or anything else German. But - I can't be not German. I grew up here, and after this video I recognize again, HOW German I am. Thank you!
6:40 I feel like this is also actively taught to children and teens in Germany. My mom told me right at the beginning when I got my drivers license that if I should ever get into a minor accident where a car takes damage to NEVER admit that it was my fault or say sorry to the person you crashed with bc it will be used against you and can get expensive.😅 Also as a German it’s very interesting to see your point of view. Compared to other Germanic based people (to the north = Sweden, Norway, to the south = Austria, Switzerland etc.) I always viewed the Germans as the ones who have the coldness and introvertism of the mentioned countries above but with a little bit of spice or Italian temperament.😂 While Swedes (like Brits) are not able to say something in situations when something is being done wrong, Germans don’t shy away and give you a taste of what they mean while not overthinking it too much. I don’t know where this comes from, maybe bc Germany is located so central and was a melting pot for different cultures over centuries.🤷🏼♀️ Anyway love your videos.❤
Nice overview Ben! Some notes:
#6 for me, it was actually easier making friends in Germany than in our country.
#7 there is a saying:
Deutschland = Gründlichkeit (if you do it, do it thoroughly)
Österreich = Gemütlichkeit (keep calm, slow down, let's make it nice)
Schweiz = Pünktlichkeit (our trains run on time, so do our lives).
I also would like to add #11: prepare to walk. Prepare. To. Walk. A. Lot. Cities are highly walkable, but it is also part of the way of life. Many Germans start the day with a walk ("Morgenspaziergang").
Greetings from the Netherlands.
Greetings back 😀
You're so right about Germans treating life like a football match: crying blue murder as soon as they get into an accident but once the issue has been resolved, go back to normal and largely carry on as if nothing had ever happened. Add to this there is often a (in my opinion disproportionate) focus on what laws the other party may have been breaking, as if that argument trumps all else.
Also, while Germans are often more direct, don't forget that a direct insult (Beleidigung) can be a crime and in the worst cases, comes with prison time. Saying the service is awful is fine. Calling the waiter names is not.
Finally one more thing as a Brit who has lived on Germany for a long time now: i actually find it really relaxing that most shops are closed on a Sunday and that I can't be expected to go to a DIY store or clothes shop. Consumerism is already far too prevalant in most socities I know and it's nice having one day a week where it is at least toned down a little.
Very sorry to hear about your experiences in 2016 in Germany. I really hope you also noticed that not everyone is like this and that there are also definately people that love having you around them and in our country. :)
At the latest when you as a German order "ein Weck", "eine Semmel", "eine Schrippe", "ein Brötchen" etc in a bakery of another “tribe”, you will be recognized as a foreigner.
true... proud member of the Semmel tribe 😅
@@ekesandras1481I am from the Weck tribe.
@@uwesauter2610Ich bekenne mich als Mit-Wecker.
My tribe is only ordering 'Rundstücke'!😄
Ich hätte gern ein Roggenbrot.
- Haben wir nicht!
Ähm, dann nehme ich das Brot rechts oben.
- Das ist aber kein Roggenbrot !
Was ist das denn?
- Ein Roggenmischbrot!
Ah, so.... darf ich es trotzdem kaufen?
Ein Nordlicht in Hessen,....😂
I find your 'lessons' to be useful to me even if I am not planning on living abroad. They have applications to me here in the U.S. without any plans to move away.
I love this video. I struggle to explain sometimes these things to people who have never lived in Germany and you articulate everything so well whilst being tactful and objective. Totally agree with all these things.
Hello Charlie. Thanks for the comment. Hope you've readjusted to life back home now
@@britingermany hi Ben, slowly adjusting thanks but 7 months and I'm still frustrated a lot of the time lol. I've also been so sick, like my immune system isn't used to British germs! 🙈 Mild winters and so many colds and flu going around. Am loving my job though but sick pay and better Healthcare in UK like Germany would be good! Hoping to plan a trip back to Germany in the summer as I am missing it very much! And I miss speaking the language.
Good morning, Benjamin; again you have brought up more than one substantial point! It's always interesting to think about views ...
Confession: When it comes to being blunt, I am a cliché kraut who dislikes small talk and beating about the bush immensely. But on the other hand unfortunately you are right concerning the feeling of not being welcome as a customer in certain stores. The "Servicewüste Deutschland" really exists!😢 It's a national shame.😠
Anyway, I wish you and all your fans here a delightful, blessed and relaxing Sunday!😊
Same to you Torsten. make the most of it :)
Thanks, Benjamin - I am making the best if it driving to Glückstadt.👋👋😋
Good morning, Benjamin; I appreciate your (British?) courtesy. Next to always you do react to what your fans contribute here, with words or at least little hearts; thanks for this one too!
Now have a good start of the new week!😊
@@torstenberlin4088An alternative could be Glücksburg 🤓
In Glücksburg war ich auch schon; das Schloss bringt's echt. Trotzdem danke für den Tipp!😊
I am British/English and I learnt to be friendly from living in Turkey for 8 months.
❤👍🏻
I‘ve just learned a lot about being a German and it is interesting to hear about your views and interpretations of behaviours that sound too familiar. Your observations fully resonate. I wonder though, if these qualities prepare Germany well for the future which is a lot more unpredictable, less structured and requires a more flexible, instant and innovative adaptation. But thank you, a good way to start my Sunday. Greetings from rainy London
ahhhh I must visit London again soon. I haven't been for a while. Yes I think some change is needed and it is actually already happening...
@@britingermany when you do, lets grab a coffee and compare notes
Being polite,friendly, helpful, funny like the Brits makes life in GB smooth and comfortable (for visitors who know English). It feels as if sb has put a soft blanket round your shoulders .😊
i absolutely agree. but 30 years ago it was much different in england.
Working in a hotel and restaurant with many foreign guests and colleagues of 40 nations I started watching videos like yours to get a better understanding. And hence feeling way more German. The directness aspect seems really the most tricky. When asked my opinion from an American I often stop and ask „May I be frank“ or even „May I be blunt“ because I don‘t see the point in indirectness and beating around the bush. It‘s also very time-consuming and hard to understand what is meant. More often I am not sure if focusing on problems can be frustrating for oneself and/or looking the other way might be a suitable way to cope with whatever annoys you. Cheers!
Always look forward to your Sunday Wisdoms. Heatwave here but wish you a speedy Spring there. Thanks & Gratitude as always 💌
Thanks so much for your support. I really appreciate it
good video and as a german i have to agree on all your points...good observation
The thing about regional cultural differences. I myself come from Lower Saxony and feel that the Dutch and Danes are culturally closer to me than, for example, the Bavarians. Thank you for your thoughts. ❤
Perfectly true.... even the war has become history. When I was young they did not understand German... . They only understood me when I could prove my ancestors live in that small Dutch town and the maidenname of my mother was Dutch.
That’s the reason they vote CDU while you vote AFD
@@anm3037🙄
The federal state of Saxony, with its capital Dresden, used to be part of the ex GDR, while LOWER Saxony is located at the north West of ex West Germany, along the north sea coast line with its capital Hanover, and Bremen and Hamburg within the territory of LOWER Saxony !!
LOWER Saxony Bremen and Hamburg have social democrats PMs (SPD), while Saxony/Dresden has a conservative PM (CDU).
About the history =
the ancient Saxons were living in todays federal states of LOWER Saxony, Bremen, Hamburg and partly Saxony-Anhalt (only the Saxony part).
The federal state of Saxony is by name only Saxon, as it got its name due to in those days usual wedding politics, the people of todays Saxony are the descendants of the ancient Slavic tribes = the Sorbic people.
The federal state of Saxony is neighouring with Chzech Republik, while LOWER Saxony is neighouring with the Netherlands ..
Get your facts straight, before posting ! !
I find that there are wide variations between different regions in Germany..Moin moin!
Totally. It's a big country
@@britingermany... and Big Country is on of my favourite bands 😊
Moin moin Hamburg!
I think that is overlooked too much. Germany is not a monolith. The difference between nothern Bundesländer like Hamburg and southern one's like Bavaria is quite stark.
I totally agree. The level of politeness varies less, though, than the level of directness. There are places where you will be challenged for 'inadequate' behaviour, while in other places, people will quietly put you in their bad book. Or anything in between.
Understanding - and getting to grips with - these different social behaviours is key to making friends, unless you simply bond with other outsiders.
So, another lesson could be: choose your location and local culture well. If you don't get along in Munich, try Frankfurt or Cologne or Dresden or Hamburg. (Or any other city or town!) And: size does matter. In smaller places, it may seem more difficult to "make friends" but you will meet the same people more often, giving you a better chance of getting to know them and for them to get to know you.
Quality over quantity - one of my life Goals which is increasingly hard to abide by here in the UK if you're on a low wage, great video my friend.
Having lived in Germany myself, as an immigrant, I find your observations quite entertaining, but they also confirm my own observation - it depends. I am from Scandinavia, we are easily as "direct" as our German cousins, and it is generally easier for us to acquire a decent command of the language. I have also lived in London for four years, I only wish I had your talent for observing and describing the differences and the lessons learned. Chapeaux!
Dear Brit in Germany, I think I saw that you actually live in Frankfurt, my old home town which I left in 1973 to move south to the Black Forest to then to leave Germany in 1988 altogether, it probably changed a lot, it definitely got bigger. Poor thing, the "Hesse" (from the federal country of Hessen where Frankfurt is located) is known for being the most direct in entire Germany, even other Germans complain at times. My english husband actually takes it quite well when I quickly end his self-delusion trip by bringing him straight back down to earth (auf den Boden der Tatsachen), he calls me hard but fair. I now live in lovely Suffolk and try to cope with the english way of "muddling through", not easy...
Most thoughtful channel, i have ever came across, very detailed and valuable observations, thanks!
Thank you for your openness and sensitivity! You really do know us! So nice to have your experience shared with us!
Very well put together. Your using the best of both cultures in a very efficient way 😎
Thank you for teaching the English speaking folks around the world how Germans are different than the Brits!
Just a different neck of the woods 🇩🇪🇬🇧
Interesting how you see my country. I often agree with your points of view and sometimes I don’t. But really great to hear another perspective. Go on with that! :) 🕐⚙️🍸
I have experienced point 7 a couple of times. The employees of couple of companies I worked for couldn't realise that their customers were changing, as well as the needs of those customers. The favourite phrase was "we have always done it that way", until the companies went bankrupt.
About #5, it also goes the other way. Friend of mine was on vacation in Scotland with a tourist group. As soon as the local teens noticed the bus they are traveling in was from Germany the made the Hitler salute.... so yea.... might be the reason why Germans do the same with other nationalities.... it's done with us all the time....
Yep. It's not easy to get away from that
I love the British. Friendly, open and gentle. It was always my dream destination before it became too criminal.
On the whole this is a good country and you will find both good and bad. We have issues that need addressing like everywhere.
Love it! Thoughtful and well articulated. I'm german living in Australia and have experienced many of these issues in reverse. Thinking of walnuts and avocados here, or about the workplace where no one ever points out where the problems are. Funnily, your country of origin really follows you and I am being confronted a lot with German stereotypes, such as presumed lack of humour. Living in a different culture can teach you so much about the human condition and yourself. Everyone should do it for a while
The cultural aspects of a people can be persistent over time and place. Nothing about German culture surprises or bothers me. I'm very comfortable when visiting Germany. The rural German farm community and family environment I grew up with in Wisconsin maintained these characteristics long after the residents emigrated here in the late 1800's. I was raised with directness and have always been direct myself, for example. When visiting Germany for the first time, my wife commented jokingly, "Now I understand why you and your family are the way you are." My heritage is north German, by the way, and I'm much more comfortable there than in the south of Germany. Good video. Thanks.
Very interesting that it persists so strongly even outside the physical bounds of the country
True, in sense of being more comfortable in north, rather then in south of germany.
Just came back from visiting old friend in north (use to study there) and now back in south again (work&life).
North is pretty much more direct, even if mostly being under the surface
We have friends in northern Germany, including one of whom is a direct relative of someone living in our area. Part of that family stayed in Germany and another part emigrated to Wisconsin. That was often the case. We also have a close friend living in the U.S. who grew up in the east and came here after reunification. We're friends with her parents as well and visit them when there. My mother's parents came here from Germany and my dad's parents were first generation U.S. We've visited all the old home places and talking with the people there feels completely natural and comfortable. They're all friendly, helpful, and welcoming.
@@fredbehn9287 Thank you very much for your perspective! It always makes me feel sad when people so often describe Germans as "rude" and/or "unfriendly". I think those are perceptions if you're used to another culture. We are more at a distance with people we don't know, that's true. But I think it's because we are somehow a "suspicious bunch" - it's never meant to be personal.
@@Morellas4 Gern geschehen.
This Video is nice. I am German myself, living for Japan for 1 year, as an international student. I study Japanese and know a bit about history and literature because of my study subject. Japan and Germany are sometimes the opposite, sometimes they share some little similarities, its actually quite interesting. I agree for the most part, but some points can be more discussed in the video. There are interesting theories, that might not dive deep enough. I think most cultures are easiest explained through their cultural history. Germany as geographic position plays also a major role in its development.
Some positive points were especially accurate. I myself have never been to UK yet, but plan on going. My parents went there and loved it there, my brother and sister have also been to the UK.
I think the opinions of British people dropped after the Brexit event, probably because it felt like a "betrayal" even if its not (at least in my opinion it is not. Very complicated stuff, I think the younger generation tends to enjoy speaking English more than the older. This one point missing out here and I want to add for now.
Thanks for your points. I’ve never been to Japan but it’s often compared to Germany - at least in terms of its economy and industry. I hope you enjoy it😀
amazing video, love your thoughts
I completely agree what you said about stereotypes. I was taught at school that stereotypes were evil but one of the life lessons that I have learnt is that stereotypes are more true than I ever would have thought. If a stereotype is untrue, then it will disappear quite quickly. All stereotypes are based on some truth, even if they are not true all of the time.
Yes exactly! Just watch out how long the steriotype of cheap and crap chinese products persists….give it another 10-15 years and this steriotype may no longer exist.
It's striking how most of this is also applicable in France. Learning German then English, and visiting both countries in that order, Germany was easy. It was like France but without implicit communication. Maybe less subtle but also relaxing. UK always was more confusing, but also more exciting. People in London were certainly as high as French with implicit communication and subtleties, which was relatable, but in their specific way which I didn't have the mental map to decode immediately.
Ah, Europe. Learning to know each other is our never ending adventure.
(great thoughtful video btw, thx!)
My grandma always said (when we need a new electrical appliance or make an other major purchase) : We are too poor to buy poor quality
Yes, but your grandmother is true! A great old lady!
Poor people often waste money by buying cheap stuff!
@@AltIng9154that's why my electrical appliances are mostly over 20y old and still working great 😊
I think much of what you have learned (pain) applies to much of Austria, although there is more room for wiggle when it comes to rules and regulations here...( close to the Balkan )
Yes I would like to spend more time in Austria. I like what I've seen so far
Excellent critical analysis. Edifying and pretty accurate I think.
VERY VERY TRUE thank you Sir
You're welcome!
Benjamin, that was very informative on German life and culture. I totally agree that one of the very first things one should do in any foreign country is to learn the language. I live in Los Angeles and am often amazed at how many people only speak Spanish. Though I have never visited Germany, I had always heard how well-organized and structured things could be. I would like that.
I have subscribed, liked and will be looking out for your other videos. Very soothing and attractive voice.
Thanks a lot for your kind words. Germany's not quite as organised as you might think 😉
I don't understand why English speakers find learning German so difficult. The two languages are closely related, and part of what makes improving my English enjoyable is finding out about cognate words and how they evolved apart in the two languages. I recommend to any English speaker interested in learning German (or any other Germanic language) to look up words in etymonline and be fascinated about what form and meaning a familiar English word has acquired in German (or Dutch, Swedish, Danish etc)
I don't understand it either. Maybe all not english speaking countries learn foreign languages in quiet young ages. We learn early how to learn languages. We are trained to derive words. I can't understand that english speaker not has the idea that "Wasser" means "Water" or "Apfer"means "Appel", "Haus" means "House". There are so much similar words.
It also only has one major difficulty, which is the 4 cases of the nouns. Verbs are much easier than in Spanish for example.
Ha, ha, how could you have the idea that House means Haus? If we Germans would write it correctly, there would not be any problem. :-)
@@laudbubelichtkind8026 Richtig, das bekannteste aller Woerter; Transparent und relevant. Entschuldigung fuer etwaige Fehler. Fascinating language :)
der, die, das: enough said.
this is perhaps the best video I have seen on German culture from an expat POV
Wow! Thanks for the compliment. I don’t know what else to say
I left Germany in my early twenties to live in the US. Now, 30 years later, I’m back and working. It’s been a rough adjustment to say the least. I actually changed jobs because of an extremely abrasive and confrontational coworker. I‘m scared of what the new job will bring and feel like I’m ill equipped for this kind of coexistence.
Those kind of colleagues are everywhere. I hope they are kinder at your new place of work
Wrt lesson#4 - in the absence of actual bicycle lanes, this is what is taught by driving instructors, for the safety of everyone involved.
to point 9.
It's not just about quality over quantity, you can also live with cheap things if the "price-performance ratio" is right
if a "cheap throwaway product" is BETTER than a "so-called" overpriced quality product that brings you no other advantage other than "Social status" it doesn't make sense to buy it
The best example of this is the saying "If I want to drive a Mercedes, I'll call a taxi"
In Germany, what is "cheap" is often of quite a good quality compared to other countries. I love Aldi and Lidl :)
What an intro. You learn through pain,Germany therefore was a great teacher...😂😊
Somehow I prefer NALF who lives in Schwäbisch Hall and was a football 🏈 player .
the are 2 big things that living in germany taught me and thats financial discipline and respecting other people private space/respecting people who look "different" . theres a ton of smaller stuff too.
are you still in frankfurt? if you fancy a game of pool gimme a shout
Financial discipline? That’s an interesting one. Yes still here. Haven’t played pool for years I’d probably be quite crap these days
I observed last week: It is funny how much some immigrants (since 1990) have changed their habits (adapting German rules) when calling a neighbor to apply the rules for lawn mowing and loud partying after 10, when in their home country this isn't a problem because anyone is loud till midnight. Yes, adapting to the language also adapts to thinking in that language, which turns you into a more experienced human to adapt to the rules everywhere and feel at home a bit after some time and more and more as you stay there.
Polite and direct thoughts!
As a decades-long resident of Germany I really appreciated your observations, all of which I recognised as true and well described. Even after so many years I am not often able to speak in so calm and measured a manner about certain persistent German qualities, especially those that value efficiency over what I would call human kindness. Or obedience to rules above respect for others' autonomous (situational, common-sense) judgement.
I think the root of both of these typical qualities can be found in one of the first things I noticed and commented on when I moved to Germany: "The Germans think people are essentially not good." So it is only reasonable to want to organise their activities, monitor their actions, call them to order when they do their own thing.
That’s an interesting idea about people not being good. I don’t think I’ve heard it described that way before. Certainly given me some food for thought.
oh yes, the famous saying: "Vertrauen ist gut, Kontrolle ist besser".
... uhm,.... yes. 😢 To agree to rules... avoids internal fighting. Burgfrieden. "Inside Castle Peace" 😊
@@IssersonLenin got a German mother.
Normally rules are put in place for a reason and there are direct or longterm consequenzes when a majority of people don't follow them. We live in a society and rules help to make live easier for all of us.
Take the example of the person who puts their feet on the seat in the train. What's the reason for the rule of not putting your dirty and probably wet shoes on a seat? Easy answer i think! What are the longterm consequenzes when a lot of people do this? higher ticket prices because the cleaning costs more or uncomfortable plastic seats or something similar. This way we all suffer because some idiots had to spoil it for everybody. How to avoid the conflict in this moment? Common sense... take a newspaper or a jacket and put it between your dirty shoes and the seat :)
I was raised with the principle that my freedom ends where the freedom of another person begins. And I think most of the rules reflect this. But probably I'm the only german that thinks this way and all the others are just obedient and love rules.
And efficiency means for me: how can i get the best possible result with the least amount of work ;)
Both of these "typical qualities" have nothing to do with the idea about people not being good. I think compared to other countries we have a lot of trust in people.
A few examples: Gas stations... you pay after putting fuel in the car. Public transportation... no regular ticket controls. Have you seen a lot of public camera surveillance by the police in germany? And all the nice places where you can pick flowers and strawberries by yourself or Hofläden without a cashier... and you pay by putting money in a box?
I think in general we expect from ourself and other people to do the right thing and that means also to follow the written and the unspoken rules of the society we live in.
It depends on where you live in Germany. In the South of Germany, people are very polite. That doesn’t mean we can’t be direct 😅 But don’t forget, we don’t have enough time for too many words. Our words can be soooo long.
I really appreciate the politeness of British people. I love that. I‘ve learned to read between the lines.
I like Your point about efficiency and freedom
I think it is something that people often overlook. If people realised what it takes to really be efficient they might well choose not to be.
@@britingermanyIn data science, overfitting occurs when a neural network, much like the human brain, becomes too specialized in the training data and struggles to generalize to new data, rendering it ineffective for making meaningful inferences. This parallels Germany's current situation, where the entrenched mindset reflects the saying, 'Es kann nicht sein was nicht sein soll,' indicating a reluctance to acknowledge realities that don't align with preconceived notions. Just as in data science, remaining open to new perspectives is crucial for avoiding overfitting and ensuring accurate interpretation and decision-making.
@@JuergenAschenbrenner sounds about right 👍🏻
@@britingermany I probably went a bit overboard with using gpt for crafting my previous answer. But isn't it a nice metaphor to see society as a more or less optimized network of constituents. And what should be the means to optimize? What's the cost? And isn't it just that what culture, mentality at the end boils down to?
Very honest and helpful points I think. I'm German and I agree with basically everything you said except maybe no 10. I'm not sure going to another place with stereotypes in mind might not actually be more harmful in the long run. Point for debate :).
My two cents concerning "honesty", the reverse case: At first the US or the UK seem a bit like wonderland to us Germans. Everybody's so friendly and polite!! OMG the service! But then comes the reality check... the standard German will not be able to deal with dishonesty for politeness sake at first. We take everything at face value and then find out the hard way that, no, that person did not really want to see us again soon 😭 😅. I found it SO HARD to make friends in the UK. I was constantly second guessing everything people said. Do they really like me? Do they actually want me here? Would they rather I leave??? How will I ever know?? It. was. exhausting. 😆
Anyhow! Really great vid! Also I'd like to apologize for all the idiots holding you personally responsible for brexit. 😬
Great piece, thank you! And I learned almost as much about the Brits from your video as about the Germans😊
Thank you for watching alex
One place where the British abandon niceties is at universities. If your peers think your work is rubbish, they will shred it -- and you. Coming from the US, where someone will always say, "I liked the part where..." before polite criticism -- that did take getting used to.
Your sports analogy ("life is a game") is very instructive. I was yelled at by a German cyclist for not being fully to the right when he was passing, and the extremity of the scolding shocked me . I think if you are from the USA and someone yells at you like that, it means: "I might have to fight this person."
FAHRRAD WEG! that’s like a criminal offense here 🤷♂️
I still have this reaction as someone who grew up in Germany. Whenever someone gets an emotional reaction to something petty, my subconscious goes "Is it war? Is it war? No, it's just a prick, move on."
I grew up with a polish background. I speak honestly and straightforward but stay out of peoples business. Lesson 4: Germans are very serious about their bike lanes. Great points and observations.
Once I asked a British coworker about my responsibility at work and I got some long polite and apologising answer after which I didnt exactly know what was my job but that this is minor and they didnt mean anything bad. I am kinda annoyed about it
Yes that sounds very British 🤣. That kind of thing also used to annoy me. You have to ask a lot of questions to really get to the root of it
Yeah, you know that pain of asking somebody a favor and they just cherry pick on your terms or ignore you completely for their own excuses. I get that sometimes. 😖
@@britingermanyVery surprising 😅. Most continental people are just more direct, but also helpful but when you ask for help... dont know many Brits. Wonder what would be the advantages of such politeness
Kia ora.
Wouldn't you have an open mind if you asked a British co-worker about something as important as your responsibility?
Wouldn't it be explained by a boss, a superior, or a senior? Would it be in your contract? The important responsibilities should be in writing.
All this depends on the situation, I know. I just thought there might be a more appropriate person to ask.
If they are at the same level as you, there are very many reasons why they were so unclear.
Firstly, I think their motivation was more about being friendly, which to many of us is a caring thing.
Maybe the person was potentially in competition with you.
Perhaps they were terrible at explaining things.
Perhaps they themselves had poor standards. Perhaps they weren't hundred per cent sure.
It seems like they wanted to be friendly and that they didn't see they had a responsibility to give you clear instructions. So it should come from a superior who has the responsibility and is accountable for ensuring that you understand clearly. People can put you wrong and get you in the shit. Asking someone on the same level who has no responsibility to train you, is risky.
I would be annoyed too. But it is a good "lesson" to check thd correct source.
It is usually imperative that you get the correct information right at the start.
Often there is a set period of orientation for receiving the jnitial training.
I live in a culture where many peopld can be indirect. I like to ask people who are wise and also direct sometimes.
There can be further differences.
People who are not bosses are people who don't take on a lot of responsibility. Or they don't enjoy telling everyone what to do.
I am the second among 4 siblings.
My older sister was extremely bossy because she was often in charge of 4 kids. I know eldest siblings who had 5 or 6 younger siblings and were also really bossy.
One aunt left school when her mother died aged 13 to look after 5 children. She was very stern and bossy. My mother's older sibling had 4 who were younger.
Middle children havd to fit in more, and to get along with people younger who need help plus be dominated by bossy siblings.
I hope this will be helpful to someone here.
Because in my life, ALL of the partners I have had- were the oldest in in families of 4, 7 or 8 siblings.
I am just saying that some of us are not the greatest at being very brief and extremely direct. In my culture, women have the added tendency to be pleasant more than being direct.
Men are often far better at being direct and brief.
It is good even you understand other people and where they are coming from.
By the way, I had a nurse orientation me at a new job. She was not very helpful and put very little effort in. I still remember asking which cupboard, out of about 20 cupboards I would find something in and she didn't point at any cupboard, she pointed in thd direction of about half of them. I have heard people say "that's not my job" or " I don't get paid to teach that person how to do their job".
It is quite transformative to look at situations deeply, with the lessons we can learn and understanding others and also ourselves better as our main goal.
I am a person who is rarely concise. A lot of comprehensive thinking goes into my answers and that is hugely annoying to my partner (male, eldest of 4) and my best friend rather masculine, grew up near Germany).
But that is what I love about Ben's podcasts, by the way. He analyzes things and comes up with beautiful ideas and summaries, like these 10 things he eventually understood about Germans.
A final point here is that some cultures really value "talking around" subjects.
There are very important reasons why Maori elders do this. Here, public speaking is an art. And, like your colleague, they know that human relationships are extremely important...not just the specific information that is being passed on.
😂
Well-expressed.
Great, great input.
omg, i habe so viel Hunger!! von alle die Essen das Sie hier ziegen . . .
Dearest Ben, the German society is obviuosly quite hermetic, I can understand you feeling hurt by not being let in completely...but in the first videos you were describing Germany's virtues so enthusiastically and full of hope that it was wonderful to watch, because we as 'Germans' are often critizised about a thousand things...now being disenchanted you have started to believe in the correctness of stereotypes, which is bitter. Please don't give up on Germany completely, there's still good in her...
Haha don’t worry I have not become disenchanted I’m just being honest…somethings l like other not so much😉
I have a different feeling, at first our Brit in Germany was enthusiastic, then he was disillusioned and now he is more balanced and gains the more balanced perspective.
I enjoyed that video and I do concur that today many Germans feel like Germany is struggling and everything is going downhill. On the other hand, I have the same feeling about the UK. Do you think it is the same? Like a global, general trend? Or is the feeling of general discontent in the UK different from that in Germany? And if so, how?
I think it is maybe global but predominately western...we seem to particularly enjoy hating ourselves and our culture in the west...especially places like the UK, germany, the US etc. However I also find that the digital realm is far more negative than real life. If you do a digital detox for a week and are only connected with your immediate surroundings then things actually seem pretty good...I think Germany and the Uk are similar in that they are struggling with identity issues...waning relevance and influence on the world stage is not easy to deal with. on a personal level the cost of living is raising, wages are not and so it just makes life more difficult for the average person...it's always about the money...for the large majority at least
I am very interested in the different ways that different people cope with adversity.
I am a Kiwi. Much like Aussie's I have grown up around the "she'll be right" attitude.
I am often amazed by different groups of people.
For example, the Ukrainian people seem to be a very strong breed of people. The people in Gaza are simply trying to survive and to eat.
I have felt a lot of amazement here in New Zealand, too. I watched lots if people during the pandemic who had lost their businesses. They seemed so strong.
But recently I have also seen a lot.
We had huge, severe floods a year ago. People lost all their belongings and thd lives of loved ones. Many people are still without homes. Men font cry here. But now I have never seen so many men crying in all my life.
But now, people here are being positive in spite of massive fires turning the forests to ugly ash. They know what is important.
In these situations,
people all help eacother...or literally go out and rescue everyone. Helping eachother and brother's keepers seem to help.
I think about the Ukrainian leader, and our Jacinda Ardern and the leaders who get us through...including Winston Churchill and what the incredible Brits did, and the Russians under Stalin.
I think leadership and pulling together are key.
Hopefully for good. Trump, Hitler etc turn out to be divisive and destructive, wallowing in their power.
I think culture is another key. I feel terrible despair coming out of the U.S. And people who lave lost hope. Their needs to be light at the end of the tunnel. But I also noticed a real strength in other Kiwis around me.
We have an extreme right government. They are exploiting and trampling on huge groups of people- beneficiaries, gang members, Maori, renters, workers, unskilled immigrants. Yes, helping rich mates instead.
Maori are strong regarding the mana of their ancestors. Their response is " We will fight". And a friend from the Islands( Pacific) reported back from his mates "We'll see".
The Maori and Pacific people here are accustomed to poverty, hardship and oppression. It's nothing new. Their strength comes from culture and connection with family. Their cultures are staunch and strong. For Maori it is tikanga, their traditional ways which are connected and foundational. Connected to the environment, the universe, to ancestors, to family, and to future generations.
Their energy goes into helping eachother, or their communities.
I understand Gabor Mate who talks about why people are "lost" - through being disconnected.... from everything else, and themselves.
I noted also, the Jewish people...and their support for the IDF.
I am very humbled, seeing the resolve of the Jews...because I am conscious of the past, every day of my life.
I sense there that defeat and despair is avoided in Israel. Like our Maori kaha (strong Maori), Jewish people seem bound in strength.
It seems incredible to me, that what German people could benefit from, they nearly obliterated. And what my British people lacked, we also nearly obliterated. The same is true with the Australians and Americans. When I listen to Aboriginals, African Americans, and the indigenous Americans, I feel the same wisdom but a bit more crushed.
I don't think Jews and Maoris feel despair. They are staunch and have the ancestral wisdom to guide them every second of the day. They are all people who unite and who look after eachother.
So, thinking about Ben's topic and question...those are the Peoples who have literally changed my life and made it infinitely joyful...most of the time.
How can I be descended from Jews and not appreciate every good night's sleep, loved ones around me, every mouthful of food and every human kindness?
I see that German people (have heard them), like to complain, and it is something they advocate. I wouldn't be surprised if despair clouded their country.
Regarding America, I feel very sad for her people.
I think rights should never take over from responsibility.
And thinking your own country is great and that others are not, is rather foolish. To not know about the world and history makes people foolish too.
So I try to resolve that in myself as much as I can.
A lot of Jews and rescuers inspire me, because they faced death and risked death.
I was recently diagnosed with cancer. ( The most likely cause appears to be my long term use of chemicals produced in Germany, by the way).
But facing real problems, losing everything you worked for, your livestock, all your heirlooms, like a shortened life, out of control fires, devastating floods with loss of life, seem to have a sudden affect on us.
All of a sudden there is not much that really matters any more.
Humility and gratitude suddenly balloon to overwhelming proportions. And connection is suddenly urgent and vital.
I feel that one of the liberating and joyful tikanga (ways) is known to every New Zealander is "kotahitanga" . We are all the same, united, everyone is
welcome, no one is better than anyone else.
And also here in NZ is "manaakitanga". We look out for eachother, we check up on eachother and help whoever needs help. And also we have "whanaungatanga". We are family. The family is everything. The school is family. The workplace is family. The neighbourhood is family. Everyone around are family...or highly respected visitors. The whole area is connected.
Jacinda Ardern put it well "they are us"... and "our team of 5 million".
We say "all around the motu", because the Maori language is a softer, more caring, more connected language.
This is actually my version of "lessons learned". Except I didn't have to leave this paradise or cross any ocean to find the wisdom to sustain my whole family and country.
Regarding people moaning or feeling despair? I think there is a lack of guiding principles from ancient wisdom, a lack of appreciation, a lack of strength and a real lack of abundant love. I think German people would be happier if they learned something
from the people they oppress or oppressed. Then they might stop focusing on what they can gain or hold onto. Like some one mentioned, control not trust it's the difference between self focus and manaakitanga.
Interesting as always
Hello mate, I would just like to say that you have similarity to Jürgen Vogel, a german actor. Have a good one :)
Your comments on lifein my home country are very helpful and balanced. We are blunt, but it helps to clear the coast whenever there is a problem.
We are slow in making friends but once you have made a friend, it’s for keeps. Die Westfalen sagen von sich, dass man erst eine Tonne Salz mit ihnen gegessen haben muss, um Freund/in zu werden. We re a bit slow in this respect but we care. What I deplore, witnessed in trams in Dortmund, is the growing rudeness/racism. That really bothers/worries me. The notion that the country of birth may prejudice the “natives”, is unfortunately part of the “Zeitgeist”. Die AuchFürchterlichDemagogische Partei zeigt, wie sehr die BRD kämpfen muss. I am relieved that tens of thousands of my compatriots stand up to fight intolerance, hatred, misogyny. Thank you for keeping us posted. You should go into politics like Mr. McAllister, MEP. 😊
Haha I couldn't think of anything worse to go into than politics 🤣 but thanks for your insights
This is such a beautiful comment.
I have seen prejudice in lots of comments I have read. It is lovely that you and your compatriots stand up. I wouldn't want to be prejudiced myself and think that everyone is like that in one country. If is shocking to hear of that behaviour on trains etc.
It means a lot to me to know that people stand up against that inhumane treatment of innocent people.❤❤❤
Well, you could ask yourself why that happens. The childish idea is to stop there and think that people just become more adversarial, rude, rac*st for no apparent reason, just because. Chances are you're suffering from your own blind spots and miss some significant part of the picture.
I just wanted to comment on the Brexit part - I totally agree with you that it felt like a break-up situation for many Europeans (Austrian here). Personally I felt sad about it, but I tried never to take it out on my brit friends - ok there might have been some banter.
On another note, that Schnitzel in the opening sequence looks vile, I would like to invite you to Vienna and take you for a proper Schnizel! 😅
Thank you very much for the nice video. Could you kindly give information about how to find flat to rent in Germany, Thank you
Hej 👋
I hope you are well!
A German here 😅
I think cultural stereotypes are important, but I like to look up what stereotypes the people of that culture have about themselves, instead of relying on, often very colored, stereotypes about cultures.
To be German: The whole exceptions of the rule thing though - what you mean is every rule has an exception. The other one is a legal term as in parking allowed from 10:00 to 18:00. The rule is that parking is forbidden, the exception is the one written on a sign. Legally it proves the rule: parking is forbidden
To be blunt and direct is just more efficient than beating around the bush.
"More Efficient". Speaking what is on your mind does Not equate to "Honesty". Germans Rarely question their own motivations and it comes across in their justifications for being Rude.
Efficient, possibly; but would it be effective? Who knows.
It's amazing how much Germany seems to resemble what is said about living in France yet France gets shit on immensely while it is forgotten that it's really just a country at the intersection of Roman and Germanic values. People are more direct, the customer is not king, people generally seem to complain more, collectivism is valued more than individualism, having to be patient while dealing with bureaucracy, so on and so forth. That said, as someone who enjoys reading about European culture and history, the general idea I've read is that the French critique more than the Germans but that the Germans just generally allow themselves to be grumpier.
For me as a German who moved to France it's like you're talking about France ... 😁 If you think, for example, that Service isn't a thing in Germany, you have to live for a while in France. I think there's not even a word for "Service" in the french language. ^^
Hallo Benjamin... ich beobachte aber auch, dass Leute gar nicht mehr reagieren, wenn Regelverstöße passieren.... man denkt sich... egal... ich muss mich nicht über jeden Scheiß aufregen.... im Zug benutze ich mittlerweile einen NOISE REDUCER...
nonetheless I like the way you offer your view on Germany...
I think that is the case in the larger cities. They do kind of develop a culture of their own
@@britingermany Marburg is not a big city... but a Universitätsstadt
you are having a point... I'd say
How long did it take you before you could start reading decent books in German, by decent I mean Thomas Mann etc. Thanks
I am guilty of taking your country's (Brexit) decisions personally. But I would be grateful for clear explanations from Brexiteers and would have no problems at all with Remainers.
I promise to be blunt and honest in a discussion. I can't promise politeness, though.
I find it unfair to judge British people negatively because of Brexit. Britons had different opinions about the EU before, and they do now. You can't tell an individual's position just from being British. Even if leaving the EU for good seems a bit extreme, there are worthwhile reasons to criticise its constitution and policies. Also being outside of the EU isn't the end of the world. We don't view Switzerland or Norway negatively for not being EU members, and we got along fine with Britain before it joined the EC (as it was then).
Well, Norway and Switzerland are EFTA members..
I have lived in Germany since 1975. I find that most of the things talked about in this video applied then, but Germany has changed radically since then. I find Germany is a much more liberal and open country than GB. But then GB has probably changed a lot since then too. One great thing about Germany is the lack of class distinction. The statements about the hardness, toughness and efficiency of Germans are mere cliches. The story about road rage could happen anywhere. I have never found it difficult to find friends in Germany. Of course , talking English is strenuous for most Germans, so consequently making friends is much easier if you speak the language fluently. You have to be able to convey the meaning behind the words and be capable of innuendo and irony, and this may well take more than 10 years.
i am german and i have been living in the uk for over 30 years and i would say the best things about england is the politeness, the good manners and the excellent british media and wetherspoons, of course,... and all these wonderful charity shops where you can always discover something amazing. britain is a much more humane and friendly country than germany.
The media.... it is a very mixed blessing, is it not? All the way from excellent to excrescence
@@srinivaschillara4023I agree ❤
"Excellent British media and Wetherspoons"?
Are you talking about DailyTer☆☆r and sticky carpets at Brexitters Wetherpoons, who is complaining now because of lack of staff since Brexit?
Well...
🎉🎉🎉
Being a British citizen who has lived in Germany for almost 50 years, I could not imagine going back to the UK to live. Plus years ago the rumours of Brexit made me apply for German citizenship.
Good riddance.
would you mind sharing your experience and the reasln why you wouldnt want to go back?
@@Ms84Jessa
Downsizing of living standards by about 30-40 % as stated by my London born spouse, who also had to get dual citizenship because of Brexit...
@@valeriedavidson2785Ditto.
I lived in Germany for almost 13 years. I found many Germans unhelpful while learning the language - often impatient and eager to switch to English. You constantly have to insist on keeping it in German.
Yes I also had this experience at first. But interestingly not anymore. I find that many Germans are actually not confident speaking English and don't enjoy it that much...maybe it's just because I speak German now and they feel that I will pick up on their mistakes because I am a native English speaker....🤷♂️
It depends on the importance and the level of german, if I speak english or german. If i have to explain every sentence, I would switch to english, if I was not sure to be understood correctly, I would switch to english.
Talking to someone, who has permanently a question mark floating above his head is quite exhausting (don't want to say annoying).
But.. I've finished school about 30+ years ago, so i'm not very confident about my english speaking ability.
So.. If you ask me for the direction randomly in the street, I would answer in english. If we were in a casually talking environment and I knew, you would love to improve your german, I would speak german
@@kilsestoffel3690 this. i had collegues from china, india, arabian peninsula. when i was working wiith them and had to explain stuff to them, i did it in english, because in german they were barely able to communicate. and even in english there were just big question marks above their heads.
And it was not really that much of a complex task i had to explain in most cases.
Our Brexit is WW2. It's annoying how often as a German you are confronted with this abroad, even though you thought it was too long in the past to still be important to other people.
Yes I know it’s hard to leave that behind.
@@britingermany Well ,not for us, but for the other peoples evidently. What is not helping is, that in the US they teach mostly WW2 about Germany in school. So they learn almost nothing about the modern Germany.
Comparing Brexit with WW2😂
What do you mean, "Our Brexit is WW2?"
I have often thought it must be very hard, being reminded of "WW2".
@@IIIOOOUS I always feel like a lot of the other countries (especially the USA) are somehow obsessed with WW2. And sometimes they tread you as if you've been a part of it. If you're German you are guilty it's what they are implying.
The 'putting people in boxes' part is interesting. I'd venture a guess that it's down to two things. a) Germans tend to have a strong Socratic streak, treating things as accepted facts that are subject to examination and change. So, a bunch of people may just make assumptions about you as a Brit after Brexit and if you clarify your own views, many might switch. Of course, they'll also need to talk about it to manage their cognitive dissonance. b) You are talking about people who spent their entire life feeling judged by other people about what some insane Austrian dude and their great grandparents did 80 years ago, which seems reasonable seeing how that era is treated in popular culture.
What is the deal all of a sudden with You-tubers asking people to comment in English only under their videos?
1. This is a social platform and all comments should be welcome no matter the language they are posted in.
2.This is the internet, it is so easy to translate a comment that you can actually post a response in a language you don't even speak or know.
I don't know about every one else but my browser will translate comments in any language simply by clicking on the text.
I fail to see the problem.
To the content creator.
Your need to ask people to post in English only under your video resulted in me posting this comment rather than listening to your video.
Do germans accept directness when applied on them???
.
yes , they do .
.
@@ritahorvath8207
Not according to my experience
@@raedardiy2661 Well... depends on the experience I think. But it's a very interesting question you rise. I think, what people from other cultures call "German directness" has maybe something to do with the topic of "following the rules". Because of the rules we have, the Germans think they are entitled to say something (like the matter with the shoes on the seat).
One Sunday in my neighbourhood someone was cleaning a car with a very loud machine. This is forbidden on Sundays - so I went over and told him very friendly to please stop this work. He said "It's my premise and I can do what I want" in a not so friendly voice. So I called his employer with my request and a short time later the noise stopped. The next Sunday it was just the same, so I called the police. This kind of "directness" has to do with following the rules.
But nobody would say to a person which we don't know - let's say "Your nose is too big" or whatever. There exists also politeness here. The key is maybe the honesty which we - most of the time - try to be. And because honesty makes you vulnerable we are probably a suspicious bunch and it will take a time to know us better.
@@Morellas4
No my experience has nothing to do with rules and i am not so rude to make fun of big noses, it's more about ethics, the directness I dislike is when I am in a shopping mall and could not find a certain product and then I found a co-worker and ask him/her very kindly to help me find it and then get a kind of dead eyes and angery face telling me it's normal not to find it in this part so it's another way to say "you are dumb " and when I say I know that but I came here to talk to you "with a smile " and then she/he gets offended, I really hate these situations I avoid asking german workers in such situations in order not to go home thinking about these direct and honest conversations, and fortunately i could respond quickly in german, think about those who still could not respond in german how many bad experiences they should carry every weak, and how bad this is going to influence their quality of life in Germany.
@@raedardiy2661 I understand. Do you think it is related to you being of another culture? Because my experience as a German seems not different. I always plaster on my friendliest face before I ask someone in a shop when i couldn't find something - and I'm always prepared for exactly this rude behaviour you describe. The best you could get seems a wave of the hand in a non-descript direction and a short "over there". I hate it and also feel not good about it, it always makes me angry.
I'm very sorry for this behaviour. But I think it's not always about ethnics. I often wonder why people work in shops if they just don't like customers. It's - alas - very common here, you're right.
My wife, Russian, even noticed that some Germans not only directly say what they dislike etc., but they also cannot help themselves doing the corresponding facial expressions, for example, in the tram. It just bursts out of every hole :) She thinks Germans are intense people, especially after living in the UK, where people avoid interacting too much with each other.
Anyway, if you think Germans are rude or hard to make friends with, try Paris or other regions of France. People are less direct there and not much friendlier.
I don't think directness is a good thing. Many people in Germany simply let their thoughts out or suppress their feelings and say nothing, because they are incapable of conflict. They simply haven't learned how to deal with problems.
Directness is actively confronting the problem and managing the conflict.
When you got a problem you have to voice it and adress it.
When you are just talking around the pudding (german figure of speech similar to beating around the bush) you are not confronting the problem itselfand are avoiding conflict.
@@zhufortheimpaler4041 I don´t think so, if you are too direct it can be hurtful. If you give a hint to a problem, you also give yourself room to be wrong.
@@IIIOOOUS then the other side has to make a guess what your problem might be. Wich would again be unsatisfactory, because the other side cant look into your head
You are not getting what I mean.It is better to say: "We could try it that way", instead of" we have to do it that way." for example.
@@IIIOOOUS iits better to point out where someone made a mistake, because then the person knowas where to correct and why the error was made.
French or Spanish are extremely difficult to learn. If you know any of these it’s insanely easy to learn German😂 (a biased German)
Thank you for your views as always.
"Germans are too honest to be polite and Brits are too polite to be honest." I've heard that phrase a couple of times and I always wonder if it is truly polite to be dishonest to please someone. E.g. if you receive a gift that you do not like at all, is it polite to claim you enjoy it like nothing you ever got before - so that you may get a similar gift next time and have to fake your excitement once again? Wouldn't it be more polite to say something like "thank you very much, I know you wanted to make me happy with this but I just do not have any use for it"? It may sound harsh but by doing this, you actually open up more to the other person and allow the person to get to know you better while the seemingly "polite" option would just be to remain a stranger to the other person, not opening up and holding up fake pretence. This fake pretence is something I struggle very much with whenever I visit the UK or other places where it seems to be ingrained into people.
Well being polite is not about getting to know people...it's a socially constructed constraint on human behaviour...which essentially serves to keep people close but not too close...maybe it's a bit of a defence mechanism...there are degrees of course and you are more likely to be "honest" with friends or family than with strangers
If someone is thoughtful and kind enough to give you a gift it seems to me that you are throwing their kindness in their face if you do not express gratitude. After all as is often said, "It is the thought that counts". Being brutally honest may increase the chance of the other person buying a 'better' gift for you next time, but what about the other person's feelings. Human interaction is not all about self.
@@gdok6088 Yes! A point that is not easily understood in Germany. If efficiency in achieving more suitable gifts for yourself is your aim, then blunt honesty is the way to go. Politeness with its implied lack of candour serves different ends. These are kindness and consideration for others' feelings.
British people don't realize how much Germans like us. Germans don't realize how much British people don't like them. That pains me.
Hi, has this channel's name changed recently? I remember it differently
Yes…although I’m thinking about changing it back
@@britingermany Oh, wonder if my subscription will stay with you then? Don't want to lose you in the vastness of the Internet!
hi. I believe, you are waaay smarter than you'd choose to show off. thanks, for all.
Haha I would have to disagree with you there but thanks for saying so
@@britingermany that answer might be a proof of what I try to tell. and you're welcome, my pleasure 🤗
It is a good thing people are told they are breaking rules.... here in The Netherlands people are afraid to say anything, like if there's too much noise in a public space from earphones (as a reaction people start to wear their own earphones so they can close off from their surroundings) and when you see someone put their feet with their dirty shoes on a seat where other people have to sit, people more often than not are not saying anything anymore because they will get an aggressive response ... by the way, many expats from the Anglo-Saxon world or so you want from the former, collapsed, British empire, tend to talk about the Dutch the same as you are talking about the Germans: very direct, rude and difficult to befriend ... and at the same time these expats are not making an effort to integrate, they socialise with other expats, preferably with expats from similar cultures, not learning the language (like you are talking about) and keep on complaining about how difficult the Dutch are or how much of a nuisance their Dutch neighbours are when they themselves are making more noise than the regular Dutch citizen likes. And it is not helping that we Dutch quickly response back in English when others are trying to speak Dutch ... It is probably smart the Germans still have their shops closed on Sunday... here in The Netherlands I am sure there are smaller towns and villages that also still have their shops closed on Sunday's but in the Randstad, in the big cities, shops are open 7 days per week... One quiet day per week, like we used to have in The Netherlands also, gives people a resting point, a days where life slows down a bit. But then again when we did have these quiet Sundays I was always wishing for the shops to be opened...
I love how nice and thoughtful you are describing life in Germany. I'm American and moved here FOR my husband, who is German. In the beginning, it was fascinating learning the culture and language, but as time went on, I've become more introverted than I was originally. I spend time alone with our dog and/or with my husband, which I like.
I do love Sundays when everything is closed except for imbiss, restaurants, and bakeries. And I love their bakeries.
Now, I stopped learning the language to avoid discussions, and my last medical provider experience has cured me of ever being treated in Germany again.
There is a difference between bluntness and zero filter. Germans don't filter their thoughts.
When my husband retires, I would love to move to Britain and/or Ireland.