Mark, thank you very much for speaking out on this hidden disease. After having OCD for much of my 54 years of life, I have finally started successfully (with a year of therapy) to conquer this disease. I'm realizing this is more of an ongoing war than just winning a final battle. Your videos are fantastic because they really reinforce a lot of the valuable guidance I've gotten in therapy. Thank you for speaking on this unspoken disease.
The paradox of recovery : "If you really want to experience it less ,you will have to experience it more first". Do the opposite. Although it's "extremely" difficult. But I know I have no choice but to do it. It's the only way out from Ocd. Thank you very much💙. 💟God bless you for helping all of us who struggles immensely
His point: Don't give into the compulsions, expose yourself to higher anxiety. (This will reduce compulsions and anxiety). You don't have to or need to, it will take you to an unhealthy, vicious cycle.
My compulsions are mostly imagined compulsions, i indulge in Q&A with my mind, always come disguised like something very important and no matter how many times i try to make peace with it, it doesn't leave. I hope this helps the next time it comes around
Hey mark, thank you for this amazing tips, just wanted to let you know that because of you I got the strength to treat my OCD, you're my role model, thanks for the motivation!
Wow i have only just found your videos recently & they have helped me so much you explain things so well thank you Mark you have really helped with trying to overcome my OCD!
Checking, ruminating, avoiding things or events that will cause me anxiety are my problem.. I cant enjoy my life anymore and i am so tired doing all of my compulsions everyday until i found your videos here in TH-cam.. Your message or your advice here is my inspiration to battle my mental illness Thank you so much mark, you are truly a godsend, please do more videos, dont stop what you are doing and god bless... PS.. Sorry for The wrong grammar, i am not good in english haha!! Anyway thanks again...
For some people, baby steps is what is more effective...but for those who can jump right in and manage to defeat their OCD...they deserve an award! I have incredibly powerful OCD, along with Asperger's, and starting a channel was MY beginning to help myself and others! Great video!
I have been diagnosed with OCD and given a booklet to work from. An introduction to coping with OCD by Lee Brosan and advised to work from the Intrusive thoughts chapter. To summarize it states setting aside 10 to 30 mins a day to have the thoughts that cause anxiety. I think it works along the lines of e.g first day at school(anxiety very high) 200 school days later? You get used to the thoughts and they stop seeming so frightening. I was also advised to practice mindfulness by a psychiatrist here in England. Things have improved e.g I spent nearly a year off work with OCD, but last year had no time off at all. However I am always going to "punch hard". Anyway thanks for your interest and I wish you continued good health.
It is effecting my work My passions My relationships The things I can’t or won’t do now is crazy. I eat & thought I recall when I could do this or that & not think about it. I feel really strong when I watch the videos Then I do the compulsions. I have to really do it if it’s something I avoid & I have to stop the compulsions I get it logically & like you said it’s really difficult. I’m stronger than this & I don’t want the guilt if I happen to be controlling the situations . When I say it outloud it sounds ridiculous to myself yet in that moment it’s the realest thing I have experienced. Thanks for the info & guidance
It helped me to approach it like reclaiming territory. Wherever we've put the brain in charge of work, passions, and relationships... those are territories we can reclaim!
Also i feel that this struggle to resist the compulsion is worth the energy than the energy thst you put to overthink If feel its like when you wake uo early, at the end of the day u feel tired but in a good way. Youve accomplished a lot and feel exhausted but again in a good way. Its not lile if you stayed up late and then woke uo late -》 there the fatigue is much more uncomfortable
Thats funny because i feel that at the begining this feeling is not funny at all but then you feel even when its difficult its quite satisfying to feel that to feel that you resist that storm
How do you not react though? That is the part that confuses me. If I see a trigger and just stop I feel like that is suppression which could be considered a compulsion too. For example, say I have an intrusive though and I try to pause my mind from reacting I feel like that is doing more harm than good because I'm trying to control the outcome. Does that make sense?
Abi, I'm stuck in this frame of mind too, in fact my obsessions and compulsions are around a breakup recently and how I'm not worthy as a person, poor socially and I judge everyone else to be much better. The same thoughts repeat each day and consume so much time that I could spend feeling good or doing things I like with 100% commitment. I feel the thoughts and the reactions to them happen so quickly and automatically I can't step in to simply accept the thinking as OCD. However the simple fact is that at some stage you notice what's going on and its THEN that you tell yourself this is OCD and to simply accept the thoughts and feelings that are there. The problem is as OCD sufferers we have perfectionist tendencies and we feel that if we didn't quite catch the thought at the right time - that equals failure and what's the point now... It's not true, every time you notice and begin to say it's just OCD and now I'll continue to love my son and think of ways to better his life then your making progress... After that it's the trust in the fact that this will work.
When I say "It" I mean your OCD. Abi...just don't fight it. Whenever you have an intrusive thought, or a trigger that causes an intrusive thought, allow your mind to experience that anxiety. Just...do NOT engage in conversation with It. Do not even attempt to form the question. In other words you feel that anxiety, you may wish to form questions in your head, putting out energy toward it by forming those questions, just don't. Let it be and it WILL fade away. Hopefully I explained it right. Again, when the intrusive thought occurs, don't engage in conversation of any sort with It. Just let it be and focus your attention on something else, even while the anxiety is haunting you. As long as you don't show any attention to it by way of conversation, it will fade. I' m an OCD sufferer (mostly pure O ) of 22 years.
I have social anxiety due to obsessive thinking and over analyzing with all forms of communication. I am constantly thinking ''is this going well, is this what you would consider a flow of conversation, am i enjoying the conversation, am i engaging in the conversation well, why am i so anxious right now-'' and so on and so on. I also tend to make up happy imaginary scenarios in my head. Like me having a good time with people and what my life would be like without my anxiety, and me living in a state where I am enjoying myself. I often do this along with music and will walk around the house just imagining I am in a whole different world- haha very strange I know. Are these considered impulsion?
Susie Velasquez I do it very often though, imagining myself in a whole different state. It calms me and makes me happy but I realize it isn't reality and I would say I am pretty dependent on it.
Susie Velasquez Does it make you happy or would you be happier learning how to enjoy social situations with other people? One thing that I found useful was recognizing that anxiety wasn't the problem--me reacting to anxiety was the problem. And it also helped to recognize that judging the conversation, judging my feelings, judging how others are responding, are all compulsions. They are things I can choose to do or choose not to do. And if I choose to do them, I'm going to make myself anxious and I'll prevent myself from actually engaging in the conversation. It is possible to cut out the compulsions, accept the worries in our heads, and engage with people the way we want to in life. Enjoy accepting these anxieties and having fun with other people!
***** honestly I just wanted to say for the past two years since high school I've been searching for answers and thanks to you I realize me searching was the problem. I Can't thank you enough for these videos and helping me get on track with my life. Because of you I'm learning to cope and I just wanted to thank you for everything.
I've got this real urge in checking almost everything such as lights, door locks and even taps and what i will tend to do is go back and check again even though i know I've checked it. it's very hard to stop the checks now as I've made a habit of doing it 2 to about 3 times. its like as if there is no off switch in my brian to say it's locked or it's closed. I'm trying to not go back and check but i feel like if i don't it will annoy me the whole time until i do.
A helpful way to get over this is to stop wanting to know that it's locked or closed. As long as you chase that certainty, your brain will keep giving you those uncertainties so you can check and try to be certain. But the more you want that certainty, the more your brain will doubt it for you, until you get to a point where you can see it's locked and touch it to be certain it's locked and still your brain will question if it's locked. But I found it useful to recognize this was a problem with my desires. As long as I wanted that certainty, I was committing myself to be tortured by uncertainty.
Same here, checking everything is my problem too.. I always want to make sure that everything are okay and nothing bad is going to happened... Right now, i am doing all my best to stop my compulsions or not engaging in my daily rituals.. Im telling you, my goodness its so painful, its so difficult, i feel like i am going crazy..
I’m quite confused with what I’m going through because I would have obsessions and do compulsions before and it didn’t make me anxious but now I feel anxious all the time and I’m just scared that I’m doing something wrong it can be very overwhelming because I try to identify my compulsions and when I try not doing them I get very anxious. So I’m not sure if I’m avoiding the rights things or not. 💚💚
I’ve recently been doing CBT, and lots of what you say aligns very closely with it. I find your way of explaining exceptional, and I’ve even directed my own therapist to your content. On the subject of compulsions, I’ve identified a vast number of compulsive behaviour in my life, which I know is compulsive as I rationally know I don’t need to do, but do anyway. Would you opt for tackling them all head on (like a boot camp) or working on each one individually in the hope of building confidence in dealing with uncertainty, thereby gaining momentum?
So the thoughts may very well never stop, but eventually through the exposure with resistance...you can overcome the compulsion. I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to change thoughts.
I find that tackling the compulsions is the way to go, and the thoughts just take care of themselves over time. There's research that shows it's the compulsions that create the thoughts, that today's compulsion is what leads to tomorrow's obsession. We see it as obsession-then-compulsion, but it actually goes compulsion-then-obsession. Something I found helpful was recognizing that if I don't like the thoughts, I shouldn't choose to engage in the compulsion today, because that's just going to lead to the unwanted thoughts tomorrow. All the best with overcoming the compulsions!
Many thanks for your video's. They are a great help especially the terrible thoughts and mindfulness video's. What I have started doing now is like ERP for intrusive thoughts which cause anxiety. This is where I repeat the thought to myself 10 minutes a day without reacting in any way. Is this a good idea? even though I am feeling super anxious.
You're welcome. I'm glad you've found them helpful. As for what you described, I can't know very much about your ERP practice from a couple of sentences. If you're working with a therapist, then it'd be best to speak with them. If you haven't spoken with somebody to help plan this out, it really can help to work with somebody that's experienced with helping people use ERP to recover from OCD. It's a lot like exercising--it can take lots of trial-and-error to learn how to do it well on your own, or you can just talk with an experienced personal trainer and they can quickly show you how to do it and get moving towards your goals. At the very least, it can help to follow some kind of ERP workbook that has great reviews.
Hello Mark i have a question and would appreciate if you can answer it. I'm dealing with a branch of ocd (hocd) and it causes me to obsess about something which leads to compulsions. The thing is I have just started to cut out compulsions and would like to know if it takes time for obsessions to lessen as compulsions are cut off.
Yes, it takes time. Check out my video on "The Uncertainty Curve". That's about a method for tracking and understanding the process as the anxiety rises and the drops off. BUT also make sure you're not confusing a mental compulsion with an obsession. Sometimes people will cut out the external compulsion but just replace it or continue with lots of internal ruminating and compulsive thinking to try to be certain. Just because something is in your head, doesn't mean it isn't a compulsion. If you're trying to be certain in your head or by doing something outside of your head to be certain, then you're still in compulsion territory. The obsession is the initial intrusive thought. But any reaction to that intrusive thought/feeling/urge is a compulsion.
Are there ever sort of conflicting needs when it comes to OCD and other facets of life? For example, say someone with OCD has diabetes. Their doctor recommends they check their blood sugar multiple times a day. Obviously, this is a checking behavior, but it is necessary for the person to live and be healthy, so they can adjust their medicine. Yet, it is fairly frequent checking, but out of necessity. Yet, the person also wants to recover from OCD and knows that this is a checking behavior and gets really worried that the checking will stop them from recovering or being anxiety free. This is obviously not as great a situation to be in as someone who has no need to check anything, but is the person with diabetes able to get better? If they check only out of necessity and no more, can they still live reasonably free without anxiety? I mean, it has to be OCD to think "No, you must not check!", even though the voice is technically correct, but the situation requires some flexibility with this... Would love to hear back from you, Mark.
There are many things in life that require us to check, like the example you gave. Somebody who is piloting an airplane or a ship or a train would have many different things to check as well. Or if you're going off on a trip, you might want to take all of the things you need. They key to making this healthy for me is in why I do it. OCD is about trying to avoid things--ie: checking so something bad doesn't happen. Recovery is all about going to a healthy place, it's not about avoiding a bad place. So making the shift from checking to avoid something, to checking to create something is a really beneficial cognitive shift. When your brain throws worries at you, it's trying to help you. If you check to avoid something, your brain is going to start urging you to check more, because you want to avoid that thing from happening, but how will you know it's not happening if you don't check?! But when you check something to create a positive experience, then you're not wrestling with fear and there's no worry for your brain to throw back at you later. It's the same action, but intention matters.
***** That really helps a lot..like a TON, thank you Mark. I think making a video on these sort of "paradoxes" that arise in recovery from OCD would be a great topic to discuss in the future. As always, thank you for doing what you do. I recommend your videos to people all the time. I've ever corrected my therapist once or twice thanks to info from your videos! :)
Hello Mark, I have a question. When I run across stressful situation and experience nasty feeling and thoughts and try to deal with them by trying to be mindful, like start to watch my breath, my sensations while, actually, there is no time to do that because I supposed to pay attention to people and participate in activity, isn't it a compulsion? Can meditation become a compulsion? Also, when I experience such stressful situations and I see that I don't do what I want because of anxiety, I tremble a lot and things really tough at that moment, I try to remind myself of what I want to do in this situation, like what I would happy to achieve or what skills I want to improve and often can't come up with any idea and tend to feel more worry because of it. Thanks in advance. P.S. I really bad want to join discord channel, I hope to find some support there. I tried to do so wia website but hadn't received an invitation on my email yet.
Sometimes I get the urge to do a compulsion, and I think I will have a "better life" if I do the compulsion, which then makes me wondering If it's really a compulsion. How should I handle this?
That's very standard. I don't know why that would make somebody think it's not a compulsion. In my book I called that "Addict Math". We can always think of rational-sounding reasons to convince ourselves to do compulsions. That's why I say that doing healthy actions instead of the compulsions will be UNREASONABLE.
hi And Thank You for your help , i just wanted to ask You how long do we have to do erp ? how many sessions And how long a session ? And how do we know we've made a progress ?
ERP involves cutting out physical or mental compulsions. So the very first time you cut out a compulsion, you've made progress! That's one of the reasons I like ERP--you make progress right away and if you follow a structured process of cutting out a compulsion each week, you'll make preferred each week. How long you do it for depends on how many compulsions you have in your life. I'm not sure what you mean by how long a session would be. You'll most likely be cutting out compulsions in your everyday life. For example, if you went out the door and didn't check if it was locked, that would be a common ERP exercise. You might do some exercises with your therapist during a therapy session but that would be something to discuss with a therapist. I did therapy for six months, meeting a therapist each week to report back on the compulsion I'd cut out that week, and to plan the next compulsion to tackle.
I suffer from compulsions because when I get intrusive thoughts I need to repeat my behaviour and think of a thought that replaces the bad thoughts. I constantly repeat my behaviour because of this.
Banana Milk It can help to recognize that it's actually the other way around: You keep having intrusive thoughts because you engage in compulsions. The more you try to replace bad thoughts, the more bad thoughts your brain will give you. You can stop repeating the behaviours. Start with cutting out easier compulsions and work up to the toughest.
Me too I feel your pain It is really strong & I can’t stop even though I know people may be looking and judging It effects my work. I’m really trying to stop them & using Marks videos to help I’m going to make this the beginning I know your message is 6 yrs old. How are you doing now thank you I hope you are good
But what if the compulsion is a thought?How do you say , I won't check?I get it how you cut compulsions in the physical world,but how you cut them if they are just thoughts?I just read your book and i didn't get that.
It can help to see that there's a difference between thoughts and thinking. You're in charge of thinking. It's an action. So checking inside my heads is no different than checking outside my head. If I try to bring up a memory to check what happened, that's the same as going into the kitchen to check if the stove is off. I'm choosing to move my awareness around to check something. Here's a video on thoughts vs thinking that explains more: th-cam.com/video/VnDsZSIWUDU/w-d-xo.html
@@everybodyhasabrain What if the compulsions are too strong and real or what if the paranoia is about mental ilness?What i mean:f.e i went today to the bank to pay my therapist and two euro notes where fake, and i started the absolute paranooia,what if my boss gave them in porpuse?What if police will get me?why this happened when i wanted to pay my therapist? now I don't trust even the therapists and this happened when i read your book and i tried everything you said and now i have suspicious unwanted thoughts about the whole psychology and every thought i have is so strange.I mean i csn recognize that this are just thoughts but what if the paranoid thoughts are about the recovery itself?What if my suspicious thoughts are real?What if my boss really gave them in porpuse?What if this time is different and now my worst fears come true and i will be comppetely helpless?sorry if it was too complicated,i hope you understood what i meant.
@@everybodyhasabrain Whatever i think, there's always a suspicious or catastrophic thought that brings me back to the start.A never ending loop.Even when i think ok do this so you'll stop the uncertainty then my mimd goes,what if this thought about uncertainty is suspicious too?etc etc and it goes forever...
@@makunpi But that's because trying to stop the uncertainty is the problem, not the solution. Of course the more you do those compulsions, the more your brain will invent uncertainties to chase with more compulsions. The "solutions" are fueling it, not helping.
Hey Mark, is it not true that some things do require checking? That sometimes reassurance seeking is necessary? That sometimes taking precautions to avoid problems is the right thing to so? For example labeling everything that has to do with checking as being a compulsion, that sounds kind of extreme and potentially dangerous. What do you think?
Mark Freeman ok well I'm afraid i might have done something horrible that can lead to a catastrophe and i want to check in order to make sure I didn't do it.
What if I don’t do the compulsion? And it causes something to happen? That what I don’t understand. It feel so real, that something will happen if I don’t do it. I don’t know how to take the risk 😢
It always feels very real, and the brain always has great arguments for doing compulsions! What you're describing is very normal. It could be useful to connect with a good workbook or skilled professional to start learning mental health skills.
Hey Mark I watched many of your videos and its really helpful. You are doing a wonderful job. I don't have any physical compulsion but I suffer from mental compulsions. Like whenever I get any Intrusive thought in my mind I would say some word or phrases. I want to ask if stopping yourself repeating the words is not a kind of thought stopping. I am really confused. What I noticed is I can Stop the words from repeating in my head but its really hard. My brain keeps telling me to repeat the word. How to solve this.Any help would be appreciated.
+Alia Singhania Thanks, Alia. I'm glad you've found them helpful. No, not saying the words isn't "thought stopping". Repeating those words/phrases is a compulsion. It's ok if your brain is trying to get you to do something. You don't have to listen to it. When we do any kind of exercise, physical or mental, our brains often try to get us to stop, to slow down, to sit down. But we can accept that our brain wants that and still do healthy things instead of falling back into compulsions.
+Mark Freeman Thank you so much for reply. I have suffered through this problem since a month and there are my exams in 2 months. Please suggest me some exercises or some ways so that I can fully concentrate on my studies. I am realy worried whether I would be able to study or not because of this problem.Please help.
Alia Singhania Overcoming OCD is totally possible but it's a process. I think it's really important to recognize that the compulsions that are bothering you are only a small part of the entire OCD beast. There are many changes involved in building better mental health and fitness. You could work with a therapist that's experienced with helping people recover or get some books on practicing Acceptance & Commitment Therapy--there are many different ways to tackle OCD. But I would recommend tackling it holistically, rather than focusing just on a specific thing.
Mark Freeman Mark can you explain what you mean by tackling it holistically? How can i do that? I have a specific thought that has been bothering me for months, so should i cut out certain behaviors in other areas of my life in order to stop that intrusive thought from appearing?
Yeah but to what do I have to expose myself to when the obsessive thought is mental? It’s easy to do response prevention to physical compulsions but if my obsessive thought is a sound go I do the erp? Honestly am trying to under the process itself with mental compulsions
@athinameleti1738 The exposure is the uncertainty or thought or image or whatever. If the thought already popped up, you're exposed! Now it'll be useful to explore cutting out the compulsions. That's no different for mental stuff. Every day you choose to give your attention to some things over other things, or you choose to think back through one event instead of another. You're constantly making choices about the actions you do in your head and already know how to make changes with that.
@ so first step is to live parallel to it all a day just by swifting my interest in other things in my day! But does the exposure helps somebody if he repeats the thought 💭 fo reassurance ?
@athinameleti1738 But repeating the thought for reassurance IS an example of a compulsion. I don't know what you mean by asking if "exposure helps". The source of the problem is the compulsion. That's like drilling holes in your boat and asking if a dance will help the boat float.
@@everybodyhasabrain I mean that by checking the thought i am all day in an exposure mode as it’s in my head all day long or at least most of the day! So how I stop this kind so compulsion?
@athinameleti1738 You're the one doing the checking. It could help to look more broadly at the goals you're pursuing. Like if you have a goal to get rid of the thought or to get reassurance you don't like it, those are no different than somebody with a contamination compulsion setting a goal to feel clean. Then they'll naturally have the opposite experience they want and will just keep doing the compulsion again and again. There are likely many other compulsions going on throughout life with the same pattern as well. So taking a more compete approach and grabbing a good book or course or working with a professional could be useful ways to start learning
Sometimes it happens to me that me treating my ocd becomes a compulsion on its own , becouse i feel i try to do it perfectly and I constantly look for more compulsions to cut out. This causes a lot of stress in my life and also causes more ocd sometimes. Anyone here who has had a similar problem?
I used to think I 'had' to check too, that it was impossible to not check. But then I thought, what if I had no hands or I was in handcuffs or something. Then I would be able to not check. Im just too spoiled that I have hands to check things with. ;) Sorry im spamming
Hello Mark I am unable to figure out my compulsion. Whenever I see some object I would utter words that doesn't mean anything in my mind. For example saying fuck table, mad chair and so on. Sometimes I find it next to impossible to not utter the words. Anyhow I resist uttering the words nowadays, but I want to know if that's my compulsion of not uttering words or uttering the word is a compulsion, I am really confused. How to do ERP in my case? Are themes like this possible in OCD. Please do respond as I really need help.
Sounds like a compulsion...pretty well first the definition. What do you mean by you wonder which is the compulsion? If you feel compelled to utter the words, that is the compulsion. ERP would most likely be exposing yourself to things that trigger you to want to say those words and then resist doing it.
I'm not sure what thought stopping is but I've found it helpful to just let thoughts pass by. There's nothing wrong with having a thought, it's what you do with the thought afterwards that can cause all sorts of problems.
I'm not sure what thought stopping is but I've found it helpful to just let thoughts pass by. There's nothing wrong with having a thought, it's what you do with the thought afterwards that can cause all sorts of problems.
I'm almost jealous of people with OCD. Doing exposure therapy for social anxiety disorder requires actually finding people and doing something that makes me anxious. Not easy in lockdown 😒 Engineering the situation when you have to get over that hurdle first is extremely difficult. Not exactly spur of the moment stuff (sometimes it is though). It's like not buying the ice cream as practice
It could help to see that getting stuck on this is just more of the same compulsions. I've worked with tons of people over the past year on overcoming social anxiety fears. They're about fears of being judged by others and being ourselves in public. There are so many ways to do that online. If your brain is telling you that you can't do ERP for social anxieties because of the pandemic, that's just the brain trying to procrastinate.
@@everybodyhasabrain I'm not saying I can't do it, it's just the path of least resistance isn't very difficult to shorten. I used to use the path of least resistance to avoid everything and it works beautifully. Reversed, I can see that it's an invaluable tool for training; self control and discipline not least. I could do some online exposure - I've heard of video chat that is random pairing, just to talk to people. I think I'll have to work up to that 😏 Baby steps 😊... or is that avoidance?! 😨
You can see that you've used avoidance as a compulsion in the past, so it could help to watch out for rationalizing avoidance around building skills. A baby step would be talking to individuals. The next week would be speaking to a group chat. Trying to "work up to that" is like saying you need to get strong so you can start going to the gym. That's backwards. The skills are only going to come after doing the exercises.
hi Mark I have an intrusive thought what if I don't love my baby then I tell to my self that he is the most precious thing that's why my mind is trying to help me to protect him then I feel happy and I don't care but then Iam feeling guilt and anxiety and then I have to say the same thing again how do I bear guilt and anxiety Iam not sure what are my compilations maybe trying to get rid from anxiety and trying to be more kind with my son
Freeman so how to convince my self that it's my OCD or my baby is precious that's why Iam getting those thoughts what I am scared of it without repeating it all the time in my mind because when I have the thouth I feel that I forgot the reality of OCD and all the information I knew about OCD and I feel Iam incide circle of doubt and and anxiety and Iam not sure if those thouth are real or not even I knew it's ocd .thanks again for ur answers.
Trying to discriminate between OCD and what's "real" is something I consider a compulsion. It will only create more doubt if you want to be certain about that. So I find it useful to treat all of the stuff in my head as the same. It doesn't matter whether I think I love somebody. I'm in charge of my actions and can always give love regardless of the weather in my brain.
Mark Freeman Obsessions Are Not The Real Problem Obsessions are repetitive and unwanted thoughts that are intrusive and unrelenting. Due to a glitch in the brain’s neuro-circuitry, these particular thoughts are beyond the conscious control of the individual. Sufferers of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) know all too well the torment of these perverse and strange thoughts, which can accompany violent or graphic images. For them, it is a prison sentence of solitary confinement, inescapable, and seemingly deserved. There are many who fear losing their minds, while struggling to make sense of ideas foreign to their values and beliefs. In my work with children and adults who suffer OCD, it is often assumed by the client that getting better means getting rid of obnoxious, intrusive thoughts. Relief means the elimination of obsessions. Although this is a noble goal, it is probably unattainable. In fact, obsessions are not the real problem for clients. Emotional recovery actually occurs as clients learn how to change the meaning given to their obsessions, while reappraising their true value. This article will briefly examine that process, as it pertains to work in psychotherapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in combination with Exposure and Ritual Prevention (ERP) is an effective treatment modality for OCD. Through CBT, clients learn to recognize errors in their thinking. Clients are educated concerning how to correct those errors, which eventually produces healthier emotional states and coping behaviors. The process includes learning to recognize the difference between realistic and unrealistic appraisals of self, others, and the world around us. ERP is a means for directly testing hypotheses regarding the assumed danger of an obsessive thought. Clients are guided through a series of graduated exposure exercises. Clients confront the situation, thought, or object that instigates fear without escaping. The goal is to realize there is no danger, which tends to extinguish compulsive behavior. Exposures range from 30 to 60 minutes. Emotional re-education begins with a careful discernment of the neuro-biological causes of OCD. It is important for clients to understand that OCD is not due to a defect in character, weakness of the will, or some deep-seated, unresolved early life trauma. Life circumstances are nevermore than a contributing factor. Clients learn early on that a glitch in the brain’s circuitry is behind those odd thoughts. Obsessions are False Messages I always show my clients pictures of PET scan imagery that reveal the inner workings of the brain, pointing to the neurological causes of their obsessions. Borrowing from Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, and his book Brain Lock, clients learn to RELABEL their obsessions as false messages caused by a “short circuit” in the brain. The relief of knowing this truth often eliminates for many clients long held, unrealistic appraisals of the self, such as, “I must be a bad (or weak) person for having those thoughts.” A helpful metaphor I use to describe intrusive obsessions is to liken them to pop-up ads we often encounter while surfing the Web. Just like pop-up ads, obsessions are not under our control; they are always unwanted, and always annoying. Just as importantly, though, is for clients to realize that getting better emotionally does not depend on eliminating obsessions, which, in fact, is unnecessary, even perhaps, unattainable. Obsessions can wax and wane over time, depending on several factors, including the individual’s stress load and physical health. Since OCD is a chronic condition, it is difficult to predict whether obsessions can ever disappear entirely. Some clients have told me their intrusive thoughts vanished almost overnight, only to reappear in a different form a few years later. It is nearly certain that those prickly thoughts will come back. If eliminating obsessions were the expressed goal of therapy, there would be little hope of relief for any sufferer of OCD. What can we do? I teach my clients to recognize the following: obsessions alone are not enough to disturb the sufferer emotionally; there must be a consequent negative appraisal of the obsession, which actually produces the anxiety and depression felt by the person. This also provokes compulsive behavior. It looks like this: A father graphically imagines stabbing his son to death obsessively. He consequently tells himself (negative appraisal), “This must be what child murderers think. I’m an evil and corrupt man!” He consequently feels horrifying anxiety and depression, prays compulsively for God’s forgiveness, and avoids his son. Once my clients are convinced that their OCD is a brain glitch, it becomes easier to attack the negative self-talk with corrective self-talk. Mind you, this is not easy to do. It often takes great practice, which includes managing pathological doubt (e.g. “Well, there’s always a chance I could murder my son, even if by accident.”). One cannot be passive with OCD: it takes consistent, deliberate, conscious effort to attack the problem. What is the problem? Negative appraisal. This is what produces emotional disturbance. When the father in our example realizes his imagined thoughts arise via faulty neuro-circuitry, he is ready to take the next step, which is challenging the accuracy of his assumptions. This is where CBT is most helpful. A skillful therapist will guide the client to ask several reality driven questions, such as, “Where is the evidence that you are an evil and corrupt man?” Because this father finds his obsession to be morally repugnant, he will be asked to consider if it is likely that a serial killer feels any moral outrage for wanting to stab a child to death. The answer is obviously, “No.” Serial killers enjoy obsessing about their victims. In contrast, all OCD sufferers regard their obsessions as ego-alien, i.e. against their value system. Additionally, this man can be challenged to consider and test the hypothesis that all human beings are capable of having disturbing thoughts, even murderous thoughts, which hardly makes one a murderer at all. This dad can ask trusted friends and relatives to verify the truthfulness of this premise. He will discover that we all have bad thoughts on occasion. The significant difference being that OCD sufferers obsess about their negative thoughts, the rest of us really do not. Once again, this is related back to the OCD brain glitch. Borrowing from our example above, the corrected appraisal can take this form: A father graphically imagines stabbing his son to death obsessively. He consequently tells himself (corrected appraisal), “This is an OCD thought due to a glitch in my brain circuitry. It’s also an involuntary thought. I didn’t produce it and this thought is not me. Like anyone else, I can have a bad thought. Just because I think it doesn’t make me evil. I’ve spent enough time considering the issue.” He consequently feels healthy concern and relief. Behaviorally, the father in our example would be encouraged to act on something right now that adds value to his life. Since all OCD obsessions are “junk mail of the brain”, they do not deserve copious amounts of our energy. This dad can deliberately spend time playing with his son, for example, not only as an ERP exercise, but also to neutralize the compulsive praying. It is likely that in less than fifteen minutes, his anxiety will reset to zero. Nothing terrible happens and this father learns to appreciate the value of loving a joyful son. Finally, the fuel for OCD is anxiety. Cut off the fuel source and obsessions are likely to decrease dramatically. When clients change the meaning they give to their obsessions through reappraisal or thought correction, anxiety is lessened. When they commit to neutralizing their compulsions consistently, clients engage the “brain trick” head on, further robbing OCD of the anxiety it needs to fuel future obsessions. The bottom line is obsessions are not the real problem at all; it is the meaning we give to them that makes all the difference with coping emotionally.
Iam really confused because I read this and I was trying to do the same thing like when I have the intrusive thouth I try to explain to my self that this thouth came bcz I love my son so much and so much worried about him so Iam a caring person but u told me its actually a compulsions
Compulsions are the same, whether they're inside or outside of our head. Here's a video explaining more about mental compulsions: th-cam.com/video/ArJrrM_XaDE/w-d-xo.html ERP will involve cutting out the compulsions.
There's a bunch of things you can do: I found it helpful to treat checking in my brain as the same as checking behaviors outside of my brain. Compulsions are compulsions. Thinking is an action. And you are in-charge of what you do with a thought once it pops into your brain. You don't have to react to worries with checking. Make that a choice. Meditation really helped to learn how to perform that action in a healthier way. Learning how to be mindful can put some space between you and your thoughts so it's easier to recognize a thought and then make a choice about what you want to do with that thought. It really is possible to think differently but it takes lots of practice. Don't get discouraged if it takes time to learn how to not engage in mental compulsions. After years of practicing them, they're very easy. It takes time to make non-compulsive thinking easy, too.
I don't know if you are still struggling buddy .... but Muslim here , we pray 5 times a day and endless spoken prayers and practices... And I am telling you buddy it's doable .. it's also valuable to recognise that putting OCD between you and God is never the answer ... wish you all the luck with getting over this
Mark, thank you very much for speaking out on this hidden disease. After having OCD for much of my 54 years of life, I have finally started successfully (with a year of therapy) to conquer this disease. I'm realizing this is more of an ongoing war than just winning a final battle. Your videos are fantastic because they really reinforce a lot of the valuable guidance I've gotten in therapy. Thank you for speaking on this unspoken disease.
The paradox of recovery :
"If you really want to experience it less ,you will have to experience it more first". Do the opposite.
Although it's "extremely" difficult. But I know I have no choice but to do it. It's the only way out from Ocd.
Thank you very much💙.
💟God bless you for helping all of us who struggles immensely
It is a useful paradox to understand! Enjoy the steps ahead :)
Thank you & @crystal@@everybodyhasabrain
i keep coming back to this video every time i experience these feelings. Thank you so much for this!💛
His point: Don't give into the compulsions, expose yourself to higher anxiety. (This will reduce compulsions and anxiety). You don't have to or need to, it will take you to an unhealthy, vicious cycle.
So, to sum it up, everyday is opposite day for the recovering OCD sufferer :)
Yes
My compulsions are mostly imagined compulsions, i indulge in Q&A with my mind, always come disguised like something very important and no matter how many times i try to make peace with it, it doesn't leave. I hope this helps the next time it comes around
Has your situation improved? If so do you have any advice?
@@cerealis_5432 hi, that's ruminating. Since it's something we do, we can also stop it.
this is so motivating, thank you for posting this and sharing your knowledge with us!
Thanks, Mello!
Hey mark, thank you for this amazing tips, just wanted to let you know that because of you I got the strength to treat my OCD, you're my role model, thanks for the motivation!
That's great! I hope you learn all sorts of useful things through treating the OCD. Keep me posted on how it progresses. And keep pushing!
Wow i have only just found your videos recently & they have helped me so much you explain things so well thank you Mark you have really helped with trying to overcome my OCD!
Checking, ruminating, avoiding things or events that will cause me anxiety are my problem.. I cant enjoy my life anymore and i am so tired doing all of my compulsions everyday until i found your videos here in TH-cam.. Your message or your advice here is my inspiration to battle my mental illness Thank you so much mark, you are truly a godsend, please do more videos, dont stop what you are doing and god bless...
PS.. Sorry for The wrong grammar, i am not good in english haha!! Anyway thanks again...
Thank you!
I understand your pain I feel the same Shiho I hope you’re getting better! Thanks for sharing
For some people, baby steps is what is more effective...but for those who can jump right in and manage to defeat their OCD...they deserve an award! I have incredibly powerful OCD, along with Asperger's, and starting a channel was MY beginning to help myself and others! Great video!
Congratulations on starting your channel! I hope you find it a helpful experience :)
So very true! We can.
Thankyou man I suffering from OCD for 3 years thank for helping please make more videos I subscribed ..
I have been diagnosed with OCD and given a booklet to work from. An introduction to coping with OCD by Lee Brosan and advised to work from the Intrusive thoughts chapter. To summarize it states setting aside 10 to 30 mins a day to have the thoughts that cause anxiety. I think it works along the lines of e.g first day at school(anxiety very high) 200 school days later? You get used to the thoughts and they stop seeming so frightening. I was also advised to practice mindfulness by a psychiatrist here in England. Things have improved e.g I spent nearly a year off work with OCD, but last year had no time off at all. However I am always going to "punch hard". Anyway thanks for your interest and I wish you continued good health.
Mark, you are the man. Thank you for this wisdom.
It is effecting my work My passions My relationships The things I can’t or won’t do now is crazy. I eat & thought I recall when I could do this or that & not think about it. I feel really strong when I watch the videos Then I do the compulsions. I have to really do it if it’s something I avoid & I have to stop the compulsions I get it logically & like you said it’s really difficult. I’m stronger than this & I don’t want the guilt if I happen to be controlling the situations . When I say it outloud it sounds ridiculous to myself yet in that moment it’s the realest thing I have experienced. Thanks for the info & guidance
It helped me to approach it like reclaiming territory. Wherever we've put the brain in charge of work, passions, and relationships... those are territories we can reclaim!
Please post a video on mental ‘checking’ or monitoring of thoughts.
Also i feel that this struggle to resist the compulsion is worth the energy than the energy thst you put to overthink
If feel its like when you wake uo early, at the end of the day u feel tired but in a good way. Youve accomplished a lot and feel exhausted but again in a good way. Its not lile if you stayed up late and then woke uo late -》 there the fatigue is much more uncomfortable
I want this freedom thank you
😁🙌
Thank you Mark.
Man that second tip changed My lite god pless u bro
Enjoy the steps ahead!
Thats funny because i feel that at the begining this feeling is not funny at all but then you feel even when its difficult its quite satisfying to feel that to feel that you resist that storm
How do you not react though? That is the part that confuses me. If I see a trigger and just stop I feel like that is suppression which could be considered a compulsion too. For example, say I have an intrusive though and I try to pause my mind from reacting I feel like that is doing more harm than good because I'm trying to control the outcome. Does that make sense?
Abi, I'm stuck in this frame of mind too, in fact my obsessions and compulsions are around a breakup recently and how I'm not worthy as a person, poor socially and I judge everyone else to be much better. The same thoughts repeat each day and consume so much time that I could spend feeling good or doing things I like with 100% commitment.
I feel the thoughts and the reactions to them happen so quickly and automatically I can't step in to simply accept the thinking as OCD. However the simple fact is that at some stage you notice what's going on and its THEN that you tell yourself this is OCD and to simply accept the thoughts and feelings that are there.
The problem is as OCD sufferers we have perfectionist tendencies and we feel that if we didn't quite catch the thought at the right time - that equals failure and what's the point now... It's not true, every time you notice and begin to say it's just OCD and now I'll continue to love my son and think of ways to better his life then your making progress... After that it's the trust in the fact that this will work.
When I say "It" I mean your OCD. Abi...just don't fight it. Whenever you have an intrusive thought, or a trigger that causes an intrusive thought, allow your mind to experience that anxiety. Just...do NOT engage in conversation with It. Do not even attempt to form the question. In other words you feel that anxiety, you may wish to form questions in your head, putting out energy toward it by forming those questions, just don't. Let it be and it WILL fade away. Hopefully I explained it right. Again, when the intrusive thought occurs, don't engage in conversation of any sort with It. Just let it be and focus your attention on something else, even while the anxiety is haunting you. As long as you don't show any attention to it by way of conversation, it will fade. I' m an OCD sufferer (mostly pure O ) of 22 years.
I have social anxiety due to obsessive thinking and over analyzing with all forms of communication. I am constantly thinking ''is this going well, is this what you would consider a flow of conversation, am i enjoying the conversation, am i engaging in the conversation well, why am i so anxious right now-'' and so on and so on. I also tend to make up happy imaginary scenarios in my head. Like me having a good time with people and what my life would be like without my anxiety, and me living in a state where I am enjoying myself. I often do this along with music and will walk around the house just imagining I am in a whole different world- haha very strange I know. Are these considered impulsion?
Susie Velasquez I do it very often though, imagining myself in a whole different state. It calms me and makes me happy but I realize it isn't reality and I would say I am pretty dependent on it.
Susie Velasquez Does it make you happy or would you be happier learning how to enjoy social situations with other people? One thing that I found useful was recognizing that anxiety wasn't the problem--me reacting to anxiety was the problem. And it also helped to recognize that judging the conversation, judging my feelings, judging how others are responding, are all compulsions. They are things I can choose to do or choose not to do. And if I choose to do them, I'm going to make myself anxious and I'll prevent myself from actually engaging in the conversation. It is possible to cut out the compulsions, accept the worries in our heads, and engage with people the way we want to in life. Enjoy accepting these anxieties and having fun with other people!
***** honestly I just wanted to say for the past two years since high school I've been searching for answers and thanks to you I realize me searching was the problem. I Can't thank you enough for these videos and helping me get on track with my life. Because of you I'm learning to cope and I just wanted to thank you for everything.
Susie Velasquez You're welcome, Susie. I'm really glad you've found the videos helpful on your journey!
@@susieq984 has your situation improved? If so do you have any advice??
I've got this real urge in checking almost everything such as lights, door locks and even taps and what i will tend to do is go back and check again even though i know I've checked it. it's very hard to stop the checks now as I've made a habit of doing it 2 to about 3 times. its like as if there is no off switch in my brian to say it's locked or it's closed. I'm trying to not go back and check but i feel like if i don't it will annoy me the whole time until i do.
A helpful way to get over this is to stop wanting to know that it's locked or closed. As long as you chase that certainty, your brain will keep giving you those uncertainties so you can check and try to be certain. But the more you want that certainty, the more your brain will doubt it for you, until you get to a point where you can see it's locked and touch it to be certain it's locked and still your brain will question if it's locked. But I found it useful to recognize this was a problem with my desires. As long as I wanted that certainty, I was committing myself to be tortured by uncertainty.
Same here, checking everything is my problem too.. I always want to make sure that everything are okay and nothing bad is going to happened... Right now, i am doing all my best to stop my compulsions or not engaging in my daily rituals.. Im telling you, my goodness its so painful, its so difficult, i feel like i am going crazy..
I’m quite confused with what I’m going through because I would have obsessions and do compulsions before and it didn’t make me anxious but now I feel anxious all the time and I’m just scared that I’m doing something wrong it can be very overwhelming because I try to identify my compulsions and when I try not doing them I get very anxious. So I’m not sure if I’m avoiding the rights things or not. 💚💚
I’ve recently been doing CBT, and lots of what you say aligns very closely with it. I find your way of explaining exceptional, and I’ve even directed my own therapist to your content. On the subject of compulsions, I’ve identified a vast number of compulsive behaviour in my life, which I know is compulsive as I rationally know I don’t need to do, but do anyway. Would you opt for tackling them all head on (like a boot camp) or working on each one individually in the hope of building confidence in dealing with uncertainty, thereby gaining momentum?
So the thoughts may very well never stop, but eventually through the exposure with resistance...you can overcome the compulsion. I spent a lot of time trying to find a way to change thoughts.
I find that tackling the compulsions is the way to go, and the thoughts just take care of themselves over time. There's research that shows it's the compulsions that create the thoughts, that today's compulsion is what leads to tomorrow's obsession. We see it as obsession-then-compulsion, but it actually goes compulsion-then-obsession. Something I found helpful was recognizing that if I don't like the thoughts, I shouldn't choose to engage in the compulsion today, because that's just going to lead to the unwanted thoughts tomorrow. All the best with overcoming the compulsions!
Many thanks for your video's. They are a great help especially the terrible thoughts and mindfulness video's. What I have started doing now is like ERP for intrusive thoughts which cause anxiety. This is where I repeat the thought to myself 10 minutes a day without reacting in any way. Is this a good idea? even though I am feeling super anxious.
You're welcome. I'm glad you've found them helpful. As for what you described, I can't know very much about your ERP practice from a couple of sentences. If you're working with a therapist, then it'd be best to speak with them. If you haven't spoken with somebody to help plan this out, it really can help to work with somebody that's experienced with helping people use ERP to recover from OCD. It's a lot like exercising--it can take lots of trial-and-error to learn how to do it well on your own, or you can just talk with an experienced personal trainer and they can quickly show you how to do it and get moving towards your goals. At the very least, it can help to follow some kind of ERP workbook that has great reviews.
Hello Mark i have a question and would appreciate if you can answer it. I'm dealing with a branch of ocd (hocd) and it causes me to obsess about something which leads to compulsions. The thing is I have just started to cut out compulsions and would like to know if it takes time for obsessions to lessen as compulsions are cut off.
Yes, it takes time. Check out my video on "The Uncertainty Curve". That's about a method for tracking and understanding the process as the anxiety rises and the drops off.
BUT also make sure you're not confusing a mental compulsion with an obsession. Sometimes people will cut out the external compulsion but just replace it or continue with lots of internal ruminating and compulsive thinking to try to be certain. Just because something is in your head, doesn't mean it isn't a compulsion. If you're trying to be certain in your head or by doing something outside of your head to be certain, then you're still in compulsion territory.
The obsession is the initial intrusive thought. But any reaction to that intrusive thought/feeling/urge is a compulsion.
Are there ever sort of conflicting needs when it comes to OCD and other facets of life?
For example, say someone with OCD has diabetes. Their doctor recommends they check their blood sugar multiple times a day.
Obviously, this is a checking behavior, but it is necessary for the person to live and be healthy, so they can adjust their medicine. Yet, it is fairly frequent checking, but out of necessity. Yet, the person also wants to recover from OCD and knows that this is a checking behavior and gets really worried that the checking will stop them from recovering or being anxiety free.
This is obviously not as great a situation to be in as someone who has no need to check anything, but is the person with diabetes able to get better? If they check only out of necessity and no more, can they still live reasonably free without anxiety?
I mean, it has to be OCD to think "No, you must not check!", even though the voice is technically correct, but the situation requires some flexibility with this... Would love to hear back from you, Mark.
There are many things in life that require us to check, like the example you gave. Somebody who is piloting an airplane or a ship or a train would have many different things to check as well. Or if you're going off on a trip, you might want to take all of the things you need.
They key to making this healthy for me is in why I do it. OCD is about trying to avoid things--ie: checking so something bad doesn't happen. Recovery is all about going to a healthy place, it's not about avoiding a bad place. So making the shift from checking to avoid something, to checking to create something is a really beneficial cognitive shift.
When your brain throws worries at you, it's trying to help you. If you check to avoid something, your brain is going to start urging you to check more, because you want to avoid that thing from happening, but how will you know it's not happening if you don't check?! But when you check something to create a positive experience, then you're not wrestling with fear and there's no worry for your brain to throw back at you later. It's the same action, but intention matters.
*****
That really helps a lot..like a TON, thank you Mark. I think making a video on these sort of "paradoxes" that arise in recovery from OCD would be a great topic to discuss in the future.
As always, thank you for doing what you do. I recommend your videos to people all the time. I've ever corrected my therapist once or twice thanks to info from your videos! :)
The Spoon Thanks for recommending the videos! These types of issues would definitely make a great topic. I'll try to do one in the future.
SO GOOD.
Hello Mark, I have a question. When I run across stressful situation and experience nasty feeling and thoughts and try to deal with them by trying to be mindful, like start to watch my breath, my sensations while, actually, there is no time to do that because I supposed to pay attention to people and participate in activity, isn't it a compulsion? Can meditation become a compulsion? Also, when I experience such stressful situations and I see that I don't do what I want because of anxiety, I tremble a lot and things really tough at that moment, I try to remind myself of what I want to do in this situation, like what I would happy to achieve or what skills I want to improve and often can't come up with any idea and tend to feel more worry because of it. Thanks in advance. P.S. I really bad want to join discord channel, I hope to find some support there. I tried to do so wia website but hadn't received an invitation on my email yet.
The compulsion to avoid and not do things then cuts out. Where can I find that video?
Sometimes I get the urge to do a compulsion, and I think I will have a "better life" if I do the compulsion, which then makes me wondering If it's really a compulsion. How should I handle this?
That's very standard. I don't know why that would make somebody think it's not a compulsion. In my book I called that "Addict Math". We can always think of rational-sounding reasons to convince ourselves to do compulsions. That's why I say that doing healthy actions instead of the compulsions will be UNREASONABLE.
hi And Thank You for your help , i just wanted to ask You how long do we have to do erp ? how many sessions And how long a session ? And how do we know we've made a progress ?
ERP involves cutting out physical or mental compulsions. So the very first time you cut out a compulsion, you've made progress! That's one of the reasons I like ERP--you make progress right away and if you follow a structured process of cutting out a compulsion each week, you'll make preferred each week. How long you do it for depends on how many compulsions you have in your life. I'm not sure what you mean by how long a session would be. You'll most likely be cutting out compulsions in your everyday life. For example, if you went out the door and didn't check if it was locked, that would be a common ERP exercise. You might do some exercises with your therapist during a therapy session but that would be something to discuss with a therapist. I did therapy for six months, meeting a therapist each week to report back on the compulsion I'd cut out that week, and to plan the next compulsion to tackle.
thank you sir
I suffer from compulsions because when I get intrusive thoughts I need to repeat my behaviour and think of a thought that replaces the bad thoughts. I constantly repeat my behaviour because of this.
Banana Milk It can help to recognize that it's actually the other way around: You keep having intrusive thoughts because you engage in compulsions. The more you try to replace bad thoughts, the more bad thoughts your brain will give you. You can stop repeating the behaviours. Start with cutting out easier compulsions and work up to the toughest.
I've been trying and it has worked. At times I do slip up and do a compulsion, but I am getting better little by little.
Banana Milk That's great. It takes practice just like any skill, so keep on taking steps forward!
Me too I feel your pain It is really strong & I can’t stop even though I know people may be looking and judging It effects my work. I’m really trying to stop them & using Marks videos to help I’m going to make this the beginning I know your message is 6 yrs old. How are you doing now thank you I hope you are good
But what if the compulsion is a thought?How do you say , I won't check?I get it how you cut compulsions in the physical world,but how you cut them if they are just thoughts?I just read your book and i didn't get that.
It can help to see that there's a difference between thoughts and thinking. You're in charge of thinking. It's an action. So checking inside my heads is no different than checking outside my head. If I try to bring up a memory to check what happened, that's the same as going into the kitchen to check if the stove is off. I'm choosing to move my awareness around to check something. Here's a video on thoughts vs thinking that explains more: th-cam.com/video/VnDsZSIWUDU/w-d-xo.html
@@everybodyhasabrain What if the compulsions are too strong and real or what if the paranoia is about mental ilness?What i mean:f.e i went today to the bank to pay my therapist and two euro notes where fake, and i started the absolute paranooia,what if my boss gave them in porpuse?What if police will get me?why this happened when i wanted to pay my therapist? now I don't trust even the therapists and this happened when i read your book and i tried everything you said and now i have suspicious unwanted thoughts about the whole psychology and every thought i have is so strange.I mean i csn recognize that this are just thoughts but what if the paranoid thoughts are about the recovery itself?What if my suspicious thoughts are real?What if my boss really gave them in porpuse?What if this time is different and now my worst fears come true and i will be comppetely helpless?sorry if it was too complicated,i hope you understood what i meant.
@@makunpi it's not complicated at all. These are all uncertainties. Is it useful to put these uncertainties in charge of your life?
@@everybodyhasabrain Whatever i think, there's always a suspicious or catastrophic thought that brings me back to the start.A never ending loop.Even when i think ok do this so you'll stop the uncertainty then my mimd goes,what if this thought about uncertainty is suspicious too?etc etc and it goes forever...
@@makunpi But that's because trying to stop the uncertainty is the problem, not the solution. Of course the more you do those compulsions, the more your brain will invent uncertainties to chase with more compulsions. The "solutions" are fueling it, not helping.
Hey Mark, is it not true that some things do require checking? That sometimes reassurance seeking is necessary? That sometimes taking precautions to avoid problems is the right thing to so? For example labeling everything that has to do with checking as being a compulsion, that sounds kind of extreme and potentially dangerous. What do you think?
What reassurance seeking do you think is necessary?
Mark Freeman ok well I'm afraid i might have done something horrible that can lead to a catastrophe and i want to check in order to make sure I didn't do it.
What if I don’t do the compulsion? And it causes something to happen? That what I don’t understand. It feel so real, that something will happen if I don’t do it. I don’t know how to take the risk 😢
It always feels very real, and the brain always has great arguments for doing compulsions! What you're describing is very normal. It could be useful to connect with a good workbook or skilled professional to start learning mental health skills.
love it, thanks
Hey Mark I watched many of your videos and its really helpful. You are doing a wonderful job. I don't have any physical compulsion but I suffer from mental compulsions. Like whenever I get any Intrusive thought in my mind I would say some word or phrases. I want to ask if stopping yourself repeating the words is not a kind of thought stopping. I am really confused. What I noticed is I can Stop the words from repeating in my head but its really hard. My brain keeps telling me to repeat the word. How to solve this.Any help would be appreciated.
+Alia Singhania Thanks, Alia. I'm glad you've found them helpful. No, not saying the words isn't "thought stopping". Repeating those words/phrases is a compulsion. It's ok if your brain is trying to get you to do something. You don't have to listen to it. When we do any kind of exercise, physical or mental, our brains often try to get us to stop, to slow down, to sit down. But we can accept that our brain wants that and still do healthy things instead of falling back into compulsions.
+Mark Freeman Thank you so much for reply. I have suffered through this problem since a month and there are my exams in 2 months. Please suggest me some exercises or some ways so that I can fully concentrate on my studies. I am realy worried whether I would be able to study or not because of this problem.Please help.
Alia Singhania Overcoming OCD is totally possible but it's a process. I think it's really important to recognize that the compulsions that are bothering you are only a small part of the entire OCD beast. There are many changes involved in building better mental health and fitness. You could work with a therapist that's experienced with helping people recover or get some books on practicing Acceptance & Commitment Therapy--there are many different ways to tackle OCD. But I would recommend tackling it holistically, rather than focusing just on a specific thing.
Mark Freeman Mark can you explain what you mean by tackling it holistically? How can i do that? I have a specific thought that has been bothering me for months, so should i cut out certain behaviors in other areas of my life in order to stop that intrusive thought from appearing?
Yeah but to what do I have to expose myself to when the obsessive thought is mental? It’s easy to do response prevention to physical compulsions but if my obsessive thought is a sound go I do the erp? Honestly am trying to under the process itself with mental compulsions
@athinameleti1738 The exposure is the uncertainty or thought or image or whatever. If the thought already popped up, you're exposed! Now it'll be useful to explore cutting out the compulsions. That's no different for mental stuff. Every day you choose to give your attention to some things over other things, or you choose to think back through one event instead of another. You're constantly making choices about the actions you do in your head and already know how to make changes with that.
@ so first step is to live parallel to it all a day just by swifting my interest in other things in my day!
But does the exposure helps somebody if he repeats the thought 💭 fo reassurance ?
@athinameleti1738 But repeating the thought for reassurance IS an example of a compulsion. I don't know what you mean by asking if "exposure helps". The source of the problem is the compulsion. That's like drilling holes in your boat and asking if a dance will help the boat float.
@@everybodyhasabrain I mean that by checking the thought i am all day in an exposure mode as it’s in my head all day long or at least most of the day! So how I stop this kind so compulsion?
@athinameleti1738 You're the one doing the checking. It could help to look more broadly at the goals you're pursuing. Like if you have a goal to get rid of the thought or to get reassurance you don't like it, those are no different than somebody with a contamination compulsion setting a goal to feel clean. Then they'll naturally have the opposite experience they want and will just keep doing the compulsion again and again. There are likely many other compulsions going on throughout life with the same pattern as well. So taking a more compete approach and grabbing a good book or course or working with a professional could be useful ways to start learning
Sometimes it happens to me that me treating my ocd becomes a compulsion on its own , becouse i feel i try to do it perfectly and I constantly look for more compulsions to cut out. This causes a lot of stress in my life and also causes more ocd sometimes. Anyone here who has had a similar problem?
Answered on the other comment you left. You only need to ask a question once.
My ocd is so annoying man. It’s passed down from mom.
It's very common that we pick up compulsions from those around us but if you want to get over and cut those out, it's totally possible
I used to think I 'had' to check too, that it was impossible to not check. But then I thought, what if I had no hands or I was in handcuffs or something. Then I would be able to not check. Im just too spoiled that I have hands to check things with. ;) Sorry im spamming
Hello Mark I am unable to figure out my compulsion. Whenever I see some object I would utter words that doesn't mean anything in my mind. For example saying fuck table, mad chair and so on. Sometimes I find it next to impossible to not utter the words. Anyhow I resist uttering the words nowadays, but I want to know if that's my compulsion of not uttering words or uttering the word is a compulsion, I am really confused. How to do ERP in my case? Are themes like this possible in OCD. Please do respond as I really need help.
Sounds like a compulsion...pretty well first the definition. What do you mean by you wonder which is the compulsion? If you feel compelled to utter the words, that is the compulsion. ERP would most likely be exposing yourself to things that trigger you to want to say those words and then resist doing it.
Mark,
Do you think thought stopping technique help with ocd?
I'm not sure what thought stopping is but I've found it helpful to just let thoughts pass by. There's nothing wrong with having a thought, it's what you do with the thought afterwards that can cause all sorts of problems.
How long do you have to deal with the Anxiety when resisting to do the compulsion?
Here's a video on what happens with anxiety when we stop a compulsion: th-cam.com/video/ZcaceDOSsEo/w-d-xo.html
Hi Mark,
Does thought stopping work for ocd?
I'm not sure what thought stopping is but I've found it helpful to just let thoughts pass by. There's nothing wrong with having a thought, it's what you do with the thought afterwards that can cause all sorts of problems.
How am I just seeing these videos now?
Algorithms?
I'm almost jealous of people with OCD. Doing exposure therapy for social anxiety disorder requires actually finding people and doing something that makes me anxious. Not easy in lockdown 😒
Engineering the situation when you have to get over that hurdle first is extremely difficult. Not exactly spur of the moment stuff (sometimes it is though). It's like not buying the ice cream as practice
It could help to see that getting stuck on this is just more of the same compulsions. I've worked with tons of people over the past year on overcoming social anxiety fears. They're about fears of being judged by others and being ourselves in public. There are so many ways to do that online. If your brain is telling you that you can't do ERP for social anxieties because of the pandemic, that's just the brain trying to procrastinate.
@@everybodyhasabrain I'm not saying I can't do it, it's just the path of least resistance isn't very difficult to shorten. I used to use the path of least resistance to avoid everything and it works beautifully. Reversed, I can see that it's an invaluable tool for training; self control and discipline not least.
I could do some online exposure - I've heard of video chat that is random pairing, just to talk to people. I think I'll have to work up to that 😏
Baby steps 😊... or is that avoidance?! 😨
You can see that you've used avoidance as a compulsion in the past, so it could help to watch out for rationalizing avoidance around building skills. A baby step would be talking to individuals. The next week would be speaking to a group chat. Trying to "work up to that" is like saying you need to get strong so you can start going to the gym. That's backwards. The skills are only going to come after doing the exercises.
hi Mark I have an intrusive thought what if I don't love my baby then I tell to my self that he is the most precious thing that's why my mind is trying to help me to protect him then I feel happy and I don't care but then Iam feeling guilt and anxiety and then I have to say the same thing again how do I bear guilt and anxiety Iam not sure what are my compilations maybe trying to get rid from anxiety and trying to be more kind with my son
Repeating phrases to reassure yourself is a common compulsion.
Freeman so how to convince my self that it's my OCD or my baby is precious that's why Iam getting those thoughts what I am scared of it without repeating it all the time in my mind because when I have the thouth I feel that I forgot the reality of OCD and all the information I knew about OCD and I feel Iam incide circle of doubt and and anxiety and Iam not sure if those thouth are real or not even I knew it's ocd .thanks again for ur answers.
Trying to discriminate between OCD and what's "real" is something I consider a compulsion. It will only create more doubt if you want to be certain about that. So I find it useful to treat all of the stuff in my head as the same. It doesn't matter whether I think I love somebody. I'm in charge of my actions and can always give love regardless of the weather in my brain.
Mark Freeman Obsessions Are Not The Real Problem
Obsessions are repetitive and unwanted thoughts that are intrusive and unrelenting. Due to a glitch in the brain’s neuro-circuitry, these particular thoughts are beyond the conscious control of the individual. Sufferers of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) know all too well the torment of these perverse and strange thoughts, which can accompany violent or graphic images. For them, it is a prison sentence of solitary confinement, inescapable, and seemingly deserved. There are many who fear losing their minds, while struggling to make sense of ideas foreign to their values and beliefs.
In my work with children and adults who suffer OCD, it is often assumed by the client that getting better means getting rid of obnoxious, intrusive thoughts. Relief means the elimination of obsessions. Although this is a noble goal, it is probably unattainable. In fact, obsessions are not the real problem for clients. Emotional recovery actually occurs as clients learn how to change the meaning given to their obsessions, while reappraising their true value. This article will briefly examine that process, as it pertains to work in psychotherapy.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in combination with Exposure and Ritual Prevention (ERP) is an effective treatment modality for OCD. Through CBT, clients learn to recognize errors in their thinking. Clients are educated concerning how to correct those errors, which eventually produces healthier emotional states and coping behaviors. The process includes learning to recognize the difference between realistic and unrealistic appraisals of self, others, and the world around us.
ERP is a means for directly testing hypotheses regarding the assumed danger of an obsessive thought. Clients are guided through a series of graduated exposure exercises. Clients confront the situation, thought, or object that instigates fear without escaping. The goal is to realize there is no danger, which tends to extinguish compulsive behavior. Exposures range from 30 to 60 minutes.
Emotional re-education begins with a careful discernment of the neuro-biological causes of OCD. It is important for clients to understand that OCD is not due to a defect in character, weakness of the will, or some deep-seated, unresolved early life trauma. Life circumstances are nevermore than a contributing factor. Clients learn early on that a glitch in the brain’s circuitry is behind those odd thoughts.
Obsessions are False Messages
I always show my clients pictures of PET scan imagery that reveal the inner workings of the brain, pointing to the neurological causes of their obsessions. Borrowing from Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, and his book Brain Lock, clients learn to RELABEL their obsessions as false messages caused by a “short circuit” in the brain. The relief of knowing this truth often eliminates for many clients long held, unrealistic appraisals of the self, such as, “I must be a bad (or weak) person for having those thoughts.”
A helpful metaphor I use to describe intrusive obsessions is to liken them to pop-up ads we often encounter while surfing the Web. Just like pop-up ads, obsessions are not under our control; they are always unwanted, and always annoying. Just as importantly, though, is for clients to realize that getting better emotionally does not depend on eliminating obsessions, which, in fact, is unnecessary, even perhaps, unattainable.
Obsessions can wax and wane over time, depending on several factors, including the individual’s stress load and physical health. Since OCD is a chronic condition, it is difficult to predict whether obsessions can ever disappear entirely. Some clients have told me their intrusive thoughts vanished almost overnight, only to reappear in a different form a few years later. It is nearly certain that those prickly thoughts will come back. If eliminating obsessions were the expressed goal of therapy, there would be little hope of relief for any sufferer of OCD.
What can we do? I teach my clients to recognize the following: obsessions alone are not enough to disturb the sufferer emotionally; there must be a consequent negative appraisal of the obsession, which actually produces the anxiety and depression felt by the person. This also provokes compulsive behavior. It looks like this:
A father graphically imagines stabbing his son to death obsessively.
He consequently tells himself (negative appraisal), “This must be what child murderers think. I’m an evil and corrupt man!”
He consequently feels horrifying anxiety and depression, prays compulsively for God’s forgiveness, and avoids his son.
Once my clients are convinced that their OCD is a brain glitch, it becomes easier to attack the negative self-talk with corrective self-talk. Mind you, this is not easy to do. It often takes great practice, which includes managing pathological doubt (e.g. “Well, there’s always a chance I could murder my son, even if by accident.”). One cannot be passive with OCD: it takes consistent, deliberate, conscious effort to attack the problem. What is the problem? Negative appraisal. This is what produces emotional disturbance.
When the father in our example realizes his imagined thoughts arise via faulty neuro-circuitry, he is ready to take the next step, which is challenging the accuracy of his assumptions. This is where CBT is most helpful. A skillful therapist will guide the client to ask several reality driven questions, such as, “Where is the evidence that you are an evil and corrupt man?” Because this father finds his obsession to be morally repugnant, he will be asked to consider if it is likely that a serial killer feels any moral outrage for wanting to stab a child to death. The answer is obviously, “No.” Serial killers enjoy obsessing about their victims. In contrast, all OCD sufferers regard their obsessions as ego-alien, i.e. against their value system.
Additionally, this man can be challenged to consider and test the hypothesis that all human beings are capable of having disturbing thoughts, even murderous thoughts, which hardly makes one a murderer at all. This dad can ask trusted friends and relatives to verify the truthfulness of this premise. He will discover that we all have bad thoughts on occasion. The significant difference being that OCD sufferers obsess about their negative thoughts, the rest of us really do not. Once again, this is related back to the OCD brain glitch.
Borrowing from our example above, the corrected appraisal can take this form:
A father graphically imagines stabbing his son to death obsessively.
He consequently tells himself (corrected appraisal), “This is an OCD thought due to a glitch in my brain circuitry. It’s also an involuntary thought. I didn’t produce it and this thought is not me. Like anyone else, I can have a bad thought. Just because I think it doesn’t make me evil. I’ve spent enough time considering the issue.”
He consequently feels healthy concern and relief.
Behaviorally, the father in our example would be encouraged to act on something right now that adds value to his life. Since all OCD obsessions are “junk mail of the brain”, they do not deserve copious amounts of our energy. This dad can deliberately spend time playing with his son, for example, not only as an ERP exercise, but also to neutralize the compulsive praying. It is likely that in less than fifteen minutes, his anxiety will reset to zero. Nothing terrible happens and this father learns to appreciate the value of loving a joyful son.
Finally, the fuel for OCD is anxiety. Cut off the fuel source and obsessions are likely to decrease dramatically. When clients change the meaning they give to their obsessions through reappraisal or thought correction, anxiety is lessened. When they commit to neutralizing their compulsions consistently, clients engage the “brain trick” head on, further robbing OCD of the anxiety it needs to fuel future obsessions. The bottom line is obsessions are not the real problem at all; it is the meaning we give to them that makes all the difference with coping emotionally.
Iam really confused because I read this and I was trying to do the same thing like when I have the intrusive thouth I try to explain to my self that this thouth came bcz I love my son so much and so much worried about him so Iam a caring person but u told me its actually a compulsions
You should do a tedtalk
TEDtalks are so turn-of-the-century now, though. Maybe I'll get a Tik Tok account instead...
Hello, how im doing Erp with ocd only In my thoughts. Without compulsiveness.
Compulsions are the same, whether they're inside or outside of our head. Here's a video explaining more about mental compulsions: th-cam.com/video/ArJrrM_XaDE/w-d-xo.html ERP will involve cutting out the compulsions.
What would be your advice for stopping mental compulsions, or mental checking?
There's a bunch of things you can do: I found it helpful to treat checking in my brain as the same as checking behaviors outside of my brain. Compulsions are compulsions. Thinking is an action. And you are in-charge of what you do with a thought once it pops into your brain. You don't have to react to worries with checking. Make that a choice. Meditation really helped to learn how to perform that action in a healthier way. Learning how to be mindful can put some space between you and your thoughts so it's easier to recognize a thought and then make a choice about what you want to do with that thought. It really is possible to think differently but it takes lots of practice. Don't get discouraged if it takes time to learn how to not engage in mental compulsions. After years of practicing them, they're very easy. It takes time to make non-compulsive thinking easy, too.
***** Thanks for responding. I'll give it a try.
Mine is praying and since I'm a Christian it's so hard
I don't know if you are still struggling buddy .... but Muslim here , we pray 5 times a day and endless spoken prayers and practices... And I am telling you buddy it's doable ..
it's also valuable to recognise that putting OCD between you and God is never the answer ...
wish you all the luck with getting over this
I love how you don't have dislikes
It's perfect
Sht.. you need one dislike or else im giving in to perfectnesssss lol Im just kidding ;)
No hell no