Clarity on Decluttering & Downsizing Decisions: 4 Examples
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มิ.ย. 2018
- You always want to pay attention to your feelings when decluttering! Laura helps four people decide for themselves using four essential criteria: 1) Is it clutter? and 2) What to do with their clutter? Real life examples: magazines, jewelry, gerbil cage, and child’s mobile. Enjoy!
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So true. I removed some toxic influences and said no to activities that are starting to drain me and it is amazing how much decluttering I am getting done. And the more I declutter, the more creative I feel.
Thanks for your comment Mary. It is so important to remove what drains us - obstacles to moving forward with ease and comfort. People, stuff, groups... Many give away their time and energy away to take care of others, costing them dearly, and not leaving any to take care of their own home. Glad you have brought yourself into balance so you can enjoy decluttering as the creative endeavor it is! Thanks for subscribing, and take good care :-) Laura
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Binge watching, just discovered you, Laura. Your gentleness and graciousness has been a very healing process. I just retired and have 9 months to downsize and put my home on the market. My spouse passed last year and I have not been able to go through most of his things. I feel overwhelmed and a sense of shame that I have stored his and my children's clutter. Watching your videos has given me a strength and peace about the task ahead of me that I was not able to find before.
Hi Linda, Thank you for your comment. So glad you have found the videos helpful. 9 months is good. Build a routine, and steadily show up through time. Get help when you need it. We all need help along the way. No need to feel shame. We all have stuff stored away until we decide it is time to take care of it. Notice without the judgement! It may not have been clutter at the time you decided to store it away. Our stuff becomes clutter as our lives and interests change. You are where you are. You don't need to make you or your situation wrong to make it better! Thanks for subscribing and sharing the videos with others. Take good care! Laura
Yes I find her wonderful also~! YOU can DO this..Be gentle with yourself.
Bless you Linda,I hope you are in a great place today.
I agree with you, her videos are so healing and encouraging. As others have said, be gentle with yourself. If your spouse died just a year ago, it is still quite early in the grief journey. My mother and my mother-in-law lost their spouses around the same time. One just rolled up her sleeves, purged the house and sold it in a year. The other still has so many of his things 15 years later. We (kids) have accepted that in her case, we will have to do the decluttering after she is gone. I don't think either one was right or wrong. There are so many memories to deal with and it gets complicated. Maybe you can give yourself more time before you sell the house?
I hope you're feeling better.
Never thought of the difference of between clutter and messy. I love learning. Thank you.
Hi Suzanne, Yes, I found that interesting too. Made it easier to see a mess, and simply pick it up, no need to declutter.... though mess and clutter are often the result of each other. Thank you for subscribing, and if you like to learn more, pleas join me for upcoming fall webinars. A new video describes them for you or go to my website, ClutterClarity.com. Always more to learn! Take care, and thanks for subscribing! Enjoy, Laura
I love your gentle approach it makes me want to engage in what I felt unable to before
Hi Christabel, Great name! Yes, we need to do this work with respect - for the stuff and self. No more Conquering our clutter, just be with our stuff, and decide with consideration and kindness. Our clutter makes sense, and we are all in a mess until we're not. Keep on showing up and figure it out. Persevere with patience! Thanks for subscribing; more videos coming asap. Take care, Laura
thank you for your caring and kindness. you are a beacon for so many people Laura. Peace, -j
This lady is a lovely person. She's human, unlike robotic Sergeant Major Erica Schupe, controlling her 9 children in a regimented over-crowded hostel with no individuality and a false smile that I have just suffered under "children on purpose" or some such label.
Such a relief to learn from a kind human being! It's so true you can't do things if you are overwhelmed and upset, I really do know this! I can say with huge emphasis it has held me back. Until I felt better about what had happened to me, until I had the confidence to feel in control after the awful things done to me, not until then could I deal with the rest.
"If you force yourself to do something you are not ready to do you are unable to do it the next time, you resist it the next time." That's so true!
I absolutely love your scarf by the way.
So glad the videos and my approach have made a difference for you. I love that scarf too 😊 Thanks for subscribing, if you like!
Hi Elly - so glad the video has been of helped you! That scarf gets a lot of attention :-) Persevere with patience. When you start to feel overwhelmed, back off, slow down, change your expectations... Thanks for your comment and subscribing, sharing videos with others. Take good care, Laura
This is so helpful! I'm trying to rebuild my life after escaping domestic violence. I have crohns disease with major complications which keep me in and out of the hospital. We also have 3 kids that were complicated c-sections. My former husband actually used the house as a form of abuse by not helping me with the house after major surgery and childbirth. He refused to help even when I was bed ridden! And continued to abuse me physically and mentally. I kicked him out 2 years ago but I'm still battling the house. My two youngest girls (the oldest, sadly, went with him) make HUGE messes and refuse to help me purge and clean. But I refuse to give up! I'm reading books about clutter and watching you and making progress. It's slow because I have limited energy with my disease. But I do what I can. For me, it's less about not wanting to purge, and more about just not having the physical ability to do this as fast as I want to. But I know the house will be purged and clean! Thank you for this program!
Wow, you have been through a lot! Glad you're persevering to get free of the stress and mess! Please subscribe to get notice of new videos posted every Friday afternoon. Good luck with your endeavors. Feel proud of your progress!
Clutter Clarity Thank you!!
You may want to get help from www.NAPO.org to find a professional organizer near you. The physical work will be much easier, and you'll be happy with the progress. Good luck, and take care! Thanks for subscribing, Laura
NAPO.net not org@@ClutterClarity
@@janetjennings7324 you're right! Thank you.
Hola! WOW....I am so happy to have come across your video. While watching and listening to you mid way I began my process of letting go. Your voice is so soothing and relaxing. I got up from my bed and began my journey. Thank you for your advise, insight, and rephrasing of this difficult moment. You've made it for me mentally and emotionally a smooth beginning of a lifetime transition.
Best,
Hi Elisabeth, So glad that the videos made a difference to your experience! Decluttering/downsizing can be such a lovely, liberating experience when you take your time, steadily showing up through time. It's complex work so persevere with patience! Thanks for subscribing and sharing with friends and family! Take good care, Laura
love you. firm but not judgemental or mean, perspective of humanity
I am very confused about the woman whose daughter loves mobiles and received one she loves but don't have space for. Is it really the woman's clutter? For me it is clearly not something the mother can decide about, the daughter is big enough to process these principles that Laura teaches with gentle guidance from her mother. To start to learn these principles at such a young age is really valuable for the future.
Enjoy your videos. One thing I learned a long time ago, and you probably covered it in another video, but that is "out of sight out of mind". People, and I was guilty as well, will fill up an outdoor shed, a closet, or even RENT a storage unit just to "get rid of" or "make room" not realizing what they are actually doing.
I had a closet full of "stuff" and really wanted that closet for another use. So, I took everything out of that closet and piled it up along my master bedroom wall so I would have to either look at it every day or get rid of all of it.
Within just a few weeks I was listing (and selling) almost all of that "stuff" on eBay. What I didn't sell I donated and my master bedroom was finally back to normal. The closet that I emptied was converted into a workstation (took the doors off) for wrapping packages/gifts and even doing some crafty types of things. So much better!!
Thanks again for all your videos!
Thanks Mark, yes... it fills up and is forgotten or can't find what they are looking for, and buy more. Storage units are full of "delayed decisions." Feel free to subscribe! More videos every Friday through the summer. ENJOY!
Glad you're enjoying the videos! Out of sight, out of mind is how those storage units make money. Decluttering is a life-long endeavor. Dig into this closets, outdoor sheds to unburden yourself of the guilt as well as the clutter. No need for guilt. Just notice without the judgement, and "Putter through your Clutter", to get free of the burden. Enjoy, and thanks for subscribing!
mark s
That sounds wonderful, Mark! Decluttering can be really joyous work, rewarding for sure. Thanks for subscribing, and enjoy. New webinars coming up in October if interested. New video describes them. Take care, Laura
Finally some sense thanks for sharing. I loath house work i know why as a teen my mother used to make me clean the whole house because she was out at work as was my dad and sister I didn’t get any allowance and if I didn’t do it I got told off. I was so annoyed I felt like it was totally unfair I have had a messy home my whole life. Married a messy guy and still feel like I am an unpaid slave some days
You can only blame your other for your mood for so long. At some point it's your choice whether or not to put on your music, grab your snack, clear your calendar, and enjoy making your home beautiful and comfortable for yourself......would you wear clothes with food on them just because when you were a teen tour mother forced you to do laundry without pay? ....and of course your mother was not abusing you. You got food, housing, and education? The only abuse may have been her words, but the work itself wasn't abuse. It was helping a woman who was too tired to work outside the home all day, and then pick up after the family all evening. Hoe van you resent your mother for not being a super human, when you yourself are finding it difficult to keep your house clean and work in you adult years. I hope you are able to forgive whatever abuse she laid out on you, and also realize that you are not a victim. Remember what your parents gave you and did for you
Did you have kids ? I totally understand your feelings. When you're a kid a lot of things feel incredibly unfair. As an adult, kids take up your money, your time, your labor, you have to give up everything you actually wanted to do for yourself, and spend time running errands and driving kids around and spending your money on them and they usually act resentful or hateful and self centered and ungrateful. Both the adults and the kids feel resentful and unappreciated. It should have been handled differently but everyone pitching in is fair. All of the extra hours working for money needed to raise kids, is stressful and feels unappreciated too. I took care of someone else's kids and the amount of money and time and work I had to do paired with how ungrateful they were and how they wouldn't do a damn thing to help out, was devastating. Your mom needed help.
@@debbiedebbie9473 yes I have three sons all now adults, I was both a working mom and a stay at home mom at different times. I never expected any of my sons to do all the house work for no reward whilst others were busy. My kids all did chores sometimes as did their father. I always say thanks if I can, sometime my oldest son chose the job he wanted and did not ask what needed done I tried not to complain even if I would have rather he had cleaned the bathroom than clean the kitchen, but even if I worked the majority still fell on me as a woman most often. I do my best to clean more and be minimal but sometimes its hard to not revert to clutter.
This has been the best talk that I've heard that has clarified the process of identifying the decluttering work for me. Made it so much easier and took out the emotional aspect. Thank you!
Thank you, Janice! Glad video helped. More to come soon! Thanks for subscribing so you know when. Take good care, Laura
Thank you! I just added a day on my calendar, to donate the clutter. It has to go somewhere, or it just migrates back in and I’m at square one. I’m adding lunch to that day, while I’m out donating, to sweeten the deal.
Hi Laura, That's wonderful! There are lots of ways to make decluttering easier, even enjoyable Thanks for subscribing, more videos are coming soon! Take care, Laura
Very helpful. I will implement in my process of decluttering a little everyday till complete. I am on my 4th week.
That's terrific, Margaret! Pace yourself. The secret is to keep on coming back through time with a routine. Enjoy your progress! Laura PS thanks for subscribing!
I’m learning so much from these videos. Decluttering my home was easy but as I help others different aspects come into play. Thanks!
Hi Tami, Yes, the work is complex. Hope your "others" appreciate your help! Thanks for subscribing; more videos coming asap. Take care, Laura
Thank you very much Laura!!
Hi - Thank you for your comment! ❣Yes, include your feeling, don't indulge them, but they are an essential feedback loop that needs to be respected! Thanks so much for subscribing and sharing so others can feel better too! You may want to check out our Decluttering Support Group to make your decluttering easier, coming up soon. Enjoy your progress! Take good care, Laura
Thank you so much for your great work
With love from Thailand ❤️😊
Thank you very much for these videos. ❤️
Thank you so much. I really learn a lot by watching your videos.
So glad you're learning how to make decluttering easier. Subscribe if you like to get more. Posting new ones every Friday. Good luck with your own decluttering!
Thank you!
You're very welcome! Please subscribe if you like - thanks!
Thanks so much, Fran! Learning certainly makes the work easier. Please join me for upcoming webinars - new video describes them, or you can go to ClutterClarity.com. Take care and thanks, too for subscribing! Enjoy, Laura
My puppet collection is enormous! I hope to use it after Covid.
I've watched quite a few of your presentations, Laura, and they are absolutely excellent. I need to get specific help for my situation but I'm not sure how. I just turned 60 and I've been on disability for many years (since 1996 actually) and my level of functioning - what I can and can't do - has varied quite a lot during that time. It's therefore difficult to know what to keep and what to let go, especially since replacing things, if I need to, is difficult for me (for multiple reasons) and there are financial limitations too. Plus I'm chronically stressed due to circumstances in my life over which I don't have control (despite my efforts to find solutions for the ongoing challenges) so if I keep waiting for a time when it feels okay to declutter, it just isn't going to happen. I need to do the work, though, because I'm in such a small apartment, and I want the freedom and peace that I believe would result from decluttering. Any advice? And anyone I can work with? I’d appreciate your input. Thank you.
Deborah, Sorry for your challenges. Decluttering is one good way to feel in control, since it's your stuff to go thru... if you can learn how to do comfortably. You may need more physical help lifting things... Call your local senior center for vetted services. Start small, medicine cabinet, linens, kitchen drawers...Click on the link in this video's description for the upcoming Decluttering Support Group to learn essentials to make the work easier. Most economical way to get help, too. Take care, Laura
Thank you for responding to my post with compassion and advice.
Laura, I'm facing a crisis right now on many levels - emotional, health, housing and more, and I have no choice but to deal with the situation, even though I'm feeling overwhelmed and in an unfit state of mind to do so. Are you still offering one half hour free session, like you were before?
Hi Laura, I'm new here and I love your videos. I need a lot of help.
DO YOU STILL DO 30 MNS FREE PHONE CALL?
Another question: WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY WEIGHT CHANGED OVER TIME AND I KEPT ALL THOSE CLOTHES SIZES KNOWING I'M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT BUT I DIDN'T YET?
Thank you.
Adrienne
Thank you Laura for a great video. Love your videos. Greetings from Australia.
Hello Australia! I have a cousin in Sydney. Feel free to subscribe, more videos coming every Friday. ENJOY!
Hello Australia! I have a cousin in Sydney, but haven't visited yet. Thanks for subscribing, if you like. Enjoy 👏
Thanks for a great video!
Thanks so much for your comment! More to come on each Friday if you subscribe, you'll get notice. Enjoy!
Silfer Vox I really love you advice and I really need it,thank you for your video
You are so welcome! Glad you found it helpful. Please subscribe, more coming later on. Take care, Laura
That little hamster house is a perfect metaphor. Because on one side it looks like prison and endless running in place. But for a real hamster, well they need a bigger house, but for the metaphor, it's a safe place, a home, for a creature that can't fend for itself in the present environment.. it's a paradox box. .
Hi Michael, I love the hamster house, and love your description. Thanks for subscribing, if you like! Laura
@@ClutterClarity I love it! Thank you. This is so helpful. I definitely subscribed! 😊
I am a creative person, who like to make handicrafts, i see a project when they see a piece of old fabric or paper. And i have more than 1 interest. Lots of material for different kinds of crafts. Dont have time or space to make crafts. Do i just get rid of valuable craft material or try to make time and space for it
That’s me!
I have decades of personal journals that I do not read and would not want others to read, but I cannot seem to dispose of them. Help please!
Oh this is so helpful, I'm terrible!
Best nto to judge yourself. there's lots of good reasons why people have clutter. Notice without the judgement, helps soooo much. It's just stuff that needs more of your attention and time. Take care, Laura. Please subscribe, if you like! Enjoy
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Love , use , space lifestyle , now. Is it useful , do I love it , is it taking space, enjoy discover find your lifestyle , clutter how to help someone else like my mom
The criteria are essential to consider so you can make good decisions in the present! Thanks for subscribing to get more videos every Friday. You can share with your mom, too! Enjoy :-)
Glad you're enjoying learning! It certainly helps to have the criteria so you can trust your decisions. Please subscribe. More videos coming later on. Take care, Laura
I remind myself often that I am the high priestess of the house
It's a sad moment letting go of once loved skiis and boots
My darling husband passed away two months ago. Now I'm left trying to go through all his things, alone, to declutter our small home. This includes tools, clothing, and all manner of personal items. I find this is a terribly painful process for me. Do you have sny suggestions that might help me?
I suggest you wait to go through your husband's things. It's too soon. 6 months, a year, but your are naturally in a heightened level of grief right now. It's not the time to go through his things; it the time to pass through the stages of grief. Though sad, it will be easier at a later time. Take good care.
Clutter Clarity Thank you for that.
If you like, you can connect with me via my website. A fresh perspective would help, and importantly, 2 months is too soon! You're expecting too much of yourself. Take care, Laura
@@ClutterClarity I will. I do appreciate your kind offer.
My condolences
Take your time
If you feel the need start with socks. Grab Bag and Feel.
Hugz from Cali
7:57 Boom❤🎉
Bruce - thanks for putting a smile on my face. Love Boom ♥ Appreciate your subscribing and sharing for others to enjoy! Take good care, Laura
Well, there it was. I became shocked. My soccer companions in their prestigious rancho....everything... Everything outside of a box.. Floors cluttered, garage tumbling, dogs unleashed.. Rubbish piling. What has happened? So gentle and quiet... The neighbor said tinkering. Hmmm. Retirement is a true undueing
Hi Patricia, It's much more complicated than retirement, what you are describing is decades old, and gets worse as people get older. I suspect that it is all too much for them now. Maybe they refuse help. When it becomes a public health issue the town can be notified. Services provided. thanks for subscribing to get notice of more videos coming soon. Take care, Laura
I also know how smart those two are and not very verbal. I wonder if it is a show of force. Finish, pay student loans, get a stable pairing...Intel people.
There great estate auction dealers... But My neighborhood is more milestone military. They are do it yourself types, but from you..it is a kind process to extend your hand!
11:44
New Yorker
Not Newsweek
My mind almost got cluttered
What happened to the rest of your videos...since 2years ago?
Life. Shift in priorities. Juggling a waiting list to work with me, in limited time, etc. Move videos will come soon. Thanks for your interest. Subscribe so you'l get notice. Take care, Laura
Trust me, it has frustrated me as much as my subscribers! Oh, and then there was the pandemic. New courses, group coaching programs, and videos soon! Stay tuned.
Thank you Laura.I am eagerly waiting.I also already subscribed😊
People who come to my home think it's neat and tidy. BUT! Every desk drawer, kitchen drawer, closet, pantry and chest is jammed.
The public schools are clutter. They were once used but now they are just babysitters for 25 Grand per year per child that don't get used
?
@@RuthEveryoneMakesMusic attendance is extremely inconsistent. Some people keep their children out of school and when children are in school half the time they're not learning a darn thing
@@deadmanswife3625 Unless you, yourself, are a public school employee or volunteer, please do not paint all with the same brush. I've taught 10,000 K-12 students over 36 years (in 11 different schools). You may not have any idea of what actually transpires in a typical classroom. My special area subject matter, many times, came second to teaching children 1) appropriate social expectations, 2) good from bad behavior, 3) empathy/sympathy, 4) critical/creative thinking, and 5) problem solving skills, (and on and on).
Continuing to perpetuate the worn out, and quite untrue, mantra "students are learning nothing in public schools today" is dangerous. Why not get involved? Use your free time to give your talents and insights to future generations. Also, don't believe everything young people tell you happens, or doesn't happen, during a school day. So many are physically present, but mentally absent, due to expectations from social media. Educating children today is one difficult challenge, but if we approach it together, as a positive community, you would be surprised at the results!
@@richarddixon7855 omg.
I'll take a big pass on that one thank you anyway
@@richarddixon7855 I'm sure you're accomplishing much. But I think you could do better in a different Institution. I'll stand by my own opinion. The schools are more harm than good
messy other people take time away from clutter management
Ask that 11-year old daughter which mobile SHE wants to let go. It's the room she lives in.
Thanks for brining this up. You are absolutely right, in principle, yet in the context of this family's life, it wasn't an option. No one answer; we all need to find the right fit for our present circumstances. Thanks for subscribing, more videos to come soon! Take care, Laura