At the moment I am working on how not to react negatively to issues and circumstances that make me feel angry and how I respond to others. I'm starting to confront the feeling and ask myself, why this feeling or thought creates anger and why I react to others aggressively. Then a whole conversation with the mind goes on and I go into the feeling of being present and knowing that I am not the anger, anger is happening to me. It is starting to work and my response to others is improving. I am discovering that this all comes form not being tolerant of others and not accepting things that happen and I have no control over them.
Excellent story, reflection and practice, Edwin! Thank you so much for sparing your time to start a very inspirational conversation here and other place in this channel. Your courage to confront the feeling and ask yourself demonstrates an essential step of the practice of Four Noble Truths. However, normally this act is difficult to do because it is scary. Nevertheless, you conquered the fear (one of the Chris Ryan phrase that we recently discussed (th-cam.com/video/txa8tr3afAE/w-d-xo.html around 45:45) and saw a great outcome. Cheers to and congratulations on your achievement! I hope you will take a moment to cherish what you achieved and recognize a significance of this in the history of your life. You became the one who brought out the positive changes in your life and immediate environment. However, this achievement is a beginning of other achievements in the future. I am curious to know what method of reflection you used and worked for you. Did you write your feelings down or have someone listen to you when you were working on the anger? Looking forward to knowing more about how you are transforming your everyday life into Buddhist practice!
Edwin, the Lotus Sutra Lab study group has helped me get a grasp on a lot of the underlying anger issues I have struggled with these past couple of decades. I am so glad I stumbled across Rissho Kosei Kai last year.
My biggest anxiety stems from me feeling I've not accomplished anything of value in this lifetime and now that I'm in my upper 40s I don't know if I ever will. I don't want to be forgotten 5 minutes after I die.
I appreciate your honesty expressed in your words, Chris. I look forward to celebrating with you when you have a moment in the future where you go feel, "Ah, this is finally something I accomplished in my life! And I'm super proud of that!" Your words reminded me of Tiantai master Zhiyi's words: causes necessarily tend towards results. This means that your aspiration, whatever that may be, necessarily leads to Buddhahood. Let's test those words together by continuing our paths of practice together!
Hi, Chris, I also have, and sometimes feel the very same thing. At 64 it is hard for me but I will continue forward because for some reason I feel that it is not so important as becoming more and more aware of what is and has been, and will be of value.
@@eddieguz1 Hi Edwin! We often feel we are so very alone with these feelings but more often then not those around struggle with many of the same issues. I was having a discussion with a woman 20 years younger then me at work the other day and it was almost like having a conversation with myself. So many of the same fears and anxieties we shared.
My concerns are family debt, family discord, and my own future. I do not really believe that Buddhism will change real problems in the real world. I do, however, believe that Buddhism can have a positive impact with regard to the parties involved in sorting out their minds. I believe that the impact of Buddhism is limited only to the minds of the people concerned. Beyond that, more practical solutions are needed for the real world problems. At any rate, your video is very informative.
Thanks for expressing your concern. When you are ready to talk more about what is going on in your life and consider it from the perspective of Buddhism and Lotus Sutra to actually change it, please consider joining an online study session called Lotus Sutra Lab that I lead every month. You can try some for free. People seem to be feeling comfortable with sharing their honest feelings and perspectives about their lives and actually finding good solutions by expressing their concerns. (FYI: th-cam.com/video/txa8tr3afAE/w-d-xo.html) You made an excellent point in your reflection. "Real changes" and its "limitation" seem to be never brought out through Buddhist action. But this sometimes may not be the case. The "change" that Buddhists expect to see is not like changing something into completely different thing. But the change is like the change of "ice melting into water", "violence melting into peace", "ignorance melting into dharma-nature." They are opposed and yet not really opposed. But an interesting insight of this is to say that if you eliminate ice, there would be no water. In the same way, exclusion of violence eliminates peace. We've got to "melt" violence into peace.
@@AwakenYourInnerBuddha Thanks for the reply. I will consider joining the online study group. > The "change" that Buddhists expect is not the kind of "change" that changes something into something completely different. ... but an interesting insight into this is that if we eliminate ice, there will be no water. Likewise, if we eliminate violence, there will be no peace. We must "melt" violence into peace. The above explanation is too abstract for me to understand. Is this a technique peculiar to religious people, to obscure things with abstract expressions? In the following specific examples, please explain what you mean by change in Buddhism. There is a couple in a place. Usually they are a friendly couple, but sometimes the husband is violent towards his wife. And the wife suffers from her husband's violence. She wants a relationship where the violence will stop. (Generally speaking, we would all want that.) What do you mean by good change in this situation? I think a good change would be the cessation of violence, and if that is difficult, a realistic solution would be the option to separate. You say that a relationship with violence is not in conflict with a relationship without violence, what does that mean in this situation? You also said, "If we eliminate violence, there will be no peace. If we take that to mean exactly what you mean, is their relationship a relationship where there is violence so that there is time to get along? Suppose every time this couple has a discussion, the husband is remorseful and says he will change. If Buddhism and other religions are not useful in the real world, they become entertainment for scholars, some blind believers, and bored people. Please show us a concrete way forward, not just empty theories on the table.
@@asphyxials1819 Given that the wife "wants a relationship where the violence will stop", the good change will start with how the wife understands the violence of the husband. That means she wants to avoid separation as a solution, right? I want to respect her intention. A key for understanding the husband's violence is to ask questions to herself: What is the purpose of my husband's violence? What are some unfulfilled wishes and desires that may have led to his ongoing violence? Instead of blaming him, perhaps counter-intuitively, how can I rather support and help my husband to fulfill these desires in a way that he no longer feels an urge to express his frustration in form of violence? Violence is wrong because it only creates suffering. However, Buddhism goes beyond merely blaming others in a following way: The husband's violence is a sign that he is suffering, which ironically ends up making others such as his wife suffer from his violence. Speaking of how the wife can approach the situation, what can ultimately cease this cycle is not a discussion or an insertion of her perspectives (but it is great that they are in communication and discussing this as an attempt to end the violence), but understanding him. However, here is a weird Buddhist move kicks in: Understanding cannot be achieved unless the wife clearly recognizes that the nature of violence that her husband practices is precisely the nature of her own violence that she has been (perhaps unbeknownst to her) practicing in many aspects of her everyday life. In this sense, the husband is a mirror for her. When she yells at rude drivers on the road, raises her voice in some frustrated situations, they are all expressions of violence practiced without involving physical injuries of others (unlike her husband). However, the nature of violence is shared with that of her husband in those instances. Her first step is that she recognizes her own violent nature,. The second step is that she gradually deepens her understanding of her violent-nature. The goal of these reflections is to recognize her own suffering expressed in form of her own violence. Once she successfully understand sand accepts the reality of her own suffering, she then will be able to more clearly see, understand, and respond with empathy to her husband. This is the good change I am talking about in a Buddhist context. This changes starts with changes of the wife rather than the husband. Perhaps this is counterintuitive, but as long as we are caught up by an ordinary way of conceptualizing the world and our situations, the cycle of suffering is likely to repeat. That's why a theoretical reflection is also useful for some people (but as it didn't work for you, it doesn't work for many.) I wrote this for the wife. What each person can contribute is different. If you are reporting this story as a part of reality of your life, what you can do to make a contribution toward this situation in a buddhist way will be something different. But the good change comes from changing yourself, which is very hard. I hope no one is in an immediate danger. Saving lives should be the first priority. If separation is necessary, I personally think that there is nothing wrong with that. It may serve as offering a good condition for the good change we are talking about here. Thank you for sharing the story and your important questions. Knowing that there is someone like you somewhere in the world who is seriously considering a practical application of spiritual wisdom (Buddhism in the case of this channel) is very encouraging to me. Please come back to this page at your convenience, and I look forward to hearing further updates on your reflection. If the wife or anyone needs a group of support, I have a good Buddhist sangha in mind where people comfortably share their stories of life struggles and their Buddhist practice. These conversations have been very inspiring, comforting, and encouraging for me over the last several years. People can join online if that works. Lastly, please pardon me to talk a little bit about myself. I have been undergoing one of the most intense moments in my academic program. Because of that, I may not be able to check my TH-cam very often throughout the rest of May and entire June. However, if I find your future comments, I will get back to you. If I seem to be unaware of your new comments, could you report that to me in one of my videos? Thank you, and good luck.
Q. What makes you anxious now? How will you approach that anxiety as part of your Buddhist practice?
Best of Luck! Thank you for your videos.
At the moment I am working on how not to react negatively to issues and circumstances that make me feel angry and how I respond to others. I'm starting to confront the feeling and ask myself, why this feeling or thought creates anger and why I react to others aggressively. Then a whole conversation with the mind goes on and I go into the feeling of being present and knowing that I am not the anger, anger is happening to me. It is starting to work and my response to others is improving. I am discovering that this all comes form not being tolerant of others and not accepting things that happen and I have no control over them.
Excellent story, reflection and practice, Edwin! Thank you so much for sparing your time to start a very inspirational conversation here and other place in this channel. Your courage to confront the feeling and ask yourself demonstrates an essential step of the practice of Four Noble Truths. However, normally this act is difficult to do because it is scary. Nevertheless, you conquered the fear (one of the Chris Ryan phrase that we recently discussed (th-cam.com/video/txa8tr3afAE/w-d-xo.html around 45:45) and saw a great outcome. Cheers to and congratulations on your achievement! I hope you will take a moment to cherish what you achieved and recognize a significance of this in the history of your life. You became the one who brought out the positive changes in your life and immediate environment. However, this achievement is a beginning of other achievements in the future. I am curious to know what method of reflection you used and worked for you. Did you write your feelings down or have someone listen to you when you were working on the anger? Looking forward to knowing more about how you are transforming your everyday life into Buddhist practice!
Edwin, the Lotus Sutra Lab study group has helped me get a grasp on a lot of the underlying anger issues I have struggled with these past couple of decades. I am so glad I stumbled across Rissho Kosei Kai last year.
My biggest anxiety stems from me feeling I've not accomplished anything of value in this lifetime and now that I'm in my upper 40s I don't know if I ever will. I don't want to be forgotten 5 minutes after I die.
I appreciate your honesty expressed in your words, Chris. I look forward to celebrating with you when you have a moment in the future where you go feel, "Ah, this is finally something I accomplished in my life! And I'm super proud of that!" Your words reminded me of Tiantai master Zhiyi's words: causes necessarily tend towards results. This means that your aspiration, whatever that may be, necessarily leads to Buddhahood. Let's test those words together by continuing our paths of practice together!
Hi, Chris, I also have, and sometimes feel the very same thing. At 64 it is hard for me but I will continue forward because for some reason I feel that it is not so important as becoming more and more aware of what is and has been, and will be of value.
@@eddieguz1 Hi Edwin! We often feel we are so very alone with these feelings but more often then not those around struggle with many of the same issues. I was having a discussion with a woman 20 years younger then me at work the other day and it was almost like having a conversation with myself. So many of the same fears and anxieties we shared.
@chrisryan512 I take comfort in knowing that in time, all is forgotten.
My concerns are family debt, family discord, and my own future. I do not really believe that Buddhism will change real problems in the real world. I do, however, believe that Buddhism can have a positive impact with regard to the parties involved in sorting out their minds. I believe that the impact of Buddhism is limited only to the minds of the people concerned. Beyond that, more practical solutions are needed for the real world problems.
At any rate, your video is very informative.
Thanks for expressing your concern. When you are ready to talk more about what is going on in your life and consider it from the perspective of Buddhism and Lotus Sutra to actually change it, please consider joining an online study session called Lotus Sutra Lab that I lead every month. You can try some for free. People seem to be feeling comfortable with sharing their honest feelings and perspectives about their lives and actually finding good solutions by expressing their concerns. (FYI: th-cam.com/video/txa8tr3afAE/w-d-xo.html)
You made an excellent point in your reflection. "Real changes" and its "limitation" seem to be never brought out through Buddhist action. But this sometimes may not be the case. The "change" that Buddhists expect to see is not like changing something into completely different thing. But the change is like the change of "ice melting into water", "violence melting into peace", "ignorance melting into dharma-nature." They are opposed and yet not really opposed. But an interesting insight of this is to say that if you eliminate ice, there would be no water. In the same way, exclusion of violence eliminates peace. We've got to "melt" violence into peace.
@@AwakenYourInnerBuddha
Thanks for the reply.
I will consider joining the online study group.
> The "change" that Buddhists expect is not the kind of "change" that changes something into something completely different. ... but an interesting insight into this is that if we eliminate ice, there will be no water. Likewise, if we eliminate violence, there will be no peace. We must "melt" violence into peace.
The above explanation is too abstract for me to understand. Is this a technique peculiar to religious people, to obscure things with abstract expressions?
In the following specific examples, please explain what you mean by change in Buddhism.
There is a couple in a place. Usually they are a friendly couple, but sometimes the husband is violent towards his wife. And the wife suffers from her husband's violence.
She wants a relationship where the violence will stop. (Generally speaking, we would all want that.)
What do you mean by good change in this situation?
I think a good change would be the cessation of violence, and if that is difficult, a realistic solution would be the option to separate.
You say that a relationship with violence is not in conflict with a relationship without violence, what does that mean in this situation?
You also said, "If we eliminate violence, there will be no peace. If we take that to mean exactly what you mean, is their relationship a relationship where there is violence so that there is time to get along?
Suppose every time this couple has a discussion, the husband is remorseful and says he will change.
If Buddhism and other religions are not useful in the real world, they become entertainment for scholars, some blind believers, and bored people. Please show us a concrete way forward, not just empty theories on the table.
@@asphyxials1819 Given that the wife "wants a relationship where the violence will stop", the good change will start with how the wife understands the violence of the husband. That means she wants to avoid separation as a solution, right? I want to respect her intention. A key for understanding the husband's violence is to ask questions to herself: What is the purpose of my husband's violence? What are some unfulfilled wishes and desires that may have led to his ongoing violence? Instead of blaming him, perhaps counter-intuitively, how can I rather support and help my husband to fulfill these desires in a way that he no longer feels an urge to express his frustration in form of violence?
Violence is wrong because it only creates suffering. However, Buddhism goes beyond merely blaming others in a following way: The husband's violence is a sign that he is suffering, which ironically ends up making others such as his wife suffer from his violence. Speaking of how the wife can approach the situation, what can ultimately cease this cycle is not a discussion or an insertion of her perspectives (but it is great that they are in communication and discussing this as an attempt to end the violence), but understanding him. However, here is a weird Buddhist move kicks in: Understanding cannot be achieved unless the wife clearly recognizes that the nature of violence that her husband practices is precisely the nature of her own violence that she has been (perhaps unbeknownst to her) practicing in many aspects of her everyday life. In this sense, the husband is a mirror for her.
When she yells at rude drivers on the road, raises her voice in some frustrated situations, they are all expressions of violence practiced without involving physical injuries of others (unlike her husband). However, the nature of violence is shared with that of her husband in those instances. Her first step is that she recognizes her own violent nature,. The second step is that she gradually deepens her understanding of her violent-nature. The goal of these reflections is to recognize her own suffering expressed in form of her own violence. Once she successfully understand sand accepts the reality of her own suffering, she then will be able to more clearly see, understand, and respond with empathy to her husband. This is the good change I am talking about in a Buddhist context. This changes starts with changes of the wife rather than the husband. Perhaps this is counterintuitive, but as long as we are caught up by an ordinary way of conceptualizing the world and our situations, the cycle of suffering is likely to repeat. That's why a theoretical reflection is also useful for some people (but as it didn't work for you, it doesn't work for many.)
I wrote this for the wife. What each person can contribute is different. If you are reporting this story as a part of reality of your life, what you can do to make a contribution toward this situation in a buddhist way will be something different. But the good change comes from changing yourself, which is very hard.
I hope no one is in an immediate danger. Saving lives should be the first priority. If separation is necessary, I personally think that there is nothing wrong with that. It may serve as offering a good condition for the good change we are talking about here.
Thank you for sharing the story and your important questions. Knowing that there is someone like you somewhere in the world who is seriously considering a practical application of spiritual wisdom (Buddhism in the case of this channel) is very encouraging to me. Please come back to this page at your convenience, and I look forward to hearing further updates on your reflection. If the wife or anyone needs a group of support, I have a good Buddhist sangha in mind where people comfortably share their stories of life struggles and their Buddhist practice. These conversations have been very inspiring, comforting, and encouraging for me over the last several years. People can join online if that works.
Lastly, please pardon me to talk a little bit about myself. I have been undergoing one of the most intense moments in my academic program. Because of that, I may not be able to check my TH-cam very often throughout the rest of May and entire June. However, if I find your future comments, I will get back to you. If I seem to be unaware of your new comments, could you report that to me in one of my videos? Thank you, and good luck.
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