Wynter Foxx I think it was more the description. “This card regards the outcome of the future if you stay on the present course.” The very next thing he clicks crashes the software. Instantrimshot.com
I think the problem is that Clint was pressing the button 3 times for each question, and someone at Sharper Image thought "nothing says 'executive' like 'sassy smart ass.'" Still very annoying, and about as useful as 95% of the rest of Sharper Image's catalog. Sharper Image is like the business world version of all those Wii peripherals from a decade ago - gimmicky gadgets that got boring after a couple uses, and now make up for a substantial portion of today's landfill waste.
The 8-Bit Guy wow can't wait for half life three the 8 ball thing said its confermed LOL dang that allian looks so wears and he smokes LOL and that card is so smart it tells the future of a windows erro LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I've always been very intrigued by tarot. The "future" card you had looks like The Tower, which would be interesting since it's a card that often represents a collapsing of the currently stable forces in your life. Then bam! The computer crashes with a blue screen of death. Probably a coincidence... right?
I've started getting into tarot reading recently. A lot of people think they should avoid the Death or Devil card but really it's The Tower you gotta brace your ass for.
lol "We get it, you vape." Clint, we absolutely LOVE your channel. I'm working my way through watching all of your vids, and my lady loves your sims videos! Please, don't ever stop being awesome nor doing what you do!! We
Wow, that Q-Ball thing is atrocious. I usually have to wait at least a few seconds to be done with something bad, but that thing managed to be annoying since the very beginning.
"Hundreds of generations", eh? Tarot cards being used for divination only goes back to about the 1500s. Even if we allowed for a generation to be 15 years (half the actual average), that's still only 34-35 of 'em.
I like how you seriously analyze a piece of marketing copy from the manual of some obscure piece of novelty software from like the bargain bin at the 99ct store in 97 or something lol..
When I see this executive decision makers, I always picture some guy in a suit in the corner office behind a desk going, "Should I fire Wilkins?" ... BOING BOING BOING! "DEFINITELY!" "Maria, you wanna send Wilkins in here!"
"Tarot has been a trusted source of divinations for hundreds of generations." that implies its been around for AT LEAST two hundred generations Tarot card have been around since 1400, as a generously early estimate. The text on the first page of the book says this came out in 1994, giving a 594 year time span of Tarot use from their inception to this program's creation. Even with the highest reasonable time span and the lowest possible number of generations, 594/200=2.97 Implying that there was a new generation every 2.97 years. Humans cannot even remotely reach sexual maturity before age 3. You could argue that small animals like rabbits can easily make this generation quota feasible, but the fact that this is a computer program with a manual written in English strongly implies that this is a human-centric program, and thus wouldn't make references to the life cycles of other creatures without specifically mentioning the distinction beforehand. Assuming that generations occurred every 15 years, as another generously low estimate, it would take 3000 years to reach 200 generations. That would place tarot cards as having been around since around 1000 B.C. There isn't any evidence of paper being around in that period, much less cards of any sort. Conclusion: This tarot card program may not be strictly reliable.
New York Times April 1, 2017 Obituary Report Today Clint of Lazy Game Reviews (LGR) has passed away. Autopsy shows the cause of death was blue screen. A fatal exception 0E occurred at 0028:00001049, and LGR was subsequently terminated. The outcome was predicted by the program "Cyber Tarot". The accuracy has not only prompted a return of the company to make a sequel, but has also prompted a police investigation. LGR will be remembered as the man who reviewed pointless things for laughs. Even at the expense of his own life. -Random Journalist
if a company employee doesn't have that weird fortune telling pen holder thing, i usually pass over them to give someone else that executive position. Nothing screams upper management material more than seeing a crazy looking alien codpiece complete with metal rod protrusion on someone's desk!
Nah, the magic mice don't have ANY buttons. They're like a trackpad, but you grasp it. Maybe there's some tactile button under there for feels, but it's really meant for tapping. The old one button mice look really cute, though!
As a (novice) Tarot Reader myself, I think the concept of using Tarot to read the future is quite silly. It was invented by an Italian priest/artist as a parlor game. It wasn't until the 1700s/1800s that people used it as a type of "fortune telling." Its really just a Rorschach Test that's been all dressed up.
Clint's look of utter frustration/despair/disappointment when the executive Q-ball sound started up... a more perfect reaction could not be found. "Professional" indeed. Though I could imagine Michael Scott from The Office using it.
I recently picked up a Tandy EXECUTIVE DECISION MAKER, from the early 80's. It's a wood grain desk toy, powered by a single battery, that serves the same purpose as a magic 8-ball. You push a button after asking your question, and it'll illuminate one of 6 boxes with an answer. It seems like something that'll be right up your alley.
I love the idea of a 90's/early2000 tech exec who based all their decisions on that sharper image executive fortune teller. THIS IS WHY WE NO LONGER HAVE LYCOS!!!
Oh, Sharper Image. I remember going to the store in San Francisco as a kid and thinking it was the coolest thing ever. So much overpriced nonsense. I love how their mini catalog has the "Wee bot family trio" robots that look suspiciously like the aliens from Batteries Not Included.
Has there ever been an enfranchised COBOL programmer? I know people who still use LISP (1958). I always thought 'Outlook Not So Good" was commentary on Microsoft's email client.
The Q-ball is something to make small talk about while pouring some drinks for the client you're about to swindle into a deal, that's what makes it executive
Watched a few dozen of your videos and this is easily the funniest so far. I realize thats not usually the goal but you can definitely pull off funny in this type of setting.
I absolutely love the 'targeted' advertising that this video popped up for me. Now I can potentially find out if I have "the true Magick abilities to cast spells", and have a link for online chats with the "world's best psychics"!
I just found your channel and I LOVE it dude. Keep up the great work. I'm a fan of collecting old stuff like this too since I Grew up with it and it feels so homely still. Here in the UK we had a lot of little fun things like robot toys that plugged in by usb to your computer and would do things like read your email.
Oddware is always cool. Those where really great questions thank you Clint's fans on Patron.The 8-ball seemed to say yes too much. Did you ever find out if it where just a mouse? Also it seems the tarot cards are predicting the end of the world(or that's what the blue screen means to me. ) LOL.
Nice that you decided to use the Woodgrain PC for that "Cyber Tarot" thing. I also like how the back of the box for the Windows version shows screenshots of the Mac OS version.
Also very hilarious and timely BSOD. I laughed just as much. You were all series, in the moment acting for the video and boom, BSOD. Totally threw you off and me as well. Great stuff.
Holy shit. I still have the Q Ball in storage. The audio/sound effects/answers are exactly the same as this one. I’ll never forget how obnoxious that thing was, and I never expected to see it’s existence acknowledged on LGR. Or anywhere, for that matter.
Every time you hit the Sharper Image thing and the sound of the glass breaking plays, I expect Stone Cold Steve Austin to pop out and review it with you.
6:00 - "This is a deceptively large package for something that's really not that big." I can't exactly explain why, but the fact that he's holding what looks to be an athletic cup from the year 2176 makes that sentence funnier to me.
Holy moly, haha Clint, when he said to the guy "NOT IN A MILION YEARS", it was so mean but so freakin' funny. Dude, thanks for video, best laugh I had in a while. This was the meanest thing I've heard and it was so god damn gold. It should be your next meme after "Practice Mooooodeeeeeee".
I have watched you almost every day when I saw the first video more than a year ago , you are cool and funny, you are a computer nerd like me keep the good work up
No, the white ball in pool you hit with the cue is called a "cueball" - they just spelled it funny. It maybe is a double entendre with 'question' too though
That Blue Screen of Death when you clicked future was amazing.
He clicked protagonist..
The blue screen of death comes for us all.
I guess the program was a virus.
What, I thought it was telling 1998 computer users about Windows me
Wynter Foxx
I think it was more the description. “This card regards the outcome of the future if you stay on the present course.”
The very next thing he clicks crashes the software. Instantrimshot.com
"It doesn't look nearly as cool as it does on the box." could be Sharper Image's corporate motto.
God, the Qball is one of the most obnoxious things I've ever seen.
Can you ever have enough wood grain?
**BROKEN GLASS NOISES**
Enough already!
The way Clint jumped and disappointingly called the machine unprofessional when he first turned it on made me laugh way too hard
And it looks like it vapes, so it makes sense
I think the problem is that Clint was pressing the button 3 times for each question, and someone at Sharper Image thought "nothing says 'executive' like 'sassy smart ass.'" Still very annoying, and about as useful as 95% of the rest of Sharper Image's catalog.
Sharper Image is like the business world version of all those Wii peripherals from a decade ago - gimmicky gadgets that got boring after a couple uses, and now make up for a substantial portion of today's landfill waste.
Yeah, the que-ball thing looks like a vaping alien.
Haha, glad it wasn't just me then. What a bizarre design.
The 8-Bit Guy wow can't wait for half life three the 8 ball thing said its confermed LOL dang that allian looks so wears and he smokes LOL and that card is so smart it tells the future of a windows erro LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
cringe
The 8-Bit Guy hey David
HOW DO I UNSEE IT OMFG
I think Cyber Tarot just tells the future of your presently running Operating System.
It's honestly not that buggy. Besides, there's way, way worse things that could happen.
4:02 HALF-LIFE 3 CONFIRMED
Yeah :D But then, the entire concept of the 8-Ball thingy was debunked 4:33 :/
You guys did notice the ball didn't say _when_ it's coming, right?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
And just a flat out "YES", too.
Still confirmed! I'm sure my nephews will have a certain date!
i could tell during the q-ball executive you didn't want to deal with it anymore
That thing wore out its welcome faster than you could say "Sharper Image sucks."
Lazy Game Reviews Doohickey!!
Please set it on fire. Or something. I don't care how it's destroyed but it needs to be filmed as a warning to the rest.
Sharper Image su...
Oh wait, nope, it's boring now.
i was waiting for you to smash the thing
"Will I ever get married?"
"Not in a million years!" That was pretty funny
poor jason ..
Huh well given that the magic 8-Ball is just a big USB button couldn't it be use as say, a massive quicksave button? That might actually make it fun.
Alternatively, a massive "minimize all my porn" button.
TheGreatYukon
The best use for it, clearly.
@@YukonHexsun LMAO i want that hahahaha
I've always been very intrigued by tarot. The "future" card you had looks like The Tower, which would be interesting since it's a card that often represents a collapsing of the currently stable forces in your life. Then bam! The computer crashes with a blue screen of death. Probably a coincidence... right?
But what if The Tower could also mean the System Unit, aka the Tower unit? Seems like this could go further...
preposterous that cheap software crashed his windows 98 operating system.
I've started getting into tarot reading recently. A lot of people think they should avoid the Death or Devil card but really it's The Tower you gotta brace your ass for.
Q-ball looks like an uncomfortable bicycle saddle.
With the pen it becomes a saddle aimed at specific gentlemen.
Or Gentlewoman
Ryan Hanselman Quite.
I think that the Q-Ball looks like a very "pleasurable".
It'd be quite comfortable to the goatse guy.
*Windows blue-screens*
Clint from 2017: "I guess that's the future!"
Should we start calling you Nostradamus?
lol "We get it, you vape."
Clint, we absolutely LOVE your channel. I'm working my way through watching all of your vids, and my lady loves your sims videos!
Please, don't ever stop being awesome nor doing what you do!!
We
I lost it right there!
The consistency and quality of this channel is superb. I always look forward to new uploads. Great work is all i can say.
Thank you!
Which version of Windows were you running your Gateway? :)
Wow, that Q-Ball thing is atrocious. I usually have to wait at least a few seconds to be done with something bad, but that thing managed to be annoying since the very beginning.
He was done before he managed to set it on the table. Piece of junk, very indicative of what I'd expect from the Sharper Image catalog.
With how affirmative the 8-ball was, ask it to see if we could potentially get a good Duke Nukem game in the future! Worth a shot at least right?
The Sims 4 is the best Duke Nukem game.
I think you'll find that Shadow Warrior is the best Duke Nukem game, or at least best remake of Build Engine games.
"Hundreds of generations", eh? Tarot cards being used for divination only goes back to about the 1500s. Even if we allowed for a generation to be 15 years (half the actual average), that's still only 34-35 of 'em.
Over-exaggerative advertising. See it all the time, especially now...
And yes, for fast food commercials above most else...yuck.
I like how you seriously analyze a piece of marketing copy from the manual of some obscure piece of novelty software from like the bargain bin at the 99ct store in 97 or something lol..
When I see this executive decision makers, I always picture some guy in a suit in the corner office behind a desk going, "Should I fire Wilkins?" ... BOING BOING BOING! "DEFINITELY!"
"Maria, you wanna send Wilkins in here!"
Please never stop making videos
No worries about that!
Don't worry...Clint's going to keep making videos even in the afterlife. The cards have foreseen it.
"Tarot has been a trusted source of divinations for hundreds of generations."
that implies its been around for AT LEAST two hundred generations
Tarot card have been around since 1400, as a generously early estimate.
The text on the first page of the book says this came out in 1994, giving a 594 year time span of Tarot use from their inception to this program's creation.
Even with the highest reasonable time span and the lowest possible number of generations, 594/200=2.97
Implying that there was a new generation every 2.97 years.
Humans cannot even remotely reach sexual maturity before age 3.
You could argue that small animals like rabbits can easily make this generation quota feasible, but the fact that this is a computer program with a manual written in English strongly implies that this is a human-centric program, and thus wouldn't make references to the life cycles of other creatures without specifically mentioning the distinction beforehand.
Assuming that generations occurred every 15 years, as another generously low estimate, it would take 3000 years to reach 200 generations.
That would place tarot cards as having been around since around 1000 B.C.
There isn't any evidence of paper being around in that period, much less cards of any sort.
Conclusion: This tarot card program may not be strictly reliable.
Dang dood
who said it was just one line's generations? they mean collectively.
it doesn't take a dating error to see that this program is not reliable for any supposed "divine" future predictions
The USB 8 ball was like the entire production crew of the Star Wars prequels, it says yes to almost everything.
New York Times
April 1, 2017
Obituary Report
Today Clint of Lazy Game Reviews (LGR) has passed away. Autopsy shows the cause of death was blue screen. A fatal exception 0E occurred at 0028:00001049, and LGR was subsequently terminated. The outcome was predicted by the program "Cyber Tarot". The accuracy has not only prompted a return of the company to make a sequel, but has also prompted a police investigation. LGR will be remembered as the man who reviewed pointless things for laughs. Even at the expense of his own life.
-Random Journalist
Yay my Toy Story reference wasn't missed 😊
if a company employee doesn't have that weird fortune telling pen holder thing, i usually pass over them to give someone else that executive position. Nothing screams upper management material more than seeing a crazy looking alien codpiece complete with metal rod protrusion on someone's desk!
"Will The Sim 5 suck."
"Give it some time."
Well, that was accurate.
That BSOD was hilarious
5:15 i see a playboy software box
What are you gonna do with it, LGR? :^)
_You know._
6:00 "deceptively large package"
the perfect blend of software, and hardware ;)
"Noice Find!" Moira Brown...
I wonder if he found this randomly at a Goodwill on a shelf full of books for just anyone to buy.
...It's just a button...
-every apple mouse, probably
Nah, the magic mice don't have ANY buttons. They're like a trackpad, but you grasp it. Maybe there's some tactile button under there for feels, but it's really meant for tapping. The old one button mice look really cute, though!
Why can't you have something in between like a lenovo laptop with touch screen controls? That has to at least be modestly advanced.
The blue screen moment was pretty hilarious..
You should be more careful with tarot, combination you got there is known in the trade as black sign or leaking capacitors and two closed goodwills.
OH CRAP
my hometown has two closed goodwills... wait, is the tarot card actually reading MY future!?!
*"We get it, you vape"*
Chuckled hard.
As a (novice) Tarot Reader myself, I think the concept of using Tarot to read the future is quite silly. It was invented by an Italian priest/artist as a parlor game. It wasn't until the 1700s/1800s that people used it as a type of "fortune telling." Its really just a Rorschach Test that's been all dressed up.
I worked at The Sharper Image for a few months. This is the sort of amazing quality that experience taught me to expect.
Clint's look of utter frustration/despair/disappointment when the executive Q-ball sound started up... a more perfect reaction could not be found. "Professional" indeed. Though I could imagine Michael Scott from The Office using it.
I recently picked up a Tandy EXECUTIVE DECISION MAKER, from the early 80's. It's a wood grain desk toy, powered by a single battery, that serves the same purpose as a magic 8-ball. You push a button after asking your question, and it'll illuminate one of 6 boxes with an answer. It seems like something that'll be right up your alley.
I love the idea of a 90's/early2000 tech exec who based all their decisions on that sharper image executive fortune teller.
THIS IS WHY WE NO LONGER HAVE LYCOS!!!
"......well, that's very professional". Lol
Every time I hear Clint start with "Greetings", I think "Hey, that guy would make a great voice actor..."
You haven't heard good Duke Nukem impressions?
Oh, Sharper Image. I remember going to the store in San Francisco as a kid and thinking it was the coolest thing ever. So much overpriced nonsense.
I love how their mini catalog has the "Wee bot family trio" robots that look suspiciously like the aliens from Batteries Not Included.
This episode is like a bottomless treasure chest of funny Clint faces!
Has there ever been an enfranchised COBOL programmer? I know people who still use LISP (1958). I always thought 'Outlook Not So Good" was commentary on Microsoft's email client.
Fry'sAcidTest I would argue that lisp is a very elegant language even by today's standards. I wouldn't say the same for COBOL.
That BSOD was the funniest thing ever! It's like you planned it.
That thing came out in 2011, yet the screenshots in the manual were made with a Windows XP computer... Says a lot about Perfect Solutions.
I was summoned by the phrase AESTHETIC and Vapor Wave.
The Q-ball is something to make small talk about while pouring some drinks for the client you're about to swindle into a deal, that's what makes it executive
Back in the old Windows days a blue screen predictor would have been nice so you could save first.
"This position shows the outcome of this issue if you stay on the present course" :D
LGR is the only channel I watch that makes me laugh out loud. Great stuff.
"Because these are uncertain times."
That line made me think this vid was from 3 weeks ago, not 3 years hahah.
Love how you just googled "fortune teller" and just picked out one of the first images to go on your desktop - proper lazy game reviews! 😴
9:00 ohhh.. that's sad to know....
Thanks for one more amazing video, Clint ;)
Cheers!
Watched a few dozen of your videos and this is easily the funniest so far. I realize thats not usually the goal but you can definitely pull off funny in this type of setting.
excitedly waiting for your new pen reviews.
I absolutely love the 'targeted' advertising that this video popped up for me. Now I can potentially find out if I have "the true Magick abilities to cast spells", and have a link for online chats with the "world's best psychics"!
Joe Homer let me tell you: the world's best psychics have better things to do with their time
Copyright 2011? WTF.
5ch3nk it feels like it came from the late 90s
proudly labeled with the quality seal of approval "Made In China", because that's where all the best hardware and software is made, right?
I like how is was just a flat out "yes" for Half Life 3. Your mention of vaporwave also pleases me.
Glad you got to do my question (Pam)! The Tarot reading crashing was hilarious.
That face after Half life 3 confirmed; you always make me smile LGR! ♡
I just found your channel and I LOVE it dude. Keep up the great work. I'm a fan of collecting old stuff like this too since I Grew up with it and it feels so homely still. Here in the UK we had a lot of little fun things like robot toys that plugged in by usb to your computer and would do things like read your email.
2017: These are uncertain times
2020: Hold my magic 8ball
2022: Hold my... Shit, ain't got nothing left.
12:33 I bet you truly didn't see that BSOD coming! LOL
You got me literally on the floor when that BSOD popped up! Hilarious!😂🤣
Oddware is always cool. Those where really great questions thank you Clint's fans on Patron.The 8-ball seemed to say yes too much. Did you ever find out if it where just a mouse? Also it seems the tarot cards are predicting the end of the world(or that's what the blue screen means to me. ) LOL.
Nice entropy question, but it should have been the last question.
I'm quite disappointed in the fact there's no cartoony god voice echoing things like "IT- IS- DECIDEDLY- SOOooo"
Nice that you decided to use the Woodgrain PC for that "Cyber Tarot" thing. I also like how the back of the box for the Windows version shows screenshots of the Mac OS version.
Also very hilarious and timely BSOD. I laughed just as much. You were all series, in the moment acting for the video and boom, BSOD. Totally threw you off and me as well. Great stuff.
Holy shit. I still have the Q Ball in storage. The audio/sound effects/answers are exactly the same as this one. I’ll never forget how obnoxious that thing was, and I never expected to see it’s existence acknowledged on LGR. Or anywhere, for that matter.
Every time you hit the Sharper Image thing and the sound of the glass breaking plays, I expect Stone Cold Steve Austin to pop out and review it with you.
'these are uncertain times'
(checks the date)
ohhhhh you have no idea..
The future is a blue screen? I mean, sometimes it feels like that's what my mind is doing I guess.
Clint's laugh is the best.
Is it me, or are that 8ball answers positive 9 times out of 10?
Oh yeah, the Magic Fartknocker Ball...lol
Signs point to yes.
Outlook looks good
"And it happens that Qball Executive learned how to reverse Entropy.
And Qball Executive said: 'May there be light'
And there was light."
i just so happened to be reading about that book
Fun fact: most of the "executive" decisions from the 90s were made with these devices and lots of cocaine.
6:00 - "This is a deceptively large package for something that's really not that big."
I can't exactly explain why, but the fact that he's holding what looks to be an athletic cup from the year 2176 makes that sentence funnier to me.
Holy moly, haha Clint, when he said to the guy "NOT IN A MILION YEARS", it was so mean but so freakin' funny. Dude, thanks for video, best laugh I had in a while. This was the meanest thing I've heard and it was so god damn gold.
It should be your next meme after "Practice Mooooodeeeeeee".
The face you made when you started using the Qball was great
Funny how 'These are uncertain times' applies in different ways in different times.
12:31 - Yep, the BSoD pretty much sums up my thoughts on Tarot as well!
"Guess I'll try entropy" *blows the QBall exec up* "Y'know, that IS better!"
The future: BSOD! Man, that was perfect.
I have watched you almost every day when I saw the first video more than a year ago , you are cool and funny, you are a computer nerd like me keep the good work up
This episode was very entertaining. Thank you Clint!
I thought tarot started being used for divination in the mid-late 18th century. So that claim of 100's of generations seems like a blatant lie.
The computer nailed that last prediction. Humans are going to descend into a self made catastrophe.
Does using the Cyber Tarot make you a Cyber Tarot-ist?
I lost it at the Blue screen
I'm so glad I watched till the end!
11:57 OMG IT WAS RIGHT.
Warning from the future. Just turn back at 2019. Or skip forward. Let me know how the end of 2021 is though!
Great ending lol. Love this channel.
I saw Ys in the background, maybe a review is in our future? Great video as always!
I can't believe Clint's tarot program predicted 2020
i love your laugh! its geniune unlike other creators who just force it out
Thank you LGR! BSOD cracked up while I was packing to go camping. The Future is NOW!!
Here in 2020 thanks to the black hole that is TH-cam:
“These are uncertain times”
SHIT, THEY WORK
"Q-ball" possibly stood/stands for "Question-ball"? It was the first thing that popped into my head anyway... Good vid!
No, the white ball in pool you hit with the cue is called a "cueball" - they just spelled it funny. It maybe is a double entendre with 'question' too though
The look of joy on your face when it said yes to half life 3 was wonderous.....
At 12:07, the perfect description of 2020
Technology is a strange but interesting thing.... Nice video BTW LGR
I lost it at "is lgr government propaganda".
ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED!!