I am a bit awkward and always have been quirky and never understood the idea of 'settling' for a nice guy when it was all I sought. This video made me understand how some women feel and why they go out with the bad boy. I was always attracted to why the nice guy was quiet and what he liked. Call it intrigue. My parents have been married 57 years so that part you mention about the father being an influence could be why I sought the nice guy. I speak to my father more than my mom and he has been my bff since I could talk. That influence absolutely shaped my idea of what a man was. Thanks for the information here.
But the kind guy doesn't get his wife that settled for him's 'best' he doesn't get her best effort aesthetically, intimately, or generally engaging in the relationship long term =/ I don't know which is worse.
@@facelessman5362 I don’t think it’s possible to be in a long term commitment and only have someone’s “best”. Close relationships require you to reveal yourself and who it is that you are, which is likely complex and varied. Your partner will see all sides of you, not just the good. I think kindness pays dividends long term, but you need to choose the right partner who will respect and appreciate that. Thank you for your comment!
Like this maybe Its helpful some problems will be solved.....because i think Its upon Husbands to solve problems to give solutions to problems not wifes or womens to be blame.... Its Husbands duty ...... Naturally God has given him the power to Lead and Make decisions.
No, choose a lover based on physical attraction, character and values... For example, "You bring out the animal in me and I'm going to rip that dress off you, even if it means we walk into church late..."
@@gle7isa this is a great question! I think the answer is yes (in part). Love is essential but isn’t enough for a relationship to be functional long term IMO.
@@Clockwork.Lemon854you don’t have to be “settled for” guy. Many women will eventually choose their mate after learning some life lessons and getting some dating experience. At that point it will not feel like settling, it will feel like she’s choosing the right man. Thank you for your comment!
@@MrsHHartWhy does that feel like a turn off to men though? Like why does a women who had to learn life lessons to know our value feel so off putting? Is there an evolutionary reason for this? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I think even if the woman feels 100% that the guy for her is the guy she has, as a man, the fact that she had to experience others and compare and contrast to find out is an instant turn off. At least from within myself, it feels like the whole point of a wife, to me, is a space where I am not being placed in competition. And to have my value be determined by that very process, feels as though it defeats the whole point. But I don’t really understand that feeling. And since you are a woman, a lot of your videos, I still see and sense the tone of “but that’s okay because xyz reconciliation!” But it doesn’t feel fully reconciled because it’s missing the male feeling about all of this & to some degree over exaggerates how much men like to compete. Not a critique of your work per se. Just my observations as I’ve scanned through your channel. I am enjoying it though. Once I sit with the uncomfortable feelings, there is a clear mindedness in how you view everything that is rubbing off on me for sure.
I am a bit awkward and always have been quirky and never understood the idea of 'settling' for a nice guy when it was all I sought.
This video made me understand how some women feel and why they go out with the bad boy.
I was always attracted to why the nice guy was quiet and what he liked. Call it intrigue.
My parents have been married 57 years so that part you mention about the father being an influence could be why I sought the nice guy.
I speak to my father more than my mom and he has been my bff since I could talk. That influence absolutely shaped my idea of what a man was.
Thanks for the information here.
This really shows how diverse attraction can be among women, and I think much of this is inherited (not learned). Thank you for sharing this!
@MrsHHart I think so too, inherited vs learned. I am glad you are speaking about this. Welcome!
But the kind guy doesn't get his wife that settled for him's 'best' he doesn't get her best effort aesthetically, intimately, or generally engaging in the relationship long term =/ I don't know which is worse.
@@facelessman5362 I don’t think it’s possible to be in a long term commitment and only have someone’s “best”. Close relationships require you to reveal yourself and who it is that you are, which is likely complex and varied. Your partner will see all sides of you, not just the good. I think kindness pays dividends long term, but you need to choose the right partner who will respect and appreciate that. Thank you for your comment!
Like this maybe Its helpful some problems will be solved.....because i think Its upon Husbands to solve problems to give solutions to problems not wifes or womens to be blame....
Its Husbands duty ...... Naturally God has given him the power to Lead and Make decisions.
Evolutionarily, I understand why it happened, but it ended up being a cruel joke nature has played on us (both women and men).
@@DoctorHemi I agree there is a kind of tragedy about the human condition but also much to be grateful for as well. Thank you for your comment!
The whole human experience is insane.. very badly designed.
Should we choose a husband based on reason?
No, choose a lover based on physical attraction, character and values...
For example, "You bring out the animal in me and I'm going to rip that dress off you, even if it means we walk into church late..."
@@gle7isa this is a great question! I think the answer is yes (in part). Love is essential but isn’t enough for a relationship to be functional long term IMO.
Why would a man want to be the settled for guy?
What is in it for him?
Better to be the heartbreaker or be alone. Women do not deserve good men.
@@Clockwork.Lemon854you don’t have to be “settled for” guy. Many women will eventually choose their mate after learning some life lessons and getting some dating experience. At that point it will not feel like settling, it will feel like she’s choosing the right man. Thank you for your comment!
@@MrsHHartWhy does that feel like a turn off to men though? Like why does a women who had to learn life lessons to know our value feel so off putting? Is there an evolutionary reason for this?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I think even if the woman feels 100% that the guy for her is the guy she has, as a man, the fact that she had to experience others and compare and contrast to find out is an instant turn off.
At least from within myself, it feels like the whole point of a wife, to me, is a space where I am not being placed in competition. And to have my value be determined by that very process, feels as though it defeats the whole point.
But I don’t really understand that feeling. And since you are a woman, a lot of your videos, I still see and sense the tone of “but that’s okay because xyz reconciliation!” But it doesn’t feel fully reconciled because it’s missing the male feeling about all of this & to some degree over exaggerates how much men like to compete.
Not a critique of your work per se. Just my observations as I’ve scanned through your channel. I am enjoying it though. Once I sit with the uncomfortable feelings, there is a clear mindedness in how you view everything that is rubbing off on me for sure.
Most of these men are passive aggressive and unintelligent. Women do give them a chance. Then these men show their true colours.
You sound bitter. If most "nice guy" are passive aggressive and unintelligent wouldn't it mean that they aren't "nice guy"? 🤔