I want you all to know to please separate osamu dazai (the character) and osamu dazai (the author) a lot of people seem to treat this mans mental stability as some joke because "omg that's a bsd reference!!" His suicide was not some reference or think to compare to a character. He was an incredibly talented but struggling man and think we should separate him and the character based on him
@@karanjotsingh1873 ikr!! Literally thr comment under me is saying omg just like dazai said u vang commit double suicide alone... like dude hes a character the mans life was not fictional it's not funny
It's actually five. The first one is from overdosing probably due to the fact that his favourite author, Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, had commited suicide. Then the second attempt was drowning, with Shimeko Tanabe, but he survived and Tanabe didn't. The third attempt was hanging himself in 1935, due to the failure of employeement for Tokyo Shimbun and being cheated on by Hatsuyo Oyama, his second lover. The fourth attempt, was overdosing again, with Hatsuyo Oyama. They bother survived, but got divorced afterwards. Then he cheated on Michiko Tsushima, and commited his final suicide with Tomie Yamazaki by drowning.
So much suffering man....he wasn't necessarily a good person, having cheated with many women but this is beyond depressing. So many factors that just caused his life to spiral out of control. Found out about him like a year ago from his "no longer human" novel but had no idea about his life until stumbling across this video.
I believe the cheating aspect has alot to do with his depression. Individuals that have a history of mood disorders such as depression usually struggle with a sexual addiction or compulsion. So the point im trying to get across is this - everyone is good or bad in some ways. I dont think it's fair to characterize him as a bad person just because he cheated on multiple women. The act of cheating is viewed as immoral by society. Even I myself would think that im not capable of cheating but the truth is I just havent reach the breaking point of life.
Osama Dazai was my favorite book author and no longer Human is one of his best works. It's explain the fear, lonely, depressed, isolation and more feelings at this society if u're a nobody or a stranger or something. I feel this book and I'm very sad he's past away bcs I believe he would be healthy with psychology therapy. He was a interesting person and his work it's a great novel for persons with social phobia or depression. Rest in peace Osama Dazai.... Love you
Imagine dedicating almost your whole life to writing and finally being recognized as one of the most iconic WW2 japanese writer just to be discovered from some edgy kids as an anime character, feels bad man... :'(
I just found out about him and I’ll be learning more. It’s sad how a lot hide the pain behind the smile. I want to know more because I find his story to be important.
Thank you for the video! I just finished, "No Longer Human". Naturally I had to find out more! I can't wait to get my hands on some more Osamu Dazai works. Eery how well Junji Ito drew all the characters. You can tell who is who by just these images.
Wow, Dazai and Akutagawa switched roles in the Bungo Stray Dogs anime. Akutagawa always seeking for Dazai’s approval and Dazai being his mentor always ignores him.
I love No Longer Human! There's also an animated film version of it, that you didn't mention. It's visually beautiful, and really captures the mood. I haven't watched the other adaptations though tbh, so I can't compare. Such a tragic waste that Dazai finally 'suceeded' in taking his own life. I hope his soul has found peace. Edit: Actually, I think the anime 'film' that I saw might have been the 4-part anime series, but when I saw it on French TV they showed all the episodes back to back as 1 full length film. In any case, I thoroughly recommend it. Although I would say that it's probably not a good idea to watch it if you're feeling suicidal. And for anyone who is feeling suicidal, here's a huge HUG for you. Just know that this stranger on the other side of the world loves you and cares about you. Please be kind to yourself - you're worth more than you think.
there is this part in no longer human where yozo pat that time was depressed because his work didnt sell he turned to alcohol and smoking he started noticing a difference in the way his family has become one time he came back home and found his wife and her daughter having a great moment where they brought him a gift and happily waiting for him to surprise him to make him feel better at that moment he realized how much he's making their life miserable and how they were alot happier without him and how much effort they make to make him happier but he still cant feel the happiness and decided to leave them to let them enjoy their life without his miseranle self I think that the part where he explains why he left is like a reason for his real wife and daughter or more like an apology explaining why he abandonded them because he thought theyd be happier without him
I've read the Novel "no longer human" since i was a bsd fans and just realize that they refferencing dazai's(bsd) characteristic from the novel. And i bought the book after a week i watched this video. There is a lot words that i don't understand in the novel, and the thing i feel/understand just his pain. (Spoiler )He wrote that when he draws comic about his village he often cried because his family already disown him. Its kinda hurt to read the novel ngl, because i can feel the depression form the novel, he want to happy, but he failed. Rest in peace dazai. Hope you'll feel happiness and freedom in heaven I want to buy the book by fyodor, but im pretty sure i won't understand a single things and i dont want that my mum found out the novel i bought is about deppression and suicide bcs she will ask me questions
Yep the book is pretty depressing, osamu really did had a struggling life, sad but rest in peace, i also read "no longer human", im still on a few pages like the 60-80th page, pretty sad he made great novels a classical in japan
I’m curious about all the other people that attempted to kill themselves along with him. Was this a normal part of the culture? Or did he carry this with him and bring others to feeling the same? I’m curious.
Yes it's a cultural thing. Lovers committing suicide together was pretty common in japan back then. We call it 心中(shinjū) or 情死(jōshi). I remember reading that there were more than a hundred of double suicides during 1895 to 1898 somewhere.
@@weareone2854 My pleasure:) There are also quite a few Kabuki or Bunraku (traditional japanese puppet theater) plays about lovers suicides. Maybe the most famous one is a Bunraku play named 曽根崎心中(Sonezaki Shinjū) or 'The Love Suicides at Sonezaki.' Here's the wiki link, so please check it out if you're interested. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Love_Suicides_at_Sonezaki?wprov=sfla1
@@carmelinapinz4482 He is areal person who tried suicide 3 times waking up for him so a suffer because he feels like an outcast no matter how many times people told him that he is loved and that he is worthy of love.
The fact that in no longer human Oba's attempt was an almost exact replica of Dazai's first attempt I related to a lot of things in no longer human to an almost scary extent, which it now makes sense as to why i was so drawn to the character osamu dazai from bungo stray dogs, tbf the author of bungo stray dogs did a pretty good job at referencing not only Dazais life itself but his writing too
Came here after reading junji ito’s ‘no longer human ‘ adaptation. I was wondering if a whole lot of the book was based on him ? Or is even an autobiography as such ?
The original novel is heavily, and i mean HEAVILY influenced by osamu dazais life, there are some parts of the book that are word to word reenactments of his life
I am currently reading No Longer Human! It's so heavy, dark, mournful, and so so detailed. Beautifully written by Dazai. Though, I started reading this book few months ago, I cannoy read it continously because of its heaviness (emotionally), I have to put it down a lot of times and take a breather. It was a book of unveiling, seeing, and feeling. I will take my time reading this.
Okay, so now I kinda understand why Dazai is always trying to kill himself. And reads a book about it. And also obsessing over committing a double suicide with a pretty young lady. Aaaand, Akutagawa always wanting Dazai's attention. Kafka Asagiri, you sly Stray Dog
he isn’t a character :) he’s a man with many tragedies while i get u are referencing the character based on him they are two separate things and i think they should be compared
Interestingly Not just dazai, but lot of the real life authors that the bungo stray dogs characters were named after and based on also had difficult lives, lived at wrote during periods of war and/or social, political, economic etc. turmoil, and died at young ages.
this kind of life and book there's a lot of, most of which never become famous outside of their countries of origin, although The Sorrows of Young Werther (dreadful, don't bother) kickstarted the Romantic movement so is an exception. Devil in the Flesh, His Woman, that kind of book
I started watching getting into the bsd fandom yesterday, honestly knowing this makes me feel strange but I hope if he finally rests and I also want to buy his book but my parents would probably not let me but when I am older, I plan on buying it.
I am sure some of you may offend but, i gotta say I just finished a manga "Domestic Girlfriend " and after looking on internet more about it.... its the same story in manga.... MC is boy who married his school teacher just as Osamu Dazai.... Mc tried to committee double suicide with his girlfriend but stepped backward.. although things are not completely same but.. still.... Mc in manga had a wife which he abandoned with a kid just like Dazai...and after this Mc married the teacher. Just time Dazai... also Mc's Line's profile Dp was of Dazai....Mc was a writer too... he wrote about literature and fantasy too
I know this is an old comment but like I agree, sometimes BSD community can took things "too far" When it comes to discovering the characters real life self. They literally joking about Dazai's suffering (The real life ver, not anime), like bro that's disrespectful af..
Clearly he was talented, but it seems to me too many other suffering artists identify with and romanticize that side of him. Odd that he always survived the double-suicides and the other person did not. I've never seen someone with such a bad suicide success rate. Modern psychologists could make a strong argument that he clearly didn't want to die.
in japan, there was/is a really popular thing in past days called “shinju” meaning lovers suicide/double suicide which means if you die with your lover you will find them in next life too??? thats what i can remember rn, you can read more about “shinju”
(SPOILERS) Yes. he does speak of his first attempt in his book and at the end of the story they make it seem like he succeeded in his attempt. It's a very good book in my opinion. You should read it.
No, no longer human is originally a Japanese novel written by osamu dazai. Junji ito is a manga horror artist who adapted osamu dazai work and turn it into a manga form. But the story is pretty much the same.
@@sehyonjoh they're just trying to feel better about themselves since they're the real failure for criticizing someone who was hurt and managed to turn that pain into art
He is literally one of the most iconic writers in Japan, I mean No Longer Human ranks as the 2nd best-selling novel there. He wasn't a failure, he was a victim of this world.
Here is the audiobook YT link: th-cam.com/video/MOhGk1KqSLY/w-d-xo.html i'm on 2hrs+ so far it seems like he has a mental illness since he was very young and is literally drowning in self-pity as he age... which is affecting me so i needed a pause and here i am now, which i shouldn't have done because i "low-key" spoiled my self with this 5 min clip.
I want you all to know to please separate osamu dazai (the character) and osamu dazai (the author) a lot of people seem to treat this mans mental stability as some joke because "omg that's a bsd reference!!" His suicide was not some reference or think to compare to a character. He was an incredibly talented but struggling man and think we should separate him and the character based on him
I agree!
Yes they different
Unlike dazai form stray dogs
Nothing about osamu dazai life is funny
It should be taken a lot more seriously
@@karanjotsingh1873 ikr!! Literally thr comment under me is saying omg just like dazai said u vang commit double suicide alone... like dude hes a character the mans life was not fictional it's not funny
@@karanjotsingh1873 Tbh the same goes for the character Dazai...
@@notdumbrella6399 okay?
Damn 3 suicide attempts this man was destined not to die
yea but he died tho
He succeeded later...
Is actually said that he tried commiting suicide 5 times. With the 5th being successful.
Yeah but on the third one...
It's actually five. The first one is from overdosing probably due to the fact that his favourite author, Ryūnosuke Akutagawa, had commited suicide. Then the second attempt was drowning, with Shimeko Tanabe, but he survived and Tanabe didn't. The third attempt was hanging himself in 1935, due to the failure of employeement for Tokyo Shimbun and being cheated on by Hatsuyo Oyama, his second lover. The fourth attempt, was overdosing again, with Hatsuyo Oyama. They bother survived, but got divorced afterwards. Then he cheated on Michiko Tsushima, and commited his final suicide with Tomie Yamazaki by drowning.
So much suffering man....he wasn't necessarily a good person, having cheated with many women but this is beyond depressing. So many factors that just caused his life to spiral out of control. Found out about him like a year ago from his "no longer human" novel but had no idea about his life until stumbling across this video.
I believe the cheating aspect has alot to do with his depression. Individuals that have a history of mood disorders such as depression usually struggle with a sexual addiction or compulsion. So the point im trying to get across is this - everyone is good or bad in some ways. I dont think it's fair to characterize him as a bad person just because he cheated on multiple women. The act of cheating is viewed as immoral by society. Even I myself would think that im not capable of cheating but the truth is I just havent reach the breaking point of life.
@@chasingskiess Actually he may have bpd which explains his self-harming tendencies, unstable relationships, and many more symptoms
Serves him r8 lol idc
@@chasingskiess he has good looking privileged so thats why women flock to him
Osama Dazai was my favorite book author and no longer Human is one of his best works. It's explain the fear, lonely, depressed, isolation and more feelings at this society if u're a nobody or a stranger or something. I feel this book and I'm very sad he's past away bcs I believe he would be healthy with psychology therapy. He was a interesting person and his work it's a great novel for persons with social phobia or depression.
Rest in peace Osama Dazai.... Love you
oof.. so much suffering.
It's like he took the bad route in every plot choice... which leads to the inevitable bad end.
Imagine dedicating almost your whole life to writing and finally being recognized as one of the most iconic WW2 japanese writer just to be discovered from some edgy kids as an anime character, feels bad man... :'(
The right ones will recognise him for who he is so it's alright
I just found out about him and I’ll be learning more. It’s sad how a lot hide the pain behind the smile. I want to know more because I find his story to be important.
It’s even more sad that there are still depressed and suicidal people out there just waiting to end their lives.. 😔
Thank you for the video! I just finished, "No Longer Human". Naturally I had to find out more! I can't wait to get my hands on some more Osamu Dazai works. Eery how well Junji Ito drew all the characters. You can tell who is who by just these images.
I just finished No Longer Human by Junji Ito. I feel as it is the perfect adaptation. Anyone else?
yes
Junji ito?
@@irem-ux1qd Yes. Juni Ito.
@@HideoGojira i think no longer human is by osamu dazai :O i’ll search it
@@HideoGojira ohhh i found it. sorry
Wow, Dazai and Akutagawa switched roles in the Bungo Stray Dogs anime. Akutagawa always seeking for Dazai’s approval and Dazai being his mentor always ignores him.
I love No Longer Human! There's also an animated film version of it, that you didn't mention. It's visually beautiful, and really captures the mood. I haven't watched the other adaptations though tbh, so I can't compare. Such a tragic waste that Dazai finally 'suceeded' in taking his own life. I hope his soul has found peace.
Edit: Actually, I think the anime 'film' that I saw might have been the 4-part anime series, but when I saw it on French TV they showed all the episodes back to back as 1 full length film. In any case, I thoroughly recommend it. Although I would say that it's probably not a good idea to watch it if you're feeling suicidal. And for anyone who is feeling suicidal, here's a huge HUG for you. Just know that this stranger on the other side of the world loves you and cares about you. Please be kind to yourself - you're worth more than you think.
Thanks E
there is this part in no longer human where yozo pat that time was depressed because his work didnt sell he turned to alcohol and smoking he started noticing a difference in the way his family has become one time he came back home and found his wife and her daughter having a great moment where they brought him a gift and happily waiting for him to surprise him to make him feel better at that moment he realized how much he's making their life miserable and how they were alot happier without him and how much effort they make to make him happier but he still cant feel the happiness and decided to leave them to let them enjoy their life without his miseranle self I think that the part where he explains why he left is like a reason for his real wife and daughter or more like an apology explaining why he abandonded them because he thought theyd be happier without him
I've read the Novel "no longer human" since i was a bsd fans and just realize that they refferencing dazai's(bsd) characteristic from the novel. And i bought the book after a week i watched this video. There is a lot words that i don't understand in the novel, and the thing i feel/understand just his pain. (Spoiler )He wrote that when he draws comic about his village he often cried because his family already disown him. Its kinda hurt to read the novel ngl, because i can feel the depression form the novel, he want to happy, but he failed. Rest in peace dazai. Hope you'll feel happiness and freedom in heaven
I want to buy the book by fyodor, but im pretty sure i won't understand a single things and i dont want that my mum found out the novel i bought is about deppression and suicide bcs she will ask me questions
i really hope you did buy a book by fyodor dostoevsky, it's a part of school literature program in my country, very interesting.
Yep the book is pretty depressing, osamu really did had a struggling life, sad but rest in peace, i also read "no longer human", im still on a few pages like the 60-80th page, pretty sad he made great novels a classical in japan
I'm gonna cry
I’m curious about all the other people that attempted to kill themselves along with him. Was this a normal part of the culture? Or did he carry this with him and bring others to feeling the same? I’m curious.
Yes it's a cultural thing. Lovers committing suicide together was pretty common in japan back then. We call it 心中(shinjū) or 情死(jōshi). I remember reading that there were more than a hundred of double suicides during 1895 to 1898 somewhere.
@@weareone2854 My pleasure:) There are also quite a few Kabuki or Bunraku (traditional japanese puppet theater) plays about lovers suicides. Maybe the most famous one is a Bunraku play named 曽根崎心中(Sonezaki Shinjū) or 'The Love Suicides at Sonezaki.'
Here's the wiki link, so please check it out if you're interested.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Love_Suicides_at_Sonezaki?wprov=sfla1
Yes suicide is more like a trend in Japan ;)
:0 Just like dazai osamu said *"You can't commit double suicide alone"* I also like his supernatural power called *"No longer human"* He's spoopy too.
@Orville Bernardo Shinju~
XD
My fav character
They are nothing alike
Read no longer human
I know this is from a year ago but please don’t compare a real life poet to an anime character based off of him.
@@karanjotsingh1873 they are, they both play the clown. if u analyze bsd dazais and yozos character, they share alot of things :)
Bungou stray dogs 😔
2:09 dazai
0:58 Akutagawa 📍
MITSURI KAWAII yo wtf I never thought about, this is mindblowing for me
my babbbyyyyyy
@@carmelinapinz4482 He is areal person who tried suicide 3 times waking up for him so a suffer because he feels like an outcast no matter how many times people told him that he is loved and that he is worthy of love.
Bruh he's a real person I know you love anime but show some respect
The fact that in no longer human Oba's attempt was an almost exact replica of Dazai's first attempt
I related to a lot of things in no longer human to an almost scary extent, which it now makes sense as to why i was so drawn to the character osamu dazai from bungo stray dogs, tbf the author of bungo stray dogs did a pretty good job at referencing not only Dazais life itself but his writing too
Came here after reading junji ito’s ‘no longer human ‘ adaptation. I was wondering if a whole lot of the book was based on him ? Or is even an autobiography as such ?
same, i came here straight after reading junji's adaptation and it appears most of it was based on certain moments of his life
From what I have read. It is similar but different plots at the end. Also more pictorial horror.
The original novel is heavily, and i mean HEAVILY influenced by osamu dazais life, there are some parts of the book that are word to word reenactments of his life
O dude that not the no longer human you should read
@@FireDreamShow it is as if no longer human is an autobiography of his to a certain extent
This was awesome!!
I am reading his books...he is great!
I am currently reading No Longer Human! It's so heavy, dark, mournful, and so so detailed. Beautifully written by Dazai. Though, I started reading this book few months ago, I cannoy read it continously because of its heaviness (emotionally), I have to put it down a lot of times and take a breather. It was a book of unveiling, seeing, and feeling. I will take my time reading this.
Me too
So like basically Osamu Dazai from Bungou Stray Dogs is referenced from this. I see things clearly now.
So, the novel that odasaku(bsd) try to finish is "good-bye" novel?
smart
tyeet you hella smart
Okay, so now I kinda understand why Dazai is always trying to kill himself. And reads a book about it. And also obsessing over committing a double suicide with a pretty young lady.
Aaaand, Akutagawa always wanting Dazai's attention.
Kafka Asagiri, you sly Stray Dog
he isn’t a character :) he’s a man with many tragedies while i get u are referencing the character based on him they are two separate things and i think they should be compared
*shouldnt be
Interestingly Not just dazai, but lot of the real life authors that the bungo stray dogs characters were named after and based on also had difficult lives, lived at wrote during periods of war and/or social, political, economic etc. turmoil, and died at young ages.
this kind of life and book there's a lot of, most of which never become famous outside of their countries of origin, although The Sorrows of Young Werther (dreadful, don't bother) kickstarted the Romantic movement so is an exception. Devil in the Flesh, His Woman, that kind of book
I started watching getting into the bsd fandom yesterday, honestly knowing this makes me feel strange but I hope if he finally rests and I also want to buy his book but my parents would probably not let me but when I am older, I plan on buying it.
Soo... bsd anyone?
I've started watching bungo stray dogs but I still need to finish it! Haven't gotten far on it.
PRESENT!!!
Here
Versusblue you should really watch its fireee 🔥
@@kyukaizumi6027 I will! I have the first manga but I've been overloaded with anime lately!
Good job man
Poor guy :(
very informative thank you !
Yushiko with the shopkeeper :(
Double suicide... that is harsh....
This was probably in bsd fans recommendstions
andd...you’re correct😃
I searched it up lol
It was
Now when I listen to "Yoru Ni Kakeru" it reminds me of Dazai
where can i watch no longer human? idc if it’s anime or what but i wanna watch it!
you can watch it here on youtube! th-cam.com/video/iHqwmWelDBw/w-d-xo.html
@@vsaoi4234 thankss
I would like to know the rest 3 of the 4 best Japanese authors mentioned in the video, I tried to google it but found nothing
I am sure some of you may offend but, i gotta say I just finished a manga "Domestic Girlfriend " and after looking on internet more about it.... its the same story in manga.... MC is boy who married his school teacher just as Osamu Dazai.... Mc tried to committee double suicide with his girlfriend but stepped backward.. although things are not completely same but.. still.... Mc in manga had a wife which he abandoned with a kid just like Dazai...and after this Mc married the teacher. Just time Dazai... also Mc's Line's profile Dp was of Dazai....Mc was a writer too... he wrote about literature and fantasy too
I need to find Osamu Dazai poetry !!!
I have my volume all the way & still cant hear u.
Yeah, I know... I'm bad at this :(
@@vsaoi4234 Don’t worry it’s ok!
Yeah😅
Lmao I think most people aren’t paying respect they r just weebs
Yeah it's sad
@I have no mouth And i must scream tbh IMO the toxic people in the community r cringe and whoever is toxic outside the community is cringe
I know this is an old comment but like I agree, sometimes BSD community can took things "too far" When it comes to discovering the characters real life self. They literally joking about Dazai's suffering (The real life ver, not anime), like bro that's disrespectful af..
Clearly he was talented, but it seems to me too many other suffering artists identify with and romanticize that side of him. Odd that he always survived the double-suicides and the other person did not. I've never seen someone with such a bad suicide success rate. Modern psychologists could make a strong argument that he clearly didn't want to die.
He looks a bit like my uncle
One thing I don't understand about this guy is why he drags his wives into his suicide attempts
Maybe he didn’t want to die alone? 🤔
in japan, there was/is a really popular thing in past days called “shinju” meaning lovers suicide/double suicide which means if you die with your lover you will find them in next life too??? thats what i can remember rn, you can read more about “shinju”
so basically No Longer Allowed In Another World is Osamu Dazai in Isekai form?
In his book no longer human does it have anything to do with suicide?
(SPOILERS) Yes. he does speak of his first attempt in his book and at the end of the story they make it seem like he succeeded in his attempt. It's a very good book in my opinion. You should read it.
@@vsaoi4234 thanks dude :)
@@vsaoi4234 it's hard to find his book here in Philippines 😭
@@pochichiii4044 I'm sorry to hear that :(
I have a copy of his online pdf scan
Alter Ego anybody?
yes!
Oh ıts me
Oh my god oof
Yes dazai you
Man no offense, but looks like the bungou stray dogs charecter " Osamu Dazai " is really inspired from this guy
Yea, actually I’m pretty sure almost all of the main characters are based off of famous writers
@@mannymg8183 really? I didn't notice cuz I only have completed till ep 4
I am born in 12 June what a coincidence 😚😚
Man, i kinda relate
I hate this. They stole his name, his story. And now If you search Dazai, the only thing that pops up is anime character. That's so disgusting.
Tsuki ga kirei anyone ?
oh, so I'm not the only one haha. My favourite Anime🤗
I am here because of Bunguo Stray Dogs
thats great !
dazai san in anime...
Does "no longer human" have 2 authors or what?? Bcus it have junji ito n dazai osamu... Im sorry i dont really understand..
No, no longer human is originally a Japanese novel written by osamu dazai. Junji ito is a manga horror artist who adapted osamu dazai work and turn it into a manga form. But the story is pretty much the same.
Read Wikipedia.
BSD is the cause, you know what i mean.
Really? Must read him. Tragi-comic?
He was a failure.
No, he was a broken soul
@@Den-jp4yu thanks for that :)
If he were a failure, how come millions of Japanese are still reading his books?
@@sehyonjoh they're just trying to feel better about themselves since they're the real failure for criticizing someone who was hurt and managed to turn that pain into art
He is literally one of the most iconic writers in Japan, I mean No Longer Human ranks as the 2nd best-selling novel there. He wasn't a failure, he was a victim of this world.
I really want to read the "no longer human"
I'm curious about it, where can I read it or watch it?
There's an audiobook available here in TH-cam
Here is the audiobook YT link: th-cam.com/video/MOhGk1KqSLY/w-d-xo.html
i'm on 2hrs+ so far it seems like he has a mental illness since he was very young and is literally drowning in self-pity as he age... which is affecting me so i needed a pause and here i am now, which i shouldn't have done because i "low-key" spoiled my self with this 5 min clip.
amazon has both physical copies