GeorgeMonet Oh wow, a wig and some red clothes. And after if they kill the guard, they will probs have to pay of a new bounty of: 20silver, a mithril grappling hook, a wig, 2sets of clothes, and a guards chestplate
And then they get to keep the stuff on the 2nd guard too!!!! Plus you can turn the guard into a zombie. If the DM sends enough guard bounty hunters after you then you could raise your own undead army.
David Schiltz, Ah! So the Guard is unarmed! Good! That shall make it easier to make it seem like the guard was slain by a zombie that the adventurers happened to miss purely by chance.
2:40 "I am but a simple guard, but perhaps there is a grand design in place that you do not yet know of, and maybe fate is not as petty as you think he is." That's one philosophical highway guard.
Kill an Ancient Dragon? 500 gold. Tell a young bard to stop making advances on a single mother selling veggies? 750 gold. Sell a potion that gives the *drinker* a minor resistance to fire and also Paralyzes them? 1100 gold.
"We have finally reached the shopping... What's this?!?!!" Before them lies a large heap of rubble and scorched wood. A single villager is left gasping for breath. "Attack... Help us..." The brave adventurers pull them out of the rubble. "Who did this to you..." "Goblins. We fought bravely, but... We couldn't fend them off" "Wait... You didn't do this just to stop us shopping, did you?" The first adventurer presses. The villager dies dramatically. "So what now?" The second wonders out loud. "Hmm, it's a long way, but the next village has twice as many shops", argues the first. "Or you could buy whatever you need from me, a new merchant that you have never seen before" A new voice states.
Okay this reminds me of a story. My character was a Bard but he kept losing instruments over the course of the campaign. His original set of bagpipes was confiscated when he woke up in prison and the harmonica he constructed out of scrap metal was destroyed when said prison fell out of the sky. Our party eventually found itself in a mage utopia on top of a giant tree but I still didn't have an instrument. Thus I decided to visit one of the many shops in hopes of trading for a rare magical instrument of ANY kind. The shop keeper I would have found was unfortunately out. In his place was a hot babe in revealing clothes that promptly tried to seduce me. Eventually we worked out a deal where I could receive a magic flute that controlled wind in return for completing a job for her. The kicker here is that my character realized that she was actually a black dragoness and she didn't actually own anything she was going to offer me. Thus not only did I agree to assist an evil dragon woman with her plans but my compensation was stolen goods. In hindsight it wasn't very surprising that I ended the session in a coma lasting three years.
A Bard without an instrument is like a bird without wings. He can chirp all he wants but all that does is attract the predators on the ground. I was competing in a series on contests against the Pirate King after he had tracked me across two differnt worlds for blowing up his daughter with a cannonball (Long story, she deserved it, trust me). The first contest saw me miraculously beat him in an arm-wrestling match. However, in the middle of the second singing match one of my party members got mind controlled by another antagonist of ours and jumped onto the stage to gut me with a spear. I managed to restrain him only to get beaten to death by their dwarf NPC mentor. A blue dragon reset time but it went even worse the second time around as I passed out from blood loss just as the guards arrived. My unconscious and beaten body was fed a poison by the Pirate King and thus I entered a coma. Meanwhile, our brainwashed party member was thrown into prison for the same amount of time for public assault despite having no memory of the incident. Our last party member never showed up to the last session and so his character got off Karma Free for all his downright evil actions throughout the campaign.
I keep wondering if there is a parallel universe where wizards and elves gather to play games in which they take the role of "The Mighty IT Administrator" or "The Sneaky PR Manager" or even "The Wise Intern" (who is not as strong as the other classes, but neccassary for every party, because he alone provides the mythical substance called "Coffee").
And of course there's the class everyone dreads; the HR Manager, who has wonderful people skills but is just such a buzzkill stick-in-the-mud and won't let anyone else use their most fun class features because they're all "against company policy".
Of course you don't need to shop with 3 murder hobos. When they've made the shop keepers insides stay outside on the floor bleeding out everything in said shop keepers shop is now free. As for everything else how's your preform skill? Claim you're a victim of their abuse if every caught and pray they're executed so they don't murder hobo you again Edit spelling
Nah, the ones who need to worry in my games are the murder hobos. Remember, a party of, say, four 6th level MHs is effectively a monster rampaging around and will get the same sort of response as a family of wyverns that has been raiding farms and towns. Plus, the MHs aren't getting things like the sort of magical gear they want. As a rule of thumb, you aren't going to be able to walk into a town or city and just buy anything beyond a +2 sword/shield/breastplate/etc., better gear is going to involve hiring someone to find/import/make it, (not an extra cost, beyond having to wait a bit).
I try to discourage being murder hobos unless we have decided to run a group of murder hobos before hand I find that throwing things that may come extremely close to killing them tends to remind them that they need somewhere to BUY goods, somewhere that they can return to for a stockpile if they die (used only in a situation where the clone spell is involved), and somewhere that they can spend a majority of their downtime
In a Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay campaign I ran, the players went to a town to sell a magic sword they didn't want, and went to the lord's manor to show it to his wizard so it could be confirmed as magical so he'd buy it. Two days later, the lord had been murdered by the wizard who ran away with the sword and then the entire town was destroyed by giant spiders.
I didn't sell it, they did. Besides, they got unlucky on the loot roll on the table I'd done, and got a homebrew magic sword designed for wizards, and none of the players had wanted to play wizards. The funniest bits of the campaigns were probably most of the times they burned a fate point - the first time was when one of them tried to lasso a flying wyvern and merely succeeded in drawing its attention, the second time was when a dragon threw another dragon at one of them, and he was out of fate points but fortunately the dragon hit a different player on the way and he had fate points to burn saving them both, and the third time was when one of them tried to parry a Bloodthirster (which doesn't work anyway but I let him try in case he crit-passed) and he crit-failed.
If you don't want to do voices and RP a merchant. Just have them roll a Persusasion test for their haggling, ask them what they want, then say how much it ends up costing them after a day of shopping. It's better to do actual RP, especially if the players want to, but sometimes a GM can't come up with anything on the spot. I've used the same magic-shop owner in 3 different towns. he does not like the party and they don't like him, but they keep looking for stuff and finding his shop.
Fate has decreed that the magic-shop's random town teleportation happen to coincide with the parties need for magical items. Perhaps the shop owner has some business that requires attending to that only adventurers can deal with, but is reluctant to trust these strangers? Or maybe it's all a ruse to eventually get the party to trust their magic items, so that it would be all too easy to give them a highly cursed item? Only time will tell.
And as someone who just spent a weekend larping, the best way out of this is to accuse said guard of necromancy and to start an inquisition. You don't have to leave any survivors, just look how few necromancers there are now!
This reminds me of a quote from a LARP event I attended. "They seem unusually cheery for Highguard." "They're murdering a heretic from the Iron Confenderacy." "Oh... good."
Day 1 prep. NPCs, NPCs, NPCs. DMs should always have a handful of NPCs to throw at the adventurers any time they want a social session instead of a dungeon dive
honestly I use the do you want to buy a knife guy from the hobo videos drives them nuts cause he always want to trade for random things they don't have as well as fresh milk
Noximus Jamaicanus I always end up throwing money at them as mob drops anyway sooo, “Oh you tripped on a log and fell on pile of gold ohh nooooo terrible isn’t it...” lol
This reminds me of a scam I thought up:Take a regular quill and without dipping it in ink, act like you are writing a message. Then you cast prestidigitation to make the message appear. You could use this to trick people into thinking the quill is enchanted to write without ink, and make some gold selling them. Get out of the area quickly though, making such an ilusion with prestidigitation only lasts one hour.
@@weckar "With this spell you can: create a harmless sensory effect; light or snuff a small fire or candle; clean or soil a small object; chill, warm or flavor nonliving material; make a color or mark appear on a surface for 1 hour; create a trinket in your hand until your next turn. you can have up to 3 non-instantaneous effects active at once." Writing something is just making a mark on a surface. It's a loose interpretation of the spell, but I think it works for writing a word or two
But merchants are fun. Think of the one from KODT that always invites the party in to drink tea and talk about their latest adventure so he can calculate how much they made and adjust his prices.
"you couldn't have paused for 2 more seconds to come up with a real name?" That is eerily close to what my players keep telling me. I'm terrible at quickly improvising names.
I personally like using the various ancient/medieval names sections (especially Scandinavian, though that's just me) on behindthename.com. Of course I'm not a DM so I've only chosen names for my characters, but it's still choosing names.
This mythril grappling hook, could it be used to (only hypothetically, of course) pierce the hull of a Collective space craft allowing it to be boarded by highly skilled paladins weilding advanced weapons?
@Door Monster you say that as a joke, but i have a friend who insists on everything being a special material because it is therefore "special". Including making his 10ft pole out of Darkwood.
"Welcome to the Old Xoblob shop!" "Are you Xoblob?" "I'm New Xoblob. The beholder in the window is Old Xoblob. I used to call the shop "My Name's Shop", but people kept calling it Old Xoblob's, so I changed my name". "Wait, your name used to be "My Name""? "I didn't have any random name tables on hand"
It's a good video. But I was expecting the extortionate hobo to show up at the end of the video being like "Wanna buy a knife?" Because let's be honest, he would make a half decent rouge.
Casual shopping day can be adventure in itself. For example, getting this mythril grappling hook can require to earn the trust of dwarven clan. Or make players discover, there is trade war brewing between mercantile cities. Sky is the limit.
There is an in-between here: skip random encounters on the way to town, just say "what do you want", then say "you find/do not find a shop that carries that item", then make some sort of charisma or haggling check to see if bartering is successful, then the player makes the notes on their sheet etc, and you're done.
Merchant: "That mithril grappling hook is priced at a 1000 gold." Also Merchant: "I also have a starving family" 1000 gold is analogous to $100,000+ in real world money, why are your family starving?
Dichu I swear when I put lipstick on him I was instantly reminded of Avery (sister married to Jon) and screamed. Not cause I don’t like her, but cause I didn’t expect to see her face on my boyfriend’s face.
As a DM who takes so much time on NPCs, that physically hurt a bit. I have played in groups with a DM like that though. Had a ship captain who refused to help us fight off a kraken and then charged us for the damage to his boat. I wanted to try and intimidate him out of it and the DM said "he has a crew, not intimidated" and I just sat there thinking the party just killed a kraken in front of him, and my character specifically fried part of it with lightning, if we could sail this boat that crew would be swimming home.
Well, I made sure to pay the captain to teach me seamanship the first time I went to sea. Later that session, I was the proud-ish new owner of a three mast brigantine of high elven manufacture with blood all over the deck. I am a wanted man in High Elf Country. (note: the murder hobos did it, not me)
Yeah, main character, not hero. I prefer having some NPCs be unreasonable and such, and run some that way myself. Even if you are powerful, that doesnt mean people like you, and just want to faun all over you. For all you know he got ripped off by the last band of adventurers and resents them as a whole.
This is where murder hobos come from... If a party of murderous superheroes went on my boat and killed a kraken and then didnt want to pay, well good for me as if they wanted theh could probs just kill the whole cre and claim the boat as their own
Ah, that sword is the finest in the land and it can be your's for the very reasonable price of 4 mythril grappling hooks, two exalted orbs and a rubber chicken.
Honestly, as a DM you provide a service. If your players are into shopping, haggling, etc, you do that. If they're eternal dungeoncrawlers, you do that. Or you get yourself a better group.
Those merchant's actually work for the assassins guild in the next town over from the next town over and are definitely not just randomly phasing into existence to sell you the very specific item that you just thought about getting a minute ago.
Me-“I’d like a door monster video thats relatable and possibly includes a drag Ian.” Hobo from door monster- “seems unlikely” *appears a traveling merchant with a gallium knife, milk and a youtube video with requested content* Me- “I can die happy now” PS: where’s a drag Kyle?
I love shopping. It's great. Shopping is my favorite part of DnD. My most recent shopping trip involved us harrassing a gnomish alchemist, because being the penny-pinchers that we are, immediately on finding the costs to investigate a potion, we tried convincing, strongarming, and outright threatening said merchant. The last of which almost resulted in him calling the guards, but, fortunately, that didn't happen. Turns out one of the potions he really wanted to buy from us, as it happened to be a fairly rare one, and so we negotiated for a large sum of gold, and an apology from him to the guy who threatened him. Saying he'd call the guards in response was very rude, after all. It's only fair. You hurt our poor friend's feelings.
Here are some games I think you should do some video about: 1. The sims: getting stuck on furniture 2. Roller coaster tycoon: people who break benches and vomit on the ground 3. Weird Worlds: sudden supernovas
Me and my team went shopping and bought 50 turtles and 100 bagpipes We also bought an elephant, a camel, a donkey, a draft horse, a pony, and a dragon turtle We make good decisions
You can do that with others if it's a homebrew...just make sure that homebrews don't end up being in a clusterfuck that ends up with the players killing every person and thing they see, no-one likes murder hobos
one of my GMs got around this by having the primary merchant that sells the vast majority of expensive gear for adventurers was just one guy who's shop is in every town, and the door is just a portal to his actual shop, that nobody is sure where it actually is.
See, I always just go "These people are not going to be roleplayed because it takes too much time, they are only found in town, and they do this for a living. Most you can haggle them down is 10%, 5% on expensive stuff with an opposed Diplomacy check, fail by 5 or more and they've managed to counter-offer you higher than the original." Quick, easy rules that mean you can get meaningful discounts, with consequences for failing. I can post the full haggling rules if anyone wants them.
Allison Edge Meter: It really seemed like Rachel was going to win this one with the "seduce option" but then Allison engaged in random murder. Edge Level: 7
What I love with my Sandbox style of being a DM. Example: The girl who wants Mithril Grappling hook: -Oh we encountered a travelling merchant to bad there is not another one around here. Me: yeah, so either goes catch up to him since if he is a travelling merchant it's not like he has one single item. That would be a rare item so I don't think he is likely to have one so it would seem you have to get to the closest tavern. Insert random encounter for a group of bandits that have heard there is a travelling merchant to rob but find a group of adventurer to steal from instead.
Whenever my players want to buy something, I always tell them to know exactly what they want beforehand and notify me of their wishes, which usually makes shopping a come and go situation
Woo, look at that, Ian channeling his inner Mrs. Doubtfire and a bit of ES Oblivion city guard. And listen to Rachel there. "Casual" shopping day. I would totally kill the merchant for a mithril grappling hook.
That´s an oddly specific bounty...
But they'd still have all the other stuff that the merchant had on her corpse. So a net positive gain. Especially if they kill the guard too.
GeorgeMonet
Oh wow, a wig and some red clothes.
And after if they kill the guard, they will probs have to pay of a new bounty of: 20silver, a mithril grappling hook, a wig, 2sets of clothes, and a guards chestplate
And then they get to keep the stuff on the 2nd guard too!!!! Plus you can turn the guard into a zombie. If the DM sends enough guard bounty hunters after you then you could raise your own undead army.
David Schiltz, Ah! So the Guard is unarmed! Good! That shall make it easier to make it seem like the guard was slain by a zombie that the adventurers happened to miss purely by chance.
Player Characters that loot like they were playing Fallout deserve the wrath of god (DM). Every time.
2:40
"I am but a simple guard, but perhaps there is a grand design in place that you do not yet know of, and maybe fate is not as petty as you think he is."
That's one philosophical highway guard.
LOL
More like 4th wall breaking guard
Guard? Or God? :D
"Twenty silver and one mythril grappling hook"
More like highway man
Lords steward- I’ll give you 100 hundred gold for killing that dragon”
Random merchant- “that rusty piece of common armor seems worth 210 gold”
Perhaps the common armor has 200 worth of gold coins in its pockets or somethin
or maybe rusty common armor is just really in fashion this monster hunting season?
Kill an Ancient Dragon? 500 gold.
Tell a young bard to stop making advances on a single mother selling veggies? 750 gold.
Sell a potion that gives the *drinker* a minor resistance to fire and also Paralyzes them? 1100 gold.
The paralyze/fire resist potion could be extremely useful as an anesthetic or for some other medical use...
TheZombielayer
I am actually impressed. But still not worth more than two whole dragons
"We have finally reached the shopping... What's this?!?!!"
Before them lies a large heap of rubble and scorched wood. A single villager is left gasping for breath. "Attack... Help us..."
The brave adventurers pull them out of the rubble. "Who did this to you..."
"Goblins. We fought bravely, but... We couldn't fend them off"
"Wait... You didn't do this just to stop us shopping, did you?" The first adventurer presses.
The villager dies dramatically.
"So what now?" The second wonders out loud.
"Hmm, it's a long way, but the next village has twice as many shops", argues the first.
"Or you could buy whatever you need from me, a new merchant that you have never seen before" A new voice states.
The merchant happens to be a goblin.
Completely unrelated, of course.
That's what they call "hostile takeover"
Okay this reminds me of a story. My character was a Bard but he kept losing instruments over the course of the campaign. His original set of bagpipes was confiscated when he woke up in prison and the harmonica he constructed out of scrap metal was destroyed when said prison fell out of the sky. Our party eventually found itself in a mage utopia on top of a giant tree but I still didn't have an instrument. Thus I decided to visit one of the many shops in hopes of trading for a rare magical instrument of ANY kind. The shop keeper I would have found was unfortunately out. In his place was a hot babe in revealing clothes that promptly tried to seduce me. Eventually we worked out a deal where I could receive a magic flute that controlled wind in return for completing a job for her. The kicker here is that my character realized that she was actually a black dragoness and she didn't actually own anything she was going to offer me. Thus not only did I agree to assist an evil dragon woman with her plans but my compensation was stolen goods. In hindsight it wasn't very surprising that I ended the session in a coma lasting three years.
Your Bard could have just tried singing. But then a stray arrow would have destroyed your vocal cords.
A Bard without an instrument is like a bird without wings. He can chirp all he wants but all that does is attract the predators on the ground. I was competing in a series on contests against the Pirate King after he had tracked me across two differnt worlds for blowing up his daughter with a cannonball (Long story, she deserved it, trust me). The first contest saw me miraculously beat him in an arm-wrestling match. However, in the middle of the second singing match one of my party members got mind controlled by another antagonist of ours and jumped onto the stage to gut me with a spear. I managed to restrain him only to get beaten to death by their dwarf NPC mentor. A blue dragon reset time but it went even worse the second time around as I passed out from blood loss just as the guards arrived. My unconscious and beaten body was fed a poison by the Pirate King and thus I entered a coma. Meanwhile, our brainwashed party member was thrown into prison for the same amount of time for public assault despite having no memory of the incident. Our last party member never showed up to the last session and so his character got off Karma Free for all his downright evil actions throughout the campaign.
Whenever we go to spend our gold, the DM says "alright, time to play Accountants & Actuaries"
That's a good line. I'll have to use that in my sessions.
I keep wondering if there is a parallel universe where wizards and elves gather to play games in which they take the role of "The Mighty IT Administrator" or "The Sneaky PR Manager" or even "The Wise Intern" (who is not as strong as the other classes, but neccassary for every party, because he alone provides the mythical substance called "Coffee").
you forgot about the ever enduring janitor
Daniel Turner janitors are OP as fuck, they usually one-shot enemy parties with their hidden powers they keep for such occasions
And of course there's the class everyone dreads; the HR Manager, who has wonderful people skills but is just such a buzzkill stick-in-the-mud and won't let anyone else use their most fun class features because they're all "against company policy".
The traveling merchant is like the hobo extortionist of the D&D universe.
I'll Trade you this Grappling Hook for the Evidence
Ha. That was the one made of Mithril.
HEYWANNABUYAKNIFE
Joseph Holdom
Except he/she has no knife, beard, nor coke.
Marco Cappelli idk they might have the coke. I think powered coca-cola counts as a “unique item.”
DM should totally do a hobo extortionist sketch in D&D.
You don't have to worry about shopping trips when you have three murder hobos in your party. You just have to worry about everything else.
Of course you don't need to shop with 3 murder hobos. When they've made the shop keepers insides stay outside on the floor bleeding out everything in said shop keepers shop is now free. As for everything else how's your preform skill? Claim you're a victim of their abuse if every caught and pray they're executed so they don't murder hobo you again
Edit spelling
This solution to the murderhobo problem is genius...
Murder-hobo. Every time.
Nah, the ones who need to worry in my games are the murder hobos. Remember, a party of, say, four 6th level MHs is effectively a monster rampaging around and will get the same sort of response as a family of wyverns that has been raiding farms and towns.
Plus, the MHs aren't getting things like the sort of magical gear they want. As a rule of thumb, you aren't going to be able to walk into a town or city and just buy anything beyond a +2 sword/shield/breastplate/etc., better gear is going to involve hiring someone to find/import/make it, (not an extra cost, beyond having to wait a bit).
I try to discourage being murder hobos unless we have decided to run a group of murder hobos before hand
I find that throwing things that may come extremely close to killing them tends to remind them that they need somewhere to BUY goods, somewhere that they can return to for a stockpile if they die (used only in a situation where the clone spell is involved), and somewhere that they can spend a majority of their downtime
In a Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay campaign I ran, the players went to a town to sell a magic sword they didn't want, and went to the lord's manor to show it to his wizard so it could be confirmed as magical so he'd buy it.
Two days later, the lord had been murdered by the wizard who ran away with the sword and then the entire town was destroyed by giant spiders.
Grumpy Squat we’ve all been there
John Brennan it was all just as planned
I didn't sell it, they did. Besides, they got unlucky on the loot roll on the table I'd done, and got a homebrew magic sword designed for wizards, and none of the players had wanted to play wizards.
The funniest bits of the campaigns were probably most of the times they burned a fate point - the first time was when one of them tried to lasso a flying wyvern and merely succeeded in drawing its attention, the second time was when a dragon threw another dragon at one of them, and he was out of fate points but fortunately the dragon hit a different player on the way and he had fate points to burn saving them both, and the third time was when one of them tried to parry a Bloodthirster (which doesn't work anyway but I let him try in case he crit-passed) and he crit-failed.
To be fair, they at least made an attempt to go to a Lord and his wizard, rather than just trying to pawn it off in the open market.
yep, thats sound like warhammer fantasy....
"What happened to all your gold?"
"You turned it into a bow"
Well, I can now say I've seen Ian in drag. I expect a few unexpected things when I wake up every morning, but that wasn't one of them.
Did it make your day infinitely better?
yes
I, myself, come to expect it all the time.
so do i
Every comedian has to appear in drag at some point.
2:25 STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU VIOLATED THE LORE! PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVER YOUR SENTENCE
Gregory Whatley "you violated the lore" is brilliant. Was that intentional?
Was hoping someone would catch it haha Wasn't sure if the joke looked too much like a spelling mistake or not
My party members generally refuse. DM "THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!"
You stolen goods are now FORFEIT!
If you don't want to do voices and RP a merchant. Just have them roll a Persusasion test for their haggling, ask them what they want, then say how much it ends up costing them after a day of shopping. It's better to do actual RP, especially if the players want to, but sometimes a GM can't come up with anything on the spot. I've used the same magic-shop owner in 3 different towns. he does not like the party and they don't like him, but they keep looking for stuff and finding his shop.
Fate has decreed that the magic-shop's random town teleportation happen to coincide with the parties need for magical items. Perhaps the shop owner has some business that requires attending to that only adventurers can deal with, but is reluctant to trust these strangers? Or maybe it's all a ruse to eventually get the party to trust their magic items, so that it would be all too easy to give them a highly cursed item? Only time will tell.
WolfBV Canter thank you I'm stealing that! It's like the ultimate franchise.
Or better yet not have them roll and say that what they haggled the price to.
im sorry but haggling over the price of stuff is not role playing. or at least not good role play
Ethan Bloomfield why is it bad role playing? Being cheap, thrifty or silver-tongued are all legitimate character traits.
THE OTTOMAN BOW, LET'S GET IT
Sweden found it.
@@shannoncollins7480 Ottomans made it.
@@yusuf_kizilkaya Finders keepers
And as someone who just spent a weekend larping, the best way out of this is to accuse said guard of necromancy and to start an inquisition. You don't have to leave any survivors, just look how few necromancers there are now!
Nobody expects the inquisition!
Especially of the Spanish variety
Manek Iridius, there's nothing to say that you're not from the next continent over, where necromancy is HIGHLY illegal...
This reminds me of a quote from a LARP event I attended.
"They seem unusually cheery for Highguard."
"They're murdering a heretic from the Iron Confenderacy."
"Oh... good."
When your DM really wants to avoid a shopping session.
Day 1 prep.
NPCs, NPCs, NPCs. DMs should always have a handful of NPCs to throw at the adventurers any time they want a social session instead of a dungeon dive
honestly I use the do you want to buy a knife guy from the hobo videos drives them nuts cause he always want to trade for random things they don't have as well as fresh milk
ForgeDrake That is an amazing idea
Noximus Jamaicanus I always end up throwing money at them as mob drops anyway sooo, “Oh you tripped on a log and fell on pile of gold ohh nooooo terrible isn’t it...” lol
Conspiracy theories with tea I like how you are asking as if I liked my own comment.
This reminds me of a scam I thought up:Take a regular quill and without dipping it in ink, act like you are writing a message. Then you cast prestidigitation to make the message appear. You could use this to trick people into thinking the quill is enchanted to write without ink, and make some gold selling them. Get out of the area quickly though, making such an ilusion with prestidigitation only lasts one hour.
In what version can prestidigitation actually do that?
@@weckar
"With this spell you can: create a harmless sensory effect; light or snuff a small fire or candle; clean or soil a small object; chill, warm or flavor nonliving material; make a color or mark appear on a surface for 1 hour; create a trinket in your hand until your next turn.
you can have up to 3 non-instantaneous effects active at once."
Writing something is just making a mark on a surface. It's a loose interpretation of the spell, but I think it works for writing a word or two
@@JadeyCatgirl99 As I asked: what version is that? 5e? 4e? 2e? 3.5? Because you sure couldn't do that in some of those editions with that spell.
@@weckar fifth edition. I quoted the direct text of the spell
@@JadeyCatgirl99 Thanks. I've barely played fifth, so that's frankly surprising to me :)
I actually love both the player and DM side of the shopping episodes
But merchants are fun. Think of the one from KODT that always invites the party in to drink tea and talk about their latest adventure so he can calculate how much they made and adjust his prices.
ratholin hahahaha ah, gotta remember that one
I always love the D&D videos.
Same; they're what brought me to Door Monster in the first place, after all!
That's what happens when you roll a nat 1 on seduction
No no, it's called an "aggressive seduction roll" :P
She did ask if she could assist
I stopped making tea to watch this...
...I'm English, this isn't normal
Use a teasmade, I say.
Literally eating crumpets with a cup of tea while watching this.
J R Dixon jolly good
I usually make tea specially for watching Door Monster videos
Alex Healy I'm American I got a soda and a burger in my hand right now (I'm at a BBQ right now)
"you couldn't have paused for 2 more seconds to come up with a real name?"
That is eerily close to what my players keep telling me. I'm terrible at quickly improvising names.
I personally like using the various ancient/medieval names sections (especially Scandinavian, though that's just me) on behindthename.com. Of course I'm not a DM so I've only chosen names for my characters, but it's still choosing names.
There is nothing wrong with the name bob bobberson!
This mythril grappling hook, could it be used to (only hypothetically, of course) pierce the hull of a Collective space craft allowing it to be boarded by highly skilled paladins weilding advanced weapons?
High Priest of Those Who Remain What if the hull is made out of adamantium tho
Probably not, but get this... it's slightly lighter than a regular grappling hook! Totally worth the extra thousand gold, right?
@Door Monster you say that as a joke, but i have a friend who insists on everything being a special material because it is therefore "special". Including making his 10ft pole out of Darkwood.
Too bad you can't @ people in TH-cam comments :D
@@Syrange13 TH-cam heard you.
"Welcome to the Old Xoblob shop!"
"Are you Xoblob?"
"I'm New Xoblob. The beholder in the window is Old Xoblob. I used to call the shop "My Name's Shop", but people kept calling it Old Xoblob's, so I changed my name".
"Wait, your name used to be "My Name""?
"I didn't have any random name tables on hand"
Lipstick-wearing, vaguely Umbridge-like Ian is now my favorite Ian.
It's a good video. But I was expecting the extortionate hobo to show up at the end of the video being like "Wanna buy a knife?" Because let's be honest, he would make a half decent rouge.
rogue*
This is the most relatable DM-based D&D video I've seen in a while... Bravo!
Casual shopping day can be adventure in itself. For example, getting this mythril grappling hook can require to earn the trust of dwarven clan. Or make players discover, there is trade war brewing between mercantile cities. Sky is the limit.
Congrats on hitting the Kickstarter goal!
Vador they did? Thank god I was so worried there for a minute
I like the roles the DM gets in your player-vs-DM videos. It's a nice touch.
There is an in-between here: skip random encounters on the way to town, just say "what do you want", then say "you find/do not find a shop that carries that item", then make some sort of charisma or haggling check to see if bartering is successful, then the player makes the notes on their sheet etc, and you're done.
Can I just say how much I enjoyed the breaking the immersion? Also Ian is the exact same as my DM.
Merchant: "That mithril grappling hook is priced at a 1000 gold."
Also Merchant: "I also have a starving family"
1000 gold is analogous to $100,000+ in real world money, why are your family starving?
No one’s bought it yet, that’s why they still have it
Overhead costs are a pain
We did it guys! We funded Skyvault!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHS
Hooray!
Could someone fill me in as to what sky vault is?
Wow, you guys didn't mention Ian had a sister! And that she was HOT!
Roll for seduction.
I rolled a nat 1 with -3 to charm rolls. . . .
It's almost like the exact reverse of that time when Allison played the second hobo... ;) haha
He actually does have a sister. She's married to Jon.
Dichu I swear when I put lipstick on him I was instantly reminded of Avery (sister married to Jon) and screamed. Not cause I don’t like her, but cause I didn’t expect to see her face on my boyfriend’s face.
Ian just went full Monty Python.
I love how everyone has consistent characters in your videos, like the DM always spoiling their adventurers
Was anyone else immediately reminded of self fulfilling idiocy 5 with the line “stop right there!”?
Hate it when you run out of mithril grappling hooks and you can't pay your bounty...
Ahhh it's always nice to see Rachel in a skit. You're the best Door Monster :)
Congrats on meeting your goal you guys! Wonderful video as always! I'm excited to see what amazing content you produce next ❤😊
"Twenty silver and one Mythril grappling hook." Yeah. Sure. Okay. Mhmm...
I died in laughter. I can't stop
Someone needs to make an edit of Alison at 1:40
"Uhh, what happened to all your gold?"
"You turned it INTO A BOW!"
Ian's line delivery is the best.
What a specific fine.
As a DM who takes so much time on NPCs, that physically hurt a bit. I have played in groups with a DM like that though. Had a ship captain who refused to help us fight off a kraken and then charged us for the damage to his boat. I wanted to try and intimidate him out of it and the DM said "he has a crew, not intimidated" and I just sat there thinking the party just killed a kraken in front of him, and my character specifically fried part of it with lightning, if we could sail this boat that crew would be swimming home.
Paladin585 well, if the captain is unreasonable, maybe the crew would be more reasonable... especially if their captain is a pile of ash
Well, I made sure to pay the captain to teach me seamanship the first time I went to sea. Later that session, I was the proud-ish new owner of a three mast brigantine of high elven manufacture with blood all over the deck. I am a wanted man in High Elf Country. (note: the murder hobos did it, not me)
Yeah, main character, not hero. I prefer having some NPCs be unreasonable and such, and run some that way myself. Even if you are powerful, that doesnt mean people like you, and just want to faun all over you. For all you know he got ripped off by the last band of adventurers and resents them as a whole.
This is where murder hobos come from... If a party of murderous superheroes went on my boat and killed a kraken and then didnt want to pay, well good for me as if they wanted theh could probs just kill the whole cre and claim the boat as their own
I just noticed I will set down and just binging Door Monster Videos. This is already my second time watching this one.
Ah, that sword is the finest in the land and it can be your's for the very reasonable price of 4 mythril grappling hooks, two exalted orbs and a rubber chicken.
Yes! A new D&D video!
I really liked this episode, great work
I was literally thinking 'Where's my Monday Scetch' 30 seconds before seeing this
I just realized you got Ian to wear makeup. That's commitment to your craft right there
The price of the fine was the icing on the cake! Brilliant!
Perfect.. pay the 20 silver, AND the ladies still have BOTH the enchanted bow AND the 2000 gold that the merchant has on his body.
"Maybe fate isn't as petty as you think he is"
Honestly, as a DM you provide a service. If your players are into shopping, haggling, etc, you do that. If they're eternal dungeoncrawlers, you do that. Or you get yourself a better group.
Well said.
This hit home so hard.
Damn you guys really know how to translate DnD interactions to film!
i love how he mentions a mythril grappling hook as if it's just another coin type
Wow. Didn't expect him to actually be able to pull of that costume
Hey! Congratulations on 200k subscribers! That was a fast upgrade from 100k only a little while ago. :)
Ya'll are underrated, how do you not have more subscribers
Those merchant's actually work for the assassins guild in the next town over from the next town over and are definitely not just randomly phasing into existence to sell you the very specific item that you just thought about getting a minute ago.
Excellent as always.
Ahhh...how I wish my friends now played DnD like my old friends. I miss those days.
Me-“I’d like a door monster video thats relatable and possibly includes a drag Ian.”
Hobo from door monster- “seems unlikely”
*appears a traveling merchant with a gallium knife, milk and a youtube video with requested content*
Me- “I can die happy now”
PS: where’s a drag Kyle?
Congratulations on getting the funding for Skyvault! I can't wait to see what's in store for the future!
love D&D videos
I'm looking forward to watch this video's Behind The Scenes.
This just confirmed for me that Allison was DM during the D&D Forgotten But Not Gone
I love shopping. It's great. Shopping is my favorite part of DnD.
My most recent shopping trip involved us harrassing a gnomish alchemist, because being the penny-pinchers that we are, immediately on finding the costs to investigate a potion, we tried convincing, strongarming, and outright threatening said merchant. The last of which almost resulted in him calling the guards, but, fortunately, that didn't happen.
Turns out one of the potions he really wanted to buy from us, as it happened to be a fairly rare one, and so we negotiated for a large sum of gold, and an apology from him to the guy who threatened him.
Saying he'd call the guards in response was very rude, after all. It's only fair. You hurt our poor friend's feelings.
Here are some games I think you should do some video about:
1. The sims: getting stuck on furniture
2. Roller coaster tycoon: people who break benches and vomit on the ground
3. Weird Worlds: sudden supernovas
How dare this guard kill the merchant and then blame the king's viceroys?
It's why I love the idea of Zin Bu the Magical Abacus. XD Porta trader. XD
Me and my team went shopping and bought 50 turtles and 100 bagpipes
We also bought an elephant, a camel, a donkey, a draft horse, a pony, and a dragon turtle
We make good decisions
When I DM I much prefer shopping and town adventures to random nature encounters
Adventurer: Bro how do you keep finding me?
Traveling merchants, etc. : oh, the courier from Skyrim let's us know.
D&D seems pretty fun!
My friends made a knock-off, but they only wanted to race and breed chocobos, so the combat aspect was... lacking
You can do that with others if it's a homebrew...just make sure that homebrews don't end up being in a clusterfuck that ends up with the players killing every person and thing they see, no-one likes murder hobos
Somewhere a mithril grappling hook maker is having a really great day.
one of my GMs got around this by having the primary merchant that sells the vast majority of expensive gear for adventurers was just one guy who's shop is in every town, and the door is just a portal to his actual shop, that nobody is sure where it actually is.
Not gunna lie, that seduction roll would have worked on me.
Same tbh
Kickstarter succeeds, immediately releases video of spending extravagant sums of loot on specialty items. Yep, seems about right!
I very like Ian acting,it so funny!😂😂
See, I always just go "These people are not going to be roleplayed because it takes too much time, they are only found in town, and they do this for a living. Most you can haggle them down is 10%, 5% on expensive stuff with an opposed Diplomacy check, fail by 5 or more and they've managed to counter-offer you higher than the original."
Quick, easy rules that mean you can get meaningful discounts, with consequences for failing.
I can post the full haggling rules if anyone wants them.
Allison Edge Meter: It really seemed like Rachel was going to win this one with the "seduce option" but then Allison engaged in random murder.
Edge Level: 7
Still the best comedy on youtube
What I love with my Sandbox style of being a DM. Example:
The girl who wants Mithril Grappling hook: -Oh we encountered a travelling merchant to bad there is not another one around here.
Me: yeah, so either goes catch up to him since if he is a travelling merchant it's not like he has one single item. That would be a rare item so I don't think he is likely to have one so it would seem you have to get to the closest tavern.
Insert random encounter for a group of bandits that have heard there is a travelling merchant to rob but find a group of adventurer to steal from instead.
I love their videos mostly because its all geeky stuff that I play
That guard popped straight out of Oblivion
Dunno where else to put this, so congratulations on funding Skyvault - super stoked for you guys :)
I dread to think how many takes it took Ian for this entire thing
Whenever my players want to buy something, I always tell them to know exactly what they want beforehand and notify me of their wishes, which usually makes shopping a come and go situation
Finally! More door monster.
Edit: that is the only way to deal with traveling merchants
That bow is the property of the ottoman empire
Also congrats on Skyvault 😃
Woo, look at that, Ian channeling his inner Mrs. Doubtfire and a bit of ES Oblivion city guard. And listen to Rachel there. "Casual" shopping day. I would totally kill the merchant for a mithril grappling hook.
This made me subscribe.
"If you acquired a taste for Kickstarter in the last month." I think I have OD'd enough for a while!
2:12 I snort laughed 😂
“What happened to all your gold?”
“You turned it into a bow”