How Do My Wife And I Split The Mortgage Payment?
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My wife and i did the whole separate accounts things our first few months of marriage, and then found it completely silly when we were transferring money back and forth for things. We are 100% shared account now. So much simpler and our financial trust level couldn't be better.
Glad it works for you. I personally don't want to have to answer for how I'm spending my "play" money.
@@TheAgentmigs That's the great thing about just staying single...besides the crying myself to sleep part.
@@TheAgentmigs If you want to do your own thing, then just don't get married.
@@TheAgentmigs You don't have to have separate finances to have that privilege. That's just an excuse.
Truth
Divorced guys at work would complain about how much of their check went to child support. I always joked that I'm married with three kids, 100% of my paycheck goes to child support. 😄
lol
Not the same
@@princekiki33 woosh
You should buy a t-shirt that says “My kids think I’m an ATM”.
@D C you have a kid, it's your responsibility to look after. Not the taxpayers
We joined our finances the first month of marriage. It's been the best thing for our budgeting! Combining everything made it so easy and has kept us both on the same page. Get over your ego and work together!
exactly that really shows you have a lover, not a roommate that you don't trust.
It's not about your ego Cook...It's about protecting your arse...
How does it protect you? They still get half regardless if you share your checking account or not LOL @@666dr
When my husband and I first got married, I was making more money than he was. I made a job change, and he ended up making more money than I was. I am now a stay at home mom, bringing in no income, and the only income is my husbands. Through it all any money that we brought in was our money and it didn't matter who earned what. I think Dave is right and this is the better way to go.
The problem is those who concern about who make more and therefore want more benefit from a marriage to make things fair. This is a sign of bad marriage or marriage with little love. One can make more money for now does not necessarily make more later. If that person face some kind of unexpected event like unemployment or sickness, income will be close to none. This show someone selfishness.
I experienced this. I held back my career because as a woman I don’t want to put down man ego and at some point to have to slow down when I have kids. My ex bring this “I make more money than you” into finance fairness marriage discussions. I then knew how much he loved me. Along with other selfishness issue, I left. I let my career grow and I make twice as much as my ex after that. I am a working mom now and I still make much more than he is. People these days are too much into money. Find a capable partner, then u don’t have to worry about him/her being future loser.
Unfortunately, most women do not want to sign up for what you just explained depending on the timeline of events. Women want a guy who is already established typically. How long did your husband take to take on the financial burden of the family. Women will let a guy under 30 to not have it all figured out but after that they want a guy to be established.
@@journeytothevoid2899 probably about a year. I was working a job that involved travel, and didn't want to be away all the time on business after we were married so I transitioned to a different job that earned a little less. Around the same time he got a promotion that made it so he was earning about what I had made before. We basically swapped places in terms of income. 😊
@@journeytothevoid2899 seems kind of normal for peoples expectations of a spouse to be higher as they age. If a person isnt fiscally stable well into your 30s they probably have some bagage a good amount of people wont want to deal with.
@@joreyn7656 Sounds like you swindled him.
“Sharing our genetics” !!!! Well said Rachel! People understand that they share genetics when they get married and have children, but why don’t they understand that same concept about finances?!
My guess would be that putting money in the bank account don’t make ppl moan😂
Great explanation of the 'why' and advantages of combining finances into a joint account in marriage. Thank you.
Lol the look on daves face 😂 just pure confusion
This is why america is in trouble. When you are married you don't split anything. You pay your collective bills togethor. Period. This idea that we are married but we are paying our own bills and doing our own thing is why divorce rates are so high now. This guy is not ready to get married.
thank you!!
I agree.
Amen!
I pay for everything, and my wife's money is Her's
My leftovers are still more.
Close, the divorce rate is so high because women gain money and prizes from divorce. They have NO incentive to stay married, NONE.
This comment section is only providing half truths and not the whole story when it comes to marriage and combining finances.
I'll say that there are several unique circumstances for each marriage. Let's not act like the 50% rate of divorces did not have several marriages who actually shared accounts mutually in the history of US divorces and it didn't help the cause in the end.
Some ways work for others while some dont its as simple as that.
Now With that being said for me personally, initially, we did not combine all of our accounts due to debts we both had and felt that it would be easier to manage, however, we are working on combining all accounts because we realize that for our situation now it doesn't make much sense to have separate accounts.
People need to stop putting in the air that just because a married couple does not share some or all accounts that they shouldn't be married. I would question your actual values if you think that way.
You are right. One size does not fit all.
Used to be like that maybe 60 years ago!
Now days forget it!
Get a joint account for family expenses: example mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. Keep your own account for money to buy things you want. Clothes, activities, gifts for each other, etc. My dad and step mom do this and have been married for 27 years.
If you’re uncomfortable sharing money there’s a deeper problem with how someone is handling money.
There's nothing wrong with financial autonamy though.
I am lucky to earn enough that my wife can stay at home but we still have separate account. Her family is always asking for money, I can only support the two of us and she is usually to kind to say no to her relatives.
Amen
@@TheAgentmigs if you are single there isn't, if you are married there is.
@@TheAgentmigs Being married and financially autonomous are conflicting ideas. Just don't get married if you want separate finances.
Spouse and I have always had separate accounts, very unequal salaries, but we do not have the mentality of mine vs yours. The separate accounts work well for us...each of us manages a certain piece of the agreed budget and it really keeps things simple. Been working great for 18 years.
18 years of being losers
Same with my marriage. Never had a problem with money. It works great for us
We were adults when we got married. I had a house and since that was my house, my wife needed a different house. So, it was easy, if you want a different house, buy it, and pay the mortgage. So I paid the down payment(20%), she purchased the house(Pays the mortgage) and I paid the land and school taxes(NY). My house was sold and that profit went into the our brokerage account(for new house rebuild). Now 16 years later, we need to move closer to her job, so I got the mortgage for the new house, the current house will be sold, and that should pay off new mortgage, and I will still pay land and school tax. So our combined house will be debt free. She pays phone, garbage, I pay electricity, taxes etc. Since we both work, this works for us. When one of us is out of a job, the other pays everything, but we set up our house to run on one income so job loss is not a problem.
Vary Smart! 👍
Sounds incredibly and unnecessarily complicated
@@d_all_in That is what happens when a Pharma Research Scientist(with an MBA) and an engineer(with an MBA) get together. Yes she is the structural engineer. We are not the average couple.
@@gibblespascack1418 you're cringey af bro
@@d_all_in It works for us.
It is interesting to me how the mindset on marriage is separate money and questioning who pays what bills… We’ve been married 18years this year and when we decided to get married it became all ours together… We work together in order to make a good life for each other and now leaving a legacy for our son…
I used to agree on everything Davis saying right now, until I get divorced. I agree you should take care of your wife but you still have to have protection just in case.
You will avoid so many money problems and arguments by combining finances. Dave is spot on - it forces you to go at things together. I do not understand this new trend of married people having separate accounts.
Love when these guys call in trying to get their wife, who they supposedly love, to make sure they're getting 50% out of the expenses out of them.
Yes, we all know its a waste of time because women do not feel its their duty to support a family.
Disagree about the accounts. They don’t have to be a secret, they could have multiple checking or saving accounts under one main account for personal things they may want individually.
a combined joint account is a good idea under the assumption that both partners are financially educated and reliable. if one person's blows their entire paycheck on beauty supplies and self care products, then there's going to be friction from both of them.
I love Dave’s thinking and the financial plan for married couples he promotes. My ex husband never learned the “we” pronoun. He was always “I” or “me.” That is one reason he is the ex. My precious second and forever husband is totally in agreement with Dave’s teachings bc it is from the Bible. The Bible never changes. ☺️
It's still best to have your own personal account also.
The main reason having separate accounts works today is full time dual working spouses is the norm. I'm full time, my wife is part time (by her choice so she could have more time at home with the kids), so this arrangement would be unfair to her. But we've had fully combined finances since we first got married and really haven't had any issue. We only approach each other for large purchases (anything in the hundreds of dollars or more), otherwise we have our own "fun money" line items in our budget we can spend from freely. Just because you have a joint account doesn't mean you aren't allowed to spend money on yourself.
A separate account each has an allowance put in allows people to spend their own money freely.
If your married and splitting bills and have separate accounts your definitely roommates once you get married you’re one flesh and work together to build your life and goals together
We married for 43 years and combine our finances. My husband's friends are all having separate finances. We ended up having the most accumulated asset while they are all struggling financially and they are married more than once or twice.
My wife and I keep our finances separate to an extent. Paychecks get deposited into personal accounts, we have a joint checking for fixed expenses (mortgage, electric, gas, etc) and each paycheck we have an agreed upon amount that gets moved to the joint checking along with an agreed upon amount of money towards savings which goes to debt payoff or investments we both want. The remainder just stays in our personal accounts. I dont care what she buys and I dont really need to know from her own account and vice versa. Works well for us.
I just need a bigger, more modern kitchen to cook my Texas Chilli with NO beans NO tomatoes 🍲 Cheers from Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia 👍
Every marriage is different financially. You have to do what is best and comfortable for both the husband and wife. There is no one size fits all in this situation. I have seen it work with one account and I have seen it work with separate accounts in relationships. Open and honest communication is key 🔑!
Every marriage is the same financially. It is now one money. That is what marriage does. It becomes one. Open and honest communication would be combining the incomes.
Buy 1st than get prenuptial agreement
You can combine dreams and views etc without combining finances. There’s more than one system to follow. Talk to YOUR fiancé or spouse and figure it out for YOU two. Why do people ask other people what to do for themselves?
The concept that married people have separate money is so bizarre, completely foreign, and sounds like a disaster.
I think it is pretty forward thinking. You make money, you contribute. It is more transparent as one can see how much each is contributing. When things get piled up, one can easily slack off.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 If you’re keeping score, you’re doing it wrong.
@@JefferyHunt Hey, I am not going down with the train wreck. Stay true to old marriage values and you will always be struggling. Good luck!
Just remember guys it’s only “we” when the guy calls or the guy makes majority of they money , when a girl cause “that’s your money not your husbands “ “your married to a broke guy” doesn’t that mean there both broke or??? All they care ab is the sex you are
If you can't trust your spouse with your bank account then you probably shouldn't get married.
Get a prenup and separate bank account.
Remember, 401ks. I believe it's a federal law that the spouse must sign off if not the primary beneficiary, but check. Also, when you roll a 401k into an IRA, anyone can be the beneficiary. Then, think about RMDs down the road. Common thought was that everyone would be in a lower tax bracket in retirement. Not so.
AMEN!!!! If you don’t agree don’t get married
spender vs saver ? problems - YES
Who pays for dinner? But you had cocktails while I just ordered water.
What about large medical expenditures?
What about when one spouse saves for retirement and the other doesn't?
Are they married or roommates. What a dumb question. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.
Yeah but a lot of new generation don’t do it that way …. Everyone have is bank account and we use split wise to do 70% 30%. And it work well that way the way you see it is good but things have change …..
Put it in a joint bank account.
This caller does not get it
Listening to this, I understand why you should be married before buy a house.
What a stupid question. If you’re already planning your exit, don’t get married.
If you plan an exit, don’t do it in the first place.
So no planes, boats, or flammable buildings for you I guess…
Most women have an escape plan!
Have joint accounts to pay for all your bills but definitely have separate accounts for you to do your own thing! You're still an individual!
Me and my partner keep everything separate. I wish we were on the same page of money! I'm the saver and they're the spender. I've tried talking about saving and budgeting, but they won't alter their spending habits at all. I worry for them.
What happens when they retire broke? Are you going to sit and watch them suffer while you live your best life?
@@JuancoPRoFlow More partners = less drain on personal finances
@@JuancoPRoFlow exactly! What is he talking about?
@@JuancoPRoFlow maybe
Does that also include the higher earning wife giving her paycheck to the team of the marriage?
Andrew wants to be married without actually being married.
Combine!!!!! My wife earns more than me, I had student loans. Combining has helped us pay off that loan soooooo much faster.
I make 3X more than my husband and we still share. I pay all the bills and rent but only because i am the finance person in the relationship.
@@teekaybe4016 paying all the bills😶🌫️🤐 what’s the use of him for then? Basically he’s useless
@@remainloyaltoyour0wnsoil580 Oh wow you sound kind of backwards. So are all men good for is their money?
50/50 lol
This guy is still at the same place.
Not yet married. Well ....
This mindset worked in the past, but you should have separate checking accounts and a joint account for which the bills are paid from. Along as the basics are covered then you both retain some freedom.
If he is that concerned. Do not get married to her!!
The only reasons my wife have our separate accounts is because we have had them forever before meeting, and they are on top of our primary joint checking account.
Only reason we keep our accounts is its where our separate spending money, that we have budgeted aside, goes, where a little bit of money goes in to that one can spend without asking the other. Normally used for Christmas or birthday presents. Kinda hard to surprise the other with a gift when they can see the bank statement.
Other than that, joint everything. My dad asked me one day, "how do you two decide who pays bills and stuff? I mean how do you decide which one of you pays how much rent and what bill?" I told him, " what kind of stupid question is that? We are married. Our money goes in a joint account, and we pay bills off that account. That's it."
Honestly. I think my dad was just making sure I wasn't being stupid like my sister, or like him and my mom did before splitting
I like the idea of having your own accounts only for spending money that’s agreed on in your budget otherwise it should all be in one account it gives you a little bit of mad money and play money and I like that type of an independent.
This was a major issue at the end of my marriage about money he often spent more than what was in his budget and he had his budget was higher than mine it was frustrating because he could never tell when he would be dipping into what was considered our money that was already budget for something else
Other people bring other things to the table than just money maybe someone’s running the household and frankly it takes time to run the households and do the shopping and the other Mandane things so whoever gets that it’s like running a small business. I personally would not be happy if I was making a lot less than my husband and I had to pay 50-50 because that would leave me with very little money for fortunately that’s not the case. But yeah I don’t see the love there if they wanted me to live off very little and they were in the cash. I can’t even
Sometimes it's better to keep finances separated because by combining everything it could push your tax liability higher by thousands of dollars. Who wants to pay higher taxes when you can save money on taxes by keeping separate accounts, it doesn't mean you don't love the other person.
Andrew is clearly not marriage material.
Do these callers listen to Dave?
Combining finances is a bad idea.
except it's not
100%
@@annasimons389 You wouldn't understand why.
If you don't want to combine finances with someone, then don't get married. Marriage is about sharing a life with someone, including money and decisions with that money.
@@joecooper8527 Neither you do, unless you are a divorce attorney.
Our pre marital counseling class encouraged us to have two accounts and share bills. This has worked for over 25 years.
Sadly, this 50-50 mindset is being taught by male dating coaches. High value women are worth a good man’s investment.
Easy: You make the payment; she gets the equity. 👍
Gracias👍🙏
If he has that much assets/cash then he needs to go prenup
Oh Lord, another (I am predicting in advance) that he will continually interupt his daughter.
You're married. The only thing that you split is desert or a pizza. You are one. You're a team, partners, unified. This guy sounds like an arrogant control freak and his future wife should be VERY concerned. My husband and I have always shared a bank account, shared a mortgage, shared a car payment, etc. Our paychecks get lumped together into once account and are used to pay our bills.....the bills that we share and are jointly responsible for. That's what you do. It's called marriage. It sounds like this guy has absolutely no business getting married until he can get over his selfishness.
But what if you do not make anything? I think back in the 1960s it was okay. When females work now, it should be split in terms of how much each is making.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Absolutely not. When you get married, you are entering into a life together. You combine households and income. There is no “yours and mine.” You are a team with a shared goal and shared financial obligations.
@@jrwheeler81 Yeah, no. I am not sure who thought all that up, but I am going to give my love and that is it. If they need help, it is not to state that I would not give some $ to tie them over, but...
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 I feel horrible for whoever marries or has married you. What you are describing is NOT a partnership. In fact, it's extremely selfish.
@@jrwheeler81 Yeah, well, is is what must happen now. Businesses are paying barely livable and the individuals who have well off paying jobs now have to support deadbeat fefails or fefails under laws that extort a lot to keep attorneys and judges employed. It is a messed up system, but if both contribute, the attention is more on the emotional aspect and less on the finances.
What if she or he is not good with money ????💣
Amber Heard? She pledged it, same as paying it....right?
I will still listen to Dave and Rachel, but never again Hades Jade or George Camel Toe. I’m not a fan of Dr. John Bologna or Kimmie Coleman either
She better have a job
Modern women have ruined the nuclear family. They have men asking these silly questions.
Don't marry this guy run far away!
the unfair thing about the so called marriage advantage is it is logistically and mathematically impossible for everyone to be married. married people are no more important or accomplished than single people. i despise special rights and privileges for the married
However much you make on taxes. This is why you never combine tax returns even for marriage.
It's crazy to me that people are more willing to share genetics with another than their pocket books.
Kinda, but not really. 50% of marriages fail and I believe most of those people had doubts early on. So to me it shows their level of vulnerability and how confident they are in their marriage.
Ever tried to have sex with a wallet? Didn’t think so. 😆
@@shelleygreyrealtor 50 percent do fail, but 97 percent of men loose in their vow to the government when it does end. Remember men, you may love your wife and she may love you, but you stand before a state court (not a preacher) if it doesn't work out whether it's your fault, her fault or both of your faults.
Andrew would not be calling if the soon to be wife was the one making more money.
The wife could make more; it's never mentioned and he might be calling because she doesn't want to share with him. Have you ever thought about that? It's probably not the case, I know, but it could be. lol
Bingo!
No, because in that case, Andrea would be calling in instead.
@@TheFlyingZuluNah.
Not necessarily. Sometimes people call saying that it's unfair their spouse is making them pay for half the bills when that other spouse makes substantially more money.
Spot on! My wife and I have a saying in our home. "Every dollar earned, is everyone's dollar" It is all combined, and It goes where it needs to.
My husband started paying for me the week I moved in as dating, I was working but made way less. Now im a stay-at-home mom with 16 acres he bought for us and It has been a dream
❤❤❤
The dream 😍
@@loverules5118 When my husband had to have surgeries, he was paid as if he went to work regardless of how much time was needed off. All jobs aren't the same and some families pre-plan for situations like this.
@@loverules5118 Preparing for unlikely events has almost nothing to do with one income vs. two. You could both be in a car wreck and unable to work at any moment.
must be nice
If you're feeling uncomfortable about finances while being engaged speak up right now don't play games with it because once you say I do its a whole different ball game have the conversation now about how you feel about bills and money its a sensitive topic but you have to talk about it
My husband makes considerably more than I do but it's a joint deal. I cook, clean and honestly I'm a bit domestic despite working part time but it works incredibly well for us. I don't know about this guy, if you want things to be 50/50 cut with a steak knife then don't get married - get a room mate. 😳
That housework is worth something. It is money that you don't have to pay out. One of the best ways to save in my opinion is to take care of yourself as much as possible. If you are your own maid, mechanic, handyman, etc... You will go further. Good on you!
I don't think it's fair to paint every marriage with the same broad brush. The fact is that 50% of marriages fail, and I bet most of those marriages still have joint accounts. People manage money in different ways, and to insist everyone do it one specific way, and a way that doesn't have a great track record, is a little short-sighted IMO.
Nothing wrong with domestic. Don't say it like you're ashamed.
I'm in the same boat, but my wife makes double what I do.
@@boredoreos you’re living the dream!
It never occurred to my wife or I to have separate accounts 30 years ago when we got married. We have two married adult children and both have separate accounts from their spouses. Times have changed for better or worse.
I imagine either can work, but you better be deciding how the money is spent as a team and with no secrets, or trouble is headed your way eventually. Besides that, it's hard to build intimacy with your spouse if your not willing to allow them into every aspect of your life.
It's not working, your kids are just lying about their relationship or don't care about it.
I suspect it's the high divorce rate, low trust marriage environment that creates fear in fully committing to share all aspects of life and be vulnerable, even in the financial partnership of marriage.
My wife and I have both joint and separate accounts. It works brilliant and we are generous with eachother
My wife and I have done separate accounts for 20 years and it worked fine for us. I don’t think we ever saw it connected to intimacy and especially don’t now. For us, it was a very effective way to deal with two very different approaches to money. If we had combined it, I suspect it would have led to a lot of unnecessary arguments and put a strain on our marriage. The way we have done it, it has removed it as an issue at all in our marriage.
@@jaymepechan2115 I agree! It works for us too. We do have each others name on the accounts,( sometimes he has me use his debit card for something, but,other than that, we just spend out of our own account. We pay our own bills & that way no issues with the money.
I've been married 30 years and we have always had one checking and one savings account all our money goes in them and pays the bills, no splitting of anything its all ours and we both make money. We have never ever fought over money issues.
I can't imagine having separate accounts. One of the first things we did after my wife and I got married was close our accounts and open a joint account where 100% of her income and mine go into that account. The whole point of a marriage is to combine everything and build a life together. Y'all can disagree with me, but I think it's weird to have separate finances. It contradicts the entire purpose of getting married.
I agree with you 💯 Husband and I do the same.
Typically I would agree, but with the divorce rates these days people although married are still scared to combine finances.
38 years together and the minute we were engaged it became we and ours.
@@t206kid True, my second wife and I married in our late 40's, early 50's and we both are already pretty well established. We have a joint account, but separate also, and honestly have not had any issues with "sharing the dream". It's worked pretty well so far.
@@t206kid if you are scared to combine finances, this is the first sign that the person is not marriage material
He's not listening nor wanting to grasp the concept, so he should probably stay single and take care of 'his' money.
Nothing wrong with that
@@jeff-wv8te agreed
I hope he took Dave's advice.
It looks like they have second thoughts about their relationship, this is a time bomb 💣
Pre-divorce thinking.
so many couples had a wedding yet don't have a marriage
My x-wife always want a Joint checking account but she had a spending problem ,and I did not want not want to have a joint account with her knowing that she couldn't keep her balance in the plus!
my parents are not only separate but my dad runs a business and my mom has virtually no clue or any say in his business operations. she is perpetually broke day to day but will retire soon because of what he has built for the two of them. she's horrible with money she makes about 40k and saves nothing (she does pay for groceries and some bills).. and he is pragmatic and extremely diligent with money. it has worked for them
What has worked for them? That his business is separate from the marriage $$? It should be. That your mom pays for groceries and some bills and your dad saved and now they will both retire together some day? Should be interesting once your mom no longer has an income and is spending your dad´s $....maybe they could have joined their finances at the beginning and your mom take a course on budgeting etc. I think they are in for some frustating days ahead. Hope not.
Sounds like it worked out better for her.
That doesn’t sound like it worked out at all. If they had been operating as a team, maybe she could have learned some finance skills and they could have resolved their differences in counseling. The challenges could have forced improvement. Now your dad is just liable for her anyway, but this whole time she hasn’t learned how to manage money with him and they’re probably headed for some really rough times as a result.
When he dies you better takeover
@@montymython754 nah they pretty happy
I never understood this concept when people get married and still have this mentality where your money is yours and my money is mine. That makes everything so complicated and honestly sounds like a toxic relationship. What happens when you have kids? I don't know the ladies name but 100% agree with everything she said.
to me this is like yes in health but no in sickness. and these "separately" thinking relationships do end up separating more often than not, since it's more using than giving imho.
The term "toxic relationship" is banded around with such reckless abandon these days. Jesus wept.
Some women have such bad money habits that he can't risk her F'ing up everything he works for or vice versa. Theu may love each other but one may be more responsible than the other & has to be in more control of the resources before they both end up in the poor house
"The lady" is Dave's daughter Rachel Ramsey Cruze. She is definitely on board with her dad ideas. Her husband also works for Ramsey Solutions, but not as an On-air. Personality.
@@devilsadvocate7059 I think it's smart to have a little tail on the side too
Lots of marriages end in divorce, would be interesting to hear Dave talk about the financial aspects of that. Would be interesting to know how many people stay in abusive relationships because they don't have their own money and don't control the household finances. I've heard the difficulty women have after they've been stay at home moms who suddenly find themselves as a single parent with no job experience.
I was a stay at home dad for years. I did not lose my knowledge and skills. If you come out the other side and know nothing, you probably knew nothing going into it. Nobody's fault but your own.
The more common issue is getting divorced due to money problems, which data shows are more prevalent when couples maintain separate finances. You’re more likely to have a problem due to not combining finances than due to not having “your own money.”
I agree. Most of what Dave is talking about is the event it actually works out! Lol if they get divorced, that is a whole different set of problems. Also depending on what state they are both in.
@@armandm.2166 if you think you would get a divorce then you should not get married.
This is again why both should know what is going on with the money. If you budget have goals you should have money in the bank and if something happens you should be fine. If you are unaware of what is going on that is when problems start to happen. In today's world, there is no reason to not have some skills or work from home even if it's part-time or have some side business. You could literally make money being an influencer posting dumb things.
As a SAHM, my husband is the breadwinner, and we share all accounts. But the budget tells us how to spend the money in the account, and TBH, I’ve been having a hard time staying within the grocery budget, and we’re working on that together. My husband and I work on the budget and money together.
Food is very expensive. It is difficult to stay in a budget when you cook every night
@@katemiller7874 It's even more difficult to stay on a budget when you buy restaurant or takeout every night. Cooking at home is the most economical way.
Full transparency in marriage is a sign of a healthy relationship. I have known many couples where a spouse died and the widow/widower had no clue about even the basics of their finances. It should be a joint endeavor with both partners fully informed.
My MIL was like that. Her husband died three years before I met her. She was angry with him for years. I can not believe how financially clueless she is. She is 70 and.can't afford to quit working even with her SSI benefits.
First sign you might want to pause on marriage: going into a “combining” activity with “separation” thoughts.
When you are married and you are Uncomfortable with a joint account then there is something going on that’s more than the money.
I completely disagree with that you’re two separate people it’s easier to manage yourself than it is to manage yourself and another person and it takes away from getting mad at each other for spending money that was not discussed separate is way better same reason you have two different toothbrushes you don’t share toothbrushes😂
@@kaydendressler4469 exactly. As long as we each pay our share of bills, i don't care what my wife buys, she doesn't care what i buy. Plain and simple
Yes, there is something going on...........men are waking up to the system (divorce courts, especially when there are children involved).
Dave isn't your therapist. Do what works best for you and your spouse. If money comes from this or that account it isn't as important as being in agreement to how to allocate funds.
This is about money & finances
Agree with 90% of this, but I think seperate checking is great 😊 We line item everything in our budget and keep a certain amount of fun money every month in both of our individual checking accounts. It allows us to pull off small surprises for the other spouse.
Agree. I had an old account When I was single. My budgeted spend money goes into my account. That way it is my separate spending and I don't over spend it.
Also allows him to spend a little on his side chick without you noticing huh
That makes sense. Or you want buy something for yourself that requires more than one month's line item.
Two debit cards linking to same account does the same trick. Conforming to good advice despite your personal disagreement is a great quality of humility
Surprise Honey! I bought a Lamborghini! No really, it's for US!
I'm married and make about 15k more than my wife and we just split the bills. We throw money into a joint account and all out bills get pulled from there. My car is paid off and hers isn't but it gets paid out of the joint acct. We are a team and both pay everything.
I think a hybrid approach is good. 80% in shared account. 10% to the husband for disposable. 10% to the wife for same.
Sounds perfect!
That's called a line item
Such a strange question. And a lot of people think like this today, for some reason. Why be married and keep things separate?
I think, but don't know, that it might be motivated by a little voice in their heads saying "This is mine not yours." Meaning, they aren't all in on the marriage, which... that raises all kinds of red flags for the health and wellbeing of the marriage long-term. Theoretically, it could tie in to a more selfish outlook on marriage as well. The "What do I get from this?" "How does this benefit me?" mentality. Now I know for some people there is also previous financial abuse from their parents or a past relationship, so they aren't willing to risk that again, but that also means they have some healing and probably some couple's counseling that they could benefit from.
seems strange too that you are living with the fiancee for two years and not married.....is it possible the guy is unsure all around ?
@@susanedghill609 It's possible, in which case the marriage should not move forward until those issues are resolved, but society has normalized 100% the concept of living with someone prior to the "I do's" which does introduce risk to each person, as Dave has explained on numerous occasions. Owning a house with a deceased fiance's parents for example. Society does not discuss THAT at all.
@@susanedghill609 couples have lived together for far longer than this one, and still aren't married.
I love Dave's expression when this caller ask the question of splitting the house payment.
Ugh....🙄🙄🙄🤣🤣🤣 you don't wanna combine anything don't get married easy as that, but it's so weird people always wanna share their DNA but never finances it's dumb
excellent point
Amen.